#i feel like im going insane. this cant be the normal Just Casual kinda thing can it??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kingzephy · 2 years

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Man. I just keep thinking about Dead Souls and how much I fucking love it. Im just gonna ramble about it under the cut

Im not finished w it yet im almost finished but. Its so criminally underrated and it sucks that it hasnt gotten a proper good localization or port that isnt janky and laggy. I dont regret buying or playing it in the slightest.

Yeah its absolutely got some issues and I could talk about them for a long time, but it scratches this itch for me that I just cant explain well. I love it. I love cheesy campy media thats so bad its good which is honestly a big reason why i like it. It doesnt take itself too seriously at all. In a way it almost reminds me of some games I grew up playing, like re4 and house of the dead in a sense. Its really nothing like those games but you know what I mean

I actually dont mind the controls too much (though to be fair I had to switch to the type b control scheme and that feels better to me). Not being able to do the auto aim and walk at the same time doesnt bother me as much as i thought it was going to but it’s probably cuz im used to that from re4. Thankfully theres multiple aiming modes which makes up for that and you can walk around with the strafe aiming which is actually mostly accurate and feels good to use

Some of the weapons like Majima’s shotgun or Ryuji’s gatling gun especially are really satisfying. Even if theres a few enemies in particular that drive me insane (the monkey boys and especially the molotov cocktail zombies are so annoying they are the bane of my existence) overall i dont have too many issues w the combat aside from. Heat snipes being difficult to trigger sometimes, the auto aim can be a little glitchy every now and then, and occasionally getting overwhelmed by hoards of zombies but thankfully theres good weapons and attacks for that. I like that they included shit like chainsaws and flamethrowers

I love all the characterization they squeeze in for Majima and Ryuji especially, Its always great getting to play as Majima of course and I kinda think hes at his best in this game in some ways for several reasons, despite the weird localization. Hes just out there living his best life and I love that for him. Its good getting to see him like. Actually kinda happy for once. Its always nice getting to see him interact with characters like Akiyama. AND it was good getting to see more Akiyama and Hana together ofc

I really love the hostess conversations and the nonchalant and casual banter, I eat that shit right up. So much interesting dialog. I really enjoy the substories quite a bit, some of them more than others but i love how they poke fun at certain tropes. Theres a few real stand out ones. The main story is enjoyable and funny in a ridiculous way, even if the pacing can be weird and the plot is objectively not done well but I love it anyway for its cheesy edginess. Theres a few scenes that have really stuck with me. I think its funny how a lot of the citizens are in denial or are straight up just unaware of the outbreak and act like life goes on like normal which is something that I think. Aged well. Given the current state of the world rn

As a fan of other survival horror games its fun seeing the very obvious references to other games and such (L4D, RE, etc). I like getting to see Kamurocho in a state of complete disarray, I think the idea of separating the unaffected areas and the quarantine zones is smart and a cool idea so theres not constant zombies everywhere, the game gives you a bit of reprieve (even if it means theres some backtracking and taking the long way around things sometimes). I like how the zones move and change over time as the story progresses and more areas get infected.

Anyway. I dont really care if a piece of media is objectively good as long as Im personally having a good time and having fun w it and I can definitely say Ive had fun. If I wasnt a yakuza fan I can tell you for a fact I would not like this game but. I dunno. I am not immune to its charm. If youre a big yakuza fan and you haven’t played it I recommend at least checking it out on an emulator or something

#my stuff #yakuza #this is barely coherent i just have a lot of thoughts about this game

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endwalkr · 5 years

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this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc. super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’)

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda.

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all.

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs.

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice.

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing.

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1.

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me.

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them.

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

#uh. i really just spent and hour and a half writing this down but ya #i love ya video games #personal #long post #like. really long

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m. sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad. But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking about random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

#JudeJournals #jude shepard #tumblr diary #journal

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identitycris1s · 5 years

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so this is the new year

im finally taking time to sit down and reflect on the past few months. the new year came and went and its been a bit of a whirlwind. i suppose i’ll just go by chronological order cos i dont really know how to start...also i dont think im an abstract thinker so really my life isnt ordered by “themes” or “lessons” or whatever but i sort of think of it in terms of events and the epiphanies or lessons that flow therefrom. this is probably just gonna be a stream of consciousness exposition cos im lazy to organise my thoughts and this is basically my journal so WHATEVER!

November

X told me he liked me and asked me out. i was shocked. but sort of saw it coming (what else could “r u free after lunch, i have some stuff to say” mean...LOL). i reacted awkwardly - distinctly remember saying “huh..what does that MEAN!!!” (LOL) i told him i would think about it but could probably only give him an answer after part b was over.

tbh this was probably just me stalling for time. i think instinctively i knew that i didnt see him in that way, but he seemed to tick so many boxes in terms of who i was “supposed” to be with - that sounds dumb, but what i mean is he’s a steadfast christian, a good boy, similar values, similar tastes in music / movies / books, same bloody industry LOL...

also he seemed really serious about it - ermmm he brought up marriage on that first day :0 ok i suppose thats unfair and it sounds insane without context - he said it with reference to how dating is always with a view to marriage which i do agree with but yes it was a lot to absorb in one conversation. and then he cracked out this book about dating and marriage and i was like woah. so, given how much thought he seemed to have put into this (he also said he chatted with his CG leader about me yikes) i felt obliged to at least think it through properly and give myself some time to consider rather than immediately rejecting him.

and so i mulled it over whilst studying for part b. he was overseas for a while towards the end of my studying period (ie when i was freaking out the most and generally being a headless chicken) and this probably contributed to me feeling like i liked him more than i really did hmm wonder what this says about me. i like to feel like someone’s out of my reach i suppose. so fucked up lol! and so during this period we were texting everyday and i would look forward to his replies and he was a real source of comfort during that stressful period and i never told him this and i probably never will.

December

exams were over and i had to face D DAY!! so i went to meet him to give him my answer and honestly even on that day i didnt know what my answer was. we met at BTM and he literally had written down a list of things to talk about and i think in that moment i knew this probably wouldnt work out. hes so damn thoughtful about every little thing and he thinks everything through and even though he seems to think he “doesnt take things too seriously” I THINK HE DOES...and i really dont...so i felt that showed how incompatible we were. its not a bad thing to be thoughtful. its just that i felt so pressured by how seriously he was taking things...i thought “trying this out” would be casual and chill and we would just hang out as if we were friends but with this overarching agenda of potentially being together but no his conception of “trying things out” is much more intense and serious and thought out and in his words “intentional”. which i realised is some christian dating jargon haha.

dinner was normal until he cracked out that list i was talking about. then he started talking about what he wanted out of a relationship and asked me what i wanted out of a relationship. like it was a damn interview. you know what, im saying this in a really condescending tone and i wouldnt ever be this hurtful if i knew he was gonna read this - in fact i really do think this kind of approach would suit many people and perhaps a more emotionally well adjusted person would think this was normal but i felt so bombarded and i really didnt know what to say in response. so i blurted out some nonsense about wanting to be with someone who was God fearing and “kind and compassionate” and “ambitious” LMAO...what bullshit (that last one i mean). and he had clearly thought out his answers a lot more and he went on a whole spiel about wanting to be with someone who could stand on their own as a christian and who he didnt have to “drag along” on their walk with God and i was like ok cool but i think im not that...im not what youre looking for...but of course i didnt say this. idk why. maybe i enjoy being wanted and sought after and i didnt want to shatter his illusion that i was what he was looking for, even though i was kinda seeing that he wasnt what i was looking for.

anyway, being the shitty person i am, i told him it wasnt a no but it wasnt a straight out yes either i.e. i would be willing to try with a view to potentially saying yes. and we left it at that. but even as i said bye to him that night i kinda knew this wasnt gonna work...but i wanted it to! i wanted to like him! i want to be the kind of person who can accept love from a well adjusted person who’s not afraid to be real and to take things seriously...but i suppose i have some emotional growth to work on...or is it perfectly valid for me to not want to be with him? tbh i never found him attractive (physically or even personality wise oops) - he doesnt make me laugh, hes kinda too uptight, he doesnt get my jokes (i have to be like “JUST KIDDING” a lot of the time..ded) but somehow we worked as friends. but to be with someone requires something more than just working as friends doesnt it?? ack

so we met a few times in dec (i think we went on four or five “dates” in total...im so reluctant to call them dates cos throughout i just couldnt see him in that light, but thats what they were i think) and through the course of our interactions i started picking up on things that i didnt like about him / about our interactions. this sounds awfully petty and i dont wanna be mean about this cos im sure i have MANY MANY MANY flaws that one could nit pick but these were just some signs that we would not work (quite apart from my lack of physical attraction to him)

1. our conversations always end up argumentative. i think this probably stems from both of us being law students and so whenever we disagree on something we both cant seem to fucking let it go. i distinctly remember one stupid conversation, i shall put it here (not verbatim but this is the gist of it)

X: what are your new years resolutions?

