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ckret2 · 8 months

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Chapter 17 of Human Bill Causes Problems And Ruins Relationships On Purpose (title TBD), featuring: Mabel and Ford, not letting their relationship be ruined.

They're gonna be okay.

Also: weird donuts, cool crystals, and summer class.

####

Mabel was out of sight by the time Ford exited the shop—stupid, why hadn't he chased her the second he saw her run? He knew Mabel was fast. He circled the block calling her name—there was nowhere she could have gone, this mixed-use building was surrounded by residential houses—and then he hurried back to the parking garage, worst case scenarios tumbling through his head.

When he spied her leaning against the trunk of Stan's car, he heaved a sigh of relief. "Mabel! You shouldn't run off like that in a strange city. Anything could have happened."

Mabel tightened her crossed arms, glaring at her shoes. "I'm better at taking care of myself than you think."

Ford's shoulders slumped. He stood there useless, the silence thick between them, grappling for something to say to cut through it.

He never did well with these thick, awkward, choking moments—the moment before Stan left home, the moment after Fiddleford left the portal project, all the moments on the phone with his parents or with Shermie when he couldn't think of anything they'd be truly interested to hear about his life or any questions he truly wanted them to answer. He'd lost a lot of relationships in those moments. "Mabel—you're not in trouble, and I'm... I'm not mad at you."

"Being disappointed isn't better."

"I'm not disappointed, either. Just... concerned."

Wrong word. Mabel looked up at Ford with a dark, furious look that reminded him unnervingly of a look Bill had given him a few days ago. (He still hadn't learned to identify this as the hallmark gaze of the defiant teenager.) Then she glared at the ground again. "I wanna go home."

If he took her home, it would be an agonizing hour and a half silence—and what were the odds she'd just run to Bill and tell him he'd been "right," and he'd fill her head with more poison? It was far too late to forbid her from talking to him without exacerbating the situation. Ford could force her to stay right here in Portland until he'd talked to her—he had the keys, the driver's license, and almost fifty years' seniority—but if he did that, she'd tune out anything he said.

And she'd be right to. Who was he to her except the other uncle, the one who'd spent a year lavishing attention on her brother and only asked to spend time with her as a trap to give her a lecture?

He leaned on the car trunk next to her and looked down at the top of Mabel's head. She was wearing a headband studded with rhinestones and plastic ruby earrings. She'd dressed up for this. Ford swallowed hard. "Mabel, I'm an idiot."

She didn't say anything.

"I am. I'm a fool. I put all my skill points in intelligence and zero in charisma." He paused. "Which... that sentence probably makes self-evident." He cleared his throat. "I started out bad at socializing, and not interacting with humans for thirty years didn't make me any better. So I don't have any idea what I'm doing here. But... I asked you to come here with me because I really do want to spend more time with you; and because Bill hurt me, and I love you too much not to make sure you're protected against him doing the same to you."

He put a hand on her shoulder, and when she didn't tense up or pull away, he went on: "I think I tried to do too much in one trip, and it just made what should have been a fun time... awkward for you. But, if it helps, it's awkward for me, too. We can be awkward together. We're on the same side, I promise."

Mabel let out a loud, snotty sniff. "You... really do wanna hang out with me?" Quieter, she asked, "Not just Dipper?"

"Of course I do!" Ford said. "But I don't blame you for doubting me. I... know I've spent less time with you than with Dipper. I thought he needed me more. I'm sorry it took this to make me make time for you like I should have all along."

"Was... was there ever really a crystal store on the highway?"

"There was! I promise! I honestly don't know what happened to it! Maybe when I was coming from the airport Soos took a different exit than I thought? Or maybe a truck got between us and the sign as we were passing it and we didn't realize, but—"

He was getting off topic. The mystery of the crystal store wasn't what was important here. Reel in the puzzled scientist for a moment and be an uncle. "But—I swear Mabel, I didn't make up a story just to get you out here. I truly wanted to go to a crystal shop with you, hand on my heart." He put his hand on his heart. "That's a full finger more sincere than normal."

Mabel let out a choked giggle. She finally looked up at Ford, eyes red, cheeks tear streaked, but fighting to smile through her tears. "Grunkle Ford, I—" She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his sweater. "I'm not trying to ruin summer again, I promise! All I'm talking to Bill about is preschool cartoons and arts & crafts! Sure, he's—he's been nice since I helped him out, but—that doesn't mean I've forgotten who he is or what he can do..."

"Mabel, you didn't ruin last summer." Ford knelt down and hugged her back. "Bill did. Never forget that. I'm just trying to prevent him from doing it again."

Mabel nodded, unconvinced. "He couldn't have ruined it by himself."

"You're right. He couldn't. Which is why I was so wrong to keep the rift secret from everyone in the house but Dipper. I was trying to keep you safe, but you never would have fallen for his lies if I'd armed you with all the information you needed."

He leaned back from Mabel and patted his briefcase. "That's why I'm doing things properly this time! I'm prepared to educate you on every trick Bill has ever borrowed from the books of con artists, cult leaders, and serial manipulators. If you're going to talk to him, you'll know the rules of every mind game he plays before he starts playing them." He unzipped his briefcase and pulled out some of the research materials he'd assembled to prepare for this conversation. "I'm afraid even that might not be enough to fully protect you against his devious tricks, but if you keep your guard up and regularly check in with the rest of the family, then—"

Mabel looked in Ford's briefcase and exploded in a peal of laughter. "Grunkle Ford, are you making me go to school in the summer?! Gross!"

Ford blinked. If this was Dipper, he'd have been delighted at the educational opportunity. This just went to show how much he still needed to learn about Mabel, too. "Come now, Mabel. There's no greater defense against the shadowy forces of deception than the light of knowledge!"

Mabel laughed again. "You nerd!"

Ford grinned. "But, I'll try to make it fun, too."

"Okay, I'll take your psychology class. Bill-proof me! Arm me with knowledge!" She raised her arms like she was flexing her biceps.

"Great!" Ford rummaged through his briefcase. "I'll start with the broad strategies I've seen or heard of him using to isolate his victims, then narrow in on specific tactics he uses to steer conversations his way. First we'll go over the B.I.T.E. model of authoritarian control, and—"

Mabel put a hand on his shoulder. "How about we start with lunch?"

Ford paused, then let out a huff. "Yes, of course. We should eat."

They got in the car and went looking for a restaurant.

####

They had lunch at a burger place, and Ford told Mabel everything he could think of about how Bill operated—all guided by copious research notes.

To his relief, Mabel never got bored. Instead, she immediately related his lesson back to things she'd already seen Bill do: how easily he'd gotten her, Dipper, and Soos to do his job for him inside Stan's mind, or how he'd tried to turn Mabel and Dipper against each other during Mabel's puppet show. When she admitted what Bill had said to make her worry about talking to Ford, he confessed how Bill had turned him against Fiddleford—and how he'd done it with just a couple comments. All he'd had to say was that Fiddleford might not be committed enough to the portal project, might not be bold enough to finish, and Ford's mind had done the rest.

Ford hadn't even told Dipper about that part—instead, he'd just let Dipper read it in his journal. Ford had yet to so much as talk to Fiddleford himself about it. It was shameful to admit out loud; but less so when he knew he was talking to someone else who'd very nearly been fooled the same way—and that sharing his story might save her from repeating it.

They wrapped up lunch, moved to a nearby shop called Druid Donuts for dessert, and continued their conversation on one of the picnic tables outside. Mabel got a donut wizard with a pretzel stick wand and purple cream filling, and Ford tried out a donut with jelly beans on top. The jelly beans were kinda stale. He plucked them off and ate them anyway.

Mabel sighed, "Grunkle Ford, I'm so sorry I let Bill make me doubt you."

"Bill has that effect on people. When I had this same talk with Dipper, he tried to shoot me with the memory gun in case Bill was possessing me."

"Dipper never mentioned that!" Mabel laughed; but it quickly petered out as she remembered who had ultimately gotten memory gunned over Bill.

She gazed thoughtfully down at her wizard. (She'd eaten off one of his arms, half his robe, and licked out the purple cream filling.) "What made Bill so awful?"

"I sorely wish I knew," Ford said. "I spent half my life trying to find out where he came from, along with how to defeat him. All I ever learned is that he's from a two-dimensional realm—and he destroyed his dimension, friends and family included, for power."

Mabel's eyes widened.

"But... why? I still don't know. He told me he found his home 'restrictive'—but I imagine any limitations would feel restrictive to someone who's seeking omnipotence, so I have no idea what that truly means." Ford looked down at his donut. He'd plucked off all the jelly beans and sorted them into two piles on a napkin, one of regular beans and a smaller one with a few deformed ones. He popped a couple of beans in his mouth.

"It's weird," Mabel said. "It's like... I'm trying to hate him, but it's hard. It was easy last year! And I know who he is, and I know that all this"—she pointed at Ford's bag full of notes—"is going on in his head, but—when I talk to him, he just seems like... not a different person, but a—a normal person. I don't want to not give that person a chance just because he's Bill. You know? Does that make sense?" Mabel grimaced. "Or is that just how good he is at acting?"

Softly, Ford said, "I think it does make sense. Actually, even after everything he's done to me... since he's been locked up with us, I've—had a moment or two like that. I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I think it's a natural side effect of being in such close proximity to him."

