#house md headcanon

[lanawinterscigarettes]

do you guys think house would read hilson fanfiction and then critique the authors on it. because I do

#he barges into wilson's office to tell him about it when he's with a patient #and wilson threatens to change his password on ao3 and log him out if he doesn't stop lmao #house MD #hatecrimes md #greg house #james wilson #house x wilson #hilson #house md headcanon #mosses random thoughts

[realbeefman]

allison “did you ever love me?” “i don’t know!” cameron i diagnose you with being more in love with the idea of being married than with your actual husband

#i do love her… aro cameron is sooo important to me #allison cameron #house md #house md hc #house md headcanon

[hilsonmybeloved]

imagine house stimming (because he's autistic,) and getting upset over it because he thinks its weird and wilson tells him to calm down and to let himself stim

#house #hilson #house md #james wilson #greg house #gregory house #greg house x james wilson #house x wilson #headcanon #house md headcanon #autism #autistic house #autistic gregory house #neuodivergent #stim #stimming #ship ideas #writing ideas #fanfic ideas #hilson idea #hc #house md hc #i add way too many tags #jimmy wilson

[mcleansync]

if you hate cuddy dni because i hate you. anyways here are some cute hc things i made for my own viewing pleasure 🫶

#house md #gregory house #lisa cuddy #james wilson #amber volakis #huddy #hilson #amber x wilson #wilson x amber #wilson x house #house x wilson #cuddy x house #house x cuddy #house md headcanon #house md hc

[yn-addams]

House MD in 2024

so I’ve been seeing everyone doing this and I needed to share some headcanons of my own. This is mainly going to be about the original ducklings because I haven’t gotten to where the others come in yet.

House definitely had an Emo phase and in some ways he’s still in it. He still flinches slightly when he hears a g note played on the piano by itself.

Similar to the episode when a actor from one of his soap shows was admitted a member of an Emo band(one of your choice) ends up at PPTH and he fanboys practically that entire episode and tries to hide it form the ducklings. he doesn’t.

house is bisexual, demiromantic

Cameron is pansexual

Hilson is canon but it’s not that big of a deal. They’re together and they love each other but it’s not always the center of the show.

house, Cuddy and Wilson have 100% had a drunken threesome, it was never really spoken about again except by house for teasing and blackmail purposes against Cuddy and sometimes Wilson.

Chase and house have fucked

house has a tumblr and regularly uses it an posts, I’m not sure what content though, it would probably be just shitposts and chaos

house was also a bit of a theatre kid

house speaks in only gen z slang for an episode and constantly quotes vines, the ducklings have to figure out wtf he’s talking about and chaos ensues.

house randomly goes to a bdsm club one day and sees chase there, they both never talk about it

the team has definitely had a foursome

Cuddy makes the team go on bonding trips (the real purpose is to get house out of her hair).

House and Cuddy used to be in a relationship but decided they’re better as friends. sometimes Wilson will just barge into cuddy’s office just to complain about house, it doesn’t have to be about some outrageously dangerous medical procedure, it could be about him leaving the dam toilet seat up.

I think that’s all but I’ll update this post as I get more.

#house md #hate crimes md #hilson #house x wilson #robert chase #house x chase #chouse #malpractice md #house md headcanon #headcanon

[tumblasha]

house being extremely pro-mask and pro-respirator

yes bc he’s a doctor

but absolutely bc he loves avoiding all the patients he passes by in the hallway

#house md rewatch 2024 #YIPPEE #i love this show #house md headcanon #greg house #greg house headcanon #q

[michaelealys]

house would so pull the "salt and pepper diner" thing and no one can prove me otherwise

#travis speak #house md #house #gregory house #if u dont know what im talking about i need u to go watch john mulaneys salt and pepper diner skit rn #house md headcanon #hate crimes md #yea

[counterfeit-stars]

Hilson headcanon: Wilson loves rom-coms. Because of course he does.

And House secretly does too, but not even Wilson knows that bcos House will complain when Wilson puts them on, but he’ll secretly gladly curl up with him on the couch and watch with him

#counterfeit-stars #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #house md headcanon

[housethemd]

Do you ever stop and think about all the ridiculous and kinda hilarious things that sound like headcanons but are actually are canon in House MD? Like,

• Wilson is canonically fantastic in bed

• House was canonically a cheerleader in college

• Wilson canonically gets whiskey dick

• House canonically attends a festival every year where he makes a spud gun

Just to name a few. Feel free to reblog and add because House MD truly has one of the most entertaining canons.

#house md #james wilson #hate crimes md #greg house #dr house #dr wilson #hilson #wilson x house #house/wilson #house md headcanons

[tendergore]

the house md fandom does not take nearly enough advantage of honest-to-god canon:

chase's god given praise kink

daddy issues

and seeing house as a father figure

is so extremely obedient

???? he looks like that

house cannot stop calling him fuckable using other words

8.

