#i dont want things to be different even when its for the better. i think i hauve autism.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[satsuha]

summerrr........ its not over in my heart...... (says this every year)

#octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler ii #satsuhart #temehika #u can tell im a hot weather person cuz i dont think ive ever complained abt the weather on twitter during summer #meanwhile when its winter i DONT shut up #like i dont disagree that its hot. but its. better than the alternative for me #and i grew up in SEAsia so dont @ me #anyway i know theres a literal river flowing through ku but i dont think hikari would know how to swim #like it doesnt seem like an essential skill in the desert. for obvious reasons #and even so the ocean is like a whole different experience #i want to draw like a proper summer pic but oouuahg summer months passed me by... #also i was thinking abt the ending illust where castti is like smiling at hikari while he eats some berries she picked #its so...........mom looking at her kids eating well and being happy kind of thing #so yeah i think she'd murder watermelons for him #octo2

[starswallowingsea]

having thoughts about what makes an interesting idol rhythm game

#i can expand upon it but i think its mostly like. what's the gimmick it's using and how is it executing it #like enstars you have the 3d mvs that you can put whoever you want in and have different outfits to put them in #d4dj you have the dj booth layout that you play with and it utilizes it very well #hypmic is a rap based game entirely and also utilizes record scratching imagery in its gameplay #and then proseka and bandori. proseka's gimmick is very obviously like vocaloids #but in the game play its trying to be too many things and failing at all of them #they have some 3d mvs but the layout of the beat maps makes them like #not really. something i notice when i played it. bc the way they have the map layout set up it kinda grays out the video #which means you might as well not have it on. for enstars the lanes are entirely transparent #so you can see the mv clearly as you play if you have 3d mv on u know #and then like. idk the proseka gameplay just feels brutal. #mostly because it times when you lift off the hold notes and literally no other game does this #even games that use goods as combo breakers like hypmic dont fucking do that #also i do appreciate the flick notes in hypmic being just. flick whereever feels natural #helps a lot while playing to just flick whichever way you want #but anyway yeah i think proseka is relying too much on the vocaloid schtick and people just ignore the atrocious game play #like d4dj does straight lane better. hypmic and enstars are both ring lanes that do their gimmicks well #i do not like proseka can u tell #i didnt play enough bandori to really tell u whats going on there but i did not like the layout for their game #and its made by the same people who make proseka so like. no hope for me getting into it #anyway #shay speaks

[fishnchip3011]

everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

#i almost popped a vein trying not to mention rowan in all of this so this post is more. consumable i guess #but rowan to me is soooooo perfect for him to me because rowan's whole thing is empathy and warmth #where it's a strength but also a weakness for him because he's also a chronic people pleaser and a doormat #out of the need he feels to make people feel valued which is a good thing but not when its to the point of self negligence #rowan gives rly good advice but overburdens himself cuz he feels responsible for ppl&doesnt give himself the same treatment he gives others #when he's with sebastian he helps him feel valued and sebastian learns to trust people more and not to immediately assume the worst of ppl #and seb is sooooooo perfect for rowan bc seb is vocal about what he dislikes and when hes not happy w something/one #and is good at setting boundaries whereas rowan is Not. he helps rowan learn how to say no to ppl and be more assertive #& think abt his own feelings more! they both help e/o vocalize their feelings #for rowan its vocalizing his opinions more and valuing himself more & for seb its vocalizing more for the sake of better communication #w other ppl so he can establish better trust & relations w ppl. and stop being so closed off/unapproachable LOL #their differences match up well but it also leads to arguments/tension cuz seb doesnt communicate and resorts to avoidance #and rowan is too pliant sometimes to the point where it hurts not just himself but the ppl around him including seb #also fun fact rowan is the type to cry when he gets really angry/upset & when seb resorts to avoidance instead of reassurance #(which is what rowan wants) rowan sometimes ends up catastrophizing & also bottles up his emotions similarly to seb #they always reconcile in the end tho even if it takes a while </3 they r both learning ok!!!!!!!! #not perfect to the point where they dont argue bc thats Impossible but they suit each other well. they r good for each other qwq #eon babbles #stardew valley #farmer rowan #<- i talk about him in tags. hehehe

[featherymainffins]

Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like #while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and #both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor #and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in #a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but #on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her #at all nor do you care to #and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her #but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor #and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc #its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of #several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives; #and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad #and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works #we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you #much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person #and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings #is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself #and leaving with just an aspect would be. #thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol #oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like #scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue #basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it #witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love #each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another #and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems #etc etc #like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?

