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arklay · 2 years

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NEED to know more about this clown pairing. who are they. from what series. pls tell me i need to know!

OKAY SO the clown pairing is one of my resident evil ocs and wesker... yep. clown behaviour. oc still doesn't have a name even though i've had her for almost a month... but she's an evil gal. bioweapons developer. virologist. you get the gist

um. so they are constantly rotating in my mind, so i have so many thoughts about these two it's ridiculous. some general facts about miss no name and then about the two of them incoming!!

she was actually a virologist for The Organisation who was planted amongst umbrella's researchers in the mid 90s. she gathered development information for the rival company while also conducting her research as usual. however, she didn't steal any samples or work in your typical espionage operations

worked primarily in the nest and helped develop the hunter r model after improving on william birkin's original α model. basically becomes the source of the organisation developing their own hunters. she loves these little frog-lizard dudes

met wesker shortly after he returned from being a mole in the us army and before being assigned the role of stars captain. of course seeing as she worked with william quite a bit and had easily wrapped him around her finger, she met wesker through him

quickly gathered that wesker was still working for umbrella and was undercover in stars, not just some career change where he left for the army and decided a job in law enforcement was for him, but she didn't say anything about it

often found themselves running into each other. like at times it would be when he was visiting william in the lab, meaning she was never too far away, and other times it truly was just chance meetings around raccoon city

she constantly challenged him and would never back down when he resorted to intimidation. she was always so calm and composed, but there was something about her that intrigued wesker. he knew there was more to her, but somehow she even managed to fool him

the first time she told him she loved him, he dealt with so much internal conflict, but he couldn't deny that he loved her as well. he didn’t say it back at the time. but after a while, when she’s just staring at him and won’t say what she’s thinking, he suspects it’s about that. and says that he may have not said those three words since then, but he has said it in many other ways

they were together for almost two years before he proposed, then a couple of months before the mansion incident they got married

definitely teases him whenever he shows even the slightest bit of a soft side

not long before the events at the mansion, alpha team got a glimpse of their captain actually being you know, human. she had managed to get caught in the middle of one of their missions and had been so injured she needed cpr. wesker was immediately on it and no matter how tired he got, he didn't let anyone take over. and when someone made a comment of how long it had been and maybe it was time to stop, he snapped, a threat was actually thrown their way, and the entire team were just taken aback. he didn’t give up until he heard that tiny gasp. and when they're at the hospital, either one of the staff or a member of his team asked what his relation to her was and he simply replied that he's her husband

okay i really want to write this thought but have no brain power. he snuck through the city and headed home after the mansion was destroyed and she just rushed over to him, seeing him covered in dried blood and his vest and shirt in tatters. she traced the almost fully healed wound on his abdomen and whispered that it worked. the virus he injected worked. then she saw his eyes. he didn’t know they had changed but she told him that she liked them. ran him a bath and talked about their plans from there, how she would play the mourning widow for a while then they would just disappear. the organisation would have new jobs for them

worked as a researcher for tricell, though like her past employment, she held no loyalties. was simply interested in her research and used whatever resources were available to her

was actually the one to administer pg67a/w to wesker after he developed it when he began losing strength and started to show signs of the virus in his body failing

she was probably involved in the experiments on jill. considering she worked on uroboros with wesker, finding jill’s antibodies and reducing the fatality rate of the virus was something they strived for

a few days before the events in kijuju, she left for sejm island to deliver an uroboros sample to alex. but beforehand she proposed that they use excella’s attraction towards wesker to their benefit, make her believe he trusted her by allowing her to give him his injections, therefore securing the resources for the uroboros plan before ultimately he would get rid of her. is this because he grew irritated of her and she grew spiteful? perhaps...

wesker doesn’t die at the volcano. almost does, sure. but some part of him remains and she finds him. she transports him back to an abandoned facility and puts him in stasis, and for years she just works on anything that would regenerate his body. it’s a slow and exhausting process but she does do it eventually

a sad thought though. during those years, she rarely hired other researchers, and if she did, she disposed of them shortly after. so she grew extremely isolated. and she often found herself talking to him through the glass of his chamber, or while she was reading over her notes, as if they were having a normal conversation like they used to

actually injected herself with uroboros at some stage and unsurprisingly, the virus adapted to her dna. one apparent change was her eyes, they became a golden yellow with narrowed pupils

oh and the clown emoji tag started on my oc blog because she didn’t have a name and i was ashamed of my behaviour, but now i’m like yep. this is how it is now.

#thank you for allowing me to be unhinged. you opened a can of worms here #okay that is enough for now but i do have many more thoughts that i might like try write one day because the brain rot is so severe #oh AND i didn't mention it here because am still collecting all the thoughts but know that she hates umbrella and spencer <3 finding out #what happened to wesker... how his whole life had been planned out for him and he was manipulated into this made her so unbelieveably angry #oc: diana #pair: ewskers #asks.#anonymous