Ford had been thinking a lot about his bizarre burst of compassion on the night Bill burned off his hair. He'd wondered if, maybe, putting a human face over Bill had made Ford see him as a new person. But that wasn't right. Like Mabel had said: Ford didn't see this human Bill as a different person, but rather...

Ford had obsessed over Bill for thirty years. He'd combed the multiverse for information about Bill's history, his state of existence, his potential weaknesses. But in all that time—in all that time, he hadn't once spoken with Bill.

He'd spent half a lifetime moving amongst people who saw Bill as a symbol, a legend, a cosmic force. He'd come to see Bill the same way. A threat, a target, an idea. He'd spent so many years picking a scant few hours of conversation with Bill to shreds that—he was now beginning to realize—he'd half convinced himself that Bill didn't actually have an identity beneath his lies.

It wasn't that seeing a human face made Ford forget that this person was Bill. It was that seeing a human face made Ford remember that Bill was a person. Ford had gotten so used to hating Bill the symbol; had he ever learned how to hate Bill the person? Or had he just let himself believe Bill wasn't a person at all?

Treating Bill like an idea rather than a person was useful enough when Bill was some distant foe. But now Bill was here. Ford couldn't let himself go soft just because Bill was capable of filling space in a window seat and tripping on the furniture and waking screaming from nightmares and regretting a stupid haircut.

Bill had been a person every other time Ford had tried to kill him, too. And that didn't change the fact that he needed to die.

And Mabel—who had so much less practice with hatred than Ford had—was struggling with the same thing.

"You want him to make sense," Ford said. "I understand that completely. Once we see somebody as a person, it's hard to see them as a monster, even if that's what they are. Our minds think monsters want to destroy the world, not play weird chess games. Seeing him as just a monster would be safer for everyone—but, as long as he's imprisoned and powerless, all he can do is be a person."

Mabel thought that over. "Yeah," she said. "You can hate somebody or you can get to know them, but you can't do both."

Ford could think of a few people he'd only hated more the better he got to know them, but he supposed Mabel was kinder than him. "More or less."

"How do you deal with it?"

"By avoiding him."

Mabel's gaze dropped back to her donut wizard. She ate his wand and other arm.

Ford took a deep breath. "Mabel... knowing everything you know now, do you still want to keep talking to him?"

Her neck sank down into her turtleneck. "Do I fail your class if I say yeah?"

Ford smiled sadly. Was she too kind for her own good, or—like Ford—too curious? "I thought you might say that," he said. "Follow-up question: are you prepared to be disappointed when he doesn't live up to your hopes? And I do mean 'when,' not 'if.' You're offering him a charity I don't think he's capable of reciprocating."

If she'd gotten angry, if she'd gotten defensive, he would have worried more. But she laughed and said, "Grunkle Ford, last summer I got my heart broken by like, sixteen boys. After that, I can handle finding out the evil demon triangle I'm trying to reform is still an evil demon. I'll be impressed if he ever gets an opportunity to kill one of us and doesn't take it."

Ford chuckled, relieved. "I think you deserve to hang out with people you can hold to higher standards than that."

"I do! But the other people I hang out with don't wanna watch the same shows as me. I don't think I can make you understand how important that is."

On the one hand, that struck Ford as a very thirteen-year-old priority. On the other hand... He winced. "Actually... for a while, he was the only person that would play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with me."

"WHAT! What kind of character did he play!"

"None. He always wanted to be the dungeon master," Ford said. "He ran very strange campaigns. And had a weird fascination with princesses with eyeballs for heads. And, in retrospect, it was probably a red flag when he decided to portray the God of Long Odds as a one-eyed golden triangle."

Mabel at least had the good grace to bite her lip instead of laughing at Ford.

"Well. I don't think you should want to talk to him. But, if you do... then you have a rare opportunity. Perhaps the first in multiversal history. Bill's our captive, he seems to trust you, he's motivated to make you trust him... I think if anyone's ever had a chance of finding out what made him like he is, it might be you. Perhaps you'll get your question answered."

"Grunkle Ford..." Mabel grinned slyly. "Are you saying that you want me to talk to him? Like, as a spy?"

Ford grimaced. "If I said that, that would make me a terrible uncle. I should be doing everything in my power to steer you away from him. I know that would be safer for everyone and healthier for you." He paused. "But. I can't control you. And as long as you've decided to talk to him anyway—I want to know everything you learn."

Mabel laughed. "You got it!"

"Final advice: don't trust anything he says, assume everything he does has an ulterior motive, and never agree to do anything he asks without twenty-four hours away from him to consider it. And keep talking to us—to me, to Dipper, to Stanley. He might fool one of us, but he can't fool all of us."

"Yeah!" Mabel raised a hand. "Pines power!"

"Pines power." Ford high-sixed her, then finished up his donut. "Well, I think this was very educational for both of us." He stood. "You've still got your $50. Want to go back to the crystal shop?"

####

They grabbed a big green box of donuts for the family and headed back to Lunar Blessings. While Mabel was agonizing over several fun-colored crystals, Ford wandered back toward the statue of Bill. He had to do something about this. "Excuse me." He waved down the shopkeeper. "Do you happen to know where this sculpture came from? The name of the artist, or...?"

She came over to study it. "I think we get all of these from a studio in the Bahamas, but I don't remember the artist off the top of my head. Why?"

He tried to think of a lie that sounded more realistic than the truth—maybe if he said he thought he recognized the art style and wanted to know if an old friend had made it, she'd be willing to dig up the artist's name?

He decided to go with a story that might get this thing off the shelf faster. "Because that particular depiction of the Eye of Providence is associated with a dangerous cult."

Her brows went up. "You're sure? It's a common symbol."

"Giving it eyelashes and a bow tie isn't. Trust me: either the artist is a cultist, or they got the design from somebody who is."

"Cult's a... pretty loaded word." (Ford grudgingly respected her for her wariness. She probably dealt with somebody calling something-or-other in this shop "cultish" on a daily basis.) "How do you know they're that bad?"

"Because once I got in, it took me thirty years to get out."

The shopkeeper's demeanor changed immediately. "Oh," she said. "I'm sorry. We get these in bulk with a lot of other sculptures, I thought it was just some obscure... Are these people dangerous, or—?"

"Not as much as they used to be, I don't think. Their founder's incarcerated. But... the kind of people who'd be eager to buy this probably aren't the people you want to sell to."

As she eyed the sculpture skeptically—probably deciding whether she found this stranger's story credible enough to warrant taking merch off her shelves—Ford asked, "Do you think you could find the artist? With the founder gone, I... I've been wondering how his other victims are faring." There wasn't much point in pushing further to remove the item. He'd given the shopkeeper enough to think about, and he doubted one more statue on one more shelf would really do any harm while Bill couldn't use its eye.

She hesitated, then nodded. "I'll check our records. If we don't have it, you can give me your contact info and I'll let you know when I find out."

"Thank you." What would Ford say if he did meet another of Bill's victims? He'd known a few, very distantly, thirty years ago; Bill had told him who he could go to to get art, much like the sculpture in this store. Back then, he'd felt like he was in a secret society—a real secret society with real secrets, not like the corny social club styling itself a "secret society" he'd joined in college—with the double secret that none of the other members knew that Ford was the society president's favorite. In retrospect, they'd probably thought they were Bill's favorites, too.

He supposed he'd find out if he ever met the artist.

####

Mabel found a little pink cat figurine, a string of small nazar eye beads she thought would be great for crafts, an extremely small crystal naturally colored like a watermelon slice, and a bracelet made out of tiny colorful rock chips arranged in a rainbow. The shopkeeper wasn't able to find the artist's name before they left; but Ford left his name, address, and the shack's number on a piece of receipt paper so she could contact him if she found out more.

As they were leaving, Ford said to Mabel, "You know... if you still like those glass pyramids, I think there's a couple in my study that escaped the purge. You could have one."

"Really? You're sure? You don't have to..."

"I'm sure. They're not magical or dangerous—and I think I'd like for one of them to get new, better associations. Just, keep it in a room where Bill can't get his hands on it," Ford said. "But if he does see it... make up a story about it that will drive him crazy."

Mabel considered that. And then a wicked smile twisted up her face.

####

"Okay, your turn," Mabel said. She was slouched down in her seat with her feet up on the car's dashboard. "Befriend, betray, or betroth: Carl Sagan, the Queen of England, and... a wizard."

Ford sucked in a breath. "Ooh, that's tough." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Describe the wizard."

"Greatest wizard of all time! And his beard is like, ten feet long."

Ford pursed his lips as he thought. "Marry the wizard," he said. "As much as I admire Carl's mind, he freely shares his knowledge with the public. Wizards are far more reclusive. Marriage may be my only way to learn his secrets."

"The queen isn't even on the table?"

"I've been a king before, Mabel. Too many social obligations for me," Ford said. "I suppose I'll have to befriend the queen. I can't afford to make any more powerful enemies. Anyway, it could give me an opportunity to ask about some of the legends surrounding Buckingham Palace."

"So you'd betray...?"

Ford frowned deeply. "This game is vicious."

Mabel laughed. "I won't tell him!"

"I appreciate it," Ford said. "All right, your turn. Befriend, betray, or betroth: a president, a movie star, and an astronaut."

Mabel paused. Mabel thought about the guy on the $10 bill—who, she was sure, was definitely a president, or else they wouldn't have put him on a bill. Mabel said, "Which president?"

