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eatprayworm · 4 years

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without fox demons, no village is complete: an essay on tsomd’s li zilong and fox spirits

The big bad of The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty live action series, Li Zilong, is in many ways a mystery. We never learn his real motivations for wanting to take down the emperor, and there’s so many odd details about him that don’t add up (how did he disappear in thin air from Wang Zhi?). I propose a theory that provides an explanation for this antagonist: he is a fox spirit. I use a combination of sources to come to this conclusion. Let’s read.

The Real Li Zilong

A good place to start is the history of the real life Li Zilong. According to “The Eunuchs of the Ming Dynasty” by Shih-shan Henry Tsai, the Chenghua emperor established the Western Depot in 1477, with Wang Zhi at the helm. What made the emperor create the Western Depot? Well! The original mission of the Depot was to investigate the case of Li Zilong, a “transvestite” (the book’s words, not mine) who allegedly practiced witchcraft and had magical abilities. Li Zilong worked with a court eunuch to sneak into the imperial harem and mingle with superstitious women. And so, the Chenghua emperor created the Western Depot and had Wang Zhi search for any other witches or strange people. Wang Zhi went on to become a terror in the lives of many common folk.

So, the real Li Zilong was tied to mystical practices.

The Book Li Zilong

What about Li Zilong in the novel? Well! I haven’t read the novel so I can’t fully speak to it, but I’ve read some passages that describe Li Zilong. In chapter 3, Tang Fan discusses the Demon Fox Case, about a golden fox demon who was sent in to kill the emperor. This demon fox was said to be killed by the Ming Dynasty’s founding emperor. There was also a Taoist named Li Zilong who appeared around the same time, and for whatever reason, the court associated Li Zilong with the fox, and he was executed. After Li Zilong was executed, the emperor established the Western Depot so he’d have a more reliable source of information.

Since I haven’t read the novel, I can’t say if Li Zilong is really dead or if there’s more information on this case. I’d love to hear if there is! Otherwise, what we can infer here is that Li Zilong was, most likely, a fox demon spirit out to kill the emperor.

The book is not the show, though, so this could be dismissed. However, I propose that the show version of Li Zilong is indeed a fox spirit. To better explain why I believe this, we need to understand a few things about Chinese fox spirits.

What are fox spirits?

There is a very long history of fox spirits in Chinese lore. I’ve done a few hours of research, but I am by no means an expert, so take all of this with a grain of salt. Likewise, fox spirits are called many terms (huxian, humei, huli jing, to name just a few) and they have various roles within ancient lore. For the purposes of this essay, I’ll focus on some general fox spirit information.

There are some generally accepted lore about fox spirits. According to old records, fox spirits have long lives and can take different forms depending on their age. When they reach 500 years, they can take the form of a beautiful woman, a handsome man, or an old wise scholar. When they reach 1,000 years, they may enter the heavens and become a celestial fox.

In some stories, foxes are seen as good omens who bring wealth and fortune to humans. In other stories, foxes take human form and seduce men or women. In others still, foxes are seen as signs of misfortune, sorcery, and rebellion.

Powers

Fox spirits are noted to have particular traits and powers, including:

strike their tail on the ground to cause fire

the ability to possess humans

ability to see into the future

can see events up to 1,000 li away

invisibility

pass through walls

a cunning and trickster disposition

Motives

The motives of foxes vary. Some have no moral alignment. Others seek to play mischief and tricks on humans; others steal the spirits of men so they may increase their own.

There are also tales of fox spirits taking revenge, either for themself or a deceased individual. To quote one source, “Typically in folklore the Chinese fox had two basic motives, to show its powerful shape-shifting ability by assuming the form of a person or demon to achieve the second motive: that of revenge for some crime it perceived, real or imagined.”

Interestingly, this is not the only source to discuss fox spirits and revenge. One tale speaks to a fox who cursed three generations because it was harmed by the family. Another source states, “...the Chinese revenge-fox stories: the killed fox is able to punish his murderer, being almost as clever as he is.”

Li Zilong? A Fox?

Now, why do I think the show!Li Zilong could be one of these crafty fox spirits? It’s a combination of canon clues and some inferences on my part. Let’s begin!

Age & Revenge

Li Zilong tells Princess Gu’an that he is a descendant of the Li family, who ruled during the Tang dynasty. The Tang Dynasty. What’s interesting to note is that the Tang Dynasty ended in the beginning of the 900’s - over 550 years before the present day in the show. Why would a descendant from this very old royal family have it out for the emperor? And what does this have to do with foxes?

The Tang Dynasty was the height of fox and fox spirit worship. The Tang Scholar Zhang Zuo noted: “From the beginning of the Tang Dynasty, many of the commoners worshipped fox deities. They offer sacrifices to them in their bedchambers, and food and drink offered are the same as those consumed by humans. At the time there was proverb saying ‘without fox demons, no village is complete.’”

There are other mentions of fox demons and their roles as gods. In one instance, dozens of “fox demons” appeared at a temple honor Li Jing, a Tang Dynasty general who was revered as a god. In another instance, a temple was erected for the “fox kings” in the land. In the year 1110, the Grand Councilor ordered that 1,000 fox-king shrines should be destroyed. (Li Jing? Some demon foxes being called huli jing? interesting coincidences.)

So. We have Li Zilong, who was a descendant of the royal family that ruled during the height of fox worship. What’s more, Li Zilong wears the same type of headpiece that the Chenghua emperor wears.

Was Li Zilong truly the descendant of royalty? Or, is he perhaps royalty from the era itself, a remnant of the fox kings of old? After all, why would a descendant of the Tang Dynasty care about an emperor who lived hundreds of years later, unless he’s been around long enough to have a reason to care? Could he, like his book counterpart, have been slighted by the Ming Dynasty’s founding emperor?

When he finally confronts the emperor, he stares and says he’s waited a long time for this day. Maybe he’s waited over a hundred years.

Photos for reference:

Powers & Omens

Li Zilong exhibits traditional powers of fox spirits.

