#i am not normal about these old men

[countesspetofi]

RETROCRUSH: WILLIAM HOLDEN (1918-1981)

#william holden #retrocrush #well hello sir #actor #old hollywood #the bridge on the river kwai #invisible stripes #picnic #network #dear ruth #kim novak #1950s movies #1960s movies #1970s movies #i am not normal about these old men

[celestialholz]

Today in Gay People: Hassel.

There's something I've noticed about our resident art teacher, and that's... well, Flapple. I mean, we all know how gay the whole Applin deal is, but... well, it's where it is that's particularly interesting.

This is Steven Stone's team.

This is Cynthia's team...

This is Wallace's team...

I could go on. (And yes, I'm using champions because, like Hassel, they're important, powerful NPCs with a proper team, and let's be real here, Hassel is five minutes, that Tournament Dragonite and a fuck to give away from kicking Geeta out of his office.)

But the point here is... well, that penultimate slot. The fifth slot in a champion's team - or fourth, in Hassel's case - is reserved for the vice-captain role. It's the Pokemon hardest to take down before the ace, meant to weaken you up - the secondary signature mon. We see here with Milotic - defence for days, Marvel Scale, offensive too. And we see it with Armaldo - excellent attack, difficult type. And then we see it with Gyrados - Dragon Dance, Earthquake, power. Utility. That second-to-last slot is designed to weaken you up for the finale, the real powerhouse of the squad. Leon does it too - his fifth slot is the starter strong against yours, the one you may not have a counter to if your team-building isn't on point.

... And then we have Hassel.

... Now, there's a few things to note here.

Flapple shares the same quad weakness as Noivern, which leads. That's, er... different.

Flapple, statistically, is the weakest Pokemon here. Not by a lot - Dragalge is only ten points or so better, but it's a defensive Pokemon. It's meant to fill that role, as well as being a counter to Fairies.

Flapple isn't the utility mon most penultimate-slot mons are.

... And yet, here it is. Now, I could draw upon Hassel's six-mon Tournament team here, which adds Dragonite into this slot instead, but the Tournament is Hassel fucking about. He's been chilling in the staffroom and someone's gone "oh, that champion-rank kid's up, get out here." The Elite Test line-up is him at work. He's specifically chosen to leave a pseudo-legendary at home... for Flapple.

And why would he do that? @edgeanescence pointed out on the EphemeralArt Discord that the penultimate slot is meant to represent the trainer; the personality and the heart of them, as well as acting as vice-captain. And, well...

Cynthia's is a Milotic. Grace, beauty, the defence of Sinnoh against Cyrus.

Steven's is an Armaldo. A fossil, a Rock-type, the strongest of all fossils at the time - perfect sentiments for him.

Wallace's is a Gyrados. Power, controlled by a former eighth gym slot; ferocity in water.

... And Hassel's is a Flapple. Like him, she has power, but what she represents as a Grass/Dragon is much more important to him than raw offence or defence. She is his softness; she is his tears, and pride in his students; she is part-Brassius. Whether Brassius gave him the Flapple or not is irrelevant, though it's pretty compelling that he did - this man takes a representation of his heart and of his love into battle over the Dragonite, who has 120 more points of stats. By rights, even if he's leaving the Dragonite at home, Haxorus should be here if this is about power, not Flapple.

And you can tell me that it's about game balance as much as you like, but oh look:

Brassius's rematch team, everyone, and look at that penultimate slot.

Look at that Arboliva sculpture, with Brass's own spikiness and Dragon-type purple-tinged blue.

Brassius is not like Appletun, the obvious counterpoint here. Brassius is drama; Brassius is a man formerly weak, much like Smoliv; Brassius is not home comforts, apple pies, yet he's surprisingly kind and encouraging. Reminding you of anything?

... Ah, yes. Arboliva, depending on mood. And, if you're not already convinced...

That's Flapple, in the Violet dex. Strong, and covered in clay. Like a fucking artist, or a man who loves a sculptor.

When the chips are down, when they show up to work, when they have important, key battles, Hassel and Brassius don't just take their Pokemon to the arena.

