#i also just generally don't know how people work on account of barely interacting with anyone irl and being so inexperienced at life

[drewsaturday]

it is always kind of funny, albeit frustrating, to spend years of my life rotating particular characters and ships in my head and still worry that i'm exploring them in ooc ways. lol.

#txt #part of it is reasonable because i do worry projection gets in the way (while at the same time it can also add dimension) #and so i feel like... other people just Get those characters/ships better bc they can look at it more clearly #i also just generally don't know how people work on account of barely interacting with anyone irl and being so inexperienced at life #the other part is just... that it is such a fucking crime to write ooc these days that it's really annoying to have to worry about #obviously i want my faves to feel in-character i want my creations to be enjoyable but also... i don't think it should matter #as much as people make it matter sometimes #and so then all of the above all wrapped together then creates another issue of: people know me as a person who is #obsessed with this character/ship #how embarrassing is it to be known as that person but still write them that badly jl;sldjfklskd #AGAIN IT SHOULDN'T MATTER I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT but ough i really... #hate that piece regarding writing #with drawing i can visibly see when a character doesn't look like themselves #but with writing it's so mental and hard to put myself outside of i feel like i'm just reaching around in the dark at all times #and i kinda hate that :| #if it is that much of an issue for me i should rly open myself up to concrit and so forth but y'know #two wolves inside you: wanting to be good at this thing i do for fun vs. also... doing it for fun.... #i guess fandom being so social is what underlines it all as so dire for me #maybe if it were just a piece of writing i flung out into the void rather than attaching it to myself and my personality and fandom presence #it wouldn't feel so life or death lol #oh to be the kind of person that is never active bc they put all their time into creating #they drop one creation a month and say nothing until they drop the next one

[catboybiologist]

So.

Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.

Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.

Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.

They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.

And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.

All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?

Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.

And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.

Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.

And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.

Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.

They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.

They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.

And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.

It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.

Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.

Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.

But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.

Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.

Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.

And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.

#I hope this rant is at least somewhat intelligible #im in lab late night and typing this out as fast as i can in between experiment steps #stay safe out there yall

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

#ask #long post

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Something I don't like about a lot of Vox takes I see is that they tend to portray Vox as someone who's unpleasant to work with and has weird ideas about what partnership means when really... he's not? He's not and he doesn't. It's just that two of the most prominent interactions we've seen him have are with Valentino(who is a fucking NIGHTMARE to work with) and Alastor(a man he has undisclosed, deeply emotional history with). But everyone seems to discount his OTHER important relationship: Velvette. Which by all accounts, is INCREDIBLY normal.

Like, yeah, their first interaction opens with her yelling at him, but that's less about Vox himself and more about Valentino. As they keep talking throughout the first bit of the episode, she starts calming down, and they just seem to genuinely get along? She has every right to look upset during Stayed Gone because Vox is being really weird and she's nOT THE ONE WHO ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED HIM TO DO THIS SHIT(staring directly at Val rn), but even then during the meeting after Stayed Gone she does actually. Participate. Unlike s o m e people. Despite being on her phone the whole time(which is literally her job-), she actually pays attention and contributes real ideas! Which tbh she didn't have to do at ALL like she did not have to put up w/ Vox's bs in RKtVS the way she did. There's also their phone call during the overlord meeting which, while I definitely think Vel was playing it up to annoy Carmilla, still sounded like a conversation between two ppl who genuinely like and respect eachother!

No matter what you think their relationship is(romantic, platonic, etc...), Vox and Velvette seem to get along REALLY well(outside of Alastor-related incidents). Like, better than either of them do with literally anybody else in the show. Vox & Val do LIKE eachother, but I find whatever the fuck is going on beneath the after the battles & masterless cattles to be DEEPLY upsetting to think about for too long(ex; any of my other posts abt their relationship), and the only other interactions we've seen either Vox or Vel have are Stayed Gone & Respectless, which are literally just song battles. Both of their only interactions outside of the Vees have been song battles. Aw fuck I'm getting off topic... BACK TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP AS COLLEAGUES- okay uh basically, I don't think they would get along this well if Vox was a terrible person to work with(note I said WORK WITH. Hate that I need to specify this but I don't think Vox is a good person overall, just a good business partner). I think Velvette is generally a good bench mark for both Vox & Valentino's relationships with other characters because she's their equal, their friend, and isn't in a weird toxic relationship with either of them. Their interactions with her provide a window into how they just generally interact with people. And based off of their interactions, Vox seems to be actually pretty decent to work with when he isn't being Actively Provoked for shits and giggles or trying to sooth the tantrum of a man child. Also when he views you as an equal and doesn't own your soul that helps too.

Edit: Hiiiiiiii just here to say that now, in the light of day, I don't really agree with everything I've said in this post? I wrote it at midnight while like half asleep so my ability to consider the fact that. We barely know anything about either Vox or Velvette at this point in time. Was kind of impaired I think. Cuz we really don't. I do stand by everything I said about their relationship to EACHOTHER, and I stand by the idea that we should take that dynamic into consideration for character analysis more often, but everything else I'm a little iffy on and I just woke up like an hour ago so my brains still a little fuzzy & I can't explain exactly WHY I'm iffy on it, but just know that I think the conclusion I drew is a bit of a leap in logic at the very least and I recognize that now lol

#Idk I just think their dynamic is vastly underrated and should be used for character analysis more often #vox has a lot more layers then I think the fandom tends to give him credit for #because it's more fun to make Alastor body pillow jokes #which tbh I cant even be particularly mad at bcuz if ur doing it for the laughs then there's rlly no harm in the long run lol #also I just want more Velvette character analysis she's fun #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette #velvette hazbin hotel #gonna tag this as ship but platonic readings are welcome too tbh idrc #voxvel #velvox #staticdoll #late night ramblings #gal overanalyzes random shit

[generalluxun]

Hey. Asking about how Chloe was abused. My knowldge of abuse is fairly limited to general pop knowledge so I'm curious as to what abuse was done to her.

Okay caveats first:

I am not a medical professional, I am simply someone with a vested interest in the topic who has done more research than the average person.

There are many definitions of abuse. Legal definitions are rarely useful, as they are limited to concrete, provable, gross violations. Just as you can inflict a lot of pain on someone without leaving the marks to prove assault, you can do a lot of damage to a child without it being legally 'provable'. Medical definitions are much more helpful for discussions.

Lastly some level of extrapolation is required as it is a show. We take what we are shown. For example:We actually only have Felix's word that he was ever abused, and his first character traits sre being deceitful and manipulative. We still take his word though, because it's a show. (And also we should give weight to victim accounts!)

So both parents are guilty in different ways. We will start with Audrey, the simpler one. There's clear verbal and emotional abuse demonstrated on screen. Mis-naming your child is a form of abuse:please ask the trans community about the impact of deadnaming even in full grown adults.

