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#hes so soft and so anxious!!!!! like omg i cant believe im wearing this but.. u like it??
st4rch1ld404 · 7 months
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if u asked him to put it on he would. only because he loves u so much and knows how happy u would be <3
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bunny-xoxo · 3 years
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Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤
for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤
disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️
warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?
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gif not mine, credit to owner
a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!
Relationship Headcannons
Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him
You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee
He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!
Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way
And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :
HAND SQUEEZES
I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA
I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??
Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr
He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!
It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!
Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous
OH
You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along
“C’mon, let’s look over here”
AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)
He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)
ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding
Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST
I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)
I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!
You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”
And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!
And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES
Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj
So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok
He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️
You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??
“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”
And he’d really just be like no :)
“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)
OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”
KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE
Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG
Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???
and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼
I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh
UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??
“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”
“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”
“Kenma-“
“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”
“😐”
“Ok so-“
“Kenma.”
“😒”
Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼
Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer
UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER
Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever
Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!
OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?
I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!
1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO
2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard
3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really
4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️
5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so
6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways
7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)
8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs
9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)
10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)
11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.
12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌
13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy
14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢
15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )
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Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!
-🐇out
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neokollection · 5 years
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Kissing Out of Jealousy
NCT U + Yuta
‘Can I request a NCT U kissing you out of jealousy?’
A/N: I’m sure there’s already a reaction of this, but I’m here to add another :^) This is assuming you’re dating for some members, but for some you’re not dating, they like you- THIS IS LONG BTW!! [Kinda more like a mini drabble per each member]
** Language, some suggestive themes, but nothing explicit ** ik some ppl don't find jealousy cute so don't read if you not into that..
Taeil:
Taeil wasn’t the type to get jealous easily or behave pettily- Rather, he was just protective at times and would feel he’d have to interject to save you from situations... Whether you were feeling uncomfortable or not- Yet a part of your boyfriend also felt slightly neglected, a faithful dog waiting on the other side of the fence with it’s tail wagging at the sight of it’s owner, even though it’s owner was petting the neighbor’s cat.
He called out your name in the hopes of getting your attention as he watched you and Ten staring at your screens before nudging each other continuously with a laugh to show the other a recent entertaining Tweet. He was all for you bonding with the other boys, but he’d missed you this week and throughout the day constantly stuck by your side. Placing the bowl of steaming popcorn upon the coffee table, he took his seat beside you on the couch, hand patting around for the remote he’d dropped there moments before.
“OMG- You have to show that to Mark,” Ten gasped, covering his mouth to conceal his wicked grin as he looked at the meme you’d stumbled upon of Mark’s shorts.
“Let me see,” Taeil added, not wanting to miss out and curious as to what was so funny.
He leant in, eyes flickering to Ten as he watched the younger lean back into the couch, thumbs moving rapidly upon his screen. Taeil listened amusedly as he heard your small chuckle in his ear, a smile gracing his lips as he saw your screen before drawing back partially.
“You’re amused so easily,” he chuckled, nose nearly brushing your own as he leant nearer, a hand shooting to your waist to tickle you gently.
“Says you,” you squirmed with a bright smile.
Finally, his forehead rest upon your own, his antics stilling as he closed the gap between the two of you for a quick kiss. Embarrassed about kissing so openly with Ten by your side, you felt a blush creep upon your cheeks as you pulled away shyly. You could have sworn Taeil’s gaze jumped from your lips to your eyes to Ten before he closed the gap once more- You let out a muffled chuckle against his lips as your hands went to the front of his shirt to slow him down and steady yourself.
“Ew- God- Could you not?” Ten whined in disapproval, scooting away.
You could feel Taeil’s smile against your lips before he drew back, eyes as lively as ever.
Smothering you and being that cute couple to show off and make others wanna gag, but not let you think it’s a jealousy thing-
Taeyong:
Easily, one of the most jealous man you’d ever dated. He had his share of insecurities that make him question whether he’s worthy of love and attention, and an anxiety about losing the person he cherishes the most... So, seeing your interactions with your old classmates made him feel even more insecure in the moment. He’d had a stressful and busy week and hadn’t gotten to see you much, merely late calls that usually didn’t last long because he’d coax you to go to sleep early since you’re busy as well. Meeting a few of your old high school classmates, totally coincidentally at Gong Cha was all it took for him to have a small internal freak out. He already didn’t like that they were guys, even more so that they’d known you longer than he had technically... He felt excluded- He always wanted to be a part of every part of your life and have you in every part of his- To him your soulmates and he didn’t like feeling as though someone had a leg up on him in regards to you.
“You look great! Wow- It’s been a minute, but wow-” one of your old classmates gushed, stunned by how you’d matured and glowed up through the years spent apart.
You gave a small chuckle in return, “I’m surprised you recognized me-”
“I mean how could I forget (Y/n)?” he joked, gesturing towards you, followed by a few hums of the other classmates beside him.
You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that- You didn’t think of yourself as too memorable of a person during high school. You’re boyfriend disliked it even more, a scowl etched into his features- He didn’t like not being in the know or what exactly the man meant.
“Well, it’s a small world I guess,” you wrapped up awkwardly, “It was nice to see you,” you added, able to feel Taeyong’s calculating gaze.
Sighing to yourself, you took a sip of your tea, inviting Taeyong to ask whatever he was going to ask.
“Were you popular in high school?”
“No,” you huffed, “Not really anyway- I’ve already told you about my high school- I wasn’t even friends with those guys... I can’t believe he recognized me.”
‘You’re just too pretty to be forgettable’ was what Taeyong had been thinking, but decided to keep it in. He could still feel their fleeting gazes glancing towards you as they sat down in laughter- He didn’t like that... What were they talking about? You? Were they laughing about you? Who knew what prude remarks they were making.
“I’d have dated her back in junior year if I knew she was gonna turn out like this-”
Feeling jealous, protective, and anxious he stood, causing you to look up at him, “Where are you going..?”
“Bathroom,” he informed before bending down, his hand coming to cradle your jaw as he sealed your lips together in a sweet kiss- Lips tasting of caramel.
Your lips followed his own as he drew back, swiping his thumb endearingly across your cheek before giving it a gentle pinch. You pulled your face from his grasp at the action, playfully pouting at your cup of tea as he left the table.
“I know right-”
The voices got louder as he approached.
