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#i do not charge them rent to be gay
decepticonfluid · 10 months
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take this itty bitty lil sketch until I finish my better miroah drawing 🥹
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thebroccolination · 20 days
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THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT
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By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.
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[source]
KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.
INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?
KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.
Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:
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[source: @backaof]
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[translation: @_beinglistener]
And Jojo added:
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[source: @jojotichakorn]
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[translation: @_beinglistener]
So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/
Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉
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#krist perawat#singto prachaya#kristsingto#the ex morning#i’ve already seen the same tired ‘guess rent was due’ about krist and#i see on twitter when people link my thread about krist to people still insisting he’s homophobic#man’s rich#he works constantly#he even said it’s something he regrets now that his grandmother who raised him passed away#he worked so much he didn’t have as much time for his family—who he helps support#he is quite literally considered bl royalty#he has more queer people in his circle than straight#waa (gay) is his mentor#aof (gay) wrote this series and jojo (gay) thought up the concept so even professionally he's supported by queer people#you don’t have to like him#and you don’t have to admit to sending death threats to a stranger who doesn’t speak your language based on rumors you didn’t verify#just y’know#admit quietly to yourself alone in your head that you were wrong and you caused harm to a person who didn’t deserve it#plenty of actors use bl as a stepping stone to bigger jobs#he’s not one of them#he wanted to do bl for years but gmmtv told him he could only work with singto#so literally the only reason kit didn’t do bl until BMF was scheduling issues because singto wanted to study abroad#and singto couldn’t get a fixed date for it and then the pandemic messed with his plans even more#i’m glad to see more and more people are understanding who krist is recently#and even in the series they made pathapi’s controversy an impulsive act of anger#krist has said he used to struggle with being hotheaded#and one of his apologies for the igs was even something like ‘i acted without thinking of how it would look out of context’#he just wanted people to stop harassing him for his sexuality but the context isn’t in the igs#anyway my go-to when i’m too tired to talk about this is always this#if he had ever been homophobic thai people would be the ones leading the charge against him…but it’s interfans
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meangirls-imagines · 22 days
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Coachella Diaries
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Description: Reader works for WWE and gets hurt during Wrestlemania, causing her to go on a months long break. She goes to Coachella Weekend 2 to support her girl.
WARNINGS: fluffy as shit, slightly suggestive at the end, reneechella (bc that's a warning itself)
Y/N stepped (as best as she could) off the plane and sighed at the California sun hitting her body. 
Her body was exhausted. Wrestlemania was the 6th and 7th, she performed both nights and unfortunately had torn a couple of ligaments in her foot. She worked through the pain and helped make Wrestlemania record breaking. She had gotten surgery on the 16th, which meant she unfortunately missed the first weekend of her girlfriend playing Coachella.
Reneè was also understandably upset, not at Y/N, but at the fact that her girlfriend had to get surgery and she couldn't be there. Luckily for Reneè, Y/N had her fellow superstars keep the blonde updated. The doctor had cleared Y/N for travel on the 18th and she landed in LAX on the morning of the 19th. 
Towa had been the one to help Y/N plan this out, picking her up from the airport. The musician smiled as Y/N hobbled towards her with her bag. "There's my favorite cripple! How's the foot?" Y/N smiled and hugged the girl. "It's definitely injured. I'll be out for a minute but honestly, I'm not mad, I need a break."
Towa laughed. "Ain't that the truth? If I have to hear Reneè freak out about every bump you take, I might've gone crazy." Y/N blushed. Reneè was always very protective of Y/N, not that her profession helped with that. The blonde loved and hated watching Y/N do her thing. Yes, Y/N looked hot but if Y/N had to take another spear from Roman Reigns or a stomp to the chest from Finn Balor, Reneè was going to commit murder. 
This new era of WWE meant the return of inter-gender wrestling, with Y/N leading the charge. She had become the inaugural WWE World Heavyweight Champion, holding it for 316 days. She had been a part of the two biggest main events of Wrestlemania history, which is where she tore the ligaments in her foot. Never the less, she persisted and opened the next night of Mania, unfortunately she lost her title but the ovation she got when she got backstage was worth it. 
She was thrilled to help Cody finish his story but also was happy that she could get a break. She saw the doctor who gave her the diagnosis and what doctor to see and she was on her way.
She had messaged Towa the night she found out and set the surprise up. 
As the two ventured out of the airport, they caught up with each other, Towa informing Y/N of her love life and what not. The two reached the SUV and began the drive from the airport to the AirBnB they were renting for the festival. During the two hour car ride, Y/N had told Towa about some backstage drama happening as the Brit ate it up.
After 2 and a half hours, they finally made it to the house. Adam had been standing outside, waiting for them as they pulled up. The man helped Y/N out of the car and gave her a hug. "There's my favorite former champ! Congrats on the run. It was a rollercoaster." Y/N smiled and hugged the man back. "Thanks Adam! It was definitely a rollercoaster! A fun one though! So, where is my girl?"
Adam laughed. "She's out in the back with everyone else, they're pregaming before we go. Are you sure you can handle going out?" Y/N nodded. "I slept on the plane ride here. Perks of using the company jet." Adam nodded as Towa met up with them, handing Y/N her bag. The trio headed inside. 
Adam and Towa headed to the back to distract everyone while Y/N slipped into the room Reneè was staying in. She took in a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Reneè. God, she missed it so much. She changed quickly, putting on the custom "Reneèchella made me gay" shirt and some shorts before getting the message from Towa to make her appearance. 
She grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed out to the backyard. The group all did a "cheers" before taking the shots provided for them. Y/N decided to speak up. "Do I get a shot too?" 
Everyone turned towards the new voice but no one turned quicker than Reneè. The blonde stood shocked at the sight of her girlfriend, boot and all, standing in front of her. "Holy fuck! Reneè ran to where Y/N was standing and hugged the girl tightly. Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's head. "Hey superstar. I've missed you." Everyone was aww-ing at the scene, some clapping. 
Reneè pulled away from the hug and pressed her lips to Y/N's, kissing her for the first time in weeks. The group cheered as the two kissed, causing Reneè to slip them off. After a minute, the two pulled away and Reneè began to scratch the back of Y/N's neck. "You're really here!" Y/N smiled and kissed her nose. "I am. Now I think it's time to have some fun." Reneè smiled and pulled Y/N over to her friends. 
The group was watching Chappell Roan absolutely kill it when fans began to notice the couple being all cute.
@y/nisthechamp: GUYS! I'M AT COACHELLA WATCHING THE QUEEN CHAPPELL ROAN AND RENEÈ AND Y/N ARE LITERALLY 10 FEET AWAY FROM ME AND THEY ARE SO CUTE!! Y/N IS HUGGING RENEÈ FROM BEHIND AND THEY ARE SINGING AND DANCING!!
@/reneerappslut23: guys. i just saw a video of reneè and y/n all cozy at coachella and my heart 🥺
@y/nfan123: just saw a video of reneè grinding on y/n while they were watching t-pain. don't know who i wanna be more...
@/reneefan253: guys. reneè cannot keep her hands off y/n. she's always rubbing her back or the back of her head or her shoulder. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!
The group made their way back to the house, all breaking off to their respective rooms, sleepily exchanging good nights. Reneè and Y/N made their way to Reneè's room. The two flopped on the bed, Reneè snuggling into Y/N's side. "I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait for you to see me perform." Y/N kissed the blonde's forehead. "Me too baby."
The next day was a lot of the same, more musicians sets, more drinking, etc. Sunday came a lot faster than Y/N expected and she found herself sitting in Reneè's trailer with her, the girl getting ready for her set. Reneè was looking on her phone as her hairstylist finished up her look. Y/N decided to take a stealthy picture and post it on her insta with the caption "coachella ready", tagging Reneè. 
Comments started flooding in immediately. One that stood out to Y/N was from her not older sister Liv Morgan.
@/yaonlylivvonce: We are so excited to see her!! Drinks after?
Y/N smiled and responded to the girl. Adam poked his head in and informed Reneè she had five minutes. The blonde thanked him, took a deep breath and pulled Y/N with her to the wings of the stage. To Y/N and Reneè's surprise, Alyah was waiting for them. Reneè squealed, wrapping Alyah in a tight hug. Y/N smiled at the pair and took a picture of them hugging. Alyah pulled away and hugged Y/N too, scolding her about her injury and how she should've been more careful. 
Reneè saved Y/N by pulling her away from Alyah, wrapping her arms around Y/N's waist and burying her face in her neck. Y/N rubbed the blonde's back. "You're gonna do amazing out there Reneè. Please remember to drink water though. Don't need you passing out on stage." Reneè chuckled as she heard her intro being played. 
"Well, I guess that's me." Reneè pulled her head out of Y/N's neck, leaning up for a kiss. "I love you." Y/N smiled and pecked Reneè's lips. "I love you more. Now go kill it." And with a playful smack on the butt, Reneè went out on stage.
"Tasted the blood in my mouth, and left you there to bleed out.."
Y/N being there must have flipped a switch in Reneè because the girl was putting on a SHOW. Y/N had to keep herself from drooling watching her girlfriend do what she loved. Y/N's fav part do far had to be the Willow ass shake. For scientific reasons, of course. Y/N saw Towa getting her in-ears put in and grabbing her guitar. "Go kill it out there, Birdie." Towa winked playfully at Y/N and went out on her cue from the blonde. 
The two were soon joined by Coco Jones as they performed "Tummy Hurts". Y/N smiled at hoe happy her girl looked. Watching Reneè perform was Y/N's favorite thing to do. She loved how confident Reneè was on stage and how carefree she looked. 
After a beautiful rendition of "Snow Angel", Reneè gave her thanks to the crowd and jogged off stage. One of the crew guys poured a little bit of water on the back of Renee's neck, to cool her off, as the girl walked straight into Y/N's open arms, almost collapsing in the embrace.
"Fuck Reneè, I'm so fucking proud of you, superstar." Reneè blushed and hid her face in Y/N's neck. "I couldn't have done it without you here." Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's temple. "You did it last weekend." Reneè pulled away from Y/N's neck and smiled at her. "Yeah, but it wasn't as fun." Y/N rolled her eyes and kissed Reneè, unaware of Towa taking a picture of them. 
Everyone praised Reneè and her performance before they walked back to the area where her trailer was. Alyah spoke up. "So, what's the plan now?" Reneè smirked and looked at Y/N. "Well, Y/N and I are going to go back to the house to...catch up and we'll meet you guys later?" Towa and Alyah shared a knowing look before nodding and going to watch another set. 
Y/N looked at Reneè confused. "Catch up?" The blonde nodded. "Mhhm. I'm planning on reclaiming my favorite seat..." Y/N caught on and blushed, allowing the blonde to pull her to the car waiting for them.
Yeah, Towa and Alyah would be fine on their own for a while...
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shortpplfedup · 10 months
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Only Friends Character Rankings Pre-Air
Jojo, Ninew, Ninepinta and Vivienne have now presented their stable of hoes to us, y'all have chosen your fighters, and I am gnawing on concrete in anticipation of August 12. Since I'm gonna be doing weekly character rankings, I wanted to set up a pre-air Clown Checkpoint so I can look back later and see how wrong I was. Until that YouTube premiere countdown hits zero, we know exactly nothing, but I'm ready to predict whose gay wrongs I will most support! Here we go!
1. Nick
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I just want you to love only me!
Audience ranking: 6
Ever since Mark Pakin showed up in that pilot trailer scheming and sex-taping, Nick has been MY DUDE. I want him to be the most manclown character of all time. I want him to be DESPERATE AND PATHETIC for Boston's dick. ANSWER EVERY BOOTY CALL NICK, I BELIEVE IN YOU. HE WANTS YOU TO DO A THREESOME? NO PROBLEM, WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE. I want Nick to call his bestie (Sand?) crying because Boston came over at 3:02 a.m. and left at 4:37 a.m. and 15 minutes of that was him taking a post-coital shower. I want crying and begging and clinging and devious acts. Khun Pakin has the chops to make my dreams come alive, make it happen boo!
2. Mew
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My type is pretty simple. I'm not a picky kind of guy.
Audience ranking: 4
Right up until time of posting I thought my #2 seed would be Boston, but something is telling me that when it comes to manipulation and making grown men cry, Mew will emerge the champion. Something in this butter-wouldn't-melt expression is telling me this man is the true demon from hell whereas Boston is merely a top-tier-yet-still-garden-variety slut. Him shit-kicking Boston into the pool and then jumping in himself to finish the job is the kinda deranged shit I respect immensely. Kill them all Mew. You deserve.
3. Boston
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You should be glad to be my favourite.
Audience ranking: 5
I may have called this man a garden variety slut, but I love a good slut though! Especially one who will lend his toys to help out a friend. And then almost instantly regret it. And then cause chaos and problems for himself as a result. And then make it everybody else's chaos and problems. Basically, I expect Boston's job to be throwing hole around Bangkok and ruining lives, and I expect him to do it WELL, and I expect him to do it in the sluttiest rent boy outfits I've ever seen.
4. Ray
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You think my life will be better with you? It's only fucking going down to hell.
Audience ranking: 3
Speaking of chaos and problems, OUR BI DISASTER IS HERE GUYS! Bisexual? Bipolar? Why not both? The trailer is letting us know from jump that Ray is A Mess With Money and happy to use that money to buy himself some company, but also not able to keep those lines from getting blurred. I’m expecting this character to make me fall in love with him but also want to strangle him, Teh Krittikorn Saetun-style, so expect this ranking to go up until he is somehow my fave.
5. Sand
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Friends don't charge friends. Besides, you should save your money for a shrink.
Audience ranking: 2
First Kanaphan’s job at GMMTV is to rip our hearts out roughly twice a year, and he’s right on schedule. It seems like Sand never learned not to fall for poor little rich boys, so we will all have to suffer with him. Honestly his ranking is this low right now because I see these guitars and microphones and I want no part of them. There is a short list of GMMTV boys allowed to sing at me and as much as I love First he is not on it. Ditch the microphone and bring back the baseball bat bb, I’m ready to see you bust some heads, kneecaps, car windows, whatever in pursuit of your love.
6. Top
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When I take aim, I never miss.
Audience ranking: 7
Ah yes, the hoe-turned-seeming-housewife who’s actually still hoeing. The village bike. The community top. Boston basically turns him out and he’s not only fine with it, he falls for the john. Delicious. I desire his ruin like I’ve desired nothing before in media.
