#hopefully it'll be done within the NEXT year haha

[coffeebanana]

In honour of today being the one-year anniversary of when I posted the first chapter of Say Something, I wanted to--ahem--say something about this fic. And I thought about sharing the beginning of the next chapter, but 1. it's still the first draft so it's fairly rough, and 2. it's not very representative of the fic as a whole.

Instead, I thought I'd pick short passage I like from each chapter I've posted so far, because what is my tumblr for if not a little shameless self-promo, and I'm proud of the writing (read: neverending rewriting) I've done for this fic!! Plus this gives me an excuse to list all of my chapter titles which I really love as well ahaha.

(And for anyone who hasn't had a chance to read yet, I'll drop the link to chapter 1 here!! If you're interested in ladrien and/or prpr hurt/comfort featuring sentiadrien angst, then this is the fic for you!!)

Snippets are under the cut!

from chapter 1: Maybe They Sell Amok Chains at the Hospital Gift Shop

Ladybug faced away from him now, her stance rigid as she stared out the window. She kept one hand wrapped around the ring, which hung from a chain around her neck. Adrien wondered for a moment where she’d found the chain—she hadn’t left his side for long yesterday. Maybe her yo-yo had a secret stash of Amok chains. Maybe they were sold at the hospital gift shop. She could have fetched one when the doctors took him for scans. When they’d ensured he wasn’t quite bleeding to death by his father’s hand—only almost. Was a gift shop trinket really strong enough to entrust with the ring responsible for Adrien’s life? Hard to tell—that wasn’t the sort of thing people included on promotional signage. And that was…just about right. Adrien’s very existence was false advertising.

from chapter 2: Failure Sounds Like a Dripping Tap

The bathroom sink had been dripping the entire time, but suddenly it was all Marinette could hear. Suddenly it made her skin crawl. She knew there was a way to make it stop—a particular way to twist the handle—but she couldn’t find the energy for that. So the tap kept dripping, each drop serving as a reminder of the mess she'd made. Drip. She let Gabriel get away. Drip. She was failing her team. Drip. Adrien wouldn’t even look her in the eyes.

from chapter 3: Popcorn Ceilings Are No Substitute For Cloud Watching

This time when she sighed, Adrien felt her breath against the back of his neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Would those bumps make patterns like the ceiling? If Ladybug could read their warnings, would she back down? “Please,” Adrien whispered. He didn’t have words to explain, but he needed this. Panic sank its claws into him, tearing through old scars that never had a proper chance to heal. The chain bearing his Amok grew heavier. Would he ever get to make his own decisions?

from chapter 4: The Stars Don’t Always Lie 

Outside had been about…existing, mostly. About casual touches and errant thoughts. Inside expected a certain something. Words. Interaction. Progress. Adrien had no idea how to go about any of that. He didn’t even realize Ladybug had spoken until she placed a hand on his arm. “Chaton? You okay?” “Fine.” He couldn’t be terrible if he wasn’t entirely present, right? If some part of him seemed to have remained up on the roof, still longing for that freedom he’d barely gotten a taste of?

from chapter 5: Still A Mere Facade

Adrien was curled up on his side, sliding his phone lethargically back and forth across the blanket. He’d been listless all morning, answering her questions a beat too late or not at all. It wasn’t quite the same as the past few days’ silent treatment, but he was still a far cry from the Adrien—and the Chat Noir—that she knew. Marinette just wished she could think of something to say. But the longer she sat there, the more pressure she felt to speak, which in turn made it even harder to cobble together coherent thoughts. And she really had tried everything—there were shockingly few internet resources for how to help your partner come out as a sentibeing. In a last ditch attempt at finding some guidance, she was about to check the copy of the Guardians’ Grimoire she kept on her phone when Adrien froze, inhaling sharply. It took her a moment to figure out why, a moment to process that the other sound she’d heard was that of his phone rolling over the chain bearing his Amok. It always came back to the ring.

from chapter 6: As The World Flickers In Slow Motion

“It’s not stupid.” Nino assured him. “Your feelings aren’t stupid. They’re just… they’re you.” Adrien bit his lip. “Are they, though?” “What do you mean?” Adrien hooked a thumb under the chain around his neck, watching as his Amok hung in the space between him and Nino. “My father had this. The man who never wanted me to go anywhere or do anything. You really think he didn’t use it?”

from chapter 7: Believing in Moments To Come

Nino and Adrien sat side by side against the headboard, Nino smiling at Alya who stood beside him. She was still pulling out folders, stacking them on the bedside table while her eyes lingered on the pizza boxes stacked between the boys. Adrien paid them no attention—his eyes were glued to the spot where Marinette entered the room. He smiled when he saw her. Marinette would have done anything to freeze that moment—finally, a moment where his smile felt real. Where his eyes sparkled the way they had for years whenever he saw her, where his lips curved softly like every time he’d caught her before she could fall. Maybe Alya was right. Maybe she hadn’t screwed everything up.

from chapter 8: Like Molecules In A Gas

He flinched when Ladybug touched his shoulder. “Are you ready?” Midway through her question, an air vent whirred to life overhead, almost seeming to trap her words inside. It would explain why they sounded so far away. Adrien felt just like the air forced through the tube—it didn’t matter what trajectory its individual molecules took, how many times they collided with each other or the walls throughout their journey. In the end, they had no choice but to follow an overarching path, and he had no choice but to keep moving forward either. If only he could remember how to reply.

from chapter 9: A Colour of Wanting More

[...] “The point is, you have strengths and flaws. You make mistakes. You learn. You…you’re human.” His gut plummeted. “Am I, though?” “Yes,” she insisted. “I don’t know how to convince you, but—well, okay, how about this? They took a blood sample, when you were in the hospital. In case…” She shuddered. “Obviously they didn’t find anything strange, or they would have said something. And I’m sure if they did a DNA test, that would come back normal too. If you wanted, I could figure out how to get one done. I’m sure it’s easy.” “I…maybe. But—” “But what? You have a blood type, and…a heartbeat—probably all your organs in the right place too, because they never said anything about that either. And you just…you have this incredible capacity to love people, and you have—” “Existential crises?” “I—well,” she spluttered. “That’s not exactly what I was going for, but…yeah.” She gave a huff of amusement. “I suppose that’s pretty human of you.”

💜 💜 💜

Thank you to everyone who's been reading and interacting with this fic so far! I appreciate you all so much!!

#miraculous ladybug #say something #coffeebanana fics #aaah this post feels like a tiny word scrapbook of the fic so far #these are not necessarily my FAVOURITE bits of each chapter because how am i supposed to choose? #and also i wanted to have things that aren't too spoilery but give a good feel for the fic in case i can entice someone new to read haha #anyways i definitely thought this fic would be DONE by now instead of like half-done buuuuuuut oh well #hopefully it'll be done within the NEXT year haha #sentiadrien #long post

[beckydoesthings]

annual writing self eval

it's uh... 2021. still?

anyways, thanks to @larrysballetslippers and @parmahamlarrie for tagging me in this! it's been a crazy year, but hopefully just the beginning of my writing journey.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 2

2. Word count posted for the year: 65325

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, side Zayn Malik/Liam Payne

5. Story with the most kudos, bookmarks, comments: same for all three, take my hand (my whole life too)

6. Work I'm most proud of (and why): probably my first fic (take my hand), because i had the idea and was determined to get it all down on paper, which i did within almost a month. i think it's some of my best writing yet based on one of my favorite movies

7. Work I'm least proud of (and why): nothing i've published, but i have one that i'm working on now that i wish i had more time to finish because the plot line could be far more fleshed out, but alas.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: i remember i received a comment that said they had stayed up until 3/4 am reading this fic and i definitely felt that on another level XD. made me happy to see that people felt so drawn to my writing that they'd stay up to read it.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: honestly, now. i'm struggling with burnout i think and trying to manage my time in uni. hopefully i can push through and finish up some more fics for next year.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: my star wars AU has several scenes that keep running away from me and drawing out more emotion that i had thought was possible. here's a small example:

He crumples back into his chair, tears already spilling over as he slaps one hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his cries. The Harry-sized hole in his chest throbs painfully, constricting his ability to breathe normally, and Louis thinks, gods I deserve this.

He deserves this for being a Mandalorian, deserves this for being so stubborn, deserves this for falling so in love with a Jedi - someone who’s not even allowed attachments - that his whole being is trembling at the loss. Louis had thought that the night they kissed was the most painful experience he would go through this year.

He was wrong.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: hm... i think i've become more aware of the words and phrases that i like to use all the time and filtering those out. i also came to terms with the fact that i don't really enjoy writing smut too much and that i don't need to force it into my works! if i feel like it fits, i'll write it, but i'm not going to put it in for the sake of trying to draw more people in.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: write more! no, but really, i want to try and develop more of a writing schedule so i can put out works a little more regularly.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: everyone from the @1d-library has been suuuper lovely and supportive! i'm thrilled to have sprinted with everyone on the server!

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: my first fic (which remains unfinished as of rn) was based on a lot of my real life experiences, but i think that work is a little bit like catharsis to me. the rest of my writings have been escapes from reality, which i enjoy equally, but they're quite different.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write for yourself! write things you'd like to read and then go and reread them when they're done! i love reading my own works and it's just as enjoyable as reading someone else's writing.

17. Any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: my star wars AU is long overdue and now that i've got a beta and an artist attached to it, i definitely have to finish it now haha! it will get done, and i think it'll be the best thing i write for a while.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

i think almost everyone has done this but... @stylesthebrave @princelyharry @beelou @justalarryblog @maggieisalarrie if you guys haven't already!

#what do i tag this lol #uh #me #writing tings

[serendipitybutterfly]

BTS Tarot Valentines Day Special:

BTS' Future Marriages...

I know... Unusual for me since I tend to focus more on advice than predictions for the most part... But, as it's this lovey dovey season, I decided to do a marriage themed reading as a special treat as I've gotten asks surrounding this kind of question before... This is going to be a mammoth post... Omg..

This is my Valentines Day present for you guys who follow and like my readings! Thank you!!!! I 💜 you!

So, without further ado... Let's get it!

*Disclaimer- the way i see it, although this is a prediction reading, I'm only working with the energies of the present moment. If one of the boys wakes up tomorrow and firmly decides he never wants to get married, then his path will change and future readings would reflect that. For the most part, the future is in flux and can be changed... If something is a huge, fateful, set in stone kind of event then the cards will let me know. Also, in this particular reading, rather than focusing on the physical appearance of their future partners, I'm intending to focus more on personality and only mention physical appearance if something strongly comes to mind or their looks come forward as a major message of the reading. Ok done! Let's really get it! 💜

Oh wait... before anything else, I was going to call this future Marriages or life partners (because, obviously, not everyone gets married) but I just decided to ask first off if they'd all get married for the sake of clarity and got a resounding yes for them all so... Yeah... As of now, all of the boys are likely to actually get married in the future. Although... Some are closer to that future than others. Also, I was going to put all of the readings into one big post but then I realised how ridiculously long that would be and decided to split the hyung line and maknae line up into two separate posts. I'm starting with the maknae line and hopefully the hyung line post will follow soon...

Maknae line:

Starting with Park Jimin...

Character profile - The archetype cards that popped out gave me an interesting message... I'm getting the image of someone that had quite a hard life, possibly even a somehow traumatic past (cards like bully and victim in particular stood out to me as being indicative of a troubled past), but managed to retain a sweetness and childlike innocence despite it... I'm also definitely getting the image of an introvert. Someone quite soft spoken, gentle and who comes across as a bit shy. She might feel more comfortable with animals and young children than with most people. Physically I feel like she will be younger than him, and somewhat innocent and fragile looking but at the same time there's something kind of edgy and / or sexy in her style... She might wear a lot of dark colours. Yeah... I know I said I wouldn't focus on looks... But I'm definitely also getting East Asian features coming through visually... I'm also seeing long, straight, black hair and fair skin. This is the kind of person who tends to inspire protective feelings in others... But at the same time has a lot of inner strength that they can use to heal and bolster other people's confidence in themselves.

Relationship- With the Dawn card, I feel like she will give Jimin a whole new fresh perspective on life... I'm hearing 'clean slate' and 'washing away'... I'm just feeling a lovely, pure, soothing, watery kind of energy to this connection overall. I mean, the romance angels oracle deck threw out 'True Love' to describe this connection so... I mean, if Jimin still has those romantic dreams of meeting his one true love like he used to... He can definitely have that wish granted! It's just... Going to take some time... With the Chariot in reverse here, I feel like he will have to wait quite some time before they meet...hmm... How old will he be in another 7 years? About 32? Could be around then or after... But, at this point, it's unlikely to be before...

The tarot here couldn't paint a rosier picture tbh... I really hope Jimin does meet this person in the future because it looks like this marriage could genuinely be the making of true and lasting happiness for him. Just look at these beautiful cards! 10 of cups... Happy family with a loving home environment and playing children! The star because this really is a dream come true, a wish answered. Then you have a reversed queen of wands (👀 omg why does Queen of wands energy always come up with anything to do with romance with Jimin??). However... Interestingly enough, here I'm seeing her as a soft spoken young woman who comes across as quite shy and introverted but who possesses a great deal of inner strength and power... (which is why context matters in tarot guys... Cards mean something different to me basically every time!). This is next to the knight of swords who I see as our lovely libra boy Jimin himself... I'm literally see this as a Knight in shining armor rushing in to the rescue. That's how he'll feel in this relationship. Not at all in a burdensome way... But like that feeling gives him this great deal of strength and confidence in himself. She makes him feel strong and capable and in control... Like a hero. Why is this making me emo? ...

Anyway, then the high priestess is here to sum this connection up and I feel strongly that this is an extremely deep, intuitive connection... The meeting of souls... They can look at each other and just... Know what the other is feeling... Could even be a soul mate / past life connection I think... Wow.

All in all... This is great news for Jimin's future in terms of marriage at this point. Although I do think it'll be a while before they meet and longer before actually getting married... It looks pretty rosy from then on! I'm not saying there will be no bumps in the road at all (I can sense that there are certainly some deep personal issues on both sides that actually need to be dealt with through this union... Which is some soul journey stuff... ) however overall this seems like it will be an amazing match! I'm so glad! 💜 💜 💜

Kim Taehyung:

Character profile:... Uh... Haha... You just had to be different huh Tae... Lol... Ok... So here's the thing... Where marriage is concerned, Tae has that interesting fate where he actually has a choice (I mean, everyone has a choice... But most people don't actually recognise it as a choice... It just kinda happens because it's their fate. Tae has the opportunity to make a conscious choice here regarding his fate because it's like either way he can learn important lessons and grow... Both are fated partners for him. Like a real diverging path kind of thing. He will get to a point where he can choose one path or another with basically full awareness of this as a choice... This is really interesting actually. I mean, either way, he will get married and he can be happy either way too... Although in different ways for different reasons... It's very interesting...

As far as personality goes... I see two distinct personalities coming through... On one side you have someone quite mature, serious, artistic, intellectual, quiet and spiritual and on the other side I see someone very young, pretty, flirty, fun loving, popular and witty... Also very wealthy and a little bit haughty... But kinda 'cute' and funny with it?? Idk why I'm getting that... Like a kind of sly sense of humour...

Unfortunately... This is weirdly up in the air because of this aspect of choice. I can see that both will appeal greatly to different sides of him... If only they could be one person... But alas...

Relationship: Again... The tarot shows how up in the air this is because there is not yet a set path. Tae hasn't even met them yet. He's not thinking seriously of marriage at all yet. However, with the Wheel of Fortune reversed here we can see that though this is not yet set in motion, it is fated either way. Death in reverse and the Hanged Man are also giving me that up in the air, 'paused', kind of feeling... Like this fate is just waiting, biding its time to be set in motion... Right now he's on a solo path, pursuing his career and furthering his goals... It's when he's ready to let some of that go that this will be set in motion... It feels like a few years into the future to me... Not too far but not too close either... I'm not getting a definite time frame. It could be within two to three years or around him going into his early 30s...

You'll notice on one side of the 'up in the air fate' cards we've got the 4 of wands and on the other side we've got the 10 of pentacles representing the two different connections. Both are really auspicious cards for marriage. Both connections are also signified by the two of cups... Both are deep love connections... Again because this is up the air, I'm not getting specifics about the outcomes of either choice, but it does seem atleast like he has the potential to be happy in either marriage. However it looks like in one he can have the big family and legacy (in terms of children and grandchildren and leaving a home and inheritance to them) he desires, while the other relationship seems more quiet and more just about them as a couple being happy together.

I feel like the card Solitude: Island speaks of that connection (them being alone and peaceful together... Perhaps travelling to faraway countries together... And that calmer more serious vibe in that connection) while the card Playfulness is speaking of the other connection (way more youthful, energetic, playful, and flirty energy... And also literal children- and puppies!- incoming!).

So yeah *shrug*... Decisions decisions Tae... He can only make the right choice when the time comes at the end of the day (and he has a lot of spiritual guidance on his side if he chooses to tune in). It's quite likely that by then his priorities and desires for what he really wants out of life will become clearer to him and that will make the decision easier... At this point, it seems like neither of them are a particularly bad choice... Though neither is necessarily perfect either... That's what makes this such a big, fateful decision I suppose... Good luck Tae! 💜 🙏

Now for Jungkook:

Character profile: Wow... Whatta boss... Lol. I'm kinda blown away by this energy to be honest. This is like... The best way I can describe it after looking at all the cards is... This is the kind of woman that both men and women are really attracted to and tend to like (regardless of sexuality). Like... Total 'girl crush', role model, material but also super attractive and sexy... Especially to men who like strong, capable women who have that 'boss' energy... Which is apparently future Jungkook I guess...

Actually these cards really make sense just based on what kind of people Jungkook seems to like to associate with anyway... I feel a sense that she will be older than him by at least a few years (if not, extremely mature and successful for her age). This is someone wise beyond their years who actively seeks knowledge and also goes further to implement what they've learnt to help others who are vulnerable. Something else that's coming through strongly is that this person is extremely creative and artistic... They have to be involved in the arts in some way, even if it isn't their main job. Actually, what I think is that she may work in one creative field (like say, a writer cause Scribe is there) but also does alot of other artistic and creative things as hobbies, like painting, drawing, dancing, singing... This is someone who delights in expressing her creativity so it doesn't have to make her money... She just loves it. Actually there's a kind of free spirited, bohemian, hippyish vibe here which is an interesting contrast to the boss energy... (I honestly want to be her best friend??).

Again, I know I said i wasn't focusing on looks but here looks are coming through really strongly... Like her attractiveness is really a major thing people notice about her so it has to be mentioned. I'm seeing long, wavy or curly black or dark brown hair (although she might also sometimes colour it... Especially red or reddish brown). She has a really great body... Like really fit and toned but also curvy (look at that goddess card! like I said... She's sexy). Also, probably a bit above average height. I'm also seeing that this is someone who's likely to have tanned or darker skin or who tans really easily in the sun... Like in the winter she might get quite pale but then in the summer sun gets a lot darker. She's definitely someone really natural, active and outdoorsy who's likely to get out in the sun as much as possible... I think she probably doesn't wear a lot of makeup... I'm just seeing a really natural beauty... Wow.

Relationship- With the Dreamtime: Creation card I'm getting two things coming through strongly. One is that I really think these two (certainly Jungkook) will actively be manifesting each other before they meet and will (or have already) dreamt about each other. Two is that, once again, I'm getting really highly charged creative energy. These are two extremely talented artists getting together and their relationship and home will reflect that. They encourage and push each other to improve. Really unique and quirky relationship actually... In fact, you'll notice that these cards aren't exactly overtly romantic... And yet... I'm still feeling the love?? Theirs isn't exactly a mushy kind of love but it's still very strong and extremely confident and secure. It's based firmly in actions that show love in a more practical way...

With the Sun shining on this marriage it's clear that they'll be really happy with one another (I see happy children here too... Another aspect of their mutual creativity... 😏 ) but there's also a lot of freedom and space. I see a lot of travelling and a lot of respect and understanding between them. That they are forgiving and don't hold grudges is coming through. This isnt a 'tit for tat' kind of relationship where they hold things over one another or only are nice to each other if the other person is nice first... It feels like they work through arguments maturely, quickly forgive everything and move on to being loving again.

With the page and 8 of Pentacles I see that they learn and grow together as people and work hard to make their relationship and bond extremely strong and they're successful in that. With the engagement card, I'm seeing two things, both strong commitment and loyalty to each other and also that they'll probably get married surprisingly quickly after they start dating. This is another case where I think it'll be a long wait for Jungkook... With the king of swords here... I feel like he'll be a definite MAN when he gets married... Like fully grown, probably rocking both longer hair and a beard... Lol... Older and wiser... Like around his mid 30's or even a little later... However, because he'll have been manifesting and dreaming of her for years (probably even already started guys) he'll just know from the time they meet that she's the one... So why hang about?

Conclusion... I kinda want to be bestfriends with Jungkook's future wife... She's really cool... 😭

OK... This has been the maknae line future marriages reading... I will try to drop the hyung line's readings before, on or just after valentines day so stay tuned! Hope you guys enjoyed!!! 💜 💜 💜

#So... This was interesting... #Here's to me doing the hyung line readings before valentines! #This is my Valentines pressie to my followers so i hope you like it... I purple you! #Bts tarot reading #Maknae line future marriages reading #Bts marriage reading #bts tarot reading #tarot reading #Tarot #Bts #maknae line #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook