#i do not want to be perceived rn

[deviouz]

can you imagine how mean sebastian would be once he notices you have a thing for his hands?

he starts becoming more meticulous about his manicures, nails always coated in an inky black and cuticles pushed back. he had donned rings every now and then prior to his realization, but they become much more frequent once he noticed your squirming at the saloon. he’ll settle a hand on your thigh, fingers dancing along the hemming of the pretty little sundress you wore to escape the summer heat. while abigail and sam had missed the flustered expression etched into your features, sebastian definitely hadn’t. when he’s walking you home, hand curled around your waist because “it’s what a good friend would do” as he ignores the way you sneak glances in his direction. you’re not sure how, but the night somehow leads you pressed against the blossoming apple tree with a hand nestled between your thighs, skilled fingers dancing across your folds expertly enough to have you gasping his name in between kisses. he’ll make you beg for more, have you all teary eyed and desperate pleas as his fingers curl just right.

“‘s the matter, sweetheart? all you have to do is tell me what you want.”

#screams. #do not look at me. #i do not want to be perceived rn #there’s something abt emo boys and their hands #(i’m looking at you sebastian and L) #. . . sebastian (sdv) 💭 #sebastian x reader #sebastian sdv #sebastian sdv x reader #sdv sebastian #sdv sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian smut #sebastian sdv smut #sdv smut #sdv x reader

[rainwolfheart]

.

#the dysphoria is strong tonight lads #y'all ever get gender envy and then it turns into dysphoria bc you can't be like that person?? #i'm really envious of another afab enby's voice rn #also exhausted from all the misgendering i got today #i Do Not Want to Be Perceived rn #rain rambles

[vcrnons]

[ MIX & MAX ] NCT MARK & JISUNG 'Some Minds & Voices' ( for @ncteez <3 )

#mark #jisung #mark lee #park jisung #nct #nct dream #put simply. i did this a) on a whim and b) for hon. #look okay i barely even go here. i just saw she said she wanted someone to gif this video and i said yes. that. #something i can and will do. so happy christmas or birthday or event of ur choosing i guess ;o; #am i aware that u may or may not have been joking or at least a little unserious? sure #but now. a few hours of hyperfixation and ignoring my sore throat later. here we are anyway #i don't know how to tag this && tbh i don't particularly care abt tagging it /gen #i am just playing the silliest of buggers and trying to navigate some more fun colouring rn. don't perceive me<3 #cw flashing #tw flashing #flashing gif #(this is probably part 1 of 2 because the other half where they've got the metallic shit goin on? OOF) #*mine #my gif

[toxooz]

anyway the comic update should be next week (3pgs left) until then a ghillie König warm up scribble bc i finally caved and got the sloth pak and am Obsessed with how much more creepy he looks 😞👐

the pic that started it all:

#i never spend money on games other than the initial Game itself but MAN #it passed my rule of dont buy it unless u consistently think abt it for days and well it passed #i do want to get the whole ghost n soap pack too but brother that shit too much money im willing to spend #now i just need his peanut butter edition 😔 #he looks even creepier than his default skin (how hot of him) but i play like a clown so therefor he looks like a clown #BUT homie showed me how to do private matches with bots so i can practice without the feeling of sheepish embarrassment lmfao #bc apparently im even scared to be Perceived by randos who will never see me again in 5 seconds #thats anxiety baybay!!!! #so anyway my prayers have been answered OK i Gotta shuddup brain is playing pinball with 1000 thoughts rn peace #my art #i mean barely PFFFT #scribble #sketch #konig #ghillie #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #konig modern warfare #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #könig #konig cod

[homosexualcitron]

how about you look at them because they are very cute

#dysphoria is killing me and the idea that people perceive me as a girl makes me want to die #but i'd fall in love with any man calling me by a fem term in a gay way #i'm doing very bad rn but i need to remind me that these ocs exist #and everything will get better #also yes Ambrose you could be his girlfriend #or his boyfriend or whatever #but you decided to not officialy date him and you're sooo stupid for that #:3 #Olive's gender is like #or maybe that's mine teehee ^w^

[running-in-the-dark]

my in-laws put our two cat trees that we still had at their place outside at least a couple days ago :) they've just been standing there. under a roof, at least, so the constant rain presumably hasn't ruined them. but, we just found out about it because they sent us a picture of the neighbour's cat on one of them :) because that's funny :) I'm very very annoyed :)

#to be clear - they specifically said it's no problem at all if we pick them up later #which we had/have planned to do this weekend #BUT now I'm just. I don't want those in my home now??? who knows what has been walking all over them??? #or if it had fleas that are now on there??? #I have massive issues with dirt and things that I perceive as dirty so I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if this is reasonable but it is #absolutely freaking me out and I'm genuinely very upset about it #I will never be okay with those cat trees again and it's really distressing and our cats LOVE one of them especially (it's the first one we #bought for them) #I'm really spiralling over nothing rn I think #personal

[bluesidedown]

🥺😭💕

#just found out The Boy has been making a playlist about me for the last 9 months of our relationship #and he just sent it to me. at 1130pm in my timezone. it is 3.5hrs long i cant atay up and listen to it rn and that! #is all! #i want to do! #anyway feeling very Loved and Perceived #and mad that he is like 7000km away #i fr cannot believe the songs on this playlist how do i cope with the fact that he listens to these and thinks of me #/pos

[moraxsthrone]

🔥 MY MALEWAIFU HAS ASCENDED 🔥

LVL 90 THOMA!! LEGGOOOO

(shout out to @crystalflygeo, @st4gg3r-mc-j4gg3r, and @harley627 for helping me w his ascension mats these past couple days!! ❤️🧡💛)

XINGQIU, YOU'RE NEXT...