7. Everybody we don’t know nothing about yet (Yo, Nam/Syrup, Nes, Lesbian!Nonnie, A Wild Papang, various and assorted surprise guests I’m pretty sure we’re getting)
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Friends don't do this to each other.
Audience ranking: 1 (combined score)
We await the tea on all the side characters, but the casting is superb, and I’m ready to see how high in the rankings they can climb.
LET THE MESS COMMENCE!
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is-the-owl-video-cute · 2 months
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Hazmat Hole 1: Overture
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I went back and forth on whether to do the pilot or not, but ultimately decided not to. Pilots are meant to be an episode 0 that isn’t necessary to understanding the plot. I may go back to it after episode 8 if I’m not completely sick of this.
It starts off with a story book narration about how hell started because Lucifer was a rebel or something and just states very vaguely that he had big ideas heaven didn’t like. Also Adam was the first man, Lilith was the first woman but she didn’t like Adam and liked Lucifer better they fell in love or whatever and Lucifer gave Eve the apple and he and Lilith were banished to hell. I wish I could lie and say I was skipping over details but they used more words to explain that in about as much depth as I did there. Anyway. The important part is that Charlie is a princess of hell as the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and the angels go down to hell annually to purge excess souls.
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These two start off annoying and by god I do not see them getting any less so. Charlie is legitimately the most generic Disney Princess rip off I have ever seen in my life, complete with reading books aloud bursting into song. It’s genuinely jarring to hear her swear because you can tell the voice director basically just told her actor to pretend she’s auditioning for the little mermaid. Vaggie is annoying because she’s written like a middle schooler’s first “strong female character”. She’s the emo love interest in a B movie that was straight to video and made by people who don’t actually know what emo is.
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Appropriation Deer is literally just here to make wise cracks and occasionally move in ways that make animators cry and deviantart users in 2010 scream in joy.
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They could probably cut the budget in half by not having him in the show. Anyway no he is not here to do anything besides whine about how television sucks and emphasize that he’s only there at all because he’s into watching people fail and cry or whatever. He’s very flat as a character since he’s just there to be tumblr bait.
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Angel is here and spends the entire episode being sexually aggressive to the point of making everyone there uncomfortable and that’s the entire joke. That’s it. He’s a gay man who says penis and wise cracks and sexually harasses the men in the hotel. Because that is how vivziepop writes her mlm characters.
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We get a two for one easy joke with these two. Haha gay man is harassing a man who isn’t gay as well as haha asexual gets hit on but he says no way.
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Angel is here because “crack is expensive” and they don’t charge him rent there.
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Which he says while drinking a whole bottle of liquor to establish he’s an addict because vivziepop is as subtle as a bull in a China shop.
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And thus we are taken to our first musical number. It’s very underwhelming.
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Also Vaggie sings like she’s getting over a cold and plugging her nose and trying to do an impression of a duck.
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The opening number also leaves me with a perplexing question. Can you die in hell? Do you go to super hell if you die in hell?
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And we get our first real sexual harassment/assault joke from a giant slug flasher trying to make Charlie touch him in the middle of a musical number. I’m sure this bodes great for how angel’s abuse will be treated.
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I hate that I know this but as someone who did shamefully hate watch sausage party twice I have to point out that Adam here is literally just a rip off of a sausage party character.
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Everything down to the voice direction is literally just a rip off of the main antagonist of Sausage Party, the douche. This is probably somewhat intentional as vivziepop was a massive fan of that movie when it came out, but if you’re going to make an homage that borders on plagiarism (this is a joke I’m not accusing her of plagiarism here but it’s giving original character, donut steel), does it have to be from sausage party? Does it really? There’s other movies. Anyway he doesn’t say much, just establishes himself as a douche.
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Back at the hotel they start filming a new commercial since Alastor intentionally made their first commercial bad because he wanted to make fun of them and hates TVs just that much. Nothing very interesting happens. Angel is hot horny. Husk doesn’t want to be there. Alastor makes a deal with Vaggie to help as long as she never makes him go on TV again.
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We go back to Charlie begging Adam to stop coming to hell and killing demons by the hundreds every year and Adam says no in frankly one of the only songs that I like from this series. Sadly, it’s still terribly annoying and repetitive.
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Viv posted meme please clap.
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Isn’t this the homophobic character from the pilot? Didn’t realize she was given a male voice to imply she’s either a drag Queen or trans I guess. Great. I’m sure it’s a very artistic and respectful choice and not every other more likely reason this was the casting decision.
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The episode ends with the discovery that an Angel was killed during the last extermination so they plan to come back in just six months to kill every demon in hell. I might care if any character established themselves as anything other than a vessel to spout boring exposition and sex jokes for twenty minutes.
And that’s episode one. It’s honestly just boring and all of the explicit language sounds extremely forced and awkward.
0/10, the one okay song wasn’t enough to save it. Too much exposition dumping.
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harpsthings · 2 years
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My first thought on this lovely 9am morning (I am in hell) was that if Steve was asked by any of the girls to get them pads or tampons, he would make it his sworn mission to do right by them. He would charge into that store head on and get completely overwhelmed by all the options. So much so that he ends up stress-buying half of them because he forgot which kind they asked for.
On his way out he also buys a shopping cart full of chocolate, some lemons (because he read in a cosmo article they help), and food for at least three homecooked meals. 
He would then also rent their favorite movies and come back to their house complaining violently about all the trouble he went through (but really for him it was really no trouble at all)
Eddie would do the same, but if it were Robin or Nancy he’d say, “Cool, what pussy size are you?” and get smacked upside the head. When they go to the store for the girls together its constant bickering and throwing tampon boxes at each other because they are both trying to do this right but they are honestly too gay to function around each other.
Unless they take Dustin with them to teach him how to do it properly, then they are Super Serious(tm) and won’t stand for any funny business. “Henderson, get your head out of your ass. It’s a natural thing and a lot of people go through it!” “I know that but why are the pads all flowery? Where are the cool ones?” “The man has a point.”
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eva-knits12 · 2 months
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The Hate and Death Threats Are Uncalled For
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Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide. If you are feeling suicidal, please dial 988 or 911 immediately!
DISCLAIMER: If you believe that Chris Evan's "marriage" is PR, then fine. I know it's PR, it's fake, there's a contract involved. If you believe it's real, then fine. I have nothing against you if you believe it's real. I disagree. I think we can find some common ground here.
PR contracts aren't a new thing in Hollywood. They've been around since the beginning of Hollywood, and they'll keep coming out with PR contracts. PR contracts were a way to cover up a star's sexual orientation, which is where fake marriages come into play here. They were legal up until 1965. Liberace was gay. So was Rock Hudson. Katherine Hepburn was a closeted lesbian. All of them were in PR marriages, and under PR contracts. So, this isn't the first time we've had a PR contract, and it's not going to be the last PR contract. They'll still exist even after Chris and the porn troll break up.
A few bloggers on here have been getting hate asks, and death threats. I refuse to name this person, and I refuse to give her the space on my blog. She doesn't deserve the space on my blog, and she doesn't deserve to live in my head rent-free.
There are bloggers wishing death upon Chris. Wishing that he'd drown, kill himself, etc. That's uncalled for! If I didn't like Chris, I wouldn't wish death upon him. That speaks volumes about your character.
