#he has scary germanic/slavic grandma vibes but the well-meaning type of scary

[dirtytransmasc]

I don't know why, and maybe this is me projecting my perfect bbg himbo man standard's onto him, but, Matthias feels like the type of friend to mother hen, but in like... a begrudged sorta of way.

like, he wakes up super fucking early, so he makes everyone breakfast, pretends to complain about it, but then watch on as his friends eat with a smile (he also insists on having "family" meals at least a few times a week, that not even Kaz is allowed to skip). he cleans really early too, forget sleeping in on a sunday, the 'house' most be cleaned, the bad energy must be purged (that superstitious ass definitely believes in bad vibes).

if one of the crows gets sick, he is force-feeding them homemade medicines and has a bunch of outdated old wives' cure-alls, tinctures, and traditions that he forces on his friends (he's putting onions in your socks, garlic in your ear, and opening your window the second he hears a sniffle). he's sitting at your bedside with soup in one hand and a literal pitcher of water and literally hand feeding you (does the grandma thing where he grabs your jaw if you struggle, cause your fucking eating it, there's no escaping it and the gallon of water he plans to make you drink at each meal). again, he even does this to Kaz, and complains the entire time, even when Nina tells him to stop and that he doesn't have to, he refuses to, cause he doesn't know how to stop.

he also has a bunch of like, immuno boost traditions. like he's making you take a snow bath after the first snow storm of the year (my grandma made me do this till I was like, 15, and I swear on my life it works, somehow), he's giving you awful spoonfuls of concoctions in the morning saying "it's good for you" in a very insulted and grandma-esque tone.

he complains that everyone is too skinny so he's always in the kitchen cooking something heavy and hearty. specially for wylan, cause he's the youngest, so he naturally mother hens him 10x more, that kid is not escaping the heaping amounts of meats and fish and bread this man is shoving down his gullet. he becomes a house wife in an attempt to "nurse these fools back to health" cause he's convinced they're all sickly/dying.

throws (aggressively and not at all lovingly) coats at kaz, cause the skinny pale demon is awful when he catches cold (that's totally the only reason). makes sure everyone leaves the 'house' with gloves and scarves. always has a fire going in the furnace at the end of the day. he has knitting vibes too? like, there's definitely a few blankets that he made himself, and they're everyone's favorites.

I think matthias just has repressed baby girl/housewife vibes, and I just want to embrace them in all their glory. I want him to be an apron-wearing, hand-on-the-hip, towel-on-the-shoulder housewife. I want him to be a single mom to the crows while constantly complaining about 'having to do all the work in this household' while also knowing full well, that he does not, while the others tell him he does not. I want him to take care of everyone because he gets all warm in the chest and he likes how it feels to be in the caregiver role and not the protector role (though he doesn't mind doing a bit of both). I want my mans to find peace, and what better way than to be a housewife.

the crows absolutely love it, especially with their massive amalgamation of family issues, this nice to have some semblance of normalcy, even in the form of an over-bearing grandma in a big muscley fjerdan body. its nice sitting around the table and talking about their day. its nice having some semblance of a schedule to there days, to wake up knowing there will be breakfast waiting for them and a warm blanket to come home to. its almost comedic how fussed up Matthias can get about their poor habits, how he forces them all to eat or cleans up after them or forces a coat onto their shoulders as he prays to Djel for strength. nina and inej like seeing their boys smile, feeling happy, safe, and loved. wylan for once doesn't hate being babied, cause in this case, he just gets fed good food and has nice mittens thrown at him. jesper has always viewed the crows as family, and now they really are one. kaz hates to admit it, but the fjerdan isn't that bad, and maybe opening up to his crows isn't that bad either.

(the focus on kaz was purely to show this man's determination to his cause. he is so committed, he not only wants to, but gets kaz to let him wrangle him into his bs. Matthias "calls kaz a demon within moment of meeting him" Helvar gets Kaz "emotionally constipated to the point he pushes everyone away, including the woman he is down horrendous for" Brekker to take sick days, eat meals with the family, actually put some meat and color on his bones, on both of their (somewhat) free wills. that's gotta get him a medal or something.)

#I know Fjerda is based off of Scandinavia which is a Germanic country and I'm Slavic #and the two cultures are very different even between the individual countries within them #but the scary grandmas with their herbal/natural remedies are very similar #he has scary germanic/slavic grandma vibes but the well-meaning type of scary #my grandma was direct inspo #I didn't read enough of the books yet to know if/how ooc this is #but I don't care. fight with the wall #this is forever how matthias will exist in my head #no ones changing that #matthias helvar #nina zenik #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #six of crows #soc #shadow and bones