They take themselves, and they take each other.

#ephemeralartshipping #brassius x hassel #brassius #hassel #pokemon scarlet and violet #... you know I'd say I was done with these old gays at this point #but who the fuck am I kidding #I haven't even done the artazon art yet lmao #honestly game freak what the fuck #I am so desperately normal about these old men #*soft scream*

[brighan]

Me 🤝 Loid Having feelings for the man (Super quick sketch from the end of the stream!)

#warframe art #warframe fanart #tennocreate #warframe #albrecht entrati #loid #human loid #brighanart #artists on tumblr #sketch #old men yaoi #loid I get you truly #i am so normal about my favorite lore character being around!!

[biggest12fan]

i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a simp i am not a- *sees a man way too old for me with fluffy curly white hair, a nice voice, and amazing style* well fuck

#guys i think i have a type #also daddy issues but lets put that aside #i am so normal about those old men #3rd doctor #12th doctor #twelfth doctor #third doctor #third eye #classic who #doctor who #dw

[sourcatnip]

Im so normal about him

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #im going ape shit #old men 🤤🤤🤤 #im normal #im so normal #im so not normal about this #im a liar #i am fine #on god #🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[sawboyx3]

If synths aren't introduced in fotv I'm going to rip my skin off tbh

#i NEED ghoulintine to happen I am so NOT normal about this #fallout #Nick valen #nick valentine #The ghoul #the ghoul fallout #fallout amazon #fallout series #Gay old #gay old men

[vinnyberries]

Kondraki opens his eyes to a sea of green. He hears the soft flapping of millions upon millions of silky wings. He can feel hundreds of butterflies on his skin, clinging to his arms and legs, their wings brushing against his cheeks. 

He feels at home. 

(Please go read @handsome-john's amazing work)

#i am so normal about this fic #very normal #def didnt almost cry over old fictional men #dr kondraki #scp 408 #scp #scp fanfiction #my art

[henry-thats-unsafe]

im so fucking normal about chrisker guys im so fucking normal

#THE INSANE THINGS THAT RUN THROUGH MY HEAD CONSTANTLY ABOUT THESE MEN IS DEBILITATING #CAN'T HAVE A SINGLE NORMAL THOUGHT ABOUT THEM #I LOVE ME SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED DOOMED YAOI #I am constantly thinking about Wesker allowing himself to fall in love with a man despite knowing that it would all crumple in the end #That he would be forever obsessed with Chris and that Chris would not love him anymore once his true nature was revealed #And him LYING to himself about it to allow himself to live comfortably in this doomed relationship that would consume his future #and how he's lived his whole life as a liar #hiding his true self in deceit #that when it comes time for him to be honest with himself he can't even do that #because what he wants will always be more important than the truth #GOD. GOD IF ONLY I COULD ACTUALLY WRITE. AND NOT JUST LOOK AT MY SCREEN. IT'D BE OVER FOR EVERYONE. #chrisker #shut up henry

[queenhawke]

this image did irreparable damage to my brain

#before this image i was normal about mythic quest #it's been like two years and i haven't recovered #now i am insane #now i am writing old men yaoi about him #truly a terrible fate #mythic quest

[freshydip]

storyboards from everyone's favorite scene

#happy stanuary everyone #stanuary #grunkle stan #stanley pines #i am normal about old men #gravity falls #tfw no gf #mp

[lale-txt]

babe wake up Garp got the Wano glow up

#oh my GOD???? #such a good episode but man the teaser for the next?? EXCITED #excuse me while i lick my screen #gripping my thighs #i uhm yeah i am very normal about old men #asgdjfjsgd #frustrated and lusty groans about old man Garp #one piece spoilers #lale.txt