These same bloggers have sent hate asks to several people, and have even accused certain bloggers of switching sides. I'm #Team Chris. I haven't changed my stance that this is PR. I was team PR until all of this hate, all of these DM's and all of the bullying started to intensify. Like I said, if you believe that this marriage is real, then fine. As I have stated before, I disagree. I'm still adult enough to let you have your beliefs, and guess what? That's okay! All I want is for Chris to be happy.
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Chris looks miserable right now. There's no life in his soul, no life or light in his eyes, he's lost so much weight due to stress. There is little holding him together at this point. This is beyond guilt. He's in this contract, and it's deeper than we think.
This PR stunt will end when it's supposed to end. Chris and the porn troll will break up at some point, and it's not up to us to put out articles because it's not going on OUR timeline. Only two people know when this will end.
Telling someone to off themselves, wish they'd unalive themselves, and even making death threats is uncalled for. There are kids that have committed suicide because they were told to off themselves. There are people sitting in jail on murder charges because they have told a person to do this. You can be arrested for this!
The police can build a case easily because posts on IG, tumblr, facebook, e-mails and texts are time stamped. So, it doesn't take a detective to build a case.
I have lost two people in my life to suicide, and it never gets any easier.
All this hate right now is just uncalled for. I don't care what side you're on, I think both team PR and team real are unhinged. Both sides keep attacking each other over their own personal beliefs, and when someone walks away, or even interacts with someone from the other side, we're accused of switching sides. If you switch sides, fine. I have nothing against you if you do.
I'm Team Chris. There's still good in the man, and we just want to see him happy. He is still a decent human being underneath all this.
"Be excellent to each other."-Bill and Ted
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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billthedrake · 1 year
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SOULMATES
I know you're never supposed to believe a married man when he says he'll leave his wife for you. But Tim Rogers was living with me when he said it. Actually living with me, day in, day out.
It wasn't like that at first. I'd met Tim at the exurban gym we both went to. The kind of place with lots of weekend dabblers in the weight room. Tim and I stuck out as the guys serious about lifting without being outright meatheads. We became workout buddies and hit it off.
Half the time we'd lift, and Tim would come over to my place after. We'd talk. When it wasn't sports or work shit, the guy would unload his problems, and I'd listen. Tim actually could have used a real therapist, but he didn't have the money for that shit, and even if he did he would have been too proud to go.
So I heard about his shitty marriage, and I'd suck his cock. Then he'd suck mine.
I wasn't closeted, but I wasn't actually out and proud either. That worked for the ex-baseball player, who felt more comfortable coming over. More comfortable kissing and making out. He asked me to take his cherry, so I did. Tim fucking loved that. The next night he made an excuse to come over and get fucked again.
I had a great body. Being a single, gym-obsessed gay dude will do that for you. Tall and well-proportioned. But I couldn't believe I was having sex with Tim on a regular basis. He worked construction jobs, and that kind of manual labor had a way of aging you, quick. But Tim was 26 and goddamn beautiful. Blue eyes, dark brown hair, killer smile, dimples. Muscle on muscle that even the ex-jock padding didn't hide. Incredible ass that I'd bone up looking at.
He stayed over at my place whenever he and his wife had a fight. They were fighting more. We called them Doghouse nights, but the fourth was the last. Tim never went back to his wife.
I'm a red-blooded man, horny as any, I guess, but I was unprepared for Tim's amped up sex drive. I was ten years older than him, so teased me for being an old man. But I don't remember having a libido like his in my 20s. I blew him a couple times a day to take the edge off. And in the evening, every evening, I fucked him in my bed. Our bed, now.
My name is Mark, but Tim called me Cleve, after my middle name. Mostly to tease me, but the nickname stuck as a pet name. I called him Six Gun, or Gunner, since I'd once gotten him to cum six times in 24 hours.
The divorce came, finally. I found out Tim had been dragging his heels to avoid alimony. I told him not to worry about a thing. He had a place to live, and I wasn't gonna charge him any goddamn rent. We celebrated the day the papers were finalized.
The man got in shape. I mean he already had that incredible ex-jock muscle amped up from hard work and the gym. But he lost the beefy thickness and slimmed down. I didn't care, I loved it either way. But he seemed happier, more thrilled with his body and the way I pawed at him.
I don't even know why I didn't realize we were more than live-in fuck buddies, but I was watching Tim make his egg-white omelet one morning and it hit me hard. I was in love with the man. Deeply, tragically in love with him, body and soul.
I started crying.
"Cleve, what the fuck?" he asked. Thinking something was wrong.
"I love you, Gunner," I managed to say.
His concern grew to a smile. "I love you, too, doofus," he grinned as he mock punched my shoulder. "Damn you look like a wuss when you cry," he teased.
"Asshole," I shot back playfully. I knew this was Tim's defense mechanism, and it actually made me laugh.
I stood up and our bodies met as we kissed. Tim's omelet would have to wait. We couldn't get back to the bedroom quick enough. A BJ wasn't gonna cut it. I lubed up, put those strong legs on my shoulders, and entered Tim as we locked eyes.
"Love you, Mark," he hissed as I breached him. "So much."
"God, Tim," I grunted. "Gonna be hard to hold back."
I meant with my orgasm, but Tim took it a different way. "Don't. Fuck me, Cleve. Fuck me hard."
I did. Almost exploratory thrusts to see if he meant it. That ex-baseball jock did. Taking my hard shoves deep into his guts and looking up at me with a silent plea for more. So I fucked rougher. It was intense for him, but just fueled his orgasm as he jerked that thick tool. I pounded to fuck the cum out of him, then pounded to get off myself. It took seconds.
It was the closest thing to make up sex, because Tim and I never fought. He said he'd had a lifetime's worth of fights with his ex, and didn't want any more.
To the outside world we were roommates. If that was the kind of thing that bothered me, I would have moved from our town years ago.
Tim said he missed sex with women sometimes. "If you ever want to Gunner, you should," I told him. "I'm serious," I added when he looked at me skeptically.
He did, a few times. Each time he came back home, quiet. He never talked about it but the next time we fucked he'd ask me to go hard. Eventually he no longer went on Tinder and no longer hooked up with anyone else.
I got used to taking charge of things. Finances, household stuff, setting up retirement savings for Tim. So I was surprised when Tim booked a vacation for us.
"It's our fifth anniversary," he beamed as he showed off the place he'd booked. Not only a gay resort in Palm Springs, but one of those clothing optional places. "Figured we could use a little getaway."
"Anniversary of what?" I asked.
He shrugged. "My divorce papers. At least that's when I stopped pretending."
I didn't realize Tim ever pretended. Then I didn't realize he'd ever stopped.
The vacation was incredible. It was our first time having sex with others. Yeah, a part of me was nervous, but my boyfriend loved showing off his body and being the attention of hot guys. He loved looking at me with a giddy, kid like expression as some muscle dude blew him. His enthusiasm was contagious.
We went back home feeling like something had changed, in a good way.
As much as I craved routine, I had to admit it was a way Tim and I didn't deal with things. But now we mixed it up. He took on more of the household chores, and I tried to be the one to come up with the fun ideas for date night. Tim started going down on me before work, as a surprise. I asked him if he ever wanted to top me. He did, and while he confessed he preferred being on bottom, occasionally we'd switch, or even better, flip.
We were two men who weren't in touch with our emotions. We still didn't know how to talk. We got used to each other's nonverbal way of talking. That's why I wasn't surprised when Tim blurted out what had been bottled up. Out of the blue, while we watching some baseball game.
