#her sister was married at 17 not bad right? except the husband was 24 :/// the parents approved of this etc etc

[bahrmp3]

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#the girl i go home with twice / week revealed disturbing family history and im not sure how to proceed from ehre :/// #her sister was married at 17 not bad right? except the husband was 24 :/// the parents approved of this etc etc #the worst worst part? apprently they were engaged when she 13! 🤮 and he officially 'married her' when she was 16 🤮🤮🤮🤮 #lit the moement she turned legal that man married her and my friend was talking about it like 'his family truly wanted to get together; #with my family nd they looked for the oldest daughter for their son' 🤮🤮🤮🤮 #personal

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

23 April 2023 sSunday ☀️ 11:06 am pt

11:07 am pt

Q did point me in the direction of getting help for my learning disability. But I think 💭 she might have used it as confirmation that she could take advantage of me and gas ⛽️ light 💡 me more. Alike to Nick carter premeditated rape of an autistic 17 year old female Bcz incubus approved like he told garrido. 11:09 am pt same god. Talking to all 3. 11:10 am pt they have no shame. They justified it. Is that a “ki” Japanese character tattooed on Carter’s shoulder? Ki like keying a car 🚗? Keys 🔑 to life and death ☠️. Hades. Be hat i. 11:12 am pt time can never mend careless whispers of a “good” friend. There’s no comfort in the truth. Pain is all you’ll find. I’m never going to dance 💃🏻 again. 🎶🎼🎵🎤🎧🎸 11:13 am pt

11:36 am pt Instagram. Com/p/WXBue5HMXO/ Maru music? Ammar Malik 11:38 am pt

11:40 songs not music

12:29 pmpt my youngest sister blocked me from texting 💬 her. A lot of people spontaneously stopped messaging me on Facebook when I wrote to them in 2019. My aunt wouldn’t open a letter I wrote to convince her daughter in 2015 not to trust random people online Bcz of my experience with “Brendan” cramps 12:33 pm pt and my cousin didn’t open it either. She deleted it. My aunt seemed afraid 😱. Incubus did bad stuff to my aunt and her husband abandoned her in a time of need and he blamed her as if she did something to deserve what the incubus did to her. I don’t think 💭 she did anything wrong 😑 except marry him Bcz he’s a d*ck. She had 3 of his children 👶. And he made the children 👶 do a lot of labor. 12:37 pmpt there’s nothing wrong with them working a little, but he intentionally neglected them all when he neglected her. Left foot 🦶 bone 🦴 pain. All the children 👶 are very good I think 💭. He did not fix the air conditioning I think 💭 is what I heard. Right foot 🦶 arch pain 12:40 pmpt He’s now remarried and had more children 👶. 12:41 pmpt 12:42 pm pt I feel like I am at a dead ☠️ end. My sister won’t come to see us and she is still avoiding talking to me on my phone ☎️. 12:43 pmpt I have been abandoned like Uriah in battlefield. Incubus really did love 💗 king 🤴 David. Does not matter what he did as long as he loves incubus. 12:45 pmpt now my aunt has a nice house 🏠 Bcz my uncle is a jerk. 12:47 pm pt

12:48 pmpt incubus is an actor. If he did have phone ☎️ s*x with me he I guess was very detached and will do it with any one. It didn’t matter to him like it mattered to me in 2001, but it didn’t meet all my needs so since 2016? The romance and magic 🪄 of those times that I clinged to for years like gatsby died when I was confronted with his cruelty and selfish behavior (left hip bone 🦴 pain 12:54 pmpt) in 2016. When I watched the voice starting October 8? 2016 sometime after that the incubus said “I’m with Brendan.” To me he was saying Lean. On the voice people only knew of Brendan singing 🎵 true colors 🎧 song. Fletcher? Was it? 12:57 pmpt

1:06 pmpt everyone is ignoring me. Leaving me to die. 1:07 pm pt. I think 💭 incubus doesn’t need me and wants me to die. He wants me to commit suicide. He toyed 🧸 with me to make me neglect myself. Bcz my sister won’t talk to me I felt that I have to commit suicide. 1:10 pm pt (left heel left hip joint pain 1:11 pmpt. I only have mom and she is not great. Complained about health 😞. 1:12 pmpt jordi died. What does that mean for me? 1:13 pmpt he’s really into all the younger women for himself. It’s no joke or lie. 1:14 pmpt

1:19 pmpt incubus burned scorched right lower side. Hurts. Probably meant to kill me with starvation. Been doing it for many months, since last year. 1:21 pmpt. He put me in this weird position to be rejected 🙅‍♀️. Scott did not even express interest in having children 👶 at all to me. But he is probably doing very well. Dating teens. 1:23 pmpt left ankle pain. I feel now literally incubus has no intention to be kind to me ever. He hurt me first. 1:24 pmpt

2 pmpt my anus area was burned with acid very harshly. I found out it is completely bloody 🩸. It is as bad as it felt. 2:01 pmpt wow. I’m in shock. I should not be but I am. Denial denial denial all the time. I try not to be. Don’t worry ammar, it seems you were far more valuable to incubus than I am Bcz he needs someone to kill a lot of people for him. I was so naïve. That we could bring down the population in a peaceful way. Like March madness matches. Only one kid per family. But I guess some people really are better than others? Should we kill off all the men except for the 100 💯 sexiest alive? And all take turns with them? So the population starts looking homogeneous? We can all start to look 👀 alike like agent smith? In the matrix? We can all be agent smith in the future!? 2:07 pmpt then incubus woul have tattoo everyone on the face Bcz we all start to look 👀 alike. 2:08 pmpt maybe then he will get tired of (acid throat pain 2:08 pmpt) seeing the same face (acid throat pain 2:08 pmpt) and start changing our faces Bcz he misses the old varied faces. 2:09 pmpt

2:11 pmpt on tv 📺 maybe 2 weeks ago it said 1.2 million women go into menopause I forgot how often , maybe annually? 2:12 pmpt what’s accurate? Sounds like a lot of women. 2:12 pmpt chest pain 2:13 pmpt. Why was I born? To be unhappy ? I was born to be unloved and in desolation. Born to be a sacrifice to appease an evil 🦹‍♂️ river god of s*x? Dugard said she was made to believe that she was a sacrifice that saved all the other little girls. That she was a hero. What happened to her I consider bad. But god wants me to think it’s good. I can feel that. 2:16 pmpt if dugard knew everyone in the world 🌎 saw a reality knew a reality she didn’t know existed and in that reality everyone judged her to be a villain 🦹‍♀️ so they justified what happened to her so they can go on with their lives not caring about her, how would that shatter her? That people have justified her rape? Including god? Incubus? To everyone else behind her back only to be revealed during the apocalypse? 2:18 pmpt awful. Sh*tty. Undeserving. 2:28 pmpt 2:19 pmpt neck pain sharp

2:47 pmpt I have been left alone to figure out that that utopia is not doable? Even if it involves probably being close to what it is now only a limit placed on family/offspring count. 2:48 pmpt

2:49 pmpt if there’s no crime and illness then we would have more time for dating and being sure? 2:50 pmpt

3:11 pmpt stinging hot acid pain right butt cheek. Left brow bone 🦴 pain again and again. Maybe it happened already???? Aagent smith. Matrix. 3:12 pmpt

5:22 pmpt my experience is that I can’t force anyone to do what they don’t want to. Women can’t have s*x w/ a man who doesn’t want to? Hypothesis. Can’t do it if p*nis is limp? I’ve seen a movie 🎥 wedding banquet? Gay man married straight woman. They got drunk 🥴 and they did it. How often does it happen tho? Acid brain 🧠 pain. But they got (acid brain 🧠 pain 5:28 pmpt😖😭😫😩) 5:29 pmpt

6:31 pmpt I think 🤔 all the symbolism attached to me means if you let me die you’re acknowledging you are corrupt and a rapist? Bcz I am categorically probably a sacrifice like Jon benet Ramsey and dugard? 6:33 pmpt. Any doctors 🥼 who let me die and anyone who set me up to die are linked to human trafficking Bcz “Brendan” wanted to buy me a plane ✈️ ticket 🎫 when I was 16 years old. If there’s a pattern of corruption in cops 👮‍♂️ in a bunch of areas, it’s more probable that it is all areas and Brendan lean is a lynchpin for all s*x trafficking of minors. But you all want to protect him over me, this will go on for another 2000 years. That’s what my death ☠️ means. Autocorrect: deal dear. 6:38 pmpt all EARTH 🌍 is agreed with my death ☠️. You will all suffer from my death ☠️ onward. That’s what that means. Odin ? Was that the Norse god who travels the skies 🌌 some thing called the hunt? Sounds scary. That’s Nick Carter’s son’s name. 6:40 pmpt

6:51 pmpt Asian women are highly s*xualizes and murdered? ABC article I tweeted about Georgia? (Acid brain 🧠 pain 6:52 pmpt) Sierra LaMar is half Japanese. The nbc news 📰 and cops 👮‍♂️ said it was a hoax when Sierra asked for help Bcz she was kidnapped. Those who covered up 🆙 are most likely doing it Bcz they are s*x human trafficking. They’re most likely involved with that and trying to cover up 🆙 by framing some one else. Oakland cops 👮‍♂️ was forcing prostitution of a 16 year old. 1207 <- Pearl Harbor Sierra LaMar’s beginning case numbers. Scott cano likes to have s*x w/ teens. 6:56 pmpt Courtney woods/wood in 2010/2011. 12/07 David Scott cano’s bday. Friends with cops 👮‍♂️. Even though they did not find her body they have him in prison for murder even though she was probably In Saratoga in a house 🏠 w/ a red door 🚪. She could still be alive. Me and Sierra LaMar have a lot of similarities. Brendan Lean was probably my neighbor since at least 2011. He was a landscaper. We don’t know what the cops 👮‍♂️ intentions were when they labeled it a hoax. Remember Georgia and Oakland. 7:01 pmpt and rapists justify. 7:02 pmpt

7:03 pmpt s*xuallized not s*xulizes.

7:55 pmpt 2017?2018? Incubus gave me a hard time about making decisions. I have to decide in the moment to commit to an action otherwise the opportunity is gone. I don’t know how true it is Bcz he’s always lying 🤥. But if it is, then there won’t be a second chance. It will be set in stone. You will be stuck. 7:57 pmpt 7:58 pmpt if he’s really ordering people around to rape people is that fascism? 7:58 pmpt. Slavery? Sold soul to the devil 👿? Is it a threat? Bcz I’m threatened all the time but I don’t have a choice but to take this. Young people don’t do much these days I guess? Onlyfans. Random little things for pr. Pornography? = onlyfans? I’ve only seen a little bit of one persons only fans and she was ranting and showing her boobs. About money 💰 I think 💭 I remember. 8:01 pmpt 8:02 pmpt

8:06 pmpt how unromantic to let me die. I guess love 💗 is dead 💀 in incubus. 8:06 pmpt love 💗 is dead ☠️ with rape? I need the definition of fascism again. 8:08 pmpt yeah it’s the same thing over again he claimed behati forced him to marry her and every time I think (acid pain brain 🧠 8:09 pmpdt ) I believe him or write ✍️ something or say it out loud he shows an intimate picture of the 2 of them. It’s very pavlovs dog 🐶 I guess. 8:11 pmpt. Yeah thanks 🙏. I don’t like his face anymore Bcz he looks like he’s plotting murder all the time. 8:12 pmpt. I saw 👀 a picture of him touching her boob. It’s what ever now. Romance is dead. No more love 💗 songs necessary in a purely rapist corrupt society. To fall in love 😻 with incubus is a death ☠️ sentence therefore to listen 👂 to his Siren song 🎶 would only let me down. Like Shannon Ruth. A FAN. Nick Carter justified rape with his ki? Japanese tattoo. Prejudged even though she may be gave him the benefit of the doubt? Tummy ache 😖😭 the biggest let down to a young fan. Someone so greedy. Taking whatever he wants when he wants without regard for her well being and feelings. 😖😭😫😩😞 8:18 pmpt biggest insult to all fans everywhere. 8:19 pmpt

8:33 pmpt katakana. Does anyone know when he got that tattoo? Shoulder. Ki. Looks young in the picture. 8:34 pmpt

8:37 pmpt started burning 🔥 my left thigh and did my butt for several days. Incubus if you cut my head you can stop 🛑 my suffering and have the whole skeleton at once. 😑😖😭🥵😤 8:39 pmpt stop 🛑 saying shawna like you’re happy about 🪚 sawing me. Sometimes it sounds like that when he sings sugar. Acid brain 🧠 pain it was going to happen anyway. I don’t like 👍 it! I don’t like you! Keep your hands 🙌 on behati’s boobs where I can see them. 8:42 pmpt I don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️ why would I now? 8:42 pmpt I’m prediabetic Bcz of him. It kills romance for me. 8:43 pmpt

8:47 pmpt and he likes child 🧒 rape. Another red flag 🚩. 8:47 pmpt him and his family endorsed it. 8:48 pmpt Jon benet Ramsey, dugard, Elizabeth smart? Possibly Sierra LaMar, too. 8:49 pmpt you like a system and men like that? You let me die and it will speak about your character for eternity. 8:50 pmpt trials shouldn’t be postponed for carter. 8:50 pmpt

9:17 pmpt incubus burned my butt. It might be killing the bone 🦴 making it easier to chip away. Nick Carter’s tattoo. 9:19 pmpt unfortunately for me the butt bone 🦴 is probably not that thick. So he might actually be taking it completely away. Not a lovely thing to do. Raping is very predatory. Like a hunter. Narwhals and rabbits 🐇 do they only survive by magic 🪄? 9:21 pmpt 9:22 pmpt incubus faked me out with Brandon Boyd’s invisible man 👨 Instagram avatar? Icon? 9:23 pmpt. Incubus/god really advocates the raping of 11 year olds and younger Bcz they really are heinous. 9:24 pmpt. That’s what my death ☠️ symbolizes. The continuation of sacrifice ig children 👶 to men for s*xual predatory behavior. Alike to the sacrifice to a wicked demonic god of a river or ocean 🌊/sea. The siren 🚨 🧜‍♂️ 9:26

9:29 pmpt in a world 🌎 with billions of people rape should be outlawed. 9:30 🕤 a rapist system includes greed/selfishness, exhibiting the worst character traits of a human, landfills and wastefulness, organized crime, untrustworthy “professionals,” making for a weak and unpleasant unpeaceful economy. 9:32 pmpt (autocorrect: unpractical 9:33 pmpt = incubus says a world 🌎 w/o rape is unpractical I guess? I had a thought 💭 but I got cramps 😖😭 I don’t remember right foot 🦶 hot burned 9:35 pmpt) rape is unromantic cold 🥶 not humane. We should outlaw romance romantic songs and movies if we are going to allow rape to be normalized by incubus. 9:36 pmpt

9:42 pmpt the fish 🎣 at the bottom of the ocean 🌊 in (acid throat pain 9:43 pmpt) finding Nemo. Ladies ! Just keep swimming 🏊‍♀️!

9:56 pmpt I looked 👀 again at that new planet 🌎 if I found the same one ☝️ then it is 100 light 💡 years away. That doesn’t sound good to me. I jumped to conclusions Bcz of that d*mm anime. And incubus toying with me. 9:58 pmpt I hope there’s another one closer (autocorrect: nothing 9:58 pmpt )

10:10 pmpt maybe 100 light 💡 years is wrong ? Maybe it is closer? How do they see 100 light 💡 years away? If it takes 100 years to see the light how do you see something that is probably only reflecting light 💡 half the time? Shouldn’t you only see light Not actual objects? I don’t get it . Am I wishful thinking 💭 I probably am. Unless they have internet down there 100 light years away to transmit an internet signal through relays of satellites 🛰 trying to figure out what sounds logical w/o knowing much. Socratic method. 10:14 pmpt

10:16 pmpt yup I recalled the TESS. Testing memory and trying to figure it out. 10:17 pmpt

10:22 pmpt it really is far then. Had too much hope for nothing. 10:24 pmpt . I wish incubus will cut my head off then. 10:25 pmpt this life is too tortured to be worth living. 10:25 pmpt would need a very fast plane ✈️/shuttle with a worm hole 🕳. 10:26 pmpt I don’t trust anyone who let me suffer. Especially during covid. 10:27 pmpt right shin pain. 10:28 pmpt

10:38 pmpt I’m stupid. 10:39 pmpt incubus cut off my head now! Please stop 🛑 hurting me. Cut my head please. No one’s doing anything about Sierra LaMar and composting at the hotel. I need another bin. 10:41 pmpt hot sting left upper thigh hip 😖😭😫🥵

11:10 pmpt this probably won’t help me at all but when I was a baby 👶 I lived in me looking park. Stereo hearts 💕 connection? 11:11 pmpt he burned my hip joints it feels acidic Bcz it stings with how hot it is. 11:12 pmpt this isn’t fair! Cramps.

Zzz 11:17 pmpt I did not want to be alone! You keep taking away my feelings! Making me confused! How dare you say things as if I didn’t want MORE! Genuine feelings and love 💗! (Pain right foot 🦶 11:19 pmpt)(acid brain 🧠 pain right foot 🦶 bottom abrasive pain 11:20 pmpt) I was afraid 😱 to meet more people and try again. I wanted the search 🔦 to be (<-what’s w/this ?. I put ! 11:33 pmpt) I wanted to find someone already. 11:21 pmpt why do I get the worst treatment all the time! 11:23 pmpt. I HATE YOU! 11:23 pmpt

11:28 pmpt every guy seems to try to manipulate me into having s*x too early and then gas ⛽️ light 💡 me about their intentions. They’re lucky 🍀 I tolerated them at all. Trying to give them a chance even when I don’t feel 100% like it. Unfortunately I should have listened to those feelings more probably and stop 🛑 trying to get to know them and keep them interested (left eye 👁 abrasive pain 11:31 pmpt) with out giving into s*x. But I failed! Over and over again. Speak 🗣 for yourself if you want to talk about people who pretend to Love 💗 people. Jordi is dead ☠️!

11:34 pmpt

11:36 pmpt cut my head off and leave me alone incubus. 12:56 am pt unfortunately Adam Noah Levine has prematurely judged me when I was a kid 👧 and he was probably 15 years old when I was 9 years old. I shared my colored pencils ✏️ and markers with the whole class when I was 7 years old. He looked over there or claimed it as something that I should have no credit claiming. He is prejudiced against me. He refuses to acknowledge when I wanted to feel something real even though I had too much fear to be myself completely. I grew up 🆙 learning to watch what I say a lot Bcz my mom was always annoyed with me. I had to learn to walk on egg 🥚 shells . He still holds it against me for not completely being myself. He splashed more acid in my brain 🧠 while I tried to sleep 😴. Unfortunately for us he is hypocritical and overly critical. Without understanding. Without sympathy 💐 or empathy. It is alarming and overwhelming that we have thus type of person to deal with having the power to destroy us yet claim to have righteous judgment. 1:03 am pt

1:04 am pt in 2010 I had the goal 🥅 to change myself to be more honest natural and in a good mood si that I might be more naturally good to people Bcz I usually felt I couldn’t talk to anyone unless I could present myself in a happy state of mind. 1:07 am pt I believe I already wrote all this in tumblr and that I did reach my goal 🥅 but incubus took it away. 1:07 am pt 1:08 am pt

1:08 I don’t recall telling Scott my feelings except when I said we should not have s*x and that I liked josh b4 he bit me. 1:09 am pt I think 💭 he didn’t really care to really hear 👂 my feelings and he was too busy trying to set me up 🆙 to fall and look 👀 bad. 1:10 am pt he asked me once if I liked him but he didn’t seem to care again. I thought 💭 I remembered (tummy ache hot 😖😭1:11 am pt) looking down feeling shame that I could not say yes. But he didn’t really respond to my absence of a verbal answer. He seems to like to ask things (right ankle pain 1:13 am pt) but then it seemed like only for show. Bcz he didn’t allow me to verbally decline kissing 😽 him. He didn’t respect me verbally declining s*x. When he asked about the condom I laid there with my eyes 👀 closed trying to figure out what to say and to have the strength to say. I think 💭 I might have been paralyzed? In a way from being able to respond. He waited for maybe 45 seconds? And proceeded to do what he wanted with me without respect. No condom. I had talked to a doctor 👩‍⚕️ after it happened and the doctor believed he got the cat 🐈 hair on it intentionally (pain bottoms of feet 🦶 1:18 am pt). He asks for show. But doesn’t care what you answer. He will get what he wants from me regardless of what I want or need. 1:19 am pt vag pain left foot 🦶 pain 1:20 am pt

1:23 am pt I started thinking 💭 that whoever touched me with my eyes 👀 closed must have been a woman 👩🏼. 1:24 am pt

1:31 am ptmouth acid pain right shin bone 🦴 acid 1:31 am pt he only had one condom left and he got cat 🐱 hair on it from the bed 🛌. 1:33 am pt

1:34 am pt I think 💭 I might have saw the condom box 📦 but did not commit it to memory. Maybe 🤔 he used all the condoms with other girls b4 me? 😑😩🥵😤 1:35 am pt

1:50 am pt I guess some people think 💭 I’m a b*txh. I ve been in pain all my life. You wouldn’t understand if you were allowed to grow to your natural height. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how tall you are but I’m under 5’2” like Sierra LaMar and the similarities don’t stop 🛑 there. One of my parents was 5’7” I think 💭. 1:53 am pt. Every time I got sick 🤒 I always hoped it would be the last time Bcz it was agony. 1:54 am pt my uncle had money 💰. I asked my mom to confirm. They gave us money 💰 for the pizza 🍕 but yes I was a little selfish. I grew up being very thin and short. My dad was a teacher 👨🏻‍🏫 and complained about his work environment and he was very frugal. He composted. He took out his own trash 🗑. The students on campus threatened his life pushing him into the rails but he had to follow specific rules to not get in trouble for defending himself. Security guards walked the campus Bcz students set trash cans 🗑 on fire 🔥. If I looked unhappy with my resting face I got lectured. 1:59 am pt

2:21 am pt when I had my first permanent job I only took vacations to see my sister and when my eczema got bad. It was decided I was to be a sacrifice probably b4 my cousin Jeremy was conceived. Being a sacrifice included painful (hot right cheek pain 2:24 am pt) 3 seasons of running sports when I got shin splints but kept going didn’t quit. I had to rest and ice 🧊, with tall buckets 🪣 of ice water 💦 and pain medication 💊. I dropped chemistry ⚛️ Bcz I was burned out from biology 🧬 summer school 🏫 Bcz I almost failed the second semester being online too much with Nick and “Brendan”.. I think 💭 I got a little obsessed about “Brendan.” I will remind you I did graffiti is art 🖼 for my thesis for senior project of high school 🏫 Bcz I guess I was obsessed a little? (Acid throat pain 2:30 🕝 am pt) I don’t know why I am a b*tch. Maybe Bcz my mom was annoyed with me since I was 4 years old. I used to remember her tone when she told me to clean up my toys 🧸 when I was 4 years old when she came home 🏠 from work and it was dark. 2:31 am pt my sister went off to Pratt after buying a new dx model car 🚗. Mom helped her with the loans and I had stayed at community college for 4 years? And drove a very old cheaper car 🚗. My mom didn’t pay very much for my community college I did federal work study 📚 and grants. I usually tried not to ask for a lot. But my sister did all these things and my mom helped her with the loans. My uncle my cousin’s father worked in the tech industry and said his hands 🙌 are like a surgeons hands 🙌 and claimed he helped invent the gyroscope? For a computer 👨‍💻? 2:35 am pt his father was an inventor, too and had a walnut farm in Missouri. When my aunt worked it’s a pharmacist her boss gave her some gold jewelry as goodby presents. She worked for an old rich man in Saratoga for years. I had a lot of times being sick and eczema problems and other pains like from braces and being called anorexic looking. I once scratched myself in my sleep 😴 and woke up 🆙 with very bloody sheets. I had dark circles under my eyes 👀 which my mom said to sleep more. I was punched in the head very hard 3? Times in a row and my vision blacked out and I became a little autistic maybe? 2:40 and I hit my head a lot very hard on hard surfaces. And I had memory issues. Probably Bcz of it. No one cared that all this was happening to me. I hit my head or was punched and no one did anything for me everytime. 2:41 am pt I didn’t feel normal. I had to deal with everything including my mom getting a hemorrhages cerebral aneurysm when I was a senior. She had high blood pressure. My dad was old and unhappy. My sister although had better health and circumstances than me she blamed me for being weird that I was causing her social problems? She couldn’t take me anywhere. She didn’t like the way I treated a friend of her even though he was a guy and it was my first time meeting him. She wrote something like she didn’t like being protected? Some thing like that in a journal. She didn’t need that from me. But I guess I was weird the way I did it. Bcz I was damaged in the brain 🧠. But no one cared. So if I am scared to spend more money 💰 on someone else when I’m already helping my mom and I have to deal with my fears like my brain 🧠 when no one else would help me since I was a kid then oh well it’s my problem for being a b*tch. 2:47 am pt I’m the problem it’s always me. I forced myself to finish UCB even though my eczema got very bad and teachers and nurses looked at my hands and told me I should drop school Bcz of it. (Acid throat pain 2:48 am pt)

[pate-de-rolo]

No one asked but Bridgerton episode 4✨ no thoughts head filled only with rage and Daphne thirsting for Simon :)

1) “does that sack of grain have a German accent, or is it my imagination”

1.1) pop POP

1.2) “you don’t love me for my subtlety” boxing buddy/will and his wife are the real hero’s of the story

2) I wish only The Best for Philippa and her sneezy husband.

3) “delicate sensibilities” I know he’s supposed to say they but they literally ousted that skeeze for being a deadbeat absent father. “Delicate sensibilities my ass.

4) In 1 of the 2 drama classes I took we had a running joke that forearms were so sexy they caused addiction. This lead to a part in our final class performance where we had a “commercial break” that included an advertisement for “forearms anonymous”, a play on Alcoholics Anonymous but for attraction to forearms. Anyways I think Daphne would have related to that but, given the boxing scene and the sleeves

5) the painter and the Bridgerton👀👀

5.1) “you should come by my studio” just kiss already

5.2) I’m predicting some gay paintings

5.3) oh, no. I also, want not excepting that mr Bridgeton

6) respectfully those costumes must be painful like a sports bra that’s 2 sized too small

7) mama Bridgerton is such a DaphneXSimon shipper, good for her.

8) the way she slowly starts crying during “non of it was real mama” help

9) Cressida is literally just Daphne but painted mean because she actually knows what she wants smh

10) the servant telling Eloise she’s stupid and privileged is chicken soup for my lower-middle class soul

11) if Marina was ugly I just know lady Featherington would have thrown her down some stairs and hoped for the best.

12) Cressida is so ambitious and pretty, she knew she could snag the prince and if Simon wasn’t such an ass she could be married in Germany spitting on the lower class for fun by now.

12.1) I had a crush on Cressida from the hunger games oops. Also on the show version of Margaery Tyrell, she’s so interesting. Knowing the the GOT books don’t centre on her was devastating to me tbh

13) honestly who does Simon think he is coming in to crash the party and following her into the dark like “will you? Be happy? Do you really even like tHe pRiNcE” When he ghosted Daphne and completely disrespected their entire friendship. The audacity

14) [Daphne breathes tremendously] girl me too.

14.1) ok but the kiss isn’t what you should be apologizing bud (yes, he should apologize for just kissing her out of nowhere. I mean he should really be apologizing for being a little bitch about his feelings :)

15) they’re gonna… IN THE GARDEN?!?

15.1) ok but that is the uncomfortable kissing scene I’ve ever seen in my life imsosorry

16) ok so technically the brother was entirely in the right when he came in and I won’t judge him for that.

16.1) like, yeah, if I saw my best friend who—swore up and down he had honourable intentions with my SISTER and convinced me he was cool— giving that very same sister a hickey in the hedges yeah, I’d deck his ass too.

16.2) upon seeing his following “you will marry her” outburst I no longer am on the brothers side

16.3) “he dishonours you” maybe she just wanted to get railed in the garden, Anthony. Oh sorry, is that only allowed for opera singers? My bad. Continue.🙄

16.4) “you would rather die than marry me?” If only my mans simon knew how to talk about his feelings smh. He’s dragging her through the (emotional) mud because of his daddy issues.

17) “you can feel free to be yourself here” am I not supposed to see that as a lil fruity? Come on

17.1) the artist guy looks a bit old, I’m going to feel real weird if someone says they’re like 20 and 40

17.2) “come back any time… even for conversation” 🚬👀🏳️‍🌈?

18) I just want to be friends with Penelope she’s so sweet and deserves so much.

19) the artist brother coming back from painting nudes like “oh? Problems? Sorry I’ve just stared at tittys for the past few hours”

19.1) the three brothers dynastic is pretty sweet/cute ngl. Like yeah, Anthony kind of sucks but like in a vacuum it’s a fun trio

19.2) Anthony taking out his own [sexual] frustration on his friend and family is lame

19.3) oh shit he’s doing it for her. For the opera singer

19.4) the actor literally licked from her [the opera singer] collar bone to her mouth, I’m going to vomit

20) “exactly how insulted was she?” [exhales tremendously]. I love it. Boxing buddy is so disappointed but he’s a ride or die, we love it.

20.1) wow I can’t wait for the hangover duel [@frozenpretzl said in a deadpan voice]

21) this is filmed like mama Mia, like a musical converted to a movie.

22) lady Featherington is laying down the LAW. Iconic. She’s a bitch but her husband is a thieving bitch.

23) I passionately hate the use of pure white/black horses in movies. Of course they exist, but you’re 10x more likely just to have a good old red or brown smh

24) when he smiles when she says “I know you do not love me” like ‘she’s so dumb I love her so much’ aw

25) was the earring in the earlier episodes a mistake? Or? Is Simon just not able to have an earring? I’m confused.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #Regé-Jean Page #phoebe dynevor #nicola coughlan #Jonathan Bailey #Daphne bridgerton #Simon basset #Penelope Featherington #Featherington #luke Thompson #maybe gay? idk

[duggardata]

Denver + Praise Are Engaged

It’s Official!  Here’s What We Know, So Far.

As suspected, Denver is involved with his Older Sister Allison’s Sister–In–Law, Praise.  (Praise is Allison’s Husband’s Sister.)  Denver + Praise appear to have been involved since June 2020, if not before, but the Bontrager Family hadn’t officially confirmed anything.  Finally, last night (November 30, 2020), Marlin + Becky posted on the Bontrager Family Blog, announcing that Denver + Praise are engaged.

Denver Elliot Bontrager, 20 (DOB December 5, 1999), is the 6th of 10 Children born to Marlin + Becky (Stolzfus) Bontrager of Kalona, Iowa.  He works on the family farm and tours with the family band (The Bontrager Family Singers).  He plays guitar, violin, and mandolin.  Denver was homeschooled, and graduated early in 2016.  Currently, he’s the oldest Bontrager living at home.  His 5 Older Siblings—Chelsy Maxwell, Allison Helferich, and Mitchell, Carson, and Joshua Bontrager—are all married, as of 2020.

Praise T.L. (“The Lord”) Helferich, 25 (DOB January 6, 1995), is one of Kevin + Lisa Marie (Dahmen) Helferich’s 11 Children.  The Helferiches live in Mountain Lake, Minnesota, and do mission work in Mexico.  Basically nothing is known about Praise’s education, employment, skills, or interests.

Siblings Marrying Siblings

Soon, 2 Bontragers (Denver and Allison) will be married to Helferiches (Praise and Jeremiah).  Weirdly enough, this isn’t the first time this has happened—2 Bontragers (Carson and Josh) married Bowers Sisters (Carolina and Cassidy) back in September 2017.  No other Predictor Family has ever had 2 Children marry into the same family.

Relationship Timeline

Pre–Courtship.  Literally, no idea.  Can’t estimate a Pre–C.S. Date.

Courtship.  Honestly, not sure.  Can’t estimate a Courtposal Date.  During the Bontrager Family Singers’ Summer Tour, Liz introduced Denver and said:  “He praises the Lord every day for a certain young lady from Minnesota!”  Duggar Data thinks she first said this on June 13, 2020, which was the first concert in the 2020 Summer Tour.  She said it again at concerts on July 12, July 15, and possibly others.  So...  Apparently, Denver + Praise were together by June, at least.  Still, this isn’t really enough to give us a Courtposal Date.  Sad!  

Engagement Date.  Again, we don’t really know.  But...  The Bontrager Blog announced it on November 30, 2020 at 11:17 PM.  Duggar Data thinks that’s significant, and possibly evidence that he’d just proposed.  (Why else would they post so weirdly late?)  Additionally, the Bontragers have historically not waited to announce proposals.  With the exception of Chelsy’s, all Bontrager Engagements were announced Same Day or 1 Day Later.  (Chelsy married a Maxwell, and they’re weirdly secretive about relationships.)  Based on this, I plan to use November 30, 2020 as Denver’s Estimated Proposal Date.    

Age at Courtship / Age Gap

Since we don’t have an Estimated ‘Courtposal’ Date for Denver + Praise, their data isn’t impacting Age at CS, right now.  (Their Age at CS displays as “?” in my spreadsheets.)  If we later learn their Courtposal Date, their data obviously would factor in.  I’ll keep y’all updated.

Just to give you the gist...  Let’s say Denver + Praise started courting on June 13, 2020, the day Liz first teased Denver about his ‘special lady.’  On June 13, 2020, Denver was Age 20.52 and Praise was Age 25.43.  Bontrager Sons (and Sons–In–Law) typically court at Age 22.74 (SD 2.53 Years) and their Daughters (and DILs) typically court at Age 22.86 (SD 2.73 Years).  Denver was 2.21 Years Younger (–0.88 SD) than that and Praise was 2.57 Years Older (+0.94 SD).  But like I said, I’m not factoring in their data, yet.  We don’t have a CS Start Date.

Let’s talk Age Gap!  Denver is 4.91 Years (or 1,794 Days) Younger than Praise.  While most Predictor Couples’ Age Gap favors the man, the Bontrager Family isn’t as rigid about this.  (Thus far, 50% of 2nd–Generation Bontrager Couples has an Older Woman.)  Denver + Praise’s Age Gap is the Largest Age Gap for Bontrager Couples, however...  And, their Age Gap is >2x that of the second–place couple, Allison + Jeremiah (722 Days Apart, Favoring Her).

When Will They Tie The Knot?

Typically, Bontrager Engagements last 105 Days (~3.4 Months), but it varies by a Standard Deviation (SD) of 24 Days.  Thus far, the Shortest Engagement was Allison + Jeremiah’s (77 Days), while the Longest was Carson + Carolina’s (136 Days).  All Bontrager Couples have wed on Fridays or Saturdays—3 Saturdays (Chelsy, Mitchell, Allison), and a Friday Double Wedding (Carson / Josh).

If Denver + Praise are exactly ‘typical,’ they’d marry after 105 Days.  Given the Estimated Proposal Date of November 30, 2020, that’d be March 15, 2021—a Monday.  Sincerely Doubting they’ll wed on Monday, let’s adjust it to Saturday, March 13, 2021.  Assuming Engagement Length is normally–distributed, odds are ~68% that they’ll wed between February 19–April 8, 2021.  The Fridays or Saturdays in that range are February 19, 20, 26, and 17; March 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 26, and 26; and April 2 and 3.

On the Bontrager Blog, Marlin stated (in a comment) that Denver + Praise will wed in March. An unverified registry (on Amazon) indicates the Wedding Date will possibly be March 20, 2021. If so, their engagement would be only 5 Days Longer than Average, and the Predictor would be off by just 1 Week. Not bad!

#denver and praise

[everlarkficexchange]

Everlark Fic Exchange. PROMPTS

Springtime Edition 2020.

These are the prompts we’ve received so far.

Crossed out prompts have already been selected and are being turned into fics!

A huge ‘Thank you’ to everyone who’s taken the time to come up with an idea and send it our way. Your prompts are the heart of the Exchange. Without them, our authors wouldn’t get to write all those beautiful fics. So, please, keep them coming!

You haven’t sent anything yet? Don’t worry, there’s still time. We’ll be receiving prompts until March 8.  Don’t be afraid to inspire us!

Prompts:

Prompt 1: Middle Mellark brother never wanted a baby bro. Spends half his life defending or admiring or manipulating Peeta, but the other half hating him for being so perfect (the favorite sweet talker and best baker wrestler). Whether to help or torment him, Rye asks reserved Katniss on a date to get a reaction. Maybe told as a wedding toast? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 2: Katniss is a high end house painter who works with expensive decorators, hired to paint an up and coming artists home. Turns out it’s Peeta, the boy her mother saved from an abusive home, who then disappeared. [submitted by @niceworksherlock]

Prompt 3: Imaginative only child Prim loves acting out all sorts of adventures with her favorite action figures Katniss and Peeta. (Toy Story-ish talking toys?) [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 4: Gale attempts to shoot Peeta during a hijacking episode on the Star Squad. Leaving Peeta wounded but not fatally. Katniss thinks Gale killed him. [submitted by Anonymous]

Prompt 5: Prompt has been removed.

Prompt 6: Medieval Au: Queen Katniss is in love. Too bad the person, Peeta is a renounced rebellion leader now turned into the personal sexslave of King Cato Snow, the son of Coriolanus Snow. With each passing day its becoming more and more dangerous for this star-crossed lovers to survive. Will she risk her family (sister Prim and mom) for love or will she be able to utilise the secrets of the castle Capitol in her favour to usurp the evil King and his father? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 7: Katniss Everdeen the daughter of a billionaire tries to antagonise her father. So she decides to date poor, uneducated simple boy Peeta. Her whole family (even Prim) hates him. Too bad his father has already arranged her marriage with his business partner's son Gale, a smart, handsome and successful man. Will she really fall for Peeta or will she bow to her father's will? Does Peeta feel himself worthy of Katniss? [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

Prompt 8: Peeta is a rich ceo and in love with another who disappeared before their marriage. So he withdraw within himself. But then he meets katniss( her background is up to you ) and falls in love for the second time. [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Prompt 9: Katniss is a commoner and peeta is a cruel king. He wants katniss to be his mistress. How will they fall in love is up to you. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 10: katniss and peeta are best friends who were in a friends w benefits arrangement in the past. now the hunger for each other is coming back. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 11: in panem au where everlark isn't reaped and peeta knocks up katniss. [submitted by @sunflowerslyf]

Prompt 12: katniss walks out of the fitting room wearing only a bikini to ask her friend if it suits her but it isnt her friend at the other side of the door but peeta. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 13: Katniss and Peeta work things out after the first Games and become closer and closer, and their love grows deeper. One day though, they are caught by Mrs. Everdeen and a fight ensues...(outcome is up to you, as long as it is Everlark!) [submitted by @albinokittens300]

Prompt 14: THG The Witcher AU with Katniss = Geralt, Peeta = Yenn, Prim = Ciri [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 15: A Below Deck inspired Everlark. Bonus points for including Odesta. [submitted by @historywriter2007]

Prompt 16: Hades!Katniss/Persephone!Peeta Katniss has stolen herself a husband. As Peeta becomes acclimated to being co ruler of the underworld Katniss finds herself bewitched by him beyond any measure she believed possible. But someone is not too happy with Katniss and has vowed vengeance. Vengeance in the form of the husband Katniss has come to revere. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]

Prompt 17: Everlark enemies to lovers, a long standing grudge (could be anything, even simple) but somehow it is discovered that Katniss is a bone marrow match for Peeta. If she doesn't donate he will die. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone​]

Prompt 18: A Wrinkle in Time AU - Meg!Katniss, Charles Wallace!Prim, Calvin!Peeta. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone​]

Prompt 19: Everlark inspired by Netflix show Love is blind. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 20: Peeta is the CEO and katniss is his secretary. They have an affair and katniss gets pregnant but when she tells peeta he doesn't believe her and accuse her of trying to trap him. What will he do when he realize his mistake and how will he win katniss back. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 21: High school romance based on the movie Wild Child. [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Prompt 22: Set in early 20th century. Katniss and Peeta are from two rival families who have been enemies since forever. They have a chance meeting which led to them falling in love. They are completely unaware of their identity. Will their love survive or will their relationship crumble. [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Prompt 23: Rumor: MrEverdeen crossed fence dividing Town and Seam, kidnapped Mrs Everdeen making her his commonlaw wife. Years later, Mellark sons plan to avenge their father by raiding Seam and kidnapping one of Everdeens daughters for one of them to take as a wife! Does Katniss “volunteer,” does she escape, how do the 3 brothers decide what to do with her since they didn’t plan it all out well? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 24: After Prim survives her first reaping, Katniss realizes she must have better plan for Prim’s future; fights to reclaim rights to the apothecary; wins it back after drawn out legal battle; installs her mom and Prim as owners. But Katniss not welcome in town for her Seam looks and distasteful takeover of a town business, and she’s not welcome in Seam as she refuses to marry Gale. So now 18 and past reaping, what will she do, where will she go, does anyone need her, can she let herself need anyone? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 25: Panem’s Mellark bakers are practically royalty, but with power comes responsibility. Peeta struck deal long ago to someday take reigns of Corp and settle down once dad retires if he can sow wild oats until then fucking everything that moves. Time’s up! Must propose! Publicity stunt for Mardi Gras - will bake engagement ring into cupcakes, makes sure his choice of wife will get that one, but mixup! Some girl in D12 gets it by mistake! Can’t admit his error! Katniss feels miracle, $ woes over! [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 26: the night before the Quarter Quell, in the sleepless dark, Katniss and Peeta allow themselves to indulge in the bittersweet dream of a future they’ll never have together (“if it wasn’t us, what would you do?” “I’d want to marry you” “tell me”) [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

Prompt 27: Pick a “what if” - what if Katniss was at Peeta’s bedside when he woke after losing his leg? - what if Katniss hadn’t been locked inside her room after wandering at night when she decides to seek out Peeta? - what if Haymitch hadn’t left the train when it stopped and upset Peeta with his comment? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 28: The truth finally comes out years later: Lily broke off the engagement only after the baker had knocked up her best friend, and for the baby’s sake she had left to run a free clinic in the seam where she does find true love. Her family invites her back to the apothecary now that they know and they forgive her for marrying a mine worker now that he’s deceased anyway. How does young Katniss adjust to life in town; Peeta, Delly, Madge as neighbors; not needing to go over the fence but wanting to? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 29: Post-MJ, Growing Together. Peeta is finally showing his affection and love for Katniss as they heal and reconnect. Katniss, being Katniss, seems to act like she doesn't appreciate this, and is less than enthused. Peeta, taking this like an adult, stops showing her with the affection and tries to show her his love in other ways. Katniss, however, does not appreciate him stopping those things and set out to try and get him to continue it again because she misses it. [submitted by @albinokittens300]

Prompt 30: When Prim needs a bone marrow reconstitution that can only be accomplished via genetic matched umbilical stem cell transplantation, Mrs E confesses that the baker is Prim’s father. Prim’s best chance of survival depends on Katniss having a Mellark’s child for the donor cells. How does she get one of the Mellarks to agree? And what are negotiations like regarding conception and what to do with the baby once it’s born? What if it’s more than one baby because of the medication Katniss is given? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 31: “We never see you two so much as kiss in public but last night we all heard you have sex.” Who says it (Johanna, Haymitch, Finnick or ?) and under what circumstances (vacation rental, baby monitor mishap or ?) is up to you. From BBA [submitted by Buttercupbadass]

Prompt 32: Pre-books fic about a young Peeta crushing on Katniss. His friends tease him about his crush constantly, and it irritates him because everyone seems to know except Katniss herself. But he just rolls his eyes good-naturedly whenever his friends say something about it. [submitted by @madetofly]

Prompt 33: Roommates+Friends-with-Benefits: It’s finally March and Katniss is hankering for a Shamrock Shake because “Damned it, Peeta! I can taste the mint!” So he drives her to every McDonald's in a 40 mile radius without luck. She cries, surprising both of them ‘cause she never cries… Peeta takes matters into his hands, buys ingredients for a homemade 🍀 shake plus a pregnancy test just in case. You decide what’s the result and what Everlark does with the knowledge/scare. Extra points for humor. [submitted by @alliswell21]

Prompt 34: Peeta Mellark is the owner of a popular bakery chain and has no time for romance. Katniss Everdeen is struggling, about to be evicted, in deep debt and desperate, she jokingly tells her friend Madge over a cheese bun, she needs a Sugar Daddy to put her trough college and Peeta happens to overhear it. She’s a regular at his main shop, and is cute if a few years his junior. He offers her a deal she can’t refuse. Age gap. Extra cookies for accidental toastbaby and falling in love. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 35: No reaping AU. At 19, Katniss considers marrying Gale for practical reasons; the fact she just heard the baker’s son toasted and was assigned a house at the edge of town has nothing to do with it... maybe. What happens next? (was Peeta really married or was it his brother? Does she marry Gale? Does Everlark ever talk? Will Peeta cheat if he’s actually married? Can Katniss admit she loves the Boy with the Bread? Is this forbidden love?) is up to you. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 36: Frustrated and stressed out Single dad!Peeta needs a fuck desperately. His best friend, Katniss, unwittingly offers to help him out. Things get murky with repressed feelings, but one thing’s certain, Peeta can’t keep his hands to himself anymore and Katniss is all too willing to oblige at the drop of a hat, regardless of place, time and her own emotions, as long as he keeps whispering all his sexy, filthy thoughts into her ear. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 37: Not-Reaped, In-Panem AU where Peeta and Katniss have begun quietly seeing one another. It is very early on and they are really only just getting a bearing on how deep their feelings are when one day Katniss sees Peeta beat by his mother and no amount of will power will stop her from going and confronting the witch. She goes in there on a war path but stops when she sees just how hurt Peeta is this time, with open gash on his leg from when he had fallen to the ground... [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 38: Everlark inspired by Netflix's Spinning Out (But honestly I believe it was the other way around!) [submitted by @justhereforthefanfiction]

Prompt 39: Taylor Swift - Mary’s Song (aka childhood best friends to lovers to husband and wife) [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 40: No choice - friends Katniss and Gale must wed to become legal guardians of siblings. Still not enough to avoid financial ruin. Convinced only way to get desperately needed fast cash is for Katniss to first offer virginity to highest bidder. But how to find him or her, how to negotiate terms, does she confide in anyone, how should she prepare, will it all be quick and forgotten as she hopes, what could go wrong, can she keep this secret, can she use a fake name, can she hire a service? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 41: Inspired by the dancing kid meme. A video clip of either Katniss/Peeta as a child becomes a huge meme. How do they handle it? Maybe it gets them together? Maybe it’s creation tears them apart? [submitted by Buttercupbadass]

Prompt 42: Every time there’s a really bad storm, a bolt of lightning precedes Katniss getting transported to another life. She’s always Katniss with all her memories, but everything around her is different. Peeta is always there, she just needs to figure out if he’s friend, foe, stranger. And, damn it, the storms this spring with global warming sometimes has her in and out of situations before she can figure anything out. Gale complicate things further. It’s enough to drive her crazy... [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 43: Katniss post-war becomes crazy cat lady, dedicates herself to caring for every stray, calls them all Buttercup, don’t get along with Haymitch’s geese. Now does Dr Aurelius make a house call? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 44: Believing that taking a new young bride every 5 years will keep him youthful, Snow arranges to marry wife #12 from D12. In the hours between the ceremony and the wedding night, he drops dead. 16-yr-old Katniss returns to 12 but now she’s “Widow Snow.” Can she ever be Katniss, district huntress again? With all that $, wedding gifts, etc that were sent on the train with her? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 45: Prompt has been removed.

Prompt 46: Pacific Rim inspired AU with drift compatible Everlark (or not if you’re inspired by angst). I really just want to see more of that aspect of Pacific Rim explored than what they did in the movie and what better way to do it than with Everlark! [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 47: katniss and peeta have a one night stand after meeting at a bar. when katniss visits her gyno turns out peeta is her new doctor. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 48: best friends!everlark who take each other's virginity. [submitted by @sunflowerslyf]

Prompt 49: "I'm your boss, give me your pants. Now." [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 50: everlark discovering on their date that they've missed each other their whole lives (living in the same city, went to the same high school, going to the same halloween and nye parties, were set up before by different friends but stood each other up, shopping at the same store, etc.) [submitted by @sunflowerslyf]

Prompt 51: Katniss E, the Valedictorian of Panem High school, is perfect in all fields of life. And that is the crush of awkward, average in studies, not so popular, never had a girlfriend, often bullied Peeta M. Not only does she have a very popular friend circle but also a handsome, popular boyfriend Gale H. Will she even want to be his friend? Is his crush doomed to fail? Eventual Everlark. [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

Prompt 52: “The Tao of Peeta” - maybe setting is as (small, remote, surrounded by wild creatures) D12 is being used as a penal colony for dangerous (political?) prisoners? Bring in other victors? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 53: Katniss’s parents finally convinces her to attend the military ball because they are honoring her dad after some time of trying to distance herself from the military world. At the ball, she meets a handsome, charming man that might bring her back into the world she was trying to leave. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Prompt 54: Heart wrenching angst Everlark based on the song “Me Dedique A Perderte” by Alejandro Fernandez. [submitted by @animekpopxx​]

Prompt 55: The Prophecy states: “A powerful witch that’s born from the two worlds,will reunite them and will bring peace. “ Everyone thought that the prophecy was talking about her. And she did bring change and hope to everyone but who ultimately brought the peace was her unborn child. [submitted by @animekpopxx​]

Prompt 56: Who dun it? Shortly after Katniss goes to one of those paint and kiln your own porcelain places, (owner artist Peeta), people start disappearing. The only connection seems to be that they were people she bitched about while sipping too much wine and painting her piece. She becomes prime suspect. No bodies can be found, how are they vanishing? Can she offer an alibi for each disappearance? That guy Peeta keeps popping up, is he following her? She’s sure she caught him looking at her... [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 57: In a place where the world prospers with a female dominated world, Coriolanus Snow successfully does a coup over the reigning Everdeen family with ruthless bunches of man to create a world where men dominate.But the people’s hope is in the form of a Katniss Everdeen and Snow did not know that she was right under his nose the whole time before it was too late. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Prompt 58: Historical au where princess katniss and duke peeta are secretly sleeping together, are caught, and now have to marry each other. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 59: Growing up Peeta started loving her. It was a gradual thing that happened throughout his childhood and into his teens. But something changes when he hits puberty. Her scent has heightened, he can spot her from miles away. He gets a bit possessive. But the biggest thing is when his body starts to heat up and even just the thought of you gets him hard for days. He finds out the family secret of his werewolf genes, something his parents thought passed him. How can he go by with his day and be with her without scaring her away by humping her because of his heat. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Prompt 60: After severe flooding(?) community urged to open homes to disaster victims. Mrs. E offers to take in children only. Peeta and bro assigned there temporarily. Peeta quiet, polite? Bro constant source of embarrassment? Prim doesn’t want them to ever leave? Does Gale have anything to say about this? How does Katniss deal with it? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 61: Peeta knew better, but he did stupid things when he got drunk. Now he’s caged at the animal shelter in his wolf form. And, omg, Katniss Everdeen let her little sister drag her in to see the dogs?! He knows he shouldn’t, but teen hormones. He just wants to lick her hand. Get a tummy rub. Hump her leg. Sleep on her bed. Omg, they take him home!!!! He needs to let his dad know where he is. Omg. He needs to figure out his bakery shift. “God, don’t let Katniss catch me licking my balls.” [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 62: one night stand!everlark sleeping together the same night a terrible snowstorm hits the city and everything gets shut down with no way to get home. perhaps a two night stand? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 63: katniss and peeta who are exes wake up together naked, hungover, and married. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 64: She’s a good girl, goes to confession weekly. He’s a bad boy, on the run, slips into the confessional booth just in time. Now he’s stuck hiding in here for a bit hearing the some dull some crazy confessions of the elderly - and of one young girl with the sexiest voice. May go to hell for this, but he’s a guy and can’t help himself with what he says/does next. One of them ends up saying, “Oh, God! Yes!” [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 65: Everlark fluff based on the song Sugar by Maren Morris. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone]

Prompt 66: Everlark post apocalypse, katniss and peeta are neighbors and the only two that make it to katniss's father's bunker in time. Over the course of several years the two have grown quite close having no one else, but now provisions are running low. Do they face the unknown outside or stay put, knowing they only have food to last another week? [sent by anonymous]

Prompt 67: Her parents said that it was just a childhood crush and that she will outgrow it. But why does her heart flutters. When she’s finally old enough to get a job, she immediately gets a part time job to be close to him. Will is pursue her love against people’s negative views because he’s so much older than her. Or go for it and make him fall in love with her. Age Gap Older!Peeta. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Prompt 68: Dark Coffee Shop AU - Capitol Peeta runs a Coffee/Pastry shop in the poshest part of the Capitol. Near by President Snow’s Mansion. Capitol!Katniss is a frequent customer. Things in the Capitol begin to deteriorate as the rebellion drags on. Are they sympathetic to the rebel cause? [submitted by @oakfarmer12]

Prompt 69: College boy Peeta helps incoming students move into the dorms. Katniss is his next assignment. Age Gap? Maybe Katniss is an older student going to college later? Grad student? Maybe Peeta is a senior, Katniss a Freshman? The possibilities are endless! [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 70: Peeta picks up a hitchhiker in the mountains one night, only to find it's his childhood best friend and now escaped convict Katniss Everdeen. In a panic he calls police but after hearing her side of the story comes to believe she didn't actually murder anyone. Everlark on the run. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 71: King Snow forces the daughter of dead rebel leader Katniss to marry is adpoted son Peeta M and kills her father. P coming to know the truth on their wedding night vows to avenge Mr E's death. K hates him and carries on her own rebellion supplying her next clan leader Gale information from the Castle. When Snow is killed and rebels overtake Capitol chaos ensures. Ally of rebel, a neighbouring kingdom's queen Coin tries to use the situation in her favour. Whose side will K take? Eventual Everlark. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 72: Peeta is off a very abusive, poor home. His school friend Katniss has the exact opposite home: well loved and well off family. What happens when opposite worlds clash? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 73: I am a simple woman: I just want Katniss Everdeen content and loved and washed in moonlight I don’t care how you do it. [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

Prompt 74: Katniss Everdeen is horny. It has been three months since she left asshole Gale to enjoy her life. She just needs a good fuck. She goes man-hunting to a local bar with Jo. The even ends up with her being naked on her bed, with the head of a very handsome blonde, stocky stranger between her thighs. But after her first orgasm of the night when he says: I’ve never done this before, will it be the last? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 75: An in-Panem arranged marriage a/u where Katniss is slightly older than Peeta. [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Prompt 76: Modern a/u Katniss is getting over the loss of her sister (you decide how) when she meets Peeta. She’s closed off but he finds a way in. Maybe she works for him? Him for her? Maybe she cries herself to sleep on his bread scented shoulder? (Please yes I need that) [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Prompt 77: Katniss Everdeen has a handsome neighbour. It dosen't help that she just came out of a shitty relationship with her ex Gale Hawthorne. Too bad he is a 19 years old virgin boy and she is a woman of the world at 31. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 78: Post MJ, the new government of Panem has finally decided to lift the exile to Twelve order off of Katniss. Where are Katniss and Peeta in their lives? What is the first thing they do? Do they just have a quiet celebration or do they go somewhere? [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 79: Peeta has been planning this marriage proposal for months. It goes horribly wrong. Tell me all about it and what happens next?[submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 80: Katniss helps undo the lies Peeta’s mother (and the Capitol) told him about himself (namely that awful “stupid creature” comment) and reminds him that he is worthy and precious to her and really, that’s all that matters [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

Prompt 81: Katniss finds her soulmate at her bachelorette party (aka Peeta)(Happy ending please) [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 82: Post MJ, when Peeta touches Katniss’ neck wrong, she has a flashback of him almost strangling her and has to be heavily consoled. This leads to a conversation about his attacking her when he came back from the capitol. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 83: Katniss is whipped instead of Gale in Catching Fire, Peeta’s the one who’s there to take care of her after. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 84: [Historical AU: 1930s Hollywood] Silver screen star Peeta Mellark has captured millions of hearts, and housekeeper Katniss isn't immune. She's stunned when Peeta comes to court her eccentric heiress employer, Madge. Katniss' shock only grows when Peeta offers to pay for her help in winning him Madge's hand in marriage - and access to her fortune, with which he intends to fund his directorial debut. [submitted by @gamesmakers]

Prompt 85: During an episode of Peetas, he locks Katniss outside in the snow for an entire night. Haymitch is passed out drunk and doesn’t let her in, she can’t find anywhere else to go all night so she ends up catching a really bad cold. When Peeta comes to his senses he feels horrible and nurses her back to health. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 86: After MJ Peeta has a hijack relapse for a few minutes where he insults Katniss’ appearance and body (more extreme version of when he said she wasn’t very pretty in Mockingjay) which hits a nerve, especially since her body was damaged in the explosion that killed Prim. After he’s back to himself, he feels terrible, but Katniss brushes it off. It’s only when she refuses to have sex with him now that he realizes how insecure she might be. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 87: On the train a few days before the Quarter Quell, in another effort to break her before the second games, Snow orders Katniss to have sex with someone in the capitol who paid for her company. When she tries to refuse, Snow threatens her family. She agrees but partway through panics and tries to stop it, only to have the buyer turn on her and get physically violent. She comes to Peeta afterwards and he comforts her, holds her, takes care of her and promises he’ll never let someone hurt her again. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 88: Not reaped. Peeta and Katniss fake date. [submitted by @anxiouslyintroverted]

Prompt 89: Amish!world. Katniss and Peeta are courting each other and are just waiting for Katniss to be of age to get married cause Peeta’s 2 years older. But things gets tough when a Snow comes to their county and spots Katniss. He ask her father if she can be his wife. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Prompt 90: anyone for an Everlark Alcott or Austen-esque period drama? because I sure am so just gonna speak that into existence. [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

Prompt 91: ​High school. Peeta is the perfect golden boy. Katniss is a rebellious, infamous girl who always skips class and who everyone fears. She is every boys wet dream and every girls nightmare. How will they both fall in love? [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Prompt 92: High school musical au: katniss and peeta as troy and Gabriella. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 93: Katniss is preparing for first Toastbaby and going through some hardcore nesting urges. Peeta, of course, thinks this is perfect and willing to help her anyway he can even if that means repainting the nursery for a third time. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 94: Toastbaby gets into a bit of a scrape, nothing too serious, and Everlark struggles with finding the balance between being there for toastbaby but not being too overly protective. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 95: Everlark meet cute, “Oh wait... you’re NOT my blind date?” We’re they set up with each other or with someone else? How do they figure out the mix up? What happens after? Disgustingly fluffy welcome. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 96: Everlark in the verge of breaking up. Why? Are they married or dating? Do they fix it or go their separate ways? [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 97: Katniss makes three game changing shots, one in each of the books. What if... she missed? Pick one for her to miss and how does it change the story? Cato’s hand in THG, the forcefield in CF, or Coin in MJ. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Prompt 98: I would love some good rated E Everlark smut. Post mockingjay, Everlark growing back together and when I say smut I don't mean porn. I mean they need each other. Can't live without each other. Pour their hearts out and heal each other with their love from all the trauma they went through and make up time that they wasted holding their feelings back and pining after each other. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 99: Peeta has been spending too much time around his brothers (lol), Katniss makes a remark about wanting a snack, he replys “I have something you can snack on” Peeta is instantly mortified by his stupid comment because he is a gentleman. What happens next? It’s up to you. Could be sexy, could be a different kind of tongue lashing? [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Prompt 100: Peeta's thoughts/what really happened to him at the end of the war and his thoughts regarding Prim's death. [submitted by @acpoe82]

Prompt 101: The night of the interviews in Catching Fire, Snow delays the games by a few days after Peetas announcement that Katniss is pregnant and demands Katniss gets a forced abortion in the capitol. Peeta and Katniss try to tell the truth, that she’s not pregnant but Snow isn’t listening and she’s forced into the procedure. Peeta is allowed to stay with her during and after, lots of hurt/comfort, etc. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 102: Katniss is uncomfortable with relying on Peeta even post MJ(pre epilogue). She only accepts his affection after nightmares, she doesn’t think she deserves it otherwise. She feels like he’s still too good for her & that she’ll never deserve him, on top of how she lacks trust in anyone bc of her childhood & having to be strong for Prim and her mom. One night after a severely bad nightmare she blacks out and come to, to Peeta bathing her in the tub, being gentle & loving & affectionate & soothing. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 103: best friends!everlark where katniss sets peeta up on a date with her friend, when peeta and date hit it off she realizes that she's actually in love with him but does nothing about it, few years later, peeta and girl are engaged and after a night of drinking, peeta and katniss accidentally hook up. how they get together is up to you (hea pls) [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 104: Katniss is captured instead of Peeta but instead of being injected with tracker jacker serum she’s beaten, starved, lashed and throttled. When her spirit is weak enough the capitol returns her to D13 where Peeta (and Haymitch/Effie) help her recover. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 105: what if one of them was a librarian and the other a (struggling? or drawing away patrons and stealing employees) bookstore owner (maybe who was more interested in things other than books) - Enemies to lovers? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 106: Everlark based on the movie Groundhog Day, where one (or both?) relive the same day over and over until they get it right. [submitted by @xerxia31]

Prompt 107: Katniss gets jealous of Peeta paying attention to other girls during their “growing back together” period. Super jealous. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 108: A story based on the lyrics to Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" [submitted by @xerxia31]

Prompt 109: Dialogue prompt: "I deserve better than this!" [submitted by @xerxia31]

Prompt 110: AU. Everlark live across from each other in fancy New York (or the like) penthouses. With all those large windows, they see each other daily and know the other's routine and all he/she does, but they've never met. A chance meeting occurs. What will happen? The circumstances of their living arrangements/any backstory and what happens between them is up to you. [submitted by @acpoe82]

Prompt 111: Hand Porn - looking, breathlessly touching, reading the story told by the calluses, the scars, the strength, while admiring all they’ve done, appreciating all they do, anticipating everything they will do for love - sensitive, expressive, powerful, creative, protective, sensuous hand porn. [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 112: 40-year-old virgin Peeta. Based as loosely as you want on the movie. Everlark, of course. [submitted by @acpoe82]

Prompt 113: Katniss saw Peeta naked in the arena after he got hurt but he hadn’t seen her. During CF while Peeta is training Katniss and Haymitch hard, Katniss falls out of exhaustion and being overworked and hurts her back slightly. Feeling guilty, Peeta gives strips her naked, gives her a bath and rubs healing lotions from her mom all over her. How does he react to the first time seeing her naked?[submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 114: Katniss trips and falls in the quarter quell and breaks her ankle, resulting in Peeta carrying her everywhere. She doesn’t like looking weak in front of the other victors but since she doesn’t plan on living through the games this time it’s good to be taken care of one last time. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 115: During the victory tour, for whatever reason, author can decide, Peeta has to help Katniss undress at the end of the day, only to discover/for her to remember too late, that she didn’t put any underwear on underneath her clothes. His shock/her humiliation ensues. (But he tries to make her feel better ofc) [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 116: Peeta braids Katniss’ hair to soothe her. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 117: AU where Peeta wasn’t hijacked when he returned from the capitol, just shaken up, during Star Squad, Katniss has a bad flashback and Gale witnesses Peeta be the only person who could comfort her. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 118: the nutcracker au! katniss as clara and peeta as the nutcracker. and if there could be a scene with snow, that would be really nice! [submitted by @omercilessmoon]

Prompt 119: “If you were taken by the capitol and hijacked, and then tried to kill Peeta, is this how he would be treating you” a fic where it’s Katniss the capitol hijacked and the second part of mockingjay from their reunion on is reversed. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 120: “I know that everyone on the planet is born with heterochromia, but I’m blind, so literally anyone could lie to me and say that they’re my soulmate. Why should I believe you?” Blind!peeta soulmate AU. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 121: Peeta has returned to D13 along with Katniss. But she is being forced to be the Mockingjay and portray a new angle, that Gale is her actual lover, Peeta was being forced on her by Capitol and Snow. How does Katniss manage the peer pressure? [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

Prompt 122: The soldiers bring back to district 13 Peeta but he is not hijacked. He has been beaten badly, starved and sexually abused. All this led him to become an emotional avox. Will Katniss be able to help him recover from the trauma? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 123: Katniss never volunteers instead she is picked. While peeta volunteers for his brother(what’s wrong with his brother is up to you) and promises him that he will try to win. Peeta turns into the mockingjay ( or whatever variation he will have). [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 124: In MJ I noticed Peeta became more of himself when Katniss was affectionate to him and it helped him fight the venom. So my prompt is when Peeta comes back from being hijacked Katniss realizes this sooner and it starts off slow at first but then they get to the point of having sex and it pretty much heals him completely. HEA for Everlark please. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 125: EFE Prompt: Everlark + Faith. Be it in people, spiritual, or otherwise. Explore the loss of it, regaining of it, or finding it for the first time. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 126: Anything AU based on the song “Talk” by Hozier. Simple enough I think. [submitted by @theliferuiner]

Prompt 127: The earth is in perilous danger from a great evil and only Katniss can stop it. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 128: Peeta saves Katniss from being raped by someone in the capitol. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 129: Katniss & Peeta had a baby. But then miscommunication caused them to split. Peeta is still heavily involved in his baby's life. Katniss is seeing someone else & quickly rising in socioeconomic status with her talent as singer. Peeta on the other hand is facing more & more troubles with his family life. He isn’t being able to spare time their child. Its also becoming difficult for him to keep up with Katniss. Will their rift grow? Or will Katniss finally acknowledge her true feelings for him? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 130: What if Haymitch hadn’t said thise words to Katniss when Peeta joined Star-squad in Mockingjay? Would Katniss have come to her senses or would she be still angry at Peeta. A Mockingjay AU. [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

Prompt 131: “Do you love me? Do you really? Because I go through every day of my life, thinking that nobody loves me.” [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 132: Both Mellark brothers, eldest and youngest love Katniss Everdeen. She is engaged to the eldest but her heart belongs to the youngest. Jealous!Peeta. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 133: Birth of their first child. Peeta helping and supporting Katniss. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 134: Visual Prompt. To see it go HERE [submitted by @javistg]

Prompt 135: Non specific prompt. Peeta called Katniss baby as a pet name. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 136: Katniss gets stung pretty bad by tracker jackers post mockingjay. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 137: Friends to lovers road trip au! Katniss wants to take a summer off to explore the country, Peeta volunteers to go with her. Bonus points if one of them is an absolutely oblivious idiot. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 138: Everlark loosely based off 90 day fiance. Could be AgeGap, one could have ulterior motives(until they end up catching real feelings), or it's a genuine connection. Author decides. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 139: There are fics where Peeta's mom tries to set him up with town girls. What if Peeta's mom tries to set him up with Katniss for once. Maybe both moms team up together? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 140: In Panem AU where Peeta is a Mail Order Husband. As the youngest son of a merchant class Capitol family, he has accepted he will never inherit the family bakery. But when his family contract him to an arranged marriage to further the business he will never own, he escapes by signing up to a programme to relocate and marry a district woman. Why Katniss needs a husband, is up to the author. Everlark endgame :) [submitted by @louezem]

Prompt 141: Katniss is the lone victor of 74th Annual Hunger Games. Peeta is a Capitaloit. Snow forces Katniss to be like other victor. How will they meet? How will they fall in love? What will happen when the revolution starts? [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 142: Gale comes to district 12 again years after mockingjay and runs into a little girl shooting an arrow, only to find out it’s Katniss and Peetas daughter. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 143: The girl of my dreams asked me if I needed a ride home from campus so I obviously let her drive me home then walked back to campus a couple of hours later to get my car. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 144: Peeta's perspective. A more in-depth look at how he joined and tricked the Careers and led them away from Katniss in the Hunger Games. [submitted by @acpoe82]

Prompt 145: Not reaped; Snow overthrown; D12 unscathed; miners unionize; postwar prosperity; Seam transformation; Hob center of commerce. Teens Katniss and Peeta have new options and new pressures. How do they navigate this new reality? How do they handle graduating? How do they find their way to each other without reaping and with seam now middle class and restrictions lifted? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 146: Powerful Matchmaker arranges marriage between Everdeen girl (to whom she owes a big favor) and the young cinnamon scented baker boy the girl has loved ever since he first slipped her a sugar cookie with her namesake flower beautifully decorated in frosting, the yellow primrose. What will Katniss do when she only learns of it in church as the first of the 3 Sunday banns are read? Has she ever spoken to Peeta? Will she search her feelings for him? Will he object to the match? Does he have any say? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Prompt 147: The movie "Me Before You" Everlark style. [submitted by @acpoe82]

Prompt 148: Gale dosen't design the bomb but someone else does. Prim lives, but Katniss still kills snow. Gale cones back to district 12 along with Katniss. But problems arise when Peeta cones back too. Eventual Everlark. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 149: Peeta is whipped in catching fire instead of gale. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 150: Everlark based on the movie Blast from the Past starring Brendan Frasier and Alicia Silverstone. Peeta’s family lives in a bomb shelter for an extended period of time and he has to leave and venture out by himself with no knowledge of the current world. He hires Katniss to help him out and they fall in love. (Rough summary!) Rated M/E would be spectacular! [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 151: Everlark based on the song ocean avenue. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 152: King Peeta Mellark of Panem is looking for a wife, and he isn't getting any younger. None of the potential suitors does it for him - until he runs across local dragon slayer Katniss Everdeen after his kingdom comes under attack. She's exactly what he wants. The only problem? She absolutely hates him and it's up to him to convince her to marry him. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 153: Katniss opens up to Peeta about her insecurities about herself and about how he’s too good for her. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 154: One where Katniss is humiliated and Peeta makes her feel better. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 155: Post Mockingjay but before epilogue, Katniss has a good dream about her dad still being alive and how much he’d like Peeta and how wonderful everything would be. When she wakes up at first she doesn’t realize it was a dream, but when she does she’s absolutely inconsolable. Peeta comforts her the best he can. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 156: Just any or maybe multiple times Katniss got her period around Peeta. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 157: Unfocused while hunting from a nightmare the night before an animal sneaks up on Katniss and injured her, not deathly but enough that she can’t make it home on her own. Peeta gets worried when she’s not back after dark and goes after to find her freezing cold and bleeding and shivering. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 158: Toastbabies make breakfast in bed for their parents anniversary, only to walk in on them doing the do. [submitted by anonymous]

Prompt 159: Katniss tries to make herself up to look pretty for Peeta but doesn’t know how to do it well and it’s a disaster but he thought she was beautiful just as she was. [submitted by anonymous]

#1st draft #prompt list #available prompts 2020

[tohruhondaismydaughter]

I've just discovered there's people who hate Kakeru. Not dislike or don't get the hype about him but genuinely seem to hate him. Now obviously personal preferences are a thing but I seriously don't get where this hate could be coming from because with

1. Akito- phyically assaults people (including kids), held a teenager hostage for daiting & trying to take a box of her's that Akito already knew was empty & also stabbed someone after they tried to help her & left them to potentially die

2. Shigure- regularly makes perverted "jokes" about people who are underage (including the 16 year old girl who lives with him & cleans/cooks for him + he's family) & admits to manipulating everyone around him for he's own selfish goal regardless of how it could hurt others & that he dosn't really care about being kind even to the people he supposedly loves + he likes messing with people he knows are already terribly anxious & he also won in the end while never having to actually sacrifice anything important to him or really learn anything of value

3. Ayame- abounded he's brother to abuse till he was almost 30 & says various inappropriate things in front of & towards High Schoolers

4. Kagura- pretended to love someone 3 years younger then her who she saw as beneath her in a violent (though it was obviously in out-dated slap stick) way until she was like 18 & then slaps Tohru so hard she becomes uncounsious

5. Kureno- enabler of Akito despite no longer being supernaturally bound to her & knowingly fell for a High Schooler

6. Hatori- enabler of Akito & erasers people's memories when told to regardless of how he knows it'll hurt others

7. Katsuya- knowingly married (& later impregnated) isolated & homeless 15 year old Kyoko when he was in he's 20's after meeting her as a teacher in her middle school

8. Ren- everything about her

9. Kyo's sperm donor- everything about him

10. Momiji's parents- how they handled the situation

11. Machi's mum- raised her daughter like a robot, replaced her, insulted her entire personality, acussed her of attempted murder with bassically zero evidence, kicked her out of her home, cut her off from her sibling & only ocasnially calls to insult her leading to her developing a rather unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with her damaged mental health

12. Machi & Kakeru's dad- cheated on his wife, made he's kids fight over thier inheritance before getting another child & then treating the first two like they no longer exsisted

13. Kakeru's mum- took years to realise that she shouldn't use her child to get money/power from an affair

14. Haru- got a little too insistent about phyical affection from someone who he knows is super emotinally scarred (I still love him though just don't think certain scenes with Rin were handeld as delicately as they probably should have been) & can get rather harsh to random people when he goes dark (the worse case of this being when he grabbed Tohru's arm)

15. Rin's parents- belong in hell

16. The Sohma maids (especially the old one)- are part of the reason Akito became as messed up as she did + just straight up seem to not view kids or the zodiac as human beings with thier own feelings or rights

17. Uo's mum- straight up abounded her young daughter after getting into a new relationship

18. Yuki & Ayame's mum- narsastic, dismissive, controlling, litrually sold one of her kids to thier abuser in exchange for wealth/status, never apologised or even acknowledged what she had done

19. Akira- pursued a relationship pretty much out of pure lonleyness, went along with the suppression of Akito's biological gender, didn't do enough to protect Akito from he's wife's abuse (though in he's defense he was incredible sickly), last few things he told he's child before dying was that he was glad he had her as proof of he's relationship with Ren (AKA the person that had made it clear to Akito that she hated her guts) & that she was special due to being god & her bond with the zodiac was her birth right & would always be there (leading Akito to obviously feeling possessive & intilted over the zodiac & base her entire identity on her position as their god)

20. Kyoko- neglected infant Tohru for months due to her depression after Katuya's death & was even planning on killing herself to be with him again before finally coming to her senses (I love her & I tottally get why she did what she did but if it weren't for gramps little Tohru would have been in one hell of bad situation)

21. The Yuki Fan Club- just thier entire attitude towards Yuki & any girl that interacts with him (I get that it's obviously a delibretly over the top anime gag but irl the way they behave would be seriously disturbing & I'm pretty sure might even be illegal now what with all the photos taken of Yuki without he's knowledge)

22. The former school president- he's creepy fravriotisim towards Yuki (& later he's son) & he's flat out harrasing of anyone wearing the school uniform in a none tradishinal way or anyone with an unusual hair colour (despite him bassically admitting that the school officials had already said that Momiji, Haru & Kyo's appearances were ok)

23. Kimi- I like her & she's obviously iconic but honestly the way she treats Machi kind of borders on bullying sometimes for me

24. Hiro- he's a child & I like him but when we first met him you can't deny he was being a grade A shit to Tohru, Kisa & everyone else (& he fucks up again with Tohru during the beach arc)

25. Rin- love her so much but the first time she met Tohru she did try to kick her in the head while in her horse form which you know isn't great & she was rather antagonistic towards Yuki for no real vaild reason

26. Kyo- using Yuki as a scape goat he's entire life even when he knew none of the terrible things that had happened to him were actually he's fault, hurting Tohru in he's true form (I get that he wasn't in he's right mind & was suffering greatly but it still wasn't good) & rejecting Tohru after everything they had been through in the way that he did (again he wasn't in he's right mind & was suffering greatly but it's still an incredibly low blow & I think he knew that as he tragically wanted to hurt her, similar to what he did in the true form scene, badly enough that she would finally choose to give up on him)

27. The entire zodiac (outside of Kagura & maybe Momiji)- it is revealed that the zodiac are supernaturally inclined to look down on the cat & that they know about Kyo's tragic fate yet do not plan on trying to stop it from happening as he's suffering is thier one true reprieve in the curse as no matter what happens to them they will never be as "low down" as the cat yet once the curse finally breaks for everybody almost nobody even thinks to apologises to Kyo for how he was made to be an outsider since birth

28. Naohito- decides to hate Yuki out of jelousy because he has feelings for Motoko (who clearly has feelings for Yuki) despite Yuki showing no romantic feelings for Motoko & barley sharing any kind of connection with her at all which is obviously not fair as just because you happen to be liked by someone who is liked by someone else dosn't mean you should have to except being seen as a bad person (especially as in Yuki's case he never tried to encourage Motoko's obsession with him & in fact barley notices her exsistance as they aren't in any of the same social circles & she follows the ridiculous club rule of not speaking to him without another fan club member present)

29. Yuki- rather judgmental over how others choose to present themselves in regards to gender norms

30. Momiji- I love him but he did try to take advange of Tohru not knowing how old he really was to bath with her & did actually mange to use this fact to sleep along side her one night before she found out how old he actually was (now obviously Momiji is a wonderfully kind person & clearly would never actually do anything to hurt Tohru but let's be real if someone did that to you irl you'd be pretty creeped out & understandably have a hard time trusting them again)

31. Yuki & Ayame's father- has always been complety missing from he's kids lives (& even seemingly he's wive's) despite being mentioned to be still alive & well enough to work

32. Uo's dad- getting dumped for someone else must suck especially when your left with a young child & I know he did eventually clean up he's act but there's no changing the fact that he's years as an alcholic messed up Uo really bad & could have led to her death if Kyoko hadn't stepped in

33. Kazuma- I know he had good intentions & I love him but there's no denying that he did ignore Kyo's right to free will when he removed he's bracelet & though the plan ended up making he's life better if it had gone wrong in any way then Kyo had pretty much admitted (at least to himself) in S2E9 that he would have probably killed himself that night which would have clearly destroyed Tohru

34. Kyo's mum - she was obviously treated terribly by her husband & I do feel sorry for her but her way of dealing with the situation really damaged Kyo

Your really telling me that the character you have the most issues with is a boy who said a few horrible things to the MC when he was 15 in service of someone he loved who was in pain, got told by said loved one that what he'd said was wrong, felt bad about it, befriended a lonley teen that was close to the MC, quickly grew to genuinely care about them & made them come out of thier shell, wanted to help he's half sister but knew he wasn't really the right person for the job, realised that he's new friend was, encouraged the friend & he's sister's growing connection, learned how good of a person the MC has been to he's new friend, admits to he's friend that he'd been horrible to the MC in the past but just dosn't know how to go about rectifying it (especially as she dosn't seem to remember him), introduces he's friend to he's GF (further expanding the friend's positive social circle), finally bumps into MC alone & is shocked to find out that she dose now in fact remember him & even appoliges to him + thanks him for bringing her friend out of thier shell before he comes to he's senses & assures her that she has nothing to apologise for & then visits her in the hospital when she gets injured & even goes shopping for a gift to give her beforehand (even if he dosn't end up getting her something that actually fits her personality because well duh he dosn't really know anything about her).

Out of every questionably moral thing in the series this is really the hill you wanna die on?

I just honestly can't understand it. Sure he's not perfect but then no one in the series is. That's kind of the entire point of the story, that anyone can do things that hurt people but that it's what you choose to do going forward (even if it takes you a long time) that's important & Kakeru, eventually, chose to try to do the right thing. He tried to understand Yuki even though the guy didn't seem to like him at all, he chose to check up on Machi even though she seemingly hadn't made any sign of wanting to deepen thier sibling bond, he chose to finally talk to Tohru instead of continuing the ruse that he'd never spoken to her before, he chose to come clean about what happened to Yuki despite the potential of ending their friendship (& you can't tell me once he'd realised how much Yuki cared for Tohru the very real possibility that Yuki might hate him if he found out what he'd said to her wouldn't worry him at all) & he chose to visit Tohru in the hospital instead of just wishing Yuki luck or hoping Kormaki would go so he could avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You don't have to love him or even like him but I really don't think he deserves this amount of hate (especially incomparsion to some of the other characters I've listed).

[dredshirtroberts]

Naming and Other Fun Things You Can Do With Your Trauma

Below will follow my journey to where I am today with my sexuality and romantic attraction levels and kind of be a look at where I might be with it all at this time. Because I want to figure shit out about myself for me, not because it actually matters right now, and I think taking a look at The Shit™ I’ve put myself through romantically will be a good jumping off point.

I might get TMI, as a warning, because I’m not good at keeping things to myself online. So be aware of that.

Alright so...how far back to I go? Do I start with the most recent endeavors or do I end with them? How do we accomplish this task.

Let’s start with actual romantical feelings I guess. I had a crush on the same guy for 7 years. There were other crushes during that time, one of which extended well past the end of my crush with the first guy. The 7 Year Crush was a guy I knew from church. He was a whole year older than me and he was Cool™. He had the cool guy haircut, everyone at school knew him, his parents were well known in the area, he played guitar. I liked him from age 7 to age 14 with no breaks. I finally got over him but it took a long time.

Now We’re Best Friends was fun. I acquired that crush around 10 or 11 or so - another church kid, again around a year older than me. They’re non-binary now, and one of my best friends. My crush on them was like...at least 10 years long. Again, there were some others that came and went during that time but I was a bit obsessed. They’re still really fuckin pretty but I’m at least aware they’re not actually my type and we would have been super incompatible so thanks to the universe for steering me away from that one.

The David Incident was...an attempt to get away from Now We’re Best Friends. I was 16 (going on 17, dahdah dee dahdeedaahhh). I knew him through some of the people we hung out with (ironically, NWBF was one of those people. I had a very small circle I interacted with - I’d say I was friends with them but they turned out to not be very good friends so, yeah...). We’d hung out at a couple of “parties” our mutualest friend held. I went to my sister’s dance recital for the dance school that same mutualest friend went to, so The David Incident was there watching her perform I guess. I never questioned why he was there I just knew he was. Why was he there? They weren’t that close.... huh.

Anyway, he complimented a necklace I’d gotten from my Nana that year for my birthday that I was wearing to the event (cause you dress up nice for your lil sister’s dance recital. Especially because the entire family shows up). We texted a bit and he asked me out on a date. We hung out pretty regularly for about 2 weeks. Mostly watching documentaries and making out, honestly. He tasted like doritos. It was kinda gross. He was also, I would later find out, a conservative neckbeard, so dodged a fucking bullet when he left me for his ex girlfriend he wasn’t over yet. They broke up again three months later and he’s married now to someone he met in college through the military program at the school. 

I’m jumping over the Really Bad Choices I Made At Church Camp because he was technically too old for the event, I knew him for a total of 3 days, and he proposed to me after a week of text-only conversation. He also went into the military. This...actually this does become a theme. All my absolute worst decisions went into the military. Hmm.

Anyway where was I...

Okay so Really Bad Church Camp Choices, The David Incident...

And then I was on my own until I was in college. I’m going to count this next one as a contributing factor even though the entire relationship was completely platonic with no intention of going further (except..did I want it to? We’ll go into that I guess).

I Should Have Known Better is what I’ll call this one. This is the only relationship I had with a woman that will be listed on here because most of my relationships with women are friendship only. But this was...a lot more intense than just friendship. And I at one point wanted to be more than friends with her. 

We met in class while I was in college. I had just come back from the deep south and was high on Megachurch Neo Baptist Doctrine and also whatever the people in the parking lot of the school were smoking during breaks between classes. It was probably weed. We struggled with the class because the class was shit and taught by someone who could not teach and would not recognize her own failings.

I Should Have Known Better was the first person since I’d started attending college courses to talk to me about things that weren’t class related. She invited me to hang out - she was 3 years older than me, lived on her own (with roommates, but it felt like she had the place to herself), she had a dog, and she did Grown Up Things like drinking and she sometimes smoked weed and my tiny freshly converted and c-sectioned out of the womb of attempting to be born again heart was all a pitterpatter at the thought that I was an adult and I could do that. She got me involved in online dating, we went to Disney together where I footed most of the bill (this is also where my financial struggles started up, though there was a nice long period where I was doing very well by my standards which are low but not bad). We decided to move in together because we were able to stand being around one another all the time and enjoyed it. We talked about becoming even adultier adults and moving into houses right next door to one another, where we’d have our husbands and we’d hang out all the time and it’d be great. There was one point shortly after our move where she had a pregnancy scare, and I was prepared to become the dad of that baby because the potential father was Not Good. Thankfully it was unfounded, but that’s how invested I was with her.

The place we moved into we shared with 2 other girls. These girls did not mesh well with I Should Have Known and this is where the name comes from. She didn’t handle the conflict well, none of us did, because none of us were over the age of 24. But I knew I Should Have Known and I knew it wasn’t her fault that all these other girls didn’t like her, they were just bitches who were immature because that’s what she told me they were. I never really knew the other side of the story.

Anyway we were 4 months into our lease and ISHK wanted the two of us to break the lease and move out. I couldn’t afford moving out and potentially owing 2 rents. The landlord wouldn’t let us out of the lease just because we (she) didn’t get along with the people we moved in with. They were all unwilling to try a subleasing agreement, and I had to make a decision as to whether or not I was going to owe rent at 2 separate places. Mind you, of the two of us I was the only one with a steady job and I was able to make rent and bills and feed 2 people. That was it, that was all I was able to do. I couldn’t afford her rent on top of mine - her dad was helping her.

And the thought that I could move in with her somewhere where it would just be the two of us and I might have to cover my rent (an unknown at this point), the rent at the place we were currently living, our food and bills, and potentially part of her rent if her dad wasn’t willing to help with 2 separate rents? I couldn’t do that. I consulted the cards, I freaked out and went to my family that she’d been slowly working on pitting me against for the past year or so of knowing her, went back to the cards, and spent the entirety of Thanksgiving break just in the worst state. I have always bitten my nails, especially when things get stressful. That was the first time I drew blood and it happened on more than one finger. It was bad.

I told her I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave the apartment. After the lease was up I’d be more than happy to change locations because it was only one year. She...didn’t like that. She told me that staying would ruin her mental health which was already bad, she told me that it would kill her to stay, that living with these two other girls was signing her death warrant.

That was the first time I didn’t just let someone talk me into something I didn’t want to do. Thinking about it is kind of giving me some really shitty reactions in my chest, but...but I did it. I told her I wasn’t going to leave. I sat through her reaction, I planned for her to tell me to never speak to her again, to give her back all the things she’d ever given me or lent me or anything. I sorted out my laundry so I could have her items separate. I was planning on losing my best friend because she couldn’t live with two other people.

The argument that caused all of this, by the way? Dirty dishes. I was the one who ended up cleaning them, as a side note.

ISHK ended up inducing vomiting in the shower after our major blow out about it, while I was sorting through the items she’d given me. I don’t know if it really was that she was crying so hard that she vomited or if she did it on purpose. She told me when she was done that she didn’t want to lose me as a friend, and that she’d stay with me because she couldn’t leave on her own, and also because it wasn’t fair that I be subjected to these two evil girls by myself. She had me clean the bathtub after her, and I did it. I was just glad she wasn’t angry at me and wasn’t leaving me.

Things were strained. She met a guy online, they hit it off over winter break. She’d gone to be with her parents during that time so it was literally just me and one of the other girls in the apartment for nearly a month. Learned some of the other side of the story on that one.

She comes back, she brings the guy with her to hang out. We smoke weed together, he seems alright. They plan on making brownies. You know, special brownies. In the communal kitchen. 

She has me go to the one other girl - the one I spent time with during the winter break because it was just the two of us in the apartment - to make sure that it was okay. Even though no matter what the answer was, it was going to happen anyway. The other girl was not pleased, because our agreement was that she and I could smoke but we kept it to our wing of the apartment.

Thankfully this other girl did seem to recognize that I would not do something that directly went against what we’d all agreed on if the other party said no had ISHK not been there. The cops were called, only ISHK got in trouble (she could have lumped me in with her, but she was trying to keep her new boyfriend out of trouble. She didn’t have to, I guess). This did not help relations with the other roommates, of course. She was convinced it was the one who I’d stayed with over the holidays that had caused all the trouble - when not only was that kind of a projection, but also inaccurate because the person who hadn’t been doing their dishes in the first place was the 4th roommate who has been relatively unmentioned due to the fact that I barely spoke to her.

She moved in with her boyfriend when the lease was up, they eventually got married. She did a volunteer stint with a group who she later introduced me to. I feared losing her after the November Incident and let her use me like a doormat a lot more after that. Through the volunteer group I met my next mistake, but we’ll get there. She actually pushed me into trying to have a relationship with him, but I’ve now learned that I should probably not date people who identify as heavily armed and armored combat vehicles so at least there’s that.

I became so attached to this woman that I wanted to be in a more romantically inclined relationship with her and her husband. I never brought this up specifically but we were entirely too codependent on one another. She required me to build herself up and validate her worldview. I required her because I felt I had no one else.

Through the volunteer group I learned that that’s not how healthy friendships or relationships look for the most part. There were aspects that weren’t so bad, of course. I wouldn’t have been her friend for four years straight otherwise. But we were not healthy together. She may not have been abusive necessarily but she and I were toxic together.

And I should have known. At least that something was wrong earlier than I did. Because of her I moved away from my hometown. The intention was to be closer to her. Everything was finalized and then...I had to make a decision. It was her or the new group of friends who didn’t require me to be anything more than myself. I could explore my boundaries and enforce them in a safe and healthy environment and they would be respected. I had people who supported me and loved me and didn’t mind that I was a little strange because they were all a little strange and I loved them for it. Still do, by the way. <3

So my choices were someone who made me choose between being financially stable or potentially ruining everything I’d just set up four months out of my parents house and got mad at me when I made the right decision because it wasn’t what she wanted. Someone who tried to turn me against my family and very nearly succeeded - whether it’s what she intended or not that’s what she was doing. Someone who when I told her I shouldn’t have to choose because 1) it really wasn’t as big a deal as she was making it out to be and 2) I shouldn’t have known ANYTHING about the situation, specifically the things that were supposed to be confidential between her and the main person she had an issue with (who happened to have a very dominant personality - this was a theme), she told me she felt like killing herself.

And if she killed herself because of this it was my fault.

That’s what she told me. Thankfully for me I was at work an hour away and could not drop what I was doing and rush to her side. I would have, if my dad hadn’t stepped in and said “if she were really honestly going to do it, she wouldn’t tell you like that.” Which, yeah might be a shitty way of putting it, but also was true.

I chose not her. I didn’t necessarily choose the volunteer group because for me that’s not the choice I was making. I was choosing to be beside her for another however long it was, alone with no one but her, because she didn’t want me to have anyone else, until she decided she didn’t like the way things were going and pulled this shit again - or not any of that. Of being responsible for only me, emotionally, financially.

I was also beginning a relationship with The Warzone and I couldn’t separate him from her from the volunteer group. 

Those next few months were rough for me. When she finally calmed down from everything, she tried to get back into my life. I requested she wait until I contact her again because I was still working through my thoughts and feelings and I didn’t need her influence in that process. I knew it would not be helpful. She would give me about a day, maybe two, before texting me again. This reset everything for me because I could not deal with her and with my still conflicted - and very hurt - feelings about the situation. And I asked her again to please respect my request. This happened several times and I finally stopped responding to her altogether.

There were only two terse emails after that, where she had me come collect my things from her house and leave my key while she was not there. The exchange happened quickly and quietly and I didn’t hear from her for several years after that.

I was with The Warzone for the summer. Considering my longest lasting romantic relationship to this point had been about 2 weeks, this was a novelty to me. I was convinced this was it, this was the time I’d done something right, after all my bad choices this was a good thing.

He had some troubles, and had things that had become roadblocks but he had a job, he had his own place, he had a direction he wanted to go in. So I’d just graduated college and he was still in college life? I was still roughly the same age as his friends, I could still hang and party. My life wasn’t that different. 

Our major struggles were mainly that we lived about an hour apart, and we didn’t communicate very well. Or at all, really.

I was anxious and terrified. I hadn’t started working through all my shit yet. I didn’t even know there was shit to work through. I was grieving the loss of my best friend and I had no idea that was even happening. 2 best friends, actually. NWBF had moved really far away and I was still crushing on them super hard. I eventually told them I couldn’t be friends with them until I figured my shit out. That was hard.

I was going through a really rough patch and self medicating with alcohol and more weed because I apparently had found another pothead in Warzone.

Warzone was also my first partner I’d ever had sex with. I don’t regret Warzone necessarily, but I do regret that I invested so much in the relationship, to the point that I blatantly ignored several signs that this was not going the way I wanted it to. His own struggles led to him realizing he couldn’t be in a relationship with me. I still am fucked up over the phrasing he used, because no one wants to be described as a roller coaster the other person doesn’t want to ride on anymore.

And he did this before we were set to hang out with people through the volunteer group. I am incredibly, incredibly thankful for the people who allowed me to lean on them while I was there, who knew the situation. We kept our PDA in the group to a minimum anyway so if you didn’t know we were together, you wouldn’t know unless we told you. He showed up high about an hour after I’d gotten there. I’d showed up early because I’d had to leave after he broke up with me, and I had a nice long tantrum cry in my car in a small parking lot downtown and couldn’t be alone anymore. 

My roommate at the time treated me to drinks, helped me get set up on a dating website after some wine on a different night, and was generally supportive throughout the process. I think her change in behavior towards me should have clued me in about The Ex a lot sooner, but oh well.

Because of the dating apps/sites I signed up on, I met The Ex. That whole debacle played out through my posts on here for the most part because this is where I process everything, so if you’ve been with me for a while you’re pretty familiar with my mental state while I was with him. I was constantly justifying his behaviors and actions and no one who loved me liked him but no one said anything either.

They all have carte blanche to tell me when they don’t like someone I’m dating from here on out - not that I plan on doing that much in the future, but I wanted them aware of it. After ISHK and The Ex, I need outside input to show me I’m not making good decisions with the people I’m choosing to keep in my life despite the fact that they treat me like dirt.

ISHK laid the groundwork for The Ex to fully isolate me from my family. Not only was I farther away from them than I’d ever been in my life, but he took me from the job that allowed me to see them regularly. He encouraged me to skip family events. I missed nearly 5 years of my family’s lives because of this man.

When I left him, I was already emotionally done with him. So I thought I’d be ready to try again. It may have been compensation for my loneliness, for my isolation, still so far away from my family even though they at least were aware I was struggling. I couldn’t let myself rely on them yet.

Still can’t.

So I turned back to the dating apps. And I met The Pittsburgh Mistake.

He was nice, charming. I’ll admit when I met him a gaydar went off - the one that says “Oh, this might be a trans guy”. You know all the signals we queer folk give off to one another to say “Hey other queer folk guess what I’m one of you please don’t let me be alone”? There were multiple that read as trans guy.

He was not. I wish he had been. But no he was a redpill, conservative nightmare. And he was abusive as FUCK. We went on an outing and he didn’t tell me the plan was to stay overnight somewhere. He just had me drive him around and we finally got up there and he was like okay let’s go get a room for the night.

That was the first sign.

Then he was like “Hey I gotta go back to Pittsburgh to get all my things so I can move down this way, wanna come with me?” Thinking it was going to be another overnight, maybe a 2 night stay maximum, I said sure. 

We were there for almost a week. He’d driven so I couldn’t just leave. He didn’t seem to have any intention of actually doing anything to move his stuff, or sell it, or anything. He flirted with other women nearly the entire time - which I didn’t have an issue with him seeing other people, but I wasn’t, I don’t think, prepared for him to do it while I was with him. Like out with him. On things that other people might have considered dates. I’ve mentioned, however, that he took me to a huge museum and I nearly did forget that I had no idea how long we were going to be up there, I had no spare clothes - just one outfit, he would actively ignore me to flirt with other women, and he wasn’t doing anything to move the situation along with his move.

I’d picked back up on smoking while I was with him. I’ve smoked cigarettes a few times in my life. I can quit cold turkey pretty easily and that’s not an issue, it’s just...I shouldn’t do it. It’s bad for me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that my mom’s family has a tendency to acquire rare lung cancer that’s exacerbated by smoking. The other is that I have a penchant for getting bronchitis, like, all the time. But I was smoking a lot more heavily than I had previous times, even when I was smoking a lot of weed daily with ISHK, I didn’t smoke nearly as much as I did with The Pittsburgh Mistake.

The other thing that was a huge major red flag I should have been more cognizant of is how he made it my fault if he couldn’t keep it up or get it in during sex. I was doing something wrong, I wasn’t good enough or prepped enough, even though he’d done literally nothing to help things along. It was be ready to go whenever he wanted it, or be told I was worthless and useless and I must not really like him if he couldn’t get it in.

He got really drunk and wouldn’t know what he was doing, and he got really uncomfortable to be around while he was drunk. He claimed he wasn’t an alcoholic but i know he was using it as a crutch for whatever was going on in his brain. He projected his issues onto everyone else. It was everyone else’s fault, not his. They were crazy, not him. 

When he started talking about being godlike in a decidedly blasphemous way, I figured there was definitely something wrong. When he continually invited his other girlfriend over while I was still there, despite the fact that both of us had been vocal about it being uncomfortable for us, I knew I needed to get out.

When he broke a window right next to my head because I was trying to leave because he’d invited her over again without saying anything to either of us until he’d already made the decision, and he was drunk enough to not remember it even as it was happening, I knew I needed to run and never come back.

I gave him one last chance. I asked him if he knew why I was upset, and he said something bullshit I don’t even remember. I told him about himself and he accused me of gaslighting him. Which??? Telling you you’re an asshole and that I am uncomfortable when you bring your other girlfriend over and haven’t discussed it with me, especially since I’ve told you  multiple times I’m incredibly uncomfortable in that situation is not gaslighting. But he thought he was a genius and so smart and so close after The Ex who had a god complex and thought he was a genius and so smart, I knew I needed out and fast.

He literally sent me a text with a screen shot of a bible verse saying “I am a jealous god” yadda yadda and something about I’ll end up dying alone if I continue being however I was being. Like, thanks, but no thanks I don’t even believe in the Christian God, I’m not going to believe you, some random redpill douche who literally broke a window because I wasn’t putting up with his bullshit anymore, is a god either. I’m very proud of my response.

“LOL, okay bye.”

Like, sorry, bro. You gotta feed me a way more intricate story than just that you think you’re god incarnate. The Ex at least told me he could travel through alternate dimensions and universes and pulled me through along with him at some point from another universe - not his, but a different one, because he loved me so much. You gotta try a lot harder on the god complex in order to top that one, buddy.

yeah I wish I was kidding about the above. I also wish I was kidding when I tell you I believed it.

I’m still working on not believing it. I don’t feel like i belong in this universe a lot of the time, and playing into that did not help. And it’s especially not helpful when I’m super depressed and feeling mildly suicidal. So that’s been fun to deal with since I’ve gotten away from him.

Anyway, those are my relationship mistakes. Warzone almost doesn’t count because it wasn’t necessarily a mistake, but I shouldn’t have been in a romantic relationship so soon after the ISHK incidents.

And through all of this, one of the weirdest things for me is realizing that when I was in relationships? I didn’t necessarily feel any draw to be any sort of way with people. Like, I was with The Ex for 4 1/2 years, and while I loved him I wasn’t romantically in love with him. Which I didn’t realize until I was on my way out of loving him at all because he was treating me poorly. I was physically attracted to The Pittsburgh Mistake, but I knew that wasn’t a long-term deal from the outset. But I wasn’t necessarily sexually attracted to him. I have a high sex drive that sometimes clouds my judgement and I know that was a part of it, but he wasn’t *sexy*. Neither was The Ex. I found him attractive, aesthetically, but he wasn’t *sexy* necessarily. I told him I found him sexy because he didn’t understand otherwise and I thought I was helping. I was actually making it worse but I didn’t know. I felt giddy around The David Incident because I was 16 and was excited that I was finally dating someone because I’d never really done it before. I was just downright stupid with the Bad Choices I Made At Church Camp and that one I will own, but again I was 16 and lonely. Now We’re Best Friends has been the only one that worked out and I think honestly it was the LGBT+ flocking instinct. 

I Should Have Known was the only one I feel came closest to romantic feelings and honestly I think that was more stockholm-obsession than actually anything romantic.

So while I’m a sucker for a good love story, while I love the thought of being in a loving romantic relationship, I’m not sure I’m actually romantic? Like? 

There was a post the other day that was like “I’m in love with being in love, but I’m Aro-spec" and I was like??? That’s a thing???

And then I was listening to someone else who said they were cupioromantic and I looked up what that meant because I don’t know the aro-labels as well as the asexual labels and I was like???? That’s a THING??????

So, I’m still figuring myself out. I thought I was nearly there and then I remembered I don’t make anything easy for myself. I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum. My sexual attraction is very limited to what I definitely have zero chance with and that’s because it’s safe. Also it’s very aesthetically based, not powered by my genitals or hormones. As to whether or not I’m Aro as well? We’re still working on that.

But this was apparently more about me processing my trauma more than figuring out my labels since that’s what happened. I’m still working on my labels. I may never figure it out. It might change and then I’ll be really fucked which’ll be fun.

So anyway...did you really read this far down? Holy fuck this is so long, well done. You deserve a cookie or a glass of water or at least stand up and stretch like goodness you must be exhausted. Thanks for supporting and loving me and for being here with me while I try to figure out what the fuck is going on in my life.

I love you.

#the captain rambles #this is incredibly long and very personal but I wouldn't post it if I didn't mind y'all reading it #It's mostly about the shit I've gone through over the years as relating to my personal relationships with those outside my family #and then at the very tail end is me pondering labels and what they mean to me #I just really like coming up with fun names to call the crazy shit that happens in my life #because it makes it seem less terrible than it sometimes was #because there've been some shitty things that i've gone through #but hopefully we're moving towards a better place now

[themattress]

Rewatch: My Bride is a Mermaid - Conclusion

The manga Seto No Hanayome was one that relied heavily on visual comedy and Japanese wordplay, as is common with most gag mangas, and it ended up being nigh untranslatable as a result. It’s anime adaptation, however, played to its unique strengths of movement and voice-acting, and the English dub version My Bride is a Mermaid is an excellent translation; I don’t think there was a single bad performance out of the main cast and I honestly prefer most of the dub voice actors’ portrayals to the original Japanese ones. And since it’s a Seiji Kishi anime which means a lot of screaming at top volume, these voice actors are to be praised even more for risking throwing out their vocal cords out of commitment to their work. 

Furthermore, I honestly believe that this 26-episode anime is superior to the manga, and to the four Japanese-exclusive OVA episodes it later got that adapted other manga stories. The anime stopped at the exact equivalent to the end of the manga’s first half, volume 8. The manga would go on until volume 16, and while there were good moments and even a few outright good stories in this second half, it suffered from an influx of new characters that lacked the charm of the ones we already had and were more often than not redundant. 

Satori Sarutobi, Chimp’s little sister, was at first a one-shot character in the manga’s first half, in a chapter that was adapted as one of the OVA episodes. It would have been fine if that was all of her, but in the second half of the manga she suddenly was brought back as a recurring character and part of Nagasumi’s “harem”, which really did not need a little sister type in it (does any anime harem?) The second half of the manga began with the debut of Saturn, which was the basis for another OVA episode. In said OVA, Saturn was toned down into an innocent one-shot character who didn’t mean to scare and attack anyone and only wanted to see her childhood friend Sun again, returning to the sea without incident after she does. But in the actual manga, Saturn was a horrible bitch and a lesbian yandere who was in love with Sun and wanted to sabotage anyone who she saw as in her way, male and female alike. Not only is she a rehash of the “Sun’s childhood friend who is a screwed up person and gay for her” concept we already had with Lunar except done in a far less appealing way, but she then rehashes Gozaburo’s role by becoming a teacher at the school and the most frequent antagonist for a good many chapters following her introduction.

Sugio is literally Kamata’s twin brother and it makes no sense to include him when Kamata could have just been used for whatever roles he plays. Tenchou is the owner of a maid cafe that Akeno is forced to work at to pay off a debt, which draws in most of the other girls to work there too for chapters upon chapters, the first of which was the basis for an OVA episode. He could have been interesting as the straight man to the merpeople antics around him, but he’s kept too much at a distance from them, to the point where his design is altered in the OVA and his role is a mute, stationary one. The last new character who got adapted into an OVA episode is a recurring school delinquent named Emperor, who eventually got an incredibly disturbing chapter where it’s revealed he’s a fully-grown man who got perpetually held back in middle school, and who lusts after Lunar up until the chapter’s end where he gives up and goes home...with his wife and daughter. Yeah, that’s not funny, that’s just uncomfortable. 

We later got Jupiter, a kind of counterpart to Saturn except that she’s in love with Akeno, has an absurdly androgynous design, and is characterized by how utterly useless she is. Her desperate, stalker-y antics to get Akeno to return her affections are more annoying than humorous, and she’s so pathetic as an antagonist that the Last Amazoness is made to be more dangerous! Fuki is later introduced as Maki’s lookalike sister (her redundancy is such that it’s said that she was literally called “Maki #2″ in her childhood), and she serves Maruko Okhotsk, a teenage yakuza boss and creepy religious zealot who is yet another childhood friend of Sun’s who is obsessed with her to an insane degree and who ends up becoming yet another member of Nagasumi’s “harem”. You see what I mean about the redundancy issue?

The only new character I really appreciate is Amano Edomae, Lunar’s mother who sheds new light on Lunar’s childhood and motivations for becoming an idol, and is an interesting character in her own right who compliments her daughter and ex-husband well. Shortly after her introduction we go into the final story arc, which gives us 1/8th Figurine, a pixie-esque mer-noble later revealed to be a goddess who has no personality beyond providing long, drawn-out exposition, and Maki Yuri, a pupil of Akeno’s who recycles the name of a pre-existing character, rehashes Jupiter’s concept as a potential lesbian love interest for Akeno, and basically plays the same role that Akeno did in the anime’s finale since Akeno had developed to the point where she couldn’t play it here meaning a replacement was needed.

The manga’s finale, btw, is nowhere near as impactful as the anime’s, since Yoshio is a very different character here (an out-and-out catfish who was previously just a one-shot from the manga’s first half, who wants Sun so that he can make her the new sea goddess and rule through her), his forces fight the heroes by invading the school rather than the heroes taking the fight to him in his stronghold, the charmless new characters are involved and there are weaker roles for many of the older ones (Kai and Gozaburo especially are worse off), the resolution is anti-climactic (Nagasumi and Sun impale Yoshio with that magic spear that was used on Nagasumi when he was turned into a giant, which purifies the evil in Yoshio’s heart and makes him reform), and all of the humans involved in the battle, Nagasumi included, get their memories of it wiped Mewtwo-style by 1/8th Figurine which means they don’t get to savor the victory. The last chapter is just a random beach day for everyone, and while all the characters are left on the most appropriate note for them, it still feels underwhelming and even kind of forced (Nagasumi asks Sun to marry him here after she saves him from drowning again just like in the first chapter, and it’s revealed that she’d given him CPR back then so Masa wasn’t his first kiss after all...because that really needed to be clarified, right?)

Aside from the events and characterizations of episode 13 and episode 18 being far better portrayed, the only thing that I think the manga truly has over the anime is how Akeno’s story and character develop. I think I came to love Akeno even more on this rewatch than I did the first time around, and it was kind of disappointing that the anime ends before anything more can come out of the reveals in episode 23. The manga actually continues that plotline and by the end Akeno finds out that Masa is her brother and they get to have a formal reconciliation, and Akeno in general feels like an even stronger character who’s grown so much more by the end of the manga when compared to the end of the anime. Which isn’t to say that she and her development in the anime is bad, because it isn’t at all - it just feels notably incomplete. I’d gladly trade all four OVA episodes we got for one long OVA about Akeno; she deserves it.

And now, to wrap things up, my top 10 favorite characters and episodes:

1. Sun Seto 2. Lunar Edomae 3. Mawari Zenigata 4. Akeno Shiranui 5. Gozaburo Seto 6. Nagasumi Michishio 7. Kai Mikawa 8. Masa 9. Ren Seto 10. Papa Edomae

1. Episode 8: Duel* 2. Episode 26: The Place You Go Home To* 3. Episode 19: There's No Business Like Show Business 4. Episode 24: Farewell, My Friend 5. Episode 11: Armageddon 6. Episode 2: The Lord of the Ring 7. Episode 23: The Man Without a Past 8. Episode 17: Cops vs. Thugs 9. Episode 22: Privilege 10. Episode 6: Faibles Femmes   * Honorable mention to episodes 7 and 25, which are the set-up for these ones.

What else is left to say but: Honor Among Thieves is Honor Under the Seas!

#My Bride is a Mermaid #Opinion #Analysis

[evanvvoods]

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚

warnings: implied/referenced child & spousal abuse

tw: parental death

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF EVAN WOODS: A PLAY IN FIVE ACTS

act i: the days were bright red

ellingham, qc (0-14)

evan michael woods was born on may 4th, 1995 as the first child of jacob and samantha woods. jacob, the owner of a semi-successful auto repair shop, was ecstatic about having a son and heir who would carry on the family name and his business, which he built from nothing. samantha, a hospice nurse, was just glad to have a healthy child. she hoped that becoming a father would help to shift jacob’s attention from his business to his family, because he spent long hours working and very little time at home. unfortunately for her, his priorities never shifted. not when evan was born. not when lillian was born, nor olivia, nor rosanne. in fact, as time went on, jacob grew increasingly obsessed with his business, wanting to expand it beyond a simple auto repair shop into a nationwide brand. as he became more invested in his work, samatha grew more invested in her children. she quit her job at the maison des marguerites, which she loved, to make sure her kids never felt their father’s absence.

jacob doted on evan, often speaking of him as if he were his only child, boasting about how he would grow up to be just like his father, a hard-worker and an astute businessman, even before evan had spoken his first words. on the rare occurrences when jacob would be home for dinner with his family, he would hardly spare his daughters a glance, choosing only to speak to his son. evan’s sisters began to resent evan for being the sole receiver of their father’s attention and often deigned to exclude him from their conversations like their father did to them. it wasn’t until years later when they learned that jacob’s attention was not something to be jealous of. as adults, they were grateful they only received their mother’s love and none of their father’s attention.

growing up, evan felt trapped in the mould his father had carved out for him. he wanted to make his own choices, his own mistakes, live his life like every other kid, not follow a rigorous schedule planned out by his father from his birth to (according to his father) his inevitable rise to fortune as a auto repair magnate. he didn’t even know what magnate meant, if he was being honest, only that he wanted nothing to do with his father’s business or auto repair or anything of the kind. the thing that evan loved more than anything was music. with school as his only escape from his father’s scrutiny, evan spent as much time as he possibly could in his school’s musicroom, learning how to play every instrument he could get his hands on.

samantha, who loved all of her kids equally, encouraged them all to follow their interests, including evan. she would listen to him talk about all the new things he had learned in music class when she tucked him into bed at night and she noticed there was a light in his eyes when he talked about music that was missing when his father was around. she managed to save some money and buy evan a guitar, without his father’s knowledge. the guitar was evan’s prized possession from age 10 to 14, until his father found it in the garage. jacob was furious with his wife for encouraging their son to waste his precious time on something that would take him nowhere in life. he smashed the guitar into pieces and forbade evan from playing music ever again. his father often went on rants about how musicians were lazy and too stupid to amount to anything, especially rockstars, who were effeminate and indecent, but after the guitar incident, his hate for musicians became more pronounced.

it was a few weeks after the incident when his mother picked him and his sisters up from school and drove them to the nearest airport, saying that they were going to boston for a week to visit her sister. except a week turned into two, and two turned into four, and then years had passed since any of the woods children had set foot in ellingham. jacob tried to contact evan on many occasions, he was furious at samantha for taking away his heir, and even tried to get custody of evan, but samantha fought tooth and nail to keep all of her kids together and away from jacob. it was a difficult divorce, seeing as samantha had no proof of her claims that jacob was a bad father and husband. to the outside world, he was a hardworking man, loving husband, and caring father. but less than a year after they’d left their entire lives behind, they were finally free of jacob.

act ii: and suddenly darkness, suddenly only darkness

boston, ma (14-18)

distraught at having to leave his friends behind, but overjoyed to finally have the freedom to live his life on his own terms, evan began to settle into his life in boston. samantha’s sister, lesley, was married and had no children of her own, so she was more than happy to let samantha and the kids stay in her home. samantha got a job as a nurse, the children enrolled in new schools, and life went on. or it should have. the divorce was costly, not just in emotional terms, but financially, and samantha had very few savings to begin with. evan, terrified of ending up back with his father, got an after school job to help out his family. the after-school job soon turned into two, which turned into three, and then he dropped out of school altogether when he was 17.

despite their situation, they still had dreams. samantha dreamt of a life where she would be home for the holidays instead of stuck in a hospital ward with the sick and elderly. evan dreamt of music school and his songs playing on the radio. his sisters had dreams, too. lillian dreamt of culinary school and michelin stars. olivia dreamt of her name on a marquee and her face on billboards all around the world. rosanne, the entrepeneur their father had always wanted, dreamt of an app which would help people with disabilities find free services which would make their lives easier. they all had dreams, but someone had to make sacrifices for the others to follow them. that someone was evan. shortly after his 18th birthday, evan enlisted in the us army, hoping the increased pay would be enough to make a difference to his family.

act iii: in gold light, as the camera pans to where the action is,

various locations (18-22)

evan dedicated 4 years of his life to the us army, before he was honourably discharged following an explosion which took out most of the hearing in his left ear, as well as half of his unit. throughout those 4 years, he was stationed in many places around the world and he kept in touch with his family mostly through letters. unbeknownst to everyone, he wrote another set of letters, a set that he never sent, to his best friend back in ellingham. he hadn’t spoken to him since the day he had left and never tried to contact him after. his mother had decided it was best if they cut all ties with ellingham, to shake off the years spent there like a bad dream. at the time he had only agreed because he had no way to contact his friend, not with the sudden way they had left, and then as time passed, he realized his mother was right and he pushed his friend to the back of his mind.

but out there in the cold, desolate deserts, and the bleak, sterile army barracks, he thought of his friend often. he would lie awake at night in his cot or on a cold floor or a bed of sand, and he would remember him and he would let himself feel like that optimistic little boy again. just for a moment, his life was full of possibility and promise and friendship which was built around shared interests and happy memories and camaraderie, not survival and necessity and proximity. he would write to him and he would say all of the things he couldn’t say to anyone else. and then he would tuck the letter under his pillow or into his jacket and it brought him a sense of comfort that nothing else did. sometimes he considered the possibility of actually sending one. but he never did it.

he hardly speaks of his time in the army, but if he had the chance, he wouldn’t go back and take back his decision, because as he’d hoped, his sacrifice gave all of his sisters a chance to pursue their dreams.

act iv: the trees and the trees and the space between the trees, swimming in gold

boston, ma (22-24)

when he returned home to boston, his sisters were on their way to becoming everything they’d imagined. lillian, now 21, was in the best culinary school in boston. olivia, 19, was studying film and working as a production assistant in vancouver. and roxanne, 17, had just been accepted into a computer science program at boston university. his mother mostly made it home for the holidays and she got to spend time with her family more often than she ever could have if she were the only one working to support the family. evan was glad to see his family so happy, after everything they had been through, but he couldn’t help feeling resentful at times. he still didn’t regret his decisions, but he wished things were different and he could do what he loved.

he got a job as a mechanic, because it was the one thing he knew how to do, after all the years he spent with his father in the shop as a child. he hated it, just as he’d hated the violence of the army, but it was just one more sacrifice he had to make. it was difficult for him to adjust to civilian life again, and his family saw it. they saw how much he did for them and it hurt them to see him suffering while they were thriving. the encouraged him to pursue music again, but all he could see when he closed his eyes was the smashed remnants of a guitar.

still, after a heartfelt conversation with samantha, evan decided that he couldn’t continue on the path he was on. life in the city just wasn’t for him, maybe it never was, and he needed to get away. jacob had passed a few years back, while evan was still in active duty. to his surprise, jacob had left him his house and his business in his will, which made no mention of his 3 daughters. evan had simply allowed the business to continue as it was, letting the old manager take care of it, and renting the house out for extra income. however, since he was an army veteran on a budget who was looking for an escape from the city, he decided that he should give ellingham a second chance. he thought, maybe if he went back, made some positive memories there, it could make up for all the bad. he would take his father’s legacy of cold and calculated decisions and turn it into something good, something he and his family could be proud of.

act v: and the dark blue over everything, and them holding their breath—

ellingham, qc (24–)

that is how evan woods found himself back in his home town, 10 years later, a much different person than he had been when he left. the town had changed, too, including the people, but it was still ellingham, it was still home.

he came to ellingham with the goal of rewriting his past and making new memories to replace the old. but he’s also there to revisit the past and learn and grow from it. he wants to reconnect with his old self, who had hopes and dreams and the naiveté to think he could achieve them.

#about evan #full bio

[hellobengski]

In Another World: Japan 2019

Maybe to love is to learn – and learning Japan for quite some time is just beautiful with all its chaotic yet fulfilling desire at heart.

December is the season for family and friends and having to spend it another country again is different – a very memorable one. It is such a good grace of embracing new culture from a 5 hour trip  away from home – living a temporary life, what it’s like to live in a world where everything seemed to be provided. The place itself is an art, where you can experience the calmness of the streets although I had to enjoy the freezing weather in which I was forced to wear almost four layers of clothing, including multiple heat packs to keep us going along the way. Nevertheless, Japan has its own way of welcoming you to the best possible ways it could offer, making exceptional memories of more than a dream.

Japan is in the top of my bucket list yet the very least to make it happen when I was younger. Given that it’s expensive, it requires you to apply for visa in which chosen people are only given the opportunity to process it. Maybe timing wasn’t for us then hence watching anime films was an alternative way to feel it. Japanese characters itself with perfectly triangular shaped faces used to be my hidden desire, like there’s something mystical about their personalities. And maybe timing could be right too. It could be right when the High Power allows you – specifically when you’re ready.

I have no idea what to hate in a place where it appears to be perfect. Utopia, as what they say. I went with a group of twenty people with various ages and personalities so there were two things that needed to be considered in this trip; to conform and to be patient. I have watched some documentaries, travel vlogs, and even movies like Hachiko to prepare myself with an expectant heart.

From there, I know Japan would lead us to wander and be lost.

Upon arriving in Japan, our group was picked up by huge sized black colored van including drivers who were definitely dressed well with their coat and tuxedo. We were late. And there is something wrong with that. It’s a bad Impression for Japanese people to be late since time is valuable – unless you have reasonable excuses. The tension was starting to fire up so I decided to apologise. The family did too. During the one-hour travel from Narita Airport to the first place where we stayed, I was mesmerized. The overwhelming emotions from visual presentations turned into reality. Maybe this is love, like seeing a person for the first time letting your head turn into 360.

Fallen leaves, chirping crows, and whistling of the winds. So this is winter – I have never felt this in my life. It surprised me as I was enjoying the giant automatic buildings. We toured several of Tokyo’s places, all of which had their own unique culture.

I experienced the towering skyscrapers and offices of Shinjuku and the shopping and pop culture of Harajuku. I learned how diverse Tokyo was: three blocks from the Tokyo Skytree, an observation tower that symbolizes Japan’s cutting-edge technology; Asakusa, an ancient Buddhist shrine where people prayed under enormous red lanterns and burnt incense for their ancestors. I noticed that this dramatic juxtaposition between the old and the new is what most characterized Japan: pop culture and technology contrasted yet blended with traditional customs and culture. While polar opposites of each other, these two aspects of Japan coexisted in perfect harmony. I believe that harmony sends an important message: you do not need to disregard the old in order to embrace the new. It is possible to honor and accept both.

And the bikes were electronic. I grew up learning how to ride a bike but never got the chance to do it in Japan. Maybe if I was just a solo traveler, I could use it to explore the clean roads.

Every train is a safe space.

With Haruki Murakami’s novel Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, fragments of imagination have conveyed my emotions to become a fan of train stations. I have seen some parts of myself through Tsukuru, how darkness made him feel as an empty person, lacking in color and identity. He was real to me. From millions of people that passed through me, he could’ve been there. That’s when I started to love the train stations even more.

They are always on time– and of course, a delay of even just one minute will result in profuse apologies from the conductor. Train stations are always staffed with employees who are ready to answer your questions and do so very well. Though we weren’t able to ride city buses, I believe they’re also great though I wasn’t sure if we can pay their fares with the same card we used to ride the train.

I have seen people coming in and out of the trains, like every person has its own story of why they needed to ride the train. On Tuesday, I remember some old man trying to stop his son from crying. On Friday night, I smelled ginger flavored beer from Japanese employees who just got off from work from Shibuya station. I liked the smell, it didn’t make me feel that I was in danger. Probably weekends are for Filipinos, like Saturday, who came all the way from Grandberry mall outlet to purchase almost half price of some original brands that are dying for.

It is just solely convenient. There were convenience stores that are open 24 hours a day and you can simply find one just about anywhere. We found some food, basic toiletry items and magazines. Another thing that’s a go-to in Japan is the vending machines. Vending machines are even more common than convenience stores, and you can find one by just walking a block or two. Most of them just sell drinks like water, coffee, tea, juice and soda. They’re usually quite cheap (100 yen at the cheapest), and you can get them hot in the winter or cold in the summer.

I personally bought drinks from vending machines almost all the time and they were worth it. And the food, oh the food. Japanese don’t have the highest life expectancy in the world for no reason. Never in my life have I tasted the best apple pie in the world until Japan let me. From its first bite down to last, it was beyond my ultimatum. No words could express it.

Even so with Ramen after a whole exhausting day, the warm soup with its perfect texture of noodles satisfied us. I believe that every food regardless if it’s in the streets or in a luxurious restaurant was served with love. They would want to make you feel like you deserve to be well treated with a quality of food that they could offer you.

Some things in life are too complicated to explain in any language but in Japan, it has brought me to both --- tranquility and complexity. The demeanor of place demanded me to breathe. It gave me the power of wanting to be alone, looking back to nostalgic feelings that I felt and decisions I have made in my life.

Until another Utopian world took me to the fun and excitement part --- Tokyo’s Disneysea, the most brilliant story world’s ever created: a living ode to Walt Disney’s love for storytelling, world-building, and lovable characters. You see, Disney isn’t just made of Story Worlds – it’s also a story world in itself, and its star is Mickey remains the most iconic character ever drawn. Mickey belongs exclusively to the world of Disney; his presence invokes the idea that all of these smaller story worlds are part of something bigger, something uniquely magical. Mickey Mouse is the linchpin to the whole operation. He’s the reminder that Disneyland is more than the sum of its parts – it’s an experience unto itself.

Ultimately, the story of Disney sea is the story of my visit. My presence with my family defines the day; we get to pick rides and shows. Disney Park will always be an “open world,” where you explore, collect things, and meet characters in whatever sequence you choose.

Until sooner I realized we have one more day left to pack things and luggage. Items that were bought in Japan were already sort out, from gadgets to food, fridge magnets and even branded shoes. My mom had to buy another big trolley to maximize all the stuff so we could all bring home the goodies.

Just before the plane took off from Narita airport, I met an amazing couple from Japan. The lady’s Filipina, Marissa Suzuki, who’s married to a Japanese and been living in Japan for 30 years. The old man, Mr. Nori Suzuki, was 20 years older than her, had 2 children who were left at home. I was sitting from the window seat trying to calm myself from my episodic anxiety. The first thing she asked me was if there’s any book to read while waiting. I told her that there were just couple of magazines but probably wouldn’t satisfy her husband. It was a budget airline. She was hardly putting her bags on the bin until her husband helped her.  And then she sat beside me. They smiled at me like they wanted to know me.

The two hour conversation started.

I felt the joy from their eyes, especially from the Japanese old man as they kept asking my whereabouts. They insisted on buying coffee and oatmeal cookies for me. I wanted to be polite so I smirked. Of course I was very hungry and didn’t eat some breakfast. They even offered wasabi nuts and matcha flavored round shaped sticky bread. I had to appreciate it although I didn’t really like the taste too much.

For once in my life, I tried staring to someone while sharing personal stories. I felt bittersweet from her expressions, how she left our country when her older sister brought her to Japan. It was like she didn’t have choice. She was only 17 back then when she faced the reality. I know she wanted to make me feel what she has been through. I could see through her eyes how she learned to love her husband from the first few years of their relationship.  The difference of the culture and language didn’t really matter to her, instead, she was challenged by it. Mr. Suzuki was quite a storyteller, I was pretty convinced that he loves the Philippines with its warm people and weather. I love his words of wisdom; to treat people equally because we all deserve it; to value time because we all work for it; to give as much as you can because there’s no better feeling than to serve.

Funny how they wanted me to date a Japanese guy, or at least I should’ve met someone in a span of week. I could always go back, but will be definitely choosing a different weather. I admit I didn’t really have good sleep from the entire trip but maybe travels are for people who seek for adventure and stories.

From what I have learned in this trip, through its any lifestyle, people have survived. And we will always be. And those who survive have a duty. Our duty is to do our best to keep on living. Even if our lives are not perfect.

With all my sincerity and respect, in another life, will always go back to you, Japan.

#japan #japantravel #japantravel2019 #holidaytrip #train #tokyo #tokyo disneysea #tokyojapan

[hopeduckling13]

Find My Way Back To You: Chapter 28

Summary:  Hope Swan-Jones is the product of the product of true love and her true love, so her having very powerful magic was always in the cards. Luckily she lives in a town where everyone is very familiar with magic, so nothing can go wrong, can it?

Or so everyone thought, but then one day as a newborn Hope accidently travels back in time with her mother Emma.

How will the past population of Storybrooke react to their Savior having another kid and being married? And more importantly will the Savior and her baby daughter find a way back home to all of their loved ones?

- - -

Catch Up:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857127/chapters/34395467

FF.NET: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12964592/1/Find-My-Way-Back-To-You

Tumblr: [Prologue] [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 17] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20] [Chapter 21] [Chapter 22] [Chapter 23] [Chapter 24] [Chapter 25] [Chapter 26] [Chapter 27]