Beyond that she is constantly dismissive and belittling of her child- to the exclusion of all else. Style Queen/Queen Wasp is rife with examples. There is also the clear behavior shift in Chloé. The wheeling, approval seeking, hunched posture expecting rejection. This is a *pattern* not a one off. Audrey may live in NY, but no fashion movil would be away from Paris for 13yrs straight. We are simply seeing the most recent interaction. This culminates im a child having to ask 'Why don't you love me mother?' and the response is telling

Audrey barely chokes out the strange word when trying to contradict the question. It takes Marinette literally making them both mad at her to get a bare minimum of interaction on Audrey's part. It doesn't last though. Audrey falls back into her negation behaviors and is now present to inflict them more regularly on Chloé, while also being a constant target for/model of behavior for Chloé. (Seriously it was such a misstep to write Marinette reuniting a victim with an abuser) We know the show itself considers Audrey'ss care as a bad thing because the original script had André divorcing her and takin Zoé because Zoé 'doesn't deserve you' so Chloé being in an abusive parenting situation in Representation is supposed to be 'punishment'(ewww)

André is not off the hook either. People look at him 'spoiling' her and leave it at that. Well, 'spoiling' can in fact be abusive too. Let's look at what we see:

André has been her primary caregiver for 14 years now, so he has had the most responsibility in molding what we see for good or bad(mostly bad). She does learn from him too. Darkblade she proudly announces she learned everything about winning elections from watching her father. He's also excessively arrogant (I'm the symbol of Paris!) and quite willing to abuse his power for his own ends(having Roger round up protestors etc) which explains where Chloé learned where power is to be abused.

André is also extremely neglectful as a parent, extreeeeemely. Let's hit a bunch of points in the order they come to me.

Chloé lives *alone* in a hotel suite. There's no shared space, no family area. It's not even really her room. It's commercial, sterile. Where sre her hobbies? Posters? Even her *colors*? She is so used to being ignored at home that the girl who is loud as heck everywhere else doesn't make a single mark on her living space.

A hotel employee seems to think he needs to step in to raise Chloé. Let that sink in. An employee can see how bad it is and tried to make some kind of change, (he's working against a lifetime of ingrained behavior and is not very good at it himself). He doesn't even think to you know... Get Andre in to do this.

André was unaware or didn't care his daughter hasn't done schoolwork since Sabrina *learned to write*(5/6 yrs old) that is a shocking level of disinterest in your child. 6yr olds aren't criminal masterminds.

Andre supplants actual attention and affection with *stuff* he gives material possessions in *place* of parenting. This is somewhat similar to spoiling but not the same. André's method denies the child something vital. You see- things aren't a substitute for affection/attention, developmentally. And so while they may delight they never satisfy the need. They never validate the emotional attachment. So after the shine wears off, the hole is still there. So, like someone with an addiction, the child needs more, and more, and more. Since the needs are never met, it is never enough. And this is what the child views as *normal* this is simply *how it is*. They rarely know they are being given inadequate care because it's just life to them. Seeing something different in a one off doesn't make a dent vs a whole life.

This sort of thing makes a potent cocktail when mixed with the abandonment issues from her mother too. See- if her mother left, and daddy doesn't pay attention, anyone can leave. This leads to a cycle of pushing/demanding/hurting. The child expects to be left and let down, so they both try to reassure themselves it won't happen, and *make* it happen on their own terms (because they believe deep down it will) so more outrageous demands, because when those demands are met, it shows that you are still 'loved' and when they are not met, then there you go, you are not loved and they will leave you. It's a self-destructive spiral.

You see it play out with her interactions with her classmates and Sabrina specifically. How does she express affection? Gifts. What does she do? Push. Push and push and find the breaking point because if she can make Sabrina actually leave then it shows that she herself is worthless and her mother was right to leave her and her father is right to ignore her. Pretty messed up right? Yeah. Child abuse does horrible things to kids.

We're not done with André yet. Some people might say 'he expresses love for Chloé!' and to that I say- performatively.

André likes the idea of being a father. It's what respectable people do. It looks good on camera. It's someone to love him unconditionally. It's an ally against his wife.(broken home dynamics are horrible too) André just doesn't like having to parent for more than a snapshot.

We can see his interactions with Zoé highlight this too. He's delighted she's here!(a potential person on his side vs his wife and daughter) what's his first parenting advice? 'lock your dreams away and get on with life' A+ André.

What's he do in Queen Banana? He uses his power to let Chloé manipulate the movie *kicking Zoé out of it* This is the guy who is supposed to be supporting her? He only draws the line when it comes to sending Zoé away... Why? He doesn't want to lose an 'ally'. It's power dynamics. Not parenting. Where was he when Zoé was stuck in boarding school? He was going to keep Zoé in the divorce so clearly Mr Lee isn't in the picture, Audrey probably forgot Zoé existed, why didn't André bring Zoé to France and let the sisters grow up together? Oh, right, that might be work.

André likes Zoé because she comes pre-raised(boarding school was probably better than either parent) he doesn't have to put in work and he gets a free good kid to make him look like a father. She's his 'do over' as he throws the one he raised in the trash.

André shows his true colors when he's lamenting to Gabe about his corruption and abuse and blames ot on his 'heartless daughter' you know... The child he raised. The grown man is actually shoving his own corruption and misdeeds onto his child. You really don't need much more than that.

So, via neglect, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse the Bourgeois parents raised an incredibly messed up child. Chloé is not a 'good victim' like Adrien, she doesn't sulk quietly under abuse. She lashes out. She is hurt and angry and she passes the pain on. This is why they call it the cycle of abuse.

The end of Revolution illustrates this perfectly. Audrey throws verbal abuse at her on the plane. Angry that Chloé embarrassed her(not that she did wrong, Audrey loved the power grab) and calls her a loser by implication. You *see* it hit, the physical cringe. Then Chloé immedietely goes to try and pass on the pain. She is hurt and making someone else hurt is the only way to lessen it. She calls Marinette. Marinette breaks the cycle though, and good for her. But the show seems to have forgotten there's still one hurt child in this scene, and it doesn't seem to care.

I'm going to stop here for now. I probably left a bunch out, but I do have other things I need to do. Feel free to ask more questions. Thanks for taking the time to seek answers.

#ask #chloé bourgeois #child abuse is never okay #child abuse is not justice #andre bourgeois #audrey bourgeois #zoe lee #miraculous ladybug

[appatary8523]

Dumb probably negative no context rambles under the cut

Last chance, don't ruin your mood and go back

OK you wanted it this way

1.- I like STW but I usually have to get up to do things while playing (yea sometimes in FN:BR I hide in bushes to go and do some other stuff. I've barely made any progress, the game is quite complicated to me because I don't play it often and I forget what was going on? And I don't know how to use most of the mechanics of the game(? Still, the humor is funny, the gameplay might feel repetitive from time to time but I like it, I really really like it.

I also would like to have more IRL friends who play STW (or FN in general), I bet that game mode is way funnier and rewarding in squad. But nobody plays it, and I think I have no friends who play FN? Just my older brother and he has his own duo so I'm not getting in between them (?) (and he doesn't like STW so he doesn't even have access to it). There's a dude at my workplace who plays FN but no thanks, I don't like him, he's stupid (he's the it guy who can't fix a damn thing. I hate that guy he's so stupid)

As always, I'm playing solo in this squad mode game called life (?

2.- I know I often say I'm doing it for me but, damn, I wish someone could like it the way I like it too. I'll see if it's worth the effort or if I should just finish the damn thing and save if for myself. I'm not hurt or anything alike, I was 1000% aware this was going to happen, and it's helping me improve. I think I just don't want to deal with that anymore. Sorry, I lose motivation quite often and easily

3.- I try to keep everything happy and positive in my FN blog but... I don't really like Hope. I mean she's cool and all that but I just don't like her e-girl thing going on. The only thing I like about her is the cat on her banner icon whatever the name of that thing is. Neither sunsp0t, actually y don't like a lot of things but I'll just save my awful FN opinions. I should've saved my headcanons too

4.- Surprise surprise (actually is no surprise) I'm losing followers. And I get it, I get you guys, I used to post funny things, funny drawings (or drawings in general) but now I just complain about everything. Sorry, I'm not in a good mood anymore.

I don't think people should keep following/stay suscribed to a channel, account, blog thing they dont like no more. I've seen artists (on Twitter of course) complaining about how people should not follow an account for X specific thing but I don't think that's how things work. Just like the things you like change, the things other like change too. They should NOT feel forced to like the things you like and see the things you want to share. But I guess you have to grow up to realize that. I personally don't feel offended when people stop following me, right now I'm offering nothing but negative text post, and that's OK. Curate the things you consume, make it a more pleasant experience, don't feel forced to follow someone you no longer like.

I personally follow people for a specific thing, and sometimes, like everyone, they change the things they make, but if I like their stuff I usually stick around because it's interesting! I just stop following if they change for worse (the same way I changed for worse). Still, not everyone thinks the same way I do.

5.- I still thinking I should just make another sideblog to dump all this dumb kind of posts but honestly I don't want to deal with it. Making an FN exclusive sideblog was already way too much, but I didn't want to mix all in here

6.- I guess that's what you get for interacting with people half your age.

7.- Shouldn't have joined, should've stayed away

8.- I wish we could talk, someday. I'd like to know you better. I know I don't exist for you but you mean so much for me (yea now I understand my taste for one-sided fictional relationships lol). I know, im stupid, I'm delusional, I'm, as always, daydreaming about things that will never ever happen and I will never have. I can't understand love, I can't wrap my head around the idea of being romantically involved with someone but that's OK, that kind of things are not meant for me

9.- I wish I could control whatevers going on in my mind. I wish it could slow the pace of my thoughts, I need some rest from the world but most important, I need a break from myself but I guess there's nothing I can do about it

10.- Also, Beatles song

11.- I fell asleep after posting this and I OBVIOUSLY had to edit it to add this because i DREAMED someone gave me some support words and it felt so nice and comforting jdjsjs I'm alone

12.- Morningssey song. Yes I like him too so sue me (?

#Mental diarrhea #And probably morning mental dump (? #I've been awake for several hours now and I'm doing nothing

[minobe-household]

so i believe i mentioned minobe's illness here and there, but the thing about it is that i can't really think of a way to make it clear with my usual wacky storytelling. or asks, since yuuto — the one who Has it — actually doesn't even know much of it herself. her parents never spared her the details, they just told her something was wrong. and also THAT has a lot to do with her family relationship which is a whole nother can of worms. so i'm just doin this shit infodump style.

when she was born, most of her vitals were starkly low. her parents thought this would mean she was to die whilst in infancy, but she stuck through almost exactly like that of a typical child. (cont under cut so i don't annoy the fuck outta people who don't wanna scroll through it)

essentially, her body runs off of a 'bare minimum'. just about enough that she'd be (comfortably not fucking unconscious) able to move and all. which still isn't a very good look, but it meant she was still able to take up work with her family. though an important part of this is how that affects her functioning as she grew up.

on a positive note, it makes it so that she is capable of exerting herself further before experiencing exhaustion and such, so it may provide some extra edge in some cases. her strength and speed are both quite good in this regard (probably comparable to that of the pillars, but i can't quite scale her with them since it varies a lot and at a pretty big deal o range), and her stamina is bordering inhuman entirely.

also because of this she has a surprisingly good compatibility with total concentration (although she doesn't use total constant as it's kind of something she utilizes as a diversion tool with her breathing style). however, this requires she warms herself up before being able to reach these points, adding onto her more non-offensive fighting style early on.

as for its downsides, she is extremely susceptible to conditional factors such as illness or environment. and while she does get some extra leverage in skill, inactivity following it, as well as just in general, can take a bad toll on her. it might explain why she acts so different in the day compared to during missions... and also why she didn't do as much work in her household...... :^)

note this also applies to the demon slayer mark. especially so. when it activates, she's a huge force to be reckoned with - although due to the conditions it requires, it takes a lot more work out of her to awaken it. and the second it goes away... with the sudden change in bodily state, i think it's safe to say it's not gonna look pretty. think like a drug withdrawal but like... all of them. at once. and you don't get to die from all the damn drugs in your system or lack thereof.

i haven't really thought about if her condition makes any change to the mark's curse. of course, whether it actually is legit isn't really like... confirmed considering the only account being with himejima and kokushibo's interaction (iirc i might be forgetting something) but in the assumption it does exist it may push the 25 limit a bit closer, or even further, i don't really know. probably the former lol

#not arting too hot rn so you guys get words. shoveling it onto your trays like cafeteria slop #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kny oc #i have accessed the media. (oc tag) #minobe yuuto (senei)

[heartbeatbookclub]

I feel like in general on this blog, I really do undersell exactly how private & introverted of a person I am used to be creatively, particularly in fandom spaces. When I say I've been entrenched fandom for a long time, I am not joking. Despite this, you'd be hard-pressed to find most fandom content I produced until...well, until this blog!

In fact, unless you know me in real life, it's unlikely you've ever seen any art which I've posted OUTSIDE of this blog, which is saying something, because there is a LOT of it, both original, and for shitloads of different fandoms. I am, at my core, an artist, as pretentious as that sounds; I create ad nauseam.

Despite this, I very rarely post publicly. The few times I have created a public page to post art, it was incredibly infrequent. And most of them are deleted, now. In fact, this blog is possibly the first time I've made an online account for fan content (or art in general) that has achieved general notoriety anywhere, and it's incredibly fun, but it has made me painfully aware that there's something of a reason I deleted most of my public art accounts...(/lh)

But seriously, I keep a comically low profile, despite enjoying both creating and receiving praise for creating. Part of it has to do with the particular way inspiration strikes me (the periods where I don't post to this blog are mostly actually because I'm looking for proper vision, despite wanting to create) which is why my creation of these sorts of things is so infrequent, because I know most people (particularly artists) don't do that, and it can be very concerning or frustrating to anyone paying attention.

It also creates a rather daunting prospect of creating something "good enough to share", which I have been increasingly working on not giving a shit about. And sometimes building relationships with people who sort of expect you to post/message them often, because that's the only way they know you're alive. I barely even talk to my irl friends as often as some people want to over the internet with me. It's wild.

I'm not complaining about the popularity of this blog by any means, nor how people have been interacting with it, I mostly just wanted to share that despite how it might look, it's actually significantly more normal for me to post basically nothing for months at a time and then have a burst of inspiration leading me to make like 3 posts that leave people raving for a week, then disappear of the face of the earth completely.

Like, you wanna talk how I normally am with art, I have piles of old Undertale doodles & fanfiction, which almost no one has seen, and I probably won't ever post again. I have art for a fandom I was in for maybe a week and have never done anything for again. I have drawn YouTubers I no longer watch. I have OCs which I haven't thought about in actual years. I have world concepts I literally used for a single drawing and nothing else. I have Omori fics and drawings I literally never posted publicly. There are probably people waiting on an update to a fic I wrote 6 years ago (when I was 15).

You wanna talk me in fandom spaces? There are people I know from my Undertale fandom days who I'm surprised are still posting. I know nearly every major artist in the Omori fandom on some sort of personal note (I'm still in a Discord with some of them), and they're the people who've seen my unpublished Omori art/fics. I would post stuff maybe once every month or two in that server. Most of them probably don't even realize they know me.

I know fandom drama I didn't even care about when it was happening.

For the better part of my life I've been the fandom equivalent to a mysterious stranger, blowing into a fandom maybe once a week, then once a month, then never again, people forgetting I was even ever there. There are friends I've made over social media who I've not seen or spoken to in an actual decade.

I just live my life. I make shit. Sometimes I'm active in a particular space on social media for a while. I meet some new people. I am cheesed to meet them. The case goes cold. I continue living my life. I go elsewhere.

I think this is both vitally important to understand on the internet, especially in a fandom sense (The Internet is not your life, please remember that you can literally turn your computer off and leave) and also a really bad habit I have that, while somewhat amusing, means that by nature a lot of the new friendships I make are temporary.

Also, if ever we message each other and I stop talking to you, that's not because I'm mad or forgot you or something; if I don't have anything to say I don't say anything. Small talk is my bane because it feels dishonest. Offer to play TF2 or Overwatch with me or something.

Now that I'm thinking about it, this is actually generally applicable to all online spaces I'm in, which might make the entire thing seem a little silly... There are people I've met on online games like Roblox, or old flash games, or old websites where you can PLAY those flash games, who I just disappeared from one day. A lot more of my life than I thought is intrinsically ephemeral...hm.

It's to the point that a lot of people know who I am but don't realize who I actually am because my name is sorta generic, so they don't make the connection. I make a lot of jokes about it on my main but most people don't even realize I'm The Mind Electric Guy who made the big mash-ups and also the Catboy Electric. And Johnny Johnny Electric but we don't talk about that one.

There are times where I'll have people in my comments/messages going "wait YOU'RE THAT GUY? YOU MADE THAT?!?!" about something completely unrelated, and i'm just like "yeah i was bored on a saturday". I'm like the Neil Cicierega of obscure internet/niche fandom bullshit.

Wait, so I'm like Neil Cicierega. And I've been told I resemble him more than once, so maybe that's fitting.

As a reward for making it through my silly ramblings, here's a little proof in the pudding! Here's some incredibly old DDLC fanart from my initial obsession to a little later, not exactly in chronological order. You can really see my improvement as an artist, which is actually pretty funny, because imitating some other DDLC fanartists is specifically how I started getting better at drawing people

These are incredibly old! You can tell, because they look like SHIT! I didn't really know a lot about how to draw people at this point in time, and what became my style was super poorly defined here! I have some other super old art which really shows off how bad i was at drawing people, particularly in the waist. Believe it or not, this is a better showing than most others around this time.

Hey, at least they're recognizable, right?

This right here, this is the exact moment where drawing faces started to click for me. I still think this is one of my best showings from this particular time period, even though it's still got a lot of line jank, and I'm pretty blatantly ripping from a different artist (who no longer has an online presence, so weh, have at it). I still really like this drawing, and a lot of the experimentation that was on this page.

also, you can see me trying to draw boobs for the first time! ain't that a sight!

These are a weird period where I'm drawing a lot of different things on the same sketchbook page just to fill them up, which...I mean, I guess I should be proud I used to draw that much! They certainly do look cool, too. This image of Sayori in an Adidas tracksuit is directly referenced from a picture of a Sayori cosplayer I found on Instagram once upon a time. The @ you see pictured there is my old private instagram--you can try to follow it, but I doubt you're going to get anywhere!

I think a big problem you see in a lot of these is just that I'm uncertain in my lines, even in sketching and doodling, which is still a problem I struggle with sometimes. Also I don't really get how clothes work. But this is significantly better than how some of my old art used to look like, so I'm glad for that!

Can you identify all of the other pictured characters? There are 3 musicians and 2 YouTubers present!

I drew this in 8th grade? I think? These might be slightly out of order. I really liked drawing Sayori.

I really didn't like how this turned out when I first did it. I don't often do digital pieces and even less often work in color, but when i do, they tend to take a lot of time and effort. I think this is definitely rough around the edges, but the amount of work I put in to really make this pop is something I enjoy. Just wish I'd spent longer on those hands...

Remember how I said I used to really vibe with MC x Sayori?

Yeah.

Here's some more, including a more fleshed out MC design. I think I did this my senior year of high school?

And this, dear viewers, is a Sayori I doodled from memory roughly a year ago.

I didn't really have much direction here, I just wanted to talk about this stuff, and I had these that I wanted to share. These drawings were all from roughly 2018-2023.

#more stuff coming down the pipeline as ever #i might make a general art blog at some point so stay tuned for that #ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc yuri #ddlc natsuki #ddlc mc #my art

[emystic]

Mobile Rules

There is a rule section on the blog as well, this is for all that page be inaccessible to on mobile.

Firstly, this is a hobby. My time will not always be on this blog, I don't stress over being here and I can be incredibly slow or quick about replies it just depends. Please remind me of threads and things I owe, as I may have forgotten just don't be mean or annoying about it.

Please state something is an issue privately when it first arises, this includes people I might associate with. I will not know something unless told and if I have an issue I will do the same. Communication is a key way to fix most misunderstandings. However, I cannot make promises if you have an issue with a person, but I will take what is said into account.

I do not write smut nor will I have it forced onto me, characters can be implied they had sex and speak suggestively. I just don't anyone to force me to write it. It's just not my thing

I do not like automatic romance and I don't want ships forced on me. Exes and FWBs are not romantic by nature but I don't like those on automatic either. Don't mind discussing it as an end game, but also please don't get upset if the discussion isn't always seen eye to eye.

All romantic ships need to be adult/adult and teen/teen. Age-changed and age-specific AU characters are tricky and I will judge by how the mun is general (if I feel like it's done for creepy reasons it's a no-go).

I don't care if muses are not specified, if you have one in mind that's great, and if not that's fine too! I'll try my best to pick one I think fits. However, if I do give a random one that doesn't work please DM and we can work out something different. Also, other multis that strictly want their muses specified I always respect that rule and abide by it.

I only wish to interact with people I am mutually following. Please only follow me if my blog actually interests you, I am not a meme source or someone to boast a follow count. If we barely interact it's okay activity isn't always constant on both ends, as long as I know there is still an interest. However, if I can't even get a word I will unfollow no hard feelings I rather put my vibes onto people who want to write with me.

Smaller things to be aware of:

You are accountable for reading information that was provided or is accessible, if you can't find it or simply just don't feel like looking come directly to me.

I cannot make anyone tag my url in their posts, but I strongly recommend tagging emystic so I can track things easier.

I am a freelance AI trainer so I already do a lot of typing and most of the other times I'm sleeping due to my health issues; unfortunately, I born with one of the worst bodies so if I'm not online all day or even for a few days I'm probably in bed.

#okay these are good now

[stargirlinterlude13]

Speaking of love from a female shell

is one of the biggest adversities that women and non-men share regardless of age, ethnicity, race, economic status, and all social structures we coexist upon. I was once well-versed with it and was quite proud of how I can convey my feelings and experiences with love — romantic, platonic, and static — through my art. By art, I meant the sewing projects accompanied with writings that I posted on my Instagram account. I created them with the intent of healing through the process. One might say that creating cannot suffice for the progress that real therapy provides. I refuse to believe so. I explored therapy. Encountered multiple therapists (women of color) who are amazing, caring, and just as eager to see me grow. It was great until it felt like dependent process, but that's just me. I think that the end goal of therapy is to get us to a point where we can create. In one of Ariana Grande and Westside Boogie's interviews, they mentioned how constantly writing music helped them heal. That's not medical therapy, but it did more for their hearts than what a licensed therapist could. I feel the same.

I don't create unless I am in pain. What's bad for the heart is good for the art. When I was creating my sewing projects and writing about them, I never cared for likes, shares, or the overall traction it will receive on Instagram. It just felt good putting it out there and forgetting about it, then remembering it for the feel of inspiration when planning the next project. Somehow along the way, I received kind attention about my projects through DMs. Mutuals of mutuals were admiring my work. I think that's when I grew conscious of perception. The more I shared what I create, the more I felt comfortable to talk about my heartbreak. I switched my Instagram to a business account to see more metrics. I noticed how my average likes have significantly gone down since putting out To All the Boys I've Loved Before — a sewing project where I upcycled the jump rope my father gave and incorporated it to a corset I sewed myself. In the piece, I talked about three separate love loss. In one of the pages, I subliminally threw a sentence speaking of my abortion. I don't think anyone else notice. But for the keenest eyes and clear hearts, it was probably obvious.

Unlike my other projects, this received less than 300 likes... Then my following posts' likes have significantly gone down as well. My selfies. My outfits. My monthly photo dumps. I know the world is not about me but let's be for real — that got me like????? I noticed how certain people I admire also stopped interacting with my posts. Did my writing sound problematic? Do I exude victim complex?

At that time, I was dating someone I deeply loved. We were 5 months down and he still has not offered me commitment. In my head, choosing to not publish my work that speaks of love shows that I am an impostor against my soul. Why would I not post it? To cater to his desire? But of course, once I started noticing the metrics against my favor, I felt that the general reaction and lack of reaction from people also signified his perception of me. He was 24 turning 25, has a career at Google, and his family are just as successful as he is. My initial reflection after posting my craft was that maybe I'm coming off too vulnerable and therefore unprofessional. Maybe he did not want to associate himself with someone who bares her heart out in the digital space. It's my voices in different pitches speaking in my head, but you can't deny that these are not valid predicaments.

bell hooks spoke of female-shelled writers not being taken seriously when they speak of love, so she did the opposite. She wrote of death. To All the Boys I've Loved Before was my most vulnerable work. And the last one I've published to date. I did not feel the spark to put my work out anymore because it just felt embarrassing. It felt dramatic rather than raw. Victimized rather than honest.

As 2022 was drawing to an end, I felt a huge death of self unraveling. I knew his heart was elsewhere. I could lay down with him five times a day, twice a week, every week of every month, send messages everyday, call each other, share meals, explore the city together, exchange music, create art that caters to his senses, and do all that's imaginable of lovers, but I can never change the core of his desires. When 2023 began, I could already feel that he's on the brink of ending things. I laid low. I have not been posting since late November of 2022, but December and January was an utter silence on all my platforms. Even when I was the only one who could see it, I also stopped sewing and writing on my own. He decimated me of my will to create. And my will to create is powered by the need to speak of love. February of 2023 came through and he ended us. I swore to myself my shell will only vocalize my success and all that's beautiful. I vowed to reserve my vulnerability only to the worthy ones. Not even social media will bear witness of my deepest emotions. It hurt so much I aimed for a "rebrand" that seemed so unrealistically curated. I could never seem to find the balance between being reserved and open, but I think I'm mastering it now.

My silence that began in November and lasted through March — commanded by fear — has now become a choice. My silence is not sadness. I choose not to speak of love to strangers because not many are blessed with the kindness to understand. My silence is protection. When we speak of love within the confines of our own minds, we return to ourselves. Society's perception of female-shelled artists speaking of love may not change, but continuously acknowledging our feelings of it, even if it's just on our own, is a form of power. I spoke too much lol, but I guess what I'm tryna say is that sometimes there's power in silence. Choosing silence does not mean the outside world influences you into hiding; sometimes, it's because sharing it to a select few is enough to be heard.

[cheesybadgers]

can we also take a second to talk about some Pedro fans kinda fetishising Pedro playing a gay character? I’ve seen some fans being super disappointed that there’s no explicit and graphic gay sex scene for them to watch and it feels so gross? Like is that all you care about? Seeing Pedro naked and watching him have pretend sex with another guy?

I have mixed feelings about this, because I completely get the type of concerns you're talking about and believe me, I share plenty of concerns when it comes to the way the PP fandom behaves re: LGBTQ+ issues (I'll get to some more of them in a minute). But I also don't want to perpetuate the notion that gay sex is some sort of 'fetish', or more taboo than heterosexual sex.

If a story centres on a romantic relationship, regardless of gender/sexual orientation, it's very human for a part of that to involve sex (not saying it HAS to, of course, but often it does). Wanting to see that as part of a story and as part of those characters' relationship isn't wrong, I don't think; it's human nature. And people engage with media for all kinds of personal reasons (especially ones relating to sexuality and gender), so you can't ever really assume what someone is getting out of it unless they choose to tell you.

BUT, having said all of that, I don't trust that specific fandom as far as I could throw them on queer stuff lol. It's been a little bit galling since the SWOL trailer dropped to see some (very popular) accounts, who I know for a fact have continuously ignored/snubbed/plagiarised LGBTQ+ creators and their creations in the PP fandom for years, suddenly act like they're connoisseurs of queer media and are yearning for gay characters when they've often been unwelcoming towards queer fans/creations/characters in their own fandom in the (very recent) past.

I barely read fic for any of his characters anymore, but back around 2020/2021 there was a trend of Oberyn's bisexuality being erased in GOT fic....and let's not even get started on the hysterics whenever anyone suggests PP himself might be anything other than heterosexual. Obviously, I don't condone prying into any celebrity's private life, but the homophobic/biphobic comments earlier this year off the back of some pap and social media photos left a bad taste in my mouth.

It's because of the above I'm actually surprised there are people enthusing about gay sex in this fandom, beyond those who already make/support LGBTQ+ content, because anything that threatens the Internet Boyfriend Fantasy is usually met with hostility 😂

I've spoken before about how I've never in all my fandom years experienced anything quite like the PP reader insert phenomenon, so my concern was/is that people will ignore the gay aspect of SWOL and just write female reader insert fics instead. And I wouldn't be surprised if some are still engaging with this film in a self insert-type way, rather than through the characters' lens, because that's generally the culture of the fandom and they don't tend to interact with m/m stories, nor are some even aware of PA or his work. Not excusing any of it, but I've been here since 2020 and this is what it's always been like...in fact, it's actually got worse as a lot of diverse creatives left the fandom and PP has become more popular.

So, yeah, I do think you're absolutely right to be worried about the way this fandom interacts with LGBTQ+ media and treats real LGBTQ+ people, and obviously no one wants to see top/bottom discourse or whatever in the year of 2023, but I'd also say the problem is a lot more ingrained, subtle and passive aggressive than that.

#And it's a large reason I've taken a huge step away from a lot of it this year tbh #Especially when you immerse yourself in other fandoms who AREN'T like this and you realise how...not normal it is lol #Fandom #Ask #Asks #Replies

[smileysuh]

hi I know this is weird to ask but idk who to ask about this and I feel really comfortable asking you.

How do you not be awkward or dry.