Invisibility. When Wang Zhi and he are walking out of the brothel, he tells Wang Zhi to look away. Wang Zhi looks away for a few seconds, turns back, and Li Zilong is gone. There’s no hint that he leaped away; he seemed to disappear out of thin air. Or, perhaps, he simply turned invisible. He pulls a similar trick when Tang Fan sees him across the street, but he disappears after a carriage goes by. Naturally, he probably hopped on the carriage. But….what if he didn’t. Additionally, how did Li Zilong get into the brothel when he was holding the meeting with the Oirats? Why was he so unafraid to be in public when he was literally public enemy number one? Only someone who could disappear quickly could have such confidence.

Precognition/knowledge. Li Zilong knew everything about everyone, even when it didn’t make sense for him to know these things. How did he know so much about the chicken cup? How could he predict the moves of the heroes again and again and again? How did he know the history of individuals so well? Sure, he had men that kept him informed. He had Qing Ge. But his ability to not only know so many past and current events, and keep a thumb on so many individuals and schemes (like the Yunhe silver situation) for years is very, very impressive. Almost inhumanly impressive.

Fire. Now, Li Zilong himself does not have the power of fire, but he sure is attracted to it. Ding Rong describes the explosions of the bolang as a sea of fire - and wouldn’t that appeal to a fox who can strike fire with his tail? Imagine being able to amplify this natural ability. Li Zilong seemed to grow particularly protective and fond of the bolangs; his eyes would light up, he asked for far more than he ever needed. A fox with a penchant for fire indeed.

Wealth & Rebellion. Li Zilong fits the archetype of the fox being both a benefactor and an ill omen. He says time and time again that he’s a businessman, and indeed he is: he fills the pockets of men (and himself) with gold, so long as they follow him. Sounds almost like worship? And wouldn’t an old fox king just love that? Additionally, Li Zilong is considered a rascal, an outsider, a rebel; Shang Ming, Wan An, and Wan Tong will collude with him, but they still deem him an “other”, an outside force. Fox spirits were typically seen as the other, as a sign of chaos.

Miscellaneous

Here’s some additional details I picked up while rewatching that lend some credence to my fox theory.

Fox Rings. On one of his hands, Li Zilong wears orange and black rings, side by side. These colors are typically associated with foxes.

2. Actual fox reference. In episode 47, Li Zilong warns Qing Ge that you cannot run from the eyes of the “three old foxes.” These mean the corrupt officials, of course. But what’s even more curious is what Dong’er tells the emperor: don’t run from Li Zilong, because he will always find you. So who is really the old fox here?

3. Qing Ge. One of the most common tales of fox spirits is them taking on the form of beautiful women to enchant men. Li Zilong adopting a skilled courtesan who canonically has men falling at her feet? Could this old fox king see a potential fox spirit in this adoptive daughter?

4. Tang Fan. In the Encyclopedia of Demons in World Religions and Cultures, the author states that “huli jing are especially fond of attacking virtuous scholars, as reasonable and virtuous people enrage them.” Li Zilong focused on Tang Fan as his real enemy. Not Sui Zhou. Not Wang Zhi. And why, when all three would eventually lead to his downfall? Because I think Tang Fan was the exact kind of scholar who Li Zilong couldn’t outsmart and beat, and he hated it.

5. Eyes. When Li Zilong falls down and dies, his eyes briefly change color. They flash from grey to silver; in the next scene, they’re brown again. What happened here? What spirit has left him? Could it be the death of a very old fox?

Conclusion

Fox or human? Descendant or royalty? Who knows what a Li Zilong is, but I think we can certainly assume he isn’t human - and may be the trickster from old. Ultimately, this is just my headcanon. At the end of the day, he may just be an old man who wanted to cause havoc for the hell of it. But I think this is a fun theory to entertain, and it gives him far more depth and intrigue than canon gave him otherwise.

Again, I am no expert in Chinese lore or Chinese fox spirits. Any mistakes are mine, and I’m certainly open to corrections!

#the sleuth of ming dynasty #tsomd #li zilong #huli jing li zilong #if anyone reads this kudos to you LOL #i figured if i was gonna write more of this au i should explain some of my thought processes #hastily written and not well edited bc whatever #lmao #mine

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 3 years

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Hi could you talk more about why youd recommend not watching ww84?

Sure!

warnings for under the cut: spoilers for WW84 and a bit of the first wonder woman; i only saw WW84 once a few days ago + it’s been a hot sec since i saw the original so if i get a few details wrong i apologize

tl;dr with no spoilers: WW84 is a poorly executed movie that insults its viewer with its messy and self-proud plot, bad character/relationship portrayals, and offers a personal slap in the face to a majority of its audience in their various discriminations, generalizations, and plot points.

the first point is the racism, made well by the post i reblogged here, (edit: found a second post that goes more in depth here) so i’d just suggest looking at that for that matter

next is just How they portray wonder woman in this one

i really appreciated the way the first movie portrayed diana because they did very well in keeping true to her Amazonian raising and life while still clearly showing she was a woman

when i say this i mean that a lot of media has a tendency to either make women who are very fem and keep to traditional gender roles or women who more or less shun femininity and attempt to largely fulfill only male gender roles

diana in the original is a warrior, strong and fierce, but still a woman, not trying to shun that or anything. she wears styles that suit her while still being woman’s styles (she doesn’t force her way into a suit), she talks of and addresses her womanhood proudly and without issue, etc

i want to note here i have no issue with female characters who act extremely masc and reject femininity- i love them tbh- but it’s important to remember that it’s not inherently against womanhood or anything to be a strong fighter who doesn’t stick to every stereotypical social gender norm

and the first wonder woman movie shows this very well

WW84... oh boy

first of all, wonder woman’s changing outfits every other scene. even between scenes where it makes no sense! i’m not saying she can only wear one set of clothes but Geez this was too much

not to mention an entire scene dedicated to her helping steve pick a fashion look? i understand this was to highlight the ‘80-ness of the movie, and it would’ve been fine if it seemed diana was helping him pick a period appropriate look, but it was clear she was trying to help him pick a ‘fashionable’ look which. wonder woman? from the island without a sense of popular outfits or fashion? what?

and the amount of focus on her wearing high heels.... ugh

i’m not saying you can’t have a badass woman who also likes social gender norm fem things but it felt clear that wasn’t what they were going for

wonder woman in the first movie liked practical fashion and not only were many of her outfits not that, her high heels? one hundred percent not practical

it didn’t fit her character and felt horribly out of place, clearly just the producers / directors / whoever going ‘oh, wonder woman is a woman how can we show this? fashion! high heels!’ and i hated it

(warning: imma be jumping from thought to thought as they bump into each so uh... enjoy the train-of-thought style of flaw informing)

and starting at the beginning like.... wow that scene had no purpose

wonder woman cheats in a competition and is punished for this by losing it in the end. except. this is stupid for two reasons

as the audience is shown she didn’t cheat on purpose. she made a mistake, lost her horse, and made a strategy to get back into the race despite this. honestly? i thought the story was going to be a lesson in ingenuity in the worst looking situations. but it wasn’t, which is bad storytelling, because the lesson is then based on a point that isn’t even that true

it is literally Never important again later. unless you count what was going on with the wishstone as ‘cheating to victory’ which i dont. that’s not even what the villain did. he wanted to take over the world. there’s no victory there you get without cheating. wtf. why did that message even happen

going into the actual story we meet the cheetah pretty quick, when she’s still whatever-her-civilian-name-is

and the cheetah... she’s such a bad villain

she doesn’t have the same backstory as she does in the comics

in this one, she uses the wishstone- which is a whole ‘nother thing in and of itself- to wish to be like diana, because ig being smart as hell but social awkward as hell too is so bad you need to desperately wish to be someone else? i hate that trope, but onwards-

she gets that, but in exchange for not only diana’s likable personality she also gets her wonder woman powers (and she loses her glasses, because pretty and cool means no glasses, right? /s), she loses her kindness bc of the rules of the wishstone- in exchange for your wish, it takes smth u care about a lot from you; for her, it was her kindness

this makes her villain! just because she lost her kindness. yep. honestly not a good look regarding all those people out there who are low/no empathy and can still be wonderful nice people but i digress

at one point she complains about why she needs to keep her power rather than go back to being just Her and i fucking wanted to scream

she has like. half a dozen degrees, clearly a couple of friends even if she’s awkward, and she’s got a life that was perfectly okay before she made the wish. as someone who is also socially awkward as hell, it infuriated me to here her acting like it was the fucking end of the world she couldn’t be more extroverted or whatever. there are ways to work on that!!! the movie trying to convince the audience she had a legit reason to not un-wish her wish (for the good of the entire world) was stupid and insulting

also her transformation between ‘looks human, wearing cheetah-pattern clothing‘ to ‘humanoid with cheetah fur/skin/appearance’ literally just. happened. for no reason. that was stupid

y’know what else is stupid? the wishstone. it was clearly just a plot device, and a poorly executed one at that. it isn’t even consistent in how it works

and they did a whole side thing with like. how it had the language of the gods written on part of it and it appeared in random locations across history around the time of great tragedies and,,, that was it???

they never explored the divine connection??? who planted it or why??? how it location traveled or anything????

like i said. poor plot device

i move on now to steve

oh boy steve

he’s brought back to life by diana’s wish on the wishstone, but... it causes him to come back in someone else’s body, quantum leap style. this is. weird. and is never ever addressed by him or wonder woman except once in a throw away comment. like. diana and steve kiss and are implied to have sex while steve is in someone else’s body and neither of them seem to care. this is not good!!

and then his relationship with diana? HORRIBLE

in the first movie they were barely starting to fall in love, only barely a couple even if that. more importantly they were friends, and that night he died diana didn’t lose a potential lover so much as she lost her first non-Amazonian friend

but WW84 portrays their relationship as if they were not only already a couple, but one close enough that even after forty years since steve’s death diana is still completely and hopelessly in love with him to the point that she’s literally hanging off his arm as soon as he’s back and making love that very night

it plays again once more into the misrepresentation of wonder woman’s character (how stereotypically hollywood female to fall over herself at the sight of her love interest) and it wrecks their relationship, which had been a lovely friends-who-could-be-more

what they should’ve done was focus on that friendship, build it back up after the long gap for wonder woman, and then started to rebuild that possible romance (and tear it down at the perfect moment... right when steve had to go again... ah that would’ve been lovely)

but they wanted to go in full-haul on the romance and it just felt. wrong and weak to me. diana’s refusal to consider giving up her wish (to get her powers back and save the world) is bc she doesn’t want to let steve go again, which makes more sense in the context of a first and true friend rather than a hastily slapped together love interest

steve’s character was generally good tbh but the way he played into the story? bad

moving on... the main villain of the movie? sucks. he’s just. fucking awful

despite a motivation being given that he wants to have money, he launches into wanting to take over the world for no real reason. he takes advantage of people for this and almost destroys the world he wants to rule for it. the main reason he stops this is for his son, who up until now he largely ignored and didn’t seem to care that much for outside of basic obligations. and the movie dares try to make him sympathetic by throwing in the fact he grew up poor and was bullied and not liked which i HATE

lots of people are/have been poor. lots of people are/have been bullied (myself included). that does NOT justify them DESTROYING THE WORLD TRYING TO TAKE IT OVER. can it be used to show the audience why he does what he does? yes. but to use it and clearly try to make it a reason to hand-wave-away what he did? NO. FUCK NO

also fucking. y’know how wonder woman took down this villain? she talked to him and the world. she gave a stirring speech while she laid slumped against a wall, not injured, just too weak to beat a bit of wind. she talked and she looped her lasso around his leg so she could talk to the world to to convince them to give up their wishes

once again... the mischaracterization

in the first movie, wonder woman gives a stirring speech while fighting Areas. it’s done in her battle, beating the god of war up while reminding him of what she stood for, who she was, why she would keep fighting for a broken world

it was BEAUTIFUL. it was MEANINGFUL. it was BADASS but SINCERE

this was weak. and it clearly wanted to be more than it was

the whole movie wants to be more than it is- it wants to have an important meaningful message like the first movie, about wishes for the self and war and the world and whatever. and it wants it so badly it does it horribly

the message is ham-handed yet messy and unclear and not right. it doesn’t make sense, and it feels poorly plotted. the movie thinks it’s more than it is and that makes it very hard to watch

and to finish my rant off... WW84 lied to its audience

did you see any ads for WW84? i did. they were bright, vibrant, funky music, stunning moments, action and intrigue. i was thrilled for a movie like it

the actual movie isn’t that

it’s not nearly as action filled, it’s not as ‘80s-focused as it leads you to believe, some of the most prominently featured moments barely matter

the lightning swing? pointless, as at that point in the movie wonder woman’s learned how to fly and does it for no reason but the trailers

and that cool suit? introduced in a random myth for no reason halfway through the movie, brought in at random with no explanation, only there for show and the trailers

WW84 is not the movie is lead people to believe it was, and the movie it is is poorly executed and insulting to a variety of peopler/minorities

if you’re gonna watch it, pirate it. i can give you a link. just don’t give dc your money or your legit views for it

#that got long #but what can i say? im passionate about my bad movies #and ww84?#that was a bad movie #if anyone wants clarification on smth let me know #wonder woman 1984 #ww84 #ww84 spoilers #the cryptid speaks #lost in the fray

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polzkadotz · 4 years

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Asas reread their fics - ftayc - part 4

And we’re back to rereading this fic!!!! last chapter i reread was the 7k monster of chapter 3, and this one... oh. Oh, this is also 7k?

wowie

if you want a spoiler to interest you, here we go lmao

we begin with this author’s note bc I don’t think I ever really talked about it here on my tumblr???

It was sort of my first time being recommended, really. I had noticed that my hit count had gone up substantially and I couldn’t understand it, but it was nice??? and then i found the post on the library and I was like Oh. I See.

Whoever it was that recommended me, thank you. Seriously.

But enough mushy-wushy, let’s tackle this giant.

We begin with this exchange, which...

I was trying to be funny and this still makes me smile so at least I amuse myself lmao

Neil needs to free himself of the plot device I pulled out of nowhere and he taps into his reserves of power that he has hid away for, basically, forever. One thing that I wish I had made more clear, which was basically the vitriol going through my mind as I wrote this fic, was that Neil had been cutting himself of his powers and how powerful he was for a fucking long time because

1) he bought into his mom’s reasoning that his father was simply Not Someone They Could Face and Win

2) he had made himself fit into a mold that would “make him survive” but, by doing so, he basically chained himself to a fraction of the three-dimensional person he used to be, which made meeting Jean and finding out that he had become a pet god for a human even worse because Neil could see all the ways they were similar but Neil had been doing that shit to himself voluntarily.

Originally, when I thought about making Neil a god in this fic, I did think about modeling him out of an existing god but also, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make him be someone who was struggling with letting himself be what he was with his full-potential. Someone who had been cutting himself back for so long he had basically lost whatever sense of personhood he used to have. Someone who had started to get tired of cutting parts of himself and forgetting what he used to be so he would survive for--

What? Survive for what? Neil eventually realized he hadn’t been a person for too long and as long as his father was alive, he would never feel safe to be.

Now that I think about it, Neil was very much me working through my own shit about trying to live as myself at the same time that I had different versions of past me struggling with the person I was becoming. The person I wanted to be.

Anyway, back to the story.

There’s a throwaway paragraph where I sort of tease that Andrew’s dragon is becoming "hungry” and it was basically me trying very hard to foreshadow that the priest thing was going to happen lmao

After battling for two paragraphs against the thought of creating a new priest, Neil gets them back on track to go as far away as its possible for both dragons flying.

Nicky tries to get Neil to talk about the god thing, and I like how I made it clear that even being reminded that he had been a god was something conflicting to Neil.

And then we get to the part where Neil suddenly remembers that he has a lot more money than what he had previously said in the first few chapters, but who cares about plot consistency, am I right? Does it show that this fic was edited hastily? Because I can guarantee that it was :3

They stop in Mumbai, I think (the place is not important for past Asas and honestly... can’t say that’s changed lol). Nicky tries to get Neil to talk more about being immortal and stuff. Neil gives a bit of backstory, as a treat, and Kevin reveals what he knows, as a threat I guess lmao

I kind of imply that Neil only had one priest, which... I remember is not what I put in the sequel.............. so I do recommend you reread your fics before writing a new piece, wink-wink

OH MY GOD I MADE NICKY ASK WHY NEIL’S ENGLISH “WASN’T WEIRD” AND THEN I REPLIED WITH A SENTENCE THAT WAS BASICALLY STRUCTURED WITH PORTUGUESE GRAMMAR AND SOUNDS VERY WRONG IN ENGLISH

Asas... my god, Asas.

Anyway, after a lot of questioning, they eventually go to sleep and, when Neil wakes up from a nightmare, he has his daily fairy tale dose from Andrew, who’s also awake. I gotta be honest, I don’t even remember that fairy tale but it explains the Aaron, Andrew and Tilda.

After everybody wakes up from their naps, they go to their last destination: Tokyo.

Wait lemme check:

when did they leave Mumbai in my story?

when did they reach Tokyo?

yeah, that math totally checks out.

Whatever. As they arrive in Tokyo, Neil splurges even more money on a hotel for the whole crew, even though they had been pretty not nice to him as a whole lmao. But! The boy believed he was going to die, so what was he going to do with all that money?

Nothing, so he programmed an email to be sent to Andrew with the info for some of his bank accounts and fucked off to try and find what his mother had stolen.

Neil gets on a ferry that will take six hours to reach the island where is the volcano that his mother had made him hide his father’s immortality. Neil got nekkid because he wanted to have clothes when he got out of the volcano, you know?

(Also, yes, I’m gonna ignore the other time inconsistency from his travel inside Japan, I was very much pressured by the whole “got recommended on the library” okay, you can judge me through those lenses)

Unfortunately, for him, he wasn’t alone when he finally climbed out of the volcano.

Fortunately for him, this Ichirou Moriyama doesn’t want his father, who is very much interested in becoming immortal, to actually become immortal. Neil explains the whole immortality thingy (I found some typos and honestly? I shan’t fix them. It adds character) and Ichirou subtly kicks Neil’s clothes closer to him, which... I get it, my guy. It’s kind of difficult to have an intimidating conversation when someone’s bits are out and about.

As they are trying to hash out their problem -- as in, Neil’s father told them that Neil’s immortality would be viable to cure Kengo --, Andrew appears blowing his ball of flames onto both of them, and Neil uses his powers to create a pocket that repels the fire, so it doesn’t touch him or Ichirou.