Reblog to be tagged in future chapters

Taglist: @capswantrue 

~~~ EMMA’S POV ~~~

Hope and I have been trapped in the past for a whole month now. Every day I lose more and more confidence, that we’ll find our way back to Killian. 

Why does time-travel have to be so freaking complicated?

Probably because it hasn’t been done yet – only twice. And somehow, I’m lucky enough to have been part of it both of those times. It just doesn’t feel like a whole lot of luck. I hate it actually.

I just want to go back home to the rest of my family. I see them here, but they’re so different. It doesn’t feel like my family is here at all sometimes. Just some other people, who might act similarly as my loved ones. They also treat me just the same, I suppose. But this still doesn’t feel like home.

I can tell because I miss my version of Storybrooke. I miss my future.

I don’t know how long I can go on like this. It’s hard. 

I just want my husband back. He’s someone I can’t even really hang out with here since it’d be suspicious. We weren’t friends back then, after all.

I just miss him so bad.

Luckily, Hope doesn’t seem to be aging, despite us having been here for a whole month. She still looks like that cute 3-week-old baby. She also hasn’t learned anything new. 

That’s great since it means, Killian isn’t missing out on anything - except spending time with us. 

I wouldn’t wish that on him. I know how it feels like since I gave Henry up. I do have some fake memories of raising him from birth, but those aren’t real. I never got to see him grow up because he deserved his best chance and I couldn’t give that to him.

And it feels even worse knowing, that now I missed another big part of his life.

I don’t want that to happen to Hope and Killian, and it seems like it won’t. Unless, of course, we never make it back to Storybrooke. That would suck.

But Killian wouldn’t notice then, would he? Because the future would never be the same. 

If I’m stuck here forever, I’ll never get married to Killian in the first place and Hope won’t even have been born. Will she just vanish one day?

I hope not. She’s my only real happiness in this place.

Except maybe Emma. She is kind of like a twin sister to me. I love that. I will miss her once we’re gone. I can tell it’s going to be hard for her to say goodbye, too. At least until I erase all of her memories.

Then, it’ll be like we never existed at all.

She isn’t enough reason to stay here though. I wouldn’t do that to her since me being here might mess up her happy beginning, too. I can’t risk that. 

She deserves to be with Killian and Hope one day. 

So, yeah, I have to find a way back home. It can’t be impossible, right? I just probably haven’t tried hard enough yet.

“Emma?” Mom’s voice surprises me and I almost jump. 

I mutter Shit under my breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says quietly while approaching me. “I was doing some laundry and found these in your pockets. I thought, that I should give them to you.” 

She puts both my engagement ring and wedding band in the palm of my hand. 

I smile gratefully at her. “Thank you.”

She smiles in return and sits down next to me on the bed. She looks at Hope, who is lying in her crib. She has her eyes open but is completely quiet. She must be exhausted. She hasn’t slept much for a while now. I can tell, that she isn’t happy here either. She misses her dad.

I play with the rings by rotating them around my finger. I don’t even notice until mom looks at the rings.

“They’re beautiful, Emma.” She says softly.

“I know. My husband has got a good taste.” I smile proudly. He really does have really good taste. But what did I expect? He’s a pirate after all, so of course, he knows good jewelry.

But I can’t tell the past version of my mother.

“I’m glad you're happy.” She says. “Emma was so broken and lonely when we first found her. She still is. Sometimes I was worried, that she was never going to be okay. That she’ll never be happy. Thank you for showing up and showing me, that my baby gets what she deserves in the end.”

“You had doubts? Wow. That’s scary. No wonder I was so lost back then. If not even you were sure, I’d find my happy beginning. You are like optimism in human form.”

Mary Margret nods slowly like she’s afraid I’m going to get mad. I’m not though. I might’ve reacted that way a few years ago, but now I don’t see this as an attack.

“Hey, it’s okay that you worried about me. I never thought, that I’d ever be more than a lost little girl, who didn’t matter. But then Henry brought me to Storybrooke. For a long time, I didn’t realize this, but he wasn’t bringing me home to break a curse. He was bringing me home. He brought me back to my family.” A few happy tears run down my cheeks. 

I can also see some tears forming in Mary Margret’s eyes.

I take her hand in mine and look at her with meaning.

“I’m not mad, that you were worried about me. It only means that you care deeply about me, which I really appreciate. Thank you.”

I hug her tightly.

Then we hear the front door and Hope starts crying. I pick her up and cuddle her. She calms down immediately.

A few moments later, Emma comes running up the stairs.

“Is everything okay? Did I startle her?” She asks worriedly.

“A little, but it’s fine. She’s okay now.”

Emma sighs and reaches out her arms. I give Hope to her and she cradles her head while balancing her on her hip. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers into Hope’s ear. 

I run my hand down Hope’s back. A mistake, I realize too late.

It only takes a moment until Emma’s eyes fixate on my rings. This is the whole reason I didn’t wear them - I didn’t want to freak her out and now I failed at that.

To my surprise though, Emma seems okay. She even has a soft smile on her face.

“It’s okay, if you wear them, you know? I know about you being married anyway, so there’s no need to hide them from me. I won’t freak out.” 

Wow. She’s making progress. Maybe our combined magic will get me and Hope back home after all. Maybe she’ll be able to control hers soon. Who knows?

“Thank you.” I hug both her and Hope.

#find my way back to you #Emma swan #killian jones #hope swan jones #baby hope #captain swan #captain swan baby #mary margret blanchard #snow white #ouat #once upon a time #cs #cs baby #time travel #fanfiction #fanfic #ff #fic

[sorenmarie87]

In The Middle Of The Ride characters

I forgot I had this but if you want to get to know some of my original babies - Here you go. 

Name: Ryuichi A. Madison Age: 18 Height: 5’1’’ Parents: Mom (Elizabeth)- DJ Dad (Jack)- Animator Eye Color: Light Green Hair Color: D. Brown (Dyes it red)

Background: Before Ryuichi was born her mother (Elizabeth) was in college to become a prize-winning pianist but followed Jack to England. (She changed her major to become a DJ), overseas she became famous while Jack worked at his animation.  Before having Ryuichi, Jack and Elizabeth were married on September 7th 1986.  On July 31st 1987, Ryuichi was born and she meets Will for the time when he’s in the hospital visiting his father.  When she was 3, they moved back to America (Jack had been offered a job working on his newest cartoon and they had requests for Elizabeth in nightclubs).

Name: Madeline (Maddie) Parker Age:  18 Height: 5’6’’ Parents: Mom- Chef   Dad- Teacher (Geometry teacher) Eye Color: Hazel Hair Color:  Red Loves: Writing, singing and dancing

Background: Moved from Louisiana and meet Cordy and Ryu in the 4th grade.  She was born on a floating boat casino on May 8th, 1987.  Maddie loves to write music and singing occasionally. She has an older sister named Isabelle and an older brother named Martin (Marty) She also has a younger sister, Leora, and another younger brother named Daniel.

Name: Cordelia (Cordy) Turner Age: 18 Height: 5’8’’ Parents: Lives w/ mom- College professor Eye Color: blue Hair Color: black hair Born on August 3rd, 1987

Background:  Her parents separated when she was four years old and no one has seen her father since then.  Cordy’s mom teaches at the elementary school for the fourth grade.  Her, Maddie and Ryuichi have tried starting a band (hasn’t performed yet).  Maddie writes, Ryuichi plays the guitar and Cordelia sings (although she tries very hard to get Ryuichi to sing)

Name: Lucille (Lucy) Taylor Age:  18 Height: 5’10’’ Parents: Mom (Leilani)- lawyer Dad (Luke)- Animator   Eye Color: D. Brown Hair Color:  D. Brown

Born on April 1st, 1986

Lucy is the type of person who acts and talks tough, but is really a great person to be around.  Lucy is very protective of her family (Lucas and Ryuichi def.)  Lucas and Lucy are only a few hours apart, but Lucas is the older sibling.  (Fraternal twins) Has some anger issues, and when her dad finds out she's dating someone named Lindsey, he assumes that his daughter is a lesbian... but she isn't.

Name: Alice Wonderly Age:  17 Height: 5’3’’ Parents:  Mom- Nurse Eye Color:  Blue Hair Color:  Blonde Born on October 13th, 1988

Background: Alice was born in the country.  She was born on Oct. 13, 1988.  Was friends with Ryuichi and Erin when they were in elementary/middle school.

(She's the kind of person that if there's someone her friend doesn't like, she doesn't like that person either.  Goes with the crowd basically.  Although she considers Ryuichi a very good friend.)

Very kind and considerate, she is very protective of her friends & family.  Alice is an only child and lives at home with her mom.  Others consider her bad luck, but she is very lucky actually.

Very quiet

Name: Erin Ophelia Mackenzie Age: 17 Height: 5’5’’ Parents: Mom - Lawyer Dad - Doctor Eye Color:  amber with flecks of honey Hair Color: red (short) Born on September 15th, 1987

Background: Erin was actually Ryuichi's first best friend.  They met for the first time in the 2nd grade.  Her birthday is on Sept. 15, 1987.  Over time, she drifted from her friends and became very interested in other things (I.E. sports and whatever else) She stopped talking to Ryuichi because a major argument they had.  To get back at Ryu (because Erin always has to get her way) she has to bully her in some way.

-Interested in Will only because she finds Ryuichi's reaction amusing

Name: Hilda Roberts "Quatre" Age: 23 Height: 5’6’’ Eye color: Aqua blue Hair color: Blonde

Background:  Lindsey’s older sister who married the owner of a clothing shop.  She met her husband Wolfram in college while she was studying theatrics; she’s good at improv, which explains the toaster.  She was working with the fashion students on a production her class was putting on; they were introduced and instantly were attracted.  Anita and Pilot like Hilda, mainly because they feared their son was gay, but are happy with his choice.

Name: Charlie White Age: 22 Height: 5'7'' Parents: mom- works at a library, dad- works at an advertising agency Hair Color: Brown w/ red highlights eye color: Blue

Background: Charlie was born on Dec. 31, 1985 in a small town.  She has one younger sister named Remy who is 12.  Her parents are married, and she hopes for the same kind of relationship.  Met and started dating Dominic in his freshman year (her junior year) So she has gotten used to him dressing in girl's clothes from time to time.

Works at a coffee shop on her college campus and still lives in town.  Is unsure if she should go see Dominic or not.  (Her feelings for him never changed.) Working on a degree in early childhood.

Name: Will Sparrow Age: 18 Height: 6’2’’ Parents: lives with grandparents Eye Color:  Blue Hair Color: Black -Born on February 12th, 1986

Background: Will was born on Feb. 12, 1986 in a small province of England.  He is the middle child out of three younger sisters (Yasmin-3, Aiden-11, Rhiannon-15) and two older brothers (Caden-21, Benjamin-28)  When he was three years old his father was in the hospital for an extended amount of time.  The night he met Ryuichi's mom, he was on his way home from visiting his dad.  His grandparents offered to take care of him until his dad got better.  He used to play and visit with Ryuichi until the day she moved to America (He never forgot the promise they made when they were little...)  His grandparents moved to America a few months later, and Will's mom sent him to live with them.  He was home tutored until 15, then he was sent to a high school near them and for his junior year, they moved him to LHS.  His other siblings still live in London with his parents.

Name: Jamie Starr Age: 18 Height: 5’11’’ Parents: None. Lives with older sister and her husband. Eye Color:  Brown Hair Color:  Brown

Background: He was born March 30th 1988 in New York City. His parents died in a car accident three years ago. Jamie's sister took him in after the accident. They just recently moved to the area where Jamie met Ryuichi and her friends. Jamie's sister and her husband own a popular coffee shop/bakery in town. Jamie loves to write. He also loves sweets.

Name: Mark Renart Age: 24 Height: 6’2 Eye Color: Green Hair Color:  Blonde

Background: He is the newest addition to Lasiter High School. He teaches honors and AP English for the juniors and seniors. He lives in an apartment near the school. Mark usually isn't into dating anyone younger, but clearly he makes an exception for one of the students...

Name: Lindsey Houst Age: 18 Height: 6’4’’ Parents: Mom & Dad own a restaurant Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Sandy Blonde -Born on November 29th, 1986

-Moved from Australia when he was 10 and his parents own a restaurant called “Sheila's”

Name: Lucas Taylor Age:  18 Height: 6’1’’ Parents: Lives at home occasionally stays with Elizabeth & Jack Eye Color: D. Brown Hair Color:  D. Brown -Born on April 1st, 1986 -He is Ryuichi’s cousin and Lucy’s brother.

Name: Gavin Smith Age: 18 Height:  5’11’ Parents: Mom - writer Dad-owns his own business Eye Color:  Hazel Hair Color: Brown

Background: Born on March 11th, 1986 but no one actually knows how his eyes got to be orange, but a lot of people don’t believe he wears contacts.  Gavin’s family moved from place to place before settling into his home in the city.  His older sister is named Samira, his younger brothers are Samuel, Brody, and Tommy, and his younger sister is Joanne.  He went to middle school with Cordy, Maddie, and Ryuichi.

Name: Dominic Hayden Howard Age: 18 Height: 6’0’’ Parents: Lives with his sister (Penny) and her girlfriend (Cassidy) -parents are in Ireland Ashton- Penny's son Eye Color: Green Hair Color:  Red -Born on January 3rd, 1986

Background: Dominic’s parents first met when they were on a trip to Ireland and moved to the U.S. after Penny was born.  He was born on Jan. 3, 1986.   Transferred from different schools due to bullying and harassment issues from other students, and has only been in an all-boys school once. The last school he was in was where he met Charlie.  After 2 yrs of dating, Charlie broke up with him and he moved again.  He spent a year trying to make other friends but it didn't succeed.   On his first day of school at Lasiter High, many people were shocked to find he was a boy, and not a girl. Lives with his sister Penny, her girlfriend Cassidy and their son Ashton.  They take vacations with their mom and dad but this year he declined.  

Name: Sebestyen Erikson Age: 28 Height: 6’ Parents: both therapists Eye color: Left- blue, right- green Hair color: faded Green

Background:  With both of his parents being therapists, Sebestyen’s childhood was very messed up.  His family originated from Germany where his parents met at school.  They moved from various areas of Europe before moving to America.  Although he was teased in school, he refused to go to any psychiatrists or therapist, so he resorted to storytelling so he could tell half-truths to everyone around him.  Knows Hilda, Penny and Cassidy from middle school but hasn’t seen them in forever.  Works at the high school as a janitor and as a greeter for stores when it’s Christmas time.  Sebestyen is easy to get along with; he just needs some getting used to.

Name: Wolfram Roberts Age: 29 Height: 6’2” Parents: Anita and Pilot Roberts Eye color: Unknown, he where’s contacts with a different color every day. (NOTE: Not even Quatre knows!) Hair color: Platinum Blonde

Background:  He is married to Hilda, Lindsey’s sister.  He owns a clothing shop and sells his own clothing from his own line of clothes rightfully called “Ambiguous”.  The gang frequently refers to him as Lindsey’s “Ambiguously gay brother in-law”.  His parents Anita and Pilot are rich business owners, along with Wolfram’s brother Zeb and his sisters Manon and Mem, or otherwise considered by Wolfram seeing as he is the youngest, “The Triplets”.  It is thought that the multitude of tea parties and dress up games Manon and Mem forced him into caused the resulted Ambiguously gay Wolfram.

#In The Middle of The Ride #characters

[littledonkeyburrito]

It’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised

1. Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer trimmed. I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking a well-endowed 12 year old but I also don’t want to be yanking all his hair out when I’m giving a handjob. Tbh it’s not a strong preference though. He can do what he wants.

2. Do you prefer liquid, mousse or powder foundation? Why? Powder because it feels less gross. I don’t generally wear any makeup though

3. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Mum knows a very small amount, but more than Dad knows. She knows I’ve dated two guys, at least.

4. Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? Not my scene

5. Do you worry about gaining weight? I don’t.

6. Have you ever used fake tan? No. In fact, I get a little weirded out when I have a real tan because my hands don’t look like my hands

7. How do you organize your make-up? There isn’t much. Doesn’t really need organising

8. Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? No. Except maybe if I’m extremely drunk...

9. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? Apartment

10. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don’t know all of Barcelona’s festivities. Brisbane has the Ekka which is fun. Things I don’t like to participate in would probably be sporting events like marathons and such.

11. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? No.

12. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? A couple of Dad’s friends are slightly seedy but just in a regular old white dude way, not in a legit creepy way. They’re all fairly nice.

13. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? Yeah, Dad hates almost everything American.

14. What venue was the last real concert you went to at? Some showground in Madrid for a music festival.

15. Does your best friend and their mom have the same last name? Yes. Well, half. She has both parents’ last names.

16. What color is your cellphone? Black

17. Are you currently waiting for a phone call? From whom? Yes, I was supposed to get a call back from my health insurance company today. I’ll have to call them again tomorrow. At least I have a number to the english customer service line now.

18. Do you have any drugs in your bedroom? No

19. Is there a feature on your face that people compliment you on? Occasionally eyes I guess

20. What are your plans for the rest of the week? Figuring out how to get my luggage to weigh less than when I came to this country so I don’t have to pay extra baggage fees.

21. How many studded belts do you own? None.

22. Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever had braces? Don’t have a partner.

23. What have you eaten today?

 Spicy rice soup, tabooleh, a mandarin, some chocolate

24. What’s your favorite thing to do? The thing that comes to mind is having dinner or drinks with my friends, possibly because I haven’t been able to do that for a year.

25. Did you wear a jacket today? Yes, I wore my coat when I went out

26. Have you kissed more than two people of the same sex? Yeah.

27. How many times have you had sex in one day? Twice 

28. Did you exercise at all today? Not on purpose

29. Would you ever move far away for a job opportunity? That’s the plan. Once I’m back in Australia I’m going to be applying for jobs in Spain and Central America in my field and if I get offered something with a liveable salary then I’ll move.

30. Are you too shy/embarrassed to tell people your middle name? No

31. If not, what is it? No bc internet

32. What day of the week is garbage day on your street? Three times every day.

33. What is something new you learned today? That my grocery store sells pigs ears, and that the drink “desperados” does not taste good (it’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised)

34. Do you need a haircut? Yes

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? If I try

36. When was the last time you ate popcorn? It’s been a while. I finally learned that popcorn is not worth the dry cracked lips and the kernel shells stuck in my teeth and gums for all eternity

37. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Cheap restaurants. The more expensive they get, the less I enjoy the atmosphere.

38. Is your name common? In Australia it is, but not in Spain.

39. Do you look older or younger than your actual age? Younger. I got asked ID the other day for the first time in like 6 months. And also a cab driver thought I was 16.

40. Were you ever a Pokemon fan? Yes

41. If you could get rid of one season, which one would you choose? Six

42. Have you ever performed in front of a large group? Yes

43. Are you hungry right now? No, I’ve eaten so much today

44. Have you ever had the chicken pox? My brother got the chicken pox during the school holidays with the whole fever, mild hallucinations, etc. So mum went and got me the vaccine (the last needle I was ever scared of bc in the end it wasn’t so bad). Then I got the spots start to show up and school had just started again so I got 4 days off school. We later found out that because of the needle I wasn’t contagious at all. I never had a fever or illness at all, just the itchy spots. My brother was pissed. 44. How often do you do laundry? About once a week.

45. Do you know anyone who snores? Both my parents, the last guy I slept with, this one guy I was friends with in school. Nobody else immediately comes to mind. 46. Would you make a good movie critic? No, I’m too nice. 47. What goal are you aiming for this year? Pay off debt and start saving again so I get the fuck out of Brisbane again within a year or two. 48. What’s the farthest you’ve walked? In one day? I think about 25-30km 49. What does your favorite shirt look like? I think my current fave would be my dark red tshirt with little white birds on it. I also like my denim button-up and my netflix tshirt 50. What made you feel most accomplished in you’re life so far? Being able to earn enough money in a job that I love to be able to move to Europe for a year after learning a whole new language. 51. What can’t you afford but wish you could? I can’t afford to stay in Spain :(

Last 10 people in your Facebook messages inbox: (I’m excluding group chats)

1.       Joh

2.       Me (had to write a number while on the phone and didn’t have a pen)

3.       Kym

4.       Emily

5.       Bronwyn

6.       Dad

7.       Aman

8.       Pegler

9.       Leisa

10.     Brenda

1. How long have you known 1? 4 years

2. When did you meet 2? At birth

3. When was the last time you saw 3? Yesterday

4. Have you and 4 ever gotten into trouble together before? No

5. How old is 5? 47

6. Have you ever taken a shower at 6’s house? Many, because I grew up in that house

7. Have you ever taken a dump at 7’s house? Lol, no.

8. Have you ever thought about going out with 8? No

9. What about 9? She’s my auntie

10. Would you ever go out with 10 or ask 10 out? No, she’s my dad’s friend

11. What’s the best memory you have had with 1? Too many to choose just one

12. What’s 2′s lastname? yeah nah

13. Would you ever take a bullet for 3? Probs not, soz

14. What would you do if 4 died? I'd be sad

15. What would you do if you found out 5 killed someone that you were related to? That would be horrible since we’re related to the same people

16. Would you take care of 6 if they were sick? Yes

17. Would you kill 7 if it was the only way for your other friends to survive? Yeah... if it was the only way then I would

18. Has 8 ever cooked for you? We lived together for 3 years but I don’t think so..? Maybe we occasionally offered each other leftovers but we never specifically cooked for each other

19. How many times have you and 9 fought? Never in my memory

20. Have you and 10 ever cried together? No

21. Have you and 1 ever kissed? Lol yes every time we get drunk together

22. Do you ever dream of 2? Almost always

23. Is 3 a boy? No.

24. Does 4 have any kids? No

25. Do you want to marry 5? I do not want to marry my aunt 26. How did you meet 1? At an event we were both at and then we ran in the same circles 

27. What was your first impression of 2? I do not remember when I became self-aware 28. Would you ever date 3? No. She is my dad’s married friend with 3 kids 29. Are 4 and 5 friends? They have never met

30. Who is 6 going out with? Sharon, who he lives with 31. Is 7 a boy or girl? I feel weird calling him a “boy” because I used to sleep with him. He is a man. Aman, a man. A man called Aman. 32. What would you think if 8 became your stepbrother/sister? I don’t think either of his parents are a suitable match for my parents but he’d be a kickass brother 33. Is #9 a dork? No, not really

34. What is a random fact about #10? She’s Irish 35. Who does #1 have a crush on? Probably his boyfriend 36. Does #2 have any stalkers? No, I don’t 37. If #3 said they were in love with you, what would you say? It would be very inappropriate and I would say that it makes me uncomfortable.

38. Is #4 hott? I’m sure her husband thinks so. She is pretty though. 39. Who is #5 best friends with? idk 40. Does #6 have good fashion sense? Not especially, but if he tried to dress young he’d look worse. What he wears works for him. 41. Is #7 single? I think so. If he’s not then I’d wonder why he’s messaging me and saying he wants to meet up when I’m back. 42. Would #8 and #9 make a cute couple? God no

#Other potential titles: #my hands don’t look like my hands #kernel shells stuck in my teeth and gums for all eternity #a cab driver thought I was 16 #I do not remember when I became self-aware #A man called Aman

[sincerelysaraahh]

Hey beautiful people!! Guess what? 

Valentines day is coming!! A day of love. 

So I decided to do some cute, fluffy maybe some smutty/angsty fics for you guys, this up coming month!! I made a list of Drabbles and AU’s for you guys. Send me your picks and I’ll do my best to get them done!! I have my babyshower next weekend so from now until then, I am super busy. But after, I should be free!! 

And on Valentines day, I will pick 5 users for a lengthy personalized love letter from any character/celebrity of their choosing!

But first, the rules to enter the personalized love letter;

-Must be following me. (I will check)

-Reblog this post to get the word out! (likes to bookmark)

-Fill this survey out

-Must have ask OPENED or will not qualify. 

You have until Feb. 1st at 11:59 Pacific time to enter. 

If you want to send drabble/au requests, here’s the list! 

AU’s

1. First date but everything goes wrong and it’s frustrating and on top of that, it rains! Will it turn out better by the end? 2. You are invited to your best friends Valentine’s Day party! And with your boyfriend just dumped you a week before! Now your best friend places you at the singles table and looks like there’s only a few of you. Great. 3. Everyday since the month began, someone leaves a rose on your doorstep with a cute poem inside. You try to catch the secret admirer but never do. Until one day you can home early from work and there he is, with a box of chocolates this time. 4. Your best friend decides to set you up on a blind date. Too bad you owe her a favor or you would cancel. When you get there, the guy becomes a total douche and is everything you thought he’d be. So after the date, you call your best friend to vent. Saying you never want to see him again. But since he’s your best friends husbands friend, you aren’t that fortunate. (Based off life as we know it) 5. You had just been stood up and decided to call your best friend to come get you. Even though he had plans with a girl he was starting to date, he dropped everything he was doing to get you. But the night is still young and he didn’t want you to be alone especially on Valentine’s Day, so he took you back to his place for an “anti love” night which turns into something different. 6. New neighbor AU 7. You’ve never had a valentine in your life but your best friend wants to break that curse. She forces you out to a club/party and tries to find you a guy to spend the rest of the night with. But she fails when almost every guy there is either taken or a total fuck boy. Until she bumps into an old friend. Small world. 8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. 9. Your coworkers threw a Valentine’s Day party at the office. Everyone is either married or with their significant other, except you. You noticed your boss’ light was on in his office. You tried to get him to join the party but he is too busy and declines. So you decide to join him and help him get his work done faster so he can enjoy the rest of the night. Being alone with him was new to you. Shit, you have feelings for your boss now. 10. You have been best friends with (insert name) since elementary school, and have always been each other’s wingman. Always going to one another for advice. You are both taken this Valentine’s Day and omg, your BF just proposed to you! The first person you tell is your best friend but for some reason he doesn’t seem too happy about it.

Drabbles;

11. “Kiss me, quick.” 12. “Are you wearing my shirt?” 13. “I know I’m drunk, but you’re beautiful.” 14. “Okay, am I drunk or did you really just say that?” 15. “I’m too sober for this shit.” 16. ”They don’t like dogs. It wasn’t going to work out.” 17. ”This is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying right here.” 18. “You are ridiculously comfortable…” 19. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…” 20. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…” 21. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” 22. “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it” 23. “Do you need me to kill someone for you?” 24. “To the night you’ll never remember!” 25. “Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.” 26. “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!” 27. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 28. “All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” 29. “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.” 30. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.” 31. “You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” 32. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!” 33. “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?” 34. “I dare you!” 35. “It’s you, it’s always been you.” 36. “Well this is awkward…” 37. “Just pretend to be my date”. 38. “I’m in love with a woman that is not my wife/girlfriend/fiancé!” 39. “Out of all the people in the world, I get stuck with you.“ 40. “You’re going to love me. Watch, you’ll see.”

#sincerelysaraahh valentines day special #supernatural #once upon a time #Harry Potter #teen wolf #the vampire diaries #the originals #The Avengers #marvel #x men #The Flash #arrow #band imagines #actor imagine #celebrity imagines #and more!

[noahhernandez]

I’m OLD and bored 8/7/2020

1.Is there a boy/girl in your life? No!  2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? If it is Pajak then no i do not <3  3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” A cat, and oddly enough Cardi B 4:What’s something you really want right now? A stable job that I like :)  5:Are you afraid of falling in love? No, but I don’t want to. Relationships are soul sucking and not in the fun way. 6:Do you like the beach? No i do not like the beach one bit. Well, I like being in a beach house but I don’t like getting in the water. 7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes I have  8:What’s the background on your cell? It is the scene in Hereditary where he husband is on fire 9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine, Emily’s, Bri’s, lol I don’t really know um  ? Probably like my aunts when I lived with her 10:Do you like your phone? Yes it work 11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? NO! I wanted to have a fun summer and look for another job and think about studying for Grad School and etc etc but I was JOBLESS for FOUR months and bc of COVID we cant do a DAMn thing 12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? I have absolutely no idea probably like.. ? I don’t know lol 13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler 14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional pain, lol it’s funny bc my last answer said physical I have grown up so much  15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Art Museum 16:Are you tired? Physically yes lol 17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? For 16 years because it’s my little sister 18:Are they a relative? omg yes 19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? NO ! well maybe 1.  20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I have no idea bitch !  21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? no 22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no  23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? 3 24:Is there a certain quote you live by? no!  25:What’s on your mind? literally nothing its kind of nice like not thinking 26:Do you have any tattoos? Yes, I have a sleeve so a total of like 9 tattoos i think idk 27:What is your favorite color? black 28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Hell if I know 29:Who are you texting? Nobody bc Emily and Janett are at work and Bri (F.) is simply not texting me 30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? yes 31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yeah of course its called  i know things bitch 32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Ya of course i can tell michelle faith bri emily and janett everything  33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? u know probably not 34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? my eyes are dark brown lol so no 35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? i dont care 36:Were you single on Valentines Day? yes !  37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? I honestly dont know the last person I kissed like i dont know if it was michelle or not lmao 38:What do your friends call you? Noah 39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? No  ! 40:Have you ever cried over a text? Probably ! Yes when I was told “sorry noah i cheated on you last night” like who TEXTS that LMFAO anyways I cried 41:Where’s your last bruise located? hand from work 42:What is it from? oh from work 43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Bitch i want to die 44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? leann  45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? my dr. martens theyre like 2 inch platforms lmao 46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No lol 47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? no omg 48:Do you make supper for your family? ew hell no i live ALONE 49:Does your bedroom have a door? omg yes  50:Top 3 web-pages? Facebook, Twitter, Youtube 51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Um, no all my friends shop about an average amount 52:Does anything on your body hurt? My back and my feet!!  53:Are goodbyes hard for you? They were sometimes. Sometimes it do be sucking when u say goodbye but didnt know it was the last :( 54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? I had the sudden memory of last summer when I fell down the stairs at work and spilled coffee all over myself and had to change 55:How is your hair? Short and not combed at the slightest 56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Pee! !!  57:Do you think two people can last forever? nope!  58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was 10 59:Green or purple grapes? Green 60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? um honestly i have no idea lmao we arent allowed to hug each other in these tough times!  61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? no !  62:When will be the next time you text someone? I am texting Angel rn actually 63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? Asleep 64:What were you doing at 8 this morning. dead ass asleep 65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Nope !  66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? this is gay yes all my friends but only because they are funny not because I enjoy seeing them 67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I did not hug anyone or kiss anyone today!! ! 68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? i literally was struggling so hard to go to sleep last night so I was probably really frustrated 69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes on taking exams normally except my last like ... 2 years of college were phenomenal   70:How many windows are open on your computer? 4- amazon, youtube, CBS and this 71:How many fingers do you have? 10 72:What is your ringtone? like the original one 73:How old will you be in 5 months? 24 LOL  74:Where is your Mum right now? Honestly I have no fucking idea lmao 75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?  because they cheated on me, they were very toxic and manipulative and uncaring and i dealt with it for a long ass time and it literally going to kill me if I kept it up. Dealt with bad anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, I wasn’t eating, and I had to start taking medication and see therapy because of it literally it was the worst shit ever  76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No 77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Let me think of some- yes. Faith, Peter, Michelle, Bri, Emily, Janett, Angel, Anissa, I’ll still consider Keyla my friend too hehe .  78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? some guy named Chris 79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? No 80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yes and I hated it

81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? 0 82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? no lol 83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? no!  84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Definitely MICHELLE and PETER. I would ask Bri and Emily to please not let me get that drunk 85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? yes 86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I literally work at a movie theater an nothing cool happens like the last almost 6 years of working there have been boring 87:Who was your last received call from? Leann asking me where my nametag was at in my car 88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? um yes 89:What is something you wish you had more of? money !! $$$ 90:Have you ever trusted someone too much?  ya it was some dumb ass shit !  91:Do you sleep with your window open? hell no i live in southeast houston is too fucking humid and hot for that shit i will get mold 92:Do you get along with girls? yeah lmao 93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? i dont even know i dont think so 94:Does sex mean love? hell no!  95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? nope!   96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? ew no those are trashy 97:Did you sleep alone this week? yes lol :( 98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? my friends what kind of dumb ass question is this  99:Do you believe in love at first sight?  no !  100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise?  nobody ! if anything I smokey sweared with Michelle like 23 years ago

#personal

[ayz8yf9q-blog]

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

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SOURCES:

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