So incredibly frustrated. Recovering from surgery is rough. I’m fighting so hard to get back ROM and strength after loosing all of it once again, but it just feels like I’m stalled out and not making any progress.
I’m six weeks post op and I can bend my knee to 45 degrees. I can’t straighten my knee all the way and I’m can’t seem to communicate with my muscles.
I just keep thinking how many more times can a person fight to get back all of this. How many times can a person learn how to walk up and down stairs again?
I’m so incredibly terrified that this surgery didn’t work and I just desperately want to get back to my life.
I try to remind myself that for the last year and a half I limped through every single day. In so much pain with a knee that was incredibly unstable since my last major dislocation.
That it is hard now but one day I’ll turn the corner and start getting better. That my ROM and strength will slowly come back.
But right now I’m just sad and frustrated and angry that this is my life.
Every day is so incredibly hard.
But maybe just maybe it won’t always be this hard? So I’ll just keep slowing putting one foot in front of the other and hope for better days soon.
And maybe one day I’ll look back at this video and see how hard I fought and smile because things did get better. The hard days weren’t for nothing.
I’m two weeks post op from a MPFL reconstruction. I have a connective tissue disorder called Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome. .
EDS is a group of connective tissue disorders, our collagen is defective. Collagen is a major component of the human body. This causes a wide variety of multi-systematic symptoms.
A year ago I tore my MPFL following another knee dislocation. I finally decided that I needed surgery and couldn’t with how unstable my knee had become.
I’m anxiously awaiting getting back to doing the thing I love most with my favorite little mare.
Here’s to an even better comeback.
But man is it hard right now. Horses bring me the best joy and I’m craving the comfort of their warm breath on my neck, soft foreheads and the calm they bring.
The barn is the one place that I can disconnect and not think about everything that is wrong with the world/my life.
Hopefully soon I’ll be able to get out to the barn and just spend time with Misty. Grooming her, hand grazing and just spending time together. 💙
I love quiet moments in the pasture during summer evenings - the horses quietly eating hay, a soft breeze and the calm that comes with it. These moments are what it’s all about. 🌾