#kel.plays genshin ◇ #lvl 90 thoma #his final ascension voice line tho 😭😭😭 #“my strength is your shield and i will always be here to protect you.” //rip here lies kel 🪦 #still a wip #YES THAT'S A FUCKING ANEMO GOBLET DO NOT PERCEIVE ME 🫣 #I CAN'T HELP THAT THIS DAMN GAME GIVES ME /THE WORST/ ARTIFACT STATS OKAY?? #why does EM have to be the rarest stat?? *wails* #i want him on a 4pc paradise lost and i only have dendro and anemo goblets 😩 #and nahida has my only dendro one #*heavy sigh* #just so y'all know dragon's bane is a highly underrated weapon for him #it's not my first choice but it's the best polearm i have for him rn AND IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT #thoma

[tellerluna-stories]

genshin x phantom of the opera AU where you are the newest recruit of the corps de ballet, a fresh-faced starlet who likes to sing and explore the theater in order to pass the time between rehearsals. but one day you wander too far below the theater and discover a strange figure who wears a large hat and thick veil, a man with the voice of an angel and whose heart breaks like one of a human. he does not reveal his face to you, but something about him compels you to come again, in spite of the dangerous rumours of the theater being haunted...

#tellerluna.dreams #I just want scara as the phantom ok #do not perceive the theater kid rn #moonstruck.annie #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche genshin impact

[vigilskeep]

hi incredibly sketchy doodle page, sketchiest yet, under the cut bc one of them is tristan and i have no idea how else to accurately convey a visual

#i think that tristan is probably a fair bit older than in dao although he already has a couple of v early grey hairs in dao #because of the turmoils and horrors. even though hes like. 23 #the scar is not from the howes i think its fun to give characters dramatic scars that arent from their tragic backstories #he just tried way too hard in training as a kid bc he wanted to be just like his mother and Mistakes Were Made #uhh what else needs explaining. can you guys read my handwriting #im not typing all that out #anyway the dress sketch is a concept for the warden-themed armoured gown i want for minerva at alistair and anoras weddingcoronation #needs some work must be sexier #thats minerva on the bottom left w her warden-commander stave heros vigilance my brother in arms my babygirl #uh and thats anders and keir bc i am woebegone without my lads rn #anything else... #OH LOOKING AT THE MINERVA/TRISTAN HEIGHT DIFFERENCE ONE YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND MINERVA IS TALLER THAN ZEV #DO YOU UNDERSTAND AND PERCEIVE okay good

[graveyardxxghoul]

.

#i wish i wasn’t so downright mentally ill #like why am i having a meltdown over myself rn #i want to erase all existence of me online #i do not want to be perceived #personal

[ignatius-pennyfeather-ix]

🗯

#lmaoooo at ppl responding to criticisms of the barbie movie with “yeah but we don’t want to think critically it’s not fun :(” #just. god. #the amount of brain damage the phrase let people enjoy things has led to is rlly shocking #yeah we r being ignorant but in our defense it’s easier to not care so actually ur the problem #like….? #if. you. don’t. care. just. Say That. #you don’t want to examine your own biases/experiences and how they affect your opinions #and people who do make you uncomfortable #which somehow translates to people who actually want to think critically are a problem?? #not articulating myself at ALL rn but omfg #i enjoyed the barbie movie like it was decent #but the feminism was very surface level and very white centric #like obviously made with a corporation #so i’m actually getting really sick of seeing so many thin gender conforming cis women act like it’s fucking feminist theory #exact same demographic who act like hyperfeminity in women is punished more than masculinity #you feel me? #like ohmygod the movie was enjoyable it was funny! #but nothing abt it was revolutionary. #anyways rant over i think #which btw just doing this in tags bc this is literally only meant to be perceived my beloved mutuals and chido followers #i don’t need a random person arguing with me abt this so #personalish #edit: also just to add #why are people also being like oh so just bc it has to be a female director it has to be groundbreaking feminism? #valid point but wrong fucking movie bro #that’s a critique of criticism of movies by and abt women that are NOT billed as feminist #textbook whataboutism #this shit just makes my hateritis flare up #ughhhh

[narrativeats]

im slowly becoming extroverted by force. i talk to a lot of people! i Need to manage group reports because of irresponsible bitches and i have very little tolerance to bullshit lately which makes me blunt i am not sure how to feel about these changes but methinks it's kind of necessary. it tires me a lot tho

