#i can literally never be enough

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

everytime I'm like "wow I wanna have those kinda friends and be in those kinda groups!" it never works out and I either get groomed or harrassed by men or cancelled by women so I've concluded im like an IRL computer virus that ruins everything and fundementally cannot Be somewhere much less belong and it's better if I simply. don't! simply not be!

#i was in this group that i really really loved despite it being abusive as fuckkk to me n really .. pedophilic lol #and i wasnt the one to really leave it even i forgave them for everything #but even in that group that was my ideal image of a friends group that i was really so glad i was in i #got told to my face that without me. no dramas wouldve happened and they all would be alright and happy #... mutliple times. lol #i asked if i was still their friend and got a pause then a 'just.. dont do that anymore' #that being daring to call out their 24 yo friend for sending me inappropriate texts and images when i was 13 #and calling out someone who was 24/7 actually abusive to me .. and a BUNCH of stuff #sighs .. :" #i can literally never be enough #& when i had boundaries and realized my self worth i became a dangerous radfem. a horrid TERF who wishes to harm everyone!! that never #cared or was nice to any of us ! #sorry for rambling. point being next person to tell me to kill myself ill agree and actually do it

[clouvu]

Genshin catgirl yuri on the brain

#genshin impact #kirara #lynette #kiranette #back at it again drawing a delusional side pairing I like just to never draw them again <3 #just cant believe after 10000 years genshin finally gave us the opportunity to have a real authentic catgirl x catgirl yuri pairing #Bonus points for one of them being relatively normal to human society and the other fully embracing what it means to be a catgirl #:I x :3 dynamic real #random side note its crazy the influx of activity im getting now on my feed because after harassing tunglr support my shadow ban is no more #so welcome new followers im literally the same here as i am on twitter #just significantly more annoying because i can and will scream in the tags #ANYWAYS back to my arledrone delusions soon enough

[tariah23]

oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’

Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.

Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.

They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.

Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?

#:( #it’s like what can you do #as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios #they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact #with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat) #i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago #because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga #and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl #like right after that #and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾‍♀️? #because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol #like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about #the stuff that effects you #tkf replies #karmelarts #they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them #they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a #personality trait) #notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no #matter how hot and popular that show might be #you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here #all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so #sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl

[nevertheless-moving]

thinking about how fucking impossible it would be to pine secretly after someone on roshar. Like even if we assume that passionspren are only summoned by the most intense love and/or horniness - that's almost worse isn't it? Because you wouldn't be able to laugh it off like 'haha just a passing thought. Whoops again? Hahaha oh I suppose I have a little crush'

Anyway Kaladin doing one of his canonical epic hero glowing stunts with his canonical destroyed/soaked clothing (what. the man is constantly avoiding shardblades and arrows by a hairsbreath and flying around In Highstorms. The only reason he would even have pants at the end of WOR after the everstorm/highstorm fight is because we're following comic book rules- there's no way this man isn't going through clothes faster than James T Kirk - even if he's not his uniform shirt is WHITE and -)

ANYWAY kaladin having one of his Protaganist Moments and like. There is less than than zero time between the 'Oh. Oh.' Moment and Eventual Feelings Reveal because blorbo B is very visibly displaying a personified manifestation of intense romantic adoration.

#Stormlight archive #Kaladin stormblessed #Words of radiance #I've never so contendly accepted and incorporated every possible ship and aroace headcanon into my belief system for a singular character #I'm like the wind #I think it's the combination of #A) literally every person who spends more than 5 minutes around Kaladin falls at least a little in love with him #so that's at least one side that's easy enough to grow upon #And #B) Kaladin loves and wants to protect every person he spends more than 5 minutes around #Distinction between in love and love but like. #Yeah thats enough for nearly any ship ranging from qpr to pwp to be presented to me and me to go hm yeah I can see that #Also? More importantly- #Many ships - hilarious if true #Like the wind I say #Everybody loves kaladin #Nevertheless meta #cosmere #nevertheless cosmere

[b4kuch1n]

hahaha wheee haha

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions #as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit #and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square #man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink #three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city! #still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it #well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy #tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long #I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing #if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too #I realized I missed that... #also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch #got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr #now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that #have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

#asks #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #marcille donato #manga panel analysis #this is probably riddled with typos sorry #readmore cut bc it got long lmao #i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me #bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling. #the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her #the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc. #otherwise it just.. #literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all #the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level #she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are #she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments #its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up #but who doesn't yknow #i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there #the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards #it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around #she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people #i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but #dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right. #a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all #that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment #the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are #always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home #and dungeon meshi gets that. #edit: cleaned it up a little

[utilitycaster]

You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.

