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tenitchyfingers · 6 months

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can I fuck you up more about Paul and John?

Paul lost a LOT of people. He made the choice and did the work to get over them. As far as I can tell, he made the choice to never get over John. I'm 55. The only example I can think of is my uncle Peter, who was killed in Vietnam in December 1967 at age 25. It completely destroyed the family. It killed my grandmother. To this DAY, my 91 year old aunt and my 84 year old father cannot talk about him without crying.

Paul REFUSES to get over John. He RELENTLESSLY talks about him at every opportunity. He has spent 40 years singing Here Today which makes him cry (I've personally seen it twice) and has spent two years singing a duet with John in concert. He has spent 30 years waiting to release Now and Then. There is NO SUCH THING as a celebrity at his level who NEVER SHUTS UP about someone who died 43 years ago. and he does not give a flying fuck. He is going to make SURE we are all missing John like he was killed yesterday.

Thank you for this. And god, I’m so jealous rn. Never got to see him live, hope I’ll get to and I’m really starting to be very afraid I’ll never have a chance bc like. Guy is old (and I’d like to see Ringo as well, ideally on stage with Paul and maybe Dhani too and Sean or Julian or… who can say? both is good) 😭😭 and yeah, I’ve seen a bunch of live performances of Here Today that Paul did and it seriously does seem like he can’t get used to performing it without at least having his voice crackle or vanish completely. And I wonder what he was thinking while working on Now and Then.

It’s like when Mark killed John, a huge part of Paul was blown up too and like he’s constantly trying to get it back. But I also really am impressed in some way from how much time he spends bringing John up, and I find it sad too because it does seem like he constantly has unfinished business with him, like there’s some closure he’s looking for that he can’t find and the one thing I keep thinking back on is when at a gig he sang Here Today and then told the audience “if there’s someone you love, tell them” because I think THAT’S the thing he keeps regretting and trying to fix and never really getting to (although I do also think John KNEW how much Paul loved him, if not as a “husband” as a best friend let’s say). Aside from the issues I have with John (mostly his behavior towards Julian, because I really think he was a massive dickhead for it, and Jules did nothing wrong to be treated like that), I really don’t think he was very hard to love. Paul is my girlie, but I very much do understand why he loves John so much. And I like thinking that they still talk to each other, through music, in some way. That like, a huge reason Paul still makes music is that that’s how he gets to connect with whatever John left inside of him, if that’s not too corny to say. And I absolutely admit this is my McLennon further brain talking, here. I also DO believe he just loves music and loves making music, of course. But with how much he mentions and talks about John and writes songs for him… like we get it Paul. Keep going, but like, we get it.

#omg hello #fair warning I could talk about Paul and McLennon forever #beatles #macca #john #I really hope Got Back isn’t his last tour #otherwise I’m FUCKED

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mattodore · 9 months

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Did Matthias do anything illegal in his life? What I mean is morally unacceptable behavior that hurts people. If so, why did he do that?

I mean, has he killed someone? Has he beat someone up? How many times has he done it or has it only been occasionally? Do people find him rude? Should people be afraid of him?

I’ve said this about Matthias before, but he’s someone who’s had violent thoughts and urges ever since he was a child. I do think there’s a possible genetic factor at play there, but I also believe that the way he grew up left something chasmic in its wake, this gouge in his chest that he’s been clawing at ever since. Matthias was severely neglected as a child and his development was… slanted, for lack of a better word. There’s something warped in his head, you know? He’s a product of his upbringing.

To give you a picture of Matthias’s childhood, I want to make it clear that he never had any toys. His nursery was nothing more than a crib in a room. No bright colored walls, no alphabet blocks, no pop-up books. He didn’t play, or… not like most children, at least—not how you’d normally picture a child playing. His childhood was spent alone despite the sheer number of staff on the grounds of the estate. If Matthias reached for a hand or wanted comfort from a nanny or another member of the staff, he’d be pushed away. There was no emotional or physical warmth in the Evanoff household and a harsh line had been drawn between Matthias and everyone around him, including his parents, who he saw no more than a handful of times when he was young. What little socialization Matthias had was… well, it was nothing more than giving orders to attendants or having discussions with his tutors about the subjects he was studying. The staff were forbidden from interacting with Matthias more than was strictly necessary and the effect that had on him can’t be understated.