9. that one thing with that dominatrix that one time.

anyways ao3 is lacking

#house md #robert chase #vague headcanons

[thechy-fychannel]

I saw a few other blogs doing this so I thought I'd share my input on what I think would happen in the House MD universe in 2024:

the constant jokes abt house and wilson's relationship turns into the fellows jokingly writing fanfic abt their boss and his boy best friend. somewhere along the way they all get very serious abt the quality of it and it turns into a Whole Thing, a 150k+ novel that they vow to take to their graves.

house discovers the fic by accident and sends it to wilson. wilson discovers things abt himself and then he and house discover each other shortly thereafter.

house purposefully posts the fic online and credits the fellows by their entire full names so it embarrasses them more than house and wilson. It's never spoken abt again but it gets way more online attention than any of them expected.

wilson doesn't get how the Cloud works and accidentally uploads his and house's nudes to the google nest hub on his desk. He doesn't notice it until one of his sweet little old lady cancer patients points it out to him during their appointment. He throws the google nest hub into his trash can until he can figure out how to get the naked pictures off of it.

house has an alexa and abuses the hell out of it. sometimes ppl hear him screaming at someone in his office, only to walk in and find a robotic voice replying with "sorry, I didn't get that" and house throws it off the balcony.

wilson gets addicted to online shopping. house has to stage an intervention bc they do not have enough room in their closet for another pair of prada loafers and their kitchen is full of shitty gadgets that wilson bought off temu or something.

some right wing social media influencer comes in with a mysterious illness and ends up getting castrated as part of the solution. 13 personally does the procedure herself and house watches like a proud dad.

a patient reveals chase's grindr by shoving his phone at him and asking "is this you?" abt the headless profile with the ripped abs that says Dr. Feel Good, 0 feet away, in front of the rest of the team.

foreman finds the team doing tiktok dances bc house told them to learn it in order to understand their 15 yr old patient better.

chase medically murders mitch mcconnel and the entire hospital celebrates ding dong the witch is dead style.

there's a whole episode where house faces his transphobia bc of a trans patient that he connects with. the patient tells him to fuck off and go face his own problems instead of pretending to make it right by being nice to one trans person. And house does, even if he's not perfect, he really tries to do better.

13 gets her medical marijuana card and accidentally becomes the team's plug. her main customer is wilson who still supplies it to certain terminal patients. She hears "hey, can I hit your pen?" at least four times a day.

foreman buys a tesla and it blows up in the parking lot. they spend the entire episode trying to figure out who tried to kill foreman, but it turns out that teslas just do that sometimes.

there's an episode where house finds out that netflix is removing his favorite obscure tv show that ran for 2 seasons in 2002 and wilson recruits the team to hunt down a dvd copy of it without house finding out. they somehow manage to find one and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, only to open the dvd case and find a copy of the porno wilson starred in that one time instead of the dvd of the show. park saves the day at the last minute by finding a copy of it in a box of dvds in her parents house.

#might fuck around and add more later if i can think of some more #chyanne speaks #house md #hate crimes md #medical malpractice md #hilson #dr. gregory house #dr. james wilson #remy thirteen hadley #eric forman #chris taub #chi park #robert chase #house md headcanons

[realbeefman]

my new headcanon for why chase is Like That about house is that back when chase was first hired, before cameron and foreman joined the team, house decided to pavlov his fellows. and for every correct diagnosis a fellow received a tasty little treat. and chase was INTENSELY susceptible to this and house stopped doing it eventually because it became very boring. but chase still subconsciously hopes that one day house will give him a tasty little treat if he just comes up with a diagnosis brilliant enough to earn house’s approval

#chase dogboy agenda #i dont know how operant conditioning works my psych professor was really hot and i was very distracted in her class #she made us read out our personality test results in front of the class and said that i should seek psychiatric help bc i had #‘a warped perception of myself’ and ngl ive jerked off while thinking about that moment like a LOT #house md #chouse #robert chase #house md headcanon #house md hc

[babygirlhouse]

house md 2024 headcanons 🫡

hi loves!! jumping on this trend :^) i don't think any of these make sense but they made me laugh soooo here u go

House has a very bad pain day and (when pushed) says that he strained the muscle while riding his bike. Obviously nobody believes him, so the ducklings + Wilson spend the day trying to figure out what he did and end up finding security footage of him attempting to hit the griddy in the morgue 

Kutner has a very generic inspirational quotes tumblr blog (he’s so proud of it) and House finds it and just starts dropping quotes from it in DDXs to mess with him & then acting all innocent 

Thirteen has a secret thirst trap tiktok acc that doesn’t explicitly show her face but has her lab coat & maybe stethoscope. When Chase suggests that it’s her she doesn’t confirm or deny it and just keeps winking. Cameron definitely follows the account after this. Thirteen pretends not to realise.

Wilson takes a uquiz to find out what sort of cheese he is and is devastated when it says he’s cheddar. He then has an identity crisis because he thinks he’s too bland and tries to reinvent his aesthetic, leading to one infected eyebrow piercing and a tramp stamp that’s never mentioned again. Potential there for a sappy scene where House tells him he's anything but bland.

Cuddy starts a momblog style podcast. House sends anonymous hate. Taub guest stars. 