"We gotta move, Cleve," he said. Frustration in his voice, but I knew it wasn't frustration at me. It was frustration at his life, this town. "I've done the numbers. We'll probably take a hit on the house, but we can make it work."
He looked at me in a challenge. Ready for Mr. Routine to dig his heels in. Or at least ask why.
But I goddamn well knew why. "Yeah," I said.
We didn't fight, but we argued about where. Tim hated the cold, and I hated the heat. Being in construction, he'd find work more easily than me. Besides, I wasn't close to my family, but I hesitated to move too far away.
In the end, I let Tim pick. I was in love with him, now more than ever. And at 31, he was still the most goddamn beautiful man I'd ever known.
We got excited making plans, talking about our future. Then, right there on the living room couch, we made out and fucked.
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Hello to the worst parallel in the world (affectionate)
@respectthepetty made an entire post about symbolism in Moonlight Chicken that was truly excellent and spurred a conversation in the comments that gave birth to another truly excellent post about potential for the central conflict in Moonlight Chicken.
And as I watch episode 3 I cannot help but think about this moment of foreshadowing at the end of episode 1 and the statement it is making.
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Above is a photo of Wen's ID card with the Marina logo printed on the back of the ID and the words "Wen- Moonlight Chicken- Temp Staff" scrawled in marker on top of the plastic ID cover. The words here block out or overshadow Marina, showing Wen's attention and interest lies in the chicken shop above his interest in Marina.
At this point in the show, I had begun to suspect that Wen (and possibly Alan) would be involved in a Marina project that would potentially threaten the Moonlight Chicken Diner. When Episode 2 aired, this conversation between Kaipa and Jim made me think Marina would just be building new food market territory in the zones around where Moonlight Chicken Diner was located, driving up prices of both rent and food and making it impossible for Jim to continue to operate at the prices he is currently charging:
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Enter Episode 3 where we get the Grand Reveal. Marina is planning on expanding their food court (which we already knew), they are not just going to purchase the buildings and put their own vendors in, they are planning on demolishing the existing structures and build something new over top. And what do we learn about the zones Marina is considering? The zones include the Moonlight Chicken Diner
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And here is where the worst (emotionally) visual parallel comes in to play. The Marina logo with the tagline "creating a sustainable future" printed on top right corner of a photo of the Moonlight Chicken Diner. Looming over top of the building like it's waiting for its moment to strike. Even Jim's green truck is parked in front of the diner in this photo. He's in that diner, he's preparing food for the evening when this photo was taken, completely unaware of the fact that someone is outside, ready to tear his chicken shop to the ground. And respectthepetty, if you are seeing this post, I for one think it is very rude of the blue and red color coding to continue even in this photo with the blue wall and red lanterns.
Something something Moonlight Chicken being written over Marina on Wen's ID something something Marina building on top of the rubble of Moonlight Chicken Diner something something.
Anyway, the gay chicken show has consumed my life and we are only 3 episodes in.
I haven't finished episode 3 yet, only got through part one and felt compelled to make this post so unless they already handle it later on in the episode I am very interested in how Jim will react to finding out that he's the other man once Alan show up in full force, or what I will affectionately be calling 'The Cock Fight" but you know...that's a whole other post.
Also, please do NOT get me started on the irony of Marina's tagline being "creating a sustainable future" when they keep driving prices higher and are only interested in demolition of old historic buildings *cough, cough*
Edit: lmao, not me starting part 2 of episode 3 and having them give me the same parallel immediately.
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jayd13 · 2 months
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house m.d characters if they were mcdonalds workers
a vision from my sibling, a maccies worker
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house: he hides in the freezer to hide from cuddy and eats frozen fries. he works drink prep and 100% primes the machine to drink the frappe mix. has thrown drinks at delivery drivers and refuses point blank to give out straws. against devine intervention he is somehow a manager
wilson: a manager who lets house get away with way too much (gay people). he also is the only one dealing with the complaints and is way too polite to the delivery drivers
foreman: requested to switch to morning shift to get away from house. he's been there three years and is losing his mind. he works in the kitchen and thinks he has more power over it than he actually does. hes a crew trainer and is actually really nice to new staff
cameron: she works in food prep and is extremely anal about where everything goes. she slips people pity food and makes sure people get their breaks on time. works day shift
chase: hes been there a while but they keep only putting him on fries. as a result hes joined house in the rebellion™. he keeps getting the blame for missing fries (house ate them in the freezer). flirts with delivery drivers and constantly gets caught taking extra food home after work. works evening shifts. how he still has a job should be scientifically studied. if hes not stuck on fries he gets put on headset and will cry if someone points out the fact hes australian one more time
kutner: house convinced wilson to hire him after doing his interview. works on the fryers and has dropped ice into them before (whether accidentally or on purpose he will never tell). he is the reason why there's been 5 fire alarms this month alone
taub: transferred here from another store. theres speculation thats hes having an affair with one of the regular customers. he works drive through and is actually good at his job. hes cuddys poster boy
thirteen: lobby staff. no one knows how or when she got the job. shes the only one who closes properly. surprisingly gets on well with house. once helped house let rats loose in the store to get a day off. regularly goes into the kitchens even though shes supposed to be doing her job to talk to the others
amber: the ex manager that everyone isnt too fond of and everyone is convinced she only got the job because wilson likes her. got fired after a week of being manager for being rude to delivery drivers and refusing to give them the food until they stopped shoving their phones in her face (they deserved it). still comes in regularly to make a point
masters: uni student who got a job to pay her rent but quit after three months because the pressure (house) got to her. house once made her take an "am i autistic" quiz. worked on front and was very sweet to the customers. followed foreman, chase and taub around like older brothers
park: hasnt been there long but has the spirit and strength of someone whod been there since it opened. works in the kitchens. regularly steals extra food when going on break. hides with house in the freezer to get away from her parents when they come in to check on her. once yelled at a delivery driver because she was trying to leave after a really bad shift and they were in her way
adams: the regular headset worker. the only one who can actually speak clearly enough to be heard by customers. is going slightly deaf from customers yelling down the speakers at her and is somehow still able to interpret what theyre saying. older sister figure to the newer workers
cuddy: business manager and is in charge of scheduling. keeps scheduling wilson, foreman and house on the same shift with the hopes that the former two will control the latter. been here the longest and has had to deal with way too much stuff. known for being strict but still lets people get away with the little things. has to regularly go to front and yell and delivery drivers
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curvylizzie · 10 months
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Let me be open with you for a second
As you all know, my name is Samantha. That name was not given to me by my parents, but rather it is the name I chose for myself.
At the age of 11 I experience my first crush on a male, at the time I thought I was gay but then at the age of 13 I realized I was still able to have crushes in girls. So I realized I was bisexual
The guy I had a crush on was 4 years older than me. And I was extremely fond of him, so much so that I adopted his look, and made it my own. That’s why I love wearing plaid shirts.
I used to disguised this attraction by saying that he was like an older brother to me. That was my excuse but deep down, I had a crush on him just like any 11 year old would have a crush on their babysitter let’s say
But then at 15, my world shattered.
For more context; I was born to immigrants. My parents immigrated to Canada when I was very little, I don’t remember much of our home country. I grew up without grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts.
Because I never had these connections, and because I changed schools so frequently due to dad’s work, I was never able to make friends.
