#guys i think im into coc

[pink-wysteria]

Okay I'm 3 for 3 on Grizzly only plays fuckable characters and it doesn't show signs of stopping gang

#jrwi #bitb #apotheosis #the suckening #hes hot in all of them #this man cannot make a not hot character #i havent listened to pd yet so dont come for me for that one #also bitb rules #its so cool #guys i think im into coc #i wanna play some coc #charlie is a good gm #anyway im in love with rumi #currently running through apotheosis #jrwi riptide #jrwi bitb #jrwi the suckening #jrwi apotheosis #rain falls

[milkkkkkkkkkk]

cw: explicit content, oral sex, vaginal sex, afab!reader, teasing, smut, mdni

word count: 2.8k

"You were soaking wet from the storm outside. You made your last delivery for the day, but still couldn't go home. Will the offer for some hot cocoa turn a bad day to a good one?"

jim halpert x reader

WORST DAY

You were thankful for your new job. It was awful most days, but thursdays... You had started working in delivery, pastries to be precise, and worked monday through thursday. And on that one last day, you got a weekly order from Dunder Mifflin. The receptionist always smiled at you, she was very sweet, and the guy who was apparently the boss didn't miss a chance to make an inappropriate comment. But there was a reason you kept making these deliveries, even if you could ask someone else to do them. You met his gaze, a couple desks over. There he was, brown wavy hair and soft eyes. You felt the butterflies in your stomach, and you heart raced a little. You held his gaze, not wanting to seem shy, and he looked down a couple of seconds later, showing a small grin on his face. That was the highlight of your weeks. The donut delivery to Dunder Mifflin.

One day he started to receive and sign the deliveries himself, taking the chance to make small talk, ask about your day or maybe your plans for the weekend. You surprisingly found him really easy to talk to, and learned that his name was Jim, his birthday was october first and he always had jam and cheese sandwiches for lunch. Your crush had developed into something more than just your heart skipping a beat. You'd noticed his eyes trailing down your body, and him leaning a little bit closer than needed, and how easy he made you squirm. You wanted him, and the tension between you two was undeniable.

That was your routine for a little over three months, stealing glances and hidden smiles, talking and flirting a little before you had to go. You'd grown comfortable around each other. And that had been your regular schedule, never a mishap. But today was different. The rain had you almost completely soaked, but you were making sure that your tiny umbrella covered the donuts completely and kept them dry, even if it was at your expense. You struggled to open the front door and at the exact moment you managed to get in you crashed into someone, resulting in a box of donuts on the ground. Thankfully the box was sealed with tape and none of the donuts actually hit the floor, but the glaze was messed up. You scrambled and mumbled a string of apologies, mentally cursing yourself and everyone else. You had a rough morning, and this was just making your day worse.

Gentle hands met yours when trying to lift the box off the ground, and as you looked up from underneath your long eyelashes, you met the gaze you were so familiar with. He looked a bit worried, and his mouth moved, saying something you didn't hear, you were too busy trying to comprehend what was happening.

You started to realize the state you were in, and asked a soft "Sorry?"

He smiled and asked "Are you okay?" while getting up from the ground with you.

"Oh," you chuckled slightly "Yeah I'm okay, I'm just having a little bit of a bad day."

"Strong storm outside..." He trailed off looking at the window to the rain outside. To be honest, it was raining pretty hard.

You took the chance to look at him for a second, taking in his wet hair and sticky shirt. Thinking he must've got caught up in the storm as well, and scolding yourself for staring.

"So um... Do you have any plans for today?" He suddenly asked, locking his eyes with yours.

"Thankfully this is my last delivery for the day, though I can't really go home, they're fixing a leak" You sighed, thinking how you couldn't even relax at home during the storm. You'd end up in a library maybe, you'd have to hope they'd let you in with soaked clothes.

"Im uh, done for the day, got off early," He started, "We could maybe go to my place" He suggested and you looked at him.

"I make killer hot cocoa" He finished with an enticing grin.

You considered it, it would be a chance to get closer, and maybe more...

You finished the delivery, deeply apologizing to the receptionist and after explaining the situation and the state of the donuts, you assured her the next delivery would be free of cost.