(Why didn’t he use those powers on his clothes, as well? Dunno, don’t poke at my plot too much or it will definitely crumble right into your face, you’re gonna inhale too much dust and die from fandom toxicity, AND THAT’S NO WAY TO REACH A GOOD DEATH)

btw:

Neil, my dude. The dragon thought you were in danger? Chill out???

Neil rages for a few seconds but quickly turns that into a situation to ask Moriyama for his protection against his father, since Neil just technically saved his life.

Oh, and if you think “Uhhh, why would Neil even believe that Ichirou would keep his word?”

Don’t worry, I gotchu:

Ichirou agrees with the deal, for plot reasons. Since he got a deal out of it kind of easily, Neil thinks, “Wait a minute. If I give my father’s immortality to this Moriyama, literally passing the hot potato around, then the Moriyamas won’t be after me for an immortality, my father probably won’t be immortal and come after me as the death machine he used to be and I might be able to use it to free a certain god????”

So Neil uses his father’s immortality to bargain for Jean’s freedom, and he doesn’t wait for Moriyama’s response for that one. He simply hops onto dragon!Andrew’s back and they fly away into the... sunset? Sunrise? Don’t ask me, I clearly can’t keep track of the time passage in my fics.

And this is the end of the chapter!

Let me say something that I hope will be quick: this chapter felt much better written to me then the other three. It’s shaky in places, definitely, and it could’ve gone through a more severe round of editing, but I can certainly feel the positive outcomes of the pressure I felt after my work got a shout-out. This fic had been pretty much geared towards myself, so writing about the world-building wasn’t my focus at all in the other three chapters. In this one, I try to at least explain some concepts I came up with which???? Go me??????

I still wish I had taken the time to work on this entire fic to make it as close to what I had in my head, but in a comprehensive form for the attention that it got, you know? I mean, from the ashes you crawl is still my most everything -- most kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks... It deserved so much better but also... I like that it feels rough? I like that it can clearly help to contrast the growth of my style or whatever?

It was written after a long, long writer’s block, and it only got edited and posted because I decided to participate in an event for a different fandom and it got me excited about writing again.

Anyway, I’ve talked too much. Here’s to hoping I can contain myself in the next posts lmao

#rereading #fic: from the ashes you crawl #fic: ftayc #dragon!andrew #dragon!andrew minyard #god!neil #asas reread their fics #god!neil josten #all for the game #all for the game fic #aftg fics #andrew minyard #neil josten #my fics #tfc fics #my writing

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bxebxee · 7 years

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and what a way to go

Note: written for @jeonalis because i love my college girl <3 Based on THIS THING. Names of gadgets and widgets and places and things cheerfully borrowed from all the nerd stuff I used to love many years ago. Mostly Ratchet and Clank though. I think there was also an unintentional fight club reference, but i’ve never seen the movie and have no desire to do so either. Points if you spot all the random nerd stuff I put in there.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Crack, Sci-Fi, Smut Lite (Diet Smut a.k.a. Lazy Smut) Warnings: it’s crack. it’s (bad, lazy) porn. Ah, actually there’s some physical violence. Word Count: 4225 Rating: BC, for bad crack.

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook.

“Excuse me?” he splutters.

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on.

“Hit me,” you dare.

Good entertainment is hard to come by in the Year of Our Lord 3333. Jungkook warily orders his holo-projector to turn off the hyper-realistic porn of two human women tribbing because it’s a re-run, and he’s used up his free trial of the sensory package. Somehow actually smelling the sex and experiencing mild neuro-stimulating jolts at key points of the adult film really made the whole porn watching experience better. Anything less was just depressing.

“Did you shut that shit off?” Yoongi asks from outside Jungkook’s bedroom. The door being shut is a clear indication that Masturbatory Events were happening, so the older human boy has learned to not even bother knocking.

Jungkook heaves a sigh because he doesn’t even have a boner. “Yeah,” he answers glumly.

“Is your junk tucked in?”

“It wasn’t out to begin with.”

The bedroom door opens with a force that only comes from a person seeking to pick a fight. Yoongi frowns at Jungkook’s unmoving, prone figure. “You do know that your holo-projector is still connected to the amplifier downstairs, right?”

Jungkook bolts out of his bed, face drawn into a comically horrified picture of contrition and shame. “Uh...” And Yoongi’s girlfriend was over too. He’s dead. More than dead. Deader than dead.

“Lucky for you my girlfriend found it hot and a little bit funny, but seriously...”

This is mortifying, and Jungkook swears he needs to move out as soon as possible - except he’s still broke and fixing hovercrafts from time to time wasn’t any way to make a steady living.

“Sorry,” he grimaces, and scratches the back of his head with a sigh. “I’ll... leave you guys to it then.” (He tries his best not to look her in the eye when she leaves. She fucking waves though. Weird.)

It is 127% because of boredom that he finds himself “borrowing” (read: taking without consent) Yoongi’s mobile airship for the express purpose of hyperwarping to Abraxas-II for a night of wild, youthful revelry. Much to his roommate-slash-employer’s dismay, Jungkook has no qualms about contributing to the statistics of bored young human boys wreaking havoc across the galaxy. If not now, then when? Humans did have one of the lowest life expectancies around, and he wasn’t going to wait until he was pushing fifty-five and seeking cryo-regenification to have a little fun.

“Warning, impending destruction of Abraxas-II,” the Computer tells him twenty minutes into hyperwarp. “Recalculating.”

What the actual fuck. Jungkook takes out his limited edition communicator designed in the tradition of old-school, earth-class cellular devices from the early 21st century. Thankfully he still has signal. At least the UMN was doing something good for the galaxy.

BREAKING: LARGE METEOR IMPACT TO DESTROY “SIN PLANET” ABRAXAS-II - says the headlines. Almost immediately, there are op-ed interviews from Voths and Cragmites who loved to, colloquially speaking, talk shit about everyone else - especially anyone else having fun. Jungkook suspects it’s not some freak meteor because the live feed of the impending destruction shows the “meteor” looks a lot like an intentional laser beam coming from an ominous-looking ship.

“Changing course to Abraxas-X,” the Computer lets him know in a cheery voice. “Estimated time of arrival: seventeen minutes.”

“Uh, Computer, I think I’d rather just go home,” Jungkook tells the ship’s control mainframe.