He'd meant the concept of a president, but. "Uh..."

Mabel gasped and sat up straight. "Grunkle Ford, look!" She pointed out the driver's side window.

"Wh—?" Ford gaped as they drove past a tall pole topped with a gray sign. The sign read, "OCCULTED CRYSTALS". Beneath the words was a glass window shaped like a cut diamond.

"Is that—?"

"That's it!" Ford swerved into the exit lane. "You're not getting away this time, you sonofagun!"

"I've still got like two dollars! Let's do this!"

They celebrated and congratulated each other as they descended onto the frontage road and made a U-turn under the highway.

On the other side, there was no trace of the sign. All they found was a strip of five nondescript whitewashed storefronts, all out of business, with a narrow weed-filled parking lot in front.

Mabel and Ford exchanged a baffled look.

Ford pulled into the empty parking lot and stepped out of the car. "It was here, wasn't it?" he asked. "It can't have been farther back than this." He squinted to the west, shielding his eyes with his hand. No signs that way, and no trees or buildings tall enough to be hiding one.

"Maybe it's a time travel thing!" Mabel jumped out of the car and ran to the abandoned stores, peering through the windows one at a time to see if any looked like a former crystal shop.

Ford glanced warily at a concrete block along the edge of the parking lot that looked like it might once have supported a pole. "Hmm."

Eventually, when they couldn't find anything, they slunk back into the car, got on the frontage road, took the next U-turn, and got back on the highway.

The diamond-windowed Occulted Crystals sign taunted them from the horizon.

They stared dumbly at it.

Mabel pulled out her phone and snapped a picture.

"What are you?" Ford asked the sign. "Is it invisible on its other side?"

Mabel turned in her seat and peered through the back window as they passed it. "Still visible!"

"Then can it only be seen if you're traveling east on the highway?" Ford mused. "But you'd have to be westbound to take an exit that reaches that location. It's impossible to access."

"What if you're traveling west but you drive the car backwards!"

Ford mulled over that. "For starters, we'd probably get pulled over." Ford glanced down at the car's clock. "It's getting late, too. We can't procrastinate anymore if we want to be home in time for dinner."

The sign had disappeared behind them. Mabel turned back around and settled in her seat. "I think this calls for a follow-up investigation later, don't you?"

Ford grinned. "I had the exact same thought."

####

"... And that's how we realized it wasn't Louisa who had slashed Sarah's tires," Abuelita said, "it was Arthur! Can you believe it? Arthur!" She turned away from the stove to look at Bill, eyebrows raised, making sure he fully appreciated this twist.

Sitting backwards on one of the kitchen chairs, he shrugged. "I can't blame him. Every man has his limit. And Sarah's been pushing his for weeks." He took a swig from a bottle of spoiled grape juice.

"Stop drinking my cooking wine," Abuelita said. "Sure, but Arthur's so passive! I thought he'd have a nervous breakdown long before he ever took action! Anyway, things just haven't been the same since he got arrested."

Bill shook his head sympathetically. "I tell you. This town's bingo hall is really going to the dogs."

The front door swung open, and Mabel's voice drifted in: "Betroth the vampire, of course. And—is it possible to betray a zombie? Do they understand loyalty? When Soos got turned..."

Bill perked up, set the juice bottle on the kitchen table, and got to his feet, immediately drawn to a more rewarding distraction. "I'll get out of your hair," he told Abuelita, and switched to English. "Hey, Shooting Star and Sixer!" He leaned against the kitchen doorway. "How were the crystals?"

"Great! I got a watermelon rock and a cat and some beads and the coolest bracelet!" She raised her hand and twisted it back and forth, making the rock chips click together. "And donuts!" She shoved a big green open box in Bill's face. "You're allowed to take one. Only one."

He grabbed the yellowest one he saw and bit in. "Huh. Piña colada. Weird." He took another bite and leaned around the open box lid to look at Mabel. "So. Did you two have fun?"

"Yes! It was a blast!" Mabel gushed. "We got lunch in Portland, and we talked foreverrr, and we've got more in common than I ever imagined, and we're gonna make more trips to Portland soon! I think it really brought us closer together."

"Huh." Bill's gaze flicked up to Ford. "How about that." Ford's face betrayed nothing. Bill looked back at Mabel and grinned wider. "Glad he's less of a killjoy than I thought."

"Pffft! You know he knows how to have fun," Mabel said. "Mr. God of Long Odds."

Bill's eyebrows shot up.

Mabel squeezed past Bill into the kitchen. "Abuelita, if you want a donut, I'm putting them in the bottom left cabinet with the pots."

"Thank you, Mabel."

"I'm taking Ford to the record store to introduce him to late 80's music," Mabel went on. "And we saw a crystal shop that isn't there depending on which way you're driving! Whaaat! Crazy, right!"

"Oh, you found Occulted Crystals?" Now Bill's grin was aimed at Ford. "I know you didn't get that bracelet there. Didn't figure out how to get in?" He winked. "Do you want to?"

Ford's expression darkened; but before he could say anything, Mabel darted back into the entryway. "No! No spoilers! You'll ruin the fun of figuring it out!"

Bill laughed. "Okay, fine! Just one safety tip: never go looking for it on an empty stomach."

Mabel gave him a distrustful look. "Will that help us get in?"

"It'll help you get back out."

She nodded slowly. "Good to know." She hugged Ford. "I'll be right back! I haven't been to the bathroom since lunch." She bounded upstairs.

Leaving Ford with Bill.

Bill simply smiled. "You talked about DD&MD? That takes me back."

"I know what you're up to, you snake," Ford said. "And it's not going to work. At least leave her out of it."

"Hey, you can't blame me for worrying about her," Bill said. "She's such a caring little thing. And you don't have a strong history of family loyalty."

Ford's hands curled into fists; but he forced himself to turn away from Bill without acknowledging him, and headed for his and Stan's guest room.

"But hey," Bill called after him. "I really am thrilled to see you two getting along so well."

Nothing in Bill's tone sounded sarcastic. Ford paused and glanced back at him suspiciously; but then he shook his head and kept going.

Bill's smile faded. He made a rude gesture at Ford's back; then returned to his post at the kitchen table to listen to Abuelita's gossip and make sure she didn't touch the poison.

####

(Thank y'all for not pulling out the pitchforks at the end of last chapter lol. If you enjoyed, I'd appreciate a comment or reblog! Thanks! 💕)

#mabel pines #grunkle ford #(for the art)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #(for the fic)#gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #bill goldilocks cipher

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obsidiancreates · 1 year

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The Algae Is Always Greener On The Other Side (Part 1)

(Just finished the Rise series and movie, almost done with 2012 season 3, I NEEDED TO MAKE THIS! It's 4,500+ words long and it's taken me hours to write this, and I am so tired and have work tomorrow, so if there's typos I'm sorry but they can't be helped. Starting with 2012 Episode 1, next part will be 2012 Episode 2, then we'll do Rise Episode 1. Rise Boys and 2012 Boys, plus Splinters and Aprils, are all trapped watching their respective shows with each other)

"Ugh... what the..." Raph puts his hand to his head, slowly opening his eyes. "Oh, not this again, where're we now?"

"At least we're all in the same room this time," Donnie grunts, pushing himself up. He gasps quietly. "Or... the same... somewhere."

It's not really a room, per say. Just a... space. It's not a blank void, but it's not anything recognizable. It's almost incomprehensible, except for a few things.

There's a rug beneath them. It has the Hamato Clan symbol on it. There's a large TV in front of them. There's a big couch. And they're very much not alone.

Splinter rises to his feet, wincing and holding his own head. Leo gets up a second later, sees his Sensei struggling, and moves to support him. April groans from her spot on the rug, and Donnie rushes to help her stand.

None of them touch the... other, group.

The big one gets up first. "Okay... who poisoned us this time?"

"That was once."

"Once is too many times, Donnie!"

"Raph, shhhh, my head is full of bees."

April blinks. "Are those-"

"At least it's not the '87 ones again," Donnie mumbles. "But, but how did we all-"

"OHMIGOSH!" The other Mikey suddenly gets into Donnie's face, and boy does it hurt his eyes, because somehow this alternate is still 2D and it's even less comprehensible than their surroundings. If it gets any worse he might succumb to eldritch maddness. "Are you guys... us?!"

"Most likely." Donnie scoots away. "Let me guess. Mikey?"

"YES! I can't believe it! Why do you look so weird?"

"We look weird?" Raph growls and stalks closer to Other Mikey. "You're the ones who're cartoons!"

"Ahem." Big Raph picks Little Raph up by his shell. "Hey, let's not get off on the wrong foot here, okay? Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Raph."

"I'm Raph."

"Okay... uh... is that a problem for you?"

"Raph, don't-" Leo is cut off by Little Raph crossing his arms.

"Yes, it is."

"Okay, uh. I'll be... um..."

"RAPHIE!" Other Leo jumps up on Raphie's back. "Oh, we're so getting the other us to call you Raphie!"

"Fine. Then you're Leon."

"These are just nicknames we already have." Other Donnie dusts himself off. "I shall be... Othello Von Ryan!"

Raph snorts. "yeah, I'm not calling you that."

"He can be Donald." Leon smirks at him.

"Fine! Then Mikey is Angelo!"

"Works for me!"

"Our Splinter gets to stay Splinter," Leo demands.