Finally, you opened the door to his car. He was waiting for you outside of the building, and turned on the heat to warm up. He lived 20 minutes away from his office, and actually closer to your apartment too. You walked into his flat, looking at the simple and a little bit messy living room.

"I'll bring some dry clothes for you" He said, disappearing into what you assumed was his bedroom. You took the chance to walk around the kitchen, it was clean and organized. He reappeared with a black t-shirt, some red and black pajama pants and a towel.

"These pants were my brother's, I think they'll fit" He said as he handed you the dry clothes. "The bathroom is over there" He pointed to a white door.

You thanked him and went into the bathroom, locking eyes with him as you closed the door, intentionally leaving a gap big enough to catch a peak. You turned your back to the door as you started to undress, feeling his eyes on you. You unbuttoned your shirt, and slowly slipped it from your shoulders until it hit the floor. The bathroom was directly across the couch in the living room. And you heard him as he sat down to enjoy the show. That made you even more giddy, and slick with anticipation. You unclasped your bra and took it off before moving to your pants. They were made out of soft fabric that was easy to remove from you body, and they dropped to the floor. Toeing off your shoes, you finally put on the t-shirt he gave you. You could tell he wore it often, it smelled strongly like him, and that made you wet. You grabbed the towel and put it around your neck, drying your hair a little, and walked out of the bathroom, to stand directly in front of him in only a shirt and panties.

"The pants didnt fit."

He was sitting on the couch, man spreading, one of his arms thrown over the back rest of the couch and the other one resting in his thigh. The first three buttons of his white shirt were open, and his tie ditched on the floor, his hair messier. The mood had changed completely, there was a clear sexual tension and heaviness in the air. His eyes had darkened, like his expression, and he looked directly at you. Looking at his shirt on your body had an effect on him. The hem of the shirt was just below your ass, and your perky nipples showed through the soft material. He didn't say anything and just stared, taking in the sight, and you noticed the growing bulge in his pants.

You took a step forward, and he stared at your eyes, finally smiling at you, a different kind of smile to the one he offered every thursday. Maybe today wouldn't be such a bad day.

You finished walking towards him, standing in between his legs, and you placed a hand on his cheek, making him look up. His eyes were hungry, and his hands acted like so. He started on your legs, caressing them, moving up to your thighs and then your waist and your back. You closed your eyes, enjoying his touch, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling his head towards your abdomen. After a few minutes he finally grabbed at your ass, looking up from your abdomen and pulling you to sit on his lap, straddling him.

You felt him then, hard and big underneath you. Leaning down, your breaths mingled, your hands moved to his neck as his hands cupped your ass. You were so close, yet your lips weren't touching.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

"Yes." You whispered back before he kissed you. Slowly at first, as if he was memorizing how your lips felt on his, or how soft your skin was beneath his hands. He began kissing you more deeply, almost desperately, and you wondered if he had wanted you as long as you had wanted him.

He squeezed your ass, making you open your mouth to let out a sudden moan and he took that chance to make his tongue meet yours. He explored every inch of your mouth, and you started pressing down on his hard cock. You were in a state of bliss, and wanted to take the next step. Moving your hands from his neck you moved to the buttons on his shirt, undoing them and revealing a toned build. You finished unbuttoning his shirt and ran your hands through his chest. Your legs moved away from his sides and onto the floor between his legs. One of his hands moved to his belt, unbuckling it with such and ease that it made it incredibly arousing. You dragged his pants and his boxers down in one go, not wanting to take more time, desperate to have his dick in your mouth.

It was big, and it had a nice girth to it. You stared at it, your mouth already watering. One of your hands grabbed it by the base, and your tongue drew a line from the base to the tip. He threw his head back, finding the sight of you unbelievably hot. He gave himself to the feeling of your mouth on his dick. After teasing a little, your lips wraped around the tip of his member, earning a small gasp from his mouth. You swirled your tongue around it, before hollowing your cheeks for a few seconds and letting go, making a popping sound. You spat on it, before putting it in your mouth again. You continued, feeling one of his hands tangle in your hair. You bobbed up and down for a few minutes, before your needs started to feel unbearable. A string of saliva connected your mouth and his dick when you pulled away, looking up at him. You found his eyes staring right back, with an expression you couldn't read. You stood up, standing in between his legs again, and his hands found their way to the hem of your panties, sliding them down your legs until they were on the floor. He wet his lips, his eyes filled with lust and anticipation. He gently pushed you to the couch, making you lay on your back, and you were suddenly feeling a little embarrassed when he opened your legs to get a good look at you. You were flushed, and Jim was delighted to see you like that, so impossibly lewd.

He bent down, kissing you right below the belly button, and he continued leaving a trail of kisses leading right to your pussy. He only gave one kiss to your clit before moving away, kissing the inside of your thighs, the sides of your abdomen, and getting so close to your pussy it was almost torture. He was slow, as if he was enjoying tormenting you.

"J-Jim please...."

He froze for one second before turning his eyes to you.

"Are you begging?" He asked in a mixture of disbelief and lust.

You looked away, pouty. "I guess I am" You said sheepishly.

You couldn't have known the effect that had on Jim, to see you begging for him, sprawled in his couch, wearing your shirt, and so wet for him. He would've liked to keep going, to keep teasing you, but you were so irresistible looking like that... that he couldn't help it. He kissed you pussy, finally, earning a moan from your mouth. You didn't know if he had neighbors, so you tried to stifle the sounds coming from your mouth as he started to dive right in your folds. He swiped his tongue over and over, sucking on your clit, plunging his tongue into your hole, making you a moaning mess. You couldn't stand it anymore, you needed him, needed to feel full of him. Would he fuck you if you begged?

"Mnhn... Jim... please fuck me"

That was all he needed to hear before kneeling on the couch, one hand on the handrest behind your head, the other grabbing at your thigh, looking at you with hunger. He grabbed the base of his dick, swiping his tip on your slick folds and earning soft sounds from you. He was tremendously hard. He aligned himself at your entrance before looking at you for approval. You nodded.

You felt the mixture of pain and pleasure as he pushed in, stretching you, going deeper and deeper, before he was all in. He waited a moment before slowly pulling back out, and going back in. He kept a torturously unhurried pace, making sure you were comfortable, and enjoying it as much as he was. He had a knack for teasing you, for making you beg, you realized. When you were ready to pick up the pace, you looked up at him, hands on his chest.

"Faster...please"

He buried his head on your neck, and you wrapped your hands around his back. He started to go faster, slapping sounds filling the room, mixing with the ongoing storm outside. He felt so incredibly good inside you, you could hear the little sounds coming from him, his hands gripping your skin, his lips leaving a mark at the crook of your neck. You felt a familiar sensation starting to build in your lower abdomen, the fast steady pace of him hitting a particular spot inside you that made you feel better than you ever had. The sex was mimd boggling. You were so close.

"Jim...ah...I-I'm gonna..." You said through strained breaths.

He kept his pace, gripping you tighter, the knot snapping. You moaned, gasping for air, feeling overwhelming waves of pleasure coursing through your body, your sensitive parts being overstimulated by him, now going at an uneven pace, chasing his own release. He moaned and pulled out, sticky white strings shot out of him, landing on your chest and stomach. His load was big, and he kissed you when he finished.

You were both exhausted, but he still stood up and went to the bathroom. He came back with a towel and clean clothes and asked if you wanted to take a shower. You did, and wore the comfy hoodie he gave you. While you were in the shower he cleaned the couch and started preparing some hot cocoa. You emerged from the bathroom, taking in the sight in front of you. Shirtless Jim, preparing hot cocoa for both of you. A blanket on the couch and some snacks on the table. You could get used to this. His back was turned to you, and you suddenly felt the need to hug him. You wondered if it would be okay, or if it would be crossing a line. You decided to risk it as you walked up to him from behind. Your hands slithered around him and he flinched. A sudden wave of disappointment hit you, and you tried to pulled away before his hands grabbed yours, and pulled them around him.

"Your hands are cold"

He said as he turned his head to smile at you. Relief washed over you, and you melted on his back, before he turned around completely, leaning on the counter.

"I need to take a shower" Was all he said before pecking your lips and disappearing into the bathroom for 10 minutes. You decided to make yourself comfortable on the couch, pulling the blanket over your body. He got out of the bathroom with wet hair, and you couldn't help but think about how hot he looked. You then realized what just happened. You just had the best sex of your life with Jim Halpert. And you were in his apartment, in his clothes, waiting for the hot cocoa he made for you. You blushed, today was truly an out of the ordinary day.

He went into the kitchen and came back with two mugs. He put on a show and you drank your hot cocoa, talking about whatever came to mind. It was truly a killer hot cocoa, and you hoped to have it again. Soon, you had both finished your drinks and now were cuddling on the couch, his arms lazily hung around your body, and you were playing with his hair.

"Let me take you out on a date" He said out of nowhere, and he smiled when you met his gaze. You returned the smile, agreeing to meet tomorrow for dinner. Your bad day had turned out to be the best day you've had in years. You gave into the cozy feeling of being in his arms, taking in his scent and his warmth, and fell asleep to his fingers drawing circles on your skin.

note: hi!! im new to tumblr so im sorry if my posts look a little weird. this was originally posted on ao3 with the same name. i hope you liked it!! <3

#the office #jim halpert #jim halpert x reader #smut

[frankinstainz-baby]

Mating season_donnie

The setting was the start of a hard time for the turtles, mating season. Mikey was playing video games to distract himself, but his horny urges were still high. Donnie was cooped up in his lab working on some new gadgets to help sooth his nerves, still not helping him. Leo was meditating to help but it only worked for a while. Raph was going hard at his weights and punching bagSuddenly, they all turn their heads as they hear my footsteps echoing off the sewers cold hard walls. "Hey my favorite boys!" I say joyfully, clearly not understanding what I just got myself intoThey see my tight white tank top that just barely shows my cleavage, my mini skirt fitting tightly on me, my rear slightly peaking out at the bottom. "O-oh um hey angel cakes" mikey says in a shaky tone as his eyes travel down my body, his boner getting more turned on. "what are you doing here (y/n)?" Leo says while gently biting his lip, donnie and raph coming out as they hear the new voice. They freeze in place as they see it's me, "oh just checking on you guys, i haven't been here for a while." I say while looking up at Leo with an innocent smile"Well being here right laced now is not the best time..." raph says as his voice is gruff and with lust. "Why not big red?" walk over to where Raph and Donnie are at with a confused expression. "Donnie would you like to explain? Leo says as he creeps up behind me, looking down at me as he bites his lip.