S: i dont like making new years resolutions because they always end up in disappointment because i never stick to them.

X: but disappointment isnt always a bad thing because you can learn from it and improve from there

S: yes but that doesnt mean disappointment isnt a bad thing - cos disappointment in itself is bad (like duh the feeling of disappointment is bad) but what comes after disappointment can be good or bad i.e. you can choose to work on yourself and improve or you can wallow in the disappointment.

-some more argument and confusion about what we are even talking about-

S: ok lets not argue on this its a semantic point.

X: is it semantic? its not semantic.

S: it is semantic. we are disagreeing on what the word disappointment means. i think it is necessarily negative but you are saying that disappointment isnt always negative because of what can come after but i think thats sidestepping the point of disappointment being negative in itself.

do you see what i mean. what kind of petty argument is this? whats the damn point? of course im definitely not blameless in this at all. i perpetuate it. but what im saying is i feel like talking to him brings out this argumentative side of me that im not a fan of. also its fucking exhausting haha.

2. he is so. fucking. serious. every conversation involves some heavy thing like spirituality or self evaluation or Godliness etc. which i suppose is good but i just found it tiring...why cant things be light? why cant things be fun? why do we always have to talk about *important* or *weighty* things? tbh i think he sorta compartmentalises me as a friend whom he can talk about these *weighty* things with cos im also a christian and i get what hes saying when he talks about God but i dont want to only talk about that...

3. we dont have similar senses of humour. i dont think he thinks im funny...but i think im bloody funny ok haha also i dont think im deluded on this? my friends think im funny too? yeah i think its a major problem that we cant really laugh together...hes not someone that makes me laugh at all :(

ok enough bashing X haha i really do think hes a great person we are just NOT compatible romantically.

ANYWAYS! sometime in dec i also met up w SM for the first time in aaaages. but things were like normal again. sounds stupid but i think ill always think of him as the one who got away LOL....emotionally unavailable and not interested in me?? IM DOWN! haha. ok hes not emotionally unavailable tbh i probably was more emotionally unavailable in the course of our friendship but he defo never really expressed any interest in me other than always hanging out one on one but that doesnt really count for anything does it. anyways! he told me about his BTO plans and im honestly v happy for him :) friends r growing up and moving on in life mang..

sad part was i dropped avo toast on my new everlane pants and that honestly ruined my day lol

January

NYE was spent w S and some of her friends plus R and A (who went home after dinner cos of family drama lmao angie is siao) - we went to AL’s fam friends party at fullerton for countdown and the fireworks were amaaaazing, lasted about an hour (which made us question the budget allocation on this tbh isnt it a bit of a waste?? fireworks are insanely expensive??) and we promptly went home after the clock struck 12 which was perfect haha i have no stamina to stay out late anymore.

work started on 2 jan! its been fun tbh - back with the trainees and meeting some new people and using my brain again. i like feeling useful and being stuck in a routine...at least for now haha. check in on me in about 3 months and we’ll see.

and....i finally mustered up the courage to tell X the truth ie i didnt see this going anywhere and we should just be friends. we had kind of an awkward dinner (i could feel myself being rude to him and being dismissive etc but i think it could partially be attributed to me being tired from work..but mostly cos i didnt wanna be with him!! as a romantic partner!! it felt wrong!) and so i told him after dinner otw to the mrt (funny, we always have these convos otw to the mrt haha). he said he understood and he sort of felt it coming. and i felt bad - he mustve picked up on my coldness and rudeness over text and in our meetings also...why am i like this. i shouldve been up front with him on the first day. but i didnt know!!! i didnt know for sure this is how i felt. ahhh well u live and u learn right. next time ill be better at this. hope theres a next time LOL God pls send me someone whos right for me

ok bye for now! this was a lengthy post haha

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askpet-archive · 6 years

Text

PET Ep 9

Ari sat up slightly, a bad feeling in her gut. She pulled out her phone and dialed Arthurs number as fast as she could move, grabbing Eras book.. WHy does Arthur only have one life, oh my god oh my god Ari flipped through the pages, letting out a squeak when noticing the others also only have one life, what the fuck was going on "Fuck! ANgy, Arthur- Vincent! whoever this is! Why the fuck are you all at only one life!" she screamed into the phone, worry in her voice Era wakes up, looking over to Ari in confusion "Wha." "ARTHURS GONNA WHAT?!" She screamed, panic in her tone "I DIDNT SET UP ANYTHING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO KILL ARTHUR?! HE WAS AT OVER A HUNDRE DLIVES JUST A SECOND AGO!" Era shifts away from Ari slightly, deciding to just listen to her "Cre-creepy woman!?" Ari was starting to tear up not, shaking obvious "How is she holding him up that high? mgic? wings?? Why is my brother going to die please save him he cant die- why is she holding him up?!" her voice sounded kind of choked, she obviously had no part of this "My little brother cant die- you guys c-cant either- sa-save him and g-get away-" Era is so confused right now, the only thing she knows is that Arthur is probably going to die. She lightly pats Ari on the shoulder "Hey- hey- calm down, count to ten, and try to focus on breathing. What's going on?" She'd hug Ari right now but wants to make sure she's okay first Ari took a deep breath "what is she t-telling you t-to do? l-listen to her- if s-s-shes just gon-gonna-- d-dont-- just-- try-try and c-catch him-" she stopped, taking a deep breath and holding the phone away from her ear to stare at Era "i have to go back right now we wont be able to get there in time my little brother is going to die an-and-" she choked on a sob, tears now going down her cheeks. Era pauses, "Wait- Okay, okay," She softly hugs her "Shh, calm down, I'll go try and see if there's any way to leave before the barrier is gone okay?" She lets go of Ari, standing up "Try and calm down, okay?" Era heads inside of the Acachalla house to go ask anyone if there's a way to leave Ari put the phone back to her ear "p-please dont l-let my brother die- please..i- ill try and..ill...I cant get there in time- oh my god- Arthur--..Angy just, listen to the woman if shes saying something- dont. let. her. k-kill. him. Ill...Billy! E-Era! ask Billy!" she yelled slightly, her angry-sad tone more obvious when screaming Era proceeds to loudly ask, while inside of the house, "BILLY ARE YOU AWAKE??" Max heard all the yelling and finally took her hood off. "I-Is someone dying?" "AcTUALLY, you are correct," "Oh. Whos dying??" She began to shake Billy to wake him up, as he indeed was fast asleep. "Uhm, Arthur, maybe everyone else. Billy wake up." "Oh gosh, what are they doing back there??" Billy blinked open his eyes "mmph?? what? dying?? what did i hear bout Dying?" he mumbled, looking at the two people around him "I need to know if there's any way to leave the barrier before 8AM. We need to leave now, everyone else is going to die, they only have a few lives left." "Wait were leaving? I wanna stay here..." Max frowned, it was nice here, oddly Ari choked on a sob hearing Angy say something "Arthur- is he okay- is-- where is he- Phone- give to him--" she stred at the book as all their names joined one page, number switching to five "..H-HOW ARE YOU Sh-SHARING LIVES?!" Billy jolted when hearing that "theres no way to leave the barrier no. wait, sharing lives? what the dang?" he got to his feet and ran over to Ari to look at the book "..that shouldnt be able to happen, someones messing with their life count.." Max stood up, stretching. There goes her happy party. Era follows Billy "Okay okay, so there is absolutely, no way, at all, to leave?" "No way, at all. no." Billy sighed "I would fly one of you over there but i dont know if the barrier will let you leave tonight. only im able to get out, from what ive learned. anytime ive tried bringing someone they lost a life." he muttered Max followed, "Isnt there anyone around here who can make a portal out or something? Plus that would be much faster for us to get there.." "Arthur? Arthur??" she heard her brothers voice, and is trying to take deep breaths now "what happened. Why did you almost die, why were you at one life, why re you sharing lives!? nonono, forget all that, are you okay, are you hurt at all? i mean i understand you're probably scared to death but hurt? and if not to calm yourself down take deep b-breaths- and- and- if you a-are hu-hurt- t-try just- pressing on the wounds- an-and-" she choked on a sob "i thought id lost you Arth- oh