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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

#bnha 305 #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #shimura nana #ofa the first #banjou daigorou #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #'deku. sweetheart. your other vestiges and I just want what's best for you'#'have you tried... *not* saving people?'#only to backpedal SPECTACULARLY when he was all 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT SAVING THEM'#yeah okay guys #you're not fooling anyone #but it's okay I still love you

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lamptracker · 6 years

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FIC: Win-Win (part 2/?)

Wrote this as I’m slowly getting caught up on blurbs. I am going to attempt to update this on Mondays. We’ll see how well that works out hahaha

Anyway

Part 1

FIC: Win-Win (Part 2/?)

Overall Summary: Temporarily homeless, the reader needs a place to stay. Her friend Tom, who has a reputation for being a womanizer, has an extra room… and an idea.

Very loosely based on the How I Met Your Mother episode “World’s Greatest Couple,” where Lily posed as Barney’s wife to help him get rid of his one-night stands.

Part summary: The reader’s friends find out about her agreement with Tom. Her ex, Tony Revolori, has some doubts.

This is mostly filler to introduce everyone else, but it’s still important to the story!

Also, Jacob and Zendaya are dating. No idea why, I just like ‘em together.

Tagged: @sspider-parker @dipshithipster @stephie-senpai @lemirabitur @gravity-jade21 @ocaptainmycaptainrogers @hollandfieldblurbs @unicorn-princess-1999 @peter-holland-parker1996

“Okay, hold it.”

Jacob Batalon sat across the table from (y/n) at their usual booth in their usual pub. He’d ordered a round of beers for the group - her, himself, Zendaya Coleman, Harrison Osterfield, and Tom. He handed (y/n) her beer and grabbed one for himself.

“Yeah?”

“You and Tom - who almost never hang out outside of this place - are living together?!”

“Just temporarily.” She snagged a spicy pretzel from the bowl in the center of the table, popping it into her mouth. “He’s letting me stay with him until my landlord’s done with all the pest control. Big rat problem or something.”

“Well… I get why you couldn’t live with me. But why not Z? Or Haz?”

“Harrison only has one bedroom, and I’m allergic to Z’s cats.” She grabbed another pretzel; Jacob widened his jaw expectantly. (y/n) tossed the pretzel directly into Jacob’s open mouth. “Does Tony know?”

Jacob scoffed as he chewed. “How does he know something that I only found about three minutes ago?” He grabbed a pretzel out of the bowl.

(Y/n) shrugged. “Good point.” She opened her mouth; Jacob tossed a pretzel into her waiting mouth. “Oh, and I occasionally have to pretend to be his wife.”

Jacob, who’d opened his mouth to catch another pretzel, quickly closed it. “You what?”

“It’s to scare off his one-night stands. You know how he has trouble getting them to leave sometimes? That’s where I come in. He gives me the signal - like, this morning it was ‘Would you like any cream or sugar?’ And then I walk in, she accuses me of being his wife, we don’t deny it, she leaves. I’ve been there three days, I’ve done it twice, it’s perfect.”

“It’s evil.”

“So what? Beats being homeless.”

“What beats being homeless?” Zendaya asked; she and Harrison had just arrived. Harrison slid into the booth next to (y/n); Zendaya sat next to Jacob, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, (y/n) is living with Tom now.”

“Only temporarily!” (y/n) exclaimed as she tossed another pretzel at an unsuspecting Jacob; he quickly opened his mouth and deftly caught it.

Zendaya shook her head. “You two weirdos and your pretzel thing. And you know I have an extra bedroom, right?”

“You also have Rosie.”

“Oh, yeah.” Zendaya sighed as Jacob wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Missed you today, babe. How was work?”

“You know, another exciting day in the world of accounting.” Jacob pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Heard your show this morning. Awesome as usual.”

“Thanks,” she replied, smiling. Zendaya was the co-host of a local radio station morning show.

“Nobody has asked me how I’m doing,” Harrison interjected, almost indignantly.

“Nobody cares,” Zendaya retorted. “We’re much more interested about (y/n) and Tom living together.”

“Only temporarily!” (y/n) exclaimed yet again.

Jacob laughed. “Oh, I left out the best part. She has to pretend to be his wife!”

“His what?” Zendaya nearly shrieked.

“Oh, to scare the chicks away,” Harrison said as he grabbed his beer. “Seriously, is anyone going to ask-”

“That’s pretty much it,” Tom said as he joined them. “Hello, Mrs. Holland.”

“Evenin’, Mr. Holland.”

Zendaya just shook her head.

“Well, you guys do what you have to, I guess.” Jacob picked up a pretzel, pretending to toss it at (y/n); he popped it into his own mouth instead.

“Jerk,” (y/n) sneered as she took another drink of her beer. Noticing Harrison pouting next to her, she laughed. “How was your day, Harrison?”

“Fucking finally!” Harrison sighed. “I got promoted! You’re looking at Wilson Technologies’ latest Project Lead.”

Everyone at the table cheered and offered their congratulations.

“We’re all growing up!” Jacob exclaimed, wiping away a fake tear. “Harrison’s getting promoted, Z’s radio show is the number one show in town, (Y/n) and Tom are married-”

“They are?”