You can see, then, these early building blocks for cruelty being laid out. As a precocious child whose only real social connection with others was formed through analysis and study, it only made sense that Matthias found himself reaching for the books in his father’s library whenever he could, and through that those very same blocks began to stack. Play for Matthias was deconstructing humanity through history, through fiction, parsing through dense text in the ever-present child’s curiosity: but why? And Matthias’s father was an excessively cruel and frighteningly violent man, so his taste in literature certainly reflected that. This is also what I mean when I say there’s a genetic factor at play with some of Matthias’s impulses. Some of it’s inherited. In a way, he gets this from his mother’s side, too, although she’s a different kind of violent… a hands-off kind. I mean, that violence is how Matthias wound up being tortured for three years while trapped in a “therapeutic” reform school. It’s just as cruel, but it pretends to be righteous. So there’s this snapping violence and this opportunistic kind.

I’m saying all of this because I think it gives context to how much control Matthias exhibits over himself and his violent urges now as an adult. Sure, when he was younger he would react, he’d deride and break and hurt, but he doesn’t do that anymore. It’s not that he feels guilt over the impulses he has—there’s no shame there at all, really. To him, it’s just in his nature to get these flashes, these sudden images of brutality. They’ve been there all his life, you know? It’s normal to him. The only reason he doesn’t act on them is because he had impulse control beaten into him at the reform school and because he’s learned that the social contract is something that he can use to his advantage to get whatever it is he wants. He charms and obfuscates now. In that same vein, it’s not often that people find him to be rude, because he keeps his disdainful and unsavory thoughts to himself. You’d have to be someone who’s incredibly perceptive in order to see through Matthias… which just so happens to be Theo to a T.

So what I mean by this is that now when Matthias does actually act on these thoughts, these urges that dig at his brain, there’s normally a catalyst to them—this trigger that sends fire all through the synapses in his body. Matthias is incredibly loyal to Imani and Theo and he’s someone who’s very protective of them. Throughout his early teen years, back when he and Imani went to the same boarding school, he was constantly shielding Imani from the brunt of the corporal punishment that came with the turf. At that age he was volatile and would even hit back at times, but he knew that would land him in solitude and separated from Imani for days on end, which he just couldn’t have—not if he wanted to make sure nobody hurt her. He learned restraint for Imani’s sake then, but it wasn’t until he was trapped in the reform school that that restraint was fully drilled into him as a result of psychological torture and abuse.

He’s quick to offer a slicing comment, to give a chilling smile, to go eerily still and intimidate with his stare alone, but now as an adult he doesn’t often get physical unless provoked. He keeps it in and he holds himself back, this taut tension in his jaw only there for a moment before the mask submerges him again and holds his head under water. It’s really only when Theo’s involved that Matthias just… God, he really just can’t help himself. The cracks widen and he gets physical. It’s vicious. He has all this strength now, this imagination that only ever comes alive when he’s thinking of this, and he’s had years of experience in actual brawls that were just horrible—he’s been ganged up on, hit with metal chairs, humiliated and jeered at while bleeding everywhere, ripped out of bed and kicked until his ribs broke… It's safe to say that he takes pain like it means nothing to him now. So he swallows the blood he tastes when a hit lands and just plows through like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, like it’s programmed in him. It’s animalistic. It’s vengeful. It’s rapturous.

Like I said, seeing harm come to the only people Matthias loves has a disastrous effect on his self-control. Imani’s in a better place now that she’s an adult, but Theo… well, Theo’s been hurt by a lot of people—his parents, faces at clubs, ghosts from his past… too many instances to even begin getting into each of them. And Matthias has to unravel red yarn before a board and string together all of these physical reactions Theo has around some people, has to tilt his head as he replays the tapes and rewinds through remarks Theo’s made that felt off even before Matthias knew there was something going on there. Theo doesn’t talk about his hurt, doesn’t talk about anything that could make him weak, that exposes the nasty underbelly of his private life, so it’s up to Matthias to pick up on what’s been left unspoken. The specifics may not be there, but it’s enough to see Theo flinch at the sound of his own name being called, to watch him freeze up when a hand raises too fast, to track Theo as he checks the locks once, twice, three times in a row before he moves away. Matthias notices it all and he’s an eye for an eye kind of man. He can’t even help himself there, has no restraint when it comes to Theo, so… he handles it.