“Could you keep your voices down?” he asked, yet it wasn’t really a question- His tone and gaze icy and curt before he brushed past their table to the restroom.
Yuta:
Tossing in jealous Yuta because that’s hot-
You didn’t have to be dating Nakamoto Yuta for him to feel as strongly as he did. He felt like you were already his, his sweet, his dear, his precious- And he wasn’t going to let the world or anyone else take that away from him. You loved him as a friend- The two of you had crossed the boundary of friendship a few times with late night kisses and drunken texts- But there was something about his possessive nature that made you hesitant to progress any further with him. Just being his friend you felt like a prisoner-
“I have to drop by my brothers’ dorm to give him back his battery pack-” you began, halting as you remembered.
“I’ll go with you,” Yuta chimed, slinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as his other hand pulled the drawstrings of the hoodie harshly, causing it to close around your face.
You stumbled into him mid-step as he did so, whining dramatically as your hands attempted to shove him aside.
“My brother doesn’t like you,” you interjected, pulling the hood free from your mess of hair as Yuta released you.
With a shrug he focused his attention on taming your hair, the action causing your face to heat.
“You shouldn’t go into the boys dorm alone,” he reprimanded, motherly as ever.
Jaehyun. Your brother’s roommate and soccer teammate of Yuta- was coming down the very path you were on the quad.
“Jaehyun!” you called out suddenly, happy to find a delivery man.
His eyes darted from his phone to you, his brows knitting together seconds later-
“Hey,” he began, slowly letting his gaze drift between the two of you before to your hoodie.
“Uh... Is that your hoodie?”
“I stole it from my brother- Don’t tell,” you chuckled.
Letting out a soft chuckle of amusement, Jaehyun shook his head, “That’s not your brother’s- That’s mine. I’d been looking for it all week-”
“Oh my God!” you gasped, dropping the tote bag from your shoulder, “I’m so sorry! I- It was on his side of the room... So I thought-”
“It’s fine,” he interjected, “It looks good on you-”
Yuta’s gaze narrowed at that remark and before he even had a moment to stop you, you were peeling off the hoodie and offering it to an astonished Jaehyun. You saw no issue with it, you were wearing a t-shirt underneath.
“I’m so so sorry! Also...” you began, picking up your bag, “Could you give this to my brother?”
“Sure-” Jaehyun nodded, scratching the nape of his neck as you pushed the goods into his hands before whipping around and grabbing the side of Yuta’s plaid jacket to bring him in tow with you-
“O my God... That was so embarrassing-” you rambled, feeling your face hot in embarrassment.
Suddenly, Yuta’s feet stopped moving, causing you to stop. He removed his phone from the pocket of his jacket before slipping it into his jeans, removing his coat.
“What are you doing?” you asked dumbly before catching on, “N-No, I’m not cold or anything-”
Silently, he draped it over your shoulders before his hands slid to the open front of it, grasping it before pulling you closer by the collar. His lips melded with your own, needy and passionate, jealousy brewing in his heart at even a simple encounter. His hands slid down to the zipper, zipping it quickly as he pulled away, your arms constricted, a smug expression on his face before he began walking again.
“H-Hey! GET THIS off me!” empty sleeves flopping by your sides as you hobbled after him.
The type to give you a little taste of his cold shoulder and reprimanding you for being careless [about making him jealous basically].
Kun:
Respectful and mature bub who wouldn’t do anything unless the two of you were dating, and for a while.
He couldn’t understand why Xioajun was so clingy towards you- I mean... He understood it in a sense since he was also in a way- But it was different. You were taken- Xiaojun should have taken a hint from him by now. Kun was constantly swooping in to interrupt the too of you, the hint of a small grin gracing his features each time to hide his unkindly thoughts towards the younger.
“Does Xiaojun bother you?” he questioned, watching as you pulled on your socks from the doorway of your bedroom, his shoulder resting against the frame.
“No?”
Cocking your head to the side, you couldn’t understand what Kun was hinting at or why he was asking.
“He’s always around you...”
“Yeah,” you chuckled, “We’re friends.”
You stood, ready to pass by your boyfriend and slip on your shoes by the doorway, yet he didn’t budge.
“Well...” he began, “I don’t want to sound ...clingy, but I don’t like it-”
“There’s nothing to worr-”
You were mid-roll of your eyes, when he cut you off, his warm hand enveloping around your own, “You’re mine, right?”
There was a hint of something swimming in his chocolate gaze, as if a saddened part of him needed reassurance.
“O-Of course,” you admitted, blushing to yourself from feeling caught off guard.
“Then I have a right to be like this,” he added, voice softer.
You open and shut your mouth dumbly, not sure what to say in response. Yes? He to a degree had a right to feel jealous- But... There was really no reason to be jealous over Xiaojun- Tugging your hand forward gently, he drew you to meet his lips, lilting his neck down. His kiss was delicate, lips plush and substantial, but movements gentle and loving. Your knees felt weak, as if it was your first kiss again.
“Don’t worry about it,” you nearly whispered as he drew back, “I’ll try to be mindful,” you added, referring to distancing yourself a bit so Kun wouldn’t get the wrong impression again.
“We’re going to be late...”
Doyoung:
You drew back to take a breath before your lips were smothered again, his nostrils flaring in anger and also the need for oxygen. You whined gently against his lips, attempting to pull back once more. You panted, out of breath before placing a hand on Doyoung’s chest to keep him at bay.
He leant back over the center console, resting his head back against the padded seat. Finished clicking in your seat belt you looked at him.
“When you dress like that,” he began, nodding forward, “guys get the wrong idea.”
“N-”
“Like thinking you’re single and something for them to ogle at,” he added, cutting you off, “You have no idea what kind of sleaze bags were looking at you and what they were thinking-”
His fox-like eyes flickered back to you, taking a moment to glance at the obvious cleavage you’d put on display.
“I dressed up for you- I just… I wanted to feel sexy and make you-”
“Make me what? Upset?”
“No! Proud to be with me- To be attractive to you…”
Raking a hand through his hair he let his gaze fall upon your own.
“Don’t you get it?” he began, jabbing the keys into the ignition, “You’re always attractive to me- I always want you- I’m always proud of you- But I want to be the only one to see.. You don’t deserve them looking at you like that and it makes me sick,” he trailed off, quickly casting his gaze forward as he pulled away from the curb.
You felt a tingle jolt along your spine at his words.