[keclan]

i’ve been avoiding buying clothes for a long time bc Ugh but i’m doing it today bc i need some new basic things before going on this fancy cruise with my parents. dropped $300 in the first store. why is everything in the world so expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#telling myself this is fine bc i haven’t bought myself new shit in years #and none of my jeans fit right anymore #so those are necessities #i still need to go to the shoe store bc my sketchers are like ten years old #and i got them at bealls #so i need nice clean sneakers and maybe some nice flats #idk how my parents will feel about me wearing my docs on the cruise even though i think they’re nice #fuck it! it’ll be cold so boots are normal and acceptable right #this suuuuuuuucks this suucks so bad #also i don’t consider myself to be that fat #like i definitely am a little bit but im really not that big i think im kind of average maybe a little above #but im consistently the largest size at these stores #how does anyone bigger than me buy clothes #like this is so ridiculous #im a 16/18/XL in women’s an L/XL in men’s #like this is a normal average size to be; and yet they only stock up to a 16 usually. i found one pair of pants in a 20 #unbelievable shit happening at the gap

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

hi malevolent fandom would you disown me if i said i wanted to kiss Mr. Wallace Larson 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

#malevolent #larson malevolent #wallace larson #goosey rambles #i am normal about fucked up podcast men #i am normal about seeing larson in a priest outfit. #i am normal. #i am the normalest #😢😢😢😢 #very close to drawing him but idk how to draw crusty old men #or at the very least. close to relistening to some of his episodes #he is so fucked up why am i like this 😢

[ruedesfillesducalvaire]

sorry I'm having Post-Seine feelings about these lyrics and idk if anyone else is deranged enough to care but i'm gonna translate for you just in case:

Despite the old bitterness And loves that pass Friends we lose in the fog And ideals that are broken Life clings on and is reborn Like each spring returns In a breath of fresh air That soothes hearts in pain So if it happens that tonight you'd like to stay With me, the night is soft, we can walk And even if we know that everything only lasts a little while I'd like you to be, for a moment, My falling star

notes:

'amertumes' is actually plural, so, 'bitternesses', but that's not a word in English, so....

'la nuit est douce' means 'the night is mild', but the word 'douce' literally means 'soft', and I love that

'mon étoile filante' means 'shooting star' or 'falling star'; I guess 'shooting star' is more common, but 'be my shooting star' in English sounds a bit ridiculous. 'Étoile filante' is so good, shame it doesn't translate the best.

#dfjlsidjflsdjfsd #there's also a bit where its like 'if i stop to talk with you a while about life it's because with you i am well and i don't worry anymore' #stop im not ok #why am i like this actually #this is so abnormal of me why can't i be normal about these old men #this is just a gorgeous song in general though #the song is les étoiles filantes par les cowboys fringants #it is very québécois. so if you are not a native french speaker and you're like. why do they sound like that. it's bc la belle province ok #valvert #javert #jean valjean #song lyrics #les mis #les miserables #les misérables #post-seine #sylvie's own nonsense

[binch-i-might-be]

I love how wilson just kinda hangs around sometimes and explains why house does something. homosexual behaviour

#all their banter is basically just flirting. you can't fool me i know a gay when i see one #yes i am so normal about these old men thanks for asking #house md #rayrambles

[haemosexuality]

i feel like im probably gonna be talking about this a lot here since i cant talk to Her about it and it really is bothering me so much

#but i feel bad about this too bc it just feels like im talking about her behind her back. which i am kind of. aughhhhhh #its just. idk large age gaps have just Always bothered me no matter how much my opinions on everything else change!!! i think its a bad idea #and dangerous! almosf everyone else she knows thinks its fine so maybe i am just annoying and insane but i literally cant change how i feel #ive tried #like theres. so much that could go wrong here #hes 10 Years Older. hes had experience dating. hes been an adult for 13 years #shes 21. has basically 0 experience dating. and her mental health is really not great #like she just realized she liked men too a few months ago and shes been in this cycle of getting really really obsessed with guys older than #her really fast and everything they do really affect her. she has trouble recognizing sus behavior and is too afraid of upsetting ppl to her #own detriment #i really hope that this guy is normal (as normal as you can be when ur 31 being with a 21 yr old) but if hes not then this has the potential #to go so so bad #and im worried #no one else seems to be tho so idfk!!! am i just too child brained compared to people who date. maybe. but im so worried