The furthest Matthias has ever gone, the worst he’s ever injured somebody, was when he nearly killed someone from Theo’s old summer boarding school. Theo managed to stop him, but only by a hair’s breadth. Matthias could have gone to prison for that one, he easily could’ve, but… there were circumstances and, when it comes down to it, Matthias is obscenely wealthy. In the end, he got off scot-free from attempted murder while the other party was hospitalized. He handled the rest without physical violence, though he certainly wanted to finish what he started. But, at the end of the day, Theo comes first, always.

He’s certainly engaged in far more illegal and immoral activities (his little blackmail moment was a personal favorite of mine), but physically he’s never gone so far as murder (though he’s not opposed…) and while he’s definitely lost control and grievously injured some people, I’d say he’s only ever hospitalized a handful. He keeps himself in check… most of the time, at least. He honestly doesn’t fly off the handle for no reason. If you keep your hands to yourself and watch your mouth then you don’t have to be afraid of him in that way. Still, it’s better to just keep your distance. He has too much fun pulling strings.

#IT WAS THE WAY THE IMAGE WAS CROPPED THAT WAS MAKING IT NOT SHOW UP... LITERALLY WHATTTT? WHATEVER IT'S BEEN CROPPED NOW SO. POST. PLEASE.#river dipping #asks #anonymous #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #oc extras #ts4 #cw child abuse mention #cw blood #spent a bit editing this screenshot look at the blood i'm kicking my feet and twirling my hair <3 #while editing this i listened to animal impulses by iamx on a loop it's one of matthias's latest additions to his playlist and woof #''no civilizing hides our animal impulses'' fits him so well. this and bring me back a dog... iamx understands matthias more than anyone #but okay. laying down on the floor forever after finally finishing writing all of this...#i kept deleting everything i would write and starting over like i was going through it with this one #i ended up deciding not to really get into it with the specifics irt the theo stuff #idk i'm conflicted abt it i don't really wanna say anything for sure until i finally make the decision and feel like i can talk abt it #with like... a full grasp of it all? but to that anon from a few months back who asked abt theo's pinterest board: that's who.#................................anyway hello <3 #i was gone for over a week and you may be thinking wow river you must be really far in that game you've been playing about gates #or maybe you thought i've been spending all my time trying to write this reply but ach nae.........................#i've just been reading obsessively like literally reading 24/7 doing almost nothing else #[ayo edebiri voice] i have No. Hobbies. Other Than This.#also my activity feed has been staring at me and i've been staring right back at it since i logged in to post this kjnkgjnh #i need to catch up on some things too i rlly do but you see the draw of reading another epub............ she's a strong temptress #hope you've all been well <3 my avpd is still fighting me but whatever i'm used to it kjngfkjnfh

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thawthebeez · 9 months

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hey guys. tumblr user thawthebeez back at it again with yet another haikyuu essay B) the topic of today is one that i see NOBODY talking about which is crazy because this motif is (in my opinion) one of the main foundations of the kagehina community.

now may someone please explain to me why the HELL nobody ever talks about how whenever Tobio expresses an insecurity of ANY KIND, Hinata is ALWAYS the first one to swoop in and tell him not to worry about it?

yes, we've all established that Hinata Shouyou is the #1 Kageyama Tobio understander. we get that. BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN DISPLAYS OF THAT AND I'VE SEEN LITERALLY NOBODY SPEAK OF IT EVER.

i'm pretty sure there's an instance of it in season 2 (either that or my brain just made it up) when Tobio is a little worried about his and Hinata's quick attack not really working out but Hinata tells him "nah you'll figure it out eventually" or something along those lines. i'm not going to lose my shit over it because i can't find it but if you know YOU KNOW.

a part that i COULD find from season 2, however, was this:

here we have Tobio explaining how talented of a setter Oikawa is- how he's so much better than him- and it's clear that this is something he's insecure about given his facial expression.

THEN we have Hinata's INSTANT response:

and it blows Tobio away because WHAT

because, to paraphrase a little, Tobio basically just said "yeah oikawa can make any spiker look good no matter what team he's on" to which Hinata replied "yeah but that team wouldn't be Karasuno" which is essentially "Karasuno is strong enough as it is" BUT- if ur crazy- " dw he wouldn't take your spot babe" (<- which probably isn't how it's meant to be interpreted because they just finished talking about The Team That's Stronger As Six thing so like... context clues. it's probably not the insane interpretation).