Ten:
He’d been giving you a snarky attitude all day; curt remarks and dismissive glances. Sighing for the final time as he pretended to ignore you, you let your tongue poke at your cheek in annoyance.
“Look at me,” you probed.
His fingers halted before smashing the pause button on his game, tossing the controller aside him on the sofa as he let out his own sigh, his gaze continuing to be fixed upon the TV screen.
“Why are you being like this?”
You hated how beautiful his profile was, the slope of his sharp nose and outline of his soft lips.
“Why won’t you even talk to me?” you added, raising your tone.
“If you want someone to talk to why don’t you ask Taeyong?” he quipped, voice laced with venom.
Huffing in exasperation, you let your hands fall to your hips.
“Are you serious?”
Finally… he turned his dark gaze towards you.
“Yeah,” he nearly shrugged, attitude as petty as ever.
“You’re such a child!” you shouted, unable to control your emotions as you stormed away, frustrated and wanting to cry.
He paused for a moment before standing.
“I’m childish?” he asked, tone brazen and perplexed.
You stopped, turning on your heel-
“Then what?” he questioned, “Is Taeyong the man?”
Before you could spit out a reply he grabbed onto your elbow.
“I’m the only man you should see,” he barked.
“You are my only man…” you murmured, hurt he thought otherwise.
Cupping your face, he pulled you into him, lips messily finding one other before passionately embracing.
Omg I hate this one…
Jaehyun:
Far enough. Was what Jaehyun had been thinking.
His jaw was set, his lips pursing each time his eyes narrowed slightly, causing one of his dimples to gently show.
Sure, it was Taeyong’s birthday, but that didn’t mean he had the right to flirt with you-
“Is that right?” you giggled, after listening to one of Taeyong’s stories.
Your fork idly toyed with the pasta in your dish as you gave Taeyong your attention. The rest of the lunch table seemed chatty, side for Jaehyun whom pouted by your side. His silence was slowly steeling your attention away from Taeyong as you began to worry.
“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment,” you interjected, glancing towards the bathroom.
Your plan was simple, take a break from Taeyong by using the restroom before retuning and turning to Jae to give your attention and ask what was up. As you stood Johnny began speaking to Taeyong, allowing you the perfect cover to escape. As you did, someone snagged you by your belt loop. Your forlorn boyfriend looking up at you with eyes you couldn’t place.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” you whispered, your brows furrowing in concern at his oddness.
He released you, standing himself to follow you.
“Why are you being so weird?” you inquired, rounding a corner with him.
“I’m jealous,” he admitted.
“Wh- How? What’s there to be jealous about?” you stumbled.
Instead of answering or explaining, he cornered you against the wall once the two of you were hidden from sight in the hall of the bathroom.
“Babe,” you began, your voice lowering.
Being under his gaze in such close quarters you felt trapped, trying to think of what he’d want to hear to be reassured. You bit your lip in thought. Warm lips clashed with your own, not too aggressive, nor gently. The breath that had gotten caught in your throat came out as a sigh against his lips as his hands slid from the wall on either side of your shoulders to your hips.
“We can’t do this here,” you nearly whispered, your lips brushing his own in temptation.
Ignoring you, his hasty lips met yours again, causing you to let out a small moan of protest.
“Oh- God-” Ten sputtered, shielding his eyes from the entrance of the hallway as he saw the two of you.
Your fist came in contact with Jae’s pec as he broke away from you.
...When you came back to the table you could feel everyone’s gaze upon the two of you, lowering your gaze in embarrassment as Jaehyun wore a smug grin.
Win:
Cold shoulders were never fun, especially when dealing with your best friend Sicheng. He sat several rows in front of you in the lecture hall instead of beside you, scrolling through his phone and clearly avoiding your texts. You bit your pen cap in annoyance as you stared at the back of his head.
“Maybe they broke up-”
It was a hushed whisper, but you were able to here it.
“Just go talk to her-”
Evidently Sicheng heard it too, his thumb having stopped scrolling and his ears perked.
“Hey,” a gentle voice said, taking the seat beside you.
“H-Hi,” you fumbled, baffled as to why Mark Lee was sitting next to you.
“This seat’s not taken, is it?”
“No,” you enunciated, making sure it was clearly loud enough for Sicheng to hear in an attempt to be petty.
“Cool- Well, uh, there’s this party at Alpha Delta Si later,” he began, “If you wanted to go, you could be my plus one- Honestly, we’ve had this class together all semester and I thought you were cute-”
You were flattered by his invitation, but frat parties weren’t really your scene.
Glancing over his shoulder at the encounter, Sicheng was caught by your gaze.
“Oh- Uh, I’ll have to think about it, parties like that aren’t really my thing-” you declined politely.
“O-Oh,” Mark nodded, retracting to his seat in thought as the professor entered.
The entire lesson you and Sicheng fumed with thoughts of each other, unable to concentrate. The lesson seemed to end in record time, not that you were paying attention.
“So, um, if parties aren’t your thing we could do something like uh... get ice cream, or-”
Once you’d stood to stuff your belongings in your bag, Mark was back at it again. However, your sleeve was yanked by the ever so thoughtful Sicheng, pulling you from the row and tugging you up the stairs of the lecture hall. You stumbled after him dumbly until he shoved the door open with such force you were scared for a moment.
“Stop-” you shot, pulling from his grip.
“Was I interrupting something?” he asked bitterly.
“What the fuck is your problem? I thought you-”
You could feel the gaze of several classmates in the hallway, feeling embarrassed. Behind you, Sicheng saw the door of the lecture hall swing open with none other than Mark and Jeno, his eyes narrowing as he caught Mark’s gaze. Swooping in, his hand clamped over your forearm to pull you to meet his lips, his blunt nails digging into your sweater. He was overwhelming, figure looming over your own, hasty lips pushing against your own, you felt lost in your shock.
Jungwoo:
“Let me up,” you huffed for what felt like the fifth time.
A hum of disapproval left the boy who’d constricted himself around you.
“Woo- I’ll be late for my shift...” you tried, sighing to yourself.
“Don’t go,” he murmured.
“I have to go- My supervisor will be mad if I’m late again...”
“Your supervisor,” he began, sitting up, his fluff of hair bouncing, unfit of his narrowing eyes, “I don’t like him.”
“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not-”
You struggled in his hold, but he draped a leg over your hips to bar your escape, hugging you closer.
“He’s creepy.”
