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hyperfixated-homo · 1 year

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its thinking about reverse!sides hours

#sanders sides #yknow the ones where the light sides become dark sides and vise versa?#ye #im. always thinking about reverse logan #at all times #or any variation of dark side logan #he takes up 90% of my thoughts #also. darkside!patton. yeah im a little bit obsessed w/ that rn #which is funny because on one hand #im such a big fan of sympathetic logan that i want him to be mean and tell the others just how much they hurt him #and on the OTHER hand #im a big fan of UNSYMP patton being manipulative and sly #and somehow that manifests in me liking both of them as dark sides #so thats fun #and! im also thinking about reverse janus #just. so much mom energy

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lighthouseas · 9 months

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alright friends i'm not gonna lie i wouldn't mind if the byler kiss had will leaning in first. or like. will kissing mike first on impulse during a heated moment. and then he regrets it immediately after because he thinks mike doesn't reciprocate (even though he obviously does) because mike just stands there for a second like 🧍🏻‍♂️ before swooping in to kiss will back

#im tired doesthis make sense #anyway. just a concept #i feel like a lot of takes have mike kissing will first but im gonna be honest i think will kissing mike impulsively is more realistic #<- like. at a point where he's 90% sure mike reciprocates but he's had these feelings bottled up for so long that he can't take it anymore #and just. finds himself kissing mike before he even knows what's happening #so he has his “oh fuck” moment when mike is just standing there staring at him. Bug Eyed 🐛#because he's fucked everything up hasn't he??? what the fuck was he thinking???? mike ISN'T like him #only for mike to crush his lips against will's like 10 seconds later and they make out sloppy #(and they're clumsy about it DO NOT FORGET THE CLUMSY OKAY)#(((GIVE ME THEM SMILING AGAINST EACH OTHERS' LIPS. ESP MIKE OKAY))))))#oh my god i thought of smthn even better. will leaning away from kissing mike and being like “i'm sorry i shouldn't hav-”#only for mike to INTERRUPT HIM WITH A KISS oh. giggles and kicks my feet #alr we are starting to tread in fanfic trope territory and these tags are getting long. im done now #stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #st.txt

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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Ayo come get your Howdy soup while it’s…uncomfortably warm and acidic

prolongedslurpingsound.wav

#im picturing everyone gathering around The Chrysalis with silly straws #Partake In The Soup. Partake In The Soup.#howdy emerges and he's short now #they straight up drank half of him #rambles from the bog #yassified howdy <3 #my first thought reading this ask was the COME GET YALL JUICE vine #actually wait now you have me wondering... Would it be warm and acidic #warm.. yeah probably there's a lot of activity goin on & energy being used #acidity... hold on im doing Research for this gimme a sec #well for yall reading this its instantaneous. for me ive had this ask open for fifteen minutes #alright so caterpillars have been described as tasting nutty / leafy / earthy / meaty #just saw one description say 'if trees were made of meat thats what they taste like'#and caterpillar Soup is very very Very protein-rich #now lets look up what chitin looks like since im 90% certain thats what chrysalises are made of #hmmm the only things im seeing is it would either be mostly tasteless or nutty #then lets look at the flavor of enzymes... im seeing sour notes...#this taking too long okay Basically caterpillar soup #would be protein-y maybe a little leafy or sour... hints of nuttiness... and of course the overwhelming flavor of Guilt & Disgust #thank you for listening to this ted talk. im getting nauseous thinking about what the texture must be like

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maxgicalgirl · 1 year

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Carlos is the kind of autistic I am and Cecil is the kind of autistic I want to be

#wtnv #Cecil Palmer #welcome to night vale #Carlos the scientist #cecilos #90% of my wtnv listening experience is just me wishing I could be as lovably weird and completely unhinged as Cecil is #like the guy just goes for it he literally does not give a fuck #and I’m like ‘god I wish that were me’ he’s just the character of all time and I aspire to be more like him #instead I spend 90% of my actual real life running from my problems and making my entire identity my interests #feeling awkward in the space I take up but making up for it by overextending myself via finding a problem and throwing myself at it #I think a lot of this is because Carlos masks and Cecil doesn’t but that’s a different thought for a different time #honestly them as a couple has been helping me feel better about myself #like Carlos is a great character and I find his growth indicative of growth I could experience #and I think a lot of that growth can be attributed to wanting to be more like Cecil #and from having him in his life #so by loving Carlos because he is me and by having Cecil in my life as a character maybe I too can go on this experience of growth #don’t mind me I’m just rambling again #max rambles in the tags #I kin Carlos if you can’t tell lol

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forcedhesitation · 5 months

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I finished act 2 again, but properly this time. and I cannot even begin to put into words how satisfying and beautiful all of that was. I loved act 2 the first time I played, but figuring out how to save the last light this time, properly completing halsin's quest, storming moonrise towers with jaheira and her harpers, seeing aylin reunite with isobel...all of it. I love it even more. and the beginning of act 3 feels all the more rewarding, having fixed my past errors.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #thoughts about media #that was. incredible. I can't believe I missed so much the first time I played.#but at least having messed up the first time gives me a greater appreciation for the full story.#I did the “lift the shadowcurse” quest SO assbackwards last time I missed like. 90% of halsin's act 2 dialogue.#he IS cute. I am just STUPID. and learned nothing from dunking on gale before- when that was ALSO my own colossal mistake.#jaheira also gets such a badass moment of glory if her harpers as still alive. if you lose last light like I did before...#...god the assault on moonrise feels so...depressing. I felt so fucking bad for her the first time I played.#but I thought that you couldn't save isobel! and that's just what was supposed to happen! fool was I!#oh and if your tav fails the perception check on mizora when she first sends wyll to rescue zariel's asset- HE renegotiates his contract!#which I like better? I like when the companions get to choose their own fate! I like wyll taking a stand for himself! it was awesome!#and well. if corydalis used his outrageous charisma stat to push mizora into giving wyll a funky new sword? that's just friendship <3 #the relationship between aylin and isobel is beautiful. I'm so happy that I replayed to save isobel. I much prefer seeing aylin happy :)#barcus. barcus. barcus. I want to criticise you but I'm in love with astarion so. can I really talk???#well maybe /I/ can't. but corydalis is Aware and playing mental manipulation chess with astarion. out of pure intent. but still.#join our polycule barcus. please. we will treat you better. I promise <3333 #anyways. not ready for the buggiest part of the game again. but at least I know what's going on this time.

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tblsomedoodles · 1 year

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Got any wips of project you're wiling to show? I know you said some of the stuff eas kicking you're butt... maybe people seeing you're progress might help?

Yeah, i can share a couple : )

I'll share two things (mostly because the one is very self-indulgent and i'm not entirely sure i'm going to post it when it's done), and the other is just a bit of the seer twin fic i was working on

I'll put it all under a break just so it doesn't get messy.

Here's an excerpt of what i've been writing for the Seer Twins AU. This part is the very tail end of Leo's first waking vision, which i felt like i needed to write out before i could go into the talk (fight) they had the next day. (also that talk might end up being broken up? Mostly because they can't exactly talk to Donnie about hsi visions if no one else really knows he's having them. but that's besides the point.)

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A decision was made and Donnie continued across the room, dropping to sit cross-legged in front of Raph and Leo. He hesitated briefly before prying one of Leo’s hands away from Raph’s arm to hold in his own.

Leo clung to Donnie’s hand like a lifeline, somehow more desperately than he still did to Raph’s arm. It had to have hurt, but Donnie didn’t so much as wince, instead leaning forward to mumbled something directly to Leo that even Raph couldn’t hear properly.

They sat like that for over an hour as Leo slowly quieted and stopped struggling. By the time the glow began to fade, Leo was limp in Raph’s arms, head laying against Raph’s plastron but his hand still firmly holding Donnie’s. His thoughts came stuttering into Raph’s awareness once again, it’s contents breaking Raph’s heart. Fear, pain, exhaustion, confusion; all sat forefront in his little brother’s mind even as he slowly blinked, taking in his surroundings for the first time since this began.

“Hey,” Leo’s voice was little more than a hoarse whisper as he saw everyone in his room. “If I had known there was going to be a party thrown in my room, I’d have cleaned first. Maybe.”

Raph was relieved as he hugged Leo close, Mikey and eventually Donnie joining soon after. Leo was hiding his thoughts behind humor again, but Raph was just glad he was aware enough to do so.

