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iamjjmmma · 5 years

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Here it is. The thing I promised would happen on February 11th.This is a short story called “An Hour’s Nocturne” based on something earth-shattering that will most likely happen in the next episode of Glitchtale. Contains major, major character death. Trust me. You are not ready for this. No matter how much you think you are.

“Ground control to Major Tom…”

Sans woke, and the world hit him. It was a truck, and he was nothing more than a little rock in the middle of the road. He could hear. He could hear. He could hear… He could hear the same song playing in the background a room or two away, his father putting it on replay whenever he was stressed. But what could be-

Then came the pain.

Pain was a throbbing thing, Sans would come to know in those hours to pass. Pain was more than a feeling. It was sentient. Encroaching. It was something that could be learned, something that could be taught. It was a vessel. It was a worm, tearing its way just below what the world could see. It was a companion, this rotting friend of his.

Where was he? Where was he? He was in a bed, he knew that. He knew many other things, things scattered, things of a different life he knew more about. Things like photons, working energy, electrons. But he couldn’t force any of these words out. Minds, human and monster, tended to settle into this simple way after long rests such as these. They called it a “coma”, he was sure of it. Coma...coma. Coma. Coma! Coma? Comatose? Comatose? He’d been in a coma all this time? The gears in his brain went into motion, although they were sputtered, uncared for. Comatose? Could he walk? He was so tired. Could he?

But where? Where? Where was he? Where?

The blobs roared their way outside; Sans knew the noise all to well. While he was in his mountain of hate, the mountain that seared through him perhaps even more than this pain did, he knew the noise. It had become a part of him, and Betty had done such a commendable job at muffling the screams that the roaring was all he heard.

But where, where, where?

He wasn’t anywhere he’d been before, or at least anywhere he remembered. There was a glass case over him. Did his family think he was dead? He remembered Snow White from the movies. Skin pale as bone, just like his. A glass case, just like his.

He tried to teleport, but everything inside him turned to searing plasma, as if Jessica wanted another round of vengeance that was much more than the first. Something tore out of his throat. Something awful, something that left him shaking more. He meant for it to be a cry for someone to help, at least before he could get enough energy to teleport, but it came out as a noise an animal would make. A noise a monster would make. Something like him.

He stayed there, didn’t make any noise. Maybe a monster should be caged like this, even if the cage was made of glass.

It was only when his father opened the door, opened the glass over Sans’ bed, that it came.

The pain came, and it came sudden, came swift, and the throbbing, sentient… thing, this creature, came back, and it wracked him. It wracked him, and the bones were whipped, and whipped, and torn, and whipped again, and Sans was arching, and the front of his hospital gown was touching the glass. There was a thumping sound, but he kept his hands firm to the bed, clawing, clawing till he felt foam instead of fabric. But his feet were alive and wild, kicking, kicking the poor bed to shreds.

“D-D-DDRG-DAD-”

“Yes?” His father wrenched his hands to flight. The medicine came coursing, and Sans came to, but the pain was still there, only pushed a few feet away. There was a gasping noise, and Sans didn’t know who made it until he found his own chest tired.

“Did you use the-”

Hands still clawing the bed. They never stopped. Pain was always there, only a few inches now.

“-use the Deter-deter-detRGG-”

Papyrus’ eyes turned into pools, and Sans knew he had to do something. Maybe keep his teeth clenched, at least when he wasn’t talking.

Or maybe smile.

He did for a moment, but the foundation became all skewed, and Sans had to go back to a monotone expression. A smile couldn’t be a smile if it was skewed.

The smile had seemed to make his brother chuckle a bit, but his father grew worse if anything, and he only nodded. No speech. Nothing but the heart monitor yelling in its unpredictable way.

The sound came, but a little quiet, then quieter before it ever got louder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, dear God, I’m sorry-”

It came again. The beast came again, and his lip quivered without him knowing, his legs making a plopping sound against the bed with him knowing. But he could do this. He had to.

One hand stopped from clawing the bed. He had to do something now. He couldn’t T onto anything; that would be too much of a trouble if he was ever going to try and speak. He had to do something. Wait? No, he couldn’t wait. That was all medicine could do. But he needed to do something, something… maybe sit his hand on his father’s lap?

His brother. He had to focus on his brother’s eyes. Then he’d switch onto his father, just like that. Just like that. Something to distract him, that’s all. That’s all he needed. Come on, Sans.

My brother’s eyes are orange. His eyes are orange. His eyes are orange. His eyes are orange.

Sans got his hand off the bed. The beast came screeching.

They’re orange, they’re orange, they’re orange, and they’re orange, and they’ll always be orange, and they’ll always be there, because he’s my brother and he has to he has to he has to-

The hand landed on his father’s lap, and the heart monitor shouted awhile before going back to its normal whine.

Now to get the words out. This was the hard part.

The left hand clawed deep, and the sheets were mauled, and his fingers found foam.

“Dad.”

He considered lifting his head, but only his eyes would work now.

“I wanted you to.”

It was enough to keep his father silent for the next hour, but not the pain. The pain was too loud, and each and every time either of the two tried to speak, it roared, and he kicked, and it interrupted the both of them. It was an hour, surely, but it may as well have been a day. A year. A lifetime.

The worst part of the hour was when thirst weaved its way through him, even though Sans didn’t feel it. He had to sit up, and the beast sat on him in retribution. This time he could bite; he had to bite, or else he’d wake up the whole of creation. He bit on the patch of torn-off coat that had finally loosened and fallen on the bed, and the noise, awful as it was, came from his throat, and he could feel Papyrus looking away before he saw him look away.

By the time it was done and the water had poured down, down into him, he let himself flump against the bed. The beast was there, certainly, but it was different. He’d let himself slide under it, rather than fight it. That was what needed to be done, he supposed, if he’d ever build enough energy to fight it in the first place.

But this time let him say a few words. “Dad?”

His father’s hand lay on his stomach. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry. Sorry for everything.”

“All’s forgiven. All’s forgiven.”

It was only now that the pain spread to his father, his bones being intact but his soul somewhere far else. It was only now that his father winced until he could hear his eyelids tugging at him, feel the tears soaking the throbbing bones he was holding in his hand. Sans’ eyes darted from left to right, from his father’s hand to his eyes and back again. “I need you to do something, alright? ‘Cuz it looks like I just might not be able to.”

Dr. Gaster tried to predict what thing he’d have to do, what beast he’d have to forgive, but his rationalizing turned into tumbling, stumbling, and his thoughts fell.

The monitors protested.; His father found he couldn’t muster an “alright”.

“Dad.” He looked one more time back at Papyrus, and then at a place only he could see, and then back at his father. “Tell Azzie that I’m back, alright? Just this one thing. Just this one thing for me, alright?”

Papyrus’ mouth stuttered open, but one glare from Dr. Gaster’s mouth made it silent again. They knew what had happened to the prince, known that he’d tangled himself in a mess far deeper than Sans had. They knew he’d been taken, stolen, the same way Sans had, and that there was nothing anyone could do to reel him back. But Jessica had been stolen from here the way Sans would be stolen soon. As Dr. Gaster was very quickly learning, there was nothing they could do to reel any of the two back. This was a different world Sans had woken to.

But maybe… just maybe, if the beast could be held back…

“Yes, son. I promise I will.”

A tear lurched its way out of Papyrus’ eye, but if Sans noticed, he didn’t say anything. But for a moment, Sans thought his brother was going to shove his way out of the room, and when in a half a minute his brother was still in the chair, Sans was surprised.

Before any more words could be said, his father lifted him up. Strangely, the beast was gone now.

“Dad. Dad. I’m so scared, Dad.”

“I know. I know.”

The monitors beeped to the point of exhaustion, and the world became nothing. The blobs were defeated into the half-dark that death often tends to bring. Except this death was littler, gentler, brought a blanket instead of pain to muffle the noise, to muffle the pain, the searing pain.

He was littler now. He was a child, resting on his father’s chest. A part of Dr. Gaster, a small part of him, unrestrained, wanted the rest to come later. His brain, his larger part, wanted it to come sooner.

“Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

He could feel his son’s fingers as they tried not to claw at his jacket, and he winced once more.

“Do you-”

He stopped.

“Do you still have the scarf?”

Papyrus snatched it off his neck, and it was only when he touched his brother’s hand that he started to cry. He cried out an awful noise, not knowing it was his until he felt the ache in his throat.

The sun slipped under the mountainside, and something died inside Asriel, something hateful, something wretched. He remembered something. Remembered the spear headed towards him when he was first under Betty’s verdict, remembered whose blood stained his clothes at the end of that day. He remembered, and his eyes turned green. Betty turned into a monster in Asriel’s eyes for the first time in months, centuries, and Asriel took the sword hilt in his hand.

The sun set on the Gaster household. Sans was so tired. So tired.

He looked into his brother’s eyes until they turned into marbles, glazed with water. He smiled, the way he always had.

And he died shaking.

#glitchtale #camila cuevas #sans dies

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ravennabriarhale-blog · 5 years

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Searching for Sound; Only Finding Silence- Ravenna Hale’s Timeline Playlist

Seoithín, seo hó- Seoithín, seo hó, mo stór é, mo leanbh/ Mo sheoid gan cealg, mo chuid gan tsaoil mhór/ Seothín seo ho, nach mór é an taitneamh/ Mo stóirín na leaba, na chodladh gan brón. (Hush-a-bye, baby, my darling, my child/ My flawless jewel, my piece of the world/ Hush-a-bye, baby, isn't it a great joy/ My little one in bed without any sorrows.)

Heavy in Your Arms by Florence & the Machine- I was a heavy heart to carry/ My feet dragged across the ground/ And he took me to the river/ Where he slowly let me drown

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day- Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go/ So make the best of this test and don't ask why/ It's not a question, but a lesson learned in timeIt's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right/ I hope you had the time of your life

Everlong by Foo Fighters- Tonight, I throw myself into/ And out of the red, out of her head she sang/ Come down and waste away with me/ Down with me/ Slow how you wanted it to be

World So Cold by Mudvayne- Children crying, cast out and neglected,/ Only in a world so cold, only in a world this cold/ Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes,/ Then watch them drift away

A Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails- You are the perfect drug/ You make me hard when I'm all soft inside / I see the truth when I'm all stupid-eyed/ The arrow goes straight through my heart/ Without you everything just falls apart

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve- Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life/ Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die./ I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down/ You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.

Brick by Ben Folds Five- Driving back to her apartment/ For the moment we're alone/ Yeah she's alone/ And I'm alone/ Now I know it/ She's a brick and I'm drownin' slowly/ Off the coast and I'm headed to nowhere

End of the World by Cold- Everyone knew the ending / Opened a bag of tricks / And stumbled over their own / They blew minds away/ Sort of cripplin' just like thunder / And it's gone today / I'm so happy that it's on/ Well it's the end of the world

One Million Miles by J Ralph- Away from...One million miles away from...home

Breathe No More by Evanescence- All the little pieces falling, shatter/ Shards of me,/ Too sharp to put back together./ Too small to matter,/ But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

Lithium by Evanescence-Lithium/ Don't wanna lock me up inside/ Lithium/ Don't wanna forget how it feels without/ Lithium

Church Bells by Carrie Underwood- Everyone thought they were Ken and Barbie/ But Ken was always getting way too drunk/ Saturday night, after a few too many/ He came home ready to fight/ And all his money could never save Jenny/ From the devil living in his eyes

Dragula by Rob Zombie- Dig through the ditches / And burn through the witches/ I slam in the back of my/ Dragula!

Never Too Late by Three Days Grace- Now and again we try/ To just stay alive/ Maybe we'll turn it all around/ 'Cause it's not too late/ It's never too late

Gone Away by The Offspring- Maybe in another life/ I could find you there/ Pulled away before your time/ I can't deal it's so unfair/ And it feels/ And it feels like/ Heaven's so far away

Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion- You were my strength when I was weak/ You were my voice when I couldn't speak/ You were my eyes when I couldn't see/ You saw the best there was in me/ Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

Key for what event each song is attached to and why each song was chosen for those events under read more:

I chose Searching for Sound; Only Finding Silence for Ravenna to for two reasons. The first is the obvious reason: it’s a reference to her deafness. The second and more important one is that Ravenna is looking for something to fulfill her. Something to distract her from all this new noise inside of her head created by the trauma of what Chad put her through. However, now she’s finding that there is nothing that is going to be loud enough to cover that new sound. Worst of all she’s finding that instead of some sound to grasp ahold of- something in the world to cover her feelings. There is only silence. And slowly she’s trying to learn how to live with that.

Ravenna is born (October 13, 2012)- This is a Gaelic lullaby that Ravenna’s Nana would sing to her.

Ravenna loses her hearing (November 2025; Age 13)- While recovering from her hearing loss, Ravenna starts to feel like a burden on her family. She can’t do most of the things that she used to do, and this starts to make her feel depressed.

Ravenna graduates from high school with half her associates done. Immediately leaves to London to get her degree in social work (May 2028; Age 16)- When Ravenna graduates and heads to London, she feels equally excited and worried. She loved her grandparents, and loved her time with them. Yet she knew it was right for her to go to London. So nervously she heads there with stars in her eyes.