“Yeah, he is,” you agreed with an airy chuckle, “But that doesn’t matter, I need to keep my wage-”
Rolling on top of you, you let out a whine under his weight. Cutely, he blew the hair out of your face, not daring to remove his hands from wrapped around you for fear of you escaping. You giggled and writhed at his actions, shaking the hair from your face. He plopped a soft kiss upon your lips, smothering your own before drawing back momentarily.
“Don’t go.”
His lips didn’t give yours time to spit out a retort, softly melding with yours with passion. Had it been any other day or any other occasion, you would have skipped whatever event there was to stay with him, but you couldn’t miss today... Shaking your head to shake his lips off your own, he groaned against your lips, unrelenting. You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of anguish against his lips, following it with a low whine. He bit your lip in retaliation gently, shifting on top of you as you squealed and wiggled beneath him.
“You’re being childish,” you gasped, nostrils flaring with the need for air.
Lucas:
“Baby-”
Yukhei’s deep voice reverberated through your being as his lips brushed your ear.
“Why are you watching that?”
In your defense, you hadn’t searched for it, rather it was in your suggestions and you just so happened to be curious by the amount of views it had. A Doyoung, Boss focus cam- Nor were you expecting your friend-with-benefits to be up so early... He usually slept well past ten.
“I couldn’t sleep,” you partially lied.
“Do you like him?”
“Uh,” you stalled, glancing over your bare shoulder, “It’s not like I know him-”
“I mean,” he corrected, “Do you think he’s sexy?”
Your expression morphed into one of confusion at his most likely horny what-the-fuckery.  If you said yes would he set up a threesome?
“Yeah.”
A warm hand slid over your bare arm, trailing to your shoulder before moving to your throat. He didn’t like that answer- Though the two of you weren’t official, he had real feelings for you- Which is why he called you baby, and told you to stay the night when you’d start searching for your clothes the night before...
“What about me?” he groaned gently.
Dropping your phone aside, you rolled over to your side, your hand going to his wrist to stop the growing pressure he applied.
“Yeah, you’re sexy,” you rolled your eyes, knowing he was immaturely jealous.
“Am I sexier?”
He drew you closer, his nose brushing against your own as he awaited your answer.
“I’m not sure,” you teased, withholding a giggled at how his eyes widened.
He let out a chuckle too, able to catch onto your teasing attitude.
“I must be since I’m the one with you and not him,” he muttered with a smile, rolling over on top.
His lips claimed your own in an arduously slow kiss, his hand fumbling to reach over and turn off your phone.
Mark:
Alone, in bed, on his phone- Mark’s evening was rather bland. He’d been on a call with you while you’d been getting ready to come over, content with just listening to your voice.
“Why do you take so long to get ready?” he questioned with a sigh, “Just come over already.”
“I have to look good,” you countered, “You said Johnny was home...”
And here it was, the recent reason for Mark’s despise of Johnny Suh, one of his closest friends.
“Bro- So what... You’re coming over to see me, not him-”
That was true-
“Yeah, but if I do see him-”
“Whatever, just hurry up,” Mark complained, his tone snappish as he hung up.
It was hard getting friend-zoned, let alone having the girl you like be into your best friend instead.
Fifteen minutes later you were checking your reflection on your phone before the door, collecting yourself before ringing the doorbell.
Answering it, Mark felt his heart clench- You looked ridiculously cute, glossy lips, curled lashes, slight wind-blown hair, and the oversized Puma hoodie you’ d bought last week to match your leggings. He wish you were getting all dolled up for him, causing a pang of jealousy to stab him.
“I’ll pay for delivery since you paid last time,” you remarked, stepping through the doorway to remove your shoes as your eyes searched for the giant of your affection.
Yet he was nowhere in sight... Making your way to Mark’s room with your bag, dropping it to his bed and plugging your phone into his charger. You heard the distinct sound of the refrigerator opening, bottles rattling- Perhaps it was Johnny. Turning on your heel, you planned upon seeing whom it was, but a Mark Lee was blocking your path, having just entered the threshold of his room.
“Lemme see,” you pried, your brows furrowing as he closed the door behind himself.
“It’s Taeil,” he lied, knowing what you were after.
You still wanted to check for yourself, even give the senior a greeting.
“Uh, let me through,” you paused as Mark remained in his spot.
“Why’s it always go to be about him?”
“I- What do you-”
“You know what I mean,” he interjected, raising his voice, “All of a sudden everything’s about him-”
“That’s not true,” you tried, folding your arms defensively.
“Yes it is,” he retorted, taking a step toward you, his bad attitude and mood nearly radiating off his figure, “We can’t even hang out like we used to because you’re always preoccupied with him-”
“I can’t help that I like him!” you shot back.
It took only another step and Mark was in front of you, his hands flying to grip your shoulders as his nose brushed yours for only a millisecond- You couldn’t contemplate what was taking place and before it registered, his lips were on your own, sticky lip gloss transferring.
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Hey guysss
I had a dream with TIMMY in it. Like timmy timmssss, lmao. And i kept telling my self “eh its too insignificant to write about” but now i feel soft about it idk.
Theres not much i remember, we were in a school like setting. (I have been dreaming about school/classrooms lately) but its weird cause it was more highschooly to me. Anyway, there was this geometry/physics/math class that I was in. And....idk why but i had been gone like a week or two. So i was anxious about having to catch up since i didnt understand. THEN i was sitting in class and timothy fucking chalamet in all his glory comes in and is introduced to the class as like a student teacher? Or a tutor like he was kinda teaching the class lmao. 
Heres the weird thing. I cannot tell if he was timothy chalamet. Like he was verrrryyy much timmy tims. Like that was him in the flesh and everything. Not a vessel ACTUALLY HIM. But i cant tell if he was famous? Or why he was teaching my class. 
It made it more confusing bc that was just one of my classes like, in another one! Homeboy was in it as a regular student and sat close to me or whatever. And he was so cute, and charming but also silllyyyyy. Like you know that pic on my blog thats him and with a rock sign or middle finger up and hes wearing a blue hoodie and his hair is long and hes like grimacing with his teeth? He looked like that, and if that pic had a personality, that was it in the dream. Like his hair was so long and he was just so carefree and cool but also silly. 
So i saw him kindaaa being a silly class clown in my one class and he mightve said a couple words to me. And i was like haha. Like i wanted him to talk to me more. 