That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?

Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?

And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"

Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?

#i've got a lot to do today so I think I'm done posting but #cr spoilers #i called that this particular cohort of fans had empathy only for those like them and were terrified of player agency like. 18 mos ago #and i have never been proven wrong. zero analysis just a constant demand that everyone coddle their feelings and confirm their biases #literally will straight up fabricate lore and cry you're disrespecting a pretend person for not including it in your considerations #absolutely SHIT understanding of actual lore. utter incapacity to follow a logical throughline to its conclusion #it's like. wow. wonder why you're so focused on hypocrisy and you overreact to the word selfish #the reason they hate or fear orym (they say they don't...but that just means they want him to go to a reeducation camp instead of die) #is bc i think they are truly terrified of the idea that people can not just hold opinions that are against theirs but stand fast by them #easier to stan the villain because then they die and you can feel wronged and betrayed and wallow in a sense of continual victimhood #than to like a character who might last long enough to call you the idiot and asshole that you are #but it's also funny bc literally if orym weren't there in the latest convo the conclusion is the same. #ashton's had the same opinion of the vanguard the whole time (and it's not positive) but that's not under scrutiny #probably bc it doesn't allow people to be ghoulish in the most cringeworthy way possible

[stormy-nights-are-best]

Posting this again in its own post. I think it's a fun concept, because calls are kinda like ninpo communication

#when you've played sky for long enough a simple HONK can communicate everything #i don't even know how. i have no idea how my sky friends and i understand each other's calls flawlessly #but it's a honk and the kid i've been playing with for the past year whose name i've never asked knows my plan step by step #this is kinda old btw so sorry for donnie's face i swear i've gotten better at snoots #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donnie rottmnt #sky children of the light #funnier yet that's a moth kid so honking is literally all they can do for him #masterpiece #sky don

[iamthe-walnut]

Simon from Fionna and Cake rlly got me feeling some typa way😔 Betty and Simon is just the perfect tragic couple that fuels me

It would have helped if I added some more dialogue stuff from Simon but I rlly couldn't be assed to think of more context n shit...

If it isn't obvious, I based this off a scene between Power and Denji in Chainsaw man

I rlly wanna draw more Golbetty tho

#iamthe-walnut fanart #shes not trying to be mean its just ANGST! #i literally didnt even finish adventure time tho but fionna and cake is still super good holy shit #atleast i was able to understand it enough #AHHH I THINK I HAVE SIMON BRAINROT I LOVE THAT OLD MAN #i wanna take care of him😭 #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #betty grof #Golbetty #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake fanart #artists on tumblr #its not me if i dont reference chainsaw man #simon petrikov fanart #it actually fucking hurts knowing that they can never actually be together #adventure time #adventure time fanart #petrigrof

[cerise-on-top]

hi<3 if you can, can you do valeria and laswell with a gothic s/o? like someone who likes darker/morbid things and things like that! love your blog by the way! it’s definitely my favorite blog to come look at after a long ass day <333

Hey there! Sorry, but I couldn't really find too much on what counts as dark and morbid in the goth scene, so I wrote more general HCs, I hope that's alright still ^^;

Valeria and Laswell with a Gothic!S/O

Valeria: She’d most definitely be intrigued, but not too much. In all honesty, she doesn’t know too much about the subculture, she’s never really met a goth who was clearly one. However, if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters to her. While she won’t really know too many bands, or any at all, she’d be more than happy to listen to a few if you want her to. Yes, she won’t always have the time, but when she isn’t too busy she could put on some songs by Joy Division or The Cure, she really doesn’t mind. She can vibe to that sort of music, even if it isn’t her favorite. You’re more than welcome to discuss the literature with her, though. She’s probably never read a single gothic literature book, but she can buy you some. Anything from poetry to a regular novel, it’s quite alright. While she won’t be the best person to go to when it comes to discussing those, she’ll support you either way. However, something she could definitely enjoy would be going clothes shopping with you. The fashion is kind of nice, she has to admit, so she’d be more than happy to buy you whatever garments you desire. Will go out of her way to find something you might like as well. I can’t see her being too much into the history of goth culture, though. It’s nice that you are a goth, if you want to tell her about it, then you can and she’ll listen to you, but she likely doesn’t have the time to research everything by herself. Tell her about its roots and she can definitely appreciate you going against what’s mainstream and how it all came to be. She’s a very defiant and rebellious woman herself, so she definitely gets it.