[soldier-poet-king]

This is hell I'm in hell I am going to chew through my jaw in stress

#SCREAMS. #I TAKE IT BACK. PINING FOR LOVE OVER #i am extremelt friends to lovers ONLY i am uninterested in romance unless we are friends first #and lbr im just lonely!! i want more friends!!! #THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANT #and because hes so awkward and bad at social cues idk how to be like. hi. no. im not interested. sorry #FUCK ME. FUCK. #literally this exact thing also happened in highschool #but its different when ur all dumb teens #and im not exactly someone ppl are lining up to flirt with so like!!! #all my crushes and Near relationships have been friendship will they wont theys #I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL #i think tbh that is also part of my aversion to dating apps #i am simply not interested in startinf a relationship or even thinking abt it w someone #unless i know them well as a friend first. #it adds this extra layer of idk. trust? filtering? it feels safer and better to me #i need to know i can trust someone as a friend before i could even think abt trusting them as a significant other #REGARDLESS. THIS IS NOT THAT.

[lesbiangiratina]

Oh my god i need to get a phone with a headphone jack before i end it all.

#ive been using skullcandy wireless headphones for a few years but they fucking break every couple months. #also they discontinued the better kind. theres that too. #i bought a sony pair and ughhhh it sounds worse. trying to save it with equalizer but its so. whatever #can i just get the best and most convenient headphones ever. for free. #BUT UGGHHHH I HATE CHANGE!!! I HATE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!! #its hard enough trying to get alternative earbuds. i havent had a non-iphone since my fucking flip phone. #i dont want things to be different even when its for the better. i think i hauve autism. #yeah theres the fucking dongle but i want to charge my phone too. 3rd party things that do both suck ive tried them. GIVE PHONE MORE HOLES #whatever my phone is fucked up anyway. home button broke months ago. i could replace it some time next year. probably. #i need music. all i do is listen to music. 32 hours on spotify this week if you were curious. #the kat goes meow

[perenlop]

books that changed my brain chemistry at age 9. tbh.

#the animal povs the magic povs the haunting nature of it the way both povs weave together perfectly in the end #despite feeling so different #i still think about the hummingbird :( #this book isnt really. that related to what im about to say. but i was thinking abt the part where night song and hawk man have their baby #and the prose when hawk man holds his daughter and feeling like his entire worldview was shifting and expanding beyond his comprehension #and it was all centered on his baby and his love for her and augh. i think that passage specifically affected me profoundly #and i dont even want kids. i think its why i like writing parent characters #i should reread this.... #echoed voice #wait i forgot to say the thing i wanted to say. i was gonna say that prose is seeping into how i write flamberge and valerie #bc flamberge is like. a terrible person dont get me wrong theyre not a good person. and valerie wouldnt have totally fixed them #but flamberge's entire world shifts when they have their daughter. like they didnt think they were capable of caring for someone that much #but knowing someone as kind as valerie- someone they put in the world and wouldnt exist without them- changes them #they end up loving like they never felt they could before and its like a big step for them for becoming a better person

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[timeisacephalopod]

Part of being Canadian is how similar we are to the US, and honestly not a single person on earth I think could genuinely pin point the difference between Canadian and American culture but the average Canadian. Americans assume we're the same as them (we aren't), even a bunch of Canadians think we're Americans, especially around voting seasons, and about half our cultural identity is "we're Not American!" but there are some cultural differences and if we all spoke French equally we could have had a language distinction but nooooo. Despite not being America unfortunately such a fuck off massive country right below your teeny tiny ass country (population wise) does result in a cultural avalanche from said fuck off massive country. Especially when you share a language.

The war of 1812 will forever be funny to me though because Americans were like "hmm maybe Canadians would also like to tell the British to fuck off, we will invade to show them!" And Canada was like *burns down the white house* and we've been tentatively chill with each other ever since lmao (even when we probably like. Shouldn't be cool with America but like. We could not risk that implosion politically or otherwise it'd be suicide).