So then later somehow, I’m with my bff and shes needs to talk to him for something. And god knows why, but i just wanted to prove to her that i have a few classes with him and have already talked with him before. Maybe he was famous? Anyway, so i kinda made up that he had been bugging me and that hes just an annoying goofball. When in reality i thought he was funny and i really liked him and he had BARELY talked to me. 
So quickly i had to put my money where my mouth is because the three of us were talking and i had to pretend like we had already gotten aquainted. It ended up working out for me REALLY well bc he was so down to be friends with me so fast and suddenly we were cracking jokes and to my bff it looked like we were just cool. So then we all started talking all the time like the three of us became a little group and it was soooooooooo cuteee i loved it. Then i asked him about helping me with that one class and he was like “oh the one with mrs blah blah blah yea shes so annoying i hate that class ughh” and i was like....okay but dont you kinda teach it, like can you help me?” and when he realized i needed help he was like oh yea sure thats lightwork and i remember feeling so good about that like i could finally feel assured. 
So then somehow later, i was at his house for some reason, and he got in an argument with his parents or someone who lived there and he stormed off so he told me lets just driveeeeeee. And i was loving it, like idk i really liked being close to him. I thought he was cute, he was so funny and now he was being rebellious and passionate. Like “i just wanna fuck shit up and just ride in our car tonight” it was very 400 Luxy and a teenage fantasy of mine. The vibe was very 40 lux like it was kinda rainy and fall, and calm and mild. V cozy weather. 
Anway again, we were driving away and this is my only evidence that i think he couldve been theee timmy chalamet like famous and all. Because i started having thoughts like omg? I cannot believe im FRIENDS with timmy. Like my bff and I this is perfect. Like we’re those people who you always see in the back of celeb instagram lives or something and is like wow imagine being there hometown or close friends who arent famous. Like i was feeling surreal and like happy that i was getting close to him and we were breaking the boudary of just school/proximity friends.
So finally we’re driving away, it kinda felt like leaving aunty abbys coldesac and hes talking about what we can do. And he’s like “we can go pick up (my bff) and if shes not there we can just go back to my place and make out” 
UMM WHATTTTT. LIKE LITERALLY WHAT. Lmaoo and i just played it off like, “yea sounds good.” And acted like it was completely normal cause he was so nonchalant about it omfg. First off i was still on a high that i was in a car hanging out with timmy chal and HIS suggestion was that we go pick up my bestfriend, i felt so lucky. But then he said the second part and i was like woahhhhhhhh. Like i was DOWN. But he had not shown an ounce that he was interested in me. Like i liked him obv cause hes hot like hes TIMMY. But i jsut thought we were friends so it was so crazy that he was like yea we can go make out. And said that shit with a straight face, as if we were dating. Like whattt?? Also making that an activity like felt like we were sixteen lmao. What even was this. 
This was the last thing i remember but i remember not knowing if i wanted my bff to be there when we go to her house or not but regardless i was preparing to kiss him and trying so hard to be chill about it. AHHH. Also....i was wearing that new red shirt i got, so .....i see signs 
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shakespearean-tc · 5 years
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Teacher Crush Background
Originally posted March 29th, 2019 Some background on me and A.
I know that like, I haven’t known him for 2 or 3 years like others in the community, but… I dunno I really needed to get my story out because keeping this in is so hard
He started teaching at my high school around late January. He’s small for a guy, like 5′ 5-6″. I’m almost 5′ 10″ so??? theres an issue haha but hes adorable. We’re 6 years apart? Does this even matter? Who knows.
Anyway, he began as our student teacher and I seriously thought that he was such a dork at the beginning. It was an endearing thought, but he seemed so quirky? Which isn’t a bad thing but he had sO MuCH ENERGy. hes a millenial so like he knows all of the memes and vines and omg i just- Yeah. He’s a good teacher and he’s gone through some rough stuff, but he’s just??? Such a wonderful guy.
Eventually, I found out he was a huge nerd? i was just talking about Legend of Zelda with my friend and he just literally like I swear to god, his ears perked up and he was like “Yo were you just talking about Majora’s Mask?” And i was like “Uh wow, yeah i was how tf did you-” “OMG I LITERALLY LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH ITS MY FAVORITE”
But I guess??? I’ll just like share some times when I really was like “omg i think i have a crush” because why tf not i dunno what the heck im doing
1- This is like 2 weeks in since he’s been teaching us. We were doing an exercise so that we could work on our natural reactions, yeah? You would say a word and the other people in your group would answer with the first word that came to mind. Because in theatre, it’s really difficult to fake a genuine reaction to something and also because improvisation my dudes
But anyhow, I was bored and I just kinda was like “Trauma.” And my friend, E, goes, “PTSD” and then my other friend just yells “TYLER” and A just leaped up and was like “CONCERN?!??!?!” and so he just walked over and we were laughing so hard i could hardly breathe, but he just looked at us, slightly concerned, and my friend made some stupid comment, I cant even remember what it was but i started laughing even harder that i snORTED and he looked at me and I just went bright red and he started laughing SO HARD THAT HE WAS ALMOST CRYING and we finally calmed down and i just kinda mumbled “omg i hate my laugh that was awful” and he just smiled at me and was like “Hey, don’t. it’s real and it’s an awesome laugh. i love it.”
2- This was probably about a month in or so. Middle of February. He started out coming to class dressed like?? Really nice, and hes got long hair so he always wore it in a ponytail. He was in like slacks and dress shirt, tie, etc, etc. I always thought it was kinda cute, but then one day, out of the blue- He shows up to class with his hair down, jeans, sneakers, a zelda shirt and this really nice leather jacket- i swear to god he walked into class and i like glanced up from my sketchbook and had to do a friggin double take??? He looked like a different man??? but he looked so much more comfortable like jeez wow he looked so nice, and now he dresses like this all the time
3- One day after class, i was packing up my stuff, and it was just me and him in the classroom. out of the blue he started coughing really hard and really bad and i like dropped everything and was like “OmG ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED HELP” and he just kinda shook his head, and drank some water. after a minute he turned to me, and was like “No, im ok, im okay” and i was like “okay, but??? are you sure??? that scared me” and he sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and said “listen, idk if ill tell the rest of the class, but… you cant tell anyone about this because its embarrassing.” and i was here thinking “wtf is it??” and he says “I have Cystic fibrosis (ill refer to this as CF later on in my blog posts at some points).” and i looked at him all weird and was like “what is that” and he tells me “its hard to explain but basically my lungs dont work right and its hard for me to breathe a lot of the time.” and i just “how come ive never heard of it?” He says “Its really rare. its a life threatening disease, and i dont like to tell many people about it because i feel like they treat me like im delicate and fragile, and i dont want to be treated like that. please don’t tell anyone else.” and i smiled softly and nodded. “Okay I won’t. Just… let me know if you need help.” He smiled at me. “Thanks M. Will do. Have a good day.”