Laswell: She knows so many people, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has worked with goths before. And even if she hasn’t directly, she’s likely seen quite a few walking around the city. She usually grows worried for them in summer since their attire is black, which makes it quite hot. However, she’d be very intrigued by you and your subculture. It’s something very near and dear to you, so she would put in the effort to learn about your history. Will give some classic bands a listen as well. She just really wants to have something to talk about with you. Besides, she gets to learn more about you. While she may not be the biggest fan of your interest in death, considering she’s surrounded by it more often than not, she’d be more than happy to indulge anything else it has to offer. Laswell spent a good chunk of life left alone with her thoughts, so she definitely knows a thing or two about melancholy, the state of the world and introspection. Maybe not in the same way you do, but she can definitely keep up in a conversation. She’s likely also unintentionally read some of the more popular gothic novels out there and liked them, so she’d make for a good discussion partner as well. While she doesn’t particularly understand the need to make your face completely white, she doesn’t mind. In fact, she thinks it looks quite cool, even if it’s not for her. However, the fashion in and of itself looks really good to her. Again, she wouldn’t want to wear it, but something about Victorian and Edwardian fashion has a certain something to it that she can’t quite place. Like Valeria, she’ll definitely buy you things she thinks you might like. Anything from a suit or a corset to a book about poetry. Beware, though, she will read the books before you can.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #I am so incredibly tired so I'm sorry if this is bad #the day I'm writing this is Monday and I worked for nine hours today which wasn't very fun #I'll be working for nine hours tomorrow again and I'm not looking forward to that but I need that overtime #I've never met a goth before so I don't even know anyone I could ask about it #I know an emo or two but that's not the same #still I gave the music a listen and I gotta say it sounds pretty good #I can see Valeria indulging you in your morbid things though. if you collect animal bones she can definitely acquire some #whether it be through roadkill or ethically killed animals #Laswell wouldn't be too big of a fan of having bones at home but she won't stop you either #she'll just tell you to keep them somewhere she won't necessarily have to see them all the time #she's not squeamish but she prefers to not think about death too much outside of work. she gets enough of it on the daily #Laswell would be more media literate than Valeria though. she's definitely analyzed some poems for fun when she was younger #Valeria doesn't have the time to read too much into something. or read a book at all. a poem maybe but that's it she won't read into it

[pinnithin]

enver gortash fascinates me from the perspective of his relationship with the dark urge because like, as far as i know his alliance with them is one of the very few he didn’t actively despise. the guy was sold into slavery by his own parents (who tried to justify it by saying their child was a hateful monster and anyone would have done the same) and spent his formative years employed by a devil who gets off on gratuitous levels of suffering and manipulation. and then once he's escaped that and built himself up so he can never be used and enslaved again he meets this bhaalspawn who also had to adapt and survive a violent and manipulative environment for years by becoming the monsters who raised them.

gortash sees how the dark urge has risen to command armies and slaughter hundreds in the same way he outfoxed raphael and ruthlessly controls the people in his employ, and after earning and owning his reputation as a tyrant heres another person who might actually have like, a shared lived experience. not exactly a friend, because people like them can't afford to have friends, but someone who at least understands. and he willingly works with them on this plan to enslave the sword coast and agrees to share power with them.

and then orin lobotomizes them, puts a tadpole in their head, and leaves them for dead at moonrise.

like, can you imagine. youre working with the first person you see eye to eye with and prooooobably arent plotting to actively sabotage (or, at least would hesitate to do so) and the rug just gets yanked out from under them by their own sister, and now you're stuck with her because the plan still has to move along. and as the days go by a group of adventurers start to screw up your plot right when baldur's gate is within your grasp, and you learn that among them is your old almost-friend who you actually liked and respected - and they have no memory of you whatsoever. oh, and on top of that they're rolling with people you've actively fucked over and want to kick your ass.

did it hurt for him to learn this? did he ever think about how things could have been different? did he think, you were supposed to be my ally, my friend, someone who actually understands that becoming a monster is the only way to keep yourself safe and in control. we were going to rule together. and now you're ride or die with this squad of people you've only known for a few weeks at best, and you want me dead. you don't even remember me. you don't even remember yourself.

