#i am absolutely NOT going to be done by the end of fictober because...tomorrow?!?

[srprincess]

Fictober Prompt 11 “It’s not always like this.”

fandom - check please

Part 11 of the spookydooAU

Will pulled the truck up close to the house. Well, close as he could get with all the fallen tree limbs.

What had happened to this place, he wondered, getting out of the truck and surveying the mess.

The leaves weren't surprising. After all, they were into fall. Most people didn't even bother raking their camps with how the trees blocked any sun that would have grown grass. But the gutters overflowing? Porch being covered? Even the lattice at the bottom of the porch was half covered with the sort of trash that blew in when the less considerate tourists would hit the beach. Empty chip bags, food wrappers, water bottles and the like.

This was a ‘clear up at the season start’ sort of mess, not the kind you'd expect at a year long residence. And, between the fallen tree limbs and the random brush and twigs, there was wood everywhere except for on the log rack against the cottage, which looked near empty. No way to start the colder seasons.  

He was so distracted he didn't even realize Nursey had gotten out of the truck until he startled at his voice right beside him “Was there a big storm recently?”

Will shook his head. “Not for ages. Storms likely won’t hit the inner point hard for another month yet. Could you hold back here? Let me make a run round the house first.”

He grabbed a flashlight out of the cab before making his way around. There were a couple smaller trees downed in the back, one leaning against the house, but thankfully no broken windows. He really needed to stop back by in the light of day. See to those gutters at least, before she was replacing a roof. Clean up the trash. Maybe cut up and add the scattered branches to her woodpile.

Damn what a mess.  

This sort of mess didn’t pop up overnight, outside of the stormy season at least. And, like he had told Nursey, that hadn't even started yet. That meant all of this had to have been building up for a while. Surely she knew she could have asked for help, right?

 As he came back to the front of the house he saw Nursey with a plastic sack that he must have pulled out of the truck cab, filling it with the litter from the base of the porch. He grabbed another bag and joined him.

”Hope this was alright, ” Nursey held up the almost full bag.

”Oh yeah, I mean, thanks,”

”No problem, I felt weird just standing here.”

“Thanks just the same. You know It’s not always like this.” Will told him, tipping his head towards the debris while wondering if that was technically true. After all, when was the last time he had been here? He couldn't say exactly when, but it’d been a while. She just kind of showed up at his all the time. And with her place pushed back in the trees, even though he could see the shoreline, he didn't have a good view of the house. Maybe it had been bad for a while. He knew pride was a thing, but still. She could have asked and he would have been right over, no questions.

He was jarred out of his thoughts by Nursey shaking out a tangled wind chime, “Hey, isn’t this like yours?”

“Yeah, she makes them. Must have gotten knocked off its hook, blown loose or something. Probably should hang it back up. Spot me?” Will asked, already climbing on the porch rail near to one of the empty hooks and reaching back for the chime. A quick wipe to get rid of a spider web, and the chime was hanging again.

Will was grateful for the hands hovering around his hips when a movement, caught in the corner of his eye, had him spinning on the railing to face the house. Nursey’s quick grip helped turn what would have been an awkward backward fall into a, nearly graceful, hop back to the floor and into his arms.

”Did you see that?” Will asked, pulling loose from Nursey’s hold and trying, unsuccessfully, to peer through the dirty window.

”My sweet save?”

”No, idiot, the curtain. I swear it twitched.”  He knocked on the door, calling out, “Hello? Anyone home?” No answer. He didn’t think she would have stood in the house watching anyway, but he was so sure he saw something. Weird. He pressed his ear to the door, but couldn't hear any sounds of movement. Maybe it had just been a draft?

Will shrugged and hopped back off the porch. “If you want, I can finish up with this while you... I don't know, do whatever it is you do with that stuff in your duffel?”

“How about one more bag first? Like as a thanks for letting us come by. Maybe it will show the spirits I’m friendly and they’ll talk more, yeah?” Nursey reasoned.

“Sounds like nonsense but not like I’ll turn down a pair of hands right now soooo”

Will grabbed the floodlight he had out of the tool chest in the truck bed, hoping he’d remembered to charge it after the last time he used it. He gave a little cheer when he set it on the porch and it turned on. He flashed it in the direction of the lighthouse and watched to see a couple of smaller flashes back.

“Well, they haven’t gone in yet.”

“You know they’ll be thinking that was a ghost or something, right?” Nursey pointed out.