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oosteven-universe · 3 years

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Future State: Gotham #1

Future State: Gotham #1 DC Comics 2021 Written by Joshua Williamson & Dennis Culver Illustrated by Giannis Milonogiannis Lettered by ALW’s Troy Peteri The event that was DC Future State continues in its own ongoing title starring the Bat-Family, beginning with the epic story “Hunt the Batman.” Disaster strikes Gotham City, and all evidence points to the Next Batman! Red Hood must choose justice over his family and allies when the corrupt Magistrate enlists him to bring in the new Batman dead or alive! Featuring the entire cast from the popular Future State Batman titles, this new series kicks off the next chapter in this forbidding world of tomorrow, and does so in brilliant, monochromatic storytelling! This black-and-white series will showcase the brutal world that’s around the corner in Future State Gotham! To be honest this wasn’t really on my radar until I was at my local store and saw this amazing variant cover. This caused me to open it up and flip through it and when I saw the black & white interiors I knew I had to have it. Upon reading this I knew it was going to be one of my new obsessions. Full disclosure, I’ve never been a Bat-Family kind of guy sure there’s Dick Grayson who’s my favourite Robin and now Nightwing and Barbara’s Bat-Girl but other than that not so much. I did vote to kill Jason Todd off so that he’s back is a bit disheartening and to see his role in this gives me mixed emotions. But all in all i’m into this and I want to see where it is going to go. Love the way that this is being told. The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is presented exceptionally well. Opening with a giant Scarface being driven by Wesker certainly grabs the readers attention in all the right ways. The character development is interesting and it has the desired effect that actually makes you want to see more of these characters in order to understand just what motivates them. The pacing is superb and as it takes us through the pages revealing the twists & turns along the way right up to that cliffhanger ending well it’s just perfectly done. I like how we see this being structured and how the layers within the story are shown and even how the origins begin which is something I’ve never seen done this way before. How everything works together to create the story’s ebb & flow as well as how it moves the story forward is achieved extremely well. I love the bold and daring way that we see the black & white interiors. The linework is extraordinary and how the sketchy and near manga, very Akira inspired, work is mind numbing. How we see the composition within the panels and how backgrounds are utilised so judiciously bring us this amazing depth perception, sense of scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the book beautifully. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a remarkably talented eye for storytelling. With the new looks to the heroes uniforms and these Peacekeeper uniforms it definitely has a more unique tone and feel to them that we don’t normally see in Western culture. There is everything to love about this and very little if anything to dislike about it. I thought Bruce Wayne was back in the original version but I could be mistaken and if he is than Jason is working for him while the rest of the family isn’t in the loop regarding what he’s up to. The ending makes this abundantly clear though this new Batman and his methods are not what the family is all about and yet I have the feeling that so long as he’s the focus of the Magistrate and the Peacekeeper’s attention than Bruce is free to do what he needs to do to reclaim Gotham from this latest threat, yes the Magistrate is a threat. This is exciting, different than we’re used to and it really has a brave new mood, tone and feel to it that will excite new and old fans alike.

#Comic Books #Comics Reviews #DC Comics

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zipp0flare · 4 years

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Just finished marathoning all six live action Resident Evil movies with my dad today (well, five of them and the last half of Apocalypse). I will admit, I was a pleb who was introduced to the series through these movies, and hadn’t even seen a Resident Evil game until Biohazard came out. Sooo... my introduction to the series was less than the best.

Now that I know more about the ACTUAL Resident Evil characters (or, more than my literal ZERO knowledge when first watching these movies and several re-watches after), plus with the amount of time that has passed, it’s... kinda obvious how bad some of these movies were (well, one in particular I always hated, even before knowing more about the games).

So, to honor this marathon and my new opinions, I decided I REALLY wanted to rank these bois and my opinions of them from worst to ‘best’, because absolutely no one asked for this. This is literally all for fun, no hard feelings, I just. I really want to talk about my opinions/feelings for these things.

In last place, we’ve got the third movie, Extinction. This one, even before I knew more info, was my least favorite of the movies. From the Alice clones, to the crazy, psychic super powers, and all sorts of ridiculousness in between, I just had a raging hate boner for this movie, and if ever I marathoned these in the past, I always wanted to just skip over this one. I literally cannot think of any redeeming qualities for this movie whatsoever.

Fifth place we’ve got the sixth movie, Final Chapter. Now, this placement was hard to figure out, mostly due to my opinion of my fourth and third place choices. These three movies I have very similar thoughts toward which made it difficult to pin down my exact feelings toward ranking. Anyway, tonight was my first time EVER watching this movie. Which I was honestly stunned by. I feel it a bit unfair to place it in fifth since I’ve only gone through it once, but I really couldn’t find anything too, too interesting with this one unfortunately. It DEFINITELY was better than Extinction. So that’s a plus I guess.

Fourth place is the fourth movie, Afterlife. Now. Why is Afterlife in fourth? Despite my most recent re-watch of it being filled with, ‘seriously, WHY?!”? A few reasons. First, the soundtrack is an absolute BANGER, best one I’ve heard in these movies since Marilyn Manson’s work in the first one. Tomandandy did a stellar job, along with a nice cameo of A Perfect Circle (I’m very salty that the soundtrack for the movie doesn’t include my FAVORITE track though, so that’s a bit of a negative). Also we’ve got Wentworth Miller as Chris Redfield. I’m a major fan of some Wentworth Miller after being introduced to him via his role as Captain Cold. The appearance of the Executioner ‘Axeman’ was also a rather hype moment for me. Other than that though, I was. Not pleased. Again, we’ve got the Alice clones which makes things on the ‘meh’ side, the Wesker moments were SO FUCKING CHEESY I couldn’t handle it. And the quarter gun. THE QUARTER GUN. I used to love this movie when I was younger because of that gun, but now it just makes me so mad because IT MAKES. NO. SENSE. Anyway, moving on.