Smirking, "It's...mating season (y/n)" Donnie says as he blushes and adjusts his pants to help with the tightness. I look up at him confused, not quite understanding what he means"Yeah angel cakes, the time where we're all ready for-" "That's enough mikey." Raph cuts mikey off mid sentence, looking at him with an intimidating gaze. Mikey looks slightly scared and goes back to looking at me with a teasing face. "Fine Raph, see you later angel cakes-" mikey winks and walks back to his room, slowly moving out of my visionI blush, raph then grumbles something under his breath and walks away to his gym. Leo takes a glance at me, and takes a deep breath and walks back to his room. Donnie takes my hand, i look confused as he pulls me towards his lab. He sits me up on his table and stands in front of me, towering over me with his tall height compared to my smaller height. "Donnie-" i get cut off when he crashes his lips into mine, using one of his hands to hold my head in place. I blush intensely and kiss back, his hand rubs my thighWe start breathing heavilyHe pulls away to catch his breath. "I-im sorry (y/n), I just couldn't control myself, you just looked so pretty and that scent omg-" he says while blushing heavily. I lean forward and whisper to him, "please.....give me more…” I say in a pleading way while blushing, i've had a crush on donnie for awhile now and i finally can let that secret free. He looks shocked, his face forming into a smirk, and lust filled gaze, as you wish, baby-". He goes back to kissing me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I noan at the feeling, and dance my tongue with his. He pushes me back, and his kiss starts to get more aggressive. He sits in his chair, pulling me down to make me straddle his lap. I grind at his bulge, rubbing our crotches together. He groans and grunts while i let out soft whimpers and moans. He makes me straddle his thigh while he unbuckle his belt and pulls his pants down with his boxers. His cock springing out, I blush and gulp at the sight, it's almost the size of my forearm. "T-thats not gonna fit-, he chuckles, "sweetheart, 1'11 make it fit. Stretch you out real good.. I blush, he reaches his hands under my thighs, and practically rips my panties and skirt off. I gasp, he rips off my shirt along with my bra. He groans as he sees ne in my nude state, "wow, didn't think you would look this good-" he blushes, hovers me over his cock, lining up his cock head that's leaking with precum to my wet cunt. He slowly pushes in, parting my lips with his fat cock. I whimper and bite my lip at the new feeling, "o-oh donnie..-". I breathe harder as he groans while pushing in. "ah fuck such a pretty, tight cunt... He slowly begins to jerk his hips, pushing his way in. I whimper and moan at the feeling. He lets out grunts and groans as he pushes himself all the way in. "ah baby..-". He starts thrusting at a faster and harder pace. His breathing grows harder, he grips onto my thighs and spreads them more to go deeper. "Ah!- oh god!- Donnie!-". I moan louder at the changes, I've never felt this good ever in my life. I grip onto his shoulders and bite his neck to muffle my moans. "Mn- (y/n)-" he reaches a hand down, and uses one of his thick digits to tease my clit. I noan louder and squirm around hin. "Oh babydoll-. He moans out and goes faster, feeling close to his release. "Donnie, I'm so close..-". I bite harder and clench around him, He nods his head, "Me too..-". He thrust deeper, I come on his cock, he moans and pulls out and comes on my chest. "Oh my god that was incredible. I whimper softly, he sits ne on his desk. "Yeah, that felt so amazing... He pulls up his pants and picks up my clothes, he slides my underwear on and brings me a towel to clean aff his spunk. "Oh i'm sorry for being so rough with you, i just got a little too excited.". He looks worried that he hurt ne. "It's ok baby. I really enjoyed it.". I say as I clean off my chest and put my shirt on. "Ok good.." he smirks and looks at ne, another round?-..

#tmnt smut #teenage mutant ninja turtles donnie #tmnt x reader #smut #mating season

[lesbiankoby]

Can I hear any Kobyzolu/Kobyluzo headcanons you’ve got? Can I talk about mine? They’re on my brain 24/7 I need someone to understand

HIIIIII so i think the thing abt koby specifically is that he’s 100% shooting for the TOP, he wants to be luffy’s EQUAL, and as garps successor (and garp was the only one who could ever keep up with roger) he stands as close to plausibly achieving this goal as anyone does… as much as you can when your rival is **nika**, anyway, lol. zoro needs no explanation but he’s also luffy’s right hand you know— koby isn’t!

anyway i think the fact that all three of them (including zoro, who is clearly fond of koby even with their limited canon interactions) really absolutely sincerely believe in the force and sincerity of their own dreams and strength kind of drives their character dynamic… their friendly sparring wrecks islands ya know. i think their romantic tendencies kind of sync up in that way bc they’re all freaks of nature too though if you gave koby flowers he’d also tip over and blush to death. if you gave luffy flowers he may eat them.

luffy is at the absolute center of this polycule bc koby and zoro were approximately equally besotted within like the first hour of knowing luffy tho i think “dynamic of two guys who know fuck all” is deeply funny like left alone in a room together zoro could convince koby to have a few beers djdjdjjd… all three of them are doing unspeakable things with CoC also also. helmeppo is so fucking embarrassed he knows these people.

idk im rambling they’re really funny to me. pirate centric semi nonsexual throuple but koby is IN this relationship he’s IN this relationship okay

#op tag

[duodusk]

hello . ive just woken up and early . why? becoz wilbur says we're gonna drive to iowa. will where are- what are we doing? we're driving to Keokuk. Iowa. why? ??? why? two hours forty six minutes. why are we doing this?? youve not explained to us why we're doing th- I'VE never been to iowa it isnt real. i- as far as i know. i have no intention to ever go to iowa i mean what? are we gonna go to davenport? no. im not going to iowa. ever. exc- par- so i decided im gonna go right now so then i can say to myself "that's it! until the day i die i will never enter iowa."

ive never been to arbys! im so excited for arbys guys! me too! we're going to arbys! THE "MEAT MOUNTAIN". our main goal of iowa wait- the Main Goal of Iowa is arbys?? yes! why?? when you zoom in to keokuk iowa the first thing that pops up is a big word that says ARBYS cuz theres nothing else there because THEY'VE got the meat! they've got the meat! also uh me and ranboo discovered yesterday we got Insider Information that if you order- from someone that WORKED at arbys if you order something called a "Meat Mountain" you get a sandwich with- with every single type of meat on it. three types of cheeses and that INCLUDES chicken tenders and- And he himself said in the time he worked there only THREE people ever ordered it, and every time they did, the- all the waitstaff and all the chefs went :O and they pogged! and they POGGED and they just pogchamped! they POGCHAMPED! me and ranboo are going to split a "Meat Mountain" together and that is NOT what you think it means! what do we name this road trip? Race to "Meat Mountain" is Wheatskins editing this? is Wheatskins editing this? yea Wheatskins. Title Card: Race to "Meat Mountain". Go! [Race to "Meat Mountain" title card plays].

there is a stain on the back seat. ranboo's sat- I'm sitting in it! it stinks of cigarette smoke. the check engine light's on. yep. welcome! we have NO windshield wipers no windshield wipers! wait what?? im just gonna- im gonna use my body to clean the windscreen of its RAIN- drops oh its fine NOW... but theres no windshield wip-- if it rains we're fucked tho. the thing is we- so we went to hertz premium car rentals and they said "we have no cars!" and i was like well thats kind of the one thing ur supposed to have. and then we call up. what was it.. Visco Cheap Cars. Visco Budget Car Rental! oh jesus. and there's- OH MY LORD. so um ive got-- ... it is raining. it IS raining. oh... OH MY GO- wait. that's not. that's not their solution surely. that is. not the solution they made. Open the window. open 'er up! you're doing it, will! oh god. yeah that's- that's MUCH better thanks. i made it worse. "we went to iowa just to eat a sandwich" or you call it-- OR you call it Race to "Meat Mountain". Race to "Meat Mountain" is like a thousand times better. Race to "Meat Mountain". Wheatskins play the title sequence again [Race to "Meat Mountain" title card plays].

this bridge is made of copper. Minecraft! WOAH. wait its copper bridge? great job oxidizing! WOO WOOOOO YO IT OXIDIZED! I actually like that! its like. co- coc- oxidized- cock. cock. why- "it's like cock." I HAVE A STAMMER! bro I STRUGGLE. i think the hotel thinks im having a prostitute come round later why? what??? because i- s- right, so- just dont finish the statement. a- no, no i'm gonna explain- OHH MY GOD. gone fishin'! theres only two things i like in my life: my WIFE and fishin! (and one of 'em dont complain!) canonically your wife is a fish actually wilbur so really mjhhtghh there's a- there's a rest area! oh my god what can we get?? deli. oh! isnt that... isnt that meat? so deli is sandwich and meats i dont know if we should go- the- the prelude to- i need to save myself for the meat mountain! i'm a feeble boy! theres only so much meat i can handle! im hoping the meat mountain's gonna take my virginity.

now we'd been on the road for a good while at this point and, although we were saving ourselves for food, hunger had already began to set in. now, we're all adults! this should've been something we could've handled! but... TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST IT'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOOOOG!!! guyssss, calm down!! i GOT this. wait- there's gotta be a sonic. ive never been to sonic before and i want A Chilli dawg. WE NEED TO GOOOO I KNOW!!! subway! subway! subway! subway! subway! to the RIIIGHT!! NOOOOOW!!!!! they got a rizzo's!!!! just get hashbrowns! just get hashbrowns! theyve got a rizzo's! what the FUCK's a RIZZO'S??? WE DONT HAVE HASHBROWNS AT SUBWAY! WHY DONT YOU HAVE HASHBROWNS AT FUCKING SUBWAAAAAAAAAY??? to- are we- he's gone. where did wilbur go?? where did he GO? where's he going?? i think he- i think he's going to- wait, where'd he- i feel like we should go with him is he just actually going to subway ?? on a quest to find Wilbur Soot in a subway. why dont we just g- ahhh yknow what, im waiting for sonic! that's what im thinkin. should we just wait for sonic? we just let this guy get his subway? ill- i'll go to sonic, too. i got- i got tired of waiting for you so i just came here.