“I love the attention, really I do, but ow,” Leo said after a moment. They let go quickly, though Raph kept him in his lap propped up against his plastron. Leo was still shaky, his entire body feeling like achy Jell-O, his description, not Raph’s. Leo himself wasn’t sure if he could sit up right now, so Raph opted not to have him find out.

- The second thing is a very messy planning video for a Donnie VS the World video, that i never expected to make, but recently realized a song fit too well not to. I doubt it will be full length, or make any sense. Essentially i just had the thought of drawing one of Donnie's first encounters trying to get his brothers back. This is probably very ambitious of me considering im bullshitting my way through the animation process. (i literally do not know how to properly animate. It's all trial and error over here, plus some not-really-helpful youtube videos.) If it looks cool when it's 'finished' i'll probably post it.

This video is just Donnie breaking into a purple dragon warehouse because he heard they have Leo, only to find evidence he was there but actually finding him, and thus making that the purple dragon's problem.

thank you!

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blueish-bird · 1 year

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Chainsaw Man considers the question of what would happen if a 19 year old with autism was forced to parent two semi-immortal teenagers with ADHD

#and not a single one of them grew up with healthy/present parental figures #AND it turns out to be one of the healthiest relationships in the entire goddamn story #there is nothing neurotypical about 90% of the Chainsaw Man cast #I’m pretty sure when you become a fiend your brain is automatically ADHD-ified #I still consider 19 a ‘teen age’ but saying _ year old twice is kind of clunky #I like to think they all parented each other. Aki was def the most conventionally adjusted but he was Mad emotionally repressed lmao #wish it didn’t take so long for him to realize there’s more to life than work/revenge but.. so it goes #Denji and his compassion. Power and her setting of boundaries/self-preservation.#learning from each other being annoyed by each other accepting each other as they are etc #it’s about found family #it’s about love #:-)#csm meta #csm #my csm thoughts #meposting #neurodivergence

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cupidlakes · 2 years

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tiktok commentating on dreams face reveal is so weird like “FANS are very disappointed in dreams face reveal” oh we’re calling them fans now ? 😭 why do you ppl like to twist everything do you have a functioning brain

#on everything i can bet 90% of the tweets negatively commenting on his appearance aren’t .. fans 💀#like him or hate him literally whatever you have to admit his fans are being the most supportive (obviously)#can it be true that ppl had high expectations? sure #but this is just another blatant lie for no reason 😭#negativity #sry it just Rly rly grates on me when ppl call someone ugly #and that is again OBVIOUSLY coming from the ppl that never liked him #my hot take is that no one is fucking ugly #every person is unique #uniquely Them #and if you don’t like dream that’s whatever but to savagely go after someone appearance which is smth they can target change is like #rarely change*#super duper duper strange to me #he looks like a guy that’s okay #this isn’t even the extent of my thoughts 😭#but it has to be one of my biggest pet peeves #i don’t think dream hyping up his face reveal is because he thinks he’s the sexiest drop dead gorgeous motherfucker on the planet #he was clearly insanely nervous abt it #idk that’s my take anyway i have to go back to work #ppls superficiality just makes me sad #it never won’t

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zefforuins · 11 months

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-/&;3;

#made myself mad thinking abt characters and things that don’t matter yet again #going to type my thoughts out here and then distract myself so I get over it LMAO #anyway. a heem heem #at the end of the day it does not matter. how people draw fictional characters. I can always find artists who draw them how I like and I do #but. because I am in a bad mood today. I just think that people who. draw Jason Todd like. really skinny. drives me insane #not necessarily just like the existence of it cause I am used to it but like when it’s him with other characters who are also skinny #I’m like hey why is he the same body type as his 17 year old brother?#and listen. Gotham knights Jason is not my favorite Jason #they fucked up his hair real bad. he looks older than he should according to when the game takes place. but whenever I see someone comment #on his build in the game?? I’m baffled. it’s pissing me off at this point tbh. like I’m sorry 1. not everyone is a size 0 just because you #find it hot. and 2. do you seriously expect. the character who’s whole think is being very strong. and beating people up nightly.#who’s fighting style is much heavier than his acrobat brothers style. to…be skinnier than said brother?#genuinely I think that gk Jason is generally how Jason SHOULD be built 99% of the time. like AK Jason and GK Jason. that’s peak #and it’s always ppl who like. when you look thru their art that body type is the ONLY body type they draw. and I’m like 🤨🤨🤨 is this like #bleeding into fatphobia territory now? not that gk Jason is fat because he VERY much isn’t. but they just draw character sooooooo skinny #as if their whole deal isn’t being physically strong!!!#atp I would rather every character look like 90s xtrme comics drawn by 40 yr old men where their arms are bigger than their heads and you #can see every muscle cause at least it makes somewhat more sense given their jobs ･_･ even tho it is ridiculous in its own way #my post #and it is my least fav comic art style LMAO #but anyways #nothing matters and I surround myself with love and light and I and the smartest person in the world who knows more about my favs than them #<3

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scarletcomet · 1 year

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i was talking with my dad because i don’t really understand a lot of things in my computer engineering class, and my dad has a degree in computer engineering. he said i should try to meet with the professor. i told him that the exam is in the morning, and he was like oh people usually start studying more than a day in advance. like first of all, i did not start studying today. second of all, did he miss the part where i’ve been severely depressed for the last like month to the point where im going to have to take incompletes in all (except maybe one) of my classes??

#im really not ready for this exam because it's on the three modules that i have not done the assignments for #my professor said i can take an incomplete to finish those assignments but i should take the exam tomorrow #i know that it's impossible for me to fail this class even if i get a zero on the exam and those 3 missing assignments #but i was getting a very high A for the entire semester so that would suck #anyways im just really upset about what my dad said about me not starting studying early enough #i think he just assumed there was more time before the exam based on how little i knew.#like i have actually done a good bit of school work the last few days which is a huge improvement from the previous several weeks #my parents don't know about me being suicidal but they know that im really depressed #he probably wasn't thinking when he said that but it still hurts #the last exam i took i only answered one question because i couldn't think about anything other than hurting myself #idk what im doing #im so pathetic #this is ridiculous #am i just faking it? i got a 90 (well above the mean) on an exam from the same day as the exam i just mentioned #i have barely been able to get myself to do anything in weeks because i just have no energy and my thoughts and movements are slower #and because whenever i would try to think or focus my thoughts would drift and i would end up thinking about killing myself #and imagining killing myself all these different ways. i still am having these thoughts almost constantly so it's hard #i just want to kill myself. it's practically all i can think about.#so i would say im doing pretty well considering all of that #tw: suicide mention

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brw · 1 year

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im really interested in the mcu show seemingly adapting the 90s wonder man series most majorly, because simon is a terrible person in that series for the most part. he's very self centered in the way that he thinks, spends a lot of time feeling sorry for himself and ends up mistreating his friends and his love interests because he's so preoccupied with feeling sad. so im interested to see how they're going to adapt him because i think it would be really disingenuous to adapt wonder man (1991) without simon being misogynistic, cruel, mean, quick tempered, blunt, abrasive etc etc but still being someone your ultimately feel bad for, because that chsracteristion was so foundational for the 90s wonder man series. simon isn't really a good or noble person and in the 90s he's barely trying to be until the very last few issues. and that kind of balance hasn't really been struck before by the MCU, so im interested to see where things go with this era they're adapting specifically.

#brieuc.txt #mcu wonder man #wonder man #simon williams #simon being awful in the 90s also makes sense because its written by Gerard Jones. if you know you know.#so its just interesting to me that this is the era theyre adapting because its simon's worst moment as a person #when hes at his most toxic his most quick tempered his cruellest to wanda and to vision and to his supporting cast #i guess i just hope the mcu doesn't completely round off simon's corners if theyre taking inspiration from the 90s series #because its kind of important narratively that simon grows up from this imo and missing that would potentially cheapen future appearances?#anyway im still not convinced this show is real #but i have read all of the 90s series so im giving my thoughts on that

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vulcanhello · 1 year

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#is this really how people from the south talk. i want to learn more i want to incorporate them into my lexicon #anyways. the other aos book was fun i thought it suffered from the 60-90% being boring but honestly it was alright as far as the writing goe #goes #kirk was annoying im sorry that’s not Kirk thats Chris Pine Kirk if ykwim #spock and uhura were cute and deserved more scenes #i got excited when they picked up the voyager probe but it was just used for an ex machina thing #still good actually! like it was my own fault i immediately thought of tmp rather than letting the story stand on its own #so taking that into account its a solid story beat. but still ill admit i was kinda hopin for more #anyways! solid story solid writing. i just dont much care for aos. glad i read this tho seeing as tho only two aos books got published #thats insane!#captain’s log #trek books #aos #mccoy scenes were some of my favs tbf i love him in aos ill admit im a karl urban fan #mccoy had a lot of fun stuff here mostly he was so excited abt the new aliens and their medical achievements that he accidentally gave them #the info they needed to take over the enterprise lol #he got drugged and when spock came up to him he was like spock! good to see you!!! and spock was like shit. somebody drugged the doctor

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airbenderedacted · 2 years

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Genuine question- why don’t you just delete Twitter? :0

as of two(?) years ago or smthn i'd officially blocked and befriended enough people on there for me to REALLY ENJOY being on twitter

SO LIKE being locked out is like this hjdnmnbghsHJDNBNds

#the site format of just. sharing quick blurbs of thoughts + the way twitter threads work really vibes with me #like i ADORE and miss how on tumblr you can just throw a whole mess of additional thoughts in the tags Like I'm Doing Right Now #but also posting being 1000x shorter and simpler on twitter makes me procrastinate on sharing thoughts a lot less #bc on tumblr i'm like. i became so particular abt the order of posts on my blog... n then there's how long ik it'd take me 2 post abt smthn-#-with no character limit + with the option to format things + add pics however i want + TAGS and. yeah i just go #''oh i'd spend forever on that'' and not do it #whereas on twitter im like. a lot more likely to just share dumb random things yeah! also it just feels more lively on there ig? :O #love going sillay mode with the mutuals!!!!!!#love holding up blorbos and getting a real-time feed of mutuals going (applause) sjkdhskjds #ALSO ALSO i have one (1) whole bestie to talk about lord dom & general woy things with aND HE'S ONLY ON TWITTER #AOAOAIUGUIGUGUGHHHHH #but again being really busy with college makes this more of a blessing than anything else tbh #i just miss being able to see all my friends on there!!! 8') eeee e e #EDIT: god i meant to post this like a whole half an hour ago but i typed like 90% of it then zoned off into space. ough im TIRED tired damn

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andhumanslovedstories · 8 months

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A code status is what you want the hospital to do if your heart or breathing stops, and we've got two basic options: full code which means we do EVERYTHING and Do Not Resuscitate or DNR which means we do less than everything. There's like little add-ons like intubated or not intubated, or blood products or no blood products, but that's basic gist of it. Do you want us to try everything we can to save your life or if your heart stops, is that it? And then we take that information and put it in your chart and make it very prominent in case we need to find it quickly in an emergency. Jane Doe, 72 years old, DNR. John Whatsisname, 49 years old, full code. Like that.

Anyway I'd like to propose a third code status that we'll call "DNR!!!" This is when you not only don't want heroic measures to extend your life, you are so excited to die. I thought of this recently when getting report on a patient, and the day nurse talking to me was like, "Alice Smith, 80 years old, DNR and she will tell you that herself." And I was like, "I don't think code status is gonna come up organically," and the nurse was like, "It won't, but she'll tell you anyway." And then I introduced myself to the patient, and like three minutes in as we're talking about pain meds, she goes, "and by the way, when I'm dead, I'm DEAD. Don't be bringing me back! Every woman in my family has lived past 90, and I'm here to break that tradition! NO one needs to live that long, and I certainly don't, and frankly it's indecent for me to have made it this far. God willing the reaper will come for me any day now. I would never take actions to make him come sooner, but I'm not moving that fast and he is DAWDLING. Disgusting. No work ethic these days. And don't bother with a grave, just chuck me out the window and let the birds at me."

And I'm like "so is that a no to the tylenol"

And she was like "oh no, I'd love some tylenol and a warm blanket too. Now look at me. I've done everything I could possibly want to do in this world and quite a few things I didn't want to do, and personally I don't think I should have to keep doing things. I'd also love a cranberry juice."

Anyway. DNR!! I'm sorry to say she made it through the night completely unscathed.

#nursing tag

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hydesjackiespuddinpop · 6 months

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jeia in every episode - kids in america

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cocklessboy · 10 months

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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+#trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

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