Third place is fifth movie, Retribution! Again, this is another really close one between Afterlife and Final Chapter. I had less ‘wtf, why?’ moments with this one than Afterlife. So. I guess that’s a point toward it? It mostly just had a bunch of nice cameos of nostalgic characters, and having recently been introduced to Leon Kennedy and Ada Wong, knowing more about their history, it was kinda cool to see them. Plus, return of Jeffery. It was so nice to see a Licker again. GOD I missed those things. Also a return of Tomandandy’s soundtrack work, I got kinda hype when I saw them in the opening credits, “Well, even if the movie is terrible, at least the soundtrack will be nice.” was basically my mindset at that point after we had just finished watching Afterlife.

Second place we’ve got the original, OG, first to come out Resident Evil. This one is just mostly fueled with mass nostalgia, to be honest? It obviously didn’t age all that well with the CGI, and Jeffery’s debut appearance was... oh, oh that CGI was SO bad I almost laughed. Rain is a badass, I vibed with her so much. And god. I felt terrible for Matt, seriously. Plus, the soundtrack is still one of my favorites to this day. Manson and Marco Beltrami did a STELLAR job with it.

And finally, Apocalypse. Now, this one, like I said, I was only able to watch the tail end of it during our marathoning. So my memories of it are a few years old. I WOULD re-watch it at work since I have access to it... but the last thing I want to be seen on camera is me watching some zombie tiddy. Because hooker zombies. THAT aside, from what I remember this one was my favorite of the franchise. It has a very close tie with the first one (again, mostly for nostalgia) but the winner for me was Nemesis. I am a simp for Nemesis. Apocalypse is the reason why I lost my proverbial shit when I found out about Nemesis being in Resident Evil 3 when the remake launched (my knowledge of this franchise is still extremely minimal, please don’t hate me for being an absolute tool). But yeah. Nemesis made this movie for me. Along with some more Jeffery appearances. Because I always need more Lickers in my life. They also seemed like they tried to match appearances with their Jill Valentine cameo in this one? Which I appreciate.

It’s honestly funny to hear people’s opinions on these movies. One of my previous co-workers all but disowned me for a few nights after learning I kinda enjoyed these movies, rating them as ‘trash’ and ‘an offense to the actual Resident Evil’. But on the other hand my sister LOVES these movies, sees Alice as ‘A total badass’, and thought my co-worker was lame for having such hate for them. Which is odd because she not only watched these movies, but she also watched a friend play the games. So she still liked them despite knowing the actual root inspiration for them;

Anyway, I’m not having the highest of hopes for Netflix’s original Resident Evil series they’re coming out with after my newfound thoughts and opinions on the live action movies. I was hype when I first heard about it, because maybe they could do right by the franchise. But... it seems like they’re following the line of original characters’ stories again. So I’m not holding my breath on that one.

#resident evil #resident evil live action movies #resident evil alice #live action re movies #ranking #Zipp0 ranks shit #zipp0 screams into the void #'Jeffery' is my name for Lickers #due to a really weird backstory #I made my dad laugh when I was all Oh Jeffery's back! toward the end #because it was just so stupid sounding #I have no answer for why I enjoy nemesis so much #dude's a badass I guess #and his extra weird backstory in the live action movies just made him a much more tragic character #which I also vibed with #I think that tragic bit is what made me like his character even more #tbh #literally no one asked for this #but I just really wanted to list these train wrecks #I've grown with my movie interests though #I used to think a movie had to be EXTREMELY EXTREMELY TERRIBLE for me to say #oh that's a bad movie #but i've learned now that that is no longer true #I can now watch something i used to enjoy and be like #wow #how was this a favorite of mine?#that's some growth

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sunset-wishes-upon-hill · 7 years

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Sang Woo, attachment style, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and Yoon Bum.

I have seen many readers suspecting Bum to have BPD, but I also believe Sang Woo may suffer from BPD. As someone else had done a very detailed overview of Sang Woo and BPD (Part 1, Part 2), I’ll be quite brief about my own stand (and support) on this.

(Warning: this mini essay of mine will undoubtedly be messy as I did not plan for smooth segue nor am I that organised to plan an essay before writing. This applies to my academic works as well; I’m more of a let’s-just-write-and-see-where-it-goes kind of person. Do not be like me. You will regret it by the time you’re half way through the essay and you have no idea what you’re talking).

Now while BPD is associated with self-harming behaviour and ‘clinging’ dependency, they may also funnel their aggression to external environment (i.e. externalised aggression (EA)). Individual with BPD exhibiting EA can (note it is in bold) perpetuate domestic violence, assault of those who are familiar to the individuals (e.g. friends, acquaintance) and aggressive criminal behaviour such as murder in the form of familicide and serial killing (this is very, very rare. Its rarity level is on par to unicorn) (Gross, 2007; Sansone et al., 2012).

Many men suffering from BPD are more likely to be misdiagnosed as anti-social personality disorder (ASPD) compared to women who are more correlated with BPD, although comorbidity (co-occurrence of more than one disorder) between BPD and ASPD can and do happen (For review, see Bateman et al., 2008).

It is interesting to note that many clinicians calls for BPD to be considered as not as a personality disorder, but as an attachment disorder (unfortunately for many neither DSM-V(1) or ICD-10(2) has not made this change). Many clinicians suggest the BPD’s core psychopathology arises within the domain of interpersonal relations (e.g. intolerance of aloneness) (See, Adler, 1993; Benjamin, 1986; Gunderson, 1984, 1996; Masterson, 1972)

Our attachment we form with our primary caregiver as a baby provides a basis to how we navigate our relationship with others as adults (Bowlby, 1969). Many empirical evidences suggests insecure and to some extent, avoidant and disorganised attachment are prevalent amongst individuals with BPD (e.g. Meyer et al., 2001).