#im not used to it i don't even want to think about how people perceive me or i will kms...... i try my best😬🙏🏼 #i know im a lil off-putting and weird but there's nothing i can do about it rn🤷🏽‍♀️ #ilay.txt

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

bc it's like. and i was GOING to talk to you about the religion aspect of it because it is also partly a letter to God where i am like bro fuck me why is everything so hard; but also like. u know that already i could talk myself into the ground about that already so like yeah. i never posted this one bc it explicitly mentioned my age in a way that i Do Not have the heard to change and also i am emotionally fragile about it and it was probably one of the last songs i wrote before the one i made for tater last year... and it's SO SAD man. it started out as a poem about me hating summer now and the fact that i hated hating summer now because it used to be my favorite season, but then every single thing that made me love the season got taken away from me--the place i was in when i got to experience it, the people i got to be with, the friends and the family and the spending time with all of those people who were so important to me--and then it kind of slowly turned into me going why is everything that i am fucked up how do you even wait for me when i'm like this why must time pass and why does the hurt only get worse. and there's like no real point to me talking about this song i do not think i am going anywhere with this but it is SO IMPRESSIVE how badly i did not want to listen to it until like. over a year later. and now every time i listen to it it's wild because i always get to have the fun realization that this fits literally any breakdown i could have that would have me listening to sad music like goddamn it is it a versatile little fucker of a song.

but also it is interesting because there are parts in there that i've grown a little about and i can look back and be glad that i have moved on from it. it's like a little marker fr like one day when i'm like fifty i can look back on this song and be like haha fuck you life i won. so i'm kind of just. drifting along waiting for that i think

FJFJRJR ALL OF THIS IS SO REAL DUDE IM

bc literally same omfg DUUDE. *shakes you and then hugs you and then shakes you again*

#its like. and idk if this is rlly related to what ur saying actually but for me these two things have major overlap #of the like. how much of what is ‘wrong’ is my fault and how much of it was not at all in my control and just #LIVING with mistakes or even just perceived mistakes #and forgivinh yourself and others OHKHGKGKGL #IT IS ROUGH OUT HERE OH THERE IS THIS SONG #i actually ended up making a playlist of all the songs that leave me emotionally devastated and there is one #that is like ‘i hate myself for hating you because you didnt really do anything wrong so why do i hurt so much’ #that my roommate played on the speakers one night and i was just. sat on my bed like WTF??? #BUT THEN ALSO THE GROWTH??????? and like the knowledge that it will continue to get better even tho it feels so fuckinh slow #and endless but you literally have empirical evidence that it gets better #*runs up the walls and bounces around in a feral manner* #ALSO HELLO THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE LIKE. THREE THINGS BOUNCING IN MY HEAD RN SO UMM. WOW TWINNING #just so so much unnamed and indescribable emotion that i want to DRAW but people are SO fucking hard #ask #soryasongsaa #pen and ink

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how to not be overstimulated

#put music on - some of my very favourite stuff - and oh! it is making my hair stand on end! in not a good way! i am now on edge and i #don't! know! why! #if only all this would make SENSE >:( #no apparent trigger that i can perceive #back to our regular i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee apparently #and there's no REASON for to be feeling like this it would be so much easier if there WAS #i want to do so many things but they involve Textures and No #knitting? i want to finish my cloak! im les than a row away from the border itself! excited! and its maybe at times getting cool enough i #could wear it! but the mere thought of perhaps i should knit to calm down sounds Too Much! because knitting has Texture! #piano? it has Sounds! and there's a slightly worrying trend beginning to emerge that piano makes me Feel Emotions! and it's been like at #least five times where ive gone to play the piano to calm down which helps to some extent but also helps to remove a numb feeling which is #overall good emotionally but it has ended up with me harming because i can't Deal with the Emotions! and i dont think this is a very good #trend! i could get out my colouring book i was given for my birthday and see if that helps but that also has Sounds! pencil on paper sounds #i could write but id have to work out a different scene because i cannot write the scene im up to rn bc it's hard enough when im #emotionally stable bc neither character knows what to do or say! #so many things i *could* do! i could go for a walk! too Bright #i could do All These Things If Only I Could #am i just making up all these difficulties and is it just my own stupid brain that's inventing things? Who Knows!! #and it's so unfair that eating makes everything *worse* #it shouldn't happen that way #it just shouldn't #i just want to die so bad #i wont do anything #not permanent i mean #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #for the record i ate a meal like an hour and a half ago and ive hydrated #personal #im just so tired and pathetic and messed up :/

[derogatorydennis]

nothing angers me more than baby talk not directed at babies or in the presence of babies wtf is i hungy :( you have a diploma

#experiencing a perplexing amount o f stress rn n just got text s co from a friend #FULLY. in baby talk #WHAT R U DOINGGGGFFFG HOW how do you think that’s an appropriate way to talk #are u not embarrassed #do you have no shame. #it’s not a perplexing amount of stress i don’t want to get another vape 😞 #but like. is this how you want to be perceived is this who you are. are you proud of that.