"Okay." The human girl with them shrugs. "Ours is usually Splints, anyway. I, though, am not changing my name! I am... APRILLLL O'NEIL!" She strikes a pose with her bat.

"What if you go by your full name, and I just go by our first, then?"

"alright, I can get beh- wait. You're me? I got whitewashed? In the year of our lord 2022?"

"Um... for us it's 2012- no, wait, 20... 13? No..."

"It does not matter." Splinter looks around. "Why are we here?"

"Who cares? This TV is the screen of my dreams!" Splints leaps into the couch. "Hehehe, now where is my remote? I want to watch-"

The TV flickers to life, making everyone draw their weapons. Thumping hip-hop music begins to play as the screen shows shots of a dim New York city. It zooms in on a manhole cover, and transitions to sewer pipes.

"Hey! I did not pick this!"

"Wait... that looks like..." Donnie sits down as well. The screen shows a shot of a dojo from the outside, and then Raph's face takes up the screen.

"It's us!" Mikey hops onto the couch, and Angelo plops down right next to him. "Dudes, we're a TV show! Check us outtttt!"

"You guys look so serious." April O'Neil laughs a little as she sits. "Is that just life for you?"

"You have no idea," Leo grumbles.

The training session begins, and Leo is shown running at Mikey. Mikey defends, grinning and bragging as they spar. Angelo's eyes shine as he watches the way Mikey uses his nunchucks.

"Whoa... are you doing that without mystic powers?!"

"Um, yeah? WAIT! Do you have mystic powers?!"

"I sure do!"

"AWESOME!"

"Sheesh, but that Me is lame." Leon kicks his feet up. "The fighting is coo but where are the jokes? The snappy one-liners? The taunts?"

"Just wait," Raph says with a grin. "Trust me, we can't get him to shut up with those sometimes."

"Hey!"

Raphie frowns as Screen Leo hits Mikey in the gut hard enough for Mikey to go down. "Wait, are you guys training there?"

"Yeah. Why? Do you train differently?"

"We usually try not to knock each other out. ... Usually."

Raph eyes his counterpart. "You and I are very different people."

"Is it bad to ask about the voice?" Leon leans over to Leo. "Because you do not have that voice the TV has."

"I got throat damage."

"Riiiight. And... how do throats work in your world?"

"Nardo, hush!" Donald leans forward. "My counterpart is now onscre- what is that? Why-why is your staff made of wood? I have used one and it worked fine, but that was with mystic powers."

"Oooooh, spinny..." Angelo is transfixed as Screen Donnie spins his bo like there's no tomorrow before attacking.

"Trust me, I've tried other weapons." Donnie shrugs. "It's just, familiar and reliable. Plus I uh, add a blade to it sometime after this, since this is pretty clearly the day we were first allowed to go to the surface."

The TV pauses as all of the other more colorful turtles and non-turtles slowly turn to look at them.

"Your first day up there?" Leon's face scrunches. "And... how old are you in this?"

"Fifteen."

Splints leaps to his feet. "You were not allowed on the surface until you were fifteen?! What did you do until then?!"

"Uh, this." Leo gestures at the TV. "And watched shows, too, and read comics!"

"And that's... it?" Raphie looks sick. He looks at Splinter. "Why'd you do that?"

"You will see soon." Splinter sighs. "Perhaps our worlds are very different, if you think it was not needed to hide away."

"Oh, we hid," Splints says. "But I would never force my sons to experience so little in life!"

"You were pretty absent to stop us for a long time, to be fair," Donald chimes in.

"Wha- I was trying not to smother you!"

"We love you anyway, Pops," Angelo says while hugging his father. "But yeah, you didn't pay enough attention to stop us usually."

"By the way, this might be a bad time to mention it, but um, your Splinter sounds like our Shredder. You guys have one of those, right?"

Splinter's eyes go wide. "I- I share a voice with your Oruko Saki?"

"... Okay, so you do..."

"Leon." April moves her hand across her neck.

"What? I'm just saying he- ooooh he's having a panic attack. ... My bad."

Raph growls at Leon. "Well you know what? Your Splinter sounds like an assassin who tries to kill us all the time!"

"What?" Splints looks at the screen again. "But how-"

"Yeah, well, your me sounds like if we gave one of our Foot Enemies a lozenge!" Donald chimes in, backing up his Leon.

"Well you sound like you only eat plain noodles all the time!" Mikey shouts, jumping to his feet.

"You sound like my robot son Shelldon if he was a jerk!"

"HEY, NOBODY TALKS TO MIKEY LIKE THAT BUT ME-"

"ENOUGH!" Splinter rises to his feet, and all of the more colorful group flinch away as memories hit them. He sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Enough. Perhaps, this is why we are here. To help heal some wounds those we share similarities with across worlds have caused. But we will never now if we do not allow this to finish running it's course."

"Fine." Splinters crosses his arms and gets back on the couch. "But I will think you deprived your sons of important experiences."

"I sometimes do as well. But you will see why I had no choice."

The show resumes, and they watch Donnie and Raph spar. Donald leans over and whispers to Donnie, "Is that staff spinning a stim?"

"How did you-"

"You're also on the spectrum?"

"I haven't even told my brothers-"

"Shhhhh. It's okay. I may find you strange and offputting, but we have solidarity in this." he moves back to his seat, slowly, with a slide whistle sound, because he's a 2D cartoon.

"Onegai Shimasu."

"Wait wait wait, you speak Japanese?!" Leon looks over at Leo in amazement. "Did your Splinter actually teach you Japanese?!"

"Yours didn't?"

"We live in the New York sewers! Understanding Japanese was always lower on the list than 'Reading signs that say you will die' and 'This is how you scream for help'!"

The training goes on, and Angelo slowly comes to frown. "Heyyy... why are Mikey and Donnie left out of the fighting?"

"We lost. That's how it goes, bros." Mikey shrugs.

"Well then, how do you learn to work as a team?"

The more muted colored turtles all share looks, and Leo coughs. "We're... constantly improving our teamwork."

"We still suck at it," Raph says bluntly.

Raphie frowns harder as he watches his other self take pride in hurting Leo and then brag about being better. "So... I'm guessing you're not the oldest of your family."

"Nope."

"And you're definitely not the one who protects them all the time."

"Actually, he kinda does. And also beats us up. He does both. ... Bilingual!"

Donnie smacks his face with a groans. "Not what that means, Mikey."

Training ends with Splinter giggling mischievously, and Splints finds himself giggling in a not dissimilar fashion.

And then...

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Turtles! Heros in a half shell, turtle power! Here we go it's the lean green ninja team-

"Oh, whoa, dudes! This rocks!" Mikey jumps up and starts dancing, and the entire colorful clan follows.

Leonardo's! The leader in blue, does anything it take to get his ninjas through!

"Wait, you're already the leader?" Leon gapes. "No wonder you're so not-quippy, you're like Raph but more willing to fight us!"

Donatello is a fellow, has a way with machines!

"That's all I get?!" Donnie stands up and points at the screen accusingly. "I do chemistry, bio-chemistry, hacking, half of our planning-"

"I think the lyric is fine." Donald crosses his arms.

Raphael's got the most attitude on the team!

All eyes turn now to Raphie, who seems to be trying to make himself smaller and sweating under all the attention.

"Raph has the most attitude?" Angelo says slowly in disbelief.

"Wow... we drew the best Raph card, didn't we?" Leon pats his older brother on the shoulder. "Thank you for not being giant and temperamental, bossman."

"Can you imagine if our Raph was huge like that?" Mikey whispers to April.

"No... good thing he's small."

"I can hear you, and being short has it's advantages you know!"

Michelangelo! He's one of a kind, and you know just where to find him when it's party time!

"Heck yeah you do, dudes!" Mikey does a spin move on his shell. "Whoo! Party guy, right here!"

"Wow!" Angelo jumps in, trying to copy the moves as exactly as he can.

"STOP!" Donald suddenly goes completely still staring at the screen in... horror. "Are those..."

Leo on the screen cuts two robots in half... and pink brain creatures pop out.

"The Kraang." Leo shrugs. "They were tough at first, but-"

"They're... tiny." Leon is staring as well, stiff as a board and gripping his katanas so tight his green knuckles turn white. "They... they're tiny? And you can cut their suits in half?"

"Yes. ... Why? What are yours-"

"Not tiny." Raph reaches up and covers his eye.

The energy in the room shifts to something... stifling. April shudders, feeling the cold terror and rage and jealousy swirl through her own spirit.

"I don't know if we can watch this," Splints mutters. "My sons, are you..."

"They're easy to beat?" Leon breaths out.

"... For the most part," Leo says softly. "We struggle here at first."

"Do any of you get... do they..."

"... One grabs my face after the first fight," Mikey says, sitting down slowly. April holds her head as the terror increases. "But I get it off really fast!"

"They're basically jokes," Raph says, uncrossing hsi arms and leaning forward. "They talk stupid, and once they're out of those suits they can't do anything. If yours could even speak outside of those suits, they could do more than ours can."

"... Okay." Leon sits back down. "Okay. We can... we can do this guys, right? It's... it's just like making fun of the villains when we're fighting them. Make them little, and they can't hurt us as bad."

"... Right." Angelo sits back down, clinging to Raphie's arm. The rest of the family does the same, Raphie and Leo becoming squished into the center of the huddle.

The other group doesn't ask. It feels... private. The show resumes.

It shows a pile of algae and worms, and Mikey gags. "I can't believe we used to eat that every day."