“Then I’ll be sure to do it a few more times before we leave,” Will joked. “Maybe wave it around like it’s floating.”

“Your mind. Evil!” Nursey said, “You would have been so much fun back at the Haus in school dude. The pranks we could have pulled.”

“I don’t know, I’m not much of a space sharer. Like keeping to myself.”

“Really? The grumpy lighthouse keeper isn't a people person? Shocking.” Nursey grinned, “Way to perpetuate a stereotype, dude.”

Will smirked back and flipped him off.

”We’d have worn you down, look what we’ve done in a couple days. Hanging out with the common people, causing scenes,” waving his hand towards the cottage, “trespassing after dark. You’re practically one of us.”

“Not hardly,” Will scoffed.

“One of us. One of us. One of us.” Nursey chanted.

“You are ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously charming?” Nursey asked, plucking a leaf from Will’s hair and handing it to him.

“Ridiculously obnoxious,” Will lied, wondering if it was dark enough to hide the blush on his traitorous face.

Nursey’s thoughtful look made him think it probably wasn’t. Damn. Probably didn’t help that he put the leaf in his pocket instead of tossing it to the ground? Why did he even do that? Like he was some preteen girl going to add it to a scrapbook or some shit? Ugh.  

“I’ll have to work on it then.”

“How about, instead of that, you work on whatever it is you think you're going to accomplish here tonight,” Will said as he plucked the full trash bag out of Nursey hands and took it over to the truck. Coming back he dropped the duffel at his feet. ”Don’t go too far, shout if you need me.”

Nursey gave a mock salute before pulling some things out and heading towards the tree line.

Will had finished picking up the trash before the first check-in calls came through. Listening in, it sounded like everything was going okay. Nothing big to report. Holster did ask about the lights, Nursey blowing him off with a ’maaaaybe’ and an ’I don't know’ with instructions to keep watching the coastline just in case. Will tried to keep his snort of laughter quiet enough to not be picked up.

He'd spent another 20 minutes trying to separate the scattered brush in trash, kindling, ’chop up for the pile’ later when the floodlight started to flicker. He cursed when it completely shut down. Not fully charged after all then. Damn.

He did have a spare but thought it better to save in case of emergency. And his flashlights and lantern were fine for walking around, but not so great for clearing a large area like this.

Figuring he should probably talk to her before doing much more anyway, he tossed the spent light into the truck cab, making a mental note to recharge it later, before catching up with Nursey.

 Seeing him behind a shrub Will quickly jumped towards him, grabbing Nursey’s sides, and yelled ”Did I miss anything?!”

”Fuck! You are the worst!” Nursey yelped and shoved back at him. ”God. Damn.” He blew out a breath before continuing, “Nothing yet. Before you tried to scare me half to death, I was about to take another walk around the perimeter and do some Q&A.”

”Q&A? Okay, but, ummm, I’m not sure what else I can tell you?”

”Not with you.” Nursey held up a recorder and explained, ”I’m going to ask some questions to whoever is out there, and see if I get anything back. I'm recording it so I can play it back louder. Then if there is something the others could hear it later too.”

”And what's that?” Will pointed to the small box Nursey held. It had a pair of square buttons with a small bulb next to each. One marked with a y and the other an n.

”This” Nursey answered proudly, ”is the Answer Machine. I invented it.  With some help from Chow. And supplies from Lardo. And naming by Jack.”

”Huh,” Will tilted his head, ”How does it work?”

”This is it's first time out but, in theory, if I ask a question and the spirit doesn't want to, or can’t, answer verbally a little pressure over the switch here will make the bulb above it light up. Green on the left for yes and red in the right for no.”

”So a flashy ouija?”

”No. An Answer Machine.”

”An answer machine is what used to take phone calls, that is - hold on.” Will addressed the box. ”Are you a poor man’s ouija gadget?” He clicked the left button and saw it light up green, ”Oh-hoh! What do we have here? Yes!”

“Smartass,” Nursey went to pull back his gadget when they were both startled by a crash at the porch. ”Wh-what was that?” he asked, shakily.

”Windchime’s down again.” Will said with a frown. ”Give me another hand?”

 He grabbed some string from the truck’s toolbox and rehung the chime. This time he wound the string around the hook and over the chime hanger to hold it more securely. He gave it a slight tug from side to side and it stayed hanging. Satisfied, he hopped back off the railing and he and Nursey returned to the equipment bag.