4- In late February. We were working on memorising our scenes that we had written and one of the other groups had just finished theirs. it was a very sad scene and he was like “Ouch, right in my feels. good job guys.” And he started walking out of the room, when one of the girls was talking to me and said “yeah, were gonna have her die in the end” and by now, A is out of the room, but i hear like a very soft thumpthumpthumpthump and he runs back into the room and yells “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS” and runs out, leaving the rest of us dying of laughter. (another time me and my friend were quoting vines and she goes “say colorado!” and he runs up behind up and just “IM A GIRAFFE”)
We’re really good friends, always talking after class and sharing jokes. He sometimes rants with me after school.
I guess this last one is when I realised I was… almost falling in love with him. I know it sounds so silly, but idk its nice to finally be able to say it.
This was the 1st of March. It was the night we were performing our scenes, and there was like 100-150 people in the audience. I have bad stage fright, but what you need to know is that I had a boyfriend a few years back who killed himself, and sometimes I see people that look like him, and i almost get… triggered?? Idk how to explain it but i break down. Anyway, we were backstage and I was helping one of the groups carry off their props when, for some reason, I looked out into the audience and I froze. Because in my eyes, there was a man sitting there that looked identical to my dead boyfriend. I started to shake, and I dropped the prop I was holding. Luckily the lights were almost completely out, so the audience could hardly see anything. My friend grabbed me and the prop and dragged me off stage. I got out into the hall next to the theatre and i just stood there, like a deer in headlights. the hall was almost completely empty, and my friend was like “are you alright?” i told her i was fine, and that I just needed a minute. she went back into the theatre to watch the other groups perform. i was alone in the hall now, and everything hit me like a brick. i began to get really dizzy and i started to lean against the wall. every time i closed my eyes, all i saw was that man, and i started to sob. i was shaking and i felt like i was going to die. i was already really anxious about our scene, and i was hitting the wall with my fist because i was kinda mad at myself. my boyfriend had been dead for about a year, and i got so upset with myself when i thought about it because i blamed myself for everything and i felt stupid because he’d been gone for so long. my knuckles started to bleed and thats when I heard the backstage door shut and I whipped my head around to see A there. I quickly tried to wipe away my tears and pretend like I was fine. He looked at me, and the rest went as such:
A: “M? What’s the matter? Why are you crying? Are you okay?” Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine. Peachy. I’m great.”
I laughed and I wiped more tears from my eyes, but the salt started to sting my bleeding knuckles. I hissed in pain, and his eyes widened. He grabbed my hand.
A: “M? What… Why are your knuckles bleeding? You’re- You’re crying. You’re obviously not alright.”
I laughed again, shaking my head.
Me: “No. I’m fine.” A: “Your knuckles are bleeding. You are NOT fine. Please. Tell me. What’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, and I heard the other door open. The other group must’ve been finished with their scene. Some of the other kids began filing out and I tried to make it look like I hadn’t been crying.
“Excuse me?” I heard someone ask.
A and I both turned around. And lo, and behold. That man. was right there. I dont know his name. i know nothing about him. but he was a spitting image of my boyfriend. “Do you know when (name of my classmate) is performing her scene? She’s my younger sister, and I’ve got to get home soon, but I don’t want to miss it.” He informed us.
I turned around again, trying not to freak out while A told him that they would be on stage soon. The man went back into the theatre, along with my classmates. I was choking back tears and A must’ve noticed. A: “M? Are you sure you’re okay? You look like a deer in headlights.” Me: “Who is he? I- I don’t want to see him again, he looks like- like-” At this point in time, I couldn’t hold much back. I began to cry all over again and A sat me down against the wall. I told him everything. I told him about my boyfriend, the suicide, my anxiety, how I was so scared to get on stage, and that I couldn’t handle seeing that man. I told him all of it. When I was done, he reached for his shirt collar and pulled out a locket. He opened it, showing it to me. A: “Do you see her?” There was a young woman in the photo with A, and they were both laughing.
Me: “She’s pretty. Who is she?” A: “My sister. She passed away from CF when I was 16. I wear this locket to remind me of her and how she was one of the only people who believed in me, especially when no one else did. Everyday, it keeps me strong, and reminds me that I can go through hard things and make it out alright in the end. Now, I want you to listen closely. First of all, your boyfriend’s suicide was NOT your fault, okay? No matter what. It was his decision, and I know that he wouldn’t want you to spend your entire life blaming yourself for something he chose. Second, you have no reason to be scared on stage. I’ve seen you trying so hard to get your lines memorised and become this character. You’re such an amazing actress and you’ve no reason to feel uneasy. Stage fright is hard. It really is.” He grabbed my hands at this point. “But you are AMAZING. And you are going to be so wonderful up there on stage. I have faith in you M.”
I swallowed, and nodded, wiping my eyes. He stood up, and helped me stand up. A: “Now c’mon. Let’s go see if we can find some bandaids for your hands.” We both went to the classroom, found some bandaids and cleaned off my hands. When it came time for our scene, he wished me good luck. For once, I felt confident. I felt like I was alright. After the entire show was over, we were cleaning up the stage. My friends were waiting outside for me by my car and I went over to A. He set down the prop he was holding and turned to me, smiling. A: “You were great! I told you that you could do it!” Me: “Thanks A. I just wanted to let you know that tonight meant a lot to me. I was really upset and anxious, but you made me feel a lot better. You’re a great teacher, and I’m so glad that you’re with us.” He smiled really big. A: “Thanks M. That means a lot to me. You have a lot of potential, and I love talking with you. Have a good night.” I bid him farewell, and since then? Things have been different. We’re… friends, I suppose. We talk after class more often, we have intellectual discussions over email, we share an emotional bond. I guess that’s when I really realised I was basically in love with him. He’s one of the only people in my life who I can feel completely comfortable around, someone that I trust with basically everything. He makes me feel special and of worth, and I know it all sounds so silly, but I really adore him. Thanks for reading this whole big long post, i guess
i really like the tcc community to be honest, even though im remotely new to it. a lot of people seem really cool if you ever want to rant to me or just talk, im here to listen!