I believe Sang Woo fits the criteria for insecure attachment. While we cannot actually turn Sang Woo into a baby and into a room with a two-way mirror, bring back his dead mother and have her go in and out of the room while observing a stranger’s and his mother’s interaction with baby Sang Woo as well as his own response and interaction with them (AKA Strange Situation experiment designed to measure attachment) (Ainsworth & Bell, 1970), we can see estimate from the glimpses we have seen of his past interaction with his mother and more importantly, his social skills as adults and particularly his relationship with Bum, we can ‘guess’ his attachment to his mother was most likely to be insecure.

For more information about the experiment ‘Strange situation’: Experiment video

Random trivia: Today, while this experiment certainly gave great deal of insight into potential how the bond humans develop, this is considered very unethical from modern point of view. One of experimenter’s ethical guides is bringing no physical or mental harm to the participant and in the video; babies are obviously in high distress.

Another example is ‘Little Albert’ who the experimenters wanted to find out about classical/operant conditioning so decided to traumatise an innocent baby named Albert (No, not Albert as in the Albert Wesker like in the Resident Evil haha, yeah sorry I’m bad at making jokes) and they made him develop phobia against furry objects as well as animal (e.g. dogs). Unfortunately for our Albert, he grew up to develop wide range of phobia including furry objects. His parent was paid only $1 for Albert’s participation and sadly, Albert (not his real name) passed away at the age of 6.

What is an insecure attachment?

Ainsworth (1979) put forward the ‘caregiver sensitivity hypothesis’ to explain for different attachment types. It suggest child’s attachment type depends on their primary caregiver (i.e. mothers usually) behaviour toward the child.

Insecure attachment is more likely to form if a mother is less ‘sensitive’, ‘emotionally available’ ‘inconsistent’ and ‘attentive’ to the child. This meant sometimes the child’s needs were met while sometimes they were ignored by the primary caregiver therefore the child come to believe communication of needs has no influence on their parent/guardian.

Children with insecure attachment showed conflicting behaviours mirroring their caregiver’s. The children are often feels distrustful or suspicious of their mother, but they also act desperate toward and cling to their mothers and highly distressed when the mother leaves them, even for a while but when the mother approaches them, they ignore or even, push them away.

These children then grow up to have a preoccupied attachment patterns that resembles the pathology of BPD which are the need for reassurance and approval, excessive dependency on their partner or someone they are close to, fear of rejection and are reject-sensitive etc.

Now we have seen that Sang Woo came from a very abusive household and seeing this manhwa is Korean, we can assume that his household was a very typical Korean household: patriarchal household (in Sang Woo’s case with angry father) and emphasis on the mother’s role as a provider of emotional wealth and rearing of the children. As a Korean, this picture is very familiar; of course, patriarchal household =/= Eastern-restricted custom.

We can clearly see his mother was very protective and very likely to be the primary caregiver of Sang Woo from her husband and his father’s wrath. Maternal instinct to protect their child is a very strong and compelling force; however the mother also knew that she has to be alive to be able to protect Sang Woo from his father.

It is most likely that the Sang Woo’s father threatened to abuse Sang Woo (more and in worse way than he already does) if his mother don’t do what he says. This could very likely mean that Sang Woo’s father wanted thing done in a way he likes, for example, wanting no signs of having a presence of a child living within the house. This puts huge pressure on the mother who knows if she doesn’t do what he says, his wrath would fall on her and then on Sang Woo who in the father’s eyes, ‘the root of all problems.’

To try and hide signs of children in the house is very difficult; Sang Woo, who probably wanted to play with toys freely out on the floor, want to cry, want to play, want to run around, just generally want to be a child and telling the child not to be a child is something children won’t understand because their mental capacity isn’t as developed as adults.

Because of this, sometimes mothers tend to resort restricting their children often in harsh way and quite interestingly, the child comes to feel more angry and resentful of non-abusing parent than toward the abuser themselves. So Sang Woo, as a child, would probably have been very confused as he did not know whether the next time he saw his mother looking at him, it’d be a loving hug or her being cold towards him.

There were hints Sang Woo might have murdered his mother so it could be that, Sang Woo felt betrayed and confused at his mother who were supposed to be his protector, the only one in the world who understood and loved him acting in a way he saw was no better than his father, who he probably remembers as being nothing but violent, unloving, neglectful to the point Sang Woo probably sees him as a stranger who also happened to live with him and his mother.

We don’t know what happened to Sang Woo’s mother, but if he did murder her it could have been that she was thinking of abandoning Sang Woo and her husband, unable to bear such living no longer and Sang Woo snaps, or her leaving him to his father for another man, or he killed her because as he grew up he came to see her as a weak mother who did not love her son as much as she perhaps did of her husband; who was so weak and selfish that she didn’t even leave Sang Woo’s father earlier or when she had the chance to take him away from the abuse if she really loved Sang Woo.

He probably thought that being in the street, starving and cold and with nowhere else to go was much more better than being under a roof that was no better than hell. Because he’d still have his mother who had proven she loved him and that’s all he wanted and needed.

BPD + ASPD = Perfect Match or Chaos?

Now this brings to the question since there are conflicts whether Bum suffers from BPD or Sang Woo suffers from ASPD and let’s say, for the sake of this argument, Bum suffers from BPD and Sang Woo has ASPD.

How would the two mental disorder clash and if they end up having a relationship, could they have mutual respect for one another and make the relationship work or would they eventually cannibalise each other with their deceitful nature?

I, for the life of me, cannot remember where, but I read somewhere that pathologies of BPD’s subconsciously need and seek those with ASPD and such setup may work (“Opposite attracts”).

Such relationship can become very pathological that resembles a strange, unhealthy cat and mouse game and this is a course typical in such relationship (think of Joker and Harley Quinn).

Pushing buttons to see how they respond; making use of their fear of abandonment against them; knowing they won’t actually leave and would just keep taking it. It’d be a continuous circle through idealisation and devaluation.

· One (ASPD) takes nothing personally (e.g. Borderline accusation/insults); the other (BPD) takes everything personally.

· Psychopathic detachment can diffuse Borderline reactive rage

· BPD extreme emotion can be sufficiently ‘loud’ to penetrate psychopathic flattened affect

· BPD idealises and feeds into the narcissism and need to be approved that ASPD has.

· The non-judgmental approach of a ASPD can counter black/white thinking of a Borderline, in the ‘quiet’ times when they’re receptive to logic.

· Because of ASPD’s ‘fearlessness’ attributes, they are not so bothered about the ‘walking on eggshells’ aspect of BPD.

· The ASPD love bombs BPD, flooding the BPD with affection and making them think as though they are special, ‘consoling’ BPD’s fear of abandonment desires.

· The BPD might be more oblivious to gas-lighting(3) and dowsing. Their fear of abandonment and senses off self-emptiness (which is a trait in ASPD also) and their unstable self-image can be ‘easy’ for ASPD to manipulate.

· BPD may appreciate the optimism and drive of ASPD.

· BPD and ASPD tend to be reckless and impulsive, but this can mean accepting of the others impulsiveness.

· Those BPD may also be more desensitised and have higher threshold for the abuses (abuses are not confined to physical, it can also mean emotional), as they typically do not internalize things as other individual (whether they have BPD or depression or have no known diagnosis) would internalise the same situation.

· But ASPD will abandon (eventually) and with the abandonment issue of BPD, it will not end well. But if they are stabilised by that point, they’ll usually breathe a sigh of relief as they chuck up the deuces.

BUT! This is not to say those with ASPD or BPD or other mental disorder will end up killing or doing some sort of horrendous crimes or acts! Certain portrayal of certain mental disorder does not mean everyone will follow that same path.

A researcher called Rosenhan conducted an experiment called ‘On being sane in insane places’. Long story short, he had mentally healthy patients (pseudopatients) going in for a psychiatric examination and told them to tell the doctors they were experiencing psychotic symptoms.

After they were admitted, Rosenhan had instructed them prior to the institutionalisation that they should start acting ‘normal’ and ‘sane’ and see how many doctors/staff noticed and realised they were actually not mentally ill. No doctors or staff noticed during their stays, ranging from 7 to 52 days although the other patients quickly noticed they were mentally healthy and wasn’t mentally ill.

The pseudopatients noticed how when they began to act ‘normal’, the staff and doctors labelled their behaviours and acts as some sort of psychotic symptoms. For example, a group of bored patients waiting outside the cafeteria for lunch early were said by a doctor to his students to be experiencing “oral-acquisitive” psychiatric symptoms.

Lesson from this study: don’t generalise what you see or heard of someone’s behaviour or actions with certain mental illness to other people who also have same disorder.

A/N: Planning on writing my ‘In the defense of Alois Trancy’ next - the character is horribly misunderstood and judged.

Terminology

(1) DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and offers a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders. The current updated edition is the 5th edition published in 2013 (DSM-V). Trivia: Majority of funding for DSM comes from pharmaceutical company. Hmmm…

(2) ICD: The International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems is a coding of diseases and signs, symptoms, abnormal findings, complaints, social circumstances and external causes of injury or diseases, as classified by the World Health Organization (WHO). Currently in its 10th revision. Trivia: The ICD is actually the official mental health system for the US, but even many professionals do not realise this due to the dominance of the DSM.

(3) Gas-lighting: manipulation of someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. This is similar to an operant conditioning (rewarding wanted behaviour, punishing unwanted behaviour) observed by B.F. Skinner. It induces the feeling of learned helplessness and erode their logicality by manipulating someone to think what they are experiencing is ‘not so bad’, causing gradual acceptance of abuse. Synonymous to ‘grooming’.

Reference:

Adler, G., (1988) Borderline Psychopathology and Its Treatment. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 145(2), 264.

Ainsworth, M. D. & Bell, S. M. (1970). Attachment, Exploration, and Separation: Illustrated by the Behavior of One-Year-Olds in a Strange Situation. Child Development, 41(1), 49-67.

Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Wittig, B. A. (1969). Attachment and exploratory behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation. In B. M. Foss(Ed. ), Determinants of infant behavior (Vol. 4,pp. 111-136). London: Methuen.

Bateman, A., Fonagy, P., Dimaggio, Giancarlo, & Norcross, John C. (2008). Comorbid antisocial and borderline personality disorders: Mentalization‐based treatment. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 64(2), 181-194.

Benjamin, L. (1996). Interpersonal diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders (2nd ed., Diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders. Y). New York ; London: Guilford Press.

Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books.

Graffagnino, P. (1973). THE TREATMENT OF THE BORDERLINE ADOLESCENT: A DEVELOPMENTAL APPROACH. Psychiatric Annals, 3(11), 98-100.

Gross, J., & Juni, Sam. (2007). Aggression in Hospitalized Criminal Offenders with Mental Illness and Personality Disorders: A Psychoanalytic Retrospective Longitudinal Study, ProQuest Dissertations and Theses.

Gunderson, J. (1996). The borderline patient’s intolerance of aloneness: Insecure attachments and therapist availability. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 153(6), 752-8.

Gunderson, J. (2011). Borderline Personality Disorder. The New England Journal of Medicine, 364(21), 2037-2042.

Meyer, B., Pilkonis, P., Proietti, J., Heape, C., & Egan, M. (2001). Attachment styles and personality disorders as predictors of symptom course. Journal of Personality Disorders, 15(5), 371-89.

Sansone, Lam, & Wiederman. (2011). The relationship between illegal behaviors and borderline personality symptoms among internal medicine outpatients. Comprehensive Psychiatry, Comprehensive Psychiatry.

#killing stalking #sang woo #yoonbum #yoon bum #killing stalking analysis #ks #killingstalking #koogi #koogi killing stalking #killing stalking psychology

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qualapec · 7 years

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Favorite characters meme

@myheartgoesswimming tagged me in this!

“Post 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms, in no particular order, and tag 10 people [if you want!] “

I’m a JERK who can’t help but rank my favorite characters,

Favorite male characters:

1. Jacob Frye Jacob had an absolutely unprecedented climb up my favorite characters list. He went from being this butch asshole in the trailers for AC:S to...I LOVE MY BI SON??? I don’t think I’ve purely identified with a character so much since Marian Hawke in DAII when I was a closeted 18 year old who didn’t think I’d ever come out. Like, I’m ultimately not too protective of my favorite dudes--I look at my list and I’m like, yeah, this is mostly garbage. Jacob is the one dude character who I have actually cried over people saying shit about him (I casually call Jacob garbage a lot, but not too long ago a good friend said “yeah, he fucks up everything. really everyone would be better off without him” and I cried harder than I thought I would).

I identify with Jacob because he’s a giant ADHD bisexual who messes up literally everything he does but still tries the best he can to be a good person and he’s someone who still legitimately cares about people who have hurt him deeply. At the same time, he’s not a queer character that wants to fully integrate with society either. He’s funny and loves his sister and she’s a better Assassin than he is. He’s a good person but his queerness isn’t clean--it’s rough and it hurts and it damages his relationships and it’s so real to me.

I’ve never felt happier about being bi and not totally good at things than the months after AC:S came out and Jacob was announced as canonically bisexual. Before that I’d been struggling a lot with the lesbians v. bi women thing, and Jacob just made me feel so good about myself and so hopeful. I love Jacob Frye.

2. Johannes Cabal I have never been more right about a character’s ultimate arc than I was with Cabal. He’s been on my list of faves for years, but the fifth book jettisoned him into second place among the guys. If he were canonically queer he and Jacob would probably be tied tbqh. I love this horrible man. I love his arc. Anyone who wants to write villains with a redemption should read these books. SPOILERS but I love how his arc isn’t about accepting things the way they are re: death. He never accepts the Bible, never goes to confession and gets his sins forgiven. He never gives up his desire for things to be changed and for the unfairness/injustice of death to be righted and his disbelief in religion as a savior. He never gives up his arrogance. He’s still really smart.

But by the end, he becomes a human who is worthy of having friends and is capable of doing the right thing and that means so much to me. I expected a giant Thing at the end where he did something truly villainous to show that he was Always That Way and Always Would Be, but it never happened. He slowly defeated evil within himself without even knowing it, and that matters to me.

END SPOILERS. The second trash wizard I ever fell in love with.

3. Loki (MCU). Oh, Loki. My queer rage analogue.

Some context: I saw Thor (2011) when my family was falling apart. I was mad, so mad. That scene when Loki confronts Odin was so profound to me--I read it as a coming out scene, and I know a lot of other queer folks did, too.

I’ve known I was bi since Dragon Age II, as dumb as that sounds. When I wanted nothing more than to romance both a dude and a lady. BUT I had planned to bury it. It was easier to just date men, so why not? When Loki was revealed as Canonically Bisexual, that was really when the word clicked for me. That was the moment I think I knew that word was truly inescapable for me.

Whoo boy. That scene in the Avengers when he shows up after creating a portal with the Tesseract and intends to tear the world apart...that’s the moment I realized how queer and angry I was. I was closeted and wanted to burn it ALL down. He would either win or be destroyed, and the fantasy of burning as I was was so satisfying to me--either way he was going to die as himself. I was sitting in the theatre and that was when I knew I had no choice but to come out. I was afraid. Anger was an easier feeling to have.

Loki. My reminder that I’ll take a queer villain over a Perfect Queer (TM) every day of the week and also for the rest of my life--I will never, ever care about a Perfect Queer, because that’s not what I am, that’s not the family I come from, that’s not the reality of my health or what I aspire to be. That rage gave me the courage to come out, and tbqh it gives me strength now.

4. Harry Dresden Harry is Trash Wizard Prime. I discovered him during a time when men were an absolute mystery to me--I didn’t grow up with many (any) good male role models. As a bi teenager, I started to notice men because that’s the thing girls attracted to men were socially supposed to do, and I realized I didn’t understand them.

I saw the cover for Dead Beat in a Barnes & Noble and I picked it up. He looked so dashing, so rogueish. And this chaotic good motherfucker is that. He cares about people and wants to do the best he can with his gift, even if he is imperfect, and that spoke to me as a teenager so much.

He was a male character who I felt safe with. Society hated him for his gift, and sometimes did its best to destroy him even while he was trying to be good (which, in retrospect, is one reason why I associate mages/wizards/witches with queerness). I felt like he was a man who would protect me as a girl who, at that time, thought of myself as het but who was very afraid of men (L O L. LOL. L O L. Biggest joke ever) and who had experienced trauma at male hands.

I felt deeply betrayed when, after Changes, he had intrusive thoughts about raping the women around him.

I don’t quite have words for how much that hurt. Cabal was never misogynist in quite that way, and Loki is a virulent misogynist, but in a way that strikes me as very real for some queer men (not okay, but A Thing That Actually Happens). And as someone with OCD who experiences damaging intrusive thoughts myself, I feel like should have understood.

I felt really betrayed when Harry’s character took that direction. It caught me by surprise. It was actually triggering for me--the message I got was “every man will hurt you” and I’ve spent years trying to unlearn that. I remember shaking after a certain chapter of the book after Changes. I remember thinking that Men Will Always Hurt Me if Harry would.

Recent books revealed it was the result of a demon in his head...but it still hurt a lot. I discovered those books when I needed a man to look up to, and I still feel like that trust was betrayed.

I wouldn’t really recommend The Dresden Files to any of my friends now--I still want them to read them to understand a very formative text for me. I love Harry Dresden. He is part of what made me, of what defined my morality. I love him. I want him to be part of a better story.

Also I will be 100% honest and say that his super cis straight dude descriptions of wanting to sleep with women really spoke to me as a young queer chick. I was really into “vagazzled” btw.

5. Cullen Rutherford WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE OUTLIER.

Cullen has that Captain America vibe I usually can’t stand. He’s super lawful good and even upholds laws that he shouldn’t.

He’s also a drug addict who was deeply traumatized and needs his girlfriend to function (an ongoing theme with me). Even his very oppressive anger makes sense to me. It sucks, but I get it. That’s valid.

Also, I really hate it when people say his character arc made no sense. I’m sorry, those people flat out don’t understand narrative or think characters can escape their original packaging. Spoiler; that’s not an ‘arc’. Characters change, deal with it.

I think one thing I love about Cullen is that he was really, really tailored for women who are interested in men (note: not just Straight Women).

I think one of the biggest things for me is that he’ll do anything for the Inquisitor (his girlfriend). He was SUPPOSED to be bi via leaks from the company that made the game (if that was canon he’d be much higher on this list). But it does ultimately matter a lot to me that he was so specifically tailored to be a fantasy for women who are interested in men. He loves her. He will do almost anything for her. She helps him get over a serious addiction. Cullen taught (my bi/poly ass) about m/f narratives that I needed.

I guess I have a Thing for men who really need the women in their lives. Cullen gets the girlfriend role, and all the trauma that only men are usually allowed to have.

Honorable mentions:

Victor and Yuuri from Yuri on Ice. (If they had more canonical trauma, they would have lettered, and they may in the future. I love that Literally Wearing a Bi Flag Victor is a garbage human being who doesn’t understand feelings but still loves is boyfriend and doesn’t want that relationship to end. I love how Yuuri is an anxious gay baby.) Albert Wesker, a truly fine villain who was not done justice by those movies. Ned Wynert, who taught me a lot about writing characters from marginalized groups I am not a part of.

Favorite lady characters: 1. Marian Hawke. I almost don’t have words for how deeply formative Hawke is to me. She changed my life. I know she can be a different person no matter who plays her, but I think the things I fundamentally love about her are somehow universal.

For context on Marian Hawke--I was 18 and deeply closeted when I played DAII for the first time. I had committed to “never coming out” because I thought it would make my mom sad. I remember sitting in the uni library and thinking about Hawke and how bi aka queer (ADDITIONALLY poly) I was and I regret how that was the moment I decided I would only date men because it would be easier. That didn’t last. I didn’t know how much that would tear me up inside.

Hawke was the first gateway to my sexuality, but I thought I could avoid her message. I knew I wanted to date both men and women.

Hawke herself is...me. Granted, you can control some of her actions as the player, but she still fucks up in a lot of the same ways no matter which version of her you play. She still tries to do the best she can (sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes not a lot, sometimes it’s oppressive). She cares. I can’t remember if she or Cabal came into the Trash Wizard (or trash mage) #2 slot, but she’s right up there on my fave trash magician list.

Because she’s so deeply formative, she’s another character I can’t be rational about. I HATE with every fiber of my being that she’s not static/unchangeable. I partly hate dude!Hawke so much because there are no female characters like my take on Marian that even EXIST. Soft butch, bi, diplomatic, kinda funny, kinda mad.

She tries her best, just like I think I do. She fails a lot, even when she means well. My Marian is bi as fuck. She changed my life. I don’t know who I would be without her (I mean, probably still bi as fuck, but still). I love Marian Hawke.

2. Evie Frye. I’ll just say it: Evie Frye fixed my ability to write female characters.

I was feeling a lot of pressure from other female writers (sadly, even particularly other queer women) to write WOMEN’S NARRATIVES. I felt like those had to be about rape and weakness and strength in spite of that. THAT IS A NARRATIVE THAT MATTERS, however I either struggle to identify with it, or I over-identify with it and I’m afraid to walk to my car.

Evie isn’t that.

She’s perhaps the greatest Assassin in history, short of Altair or Ezio, who made the brotherhood what it is. She lives and breathes that tradition. She’s most powerful when she is unseen, and in that way, I always feel safe with her. She’s the rightful heir to the entire series, so I feel like she will always be safe.

I learned so much about how to write myself and what I wanted and what I think a lot of other women want even if it’s not part of The Discourse, through Evie Frye. She defies stereotypes about what it means to be “woman”. She’s treated no worse than Jacob by the narrative, and she’s arguably treated as the inheritor of the Assassin tradition and like her skills matter just a bit more. The narrative could do without Jacob (as much as I love him) but it couldn’t do without Evie. She’s just as powerful as he is.

That we get to see her as both a new adult and a middle aged women is extra important. The fact that she spends her later narrative hunting one of the most virulent men in history (Jack the Ripper) means a lot to me. She is most powerful in her prime, while Jacob burns out later on, and that ALSO matters a lot to me. Shitty men are afraid of her, not the other way around. There’s no narrative where she lets the think they could rape her to win; she just wins. (Again, nothing wrong with female characters who use their femininity that way, but Evie just kills those fuckers, and that’s what I need in my life of believing in self defense).

I love her. She loves her husband, she loves her brother. She’s prim and proper and perfectly tailors her outfits and knows how to strike a killing blow. Evie is about a different kind of resistance than Jacob, but she’s still about resistance. She’s the first female character I’ve seen, in literal years, who is allowed to exist beyond her own femininity. She’s just allowed to exist and be really cool. Evie also means a lot to me.

3. Leonie Barrow This song really sums up Leonie Barrow for me. /They see you as small and helpless, they see you as just a child/ Surprise when they find out that a warrior will soon run wild/. She starts out as so?? Small?? compared to the overall narrative of the Cabal books, which are steeped in angels and gods and Lovecraftian abominations from whom the very foundations of the universe were forged. She’s the Innocent Girl at first. Her femininity, her innocence, does matter, but it’s not what I thought it would be. And by the end, she’s a shotgun wielding master detective, who Cabal CANONICALLY trusts to make the same logical decisions he would.

She is willing to kill to defend her friends even if she doesn’t like it. She will stand against the darkness and be afraid but she will smile.

She’s also almost /definitely/ canonically bi at the end of the fifth book, short of the actual word being used. It’s not a plot spoiler, but it gives me life either way. She’s not the girlfriend, she’s not the Woman, she’s something else and she matters in her own way. Her potential is limitless, and I’m inspired by her every single day. People talk about Stever Rogers as their human ideal, but I guess Leonie Barrow is my comfortable alternative.

Leonie Barrow saves people by her empathy--and she’s also willing to wield a shotgun. Outside of a magical girl narrative, she and Elizabeth DeWitt are the purest versions of the ‘weaponized femininity’ narrative I can think of.

4. Elizabeth DeWitt Oh, Elizabeth. I love her. I love her fucked up history. I love her fucked up present and her implied fucked up future. I wish she had a better ending. If I ever write fic, it will be to correct what has been done to her by canon.

Elizabeth is trying to escape her fate. Her ultimate arc may be about accepting a shitty end, but I don’t think that has to be the case, since I think so much of her story is about denying her future. Like her, I will always hope and strive for something better. She’s femme and hard and powerful and will break the world and make it whole again all with one wishing <3 .

She has the power of a god and the writers/developers/designers didn’t know how to handle that in an interesting way. I love her.

5. Talia (from Arrows of the Queen) SO

When you are reading about a clinically depressed character and you think, “I IDENTIFY WITH HER SO MUCH” that’s probably a sign. So many times, Talia tried to tell me how I was feeling, and it took me a very long time to listen.

I was easily clinically depressed when I read the Arrows of the Queen books. My uncle had just died without me coming out to him. I felt like a disappointment to my mom. My bachelors degree was on fire and it wasn’t totally my fault. There was nothing about myself that I didn’t deeply despise when I read these books, nothing that I didn’t feel the world would be better without. I didn’t want to die, since I have a very particular attachment to my mortality and no matter what, I’m attached to my life for my mom, but I felt so fundamentally worthless that it still hurts to think about. I haven’t been that low since then, and I hope to never be that low again.

I was depressed and I didn’t know it. I don’t think I was truly suicidal even then, even if I was experiencing almost daily suicidal ideation. I don’t think I would have died, but I still think Talia saved my life a little bit--she at least taught me that it’s okay to acknowledge my illness and seek treatment and that it’s okay to want to be happy. I’m so deeply grateful for that I don’t even have words for it, partly because, while I think I would have survived, I wouldn’t be happy.

Talia also got to fuck the most desirable male characters in the Arrows of the Queen trilogy. Even though she was quiet and was shy and was depressed. The message was this: I could have love even if I was mentally ill. I specify ‘male’ characters because Talia was straight, and also because a part of me feels less desirable to men than women, so that fantasy means a lot to me.

Talia is me at my most vulnerable. Talia is me when I want to reach into my own chest and tear myself apart. I love her. She matters. <3

Honorable mentions:

Pearl from Steven Universe (my favorite anxious lesbian, who got a great character arc that I never expected to be validating to both the lesbian-bi women dilemma and to her mental illness. I <3 Pearl). All the women in Overwatch. Sailor Moon and her soldiers. Tamora Pierce’s heroines. Lara Croft.

Tagging @swimthroughthefires @fakeandroid @doomquasar @amandaironic @strawberrylaugh @ghostofthemotif

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