my god--" she murmured "do you have any med packs??" shes concerned, shes just so fuc king w orr ied "Im guessing no one in this insane city can make portals? Or am I just getting ignored here?" Billy looked over "not portals out of the city." "Laaame" "Well, this is going great." "I didnt do an-anythign i swear!" she sobbed into the mic angrily "i dont kno-know whats g-going on- im just w-w-worried about y-you because a-apparently you a-almost died-" "i forgot Arthur- i f-forgot i- i didnt want a-anything t-to happen-- i-- i- Im trying to find a way to get there now- ill come find you alright? j-just- stay away f-from the crazy wo-woman- try a-and hide- and im a-atleast 80% s-sure the call w-w-was lying so- you- you shouldnt encounter a-anything- i s-swear i had n-no clue t-this would happen- i just-- i thought it was a normal call y-you and Ang co-could handle.." "..ill b-be there asap. If yo-you have to. and h-have a gun. Show n-no mercy to anything you find." she sighed quietly "...d-dont c-cry anymore, alright? y-you've got Vincent and Angy to pr-protect you and ill be there soon." she heard his voice. She didnt give a chance to respond before hanging up, stumbling to her feet "I need to go home- Now." she muttered, glaring at Billy, who just sighed "theres no way of gettin out kiddo." "Wheres the barrier at anyways, like can we just go.....right up to it right now?" Max looked at the sky, it looked weird compared to the sky anywhere shes been before.... -------- Update on Spop. She is currently trying to stitch Klondike back up, but is poking herself with the needle than Klondike Update on Ari, she sat with Billy trying to comfort her for awhile until she fricking passed the fuck out on the grass from exhaustion and tears Era pauses, having been waiting for the barrier to disappear since she couldn't fall back asleep. After a moment, she blinks, checking the time. "Ah!" Era shuffles over to where Ari was currently passed out, shaking her slightly "Arrriii wake up." Ari shot awake in an instant. She looked up at the sky and jolted, stumbling to her feet "ge-get Max and Spop-- Home- now-" she stammered, holding her head from gettin up way too fast. Billy came out of the house, looking over "...? Oh, i was gonna come tell you, its, its 8:30. but i guess you know that." he chuckled slightly "choices are car, or i can try carrying one or two of you at a time, though the second option might be a bit dizzying." Ari looked at Era with a pleading look. She had to get to Arthur as fast as she possibly could "Okay- Okay- Uhm, is the second option faster?" Billy nodded "i mean yea, i can fly pretty fast" Ari kind of just, put out an arm, so Billy, from instinct, grabbed it, gesturing so he could grab Eras"im gonna, hope neither of you are too afraid of going to high." "Haha, I'm terrified of it." She holds out her own arm "I just won't look down and I'll probably be fine. BUT, don't, go to high. Billy nodded, grabbing Era's arm "i can put you down at anytime if you wanna ditch this.. so." wings kinda just, appeared on his back, hello spawning "Max! Spop! ill be back to carry you guys soon, got it?" and up they went, high up but not to high. Ari looked down at the ground, making an inhumane noise Spop was leaning on the wall, asleep with Klondike in her arms An alarm went off, it was Maxs phone. She woke up and went to go turn it off, even though she knew she had to get up. She really didnt want to leave. Era proceeds to stare ahead, not looking down despite her curiosity Billy sped up..pretty fast. the ground was like, pretty much just a rapid blur, Ari screeched and grabbed Eras free hand for comfort, she hates this, she hates this,,, Era is trying so hard to not scream right now, gripping onto Ari's hand ------------ billy just casually drops off two females outside the building then goes back to get the other two females Ari got to her feet quickly, holding her head and looking up..it was..still night here. She checked her phone, how the fuck was it still only around 9:30 here? So Arthur would've called...15? 20 minutes ago?? okay, whatever "Okay, in...in here." she muttered, running around to one of the windows and grabbing at the boards, trying to pull it off "Era, come help me out with this!" she called, not caring a crazy lady was probably watching them Era runs over to Ari, proceeding to try and pull off the boards with her Ari heard a tiny crack and pulled on it harder, watching the wood come off and quickly hopping inside, pulling Era in before the board reappeared Era stumbles a bit when being pulled in, blinking and pulling out her flashlight when realizing it was a lot darker then expected "Okay so.. what are we expecting to see here?" Arthur's probably still just. Walking around in the darkness, pulling Angy along so he has something to cling to. His eyes have gotten used to the darkness at this point, but he's still scared to death and wants to make sure he's not left by himself. "Arthur, for one." Ari took a flashlight out of her quiver, flicking it on, keeping her hand over the light so it wasnt too bright. "Angy for two. and..maybe Vincent." "Nono, like, evil demon things. What are we expecting with that?" "Nothing. besides the crazy lady, which.. uh, we see that?..haha, we can just say goodbye" she moved a finger across her neck to show what she meant, giving a soft grin "but i doubt that'll happen." Era pauses, getting her crossbow ready as well "Well, let's hope it won't. Lets go look for them now. Since there's supposedly a crazy lady we.. probably shouldn't yell for them." Angy, her wrist still in Arthur's grip, stopped for a second for what she thought were two faint voices. "Do you hear that..?" Ari's werecat ears were useful in this situation, and she grabbed Eras arm, darting out of the room they were in and moving her flashlight around to see around "Angy?" she called quietly, worry in her tone Era follows along with Ari's movements, trying not to fall from all of the sudden being dragged around "What, the random creaking every now in then? All the other sounds my head likes to make up? Because yeah, yeah I d- oh that." He wasn't sure who that was, and didn't CARE who that was, he was just. scared. So the voice makes him cling to Angy even harder. The young girl heard a voice calling out her name, she debated to reply back, thinking it might be a trick but decided in the end to call out as well "Hello? Who's there..?" Era pauses, whispering over to Ari "I think that's them." Ari pulled Era towards the sound, not calling again. After a few minutes, they had light, from Ari shining the flashlight on them...oh, thats Ari releasing Era and throwing her arms around her brother in a hug "oh thank god your okay-" she muttered, no escape Arth, this is overly protective sister, she kind of, looked at Angy with a grateful, and worried smile, making sure to remember getting out med packs Angy sighed with relief "Thank god it was actually you, I thought we were dead.." Era walks over to them as quietly as possible "What's- what's even been happening?" He'd sCREAm AT FiRst Because holy Shit he didn't expect that, but soon just hugging back whoever this was because Shit it's still dark. Ari shined the light enough on both her and Arthur so he could see her and she could see him "Sorry for scaring you, i was just really fricking worried-" she muttered "We got tricked by that.. woman thing.. she told us to give up our stuff for the "test" Ari had made for us." Angy went up to Era "We refused and that's when she took Arthur way high up.." "Oh god, that sounds terrifying." "i had nothing to do w-with making the test. i got a call, i answered. common business curtesy. Everything she did was all her. I would never try to get Arthur killed." she kind of, thought about Arthur being high up, and just, shivered "..god i shouldnt have made you guys go on this alone, i shouldn't have left.." she mumbled He's not even respondent enough to say anything back, he's just. hug. helo. His eyes are puffy from tears too haha. Era blinks, shining her flashlight down the hallway "We should get out of here now.." Angy turned back to Ari and placed a hand of her shoulder "It's alright, we knew you wouldn't be capable to do this to Arthur, it was just.." She shook her head before continuing "The good thing is that he's okay and you're here now. Era is right, we need to leave" Ari not letting go of her brother until hes okay with it so, as far as she knows they might just hug for awhile. Shes fine with that. "Im not moving from this spot until Arthur decides to just cling to my arm or back or something." she muttered towards Era, then looked back at Arthur, oh, puff eyes. Uh. um. Shes just gonna, pick him up actually, hopefully hes okay with this. Im still questioning how this girl can lift up someone only one inch smaller then her but okay. Casually tries to give her flashlight to Arthur so she just sticks it in his pocket. "alright, ye, okay. lets go. Arth, tell me if you want me to put you down." shes ready to follow™ Era stares at the group for a moment before turning around, heading back to where they got in from "Yes please put me down-" He doesn't like this o boy it's like the whole 'getting-carried-15-feet-in-the-air' situation all over again, except it's not risking his life or at a far enough height to kill him but he still doesn't like being picked u p. He's definitely gonna use the flashlight though. Ari puts Arthur down, but refuses to let him go, so she just softly holds his arm, if he wants to cling then he can. "Era we arent getting out that