I was a very lonely kid.
My parents and siblings were my whole world, and I came to realize that without them, I would have no purpose
So back to 15. My parents divorced. My Dad called the cops on my mom for false accusations of domestic abused. My mom tried laying charges back for mental domestic abuse as well. I remember talking to one of the cops, asking if I was okay. I don’t remember my response….
My dad left us after that night. He went onto live outside and we rarely ever saw him.
That same year, me 15, my sister 11, and my brother 7 were faced with a choice that should never ever be imposed on any child; mom or dad
If we chose dad, mom threatened to go back to our home country and we would never see her again. But if we chose mom, we still had the possibility to see dad. The choice was clear
And although we chose mom, she made it next to impossible for us to form any sort of bond with dad
I hated her for this, I hated her immensely. She fell into a severe depression, and was taking meds at the times for which she became addicted to.
Every night, for the next year, I had to sleep close to the kitchen. She would walk there in the middle of the night and grab a knife. I caught her once about to commit suicide.
It was the darkest time of my life.
I fell into my own depression. But my life, my well being was put on hold.
I failed most classes in high school but I didn’t care. I had to find a job because mom wouldn’t.
I found something at a daycare, and gained a decent salary to help buy groceries, because of this, I was unable to build up enough credit to attend university. So I gave up on it.
My relationship with mom deteriorated further, and so did mine with my siblings.
Subconsciously I took on the role of a parent figure for them but they did not see it that way. I was trying to protect them from mom, but they didn’t think I was. And so my relationship with my siblings, specially with my brother, broke
My world was shattered. The only people I knew were fighting and moving apart from each other. I fell into a depression that I never bothered to get checked
I attempted suicide myself many times. But everytime I would do it, I would say to myself “they need me. I can’t go yet”
That kept me going
I joined the army to be able to provide even more, my salary was good. I was able to provide with food and rent. I stayed in for 5 years. And I left due to them not paying me on time in several occasions
During this time I had cut dad completely out of my life. Mom kept showing me court documents trying to brainwash me into thinking my dad was and I quote “the worst human being to ever exist and if I don’t see it, I must be as bad as him”
During the summer of 2021 I decided to stop the army work. I enrolled in a trade school for something I had a passion on, but was not my dream job; a mechanic. And in the month of January 2022, I started classes
At this time I had already made this blog without really thinking much of it. But I also had more time to explore my mind.
I realized there was so much more than what I thought, my sexuality for one.
I started wondering why kids in my school always treated me like a girl, saying I’m “too girly to be a boy”. Why I loved wearing long hair and it made me feel better about myself. Why wearing a towel as a skirt made me feel nice
I talked to a couple of people and then realized, I might be trans.
May 25, 2022. I start a discord server, for which people rapidly started joining.
I was this enigmatic server owner people knew next to nothing about. Some started thinking that I was a woman behind the screen, for the way I talked and treated others in and I quote “a motherly way”
This made me feel better, and made me realized finally; I was a trans woman.
With that in mind, I knew if I told my family, they would not accept it. So I went months practicing makeup, dressing the way I wanted to dress, all in secret.
Moving to December 2022. My sister showed interest in what’s inside my head. I came out to her. I told her everything and she said “I did not know you had all this built up. Why didn’t you say anything?” Because nobody ever asked.
The thoughts of suicide started creeping up again. My friends online will remember this, and thank you again for saving me.
January 2023, I tell mom. And I tell dad. My dad at this point lives in a different province. I never see him anymore
Mom was not accepting of me, but she assured me that she would still love me, but would rather see me in boy clothes.
With all this, my family started distancing themselves because they could not believe that I was trans. Or rather they just didn’t wanna accept it.
I felt lonely
I felt scared
I felt anxious
I wanted to die
I had no more reason to keep living. My family didn’t want me around.
Last night… I could not see the light anymore. I don’t have a family to keep working for, they were my world and now they don’t want me.
I felt lonelier than I’ve ever felt before in my life. Ever.
I cried, and I screamed. My sister said to “submit to God” and brushed me aside
I walked up to my apartment. I grabbed a knife.. I looked at it for 30 minutes, trying to find a reason to stay. I couldn’t find one.
I placed the knife to my heart, but couldn’t do it. I layed on the floor, crying. And that’s when my brother came in, he was looking for something. And he found me. Asked me if I was okay, I said no…
I grabbed the knife once again, and he saw what I was doing, he took it away from me, and sat with me.
He saved my life last night.
When you lose a friend irl, you have at least the luxury of knowing, but someone online… they just wouldn’t show up anymore and you wouldn’t be able to know if they’re still around anymore or not.
Im sorry to all of you for almost doing that.
My life has been one with so much loneliness, I would never ever wish this on anyone. Ever. That is why I focus on helping others socialize, that is why that whenever someone comes to me for advice or because they need someone, I drop whatever the hell im doing, even if I’m crying my eyes out and go to talk to them.
I do so much, and rarely I ever get anything in return. But that is fine by me, because I’ve been able to build a community of people who now not only they follow this example, they send messages to me re-affirming what I believed; that I’ve saved them.
So thank you all for reading up to the end of this post. It was long and I won’t lie. But I had to make it.
You guys have helped me find myself, and have saved me before.
I promise to work on myself everyday so to stay with you all for as long as possible
Sam
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twtd11 · 6 months
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Tumblr, it is time. It is time for me to tell you about this year’s lesbian hallmark-esque movie from Tello Films. To wit:
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A Holiday “I Do”
Much like Christmas at the Ranch, which I talked about last year, this movie is, well, more charming than good. Also like Christmas at the Ranch, it takes place at a horse ranch. Or farm? Or stables? It’s never quite clear except that they make some money from giving riding lessons.
Somehow, as has been pointed out to me, the marketing for this film completely ignores the whole horse aspect of the movie. Maybe because they didn’t want the audience to think it was Christmas at the Ranch 2.0? Which is fair considering that is, in fact, basically what it is. Maybe Tello Films has a hook up with some horse people?
Anyway, we have our lead, Jane. Here’s the sich with Jane: Jane had big career aspirations but she met a boy, thought she fell in love, had a baby, then divorced the boy because she realized she was gay. She and the daughter moved in with mom when Jane’s dad died. I can’t remember the daughter’s name and IMDb isn’t helping me out here, so I’m just going to call her the kid.
The kid likes to say droll, sophisticated, self-aware things that sound exactly like what you expect a kid to sound like in a movie about lesbians made by queer people, but which have no relation to how kids actually talk. Yes, kids can be droll and sophisticated and self-aware, but this kid’s voice was 100% constructed by an adult who maybe hasn’t spent a lot of time around kids. I mean, I haven’t spent a lot of time around kids that age either, but I’m pretty sure they don’t sound like this kid. But still, the kid is funny most of the time, so it kinda works.
Back to the plot:
So Jane is alone and lonely and there’s an obligatory speed dating scene where we meet a bunch of stereotypical lesbians which wants to be funnier than it actually is. She goes home and laments her singlehood. But she can’t lament for too long because Jane’s ex-husband and his new fiancée are about to arrive in town. They’re in town to get married and Jane is in charge of the bachelor party. You see, the ex husband is also Jane’s best friend.
Here’s a question (which is never answered): if the ex-husband’s only connection to this small town is that his ex-wife lives there, why did he choose to have his wedding there? We never get an answer for that question.