ANYWAYS boom there it is. Tobio expresses insecurity, Shouyou swoops in and goes "Ermmmm Actuallyyyyy🤓" WHICH IS SO FUCKING ENDEARING ON IT'S OWN BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE AND AT SUCH A CRITICAL POINT TOO

the critical point in question being:

(context: Tobio just came back from his training camp in Tokyo and is a little frustrated because he's gotten so used to playing with other prodigies like himself so to go back to talented-but-not-prodigious players is a bit of a switch for him. don't get him wrong tho he loves this team to DEATH it's just a little different that's all. hashtag number one Tobio apologist right here)

SO THERE'S THIS! and it goes without saying that Tobio is DEEPLY insecure about his late middle-school days and being referred to as a king. Tsukishima adds a little salt to the wound and while I didn't take a screenshot of it Tobio makes this look of absolute HORROR after he says what he says

(which, side note, shows a lot of a character development within Tobio. especially since I've been flipping between season 2 and 4 a lot looking for these clips. Tobio didn't even notice when he was acting kingly before but he realizes it INSTANTLY now which is so so so good for him yayyyy character development!)

this also leads fantastically into my next tangent which is

TOBIO FUCKING APOLOGIZES!

now, admittedly this isn't entirely related to my thesis but i absolutely ADORE talking about this scene and i genuinely think it is one of the most prevalent displays of character development within Tobio because i feel like he tends to get overshadowed by all the other characters (especially Hinata, which i'm not upset about in the slightest like it makes perfect sense and if Tobio got all the attention all the time the show would be soooo unbalanced)

but I feel like a lot of people skip over Tobio's overall development over the course of the show. I mean compare s1 Tobio to s4 Tobio THAT IS NOT SAME PERSON ANYMORE. he grows so much over such a short period of time (which is another essay I could write. something along the lines of "Explaining Why Tobio And Shouyou Need To Be On Separate Teams Actually Because Character Development Purposes" because the amount of people i've seen on tiktok complaining about kghn being on separate teams and how they should just be on the same team forever makes my blood boil violently) and it's so refreshing to see Tobio's growth especially as a big Tobio enjoyer.

ANYWAYS back to the main thesis.

So Hinata steps in IMMEDIATELY here. literally cuts Tobio's apology off because HE HAS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. he was expressing his thoughts whatever that's fine he could have done it in a nicer way SURE but listen the guy still has a LOOOONNNGGGG way to go but still, nothing to apologize for. it's just growing pains, y'know?

now the quote "What's wrong with him being the King again?" appearing here isn't the first time we're seeing this. Hinata has ALWAYS been confused as to why calling Tobio a "King" is a bad thing. literally from day fucking one Hinata was like "nah dude I think that title is cool" WHICH, AGAIN, TOBIO BEING INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHOUYOU REASSURING HIM THAT IT'S TOTALLY CHILL HELLO?????

LITERALLY FROM DAY ONE SHOUYOU HAS BEEN DOING THIS. THAT MAN MAY THINK TOBIO'S AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES (and he kinda is) BUT NEVER WILL HINATA INHERENTLY HATE A PART OF HIM. and i don't think they realize it here nor do i think the realization comes soon after but at some point there will be the realization that they love each other. every single part. fucking Tobio probably realized it way back in junior high but that's a tangent for another time.

now this line.... this one right here...... oh my god i can be SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

the main reason why Tobio had this look of HORROR on his face after he yelled at everyone was BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ENDING. he knew that yelling at them would have consequences (if it weren't for Hinata stepping in thank god). HE'S SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. in his final year of junior high he yelled at his teammates to run faster and jump higher and be better AND THEY LEFT HIM!!!

so Tobio yelling like this instantly makes him afraid that he's just ruined the entire balance of the team. he thinks he's going to be left behind again because he yelled and everyone is going to leave him BUT!!!!!

BUT SHOUYOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPS IN AND SAYS "idc what u say honestly if i don't like i'm just not gonna listen" OR, TO TRANSLATE "i'm not going anywhere regardless of what you say"

Tobio's biggest fear is losing this team. I literally do not need to explain why. that man would fucking DIE for this team (if you really need an explanation just to go the end of the Kamomedai match when Tobio admits that he's upset they lost because he wanted to play with that specific team more).

and for Hinata to essentially say "you could literally be as kingly as u want and i simply would not care, pal, i promise you i am NOT going ANYWHERE!!!" which has got to be SO FUCKING RELIEVING FOR TOBIO.