#winters ramblings #apparently americans think they won the war of 1812 and you did not. you did not achieve your goal #and a bit over 100 years later canada would nicely ask sempi to be free and britian decided yeah i guess #you guys did a vimmy ridge in WW1 i guess you can be yourselves #and native people- still unable to vote and would be ineligible for another some 50 years or so- were probably like ??!!!!?!!! #REMOVE these pale faced demons!! and i cant say i blame them for that even if my settler ass does not mind being from here #no fucked up spiders very few fucked up bugs ok seasons amd weather where *I* live anyway #i cant complain too much aint no spiders the size of my head OR fucked up weirdo beez on steroids that look like some feckin #HUNGER GAMES ass shit and not an earth bug. if i lived on either coast though my opinion would be different #especially the east coast FUCK their ocean-y assed winters lake effect is bad enough. the SNOW BELT is bad enough #i cando without that shite too although outwest aint better especially in the praries but still no fucked up bugs so 🤷🏻‍♀️ #anyway i do genuinely believe if youre not canadian you wouldnt even know the difference between America and Canadian culture #OR the difference of history and even CANADIANS dont know our voting system isnt the same #like we dont even have half the shit Americans do like an electoral college and canadians STILL think we need to vote #as if we're in a 2 party system. we arent. arguably were in a 4 party system but 3 if you reasonably dont count Greens #its fuckin weird though because youll see people talk about canada and america interchangeably #and like i cant evenblame em when even some canadians get confused or WORSE actually WANT to be america #usually conservatives who like deepthroating boot #although i do think this is somewhat odd as a phenomenon because America doesn't have ONE culture #what canada is near idential to is NORTHERN Americans like the south is a whole Thing with a textured history #like obviously the north is too but culturally i get that more than what the south has going because you could even argue #the south have MULTIPLE cultures and in the north you could at least argue the coasts are distinct culturally #like they got terms like pacific north west we dont have ANY of that we are an EXTREMELY small rural country #its strange to confise it with America but at the same time like. yeah that makes perfect sense to me. and not all at once lol

[yelloworangesoda]

gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this

#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me #‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds #im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing #life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something #i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore #i finished. and i hate it #i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here #i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant #it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them #i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just #didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore #ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better #idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu #but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years #and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!! #i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad #i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped #like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this #drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me #not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess #yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well. #i dont like to say the words #simons spouting #vent :(

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS

#IVE ALWAYS PRONOUNCED T'S WITH MY TONGUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX IT ITS BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG #BUT ONE DAY. I WILL PRONOUNCE MY T'S SO GOOD YOULL THINK IM A WHITE PERSON #WHAT SUCKS TOO IS THAT IM BILINGUAL WHILE ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK TAGALOG MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT SO I- #-HAVE NO PROPER WAY OF PRACTICING IT BC FILIPINOS PRONOUNCE T'S DIFFERENTLY BC OF THE LANGUAGE AND UNLESS IM IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING- #-SETTING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY 💔💔 #even worse i slur over my words all the time. i have a stutter. i have VERY frequent voice cracks and when i try to suppress them i sound- #-ver odd. PLUS ADHD #idk if adhd might be one of the causes or of it gets added to the pile but dude i actually need help 💀💀 #but another problem is i dont think anyone would see the point in it #i communicate just fine its just that i have so much trouble communicating verbally (vocally?) in a way that isnt unnatural and in a way- #-that properly articulates what i want to say and how i say it. often i have so much trouble showing varied emotion to prove a point when- #-im referring or talking about something that isnt reactionary #LIKE DUDE WHY IS TALKING SO HARD 💔ALL PEOPLE CAN TALK WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ALL PF THIS THIS SUCKS #which might be why i prefer writing what i want to say bc unlike talking the way i speak has nothing to do with it. i get given time to- #-think. and with an adhd brain writing what you want to say is so much better because typing it out involves the conscious decision to- #-type it all out and it acts as a filter #BLEFGGGH SORRY I KEEP BLABBERING ON THIS WSS SUPPPSED TO BE A SILLY LITTLE POST IDK WHY I WENT HAM IN THE TAGS #anyways umm yeah i dont like talking. i like communicating and maybe socializing tho. but not talking. does that make sense??? #there r also times where i straightup cant speak at all. i want to speak and i want to say things but my brain feels too busy or ig blank- #-but not empty and i cant form words or sentences and all i have are thoughts and feelings #anyways i think asl is neat and i want to learn it not just for my benefit but also for accessibility #also filipino sign language if im up for it #man there is something wrong w my brain 💀 #mikyomix rambles #yeah this one was a true ramble but only in the tags

[firelordhotman]

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet

#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc #utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences #as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day #and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon #like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!! #i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences #i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is #i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les #this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn #but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything. #it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not #like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different #i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly #misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit #like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god #i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted #& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll #i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious #anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely #at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online #but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right?? #also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'. #its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'. #its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever #thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed

[cruelsister-moved2]

sc below:

i hate this post wheneveri see it sorry lol i can smell the supersessionism. ‘there’s an old jewish story’ yep because judaism is just a quirky abstract reminiscence to help u fix the brokenness of ur own religion and not like a completely different religion with its own theology and philosophy unrelated to urs. there are no people it belongs to or thinkers it produces there is simply an ‘old story’ which you can now insert ur own very specific cultural understandings and theological baggage onto without wondering what the person who said that actually meant by it and if theywould enjoy u using it 2 talk about the guy who invented antisemitism n was forced down their throats for the next 2000 years 