After all of that set up, I finally get to introduce the love interest. Her name is Sue, and she’s the lovely couple’s wedding planner!
To facilitate shenanigans, the lovely couple goes off to the airport to pick up the fiancée’s parents and they get stuck there overnight because of the snow. This means that the bride isn’t there to taste the catering and do other things the bride should do before the big day (personally, I’d think you’d want to taste the cake and the catering more than a day before your wedding, but I’ve never gotten married so what do I know?) Jane, who is instantly enamored of Sue, happily fills in as the bride to taste various foods. They get side tracked with sledding and a mid day yoga break (who stops in the middle of their work project and is like, yes, I’ll go to a random yoga class now?).
There are several quirky side characters that play various parts in the plot. Some of them come off better than others. The evil banker who isn’t really evil because we’re undermining that trope, was particularly a stand out for me. She knew her job and she was totally in.
I’ll leave the conflict/climax/resolution to you, dear reader, should you feel the need to spend $7 to rent it. I feel like it was worth my money.
And in another parallel with Christmas at the Ranch, I spent most of the movie wanting the leads to kiss and then when they actually got to this kiss, damn it was awkward.
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xeansicemane · 3 months
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If I may, for a moment, politics on main
"You can't keep demolishing morale, do you want Trump again? He'll destroy democracy"
Don't you fucking get it. Of course, my gay-married enby seeking HRT ass would be dead in the world Trump proposes.
I'm fucking pissed because the only thing the Democrats care to offer is a slightly nicer coat of paint on the tanks that will roll over the bones of my friends and my kin.
Biden is placidly smiling while selling weapons to Israel to prosecute a genocide. He's starting ANOTHER bombing campaign in Yemen because some people had the temerity to slow down some cargo.
Capital can't be resisted, it cannot be inconvenienced. Rent is skyrocketing, food prices are out of control, my generation and the next are drowning in debt. The man has all the levers of power in his hands and he refuses to help.
I'm angry because I'm being told I should be grateful, thankful for the bare godsdamned minimum. Biden wouldn't call me a tranny to my face but he's not helping. We're being iced out of public life and he's just waving his hands and muttering something about states' rights.
The federal government is in charge, he has the power to help and he isn't.
Stop acting like I should grovel and genuflect for the privilege of not being hurt right now.
The Dems refuse to dismantle the gun the Republicans aim at us because it's always beneficial to them to have that threat in their back pocket.
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sparxaf · 1 year
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TSIME: Meet Bobby's Crew (part 1)
One of my favorite parts of writing is actually just character creation. I love knowing exactly what they look like and all kinds of fun details about them, even if those details never end up in the actual story. So I figure, since I wasted tons of time making long character profiles for them, I figured I might as well write them up, make them pretty, and share them. Why am I doing this? Because sharing is caring. Duh. Defnitely not because I'm avoiding editing. How dare you?
ANYWAY. In this post we're meeting Bobby's best friend, his husband, and their daughter.
Meet Louis:
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Interesting facts:
🗸 Louis is a loving, generous soul and does not charge Bobby rent. But he does occassionally ask for baked goods and Bobby always obliges.
🗸 Before they even got engaged, he insisted on paying for all of Dean's sick mum's housing and care, to take the stress off of his beloved.
🗸 He's a homebody who hates traveling. He finds it stressful and doesn't like feeling unmoored. He decided against going to a prestigious culinary school because he didn't want to leave Glasgow.
🗸 He and Lili get along because they're both type-A snugglers.
🗸 Comes from a wealthy family. His mother is a very successful estate agent and his father was a popular rugger (now retired). He's an only child.
🗸 His father, who grew up working class, decided that Louis should go to public school so he'd experience the real world outside of their wealthy bubble.
🗸 In school Louis was routinely, sometimes viciously bullied for being posh. Something he never told his family. But he didn't come out until he was twenty years old because he feared even more bullying for being gay. His parents had already guessed and gave him nothing but love and support.
🗸 Louis was not happy when Bobby added Jonno to their friend group in P6 and even less happy when Fenella was added when they were adults. He puts up with them because he loves Bobby and just accepts that his best friend is the type who brings mangy strays home, thinking they're beautiful. And who is Louis to tell him they're not? That said, they're not all mingin'. He adores Maitland and Nivaan.
Meet Dean:
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Interesting facts: (there's a lot for Dean)
🗸 Despite being so tall and muscular, Dean is a fluffy bunny of a man. Very sentimental and kind. He will not kill bugs. If Louis wants a spider squashed, he's on his own.
🗸 He has four siblings, one sister and three brothers. He was the youngest. His home life was not great. His family was incredibly poor and his dad was abusive, sexist, and homophobic (among other award-winning personality traits). His mother was loving, but very passive and preferred not to rock the boat.
🗸 When he was fourteen he was trying to make sense of his bisexuality, so he confided in his mum. One of his older brothers overheard and told their dad. To say it was handled poorly would be an understatment. Hurt, scared, and unwelcome in his home, he moved in with his sister, an artist who lives in Rochdale. He says she is the person who actually raised him to be a decent person.
🗸 His mum and dad divorced when she had two strokes and his fuckface father wasn't interested in caring for her. Dean routinely comes down to Norfolk to take care of her affairs as she didn't want to move. His brothers do care about their mum, but theyre mostly skivers who don't know how to be helpful. His sister keeps in contact with Dean, but she has no interest in being near the the rest of the family so he's the only one taking care of his mum.
🗸 His dad and brothers actually have the nerve to try demanding money and help from him, because they know Louis is wealthy. Never mind that they have not supported their marriage and have never said a kind word to either of them. Dean has never given them a dime.
🗸 He has never and will never ever admit this to anyone, but the night he met Bobby at the pub, he assumed the Scot was grafting and he was 100% ready to take him back to his hotel room. So he was confused when Bobby told him he'd called his friend Louis and he was coming to the pub to meet Dean. Then Louis showed up and Dean could hardly speak because he was so instantly and completely smitten. It was weeks later that he realized Bobby was just obliviously flirtatious with everyone.
MEET ISLA:
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Interesting facts:
🗸 There are none. She's three. Toddlers are generally low on interesting backstory.
Stay tuned for part 2 to meet Maitland, Fen, Nivaan, Jonno, and Samantha!
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heartofstanding · 10 months
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best idea ever starter kit.
dysentery: it (probably) killed them both, 7 years apart, so it's surest way to split this ship up and make it tragic and reunite them.
Biting. Henry V will bite.
omg they were tomb mates: probably not but there's a story that's Courtenay's body was actually found within Henry V's tomb. just two dudes sharing a tomb...
Oxford university: Courtenay was chancellor of Oxford and had a fairly... interesting career that included fleeing from Lollard students attacking his lodgings and being threatened by the Archbishop of Canterbury with excommunication by resisting his attempts to root heresy out (he also threatened to excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury in turn). He also started efforts to establish a library at Oxford that was assisted by Henry. Also, there's a story that Henry V studied at Oxford that's still perpetuated by Oxford but historians don't think that's true.
booty shorts. In Lenten purple with a Lenten message. Courtenay is a bishop, after all.
The hottie and the nottie. Richard Courtenay was reputedly pretty, Henry V was not.