“Unable to execute command. Due to the projected debris fallout from Abraxas-II’s destruction, all routes back to HOME are closed until further notice from the Federation. We Apologize For The Inconvenience.”

Yoongi will kill him for real this time.

“Did you hear? It’s Abraxas-II this time,” Jimin remarks, wrapping his hand in bandages for the fight tonight. As his “fling for the night” you were allowed in the locker rooms by a creepy looking Agorian guard.

You roll your eyes because of course you heard about the “meteor” about to destroy another planet. The Federation really needed to get their act together. And where was Captain Qwark when you needed him?

“Don’t get distracted, baby boy,” you smirk, completely ignoring his question in favor of sticking to a topic you actually cared about - money. “Tonight is a toss-up.”

You and Jimin played dirty when it came to Abraxas-X’s infamous underground fighting cages. It was a pretty simple scam: Jimin fought based on a pre-determined strategy and you either bet for or against him depending on how it was supposed to go. Sometimes it made more sense to dope up on nanotech painkilers and lose on purpose, and you made sure to bet high and reckless on those days.

Win or lose, you and Jimin always made sure to come out on top. Sometimes though, Jimin faced odd toss-ups like the one for tonight, V, and you had to bet carefully based on Jimin’s condition.

“I think it’ll be a win for tonight,” Jimin decides, handing you the vial of unused nanotech. And herein lie the loophole that allowed for your cute little scam: officials only checked the winners to see who’s doping. Never the losers. This made it easy for Jimin to inject, inhale, and rub as much nano into his system on Lose Nights so that he could take a beating and come out normal the next morning.

“If you say so,” you hum, “And be safe.”

The Agorian guard opens the door, and Jimin pulls you into a kiss fit for the pay-per-view holo-channels. “Fight’s starting soon, lovebirds.”

“Thanks for the hot sex, baby,” you laugh at a smirking Jimin, waving as you exit. “I’ll be cheering for you.”

Jungkook nearly pisses his pants when he gets to Abraxas-X because it’s the furthest thing from Abraxas-II. For one, it’s fucking cold and snowing, unlike Abraxas-II’s modulated temperature system where it was always tropical year round. He’s ridiculously under-dressed for this climate, but that doesn’t mean he can afford to planet hop until he gets somewhere warmer. He’s running out of hyperwarp fuel, and his communicator’s battery is nearly dead.

For another, it’s pretty much deserted along the landing site in a scary, dystopian kind of way.

“Oh fuck me,” he says, but it sounds more like, “Oh-hoh, fuc-c-c-ck, m-me-hee,” because his teeth clack from the cold.

He has a good seven percent battery left which he uses to shiver his way towards civilization. The first group of parka-adorned humanoids he enounters looks at him as if he’s a fucking Cragmite.

“What’s up,” Jungkook smiles in what he hopes to be something more winsome and not pained. “Hey, can you guys direct me to the closest Gadgetron vendor? My communicator is about to die.”

Parka One points to a cave with a fading sign that reads COLOSSEUM, as if the anguished shouts and curses weren’t frightening enough.

“I don’t know if they sell communicators though,” Parka Two tell him. “The guy’s an ex-RYNO dealer.”

What the fuck was this planet even?

“Th-thank you.” Jungkook prays it’s warmer inside.

“No Foul.”

You glare at the referee who refuses to call a foul on that shout. That V fighter asshole is very good at getting in potshots that look legal, and you don’t like it one bit. Jimin is getting his ass handed to him on a rusty copper platter, and you’re more than a little pissed off that you just bet a whole week’s income on this.

V, or whatever his fucking name was, actually has the nerve to wink at you. Apparently he thinks you’re Jimin’s fuck toy, and he’s trying to use playground tactics to piss off your “boyfriend” into making mistakes in the ring. Well, the joke is on you because neither Jimin nor you cared two shits about taunting, and Jimin was still losing.

Your gaze shifts to your partner in crime who shakes his head. He should have taken the fucking nano.

You nod slowly while tucking your hair behind your left ear and blink three, distinct times. The message is there: Next round, submission, tap out. It would be a loss for tonight, but at least Jimin wouldn’t be too injured.

In a fit of annoyance you leave the crowd and make your way towards the exit.

“You don’t accept bolts?” comes an incredulous voice by the entrance next to Jeff, the Gadgetron vendor. “How could you possibly not accept bolts?”

“Sorry, my sexy, muscular, human macho man,” Jeff purrs, “It’s either munny, gil, or credits. I don’t live in the stone ages of bolts.”

You blink when you see a human man fuming at the way Jeff condescendingly refuses to sell him a communicator battery pack. Humans were rare in these parts, so you’re a little taken aback to see one standing at the entrance of the Colosseum wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt and a pair of black pants that looked like they were painted onto his skin.

“My friend, no- my boss is going to kill me unless I get in touch with him, and I literally only have three percent battery. This Abraxas-II bullshit is really-”

“Oh honey, everyone is inconvenienced by Abraxas-II,” Jeff smiles, knowing a wallet when he sees one.

Unfortunately for Jeff, you also know a wallet when you see one too, and that guy with the nice thighs looks like he could do some serious damage in the ring. You want him - for your scam, of course.

“Oh Jeff,” you call out in sing-song voice, hastily shrugging off your parka and pulling down your top.

“Whaddya want?”

“A communicator battery pack,” you answer with a cute smile and a wink in the human guy’s direction.

“Five hundred credits-”

You give him a long look. “Jeff.”

“Abraxas-II-”

“Don’t,” you warn, balling your fist.

“Two hundred,” he replies meekly, and you pay him using your card.

You accept the battery pack and promptly hand it over to the human who’s looking at you in awe. Hook, line, and sinker. And for your next act, you turn away saucily and head for the locker rooms, even though that’s exactly where you came from. You’re pretty sure the pretty boy wouldn’t notice.

“Hey wait,” comes his voice, and you can’t help but to smile because it’s all so predictable. “Wait, what’s your name?”

“Like that’s important,” you laugh, shooting him a flirtatious look. “You got your battery. Go make your call.”

You walk into the crowds once more just in time to see Jimin tap out with a sour look on his face. He looks surprised to see you still here because he thought you would have just left.

“What the hell is this place?” the human next to you exhales, looking around in awe.

“Welcome to the Pits of Abraxas-X,” you grin. “People beat each other up here for money.” As if it weren’t obvious.