"You ate that every day?!" Leon, still pale but seemingly comforted by his protective wall of family, gags as well.

"For fifteen long, long years," Donnie says sadly, wincing as he recalls the feeling of worms in his mouth.

"What's the frosting made out of?" "You don't wanna know."

"Mikey?" Angelo looks at him with wide, sad eyes. "Do you not know how to cook real food?"

"Uh, I can blend pizza into a milkshake."

"If we can see each other again when we're out of this weird place, I'm teaching you how to cook. For real."

"Awesome!"

"HAPPY MUTATION DAY!"

"Ooooh, everyone hush now," Donald says, waving a hand. "Origin story time, I love these."

Splints watches, arms crossed, growling. "You just stumbled into it?! I was kidnapped by my girlfriend, and then kidnapped again by my new co-parent and former enemy, and then had to rescue my sons from being turned into weapons against humanity!"

Now the muted colors clan turns to stare.

"Don't worry, that guy is good now!" Angelo says brightly. "He's a lunchperson!"

"You let the genocide-hungry madman work around human children?!" Raph shouts.

"He reformed!" Angelo protests. "He's our other dad now!"

"You guys are messed up!" Raph crosses his arms again and turns to scowl at the TV.

"Go no further! This place is a place where you are not allowed to be in this place! We have been seen in this place by you, so this is not a place that will be left by you!"

The colorful clan's jaws drop.

"Is that... how your Krang talk?" Leon breathes.

"All. The. Time!" Mikey groans in irritation. "It's the worst!"

"I think we'll be okay watching this after all," April O'Neil says with a grin. "Because these guys are nothin'!"

"Wait, you kept the canister?!" Splints laughs. "That- you kept it! That is such a bad memento!"

They watch Splinter speak in riddles about if the turtles are allowed to go to the surface or not. Eventually they break out the Sad Eyes, and he allows them to go up.

"Ha, not as tough as you pretend, huh Little Raph?" April O'Neil smirks.

"If it gets the job done it gets done, I'm not ashamed of that."

"Cuteness powers," Angelo whispers, fistbumping Mikey.

"Whoaaa, that cartoon looks like a Jupiter Jim ripoff!" Leon's eyes sparkle. "I gotta watch all of it, right now!"

"Do you mean that? Because I have all of the VHS tapes!"

"Ugh, VHS tapes? Why do you guys live in the ancient times?"

"More importantly, why are you all in a void doing random fighting moves and poses?" Donald points at the screen.

Donnie shrugs. "How should we know? To us we were just practicing a little extra before going up. It's a TV show, it's not going to represent everything perfectly exact."

They watch Splinter give cliché parental advice, and Splint's expression softens. No matter the world, no matter how absent he can sometimes be, he always wants his boys to be safe.

They watch the turtles climb out of the sewers for the first time, and Leon frowns. "Uh... guys? Why is your New York so... empty?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Um, because it's the city that never sleeps?"

"... What?"

"Your New York is terrible," April O'Neil declares.

They watch Donnie freak out over some computers, and Mikey freak out over some neon lights. Then they see a pizza boy ride up, and Raph scare him.

"The one single living human in your entire New York, and you scared him!" Leon shakes his head. "Who knows when you'll see anyone again in that empty wasteland?!"

"Soon, trust us," Donnie says.

And then they watch the very first time the turtles try pizza.

"You poor, poor souls," Raphie sniffles, genuinely tearing up at how they're frightened of the delicious food at first. "How'd you even survive?!" His family all nod with him, also all tearing up.

"Dudes, I ask myself that same question all the time," Mikey says solemnly."

But the tears disappear as soon as the next shot comes, of them running with their arms sticking straight out behind them. Leon, Donald, Mikey, Raphie, and April all react by choking like they were just gut-punched.

"Are you... Naruto running?" Donald whispers. Is it horror? Awe? Confusion? None can tell.

"What's... Naruto?" Donnie and the others all look lost.

"Ohmigosh," Angelo whispers. "They don't even know."

"This is so funny and so, so sad," Leon says.

"The music is cool, at least," Raphie says, trying so hard not to laugh.

"Guys! Look at that!"

It pans down to a girl and her father-

"AHH!" Donnie hurries to cover April's eyes and ears. "No, uh, haha! This didn't happen, stupid TV show, getting things wrong-"

The colorful clan stares in horror as it zooms in on April, romantic music playing, and then back to Donnie surrounded by hearts and drooling...

"I'm going to be sick," Donald gags. "I- hurk-" He retches over the back of the couch, and April O'Neil stares at Donnie in horror.

"IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!" Donnie pops his entire body into his shell, steam of embarrassment and mortification rising out. From within comes his echoey protest of "I DON'T EVEN FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE!"

They watch April and her father clearly about to be kidnapped, and Donnie say to save her while Leo says they were told not to.

"What kind of heartless not-hero are you?!" Raphie exclaims.

"It was our first time ever on the surface! Excuse me for being a little afraid to get into a fight!"

"I thought you wanted to be a hero! Since when do heroes ask for permission?"

"Yeah, you said it, Tiny Me!" Raphie holds out his fist for a bump. With a moment of hesitation, Raph obliges. His fist is tiny as it doinks against Raphie's larger, spikier one, but they both smile afterwards.

Screen Donnie jumps right down to help, and Donald scoffs. "First into battle and you don't even have tech? I don't know if that foolish or brave, no I'm lying it's foolish."

"It was, but I just knew I couldn't let April be kidnapped."

The guys throw her into the back of a van, and Raph is the first to engage with the creepy clearly-not-human men. They watch the absolute disaster of a fight as everyone gets in each other's way. Even with impressive individual skills, they just aren't a team.

"Don't feel too bad," Raphie says as all of the turtles looks away from the screen in shame. "Our first fight was also a disaster."

"Majorly so," Leon agrees. "We got our butts whooped."

They watch Donnie knock a bad guy away, causing April to almost fall. He grabs her and smiles, and she screams! It makes Donnie scream back, dropping her and flinching away!

"Sorry about that, by the way," April says, patting Donnie's hand. "It was just a lot to process in the moment."

"No, no, it's... fine." Donnie pulls his hand away, looks at his three fingers with... some mix of repulsion and a form of grief. "If I were human, I'd scream too."

The colorful clan all frown and narrow their eyes. Angelo stands up. "Dr. Feelings in session."

"What does that-"

Angelo grabs Donnie by the shoulders. "You know you aren't lesser than a human, don't you? We're unique and different, but that doesn't make us anything bad or to be ashamed of. You're an awesome ninja who's first instinct was to save the girl in danger, you're a good person and that's what counts!"

Donnie stares, mouth agape, unable to respond. April giggles, and puts her arm around him.

"He's right, Donnie. Human or not, you're my best friend, and I'm glad to know you."

"B-but-"

"Shush shush shush, sit on it, think about it, let it heal you." Angelo sits back down, earning a fistbump from Donald and Leon.

The fight continues to go badly for them, and April is taken away. Mikey is left alone, with one of the creepy men.

"This is the part, dudes! Once we get into the alley the Kraang pops out! Get ready!"

With narrowed eyes and tense body language, the colorful clan watch. Screen Mikey lashes out with his weapon, and cuts half the face off of the man.

"HOLY HOT SOUP!!!" The entire colorful clan shoot up out of their seats, striken with shock!!!

"YOU CUT A MAN'S FACE OFF!" Angelo screams!

"It was a robot, look!"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!"

"Neither did we!" Raph looks at Mikey. "Dude, what the heck happened?!"

"I panicked, alright?! Just- whatever, I never did it again!"

Finally, it happens. The Kraang pops out and latches onto Mikey's face, as humorous music plays.

Raphie can't watch, nor can his brothers, but April O'Neil and Splints can. They both shudder in disgust.

Mikey runs out ad tries to tell his brothers what happened, but in his panic he doesn't say the right words immediately, and after that they spend the whole time assuming he's delusional or stupid or just lying.

"You guys are so mean!" Raphie pulls Mikey over to the colorful huddle. "Why would you assume the worst?! And why would the leader slap someone who's panicking?!"

"Look, I admit with hindsight we... didn't react very well here. But we were just tired and annoyed after losing the fight!"

"Not an excuse!" Raphie squeezes Mikey in a hug, making Mikey's eyes big out and knocking the wind out of him. "He's your brother!"

"Don't any of you lie or make things up sometimes and ruin your trust?" Raph growls.

All eyes turn to Donald and Leon.

"Whaaaaat?" Leon chuckles, sweating. "I don't-"

"We're both the evil twin, but I am eviler," Donald says.

Back in the sewer, they watch Splinter scold the team, and the team begin to fight with each other.

"You guys really do suck as a team," Raphie mutters.

"We've gotten better since then," Mikey wheezes.

"Oh, well that's good to- oh my gosh! Have I been crushing you this whole time?!"

"It was kinda nice though."

Screen Splinter takes responsibility for having failed to train them as a team, and says it'll be another year before they try again. Donnie protests, insisting they help the family.

"So you're the heroics-obsessed one in your universe?" Donald looks incredulously at his counterpart.

"No! ... Not-not always! ... M-maybe, sometimes, look most of the time if I don't do something, no-one else will!"

"I feel that," Raphie says, now holding his hand out for a bump from Donnie. Donnie gives him one, while glaring and fuming at Donald.