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swearronchanel · 7 years
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BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 6.07
AHHH OMG, I was out all day & Actually MISSED the NEW episode like wtfff?!!? it was TOrture!! & I literally had to delete twitter and Tumblr off my phone because the devil himself would’ve tempted me lmfao😭 I love spoilers but not when everyone has seen the episode but me! it’s okay though I had some rum chata to distract me lol, which is just rum and horchata which is the Hispanic version of Horlicks so, At least I was in the CtM Spirit 🙃
Anyway I’m finally getting to watch it so here we go ..
shit I’m so nervous and I haven’t pressed play
why is my heart beating so fast omg
i usually skip the intro but I’m legit not ready
PHYLLIS !! 💕
damn Vanessa already hinting at what’s to come
Baby Susan so precious omg!!
No lie one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen lots of ugly babies and lots of cute babies, I’m qualified to judge.
“Courage and resilience will matter most of all” 😭😭ahh omg
My spirit animal and campion Phyllis deserves nothing but the best I’m not ready to see her hurt
SHELAGH GETTING EXAMINED 😭😭💕💕 MY HEART IS BURSTING & her belly is so big omg!
CRYING SHE STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS HAPPENING ME EITHER BBY 😭 like holy shit I’m still not over it.
But I’m going to binge series 6 with my mother when I’m home Saturday and can’t wait for her to watch because she wanted to see shelagh have a baby & also she doesn’t know what tf has happened 😭😭😂 it’s been a crazy series! She will be s h o o k
“I know I’m just not a very relaxed sort of person” SAME but BBY RELAX 😭💕
LOL I WOULDNT HAVE READ IT EITHER
That was a cute moment with Babs and Shelagh!! But still wish it was w/ Trixie though 🙁 also it didn’t seem like a “heart to heart”? was it supposed to or was I expecting too much
Aw Rhoda 💔
what a ignorant ass teacher though, I’ll  FIGHT HER REAL QUICK
BOY OR GIRL??? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW UGH WHAT IS BABY TURNER??!
ugh Shelagh and Patrick’s faces 😫 I hope they don’t feel guilty for having a baby
But also why does shelagh have to keep wearing the same things lol, I feel cheated of all the cute maternity looks she could’ve served instead
“Having to explain” poor Mrs Antoine UGH THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY, THERE’S NOTHING TO BE EXPLAINED   I’m mixed, Hispanic and white not black and white but still my dad is tan & we’ve been places where people have given my parents the dirtiest looks and have heard a nasty comment or two & it BOILS MY BLOOD
Omg the Antoine boys are precious
TRIXIE 😍😍 my bby looks good!
PHYLLIS IN TROUSERS HELL YES
UM VALARIE CAN U NOT BE RACIST
I swear if she says anything more I’ll lose my shit
“No one can really choose who they fall in love with” BLESS U DEELS
Bless Phyllis for making sure those cubs don’t grow up to be as ignorant as their parents
“I surmise the puller of teeth is intended to admire it” SISTER MJ IS A GEM
LOL SISTER J WANTS HIM TO COME THROUGH
SISTER WINIFRED WITH ANOTHER PRICELESS FACE IM DEAD
A bassoon? Lmaoo what the actual fuck Tim
Oh it’s for girls ofc LOL give him a girlfriend already, I’d get such a kick out of it. & Patrick could make another dad joke and say like take a lesson from me I legit beat God over a woman’s heart
The Mullucks fam 😭
Patrick with Susan omg aww
Trixie looking like a b a b e I’m dead 😍
“You’ll look like you’re trying to hard” DELIA HAHA OMG SHE GETS LIKE ONE MIN OF SCREEN TIME BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS GOOD LINES
I need Trixie’s everything, no joke. HOW
But I’m dying my hair blonder this week don’t play
Ah my bby shelagh again 😍💕
I feel so sorry for Patrick like this wasn’t your fault
LMAO SISTER WINIFRED CANT CONCENTRATE IN COMPLINE  SHE IS ANNOYINGLY PRECIOUS
She’s scared to take her driving test aw 😂😂 same like I have my permit but I’m scared to fail the actual driving test
“Oh I have a soft spot for the Antoines” PHYLLIS TIENE UN GRAN COROZON 😭
Omg Mr and Mrs Antoine are so cute too, dios te bendiga 😰
Christopher being a flake wtf no me gusta
Sister W is in on the drama like Sister B was, am I right??
LMAO HER RUN
Prosthetics are so wild, my abuelo has a prosthetic leg and I was so interested when he first got it. But also I’m going to hell for being evil because I joke around way too much when he’s extra senile
“People call my kids hair frizzy, but I think it’s beautiful” MY HEART😭💔 literally my mom was the same with me. Defensive over my curls - even tho my hair is frizzy sometimes😭
The song though, took me a second to process but that’s my bby shelagh’s song ?? Ummm wut
lol sister Winifred hella late, let me guess this will make her want to drive?
this prosthetic place is so great wow omg
damn it Bernie
PHYLLIS LOVES THIS FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM ALL OMG 😭😭
GET THE RUM ! or I will lol
ah never mind
LOL SISTER W AGAIN & PHYLLIS SHAKING HER HEAD
the question is, does/has sister Winifred drink/drank ? she seems like a light weight
fuck is this when it’s gonna happen
I’M NOT READY DAMN IT
damn Bernie..