“Well fuck.”

“Jungkook, Jimin. Jimin, Jungkook,” you make the introductions in a careless fashion as Jimin ices his bruises. You hand him a vial of nano with a frown.

“Nice to meet you,” Jungkook mutters, eyeing Jimin’s black eye warily.

“Yeah, whatever,” you brush the niceties aside, “Now that we all know each other and seeing as we’re all in the at-least-fifty-percent-human club, let’s get down to business.”

“Wait what?” Jungkook frowns, looking at you with a giant question mark on his face. He only followed you in here because he thought you were hot and maybe (just maybe) on the slim chance that you might blow him in some seedy locker room.

“First of all, you owe me two hundred credits plus tax,” you inform Jungkook who looks like he swallowed a lemon. “Second of all, if you came in here in an airship, you’ll need hyperwarp fuel, which is expensive as fuck on this planet.”

Jungkook gulps.

“Oh, unless your boss can wire you two thousand credits of course,” you smile sweetly.

“Two Thousand,” Jungkook hiccups.

“Lucky for you I have a plan,” you continue, ignoring the way Jimin groans. “My fighter is going to be out of commission for the pits until the nano’s out of his system, and I’m already in the negatives for this week.”

“So what’s your plan?” Jungkook asks, already getting a sense as to where this is going.

“You are the plan, Jungkook,” you tell him, “I need you to play substitute for Jimin for about a week. Can you do that?”

And even you ask him, you’re not really asking him. You’re practically ordering Jungkook to be Jimin’s substitute. The “or else” doesn’t even need to be said because the guy has no other options. He’s stranded here anyway, in desperate need of cash to escape and already two hundred credits in debt with yours truly.

“I don’t know how to fight,” he sighs glumly, “I’m gonna get beat up a lot, huh?”

Your gaze drifts to his thighs and his biceps. “Jungkook, I think with a little training you should be okay. But yeah, you’re going to get wailed on.”

He looks terrified so you amend your statement. “Ah, you’re not going to feel any of it though. You just have to act like you’re in pain.”

“What?” he gasps.

You hold up a fresh bottle of nano. “I love biotechnology and messing around with this shit,” you giggle, “Everyone reacts differently to nano, but for humans, it’s found to be particularly good at repairing physical damage. That’s why it’s illegal in most fighting communities.”

Jungkook lets out a small, choked sound because not only was nano injections illegal in “fighting communities,” this shit was also illegal in five hundredish out of six hundredish planets in the Federation. Whole Planets have outlawed this substance, including his home world.

“It’s safe,” you guess, “From my experience.”

And Jungkook does not know what to say because it’s either get beat up by alien uglies without nano, or get beat up with nano. Yoongi would probably tell him to “just say no to drugs” but Yoongi wasn’t the one facing a just-under-five-foot terror in the shape of a human girl.

“How can I trust you?” he asks, attempting to sound cool.

And you really have to laugh because he’s too cute. “You don’t get out very much, do you?” you smirk, shaking the tube of nano before injecting it straight into a vein in your forearm.

“Here we go,” Jimin snorts, watching the two of you share in Prime Banter. Jungkook almost forgot the older human man was even there.

You let the nano filter through your system, and it’s quick because you’ve done it so many times now. “I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook.

“Excuse me?” he splutters.

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on.

“Hit me,” you dare.

“Wha- I- I can’t hit a girl!” Jungkook finally spits out.

“Cute,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “If you won’t, I will.”

And Jungkook, bless that boy, actually steps in between you and Jimin. “No, dude,” he says in his best strongman voice. “It’s not right.”

“She has a million little robot things currently filling up her entire body waiting to repair even the slightest bit of damage,” Jimin explains as if he’s talking to a little kid.

“She is right here,” you remind the boys, tapping Jungkook’s shoulder. He turns around and you promptly wack him across the face. “And she is still waiting for that hit, Jungkook.”

Jungkook to his credit really doesn’t like getting physical. He was kind of lying when he said he didn’t fight because he did learn some human fighting techniques growing up, and he could hold his own in a bar brawl. But that was always up against human fighters, never stronger, weirder aliens that could potentially kill him.

You piss him off though. He realizes belatedly that you probably paid for his battery pack on purpose, and he’s beyond annoyed because if there’s one thing he hates, it’s being used.

“You wanna get hit so bad?” he challenges through gritted teeth, and you nod.

“Go for it, baby,” you tease, crooking your finger in a crude, pseudo-sexual gesture. “Give me your best shot-”

Jungkook steps back, engaging in a standard stance and rears his leg up to kick you square in chin. The force of the blow has you slamming into the lockers, the loud metallic sound ringing through the cramped space. You’re dizzy and disoriented, but you don’t feel a damn thing other than excited.

“Oh,” you sigh, mouth curving into a satisfied smile, “Oh, fuck, you’re good.”

Jungkook doesn’t have a damn clue what to say.

Jimin takes a day to teach him how to play Wounded Warrior in the pits, and you take another day to teach him the ins and outs of Coliseum etiquette, frequently encountered alien species, and about Abraxas-X in general.

Jungkook is thankful that Yoongi is more worried about him being stranded on a foreign planet rather than angry at his missing mobile airship.

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologizes for the fifth time. “I really, really fucked up.”

Yoongi doesn’t disagree. “Yeah, but you’re safe. And you’ll find a way of getting back. Just don’t die.”

“I’ll try my best,” Jungkook sighs, depressed out of his mind when he hangs up. His first fight is tonight, and while you’ve gone over the plan with him a million times, he still can’t get rid of the jittery feeling that he’s going to ruin everything.

“You’re actually perfect, you know,” you tell Jungkook. “See, you look really built and like you’d totally kick everyone’s asses. And they’re gonna bet that way. But you’re going to lose, Jungkook. You’re going to take the hits and get on the ground.”

“Can’t wait,” he deadpans.

“Good,” you smile cheerfully, ignoring his willful attempts to be sullen, “Because my estimations show that we’re going to make about five hundred credits tonight.”

Jungkook whips his head towards you from the news. Five hundred? that only meant four nights of this could lead to his freedom.

“Don’t get too excited, champ,” you tell him as you pat him on the shoulder. “It’s five hundred divided by three.”

“Three?”

“Jimin’s cut of course.” You don’t leave your friends out of a cut, even if he did fuck things up with V.

Jungkook looks like he might cry.

The first thing Jungkook notices about the ring is that it smells bad. It smells like the time when Yoongi’s Markazian ex-girlfriend’s cat-looking pet climbed into the exhaust vent of their repair shop and never came back out. They had searched, and searched for that annoying little beast, and they finally found it from the stench of the rotting corpse.

Likewise, it smelled like rotting organisms here.

Jungkook wants to throw up from the smell and from the nerves. The nano is in his system, and it feel kind of itchy and akin to someone tickling him from the inside. His opponent is an eight-feet tall Agorian boxer. Fuck Everything.

“You can do it, sexy!” you shout from the crowd, playing your part of adoring pit fangirl. The funny thing is that you’re not the only one yelling these sentiments to him. There are other pit girls screaming their love for Jungkook even though this is his literal first time making an appearance.

To be completely honest, you didn’t blame them one bit.

The horn sounds, and the Agorian charges at Jungkook. And instead of cowering, Jungkook charges right back, much to your surprise.

“Oh,” you gasp, eyes widening when he draws first blood, using the same kick he used to hit you with on the Agorian.

Jungkook’s opponent is unfazed, and sends a killer right hook at Jungkook’s side. The blow sounds painful and like it hit a bone from the nasty crunching sound. You can see Jungkook’s confusion because he heard the sound, and he felt the force from the blow, but there was also a distinct lack of pain.

The surprise fades nearly instantaneously and you only notice it because you were looking for a flaw in his acting skills. Jungkook launches into the routine Jimin trained him on - rolling on the floor in pain. The referee blows his whistle and it’s all over.

The fangirls mope around you.

“It’s his first time,” one of them says.

“Yeah,” another one agrees.

“He’ll get better. He has to. I mean look at him.”

You smirk when you see the referee shake his head and signal to the official that this match is over by TKO. Keep dreaming girls, you think. This is your house.

“Payday,” you smile, handing over Jungkook’s cut of the winnings.

Jungkook’s eyes go wide at the number. All that for taking a punch to his ribs?

“Good job out there,” you compliment. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Jungkook wonders if he should even feel proud of this, but it does feel nice to have done something to work towards a goal.

“I have to say I was surprised though,” you comment, “I didn’t think you’d charge at Ortax the Merciless like that.”

“Just reflex,” Jungkook mutters shyly. He doesn’t really know why he did it either.

You wink, and watch as Jungkook’s ears go red in front of you. “It was a nice touch. Got the bets going up in your favor for a short while.” You pause, wondering if you say the next thing on your mind for all of three seconds before deciding that life was too short to play it safe. “It was fucking sexy.”

Jungkook blinks owlishly.

“Goodnight handsome. Take your vitamins.”

Jungkook continues the losing for two more days until he’s matched up with V.

You frown at the match up because you can’t tell what kind of alien V is because he looks so humanoid, but he’s not completely homosapiens either. His eyes and reflexes give everything away.

“You have to win this one,” you tell him point blank.

“Are you nuts?”

You shake your head. “You have to. We lost the shock factor of people betting for you. Now people are going to bet against you, and even if you lose it’s not going to make a difference money-wise. You have to win for us to collect the winnings from tonight.”

Jungkook swallows. “That means no nano.”

“Nope,” you confirm. “You go in cold. And you have to win.”

“Gee, thanks for not putting any pressure on me,” Jungkook sighs.

You don’t have the luxury of feeling bad because your rent is kind of past due. “Jungkook, let me put it this way,” you start, “If you win, that means you’ll probably have enough money to back to your home planet.”

“Where Yoongi will murder me,” Jungkook nods. He’s pouting again.

Your heart warms at how his expression is in direct contrast to how his body looks cut up and bruised from the fights he’s had in the past few days. Jungkook’s handsome, baby face is so incredibly juxtaposed on his toned fighter’s body in the best way possible.

“You’ll get another thing if you win,” you start, biting your lip and sitting down next to him.

“What?”

“I’ll kiss your boo-boos better,” you mutter into his ear. It’s a come-on, obviously.

Jungkook swallows thickly when he sees your suggestive expression. “Like a blowjob?” he asks.

“Yes,” you answer, opting for simplicity.

Jungkook wins.

Jimin is not expecting this at all. He’s finally recovered from his fight with V, and after getting a text announcing Jungkook’s victory, he supposes a little congratulations is in order for the youngest in your group of scammers. Jimin breaks out the Ogre Killer from his stash of Serious Liquors, and makes his way towards the locker rooms where Jungkook and you would no doubt be high-fiving it up.

He sees the Agorian guards with their ears pressed against the door when he arrives.

“Uh-”

“Can you shut up?” Agorian A hisses, ear pressed firmly on the metal.

“Fuck, I just heard her slurp,” Agorian B giggles.

Agorian A glares at Jimin. “I missed the slurp because of you.”

“Slurp?” Jimin questions. Without a word, they unlock the door for Jimin to enter, and he sees you on kneeling on the floor with a mouthful of Jungkook’s dick.

The younger man’s attention is entirely focused on you, but you manage to make a sideways eye-contact with Jimin.

“Shut the door,” Jimin orders, glaring at the guards.

Jungkook gasps when he hears Jimin’s voice, but you pull him back to concentrate on you when you pull away to suck at the tip of his penis.

“Jungkook was really good today,” you laugh, laving your tongue against the underside of his cock. “He beat V.”

“So I heard,” Jimin replies, taking a seat on a bench and staring at the image in front of him. “Just to clarify, you texted me so that I could watch you suck his dick, correct?”

“Correct,” you answer.

“Correct? What the fuck?” Jungkook moans. You suck him in deep and let him hit the back of your throat. And just to add a little spice, you fake a gag. “Fuck!”

You make him cum in about sixty seconds.

(Later: “What do you mean you’re staying in Abraxas-X?” Yoongi hisses over speaker. He calms down only marginally after Jungkook tell him he just wired him money for the mobile airship. That wasn’t even the point? This Kid!)

#bangtan bookclub #bts writers #noonanet #CMBNetwork #jungkook fic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook scenario #jeonalis #member: jungkook #genre: crack #jungkook smut

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