way, i hope you know. Board resealed. Angy, mind catchin me up on this weird lady?I mean i know she almost killed Arthur but, is she doin anything else right now? and..wheres Vincent?" Angy quickly followed behind Era, already wanting to get away from anything having to deal with this building. Era passes by where they came out from "I know, but I kinda wanna stay in this general area considering how huge this place is." She stopped for a moment, thinking to herself "Oh no.. Vincent god dammit! He was with us and then he walked away for no reason and we couldn't go for him because it was so dark" "We'll find hiiiim." Ari nodded "Era, we cant. we barely know how much time we have to the woman does..something. So spending to long trying to find this new idiot addition to the team is a pretty bad idea." "I meant, "We'll find him while trying to find a way out on accident" because apparently that's how logic works these days." "..right, okay. anyone have any ideas? we could try bombing it from in here..but, i dont..know if that would work. like, blast the door open." "Ehhhhhhh." The boy is silent. He just wants to hide now. He's also wearing his hood over his head, probably to muffle random sounds. "I mean.. as long as you don't bring the whole building down, I think it's a pretty good idea" "alright.." she just, takes out one of her grenades, flicks off the pin, and throws it at the door, hopefully far enough away from Angy and Era "Heck-" Era proceeds to j u M P™ away from the grenade, wanting to be as far away from it as possible Oh, there goes the explosion.. they out? "Uh..cant see." softly grabs Arthurs other arm to direct the flashlight toward the smoke from the explosion, the door is open.. "out, bolt down the road." she muttered, already hearing footsteps behind them. "Stay away from us crazy lady!" she growled, pulling Arthur out of the building and tryin to run as far away from it as possible, god damn good thing its night, vampire speed. Hope the boyo isnt dizzy Luckily this time Angy didn't get crushed or nearly killed by the explosion and did a little happy dance once she saw the door open. She didn't need to be told to run, the footsteps she heard behind her motivated her to start running like a mad man. Era paused for a moment from confusion before speeding out the door, she does not want to stay in here any longer then 0 seconds Ari probabl picked Arth up again halfway,, yea. def did. After they were a really good distance away from the building Era just, stops, heavily breathing "Okay, one, I hate running. Two, I hate running. Three, I hate running." Ari set him down once she felt far enough away "s-sorry about that, i just wanted to get you away from there as fast as possible.." she was, kinda concerned by his look, but decided not to question it "Okay, we're heading home like, right away." Aris going to go out to get Arthur more snacks and let himself lock himself in his room probably "Can I nuke the place first?" "no" "I'm gunna nuke it." Era looks over to the building in the distance "Okay guys it's gunna be nuked." "what" b OO O MM M "My job here is done." His eye twitched. He's probably just sitting on the ground now. The boy is Shook. ".....We.. should go home now." Angy took a moment to catch her breath, seeing as she was way out of shape. "Good job guys, thank you Era for blowing up that.. thing But yeah, let's go home.." Era stares at the destroyed building off in the distance for a moment before turning around "Uh-huh. Max and Spop are probably going to be back soon." "How do we get home if we have no form of trasnportation." He'd mumble, realizing they probably knew and he we just asking that question for no reason, mumbling a barely even coherent 'nevermind sorry'. Ari looked at Arthur "nono its fine, its a good question. I dont wanna torture you with my vampire speed though so, we're probably just gonna walk- if you dont want to walk i can carry you but you said you didnt want that-" "Let's just hope that lady got roasted with the building and doesn't decide to catch up to us" Angy said while starting to walk. Era stands in her place, waiting for Ari and Athur to start walking too "Yeah.." The boy gets up and just follows after Angy. Out of everyone else to trust right now, she was the only one, even if all she did was make sure he didn't start screaming and crying in the dark. Era stares at Ari, waiting for her to go as well. She wants to make sure no one is accidentally left behind Ari went in, another direction "ill meet you guys at home okay? i- im gonna go somewhere. Ill be like 5 minutes, probably will meet you there- hopefully-" Era pauses, continuing to stare at her "Be safe," she quietly says before following the others

#episodes

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