I think Taub would get deeply into ASMR. Like it’d start with him finding and playing a video of ASMR triggers for his daughters, then he tries it himself to see if that calms them down even more, etc etc. He starts a youtube channel and it blows up. He gets recognised by patients at the hospital. It goes to his head just a little. He unironically uses the term 'ASMRtist'

A cosplayer has a mysterious illness and the team has to go to a convention to test for environmental factors. Chase is apprehensive but House forces him to go. He’s quickly recognised at the convention and it turns out that he has a cosplay instagram account and they get stopped every 10 mins to take pictures. No one lets him live it down 

Thirteen and Cameron kiss & fall in love & babysit Taub's kids. House makes relentless jokes but is quietly very fond of them and their relationship. Pls i need this

Foreman has a twitter/X account where he posts a combination of work out tips/inspirational quotes (not as sweet as Kutner's blog, more grindset vibes yknow) but he gets mixed up in a pyramid scheme for protein powders and gets cancelled. Also potential for a sappy scene here where Foreman says he admires Kutner for not letting House's teasing about his blog get to him. They're besties now and make each other better.

Cuddy forces all of them to go on a wellness retreat. House and Wilson make a bet to see who can go the longest without speaking. It's not even a silent retreat, they're just like that. Also someone convinces Chase that the utility shed on the retreat is haunted.

The wellness retreat no speaking bet also def has potential for gay chicken. Like Wilson kisses House to see if that will get him to lose the bet. By the next morning neither of them know or care who lost the bet, they leave their room looking Extremely disheveled and return to the hospital very much together. Cuddy is not at all surprised. She planned this. Each of the ducklings hand her $100.

PPTH minecraft server. yeah

#im so tired #i have an assessment due in 6 days #time to speed read all of inferno #house md #gregory house #headcanon #hatecrimes md #house md headcanons #hilson #mouse bites #james wilson

[blue-boulder]

house md in 2020s headcanons

keep seeing people make these and i thought it was silly, so here’s my contributions:

- house finds wilson’s account on grindr and decides to catfish him. once the jig is up they silently decide to never acknowledge this again

- comphet cameron. nonnegotiable

- foreman has and posts somewhat frequently on instagram threads. nobody finds out because nobody else has threads

- before working at princeton-plainsboro taub specialized in BBLs

- house livestreams DDXs to put more pressure on the ducklings when he feels as though they’re underperforming. he has a decent amount of followers on twitch

- also i’m not sure how hospitals ran during the pandemic but i think at least one DDX during covid was conducted through among us. don’t ask me the logistics of that

- a few of chase’s old musical.ly videos resurface and he gets bullied for it relentlessly

- thirteen was one of the first people to reblog the weed smoking girlfriends post

- house and wilson watch love is blind, the ultimatum, love island, etc etc when skipping clinic duty & place bets on which couples are going to last and which aren’t

- despite dating at the time cuddy went to see oppenheimer and lucas went to see the barbie movie. at the same time in different theatres

- house makes a joke about someone having blue hair and pronouns. also that one post about how he spends two hours researching every pronoun in existence just to use the wrong one on someone would be real

- wilson listens to either broadway soundtracks on his way to work or hozier, no in between. he uses spotify but refuses to look at his wrapped out of fear

#house md #house md headcanons #gregory house #james wilson #allison cameron #eric foreman #robert chase #chris taub #remy thirteen hadley #lisa cuddy #this is such a silly trend i had a blast coming up with these #hatecrimes md

[yn-addams]

More house md in 2024

Cameron, Chase and Foreman had a threesome, and it wasn't drunk. They regularly get together and have movies nights and etc they’re in love

Chase has a crush on house and foreman and Cameron constantly tease him about it. I think that house likes him too and Wilson teases him but house is emotionally constipated so he denies it.

eventually while Wilson is finalizing one of his many divorces and living in a hotel, Chase comes over to house’s apartment and they drunkenly bond over trauma and daddy issues (probably around the episode where chases father comes) and then they kiss.

house freaks the fuck out and avoids Chase and Wilson

Chase also freaks the fuck out and avoids Wilson and house

Wilson, Cameron and foreman make a plane to get them to get together

they are both confused as fuck as to why they all did this but because both f them got their respective significant other’s permission they go along with it.

the next day they both come in to work with a smile on their faces and both of them are limping (house limping slightly harder than normal, and Chase is wearing a very ugly scarf for the rest of the day. ____

I had to include my new favourite ship into this one guys sorry 😅. Also not all of these headcanons will line up most of these are just thoughts that pop into my head

#house md #hate crimes md #hilson #house x wilson #medical malpractice md #james wilson #gregory house #house x chase #robert chase #allison cameron #eric forman #allison cameron x robert chase #robert chase x eric foreman #allison cameron x eric foreman #allison cameron x robert chase x eric foreman #gregory house x robert chase #chouse #house md headcanon

[lanawinterscigarettes]

house has low empathy autism and wilson has high empathy autism and that's where the majority of their differences come from. neither can imagine why the other thinks the way they do and both think their reasoning is superior to the others

#don't mind me just casually dropping my house headcanons out into the open for y'all to see #house md #hate crimes md #greg house #james wilson #hilson #house x wilson #mosses random thoughts