Idk why I feel I’m a very awkward person I don’t really know how to hold a convo and I feel I’m a very dry texter. like I see videos abt dry texting on my fyp on tiktok and it’s actually like me. like sometimes I won’t be one but also I feel it’s the people I talk to who are also dry. Like I was texting some people on my spam account and I can see I'm not really dry maybe a bit awkward but I felt comfortable and was having fun idk why I cant be like that all the time and be like that in person. Also idk how to make small talk in class or in general I want to make more friends and be less awkward but I can’t. like I’m a pretty quiet person but this school year I did make more friends I realized that I only talk to them in school and not really online like barely so I feel we aren’t really friends but like close classmates. Also, it’s just awkward texting them sometimes like idk what to say or ask. Like idk does anyone have advice? It’s weird I wish I wasn’t awkward and could talk to people and hold a convo. sorry I feel like i’m ranting but I would really appreciate some advice. thank you so much.

it's not weird to ask at all! I'm glad you felt comfortable messaging me :) and don't worry- you're not ranting :)

I feel like- in the age of the internet, where everyone is consuming such different content- it can be hard to find a common ground you're comfortable enough in to not be awkward or dry. If you do find a common ground, and you're in an online forum - as you mentioned - it can still be awkward cuz you can't rely on reading someone else's body language to see if you should keep going with your approach to the conversation.

Making small talk can be hard as fuck- I have an asd diagnosis, so believe me- I know how hard it can be 💕 i've found that finding people of a similar neurotribe to be very important in gaining social confidence- we live in a world where people can be quick to judge, so learning to stretch your social wings in an environment where you're among friends can help a lot-

maybe your school has a kpop club or a dungeons and dragons club or whatever floats your boat! the thing with socializing, and physics, is that getting the ball rolling is the hardest part- putting yourself out there in unfamiliar/new social situations can be rough, but the more you do it, the more you'll get better at it :)

as is the case with anything - socializing included - it sometimes helps to come with some studying under your belt - you could try to come up with some general questions for small talk as you're getting to know people- I've found that in this day and age, people don't like talking about their jobs too much- but if you ask the question 'have you seen any good movies or shows lately?' people often DEEP dive into what makes them nerd out, and that's always a great starting point :) maybe you have some shows/movies in common? a hatred for the same character? a childhood movie that you two can plan to watch with some buddies? or if you're not a movie kind of person, you can ask what activities someone gets up to- it's a good doorway to going on a hike together or out to play some tennis or join a chill ultimate frisbee team :)

at the end of the day- not everyone is on the market for friends, and when you face social rejection, most of the time it has less to do with you and more to do with the person you're trying to interact with already being overwhelmed/having a full plate :)

just remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, you're lovable and deserve to have friends without making drastic changes to who you are, and not everything works out - but when it does, that's the basis for growth :)

Good luck!!!!!!

#inbox #i hope this sort of helps! #it's giving mister darcy from pride and prejudice #and what does that man do? #he practices :) he learns- he does his best #and you'll find people who think your best is enough :) #as well- whether you are asd or not - you can look up small talk videos on tiktok #there will be lots of different opinions there on approaches to socializing #maybe one of those will fit better than my 'ask what movies they like' question :) #tbh tho- some people are just kind of conversationally more dry- #and if you're not vibing with that then thats fine! #keep an eye out for an extroverted adhd-er in the need of a new quiet introvert bestie ;) #truly tho- i've found that the best base for a friendship is one common deep interest :)

[chrissv4mp]

any tips on how to actually start a tumblr acc? I've seen so many people say to just start off with blurbs and hcs, but I've posted literally nothing on my acc, and I really want to, I just don't know where to start😪

these tips might he helpful but they also might not (cause i barely give advice & will probably just repeat what other have said...), but sure!

if there's a fandom/singer/youtuber/influencer you're really interested in or just love in general, then maybe start by writing little one-shots or blurbs for them!

my first regret was definitely keeping to myself and not interacting with others, so i highly recommend you make some friends on here cause the people on this app are super supportive and just nice in general.

i don't really remember much of how i grew my account, but i do remember using lots of tags that corresponded to the person/fandom i wrote about.

tags really do work to get you on people's dashboard!

when i posted my first one-shot it didn't really get much attention, but when i continued posting things similar to my first work i got some more notes & reblogs.

(based on my experience & what i've done) reblogging other writers' works is really helpful as well. it gets you on more people's dashboards & makes people go to your account. that's how i found out about most of the writers i follow.

just reblogging with compliments or just simply commenting on a person's work could gain you a follow from that writer as well. i just try to seem approachable & try to interact with others.

i really hope this helps, and if it didn't, i'm super sorry i am horrible at giving tips/advice😭 if you didn't learn anything from these tips, then just be yourself. that's what i've been doing for most of my time on here.

#amiyah's yap sessions💞 #amiyahs asks! #my inbox🥁 #anons!❤️‍🩹

[daughter-of-dialga]

💎 || ROLEPLAYING RULES AND GUIDELINES:

💎 [ About the Mun ] 💎

• Hi and hello, I'm Rosaiel but you can call me Rosa for short! My main blog is Rosaiel; it's mostly for posting my art and reblogging stuff in general.

• I'm a 28-year-old digital artist who's technically a veteran roleplayer, as I have been making characters and roleplaying since my wee middle school years!

• I sort of took a couple years off from roleplaying due to some really bad experiences on a roleplaying website that with stay anonymous for now. However, I'm trying to get back into the swing of roleplaying as I genuinely miss it, so please bare with me!

• I'm non-selective for the most part; so long as you give me a little something to work with, then we're good to go!

• I usually try to match what you write, but sometimes I go overboard! I just really like to write; if I end up writing ten paragraphs, you by NO MEANS have to match that! Go to your own pace; contrary to popular belief, I will NOT be upset if you don't write the same anount as I do! xD

• If you don't want to roleplay and would much prefer to send asks instead, go for it!!! I love asks that delve into character development to be honest. I love thinking about my characters and asks often help me develop my characters in ways I never would have thought of myself. 👀

• I love reading tags??? Seriously some of y'all put some really interesting and funny comments in the tags. Keep 'em coming my funky lil' dudes!

• I also love talking to folks OOC (Out of Character)! If you want to send me an ask that's OOC just to talk, go right ahead! Just make sure you clearly mark it as OOC so I don't mistake it for an in-character reaction.

• Most of the artwork you'll see on this blog is mine*; if it's not, it's either reblogged from another artist or it was a commission that I had permission to post here!

*Just because the artwork on this blog is mostly mine does not give you permission to use it what-so-ever, in any way, shape, or form!

• I'm very friendly but also very shy, so if you want to roleplay, it might be easier if you approach me first. Sorry about that.

💎 [ Roleplaying Rules ] 💎

I know, I know. No one likes rules, but given the bad experiences I've had in the past, I need to lay down some rules.

• First of all, no hate. What-so-ever. I don't care if you don't like me, my character(s), someone I roleplay with, a character I interact with, or if there's oc x canon content on my blog; hate will NOT be tolerated. Also there's nothing wrong with oc x canon; y'all just want to normalize bullying through silly, trivial things. :)

• I have anonymous asks on currently. If people abuse this and harass me or make me feel uncomfortable through it, anon asks WILL be turned off permanently. No exceptions.