Ravenna meets Chad O’Sullivan (January 2029; Age 17) and Ravenna starts dating Chad O’Sullivan (March 2029; Age 17)- Ravenna and Chad’s relationship was a whirlwind, and she ran deep into it quickly not thinking about anything but him.

Ravenna gets her Associates in Social Work (May 2029; Age 17) and Ravenna gets her Bachelors in Social Work. Starts working at Saint Barts (May 2031; Age 19)- The song is more about the kinds of things that Ravenna saw while working at Saint Barts. Too many times she’d have to watch as the world tore a good person apart, because they had no power. Often Ravenna felt exhausted by her work, but kept coming back because she knew it was important work.

Ravenna marries Chad O’Sullivan (June 2031; Age 19)- Chad and Ravenna moved so fast, because he gave her everything she thought she wanted. He complimented her all the time, he was charming, and he always seemed to know what to say to end an argument. He was the perfect solution to all of her problems it seemed.

Ravenna gets her Masters in Social Work (May 2033; Age 21)- After receiving her Masters in Social Work, Ravenna realized that this was the end of the road for her. She knew there was no way that she was going to be capable of finishing school, and getting her degree was bittersweet. She was happy that she got there, but sad that she couldn’t go any further.

Ravenna has a miscarriage (January 2035; Age 23)- This song is about an abortion, but it describes the isolating feeling that losing a child is like. Ravenna completely fell apart after the loss of her child, and this pushed Chad over the edge. It’s after this that he starts to abuse her.

Z-9 Virus starts in Georgia (February 2037; Age 25)- Apocalypse song!

Chad O’Sullivan breaks Ravenna’s hearing aid (March 2037; Age 25)- The song lyrics don’t match well, but the song is mostly instrumental. The instrumental really pins down the sort of hopeless sort of feeling that Ravenna feels as she realizes how alone she is now thanks to him.

Chad hears a radio transmission from the rebellion and goes to find them (February 2043; Age 31)- This song epitomizes how desperately depressed that Ravenna was. Just following Chad the entire apocalypse has left Ravenna empty with no hope that she could ever not feel bruises on her skin.

Ravenna and Chad find the rebel group. Ravenna meets Joseph Blackwood and Camila Grimaldi (September 2045; Age 33)- Ravenna starts feeling a bit numb as she joins the rebel group. She wants to feel hope, but Chad held a tight grip on her. In the past people had just decided it was none of their business, but over time Ravenna started to feel more hope.

Chad O’Sullivan is murdered (December 2045; Age 33)- A perfect song to describe the anger that finally was the root of Chad’s death.

The Pandora Experiment returns to Earth and arrive to the Rebel Camp (January 2046; Age 34)- Honestly, just a fun battle song. The lyrics don’t mean anything.

Humans settle in Belle Terre (February 2046; Age 34)- Belle Terre was supposed to be a new start for Ravenna. And in this song, she hopes that it’s not too late for her to build a new life.

Ravenna and Joseph Blackwood lose their friend Camila Grimaldi, she dies suddenly due to a brain aneurysm (March 2046; Age 34)- Camila’s death felt incredibly cruel to Ravenna. It was so sudden. Ravenna and Joseph both had to kill their own best friends, and Ravenna felt at that moment that Heaven was a million miles away.

Ravenna starts dating Joseph Blackwood (May 2046; Age 34)- Ravenna is convinced that it’s because of both Camila but mostly Joseph that she survived everything that has happened so far. She feels like she owes him everything, and she wants to thank him forever.

#album #album2 #music #timelinealbum

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theexceptionnottherule · 4 years

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September 3, 2020

I dont even know where to start. My life has completely done a full 360 and i feel like im stuck in park. From this pandemic to the government turning on itself to the passing of my beautiful grandmother none of it seems real at this point. It truly feels like a vivid horrendous nightmare. I keep hoping that i wake up and everything will be back to normal but as the days go on it sets in that this is my new normal. I usually say i embrace change but that is a total and utter lie i hate change or at least i hate change when im not ready for it. The abruptness both irks and scares me because it gives you 0 time to adjust and i have to just roll with the punches or get left behind. I so badly wish i could take off the rest of this year and hide and come out on new years eve. I feel numb some days and others i feel every single thing in the universe around me, like all my senses are heightened. I can’t believe my grandmother is no longer with us, it still doesnt feel real. It still hasnt hit me that shes never coming back, that that was the last time i would see her. I cant believe i even fuckin wrote that, that my grandmother is never coming back. That shes not going to call me on my birthday or be there for my wedding, graduation or for my kids. How is that even possible? Like that doesnt even make sense to me logically. Its like my brain cant connect those dots. I’ve never endured a pain like this before EVER in my life and im thankful for the last 29 years that i was protected from such agony. They say things get better with time but this definitely isnt the case for me as least for now and for what feels like a long time. I cant help but think of people like Ms. Colon who lost her only child, her daughter, Meg the Stallion who lost her only living parent, her mom and Vanessa Bryant who lost the love of her life and her daughter how they’ve maintained to stay positive, optimistic and bright, through this dark haze they are in.I feel as though they posses a level of calm that i am no where close to. How am i to ever really smile and laugh again, how am i supposed to feel protected in this big and scary world. She was the glue that kept us all together, she was the headquarters for our family. Eventhough she isnt presently here our family has never felt closer together. I love my family so much, the way we have come together during this time has truly shown our strength and i know she would be so proud. I would give anything to hear her voice or see her name pop up on my caller id. The love she gave me could never be duplicated not even by my little sister even though she is second place. My grandmother gave me unconditional love at all times, even when i wasnt appreciative of or even deserving of it. She never judged me or made me feel anything less than her sweet girl. She made me the woman i am today and i wouldnt have it any other way. My last living grandparent is gone and now its just us. I havent prayed nor spoken to God since everything has happened i feel as though im not ready for that conversation yet. Ive been wanting a change in my life because i have been feeling stagnant and stuck but never did i think the change would be this drastic, sudden or painful. There are so many things that i wish i could go back and do but time is a force that is constantly moving and i have to keep up with the pace. I wish the world would just stop spinning so i can just catch my breathe for once. Anytime i have felt stuck or needed a kick in the ass God knew exactly what i needed and how to give it to me. I just wish i was more prepared. The passing of my grandma has absolutely made me a softer, more forgiving, more sensitive, more compassionate, more understanding woman, its odd because i thought i had already possessed these qualities but now i am wayy more empathetic and sympathetic. The guard i use to have up to protect myself and block off feelings i didnt want to embrace (whether because i couldnt handle it or wasnt ready to face it) is completely gone, i feel so vulnerable and scared now. I feel a deeper sense of myself and feel more intuned to my emotions. I feel as though i dont know what my normal is anymore. Its like everything is up in the air now, i feel as though absolutely nothing is sacred anymore in this world, hell in this lifetime. Its like anything can happen at anytime and thats a very scary feeling for me. So much of my life has been predictable and regimented but now its like who knows what today brings. I wake up every morning almost flinching and bracing myself for a new day in 2020 because this year has been filled with soooo many unpredictable events. This year has tested me in soo many ways and it has shown me so much in these 9 months, things about myself, my circle, my relationships, my courage, my strength, my determination. I just wish i had time to just get away and recollect and recharge. I feel like as i approach this milestone birthday i am really starting a new chapter in my life. It feels like im officially on my own now and i have to get real serious about my future and which direction i want to take. While writing my grandmothers obituary i couldnt help but think of what i would want my own obituary to say. What accomplishments and milestones would be on there, what my family and friends would say about me, and who would attend. My grandmother eventhough she did not have many material accolades, she engrained in everyone she encountered the importance of family and love. Family and love are probably the two things ive had an abundance of and yet took for granted. Approaching 30 i now know that those are truly the only thing on this Earth that matter. How ive touched people and how ive made people feel is whats important in life, because that is what lives on after all your materialistic things are gone. I thought ive always been so grateful to have family but i now know that i wasnt, it just sounded good to say. I ache for my mother and her sisters who dont have either of their parents anymore and that all they have are one another. A sisterhood a bond unlike no other, they will forever be there for one another no matter what. They are literally all they have besides their children. The pain that i feel when i hear my mom say “now i dont have a mother” is shattering because i know she must feel so alone in this big world without her mom. I cant help but think about when my mom passes away how alone i’ll feel especially being that i dont have any siblings from her. But thinking about things like that wont do anything but cause me to be anxious, and i have to remember to stay in the present and make the best of the time i have now. I feel like a running theme for me has been starting over, i enjoy starting fresh i feel like it gives me a opportunity to try again. This is truly a new beginning for me and idk how to address it nor where to start.

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