#thinking about it from my durge's perspective hurts kinda #because losing their memory is the only thing that freed them enough to trust the people around them #and after meeting gortash and learning their history - and how they used to be friends #they probably thought a lot about how things could have been different if there wasnt a literal elder brain under his enslavement #like man if you werent actively in the way of saving the literal world maybe we could have talked about this #if i can overcome a lifetime of senseless slaughter and learn to love i wonder if you can too #but we'll never know #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #the dark urge #enver gortash #im sure someone has talked about this already but ive just been thinking about it a lot ig #the what-if-ness of it all #long post #pin talks #bg3 gortash

[quietwingsinthesky]

journey’s end au where the doctor tries to kick everyone off the TARDIS and they just go, ‘???? no?’ and won’t leave. can’t be stupid and think everyone will leave you when they won’t get out of your house.

#the doctor is simultaneously so happy about this and SO annoyed. get out of his house!!! this is his tardis!!!! #(tentoo voice) OUR tardis. (doctor voice) MY TARDIS!!!!! #rose and martha and donna and jack are literally having a girls night in the same room as this argument #sarah jane was invited but did not join them. autisms. #however mickey and her have been bonding and the doctor feels so betrayed. sarah jane is supposed to be on his side!!! #can’t even complain to the metal dog. k-9 is still busy. #(sarah jane voice) oh i should invite luke and his friends- (doctor voice) NO CHILDREN ON MY SHIP #((tentoo voice. from the other room.) OUR ship) #jack manages to sneak ianto and gwen on board before sarah jane gets the bannerman gang in simply because torchwood is easier wrangled than #literal children (not saying much) #how does gwen manage to sneak rhys on that one time? no one’s really sure. he didn’t stay on very long but it was long enough for jack to #lose a bet. #i think only jackie leaves but NOT before she and tentoo and rose have established interdimensional facetime so that she can phone her #daughter and her son-in-law and her guy-who-her-son-in-law-is-cloned-from #(doctor voice) donna i need to erase ur memories ur brain will explode otherwise (rose from across the room) hey didnt i absorb something #that would explode my brain once. i still have my memories. (donna voice) YEAH DOCTOR CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT???? #donna metacrisis is solved because jack says ‘fuck it let me eat the metacrisis somehow it probably wont kill me’ and then he glows for like #a week but he’s fine. #he is literally never getting rid of any of them. get found family-ed idiot #(god wait funniest fucking thing if end of time happens here and the master’s plans are completely derailed because he gets tackled by seven #different companions. kicking him while he’s on the ground while the doctor goes D:) #doctor who #tardis family au

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you. #I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it. #I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’ #that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

[keira-draws]

"𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩...𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦?" "𝙞 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬."

#moon knight fanart #marc spector #scene redraw #fanart #steven grant #jake lockley #guys guys guys #this scene is SO good #i can literally never get enough of it #keira draws

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on wait im unable to Scribble rn but i had this Lights Out interaction in my head and i need to put it somewhere before i forget. Okay so the scene is Howdy, Poppy, Frank, and Wally are all having quiet time in the post office. just vibing.

Howdy: i'm going to say something harsh

Poppy: that's alright. we understand <3

Frank: go ahead, it's better than bottling it up

Howdy:

Howdy, near tears: you're all so boring i think it's actually killing me

Poppy / Frank / Wally: ...

#he would Kill for one of barnaby's jokes #i imagine that when wally announces someone else has woken up howdy sprints through the darkness to the storage room #so so ready to have his Pal™️ back. someone with a sense of humor! someone he can really talk to! Enrichment for the Enclosure! #and then he gets there and its. its fucking eddie #he would break down sobbing... #he'd hold a completely uncalled for grudge <3 #wh lights out au #of course wally would take it literally and start trying to remember jokes barnaby taught him #of course its been so long that he doesnt remember any but hes Trying #at least his attempts confuse howdy enough to bring Some sort of... entertainment? can it be called that? #i think all three of em would try to either make jokes or deeper conversation with howdy #but hes just too fast and punny for them... they cant keep up or they cant relate i think #at least he and poppy can hold conversations about their large families #until they remember that hey! those families were fake memories! they never even existed! #and then they get really sad. wally tells a horribly butchered joke & frank tries to distract them with bug/plant facts

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind