#hyperindependence

[firefly-fez]

Stop calling me ‘strong’ I am begging you

Hyperindependence is a trauma response, okay? One you might reasonably develop if you have been forced to survive without any meaningful external support. If you witness that and your response is to praise them for doing it, calling their desperate survival ‘strong’ or ‘independent’ or ‘inspiring’, in any context where it is very much implied that they don’t need help and you won’t provide it, it is not a compliment.

If you call someone who has been forced into a state of hyperindepence ‘strong’, in any way inplying that they don’t need help and you won’t provide it, it’s not a compliment, it’s gaslighting.

I am beggin y’all to recognise that hyperindependence is not a good thing

#mental health #strong women trope #hyperindependence #stigma #gaslighting

[reallifeperfect]

Being a people pleaser or hyperindependent has probably helped you in a lot of ways. People pleasers are fantastic at last minute changes and adjusting a plan when unexpected issues come up. People with #hyperindependence kill it at multitasking and are overall productivity superheroes. Healing those pieces doesn’t get rid of the skills, but gives you power over when and how to use them & have boundaries or get help. DM me to find out how to heal your trauma. https://www.instagram.com/p/CmwatMGu2QT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#hyperindependence

[vcb]

buenos dias

#gotta finish an assigment today omg :( #also need to find an apartment and moveeverything there within the next 5 days #i usually am very hyperindependent but hey i would really use some help this time >n< #first things first #: #coffee

[sagscrib]

my light in the dark

#sag's sketches #baldur's gate 3 #baldur’s gate iii #bg3 #bgiii #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #wyll bg3 #bg3 tav #tav bg3 #fanart #clip studio paint #helplessness blues by fleet foxes... wyll son g #his hyperindependence swag. his selfless nature

[yugiohz]

do you mind explaining why you find dabihawks so compelling? (I also find them compelling— I just like hearing other people’s takes! And I think you have a really great grasp on the characters!!)

wishing you the best!!!

IM SHY but as i keep saying, i find their dynamic so fascinating i think my #keeping up with the todorokis tag has some fun takes on them lol

#the fact that their parents are such an integral part of hteir mess... cinema #like i keep saying i cant ignore endeavor that man is haunting my yaoi narrative it is so crazy #much to unpack with dabihawks like does hawks even feel shameeee when dabi is like you are so weird about my dad kys #asks #anxious avoidant dabi vs anxious attachment hawks FIGHT #they are void avoidant tbh like hawks is also hyperindependent but he does cling to the todorokis hes an enigma #oh yeah the fact that hawks inserts himself into dabi's family.. and calls him toya... hes ssooooooopasndklsdn

[peachyteabuck]

what if I moved into the woods and didn't talk to anyone for 30 years. what then.

#hyperindependent pipe dream go brrrr

[idonthaveacontract]

(per the Mad Men convos you've been having) I've thought before that especially on Tumblr, the "everyone would read tarot cards and no one would run the factories in a collectivist society" website, the idea of deriving a lot of identity and worth from your job and being good at it is knee jerk rejected. When in reality some people do try to be fulfilled by the thing they spend most of their time doing lol

I've never really thought of that before, that's interesting! I will say I have unreservedly loved Mad Men since high school but after being a real adult for a while (I'm 29) so many of the themes and relationships just hurt different on more recent rewatches especially the mentorship between Don and Peggy and also Peggy's loneliness at the end of the series. I can definitely see how not having familiarity with an office environment or a purpose driven career would make it uninteresting to a lot of people

#talk about this often on my personal but my boss who was very personally invested in me actually died suddenly in 2020 #and it kind of ruined my life #while I was also living alone during the pandemic in a very Peggy hyperindependent suffering but no one cares way #so like. there is no subtlety anymore about what I'm seeing portrayed

[arobinwithoutbatman]

((So I'm cramping something awful this morning and can't tell what my hunger signals are doing so fiance made me breakfast and a cup of tea

They even tried to cut the banana into hearts!!!!))

#ooc #their love language is acts of service and im hyperindependent #yes it absolutely clashes sometimes #so im letting them go wild with doting on me today

[frog-wash]

saw that poll about whether u would want to live alone or with someone else (if all material and financial needs were covered) and my knee jerk reaction was to be alone, but then I remembered in high school that I wanted nothing more than to live with my friends at the time in a big house. and that made me kinda sad

#1. because my friends in high school were awful and contributed heavily to my cptsd #same as my mother so i had zero safe spaces including online where i was being groomed by cis male friends there #2. because its such a stark contrast that my developed emotional hyperindependence is impossible to ignore

[everony]

I hate being complimented for my independence or initiative because I'd rather do things myself than ask for help.

Like, wtf do I say? How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?

"Thanks, it's a trauma response" ????????

#autistic #adhd #i dont understand how neurotypicals can see someone whos clearly struggling to get everything done but not asking for help #and just go 'wow i wish my kids were like that' #like no??????? you dont?????? #its called hyperindependence babe #it comes from growing up with an undiagnosed mental disorder and learning disability #and it means that its physically hard for me to ask for help #not because i dont want to ask for help for macho bro reasons #but because i was considioned early that even when i ask for help im not gonna get any #because clearly im just not trying hard enough #add on social anxiety and you have another mess entirely #so now im an adult who just doesnt ask for help even when im struggling because for most of my life i was told that i dont need help #i just need to put more effort into whatever im doing #this still happens too #3/4 of the time when i ask for help im ignored #either because people are aware that i *can* do it despite me asking because i dont have *the time to do it* #or because everyone else understood and did it without help so clearly im just not trying #i nearly lost it at one of my uni professors when they told me to 'just try again' when the first thing i told them #was that id spent the last 8 hours trying and struggling because im not understanding what im doing wrong

[dumbest-bb]

Any chance you might need some help decorating?

Honestly I kind of love doing it myself and dancing around to loud music but thank you 🥰

#its the hyperindependence bc trauma for me #i hate asking ppl for help #tysm tho #asks

[ourlordandseivior]

Love when my mom gets fucking attitudey with me for tending to my own needs when she and literally everyone else has tasked me with handling their emotions above my own

#i know it’s an eldest child thing #i know it’s because i grew up being the third parent #being the good one #the responsible one #the one no one had to worry about #i know that shit made me hyperindependent and an anxiety-riddled caretaker ass bitch as a result #i know that’s why for the last fucking month especially i’ve had to bear the weight and management of everyone else’s emotions #bend over backwards to be what everyone needs me to be #all i want is half an hour alone in the kitchen so i can figure out something to feed this godforsaken meatsuit #which i’ve been cursed with inhabiting and doing daily upkeep for #i don’t need to be yelled at to ‘stay and be social’ when someone comes in and starts making it impossible for me to think #by having loud ass phone convos or starting to empty the dishwasher and make me dance around the kitchen lest i be in HER way #and then guilt tripped with this ‘you always run away’ bullshit #as if i haven’t been processing everyone else’s emotions for them #as if i haven’t been under the constant weight of being the only person acting like a grownup in this household for like a month #idk i shouldn’t have to be parenting my own parent and then yelled at for fucking nothing #but that’s just my humble opinion

[reallifeperfect]

If you know someone with #hyperindependence and they ask you for help (doesn’t matter how small the ask) know that they struggled & agonized over asking you. They’re used to being let down. Don’t say yes unless you’re 100% sure you’ll follow through. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cko0kRspF5h/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#hyperindependence

[notinsufferable]

:( :/

#i dont have any me and whos left in me anymore #me and me #i will learn to love myself #hyperindependance or whatever lmao #but i want someone to tolerate me #:///

[clawsnoir]

Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts I became a bat. A monster in the night. And in doing so, have I become the very thing that all monsters become...Alone...?

vs.

I'm only dreaming. All this will vanish once I wake up. Then I'll be back where I started...homeless. In pain, and like every stray cat...alone.

bruce wayne & selina kyle on loneliness.

from hush and heart of hush.

#batcat #a parallel i think about often #anyways...daily reminder that selina's hyperindependence is a sign of trauma #and what she wants more than anything is stability and security with the people she loves

[peachyteabuck]

every time my hyperindependence is triggered I feel like I'm the owner of a recently adopted previously abused dog attempting to get it from resource guarding, but also it's 3am and I want to sleep. that kind of "negotiating with a terrorist" energy. What do you want? Treats? Toys? Pets? Weed? For all men to leave the premises??? Tell me what you want and I'll give to you please god just stop growling

#hyperindependence girlies how we feeling (we're feeling bad) #lukis says things