They watch Splinter consider the words, and look at a photo of himself, a woman, and a baby. Splints gasps.

"You had a family before the boys?"

"... I did." Splinter looks away.

"Why are they with you down there?" Leon asks. Angelo shakes his head.

"Fire sounds," Angelo mouths. Leon blinks, and then looks at Splinter with sympathy.

Splinter appoints Leo the leader, and Raph gets angry.

"It turned out to be the right choice," Raph grumps.

They explain the plan to Mikey, apparently something they did many times before then. While it irritates the others, Mikey remains peppy. It then turns into a slow montage of Donnie and Mikey trying to pass the time. They play paper football, Mikey naps while Donnie tries to jumprope and does poorly at it, and they play I Spy.

"Okay, I'm thinking of something green. Ga-reen, ga-reen!" "...Is it Raphael again?"

"Whoa, what was with the first name use?" Leon calls out.

"And why do you sound so tired?" April O'Neil looks worried. "How many times did Mikey pick Raph?"

"I don't even know. The hours blurred together into sludge," Donnie groans.

"What else would Mikey pick, in that empty nothingness they pretend is New York city? What a complete lack of town," Donald says.

Raph complains about how the villains will never show up, and then they immediately show up. Leo quotes Space Heroes, but everyone else is already down there. He follows, and the turtles surround a man.

"Did Donnie just punch a fist into his open hand?" Leon says, drawing out the words. "Like a schoolyard bully?"

"I was trying to be intimidating!"

"Aim a gun at him."

"I don't have guns!"

"Do you have robots with guns?"

"No! Well, Metalhead had a flamethrower, but... I-I haven't... rebuilt him. ... Yet."

All of the screen turtles try to intimidate the man, and he responds by... firing a gun at them.

"See? I told you."

"Shut it, Donald."

The chase goes about as well as the first right, with Raph being smashed into a building and the man almost getting away if not for Leo throwing a well-aimed (or just very lucky) shuriken. The van crashes, and they surround it. When they open the door...

A canister rolls out.

The glowing blue-and-green liquid makes an odd sound as it rolls to Mikey's feet. He stares at it for a second, and then- "Mom?!"

A sting plays, and the episode ends with a grayscale still.

"Oh, what?!" Donald grabs his head in frustration. "I hate cliffhangers!"

"But... are we supposed to be surprised that the weird robot Krang guys are the same ones? They kind of laid that out for us at the start," Leon says.

Angelo shakes his head. "I think it's supposed to be building the mystery, getting us invested!"

"Well, I certainly am." Splints leans back in his seat. "If only we had snacks!"

Suddenly, several fresh pizzas appear.

"Well, an eating break won't hurt anyone," Raphie says, rubbing his hands together."

"Let me check for poisons," both Donnie and Donald say at the same time.

"I hate that that's what we have most in common so far," Angelo sighs.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #tmnt crossover #tmnt fic #tmnt fanfiction #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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darlingpwease · 2 years

Text

content warnings: subfemreader, baby trapping / forced pregnancy + mention of abortion, yandere (manipulation, dub-con/non-con/rape), breeding, mention of mind break + mating season + delusional thinking, huge essay, talk about "real" yandere

hate hate hate, I will soon be able to decant poison like a snake and sell it

I do not advise anyone to read it

as much as I love breeding and talking about pregnancy, I hate baby trapping. I hate it so much.

I love that I don't see it in dom reader (although I'm probably just looking for it badly), but lately for some reason every second dark / yandere subfemreader fic is exactly it.

maybe I'm just vanilla, but I really don't understand how you can enjoy the idea of this — regardless of who the victim is. like, it's pointless.

mind break with the idea of getting pregnant — yes. changing consciousness so that the victim wants to get pregnant — yes. the mating season, when they are not in a sufficiently adequate condition to understand — yes. creating a situation where pregnancy is necessary — yes.

but baby trapping? it's just disgusting. I never thought that I would have a huge breaker, but recently realized that it is. this is it. I'm even calmer about non-con or rape than I am about this. especially when it's presented as "they're trying to tie you down." no. manipulation, holding against the will, threats, blackmail — I can understand these are attempts to keep control.

but why pregnancy, especially when a male is doing it? what's stopping the reader from just, you know... getting rid of the baby, especially when they're still pregnant and especially when they're short-term?

besides, imagine that you are yandere (!not an asshole, but "very much in love"!), who forcibly made someone pregnant to prevent them from leaving. if you think "well, yes, why not", then you are not yandere. you're a control freak with a lack of complete empathy and definitely not even an imaginary crush.

yandere is crazy love, crazy devotion and, variably, the desire to make sure that the partner will only be with you.

why take a super empathic and gentle character who has huge psychological problems and a hero complex, and say that they are doing this? yandere is not a remaking of personality, it is bringing certain traits that already exist to an unhealthy appearance. you know when overbearing characters lock people up, or when socially intelligent ones manipulate. but because of this, they do not lose their other features. otherwise, it's not a character anymore. and this is not a "variable view" — this is a complete alteration of the personality for your own needs and erasure when you don't see anything in the character except the name. and I'm not saying that changing personalities is bad, just why?

if this is not a different view, not an analysis and not a development into an unhealthy area, but a complete rejection of the canon, then why?

I sound like I'm wearing a white coat, but your soft character, becoming a yandere, will not kill and rape. it's still a soft character. they are still the same timid and shy. they still cry easily. they still cling to their partners. they whisper that everything is against them and their partners. they whisper like a tempting snake, persuading to stay together, to stay without others, to stay at home — until the partner realizes that the ties with others have become too thin. they whisper that everyone else hates and dislikes them, that they, as a couple, are destined to be together and against the whole world.

if they rape, kill and shackle, although they were taught that this cannot be done, and that they are afraid of blood — this cannot be explained by "well, they are yandere".

this is not a "different view" if it cannot be supported or explained in any way. their nature should remain, even if you change everything else. what makes them them cannot be touched. otherwise, it's not a character anymore. it's oc. and it's not bad, don't get me wrong — but then why mark them as a character?

maybe we just saw different shows, so I don't understand them. surely it is. maybe a complete reworking is actually an "author's view", and not at all using only the outer shell of a character with a name. maybe. why not.

just go ahead, blocking them and all those who can create such a thing — after all, if you make a meek and submissive character into a big sadistic daddy on 17K without "readmore", then even if I express poison, I understand that I should not write anything except a new block in a black sheet — fuck all these attempts to be considerate, I don't even want to see and would rather rewind the time and immediately block than scroll down for a few minutes.

...

but it's still not fucking yandere.

this is yangire. this is mental instability. anything but yandere. yandere has only one, one main sign: they adore their lovers to an unhealthy degree.

the paths are different — the goal is the same. they use knives, basements, poisons, conversations, collars and shackles, murders and isolation, because they are sure that it will only help them to keep their loved ones close to them or safe.

if your yandere significantly and consciously harms the beloved, then it is not yandere. yandere can kill, andere can torture, yandere can threaten — but not their love interest. they can harm their love interest only in a deadly way or by trying to stop them when everything else seems pointless.

but I can't imagine anyone trying to do anything related to the body.

yandere want love. if your yandere does not want love, but, for example, possession, then this is not yandere. the very essence is lost. a possessive yandere is a yandere who seeks the protection of their love through the appropriation of the beloved as "their" territory.

but if there is no love, then there is no yandere. it's obvious. therefore, baby trapping as a way to bind a lover is meaningless. as proof of love, yes, but not as a way to make a partner fall in love with them.

maybe manipulations to force someone to make children — yes. but not secret fertilization. because such a thing is not a sign of crazy love. this is objectification. and I will not believe that a love-addled and love-hungry yandere does not want to harm their partner as a last resort, especially considering that for many people a child is a significant event — and knowing that their lover did not want this child is definitely not what any yandere wants.

and I don't understand why at what point the characters without falling in love became "yandere". if they don't love their beloved, then it's not yandere.

if you take only the name and appearance from a character, then it's not a character. you can describe a character from any side, — even as a whining mess and a sadistic daddy/mommy, — so that it's clear that it's still them, but...

I don't understand. and I hope I never will.

#[📂] — voice from under the bed #🧸.yandere au #🧸.breeding #🧸.dub con #🧸.noncon #🧸.huge essay #🧸.pregnancy #cw dark content #I'd better go watch lol arcane #I promised not to write huge complaints anymore #but I can't #It's everywhere #they either evolve or degrade and there are more and more of them #I do not understand #why is there no automatic function to transfer blocked people from one blog to another #tumblr think about it

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diditonceinadream-blog · 5 years

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BNHA x BE CROSSOVER

Ch. 3

Rin's Hero Costume, Mk. 1 👇

Alright guys, we get our first look at the ExWire gang in this chapter. I made Bon's personality a bit more out there just because he has a seduction quirk and holds power over everyone else because of it. He's still the same genius, straight-laced guy, and that will show up in later chapters once we spend more time with Rin's friends.

-------------------

Over the days, routines were made. Get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and head off to school. And every day Yukio insisted on hugging Rin goodbye, while Rin kept trying to punch him for it.

Some of Rin's classmates saw and seemed very confused.

"Hey, Okumura!" Kirishima called him over. He walked to him, Kaminari, Ashido, and Hagakure. "What's up?" He greeted. "Who's the guy that's always hitting on you?" Ashido wondered. "Mina! You can't just blurt things out like that!" Hagakure hissed.