UGH MY HEART IS RACING IM SO ANXIOUS AND SCARED AHJXKWLXM
HOLY SHIT OMGGGG
THAT WAS SO HARD AHH OMGG
IM FUCKING SCREAMING
Phyllis is in shock o h m y g o d
I can’t process this either
OMG I CANT DEAL
PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, IM SOBBING WTFFFF OMGG 😭😰😰😰💔💔💔
MY FUCKING HEART
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OMG
AW SISTER W ASWELL UGH WTF I SHOULDNT FEEL SO MUCH
LMAO OMG THANK U FOR COMIC RELIF
TIM SUCKS LMAO stick to the damn piano boy
PATRICK AND SHELAGH GIGGLING OMG MY HEART IS OKAY NOW 😭😭💕💕
SHELAGH AND PATRICK BEING SO CUTE IM CRYING
DAMN THALIDOMIDE
DAMN THAT CAR UGH  
DAMN IT ALL
LOW FUCKING BLOW BERNIE THAT WAS NOT HER FAULT
BABS TRYING TO COMFORT PHYLLIS  IM CRYING AGAIN
SHE IS SO HURT, I AM SO HURT, IM A BLOODY MESS OF TEARS. IM SOBER AND SAD NOW & THERE’S MASCARA In MY CONTACT LENS & MY 3yr OLD GREMLIN LITTLE COUSIN IS KICKING ME (lol he’s laying next to me)
AND CARRIE CRYING NOW OMGGG NO LENNY WONT DIE STOP
“That lovely gp of yours” lol does everyone have a crush on Dr Turner but me? Lol don’t come @ me pls I’m sorry I know people love him 😭😭 Im here for Christopher and Tom But He is handsome, just in an older man way Lmaoo guess it’s cause he could be my dad 😂 lol he’s older than my dad
I’d take him as a sugar daddy real quick though. I need my tuition paid and he is so sweet😏 😭😂
So it was a scarf, hmm I thought trixie was gonna find like stockings or something
“Not Hermès but something very like it” lol how does Trixie know what Hermès feels like on a nurses salary?
Valarie is on my nerves & she’s had like 2 mins of screen time Lmaoo I’ve liked her until this episode. I hope they don’t ruin her for me
“But I’m a member of the institute of advanced motorists”  UGH PHYLLIS IS A GEM WHO DOES NOT DESERVE THIS !! SHE IS THERE FOR EVERYONE ALWAYS, SHE ALWAYS DOES GOOD WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO HER?
Aw Sister Winifred
Oh Rhoda 💔💔she’s such a great mother
MY HEART, THEY WERE WALKING AWAY FROM BEING TEASED
BLAME THE RACISTS, IT IS ALWAYS A VALID BLAME
YES PHYLLIS IS A GOOD WOMAN! 😭😭
Tom trying to comfort Phyllis😭😭
“You’re fond of your meat, and our views on God and His existence are divergent to say the least, but we both follow vocations…. so if you caused harm to someone else, even inadvertently would it not make you question what everything in your life has come to stand for?” I’m c r y i n g
“I, a rational woman, have no one to question but myself” 😭💔
IM REALLY HURT
“Sometimes cheering people on the sidelines doesn’t help”
my bby killing it 😍
Why you being a flake Christopher? go ahead man tell her about your kid
BRUH YOU DONT TELL HER LIKE THAT LMAO
he’s divorced ah, thought it was out of wedlock. I don’t care though haha
NO DRINKS FOR TRIXIE, TELL HIM BBY.. in your own time of course 💕
BABY SUSAN SO PRECIOUS
Fred brought her car ugh And Phyllis is still so hurt as am I 💔
This lady is so sweet! I hope she and Rhoda become friends right now
DID SHE TAKE DISTIVAL TOO?
lol wait where are the Turners I miss them??
“.. and the words ‘Nonnatus house this is not a midwife speaking’ are most unlikely to reassure the caller” SISTER MJ!
YES SHE DID OMG. I need them to be best friends omg 💔😭
“Nothing was said, nothing was done” 💔💔
PHYLLIS LOOKING AT THE CAR
SISTER MJ IS GOING WITH HER MY HEART OMG
my heart my heart
aw the mullucks'😭 ofc IT WASNT YOUR FAULT!
SISTER MJ IS A GEM 💕😭 & PHYLLIS IS JUMPING BACK IN
TWO GEMS 😭💕 but also if this was the birth they meant that sister MJ was involved in ill be lowkey sad, but we shall see next week if she’s randomly with Shelagh when she delivers
Trixie serving more looks 😍
Aw my bby 💔does she tell him about her alcoholism at the end of this ?
Also what are we guessing about Valarie rn?? she has a secret? tragic backstory to be unlocked? what ? She gay?
Aw the mulluks’s again! All so sweet💕 & YES LYDIA BE FRIENDS
ugh Christopher looks good af😍 and that car yes
YES TRIXIE 😍 my girl looking good as well
SHE TOLD HIM 😭 IM CRYING IM SO PROUD 😭😭💕💕WHY DO I FEEL SO PROUD FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER??! I love her
Oh shit Patsy’s dad is dead. I assumed that was coming
Phyllis reassuring Delia awww
PHYLLIS BACK AT THE CUBS 😭 MY CHAMPION AND SPIRIT ANIMAL BOUNCING BACK
Lenny’s speech omg brb crying
The support group for thalidomide victims omg my heart
I was cryin before and now I’m crying more for this Irish lady
Omg side side side note there was this cute old interracial couple that seem like my parents in 20yrs in JFK yesterday that were so precious and sweet and we’re talking to me the whole time waiting at the gate & then there was this sweet Irish couple who were confused about the time difference and I helped them out and then when we landed they helped me out looking for my bag so now I have much more faith in humanity because usually the people in NYC airports are angry new yorkers who don’t care lol like me (jk)
“There’s no rule of life so simple or so true ..” 😭😢💔💖
Thank u Vanessa I’m so emotional, show me next week 
Bonus: next week
OMG PHYLLIS HUGGING SHELAGH OMGGG. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED TO SEE THIS
PHYLLIS BETTER DELIVER THE BABY I KNOW I WANTED TRIXIE BUT IT DOESNT SEEN LIKELY AND SO INEED PHYLLIS (sister J too ofc?! She was barely in this past episode)
MY BBY SHELAGH’S TUMMY IS SO BIG IN HER UNIFORM OMG SHE’S SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HER I MISSED HER THIS PAST EPISODE
BUT OH MY GOD BABY TURNER IS COMING HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HERE COMES THE PILL READY OR NOT #LETSGETIT1962
Lol oh shoot I didn’t take mine yesterday or today brb
AW DELIA
WHAT IS SIGNIFICANT ABOUT BABS SLEEPING I NEED TO KNOW
Lol idk why but even though I like Tom and Babs their relationship just doesn’t do anything for me😂😂 like I don’t give a shit? They’re cute but idk it doesn’t cut it. Like they’re just there and I’m like “aw ok”
OMG I CANT WAIT WHAT WILL HAPPEN ?! I NEED ANSWERS
I will die next week. For real. 
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