(also something something "nobody was there" / "i'm here" something something "doesn't matter what kind of toss goes up if you send it my way i'm hitting it" something something they're soulmates or whatever they are literally bound together by the universe they were destined to be together and it's a crime that universe kept them apart for so long and now that they're together they will always BE together two peas in a pod literally inseparable they are hot glued and duct taped together.)

and then there's this. i mean at this point you already know what i'm going to say like you get it by now but again IT MUST BE SO RELIEVING TO TOBIO to know that shouyou thinks his biggest insecurity is cool. that shouyou thinks that it's not something to be concerned about. that no matter what, no matter how much a King he is, they're not going anywhere.

SOMETHING SOMETHING "you drew stars around my scars" IF YOU EVEN CARE

and just the fact that it's always ALWAYS shouyou to do this. the fact that there was dead silence before shouyou spoke up. the fact that it's ALWAYS HIM there to understand Tobio (someone who has been misunderstood for as long as he can remember) GOD THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.

anyways thank you for being a witness to this madness👍

#i know kagehina day was like 3 days ago LISTEN #i'll be there on hinakage day i promise #but again the fact that this is not as commonly talked about as it is is WILD to me #also the “Hinata and Kageyama need to be on separate teams actually” is an essay i think i will genuinely write at some point #just one more tiktok of people saying “noooo the boyfriendsss they need to be on the same team” and i'll do it i'll fucking do it #THEY CAN BE BOYFRIENDS AND BE ON DIFFERENT TEAMS PLEASE UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!1 #they needed to be on different teams in junior high for obvious plot reasons #they needed to be on the same team in high school for character development reasons #and they NEED to be in different teams going forward so they can continue to motivate one another #THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S GREATEST MOTIVATORS #there is nothing they love more than playing against one another like did you SEE the adlers v. jackals match HELLO #even when the adler's were LOSING tobio looked like he was having the TIME OF HIS LIFE #and you could tell that Hinata loved it too. not just because he was finally making up on that “i'm gonna beat u one day” promise #if they end up the same team forever they will just never feel that joy THEY NEED TO BE ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE NET I PROMISE #a net is not enough to stop a red string of fate #anyways #volleyball guys #wahoo another essay for the haikyuu tag!

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mymarifae · 26 days

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completing the 2.2 trailblaze mission gives you new daily text messages from aventurine if you have him.. 🥹 so you're Not just left with his scheduled post-suicide-attempt farewells. and it's a really nice conversation too. he plays it off like a game buuuut he loses on purpose every time so really he's just opening up of his own volition

(i'm still alive, and i'm happy about that 🥹 his conversation with acheron really left a profound impact on him oh my godddd)

aventurine... of all people... reaching out and talking so honestly about what happened and how it affected him... and seeing a therapist of sorts (bit of an oversimplification but that's basically what the doctors of chaos do so like). sometimes all you need to start learning how to value your life again is to uhh ..literally get cut in half

#ALSO! MY AVENTURINE STELLE FRIENDSHIPISMS #they're real.#he trusts her quite a lot it would seem huh. despite everything #they have a chance to be friends for realsies now and he seems to actively want that and that makes me so happy #go dumpster diving with her kakavasha. you'll have fun #honkai star rail spoilers #I'M SO GLSD HE'S BACK FOR REAL BTW #i got so excited when i saw him in the fake-out and then he started talking about the ipc's deal and i was like ?#and realized jt wasn't real. and i was miserable #BUT THEN HE'S ACTUALLY FOR REAL BACK 🥹#thank you argenti (??????? god i wish that hadn't been off screen. i bet they had the funniest dynamic in the world)#i think once he and boothill get talking they'll get along. boothill's a pretty amenable guy even though he likes to say hello with his Gun #so that'll be fine #they have a lot in common after all. in terms of the ipc fucking them over forever #i wonder if there will be any other texts from aventurine... guess i'll find out in like 40 minutes when the day refreshes

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nemtheanga · 9 days

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Nemtheanga

‘Do-beram á mar mbréthir’ ar Bricni ‘Acht is airdarcu dúin sanas ná da neoch aile éigem.’ // ‘We swear,’ says Bricriu, ‘Only to us is a whisper more obvious than a cry to any other’

With the exception of one short passage in Scéla Conchobuir maic Nessa,* there are no physical descriptions of the Ulster Cycle’s premier Trickster, Bricriu mac Carbada. Despite that, I’ve been working with him for so long now that he’s all but gained total sentience in my head so here he is—the man, the myth, the menace.