They were cut off by Rin's laugh. "Nah, it's ok. That's my twin. He's got some attachment issues. Guess that's what happens when you've got no one to take care of you but a brother a couple hours older than you, huh?" Rin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Wait, you don't have parents?!" Hagakure exclaimed. Rin shook his head. "Nope! But don't feel bad. It's better this way. Trust me."

"Yeah, no curfew and no rules." Kaminari grinned. Rin sighed. "That would be a lot of fun, but Yukio insisted we needed curfew and rules to keep us safe and under control. We kinda just raised ourselves since no one else could. We had to grow up real quick." Rin shrugged. Kaminari frowned. "Aww, party pooper." He joked. They all laughed.

At that point, class started. They went to their regular classes like English and Math.

§~•~§~•~§

Finally, lunch rolled around. Rin found his brother with his friends and sat with them. He knew Yukio didn't really like anyone but Shiemi.

"Hey Suguro! How're you holding up in the second hero course?" Rin wondered. He groaned. "If fuckin' Monoma doesn't shut his trap about beating Class 1A, I'm gonna bring him to his knees and it's gonna be painful." He growled. Rin laughed. "Shiemi, Shima, what about you guys?"

Shiemi smiled, playing with the little leaf-man she'd made out of seeds and leaves."Oh, things are going well. Everyone is nice. They're kind of noisy though..." She trailed off. "There's this one chick named Hatsume. She keeps hitting on Shiemi, but Shiemi's too oblivious." Shima snickered. They all laughed at the girl's red face. "H-Hey! I don't really know how to handle that stuff!" She cried.

"It's okay, Shiemi. If you find you don't mind Hatsume's presence and don't mind spending time with her, I can help you figure out what to do for a date and what goodies to give her." Shima promised. "Uh, no, I will. I don't trust you and other people's partners." Rin shook his head.

"Oh, so you trust the guy with a seduction quirk, but not me?!" Shima huffed indignantly. "Yes. Because I have total control of the guy with the seduction quirk." Rin answered. Suguro smirked and pulled the fire user into his lap–something he knew would annoy the younger, placing his chin on the boy's shoulder. "What was that about having control over me, blueberry?" He snickered. "Hey! Suguro!" He growled, elevating his body temperature with flames so the boy let go of him. Rin laughed at his friend's grumbling before he spotted Midoriya across the cafeteria watching them curiously. He waved.

The green haired boy blushed at being noticed and then looked down at his food.

"Deku, what's wrong?" Uraraka questioned. Iida looked at him. "Something is bothering you, Midoriya?" He guessed. "Uh...no, it's just...Okumura-kun and his friends. They look so comfortable together." He said wistfully. Just as he said so, the aforementioned people walked up and sat down around the trio. Midoriya wondered how they'd gotten there so fast.

"Hey Midoriya. Whatcha up to?" Rin greeted. The poor boy jumped out of his skin. "Kinda skittish, huh? He's like Shiemi." Izumo commented. The blonde smiled at the green haired boy. "Hello. I'm Moriyama Shiemi. I'm Rin's friend. It's nice to meet you." She introduced. Rin's friends gave their introductions, following her lead.

"And I'm Yukio, Rin's twin." The taller boy sitting on the other side of Iida said. "Hmm, you guys don't really look alike." Hagakure and Ashido had apparently made their way over. "Mina!" Hagakure sounded exasperated. Suguro guessed she just blurted out whatever she was thinking a lot of the time. "That's okay. I wouldn't wanna be a pretty boy like Nii-san." Yukio teased. "Watch it genius, I feed you and you don't know what I put in that food." Rin warned playfully.

"Rin's kinda snappy today, huh Okumura?" Suguro grinned, wrapping his arm tighter around Rin's waist. Ashido squealed. "Is this the guy with the seduction quirk?" She asked.

"Well, nothing escapes you, does it?" Izumo snarked. "Hey," Rin shot a small flame at her arm, where it sizzled on her sleeve. "Be nice. Not everybody is as observant and snobby as you, Eyebrows."

"I told you my name is Kamiki Izumo!"

"Ooh, cat fight." Shima grinned, leaning forward. "Do I look like a girl to you?" Rin turned to the pink haired boy.

"You guys are so mean to Rin." Uraraka giggled. "How is that funny?" Iida questioned. "Nah, s'okay. We know each other well enough to trash talk each other and still be friends. Long as no one steps over the line, we're good. I can call Kamiki a stone cold bitch all I want and she won't do anything cause she knows it's true." Rin brushed it off.

Except right after that, birds started pecking at his head. "Ow, ow, Kamiki, call off the birds!" Rin held his arms up in defense.

Rin heard a familiar laugh and glared at Bakugou from across the room. "Uh oh. I sense a rivalry." Hagakure sang. "I think Bakugou has a three way rivalry with Midoriya, Rin, and Todoroki. That guy's got some serious issues." Ashido added. When the explosive blonde in question turned away, Rin spit a tiny ball of fire and they all watched until it hit it's target: Bakugou's hair. Rin cursed("Ohshit") and ducked behind Suguro. Bakugou turned to glower at Rin and didn't see him, so he immediately got up and ran out of the room, no doubt hunting the boy down.

Rin came back up, grinning. "Nice one, Rin. Now he'll be running in the halls like a maniac until he realizes you're still here and that he just looks like an angry psycho." Shima snickered. "We should refrain from using our quirks out of classes." Konekomeru put in quietly. "Yes, I agree with Miwa-kun." Iida did karate chops in the air with his hands. Rin snorted. "Little too late for that, guys."

The bell rang and the group split, going to their more abnormal courses.

§~•~§~•~§

As they waited for the teacher to arrive, Rin heard running in the hallway and cocked his head to the side in confusion right before All Might burst into the room.

"I HAVE.....COME THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL!!!" He yelled. Rin snorted out a laugh. It seemed like he would rather have come in through the window. Some students freaked out and got excited, some students fanboyed(Midoriya), and then some just smiled and laughed.

The Number One Hero posed in front of the class and began talking(well, it was more like shouting....).

"Hero Basic Training-The class that'll put you through all sorts of special training to mold you into heroes!"

He showed them a card. "No time for dallying, today's activity is this! Battle!" He shouted. Rin couldn't help but smile at the man's excitement. He seemed genuinely happy to be here teaching them, whereas Aizawa was more like a teacher that never wanted to be a teacher in the first place, but needed a job and just took what he could get.

Something slid out of the walls, revealing cases with numbers on them. Are those.....?

Rin grinned once All Might announced that these were their hero costumes they'd ordered. They all retrieved their numbers. Everybody cheered and headed to the changing rooms to put on their costumes.

§~•~§~•~§

Rin grinned as he slipped on his gloves and moved to lace his boots up. He went out to meet everyone else. Kirishima was with Kaminari. The redhead had metal all over his body and even across his face and Kirishima just had some kind of device on the side of his head. "Hey Okumura!" He greeted. "So, what's up with your costume? Going for the Assassin's Creed look?" Kaminari teased. Rin grinned. "It's all fire proof and it's easy to move in. Plus, the material guards me from anything like Mina's poison." Rin explained.

"Oh yeah, your quirk. What exactly is your quirk?" Kaminari wondered. "It's fire." Rin held a hand out and a small blue flame appeared, flickering in his palms and on his fingers. "I can breathe it, I can blast it from my hands, I can cover my body in it. My brother and I grew up in a rough neighborhood, so we made sure to keep our quirks trained in case anything happened so I can even control the temperature of my flames too, though the lowest I can get it is about 23°C." Rin answered. "It's so hot it's blue? Interesting!" Kirishima examined he small flame in tins palm.

"Wow, that sounds awesome! I can only do one big blast, but it kinda fries my brain, so...." Kaminari scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"I can harden!" Kirishima shouted excitedly, hardening his arm until it looked like rock. Rin stifled a laugh behind his hand. "I'm pretty sure every guy can do that, Kirishima." He sniggered. "Oi, that's not what I meant!" The redhead complained. Rin and Kaminari laughed, leaning on each other while Kirishima's face turned redder than his hair.

"Alright! Now that you have these costumes, from now on, you are all heroes!" All Might announced. Rin heard footsteps and looked behind him. Midoriya was just arriving from the tunnel behind everybody. Man, this guy is a mess.

Rin had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The boy's costume was his own signature color, but it was pretty obvious who he modeled it after. Rin looked between Izuku and All Might and he could tell the Number One Hero had noticed. Midoriya, stop trying so hard!

All Might explained how they were going to work in teams and fight each other as heroes against villains.

This is either gonna be insane fun or a complete disaster......

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itsbenedict · 3 years

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Two-Faced Jewel: Session 6.5

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, Looseleaf and Saelhen fought their way to the top of the evil torture tower of the evil torture wizard- only to find out that the guy's been dead for at least a year, and that a dragon has apparently been squatting in his tower. Not content to wait another week to find out what this means, we had an off-schedule mini-session wherein the party finished exploring the unexplored nooks and crannies of Lumiere's Tower.

The first thing to deal with is the thing blocking their return down the stairs- there's a weird big metal coffin-looking dealie that waddled up to the stairs on the fourth floor, but couldn't chase them any further. Going back down, though... they could take a window, but they figure there's no way this thing could be a serious threat. It can barely move, after all- they can probably just push it right over!