 ”Ready?” Nursey asked, as he started the recorder and handed it to Will.

When Will nodded, he flipped on the ’answer machine’ and started asking his questions, pausing between each. As he talked, they walked their way around the edges of the property closest to the house.

 ”Is anyone there?”

”Can you tell me your name?”

”How long have you been here?”

”Do you know what happened to you?”

”Did you tell anyone where you were going?”

”Or what you were doing?”

”Did you have any family?”

”Is there a message you want us to pass along?”

”If you can hear me, give me a sign.”

As the questions went on with no response, or least not one that he could hear or see, Will interrupted, ”This is so cheesy. You're basically talking to yourself in the dark. You get that, right?”

 Nursey just continued on, but louder. ”I’m here with Dex. You might have known his great grandfather. Is there anything you would like to tell him?”

Will pulled a face, and Nursey cracked up.

”What was that? A little louder?”

Will narrowed his eyes. He hadn't heard anything, still.

”Oh! You think his jacket clashes with those pants?”

Will growled and pounced.

Nursey choked out through his laughter, ”and the shoes are a disaster?” He was laying on the ground where he’d been tackled, but tried to roll away before adding, ”I agree but I meant about your disappearance?”

All of the sudden Will froze, staring at that stupid ’answer machine’, ”It's lit. What is that supposed to mean??”

Both the lights were lit up.

Nursey pulled himself sitting and shook the box. ”Maybe I hit the switches when I went down?”

He clicked them both off, but the red light clicked right back on. He clicked it off again, and then it stayed off.

 Will helped him to his feet, and they headed back towards the front of the house. Nursey repeating his earlier questions. He got as far as ”Is there a mess-” when he tripped over something in a pile of leaves.

The box went flying, green light lit this time. Suddenly the wind picked up, blowing harder than it had yet, nearly pulling the wind chime down again even with the extra reinforcements.

The walkie talkie app went off with Bitty’s voice yelling something, wind there too judging by the background noise, but neither of them were listening.

They were both staring at what Nursey had tripped over.

It was a rusting ‘For Sale’ sign from a real estate company in the city.

#fictober19 #omgcp #spookydoo au #nurseydex #i am absolutely NOT going to be done by the end of fictober because...tomorrow?!? #BUT I will still be working on this #promise! #thanks for all the reblogs/subscribes/comments/kudos/etc #you guys are the best!

[halfblood-fiend]

Fictober 2019 - Day 8

From The Fictober 2019 event <3

Prompt 8 : “Can you stay?”

Fandom : Star Trek: Voyager

Words : 1,616

Warnings : more alcohol, and one dumbass character; companion piece to this

(WOOOO THIS MEANS I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP)

“Can you stay?” Vorik x Modern OC

I crested over that plateau of Party Enjoyment into the diminishing return of Fun pretty quickly after the game of beer pong. It was like suddenly hitting a wall at full speed and crashing into a hard stop. I was slurring, I was saying dumb things, I could barely walk straight, and my internal monologue became something of a chant of "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." Though it somehow didn’t stop me from continuing to take shots with my crewmates.

As the night went on, trying to keep track of the threads of conversation got tedious but when I started zoning out more often than I listened, I called it. Pretty much just like that, I decided I was Absolutely Done and wanted to be in bed five minutes ago. I had no idea what time it was and people were leaving anyway so it seemed like a good time for me to skedaddle too. So I grabbed Vorik's arm and told him so.

Not that I was particularly complaining, with my stupid crush still gong in full force apparently, but my friend had hardly left my side ever since our beat down of Tom and B'Elanna. It would have been fine if I'd had even a sliver of more self-control. Vorik's quiet and calm made me all too aware of how fucking obnoxious drunk-Giana must have been. Not to mention that I'd been doing dumb shit to the poor guy all night. Not the least of which being exactly what I was doing now: touching him way more than necessary. All the casual physical contact was all well and good for an inebriated social Human, but I had always been under the impression it was pretty taboo for a Vulcan. He was just too nice to say so.

Which was why as I made my rounds to say goodnight to folks, the Vulcan was still at my shoulder.

"Aww. You guys are leaving already?"

Already, as if it wasn't hella late.

"Nice game! I won't forget the look on Tom's face any time soon."

You and me both, friendo.

"It was fun finally hanging out with you. I'll see you tomorrow!"

You might. If I didn't end up sleeping all day tomorrow. No shifts meant no alarms and there was no way in hell I was getting up any earlier than my body wanted to, even if that meant I missed every meal.