I love this little shit with all my heart. He’s a social manipulator of the highest order. He throws the best parties. Him and Fergus are the most extremely divorced couple in the world. He’s such a pain in the ass that it actually puts him beyond reproach. He is completely pathetic. Ulster would have self-destructed without him.

*Frankly, I’m not entirely inclined to read the pinnochio-esque boil as particularly useful for a few reasons but I did like the idea of at least some of his otherness showing outwardly, hence the port-wine birthmark.

#hi hello i'm the Bricriu Guy and everyone is sick of me talking about him but he is my special little princess i don't care #any resemblance to certain swedish frontmen masquerading as satanic popes is entierly intentional #Bricriu is voiced by Tobias Forge in my head #i did not ask for this #i did not want this #and yet here we are #it's that little eheheheh i'm onto you! about the janky signal on the in ear monitors #that interview #that's what stuck in my head forever as the face voice and mannerisms of the man i'm making the foundation of my academic career #so thanks Tobias #sagastudies #ealain #Bricriu mac Carbada #Ulster Cycle

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love-songs-for-emma · 3 months

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am i going to single-handedly create a fandom about jay holt from the video game "as dusk falls"? i just fuckin might

#i Cant stop thinking about him. ive literally been dreaming about him. i Need to help him. please #hes just a fuckin kid!!! (18?? 19??) hes a TEEN and his family is FUCKED and its not his FAULT #none of this was his fault. he deserves so much fuckin BETTER #also i thought i didnt care about vanessa but then shes got dead brother trauma hi hello hiiiiii #and now jay does too #fuck my LIFE #ive never been one for self-inserts but actually me jay and vanessa hang out regularly in a tree house we built #we laugh and shoot the shit and talk about what losing our brothers have done/are doing to our psyche #as dusk falls #jay holt #vanessa dorland #new hyperfix u say ? this one will be brief hopefully. bc the game is fucking. unfinished. stupid ass cliffhanger ass bjtch ass #plus im rewriting canon so jay has a good young life. no timeskip for MEEE #maria is literally just rambling. hi #.txt #the only fic ive ever written/outlined was about alana bloom from nbc's hannibal & she Deserved a rewrite #but maybe i need to indulge in writing jay holt's better reality TOO #theres a quote. hang on. a quote from a beloved piece of media. why cant i recall what its from rn #but theyre talking about different timelines n shish and one of them says ''maybe this *is* your best reality'' and its SO sad. fuck #is it hannibal. i feel like its always hanniba #no but also i feel like its not???#its like ''this is your best life. youre not getting a better one''#what the eff is that. im gonna be stuck on this forever #EDIT: IT IS FROM FUCKING HANNIBAL. BUT ITS GODDAMN FREDRICK CHILTON OF ALL PEOPLE WHO SAYS IT #''The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true.#This is your best possible world Will. Not getting a better one''#fucking CHRIST chilton #lines that go HARD

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sucrate · 3 months

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ASHE! ASHE!!!!

MUTUAL VIBE CHECK!!

Have been a time since we talked! I hope you're doing alright and having a good night/day!!

Just came to say 'hi' because you're a very special person to me! you were one of the first person I talked here on tumblr and I will never forget the funny little thing we would send each other. I wish we could go back to talking with one another someday, I really miss you!!

HI OMG HI OMG !!!! FOXY:-) TYSMM RAA ? ? ? I MISS U 2 WTF !!! tysm 4 this omggg im doing sooo well <- KILLED IN THE ACADEMICS . i hope ur doing well too >_< !!!!!