Looseleaf pokes it with a stick, and its front splits open down the middle, revealing a giant maw of horrible spikes which snaps at her threateningly.

So it's an iron maiden! Adorable! Still doesn't have legs, or arms, so it's fine, right? They can just stand on the stairs and

whoops nope it's got animated canvas straps inside it that shoot out and ensnare orluthe like a chameleon tongue. okay. so maybe this monster is dangerous actually.

The ensuing fight makes heavy use of a mechanic in D&D called "called shots", where you can take disadvantage on an attack roll in exchange for inflicting some kind of injury on the opponent by hitting them in different specific body parts. They don't want to let Orluthe get shut inside and take a fuckload of stab damage, so they jam Looseleaf's quarterstaff in the doors, slice up its canvas straps, and by force of numbers manage to render nearly all its appendages impotent. The poor torture instrument has disadvantage on all its attack rolls after the called shots go through, and it can't land any more hits! The party eventually wears it down, and Looseleaf lands the finishing blow by scrambling its spirit.

All that's left in their way is the translucent red barrier blocking off the 3rd/4th floor stairs. Not finding anything on the fourth floor to shut it off, they just go via the window like before. Back down on the third floor, Looseleaf uses her spirit sight to notice that the barrier is connected magically to some runes inscribed on the central pillar- it looks like there's some sort of creepy puzzle involving stabbing creepy dolls with creepy doll-sized knives.

Not interested in risking whatever the consequences of solving the puzzle wrong are (given that they already have a way up and down), they move on.

While they're there, Saelhen decides to take another crack at the trapped chest she couldn't open earlier. Rather than risk the trap, she first spends some time expertly disarming the trap built into the lock, before working on the lock itself. A couple good rolls later, and they acquire the treasure! Which is... 60 gold pieces, and a piece of paper with a list of words.

Saelhen fails her Nature check, but Looseleaf recognizes the words on the paper as... the names of craters and other geographical features of the moon.

[WAR_FLASHBACKS.jpg]

No one's quite sure why a list of moon landmarks would be locked up in a highly-secure chest protected by a poison needle trap, but no one rolls high enough on Religion to puzzle it out.

Moving on down, they reach the second floor, which appears to be a laundry room of some sort. The sort where the irons and ironing boards and scrub brushes are alive, and appear to be washing the same clothes over and over and over to the point where most of them have been reduced to sparklingly clean rags. Seems like these animated household objects have been stuck on a loop for a good long time!

There's what appears to be an intact magical cloak hanging on a clothesline in there, but the party opts not to try and take it- doing so would likely provoke some protective laundry automatons.

Saelhen's plan to lure the scrub brush away from the washtub (for... reasons??) fails, since the brush doesn't seem to want to leave the tub- and it's visibly disappointed when Saelhen gives up.

So, they head down to the first floor, finally! As they head down, they're noticed by more animated knives... but it seems these ones have been tasked with cooking a delicious meal, which they happily serve up to the tower's guests! The wheelbarrow from before is there, too, supplying the kitchen with food. The only question is... who's been eating this stuff? Why is the table not covered in rotten, uneaten banquet, if the wizard's been dead? Who's been putting grocery money in the wheelbarrow?

Other things of note in the room...

Benedict I. (GM): The shelves around the center seem to be festooned with various trophies and awards. Looseleaf: trophies. what, like, participation trophies??? school trophies? piano recital trophies?? Benedict I. (GM): These would actually be somewhat recognizable to most of you- you've seen similar things in trophy cases at school. The plaques beneath them seem blacked out in various places- a lot of [REDACTED]. Looseleaf: warball champions of the 1034 school year? Benedict I. (GM): Often built into the plaques. Saelhen du Fishercrown: huh who redacts a plaque Benedict I. (GM): Like, there'll be a flat section of the plaque painted black like it was engraved that way

Looseleaf, with a 20, Investigates a bunch of pertinent information. For instance, a diploma:

Hal Lumiere, PhD in [______]. Blacksky University, Department of Restricted Arts

It appears Hal Lumiere was an alumnus of Blacksky's School of Restricted Arts- the same place Vayen is from. Lumiere was apparently something of a darling there, considering all the awards- but no one in the party has ever heard of him. Except maybe a certain someone who's not telling.

Looseleaf also finds some unopened mail! One is illegible, written in Abyssal, the language of demons.

(Lore note on demons: demons are just like other monsters- evil things that come up from below the mountains and cause trouble. They aren't generally aware of their origins beyond waking up in a deep cave, usually, and aren't motivated by much except causing conflict and hurting people.)

Another letter is written in Common, with just plain awful handwriting:

"hey Lumes why tf arent you home today u fuckin flake ass fairyboy. who am i supposed to get that dank good ouch from if youre off on magic adfentures. this months number shits are: 14.3 6755 304° and then the little bar thing was on the green side but wobbly. now gimmeeeeeee"

It's a bit of an enigma- but even more enigmatic is the third letter Looseleaf finds, written in a hand Looseleaf recognizes. Looseleaf knows who this letter was written by.

"Dr. Lumiere- find enclosed the new spirit hollowing diagrams and the corrected sigil of Aaaaaaagh. This should satisfy our agreement, so I'll leave you with a warning: the lesser gods are not to be trusted." "Yes, their revolution is our best shot at the Project- that much is obvious, barring a road to apotheosis. I understand we need to work with them. I doubt we'll have further contact, so I won't ask you not to reignite this argument- but insofar as it's at all relevant to you in the future, I favor your approach over Kron Green's." "But again, they are not to be trusted. The enemy of our enemy wishes mainly to supplant them, and despite their alliance, not all of them share the same aims. In particular, the one you've taken an interest in seems utterly hostile to the Project. " "If we are to impact the cosmic boardstate, we must play the game. Trust is the abdication of discovery. Choose your allies carefully." And then it is signed with a mark. The mark is of a book, facedown in the way that ruins the spine, sort of shaped to look like a skull. And the initials "Y.T." Looseleaf: youtube. the villain of our story, youtube. Saelhen du Fishercrown: trust is the abdication of discovery, what a goddamn motto Looseleaf: oh my god she's being so edgy well, that is characteristic of her.

She also finds what appears to be a trophy- but the trophy is shaped to look like a globe. Not of the Jewel, but of the moon. Obviously, they take it.

youtube

Some experimentation with the moon trophy seems to indicate that the locations marked on the paper from the chest draw out a sort of connect-the-dots pattern, which might be used elsewhere for some purpose. Whatever the pattern is meant to be used for, there's no indication of it here. All that can reasonably be inferred is that it has some connection to the School of Restricted Arts.

Meanwhile, the bookshelves have a few more things of interest. Amidst textbooks on neurology, magic, and speculative religion on a lower shelf, they find a hand-bound book that seems out-of-place.

Benedict I. (GM): Inside, it appears to be a diary. "i m choss n ths iss MY BOOK," it begins.

It appears to span several years of diary entries, from year 259 to 266- ending seven years before the current date, 273. The handwriting gets progressively less atrocious, and the entries are very sporadic- riddled with apologies to the diary for forgetting to write in it.

Benedict I. (GM): Choss, apparently, is a little girl who grew up in this tower. Initially she was very fond of her dad, the owner of the tower. Looseleaf: initially, huh. that's... a... great sign. Benedict I. (GM): Dad is a cool wizard who does fun magic all the time, which she helps with! She is very proud of how much pain she can withstand, and she's developed this sort of self-image as a connoisseur. Of pain. Saelhen du Fishercrown: hell Saelhen's face is getting progressively... stiffer, as she reads. Not angrier, per se, just... flatter. Benedict I. (GM): She helps out with the experiments except for not being allowed to take the hoods off the subjects in the lab. Looseleaf: Lumiere what the shit. Benedict I. (GM): And when there's no subjects, she fills in, and does a very good job, the best job. There's an entry describing how she designed a security system for her dad- she made some dolls and dad enchanted them so they open the door if you stab them right! She's very proud of it. You now know the order of stabs to disable the barrier. Anyway, the later entries seem to represent... entirely standard teen angst. Looseleaf: Hmm. Benedict I. (GM): Dad is being boring and not letting her do the experiments she wants to do and not letting her visit the towns and ugh dad. She gets fed up with him, and the last entry is about how she's leaving to go start her own life in Wheat. Looseleaf: REALLY NOW. Saelhen du Fishercrown: WELL. Looseleaf: ...god, maybe those rumors about wheat being full of insane murderous murder-os weren't, wrong. Saelhen du Fishercrown: if she is in fact a baby dragon Looseleaf: which is not at all guaranteed, by the way.

If you recall from a few sessions back:

To speak with a dragon is to be condemned to some sort of great misfortune, brought about by your own hand. You know the Simurgh from Worm? Listen to its song for too long, and you become sort of a sleeper agent of self-destructive carnage? It’s like a diet version of that. Whatever path your conversation with the dragon puts you on, it’s invariably bad for you, somehow. The metallic dragons, who’re ostensibly “good”, will still ruin your life in some way just by talking to you, even if your immolation does some good for the world on the way out. Nobody wants to talk to a dragon.

Also discovered in CHOSS BOOK is a brief account of a time she had to go to the basement, using the secret entrance underneath... something. Looseleaf almost immediately checks under the table they're sitting at, and finds... yep! A trapdoor leading to the basement!

Next time: the basement awaits!

#tfj log #twofaced jewel #Youtube

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