I went back to our table to pick up the jacket I'd abandoned hours ago, waved a final goodbye to my friends still sitting there, and turned to find Vorik still behind me, hovering a few paces behind, waiting patiently.

“You know, you don't have to leave just because I am. You should stay and enjoy yourself.” I kept extra busy making sure my jacket was draped over my arm just so. I told myself I wasn't holding my breath for any particular reason.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vorik shake his head and clasp his hands behind his back. “If it hadn’t been for you asking me, I wouldn’t have come at all. Now, you are quite intoxicated. I would prefer to escort you to your quarters rather than staying, to ensure you make it there.”

I laughed, “As opposed to, what? Passing out in the hallway somewhere?”

“Or being taken advantage of. I have not known you to act out of self-preservation and I have often observed your inability to tell others ‘no.’”

Was I so easy for everyone else to read too, or was he the only one that paid attention?

“Okay, okay,” I sighed. “Since you chased off my date earlier, I guess that makes it your job to take me home anyway.”

God, why did I fucking say that?

Vorik arched an eyebrow and fell into step beside me as we left the rec room and turned down the hallway towards the crew quarters.

I couldn’t even keep quiet a minute before I had to open my stupid mouth.

“I’m glad you came, after all. Even if I did have to beg you.”

“As am I. I may not understand the Human obsession with loud music or dancing, but the conversations we had were just as enjoyable as on any other day. More so, perhaps.”

“Why more?”

“Only when they are drunk, are Humans finally honest,” he said. I sensed this could be a dangerous road for me so I tried to switch gears.

I reached out and caught the sleeve of his dark grey tunic and felt the strange crosshatching fabric. “I really like this on you,” I said with a smile.

Then suddenly: God, would you stop touching him, please?? As soon as I thought it, I released him and took to crumpling the light fabric of my dress in my fists instead.

Vorik raised his eyebrows and cast a somewhat amused look in my direction. “Thank you for proving my point.”

“Nuh-uh! I would’ve told you that even if I wasn’t so drunk! Vulcan fashion is to die for. I love it! I just…usually stop myself from giving out compliments is all.”

“Why?”

“Because…” I faltered. Because I am usually too shy? Because I never know how to react to compliments, so I don’t want to put others in that position? Because whenever I give out too many compliments, people accuse me of flirting and that makes me more uncomfortable? “I dunno. ‘M always worried they’ll come off awkward.”

Frowning, Vorik said, “Although many would likely hold the same opinion of me, you don’t strike me as awkward, Giana. I do appreciate your compliment. I, too, am fond of this overcoat.”

“It brings out your eyes,” I blurted before I snapped my teeth together so hard, I probably rattled my brain.

Vorik glanced at me and nodded. “I know. Though I am surprised you noticed. It is unusual for a Human to see the subtlety.”

I wasn’t sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not, but it sure did feel like one. So the smile I flash him is dopey and bright.

I had no idea why I kept doing this to myself. Why keep trailing along picking up the scraps of affection? There was no future here. Vorik wouldn’t—couldn’t possibly—return those feelings. It wasn’t in his nature, and that was okay…just not for me. That would never work out for someone who so desperately craved love. All I was doing was hurting myself. IN the short run. In the long run.

And, logically, I knew that most days.

But it was hard to see that when my head was so thick and my heart was giddy.

“Giana?”

“Hmm?”

I stopped and looked around to find him a meter behind me.

“Your quarters are here,” Vorik said, gesturing to the door to his left.

“Oh.” My face burned. “Y-yeah.”

I pressed my hand to the biometric reader and the doors hissed open. The computer greeted me as I walked over the threshold but I barely heard her. As soon as I walked inside, I was exhausted and felt ready to collapse.

“I would not recommend going to sleep immediately, though I am sure the urge is strong.” Vorik strode in behind me and went straight to my in-room replicator. “You should drink more water and remain alert for at least another ninety minutes.”

“Why?”

“To lower your blood-alcohol content.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “Wha’? I didn’t know you were a doctor and an engineer.”

“I am not, but the amount of alcohol you consumed could easily lead to poisoning if you aren’t careful.”

My stomach twisted. “…oh?” It hadn’t been that much, had it?

The replicator dinged and Vorik approached me and offered out a glass of water.

I took it, still feeling rather confused and more than a little worried.