• If I follow your blog on my main account, that means I want to roleplay with you at some point! I'm just very shy. ;; I am open to roleplaying with both Pokemon OCs/Canons and Non-Fandom OCs! I love AUs and fully welcome them as well! I am Crossover friendly, and Multi-ship friendly as well! 💎

• Do not rush me to reply. I understand being excited about a roleplay and wanting it to continue asap, but please understand that I suffer from severe depression and some days, I just don't wanna reply. I will get to it when I get to it. I promise. 💙 If you have any concerns about if I got your reply, if I'm still interested in the roleplay, or just want to check in, that's a-okay! I understand that Tumblr can sometimes be fickle and doesn't always send notifications, so I'm okay with folks checking in! All I'm asking is for y'all to not be forceful, pushy, or demanding. I've dealt with this before in the past and it is not a nice feeling. :(

• I sometimes drop roleplays because I am a poophead and I'm either feeling the Big Sad, I genuinely forgot, or because I just sometimes lose interest/don't know how to continue the plot. If you want us to continue a roleplay I dropped, let me know! I'll try my hardest to pick it back up! ;v; If I can't, I'll tell you. 💙

• Upon our first roleplay, please assume that our characters have not met, even if you've seen me interact with another version of your character on someone else's blog; I treat each roleplaying blog as their own character, so if I have not interacted with your blog before, then it's to be assumed that our characters have not met! Unless we have previously discussed this matter, of course. xD

• You don't need to discuss a plot with me beforehand; if you want to send a starter out of nowhere, go ahead! Just please nothing that would make me uncomfortable. I also reblog a ton of sentence starters, which can be used at any time!!! 💙 Doesn't matter how long ago I reblogged it; if it's on my page, it's good to go!

• Nothing extremely NSFW please. I'll answer some more 'risky' questions, but if you're specifically looking for ERPs and straight up porn, I'm not your girl. That kind of stuff makes me very uncomfortable due to trauma. I'll imply it happened if plot comes to it, but I'm not gonna sit there and write it out and upset myself. Sorry, but no. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE UNDERAGE. I will not hesitate to block you if you're underage and are trying to get me to ERP with you; I'm not about to get myself in trouble just because you can't control yourself. Blood and gore is fine with me and so are fights, magic, ect. Just do not God-Mod (making your character overpowered and making the fight unfair by always landing hits and always dodging attacks), take control of my character, or Perma-Kill. Severely injuring or wounding my character is okay though!

• I will not ship with characters that are under 21. Rosa is a grown adult and will only date other grown adults. If you do not have your character’s canon legal age written in their character bio, I will not ship with you. Period.

• Rosa's backstory is heavy and contains heavy topics. For this reason, I am considering this blog 18+. Do not follow if you can not handle 18+ topics. You can see a list of trigger warnings for topics this blog may contain [here].

• I will give out my Discord to folks that I am comfortable with and have interacted with quite a few times with! I'll let you know if I'm comfortable with you yet or not. C:

💎 [ About the Character ] 💎

Please Note; Rosaiel is my persona. She represents many, MANY aspects of myself. Please beware of this and respectful of this as you interact with her.

"Life is pleasant, death is peaceful; It's the transition that's troublesome."

💎 Playlist || Reference Sheet || ToyHou.se

• Full Name: Rosaiel Aimsir-Scotia Ó Ceallacháin

• Species: Human

• Age: 28 (Human Years)*

• Gender: Female (♀) - She | Her Pronouns

• Universe: Altered-Mainline Pokémon Video Game Universe**

• Voice Headcanon: 'Alex Chen' from the video game Life is Strange: True Colors

• Occupation: Fulltime Freelance & Independent Artist / Part-time Pokemon Rehabilitator / Retired Pokemon Trainer

• Current Residence: Alola - Malie City

• Personality: [A strong energy prevents you from reading this.]

• Backstory: [A strong energy prevents you from reading this.]

• Pokemon Roster: [Here]

* At the time of writing this post!

** To see what has been altered about the mainline series, you can look [here].

-

That's all for now, hope to hear from you all soon!

And remember;

#roleplay #ooc #info #pokemon rp #pokemon roleplay #pokemon #my art #rosa speaks #out of character

[mindrole]

Question about reposting to Twitter (sorry if it's silly): by reposting you just mean stuff you post here, right? You're not going to change course and only post there and not here?

I wish I could give advice otherwise, but I don't use Twitter (which is why I'm asking this in the first place) also hope you recovered well from being sick!

i've been good and healthy! thanks for the well wishes!

when it comes to this i prefer posting on tumblr massively, so don't worry about me moving and setting up there as a main platform or whatever! its comfy here! i like the base of lurkers i've cultivated.

tbh it is mostly a "i wanna post art on twitter because the fanbase is largely over there" kind of ego thing. at first, i assumed i would be posting in parallel, but.. honestly tweeting should be a spur of the moment thing for me, and i have no sense for maintaining side accounts and accounts for specific subjects in particular (this blog in and of itself is a miracle). also i feel watched if i'm out of my element. i don't think it's possible for me to suddenly switch my main hub of cell series posting unless i somehow gained a group of people to bounce off of on a daily basis. i can't use twitter just to post mindlessly like i do here, i like to be chatty instead. at least on tumblr i entertain myself. idk what the difference is. i can use my own personal account just fine weirdly enough, but side accounts never tend to work out and i forget they exist quickly.

basically all i've been wondering from anyone who may know or may be interested in seeing it... the methodology of crossposting my art to twitter when its been a while.. tbh all i draw these days are doodles and stuff that's only funny to me so the mental block is a little strong. it's like "eh... it's not worth the effort.."

initially i intended on mirroring my longer text posts too, like on fusetter or something, but eh... ehhh.... i'll just keep it on tumblr... it's the same thing isn't it. so i'm only concerned with my art right now

also i feel kinda dumb tagging most of the art whenever i post it. but i also don't have much reach on twitter yet, so posting art without tagging it and having people follow until i build something up feels pointless. but also back to the point feeling dumb, i don't mind being seen at all, but i don't want anyone to scroll and go "what's this guy doing here" and such... idk why but it's probably mental illness. i just don't like to stand out in a way that makes me look like i'm trying too hard. but idk how to appear effortless (<-see i overthink too much, there's probably nothing of the sort going on)

but i want to at least semi-cultivate a habit of crossposting stuff even if it's not all of it!! idk if that makes sense.

ironically i think there is very little audience on tumblr compared to twitter for the corner/niche i've accidentally occupied (i.e. being obsessed with the interlude+com+characters that barely exist for some reason especially since i don't post about the main game that much anymore). also just in general i feel like my way of thinking is too strange. i can't fathom that people keep coming back to check over here. thank yew🥺🩷 (<-he was shot out back for this)

every day i am perplexed why this blog has people keeping watch on it, i feel very humbled and happy about it but i also scratch my head a little bit. it's very fun even if confusing. i like the level of interaction i have. so i'm not gonna switch over...!!! don't worry!!!

at the very least i have every intention continuing to archive my art in the poipiku attached to the twitter account... the twitter account itself however, is at a standstill, i have no idea what to do with it, which is why i'm doing the last ditch "phone-a-follower" effort

#ask #anonymous #sorry i talked your ear off even though you have no advice for me #i do be a blabbermouth #maybe someone will see the specifics and know how to handle this... #tl;dr i like when people see my art ^_^ #my art is for sharing after all

[thetruthaboutnolan]

So I see and hear my name being brought up A LOT recently. I also see that people have been witching hunting for me on a lot of blogs. You people are worse than you claim I was haha. Deranged Obsessive Stalker Fans is like the tip of that iceberg.