#i dont even know which 'old jewish story' its referring to because #thats like a super common mystical idea #if anything it sounds like more at home in islamic mysticism but i guess #something something 'judeo christian' [starts coughing up blood] #im aware imbeing a hater its not that deep btu i feel like that was a final straw for me today #if nothing else in the world i want christians to know that when anyone from literally any other religion uses this word they are not #referring to the same thing you are. call it a semantic coincidence #i increasingly avoid using the word because its like it confuses more than it explains #its better that you approach other religions with a complete blank slate and assume ur learning abt different deities altogether than to #think u have any understanding of what another religious person means when they talk about their god/s #its like when a word meaning something as vague as to do wrong or to disobey etc #gets translated as sin and its like. sin connotes an inherently christian concept that no other religion shares #comparative religion stop ittttt fr just stop #im still laughing from when i was watching this video n it was like. comparative religion dramatic reenactment #andthen it was just the guy trying to shove a square block into a round hole like in one of those childrens toys.. #anywya theres more context to this but its not really relevant when this is how its being shared n expressed whatever blows up

[elsolaer]

i have many thoughts in general but this tidbit from tingyun's voice lines is one of the things i wanna elaborate some more on at some point...

" Every time I head out, I leave a letter behind and lock it in the drawers of my shop. If I come back, then I'll burn it later. If I don't... then it'll be something for others to remember me by."

#OOC. #this post is more of a reminder to myself before i go try to write some stuff for nat and/or stelle #but idk i like her concept of being pacifistic despite the inherent dangers of her position as... basically a galactic ambassador? #it says that most reps take weapons with them but she refuses to because she believes that you should build relationships from a foundation #of peace instead of threat of violence #which has worked in her favor but idk its kinda sombering knowing that she basically leaves her last words in a letter every time sh #e leaves for another planet to do her job because she knows shes leaving herself vulnerable if somebody wanted to do something to hurt her #and she burns it every time she comes back only to rewrite it again months later when she goes on her next trip #xi.anzhou's lore is ROUGH dont get me wrong but theres a lot of fun concepts in there that im smashing together LMAO #also her traveling the way she does opens up so much room to meet literally anybody #its just jarilo-vi right now but as more worlds open up it just gives her more room to work with #also the fact that it opens up a lot of possiblities for world building for her to come to these planets because she's there ON business an #trade & commerce is one of the BIGGEST things a society needs. one decision could steer the entire direction of their society in a complete #y different direction #like even just introducing more leisurely/hobby focused products can be a huge turning point for a war stricken world #or better materials for their tech and their buildings #new crops in exchange for what they have #literally the exchange we see in her lore is her discussing taking just a few samples of a world's plants and growing it on xianzhou for #commercial sale AND that world would recieve shipments of said crops along with wahtever other deals they struck #and blablabla yes i know capitalism whatever. tis the way of the world and i think its really interesting frmo a worldbuilding standpoint #tingyuns a very interesting character because she can change a lot of things in very little time in the big picture #i feel like she's commonly brushed off as a shallow character who doesnt do much but she's one of the most accomplished characters in xian #zhou EASILY #yes you could argue that jing yuan is more because of his general shit or yukong is the helm master blablabla like Yes they are also very #accomplished but she is the literal only reason that the grand fairs are FAMOUS throughout the galaxy. they werent until she took leadershi #she's completed trade missions to SIXTEEN different panets and is implied to have formed alliances with at least a few of them #and was the one to renew xianzhou's mutual alliance with the IPC #i dunno #also i think people see her as way more of a trickster than she is #like ... i thought she was too but she really isn't particularly mischevious? girls tried to leave MULTIPLE times during the story bc she

[binary5tar]

I dunno what the general consensus is but imo

Between Us >>> Until We Meet Again

#mini tag rant #i had to force myself to get through uwma #dean is so goddamn boring and pharm is constantly crying and their relationship makes no sense #their dynamic is so forced through the whole soulmates thing and yhe show attempts to address it but theres not satisfactory way to do that #because both characters dont have enough personality to show they belong together #korn and in are only slightly better because in is less painfully shy so he at least seems like he actually wants to be with korn #maybe im just particularly annoyed and low key triggered with their dynamic when it comes to physical stuff #does pharm even want to have sex with dean... ever?? he doesnt have to want to except dean clearly thinks he does #he sets a deadline for when they have to have sex because he cant wait anymore and its so cringey in a very non con way #on the other hand team and win definately want to fuck and team is even an active participant and not just laying there #win has a very tropey personality with the charming but cold outside and sweet and soft for specific people #but like.... at least its a personality! lmao #i dunno maybe its just that the tropes in between us are just more to my taste than the ones in uwma #i also wonder if those 2 years between made a difference? it seems like bl dramas have changed a lot in the last 2-5 years