“You neglected to eat beforehand as well. It is a wonder you can still stand.” When I hadn’t moved, he reached out and nudged the bottom of the glass with his fingers until I raised it to my lips and took a long drink.

“Will I be okay?”

Vorik shook his head and shrugged halfheartedly. “If you listen, maybe.”

I laughed into the glass. “Don’t ever pursue a medical position. Your bedside manner is ass.”

He sighed. “Do as I say, and you will be fine. Now that my task is complete and you are safe, I will see you tomorrow.”

Vorik had made it all the way to the door before my anxiety won out over my self-consciousness.

“Um. Vorik?”

He paused with his fingers hovering over the keypad and looked over his shoulder.

“I. Um. C-can… Are you… Uh. W-were you planning on sleeping tonight or-or meditating?”

“Meditating.”

I nodded, and rolling the empty glass in my hands, I mustered all the courage from every corner of my being that I could possibly find. “Could…could you…? I-I mean, we don’t have to be in the same room or anything b-but if you’re only meditating, can you—I mean, if you don’t mind—can…can you, um, stay?” He was quiet, but my heart was loud in my ears. “To make sure I don’t die?” I clarified as if that would make the embarrassing request better.

“My mentioning it made you nervous.”

“Uh,” I said with a shaky laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, it definitely did. I had no idea I was that bad.”

“I can stay, if it will put you at ease.”

I smiled. “You’re too good to me.”

“You…are my friend. If my presence will soothe your anxiety, then I am glad to be here for you.”

#fictober19 #Star Trek: Voyager #Ensign Vorik #Vorik #Vorik x modern OC #I'm not quite happy with it #but I am so so tired #maybe I'll fix it tomorrow #Giana Moreno #OTP: Never Tear Us Apart #Voy #Star Trek

[laurasinele]

Red, silver, blue (a Fictober Stucky 3k crackfic)

Prompt 2: “Just follow me, I know the area”

Fanfic from: the MCU

Tags: Stucky, Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes friendship, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, friends to lovers, love confessions, Tony Stark is a pain in the neck, background Tony/Pepper

Warnings: swear words, mentions of sex shops and sex toys, mentions of BDSM, mentions of murder (but it’s actually a very lighthearted story)

Ao3

“No. Absolutely not. Don’t you think that’s a bit too much?”

Buck was listening too, and he was doubled down with silent laughter, hand covering his face and shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

“Honestly, I don’t see where the problem is, cap. I’m just asking you to grab a present for my fiancée…”

Steve interrupted him, stammering with embarrassment and annoyance.

“A very specific kind of present, Tony! I really don’t think Miss Potts is going to be happy knowing that it was me and Bucky who picked up her lingerie!”

“I never said you should take Barnes. And I did say specifically erotic lingerie. Barnes, are you listening?”

“Right here, Stark”, managed to wheeze Bucky. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Just, feel free to not go shopping lingerie for my girlfriend with Rogers. That’d be weird”. While Bucky laughed, Steve tried to complain again, but Tony spoke over him. “Okay, it’s settled then. Take your time, no need to be back in a hurry, take care, have fun, don’t let the bed bugs bite, and all that jazz”, and he cut communication. 

Bucky was delighted. Acclimatation to this new world and new life had been hard, and he did not have fun really often, so Steve’s indignant face right now was a real treat. Having Steve around made things way easier. He never stopped wondering how would have it been for Steve, with nobody from his time aside from an elderly Peggy Carter.

This intel mission they had just finished in Amsterdam had allowed them to have some time together and apart from “the kids”, as they jokingly referred to the rest of the team. Tony’s suggestion to take some time off there seemed pretty appealing to Bucky, regardless of any potentially embarrassing trip to the Red Light District’s sex shops. Which took him back to Steve’s expression, between flustered and upset. 

“Okay, buddy, listen…”

“Don’t”, said Steve.

“What? You don’t know what I was going to say”, complained Bucky.

“Something along ‘it’s not a big deal, think of it as a mission’?”

Bucky smiled widely. Steve did know him well.

“Okay then, now seriously. Stark is obviously messing with you. The feisty, tiny Steve I knew,  would probably hit him back twice as hard, so why wouldn’t big, buff Steve do the same?”

Steve looked at him with a furrowed brow. He then looked away and then down at his hands fiddling with his baseball cap. He looked up at Bucky, rising an eyebrow and said:

“Buff?”

Bucky smiled, slapped lightly his shoulder and let his mechanical hand rest there to stir Steve into movement. “I am updating my vocabulary, Captain. Now let’s find something scandalous enough to make Stark blush”.