Money problems. Henry V was pretty broke for most of his time as Prince of Wales, probably because his father was pretty broke as king. Things did not really improve when Henry was in charge of the finances but at least he had experience in living life on a shoe-string. Courtenay was the treasurer of Henry's household as king. Courtenay also had money problems. He died owing Henry money. He owed Oxford money for his room rent. He spent so much while on embassy in France (on vases! and planetary calculators!) that he had to borrow money to go home.
Herbert. Is a weird little dog on the tomb of William Courtenay, Archbishop of Canterbury and Courtenay's uncle and foster-father. He probably had nothing to do with Courtenay/Henry but we felt like he had to be involved. (n.b. I made up his name.)
Monster cans. Sadly, Henry and Courtenay died before they could discover coffee or energy drinks but I like to think in a modern AU, they would be the Eldritch beings whose coffee orders terrify baristas and would drink Monster and only Monster when they weren't terrifying baristas.
Out of a most tender love... here's the anonymous author of the Gesta Henrici Quinti on Courtenay's death and Henry's order for him to be buried in the shrine of Edward the Confessor.
The Prick of Conscience. A serious medieval religious text. Why are you laughing.
Ottery St Mary. Courtenay granted a manor to the church at Ottery St Mary so that they would celebrate a mass daily for his and Henry's good estate and for their souls after death. He granted this three months before he died. 🥺
astrology. Courtenay was into it (or used it as a cover for his spying on the French), Henry was suspicious of it.
Swans. Both of them were descended from the de Bohuns and both appear to have used the swan badge for themselves.
face hole. Henry took an arrow to the face (to the depth of 6 inches) at the Battle of Shrewsbury.
embracing in the fires of hell. so, yes, they were medieval Catholics which probably means they had a medieval Catholics understanding of sin. Still, at least when you're burning in the fires of hell, you're still cuddling your bestie <3
matching rings. On the left, the gold relic ring that was found in Courtenay's grave set with an oval ruby. On the right, a detail of Henry V's hands in the earliest known copy of his portrait in which he wears a gold ring set with an oval ring. Is it the same ring or did they just have matching rings? Who knows.
Tomb of Henry V. see above, re: tomb sharing. Courtenay is buried under the steps up to the chantry chapel so his grave is also in this picture.
Patron saints. It's a picture of St Sebastian (gay icon) and St George (Henry's patron saint). I like to think that Henry had a lot of thoughts about St Sebastian given the whole arrow to the face thing.
One of the most loving and the dearest of the king's friends. The author of the Gesta Henrici Quinti on Courtenay.
Tennis balls. The tennis ball incident, or something like it, probably did happen and given Courtenay was closely involved in Henry's embassies in France, he probably knew All About It.
Bad hair. Henry's got the bowl cut, Courtenay probably had the bowl cut with tonsure. I like to think Courtenay made it work but lbr who did.
Two idiots, one hole. It them ❤️
Matching t-shirts. Henry is the cheetah that's threatening to go crazy, Courtenay the dog that's keeping him from going crazy in captivity. You wouldn't separate them, would you?
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acertainmoshke · 10 months
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Time Traveling Anthropologists update
In honor of having 2 people on my tag list, meaning it now meets the actual definition of a list, I thought I’d let y’all know where I am on this project.
Part 1: Actual Writing
I am deep into chapter 2. Chapter 1 covered Esther’s first day of work. We learned a bit about how the world works in the 2080’s and met her team. This book takes place almost entirely in the past, but future volumes will explore the future more. So, let’s meet the team!
Esther Dahan: 24 years old. The POV character. Esther is outgoing and a bit awkward. She can be intense and has something of a temper but cares deeply about equity. She is the team linguist, unofficial fighting/weapons expert, and generally ends up being in charge of daily life routines. She speaks 6 languages fluently but is also in charge of collecting linguistic rules for languages that no one knows today. She’s Jewish—there are no borders anymore, but her great-grandparents on her mother’s side were from Russia and her father’s family was from Israel. She’s bisexual. When not in the past, she lives with her parents because renting an apartment only to give it up every year or two would be impractical.
Tony Mourad: 24 years old. He is a bit goofier, fond of lightening the mood, but can also be genuine. Like Esther, he’s pretty loud in general and intense about things he cares about. They will become best friends over the course of this book. He is the expert on fashion, fabric, and and manufacturing history. His hobby is the history of clocks and calendars. He is Muslim and, though he grew up in LA, his family is Iraqi and his mom was born there (when it was still Iraq; the no borders thing is pretty recent). He’s gay and currently rents a small house with his brother, which his wages continue to help with when he’s gone for work.
Valentina Pérez: 25 years old. In this book she’s generally fairly grumpy, distant, and cool. There are reasons for this and they are Spoilers and she’ll be less so in the future. She mostly keeps to herself and is much less interested in the studies they’re doing than her teammates. Her job isn’t even anthropological; she’s the team scientist. This involves multiple jobs actually that they’re just lucky they have a single person qualified for all of them. Her main duties involve sending data home using the circuits in the Time Machine, doing general maintenance on it, and keeping them healthy. She is not a doctor but she has studied immunology and is in charge of vaccines, basic medical care, and the decision when a situation requires returning early for proper care. However, most of those jobs aren’t constant, so she’s always getting drawn into the work of the others and having to observe or write up things for them. She’s a lesbian, has a 2-year-old daughter, and has been married for 7 months to her wife. She’s from Cuba and learned English in college. Their office is based in New York, so their work is mostly in English, but widespread speaking of other languages is more acceptable, so around the office there are plenty of people she chats in Spanish to.
Minerva Myerson: 39 years old. Unlike the others, she isn’t new to the office but joined at its inception 6 years ago. She has been on 3 previous missions and was made a team leader when the religious studies department expanded. She’s generally good humored, charming, and has a fairly loose leadership style. She does get snappy when people break the rules that are there for good reasons, but is otherwise fairly even tempered. Yes this is a little loose and I will develop her character more soon. Her specialization is food history, including how food fits into cultural contexts and the expectations surrounding eating. She’s also formatting and compiling the ethnography, since she has previous experience. She is a black trans woman from New Orleans who lives alone with no kids so she actually does rent apartments temporarily in between time traveling. I think she’s straight, but again am still developing her character.
Chapter 2 has a time skip—16 months in their personal time and 4 months into their time traveling mission. So far we’ve explored the city of Samandar a little, markets and the walls and the way houses work. They have a fairly expositional team meeting and then, a couple days later, Esther is taken by her 3 unofficial “guides” on an expedition to meet warriors returning from the capital of Atil. Her guides are 3 12-year-old girls largely because they have the time and interest to share their lifestyle with a foreign stranger. Also because I thought it would be funny to have 9th century horse girls. So they go to the corral and discuss horse care, which I 100% made up but I think is plausible. Next the men will return and Esther will start talking to Boker largely to fact check the kids’ excited reports on the way warriors work.
Part 2: Outlining
I split the plot into 3 sections: murder, mystery, and [redacted]. I finished the outline for the first part, which actually focuses on anthropology and romance and culminates in the murder, and now I’m working on the second part. As I said before, I haven’t written a mystery before and I think some hints and evidence are going to probably be added in later drafts. I have, though, come up with the first 2 suspects and the actual guilty party. I’m just beginning to figure out who says what and what evidence they discover.
Thank you for listening if you made it to the end of this post! I just realized I haven’t talked much about it yet since I’ve been writing.
Tag list: @amielbjacobs @kingkendrick7
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