Everyone looked up. There, standing at the end of their table, was Tony Revolori.

Also known as? Jacob Batalon’s roommate.

Oh yeah, and (y/n)’s ex-boyfriend.

(y/n) laughed. “Not for real. Just fake-married. To scare the chicks away.”

“They do live together, though,” Jacob said.

“Only temporarily!” Tom and (y/n) yelped simultaneously.

“It’s just until they’ve got the pest control problem in my building taken care of,” (y/n) added.

Tony nodded. “I see. Um, (y/n), can I talk to you over here for a minute?” He jerked his head to a spot not far from the bar, but just out of earshot of the group.

“Uh… okay.”

Tom and Harrison let her up as she met Tony at the designated spot.

“I don’t like this,” Tony said.

(y/n) scoffed. “Well, I didn’t like when you cheated on me after two years together, and then started dating the girl you cheated on me with two days after we broke up. But okay.”

Tony sighed. “This isn’t about that.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“I don’t like you living with Tom.”

“I don’t recall asking for your permission.”

“Dammit, (Y/N), would you just- I mean, uh… you know how he spends his free time.”

“Yes.”

“And you know he might… try that with you, right?”

(y/n) gave him the oddest look she could possibly muster.

“Are you serious right now? Like, are you seriously serious? Look, Tom may sleep around but he has a code, okay? Nobody in his friend group. That means I’m off-limits. Just ask him.” (y/n) scoffed again. “Not that I would ever anyway, I mean… he’s good-looking and all but I have standards.”

Tony nodded solemnly. “Well, okay. Just… just be careful, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Should’ve thought about that before, you know, you hurt me. See you later, Tony. Tell Morgan I said hi.”

“Um, Morgan-”

“Hates me. Feels threatened by me, like I’ll steal you back from her or something.” (y/n) snorted. “Like that would ever happen. Anyways, this was a good talk, Anthony, I’ll see ya later.” She patted his arm before rejoining the rest of the group at the table.

“What was that about?” Tom asked

“Just typical ex-boyfriend crap. Now, let’s have a little fun, guys. How do you think the wedding went? You know, if there’d been one?”

“Oh, this was not pre-planned, you just know it,” Zendaya said. “I’m thinking drunken Vegas decision.”

“And they were definitely married by an Elvis impersonator,” Jacob chimed in.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” Harrison asked. “Because that’s the only way I see Tom ever getting married.”

“You’re a true friend, Harrison.” Tom nudged Harrison’s arm with his elbow.

“Drunken Vegas Elvis shotgun wedding?” (y/n) sighed. “Oh, Tommy, you make me feel like the luckiest girl alive.”

Tom sipped his beer. “Anything for the love of my life.”

“Would you like any cream or sugar?” Tom asked loudly from the kitchen the next morning.

“Oh, no thank you,” a girl’s voice replied.

Tom looked expectantly at the hallway. “I said, would you like any cream or sugar?”

“And I said, no thank you.”

“Oh, shit, that’s me,” (y/n) muttered, tossing the stack of quizzes she was grading to the side and rushing into the hall. “Good morning, baby, how- Tom? Who is this?”

“Darling, let me explain, I-”

“Oh, my God!” The girl shrieked. “Is this your wife?!”

“Of course I’m his wife!” (y/n) shouted, stomping over to where Tom and the girl were sitting. “How could you do this to me, Tom? When I’m carrying your child, nonetheless!” Without warning, she brought her hand across Tom’s cheek; the slapping noise echoed through the kitchen.

“Oh, no. I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I’ll just be going.” With that, the girl quickly gathered her things and ran out the door. Tom rubbed his sore cheek as he smiled.

“Well done!” he said. “Pregnant, huh? That’s good.”

(Y/n) shrugged. “Well, I had to live up to part of the Vegas Elvis Shotgun Wedding, didn’t I?”

Tom laughed as he drank his coffee. “And that slap? Genius! You did not hold back.”

“Eh. Always wondered what it’d be like to slap someone.” (Y/n) poured herself a cup of coffee. “Oh, I was thinking. We want to sell the ruse that we’re married, right? We should do a little redecorating, then. Nothing huge, just maybe some pillows for the couch. Little area rug. Stuff like that.”

Tom stroked his chin as he thought about it. “Not a bad idea. We can go this weekend?”

“Sure. Right now I need to finish grading this stack of quizzes I told my fourth-period kids I’d have graded three days ago. I always pull out the old ‘you know how English teachers are’ excuse. They’re high school kids, they seem to buy it.”

“Right.” Tom sat down at the table again. “Hey, what were you and Tony talking about yesterday?”

“He doesn’t like our arrangement. Thinks you’re gonna try and sleep with me or something.” (y/n) grabbed a grape from Tom’s date’s abandoned fruit salad and popped it into her mouth.

“I would never. You’re my friend and now, my wife. You’re off-limits.”

“See! I told him that. But he thinks I’m easily swayed by your charms or something. I mean, the idea of us? How ridiculous is that?” Tom burst into laughter. “Utterly ridiculous!”

But you know what they say about famous last words...

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #win-win

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