“I can’t even imagine what that would be”, sighed Steve, reverting to his embarrassed state as they neared the entrance of the Red Light District.

“Oh, you just follow me, pal”, said Bucky with a wink. “I know the area”.

If Steve had been updating his vocabulary as enthusiastically as Bucky, he’d say he was “tripping major balls”. Instead, he settled for a much more boring “shocked”. Bucky walked around pointing landmarks and possible destinations as if he had been visiting these streets weekly for the past decade. He even knew what to call most of the items the “erotic boutiques” offered. When they entered a store dedicated to BDSM products and Bucky started to explain how to use what Steve was sure he’d seen in a documentary about the Spanish Inquisition, he thought he’d had enough.

“Buck, stop. I don’t really want to know. I don’t even know if I want to ask how on earth did you learn all this”.

“Well. While I was the Winter Soldier some of my targets, most of them actually, had a very specific taste. Not that I’m proud of it, but I happened to match that taste and it was a very effective way to approach them. And discreet”, he explained in a whisper.

Steve stared at him, battling with astonishment, grief, anger and, for some reason, a teeny tiny bit of arousal he tried really hard to ignore. In the end he declared: “Enough. I’ve had enough”, and headed to the exit. Bucky followed him and caught him in the street.

“Hey!”, he called. Steve turned around to face him reluctantly, one hand resting on his hip, the other scratching his brow, eyes pointedly avoiding his childhood friend. “Hey, buddy. What’s wrong?”

Steve opened widely his eyes and rose his palms facing the sky, instantly becoming de embodiment of the sound “duh”. He shook himself, exuding incredulity and after a few tries he managed to say: “I don’t know, Buck. It always grinds my gears when I think about your life this past few decades. And now I find out they made you… that you had to put yourself in intimate situations? And it’s not as if I’m comfortable talking about sex, either, okey? Some of you forget that I’m just a 90 year-old virgin!”

Steve had risen his voice unwillingly and many heads turned in the crowd, most of them sporting a condescendent smile. He tried to make himself small bending his head down and burrowing his hands in his pockets. Bucky got closer to him and set his hands on Steve’s shoulders before trying to make eye contact. 

“I am sorry, Steve. I really am. I am trying to get over it, to make it sound like war tales that happened to someone else. You know I’m not proud of what I did. I hate it, actually. But as memories from then and before come back, I’m just glad it happened because otherwise I’d died or I’d lived only to lose you to a freezing ocean. We’ve both gone through serious bullshit. But we met at the end of the line. I’d never change that”. He squeezed Steve’s shoulders and Steve finally looked up, his eyes meeting Bucky’s and his hands resting on his best friend waist. 

“Ah… I’m sorry too. For snapping like that. It’s not your fault that I got freezed nor that I got the serum”.

“It’s not your fault either that I fell off that train and that nasty little Frankenstein experimented with me”.

“It kind of is…” “It isn’t”, said Bucky, sliding his hands up Steve’s nape reassuringly. “Look at me. You saved me more times than you know. And, again, if hadn’t fallen, we wouldn’t be here”.

Steve remained silent, looking at James Buchanan Barnes, his childhood friend. Sergeant of the US Army. The infamous Winter Soldier. Bucky. He threw himself into a tight embrace with him, letting sink the idea that they were there, at that time and place, together, still young. Able to start again at any given time. 

Bucky returned the hug gladly, and broke it gently after a while. “Let’s go back to the apartment, yeah? Let’s have a quiet night in and try again tomorrow with Stark’s stupid errand”.

Steve nodded and led the way, unable to erase a peaceful, content smile from his face. 

--

Bucky exited the bathroom after his shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist and another one over his head. He was going to his bedroom but he stopped on his tracks at the sight of Steve sitting on the couch nursing a beer and staring broodingly at some point between the living room carpet and the assassination of Franz Ferdinand in 1914.

“Hey. Alright?”, he said as he approached him, removing the towel from his head and wondering what might have gotten Steve so preoccupied after their pleasant way back to this place.

“Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine. You done with the shower? I think I’ll take one too”.

“Cut the crap, Captain. I’ve known you forever. What’s going on?”

They were standing face to face. Bucky was looking at Steve sternly, holding each end of the towel thrown around his neck. Steve must have been wishing to become his pre-serum self, avoiding Bucky’s gaze and biting into his bottom lip. Bucky caught himself just about to rise his hand and free Steve’s lip with a stroke of his thumb. He wondered if this kind of impulse was there before the war, before the serum, or something else had put it there. 

“It’s stupid, really. Nothing to do with war, or saving the world or anything”.

Bucky was both relieved and confused. He relaxed his stance and nodded. “Okay, well. What is it then?”

Steve sighed, closed his eyes and threw back his head in defeat. 

“Ah, really, it’s nothing. I just… I was thinking, okay? How I’m this world-known hero for everyone, and how I’ve got so much more in common with the old veterans than my own team. I’m grateful for you, for having someone from before. But even before… Ah, shit, I don’t even know what’s up with me”. 

“It’s okay, Steve. I’m listening”.

Steve paused for a moment and locked eyes with him. Bucky felt an indescribable weight on his chest and wondered what was he afraid of, if he ever had been afraid of Steve Rogers, or Captain America, before. Steve lowered his eyes to the scars on Bucky’s torso before talking again, and he traced them tentatively, lost in his own head.

“I used to look up at you. I always thought I didn’t need you, that I could stand my own. I never called you and you were always there, through school, through hardship, through my mum’s death… I really wanted to enroll for myself and for my country, for the innocent people dying in Europe. But most of all I was scared that you wouldn’t come back and I needed to be there to make sure you were okay”. Steve breathed a laugh and kept tracing Bucky’s scars up to his arm. Bucky didn’t know where was this heading, but he told himself he was staring at Steve’s lips just so he wouldn’t miss a word. Steve resumed his speech:

“The thing is, I always thought you’d be around. I took you for granted, but I also felt I was responsible of you. Any fight with your parents, you’d tell me. Any dream or fear. Any girl you liked. More than the fear and the rage about what they did to you, what shakes me everytime is that I wasn’t there or that you can’t tell me half of it because you don’t remember. There’s a part of your life, of you, that I missed, and every time it hits me, I lose my grip of things”. Steve let his fingers slide down Bucky’s metal arm and there was a silence after that, heavy as a blanket and just as warm. When Bucky managed to untangle the knot in his throat, he said:

“Doesn’t sound stupid to me”.

Steve scoffed and covered his face with both hands. He rubbed his eyes and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, smiling widely but obviously embarrassed.

“No, it probably doesn’t. What is stupid, though is… Ah, I can’t, nevermind”.

Bucky was amused, now, and he totally needed to know. He grabbed Steve’s shoulder when he motioned to turn his back to him. 

“Hey, no, no, no, no. Don’t leave this way, I could use some of your good old stupidity”.

“Ah, okay, fine. Don’t laugh”.

“I promise nothing”.

“Okay, you little shit. Ah… It’s about… Jesus, help me. Okay. Here I go. You now how everything in this century is just all about sex? And I’m trying to get used to it but it still flusters me. I thought that I wasn’t the last prude of America anymore because I’d found you but then you go and tell me you where some sort of kinky sex assistant or whatever and I’m… Upset. There. I said it, okay? I’m upset that you had a sex life which is something very mature and clever to say. What are you laughing at?”

“Your face. And the way you’re telling it. ‘Kinky sex assistant’? I swear to God, Stevie…”

Steve pushed Bucky playfully, and he tried to stop laughing, very unsuccessfully. When he finally calmed down they had sit back on the couch, since Bucky could hardly hold himself standing. Steve looked at him, still a bit embarrassed but with eyes aglow with laughter.

“Thanks for not laughing. You are a good friend”, he said as he patted Bucky’s knee.

“Oh, oh poor Steve. I’m sorry, I really am. But listen, pal. There’s something you need to know”. Steve lifted an inquisitive eyebrow and Bucky was caught in another fit of laughter. “Listen. Listen, I never said I did anything with my targets. The kinky sex, as you put it, was an excuse. I’m a 90 year-old virgin too. Only I’m a little bit more educated than you”.

Steve made the most confused face and tried to talk several times, only to stammer and shut up, crestfallen, which sent Bucky cackling. When he finally gathered himself he asked:

“But how? I’m not saying you had to do it with the people you were set off to kill but… I mean, I was frozen for 70 years, what’s your excuse?”

Bucky got slowly off the laughter before answering. He looked at Steve’s genuine curious look and he wondered if he really didn’t know. Immediately, he wondered for how long since leaving HYDRA had he known. He stared into Steve's eyes for a while, pondering his options and their outcomes. He finally decided for ambiguity. 