#ask #HI FOX #dudeim drowning in . work like so much work theyre putting my ass THROUGH it this year . hello .#nyways i got super into svs ss thoo ugh . Souhhh . Sooo . IM INSANE OVER IT .#no literally i haveto . do this internship for a month now plan trips all year round finish college applications n letters n resumes n all #my current school work LIKE . THEYRE TRYING TO KILL ME .#in hell but its ok tho bc i uh what its my birthady . soon . = MONEY . 😻 and also im taking sword lessons hi . love beinginsane #HOPE UR DOING WELL TOO !!! i just like rambling in tags hi . how to post on tumblr dot com . fufcking forgot . i dont post art anymore bc #errmm . too much work bye . also my clip studio paint kicked me out after 4 years . YAY . no idea how to post Yeap yeap . OW OKAY . WELL .#HOPE UR OKAY BC . my tummy hurts . GOOD DAY FOXY !!!#WISH I COULD TALK W U ALL MORE IM JUST SO BUSY FOREVER NOW 🙁

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 3 months

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MAC I HAVE A QUESTION. VERY IMPORTANT. what on EARTH is the suckening. i have seen posts on ur blog with blood and such tagged jrwi suckening and i am so so intrigued i love blood and gore and fucked up homoeroticism <3 pls pls pls tell me what the suckening is i am on my knees begging rn

oh dude holy fucking shit . so. u know i have been posting about jrwi it has been my main thing since like november. well. in case u do not know. its a dnd podcast run by charlie slimecicle, grizzlyplays, condifiction and bizly. their main campaign is called Riptide and its the one with the fish guy and all the pirates. WELL. they have a patreon and on their patreon they sometimes do mini campaigns! let me preface this by saying i have never even REMOTELY had an interest in paying for ANYTHING on patreon only because i fuckinf hate subscription payments and also im usually hesitant about paying money for fandom things especially in the content creator sphere etc etc you know how it is . HOWEVER. god their pther campaigns are so fucking worth it dude. the long running secondary main campaign thats been going along around the same time as riptide is called Prime Defenders and its a superhero themed one! i am just at the beginning of season 2 rn its so good william wisp my absolute beloved. (something else rlly cool is that they rotate being the dm for each of the campaigns and i think that makes each of them really fresh and unique bc everyone has a different dm style and a different way of telling a story. god i fucking love dnd and collaborative storytellint its incredible)

ANYWAY IM GRTTING SIDETRACKED. so during hiatuses from riptide and pd they sometimes run limited campaigns that only go for a handful of epsiodes. one of this is. regrettably. called the Suckening. its run using the vampires: masquerade ttrpg setup and ruleset which is. obviously. centered around vampires. CHARLIE SLIMECICLE is the dm and i fucking love it because god that man has a mind for horror. (he also ran blood in the bayou which was a 4-epispde mini campaign using call of cthulu and ive listened to it like 3 times now bc its got nasty bug body horror in it hooooly shit its so good) ANYWAY. um . its not *as* homoerotic as the fanart makes it out to be. just a warning. but there is a scene where two homies drink each others blood (one is a human one is a vampire. theres this think in the masquerade called blood bonding and its like. if you get a human to drink your blood on three separate occasions they become your servant basically. really homoerotic stuff in theory) and when the vampire is scolded for it he goes "well he already loves me. hes my boy" and they generally have that dynamic going on. fizzfangs i lvoe you.

ANYWAY UHHHHH. the first ... four? five? episodes are up for free on YouTube and theyve got a fun little visual novel style to them with the official character art :] heres a link 2 the first ep!!

youtube

the rest (there are 8 episodes as of rn!) are totally on patreon but if u end up listening and liking them enough to want the rest hit me up because ive got those download links i can share with u bc ur my beloved mutual and i love sharing things with my friends so they dont have to pay for them <3

#whiskey PLEASE if u end up listening. plead efor the love of god talk to me about jrwi #its been in my brain for so fucking long dude i love them so much. obsessed. unhealthily #gillion tidestrider has taken up permanent residence in my mind. hello gillion i love you.#if u want a breakdown of the player characters (and also soda) i would be happy 2 give them to u. but this ask was already so long #this is my can of worms you cannot open it ill be so annoying.#i was feeling a specific type of way last night which is why you suddenly saw an influx of fizzfangs posts im not sorry it will happen again #oh also grefgor is there hes my angel the light of my life. i fucking love everything about grefgor forever #from the top rope my prince!#hes like. u know when theres a prince and a knight and theyre a little gay about it. yeah.#i looooove grefgor.... i love shilo i love emizel i ESPECIALLY love soda #....arthur is there too i guess #hehe #friends!!!#asks #hi whsikey. im going to be so annoying to you

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