Any who, decided to make my first non RPC related blog just so you people have somewhere to stalk and direct all your hate to. Granted, I'm really only going to log on to laugh and keep track of nonsense and yes anons are turned off. So either block this blog or stop being cowards but I suppose only one of us can be brave. In the meantime let me answer a few questions that I've seen recently. Are you INSERT BLOG HERE?

Nope, none of them. As I've stated multiple times, I don't have a personal blog or do any RPT, RPH-style stuff. I actively avoid all those tags given how toxic and apeshit they are which is proven when my name was so much as uttered. Haven't thought about you all in years and now I feel power, I feel above all these 40+-year-old trolls, well I am above them let's be honest I can run two groups both passing their two year mark in a couple of months, work a demanding job, have a fiancee, run classes (more on that later), and take part in AW tournaments out of state, and be dog dad without turning bitter and ugly.

Did I attempt S██████?

Yes, thank you guys for that. Yes, both attempts were because of the RPC HERE and that alone. It is well known I'm bipolar and even now I'll skip the meds here and there when I feel fine and know I'll just take them tomorrow. That is why it kind of makes me laugh that there was Nolan trigger warning. Was that for you or me? I love the talk of caring about mental health and positivity but then when you get told someone you don't like actually almost ends it all because of your actions and lies it's basically THIS.

Have you seen the recent stuff?

I have and again 98% of it is stuff I've never heard of, don't know these people, never knew these groups existed. Even showed it to my fiancee and even he laughed while saying I've been a busy boy. There is one person I wanna call out though because even without the posts I can link to and the screencaps I have saved which they provided ZERO PROOF OF THEMSELVES, I can discredit their ass with Google.

@katherine-mcnamara Like ........................ ahhhhhhh I'm going to be nice, my therapist has been helping me with my tendency to destroy someone that comes at me in general, let alone with obvious lies. I could go into how you are more emotionally unstable off meds than I am and how you don't have a single thought inside your head that a friend didn't give you and the chronic 'freshmen trying to make the seniors think she's cool' vibes. Or even the other dramas buried in the tags about you. But I won't since I still have an atom of respect for you.

Now, I didn't know anything about this Gonzo person you claim is me. I had people on another blog reveal it to me that he was the creepy pedophile you and your friends sicced on a poor girl back in 2012. How the screencaps about it were on a TUMBLR RP but your claiming it was Jcink now. There was talk of him coming back over and over but never that he was using my alias. You also say you know it was me from OOC discord interactions (this is what gotcha). Then you kind of bounce the timeline saying it was before I came to tumblr (early 2014 by the way) so I'll be generous and say 2013 - 2014. You also stated in a now deleted post that I 'was known for being in many jcink and discord servers even before coming to tumblr' bare in mind that was early 2014.

NOOOWWWWW for those of you who have my discord username the one I stopped using for RP back in 2020 I now have a discord specifically for tumblr RPs. Actually sold it to a guy I met on DBD for 20 bucks like a month or two ago. I ask you to check the creation date of that account which you can do simply by right clicking my name and click on Profile. *dramatic drum roll*................. that's right!!! March, 2017. Now please, open any search engine webpage and type in 'When was Discord made.' I'll wait.......................................what?!?!?! May 13, 2015.................. Something about these dates .... the math ain't mathing.

I'll do you better. Now please all you 30+ year-old RPC members recall with me. It's 2014 til let's say, randomly, May 12th 2015. If your group had an OOC space of any kind. What were the two most popular and used ones. If you said OOC side blogs off of the main or Skype groups, Venmo request me for your ten US dollars.

Now lets cover the gap between when discord was made and when the ONLY account ya'll can even remotely link to me was made. so 2015 til 2017. I had my first ALT+DELETE attempt after leaving WOTNA which according to their blog looking through the archive for it, was AUG 27 2015. Now at this time I'm completely unknown only had drama on this site and can only find my alias mentioned on any group back then being WOTNA and ALR where I was right before here. Now, I completely disappear for most of this year. I wonder why ....yeah.... that. When I do come back the first mention of me is on Mount Prospect, no drama and I was only there for like 3 weeks. Jo did steal my characters by keeping them as skeletons after I asked they be deleted, just saying. Then Raven's RP. I tried to join it she being the horrible person that she is cusses me out for semicolons and lets someone use my bio to make my character with a different name and very slight edits. Then silence for 6 months and .....I moved sequence from its 2013-2014 jcink forum to here and for like 3 years it was impossible to be anywhere else for more than a week beforing getting kicked out an a rather uncomfortable message that basically was 'you didn't do anything HERE.... but....". I do wonder based on what you can see..... how interesting that the original home for Sequence has similarities to what was 'stolen' from Raven but you know I stole everything for it and not had something that actually predates the creation of their so-called stolen materials. Its truly a mystery only forces we can't begin to comprehend can truly solve.

Do you hate women?

Nope, 90% of my posting partners identify as female. This started because after Raven's assault on me I called them a bitch. I also was using she/her pronouns for them as that's what they used and allowed me to use when cussing me out over grammar for my app on their site. Didn't know what RPH blogs were back then or that they had one with they/them as their pronouns. But those two things combine got one of the 'he's called them a bitch, he hates women!!' narrative going. If ya'll remember that actual origin how many of you would flip that it wasn't sexist today? After that it just got added to when I'd join a group, someone handed the link to Raven's post and they'd kick me then claim 'he was sexist to us women'. Even today If I join another group and they eventually see that crap, most don't care but toxic ones do. I can't not wanna plot or ship with the first female character that comes to me without an 'oh you do hate women then' comment. And I thought I was the one forcing plots on people?

Are you RPing on Discord?

Yes and no. I have joined Zero group RPs. people that have apologised to me privately while having gone apeshit on me publically have opened 'indie servers' for us to post on together. And yes, I let the narrative I roleplay on discord go without it specifically being indie with those that asked if I would for a reason. to see you crazy fans do your crazy fan thing, and it worked. I do run two classes though on my business discord. One for webdesign an another teaching the use of the Midjourney bot both basic and detailed prompt formatting and for getting a consistent character and using it to create art for our characters along with face swapping and even getting vids/gifs from other AI with those images.

Do you use They/Them Pronouns?

I do actually. At first it was simply because I like the 'Nolan who are they' vibe. But then started to correct everyone in real life with them and now everyone uses them for me and I do as well. So yeah, all you who have been using He/Him since 2020 are hatefully misgendering bigot monsters. And I am waiting for the apologies to rain in. I apologized for misgendering Raven all those years ago but you all ignore it to this day but I won't ignore yours and like with anyone else it is owed.

How many accounts do you have?

Like............ 50+ on here. I make a new email and blog for every RP I join and I've been on a lot and only had 'drama on four, three made up drama after I left. Apparently, that count is higher. active accounts though...... well 6 for one of my groups, 4 for the other, and 1 for the three groups that aren't mine that I'm in so 13 total I believe.

The Nolanverse?

Honestly this makes me laugh. None of the people who actually know me and actually have interacted with me made that up. This comes from this new guard of players who created it and its funny especially since back in 2013 not wanting to use my real name I thought of one I could use and the Christopher Nolanverse for batman was a thing and where it came from.

#rpt #rph #rpc #rp talk #later losers