“There wasn’t anybody I wanted to do it with in this time”.

A look of sadness overcame Steve, who delicately held and squeezed Bucky’s flesh hand.

“I’m sorry I brought it up”.

“I’m not”.

“Did I know her?”.

Bucky thought “Fuck it” and talked before he could think it twice.

“Him. Yeah, you did. Not as well as you knew me, though”.

Steve’s eyes were wide open, but Bucky couldn’t tell with which emotion. At least, he thought, he hadn’t let go of his hand. Bucky held on tighter and made a point not to look away from Steve’s gaze. 

“Steve, one of the best things of coming back to my senses was realising that I could say out loud how much I liked a man as well as a woman. Back then there wasn’t much of space to talk about it. I didn’t even knew liking both was possible. I knew I liked most of the girls I dated. But when things got serious I just… I could only think that I needed to get back home and check on you. See if you had eaten, if you hadn’t got into any fight, get you into bed and kiss you good night. Sometimes I even allowed myself to imagine me staying with you for the night. Just holding you, keeping you warm. I’d get us money and food, you’d stay at home because you were always sick. I’d take care of you. I just needed you to be happy in return. And when I thought those things I couldn’t care less about any girl, anyone really, that my cousins wanted to introduce me to”.

A single tear was gliding down Steve’s face. He let go off Bucky’s hand to wash it away, took a deep breath and stood up, looking antsy. 

“Steve…”

“Fuck you, James Buchanan Barnes!”

“Steve, I’m sor‒”

“Shut up!”, shouted Steve while turning to face Bucky. Tears were streaming now down his face and he covered his mouth as if willing the shout to come back in. “You don’t get to say you’re sorry just like that. You don’t get to put me through all your girlfriends and their girlfriends, you don’t tell me you’re enlisting yourself and leaving my sorry ass in Brooklyn, to come back 70 years later and tell me you wanted a married life with me. Now. Now that I’m tall and strong and healthy and… buff. For love’s sake, Bucky, I fucking hate you!”

Steve turned his back to Bucky and started crying for good now. Bucky’s heart was beating like a steam roller as he stood up, wrapped his arms around Steve's chest, laid his head on his shoulder and breathed out shakily, afraid that Steve would snap at him. 

“If I had found you, short, scrawny, asthmatic, in this time, I would have never hesitated. I would had never asked myself what was that feeling”. Steve took in a deep breath and covered Bucky’s hands with his. Bucky hold onto him tighter. “It is nice that you are tall and strong, and specially it is so very relieving to know you are healthy. But I fell in love with you back then. I just didn’t know better to give in to it”.

Steve turned around in Bucky’s arms and let Bucky softly kiss his eyelids, his cheeks and his lips. It was a feather touch after which Bucky took Steve’s face between his hands, searching for any sign of his best friend thoughts. Steve mimicked him, tacking his face between his hands, and kissed him passionately, pushing them towards the couch. As he did, Bucky’s towel fell from his waist.

“Hey, hey, hey! You said you were prude?”, joked Bucky between kisses.

“Shush, got decades to compensate for”.

--

Bucky was reading the paper near the window at their kitchenette in the Avenger’s facilities. Steve was stirring his coffee and shamelessly checking him out. They’d come here straight from the hangar, and they were waiting for Stark to show up anytime soon, Steve strategically placed to be at his back when he entered the room. 

“Ah, Terminator, back from Amsterdam I see?”. Bucky merely acknowledged him, nodding and biting off a smile. 

“We’ve got something for you”, said Steve, causing Tony to dramatically turn around from the open fridge. Steve held up a small, luxurious-looking black shopping bag with red tissue paper peeking out of it.

“Excellent! What is it?”, asked Tony, taking it. His face immediately fell when he saw the bag content. Bucky took it as his cue to stand up and hold de door open for him and Steve to leave. “But this is… mangerie?”, asked Tony, perplexed, examining an heterodoxical piece of clothing with more lace than seemed possible to keep in its scarce surface. 

“Yup. You wanted a present for her. I bet she will enjoy much more to see you wearing it than wearing something to please you”.

“But wait, guys! This has no tag!”. Steve bit his bottom lip and looked at Bucky. Bucky smirked and they both left with Tony’s exclamations at their wake. “Come on, did you use it? Be straight to me! Or, well, don’t. No judging, love is love. Hm. It smells clean at least”.

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