now that wilbur was fed, youd think we'd get on with our mission right? but you're WRONG. i'd spotted something in the distance that i'd never seen before: is that a walmart??? yeah! have you not been to walmart? NO?? we're going to walmart now! we're here. odds on i buy playdoh? for me. buy me some. five. three two one three. one. buy me some anyway sure thank you its for him- youre not old enough to buy your own yet. you might choke! oh they got magic- oh wait! a magic 8 ball!! we can ask it a question! what's your question jack? i dont- i- anything in the world. okay? literally anything where is she? on a remote island in the middle of bermuda. i love how baby yoda was such a hit they just was like... let's just.. let's just put him on everything hold on. I TOUCHED ITS SOFT SPOT! what the fuck did it just do? it like sl- spoke in a deep voice-- HIGH SCORE ELEVEN. Bop it. wait its a bop it! it's a bop it???? its a bop it??? what????? I told you that was a bad idea. he's scary. like im actually sc- that's a saw trap right there it sounds like s- Bop it to start. okay! Twist it. Pull it. you twist its head??? this thing is horrifying! im buyin this. i am buying this.

time for sonic! its sonic time. THE HEDGEHOG! THE FREAKIN HEDGEHOG! we're going! sonic time! this is such an odd sonic what the... my GOD! look at that! its like psychedelic! we're gonna trip out at sonic! ah, whatre you doing? why're you out there crazy? im gonna take a picture of you now. WE'RE ORDERING. what do you want jack? corn dog. that's it?? where are you going? im gonna go wild out for a bit. pff, whats that mean?? yea just the- the corn dog, a small fry, and a small dr pepper SNF SNF SNRK what the fuck is- what the fuck- what the fuck.. um, can i get chilli cheese fries and a large drink- hey baby, hehe and another jumbo- you look like you were really proud of that one, too hhh, hhhhhh t- tell 'em- hhhhfdjkfd hahah. and a large oreo shake shelby tell 'em thanks from me. tell 'em thanks!! i'll pay! i'll pay! I'll pay. I'LL PAY. that's it stop filming my card. i dont want Wheatskins knowing my fucking card. im lookin at you Wheatie. you know what, get it on the Manifold Business we vlogged this. yknow what, do it on the Manifold business account! do it on the Manifold business card! manifold legal is covering this- manifold legal is out of money. cum. uoohhhh ohh :( LICK THE SIDE! lick the side! LICK THE SIDE!! what do you MEAN lick the side?? lick it! LICK THE SIDE! do you see how much th- lick it while i film! LICK THE SIDE!!! LICK THE SIDE! slrrrp. im so sorry i ordered smalls for- that's 5up's, you can eat one of mine please dont eat mine sir please dont eat his fries siir theres not many left ! theyre really hot. whyre you eating em like that, king? slrrrp. i cant get it out. suck harder. i cant get it up! i need your help- you gotta give it that- that good-good gotta give it the sloppy top I'M known for my schlopery. will, film me eating a corn dog! this is my first ever corn dog ever. i've never had one! its really hot. all the way all the way all the way all the way all the way just in one go! all the way get to the stick! i couldnt go any further... its burning my mouth right now, its really hot. crunch crunch. crunch. to like- i have to process the moment like, i have food in my mouth everywhere! ive got worse in my mouth, king! ive had worse in my mouth. 2017. what does that mean?? the year or like. he had two thousand and seventeen things in his mouth. the stick touched my tonsils as i took the last bite. if you gag on the corndog you know she's not a baddie. im sorry to my audience for letting them down! no that's... that's misogynistic, i shouldn't. ✨i'd say all girls are baddies✨well done, will. pffh hahaahaha! if she gag on the corndog she not a baddie! she not a baddie. aint that right, ranboo? thats what im sayin!

now, we may have eaten, but for some reason the crazy hadnt worn off yet. guess you cant take me anywhere! (Wheatskins, you should add like the- the... "she so crazy" yknow with the fuckin chips on her- like the bag of fuckin chips on her head but just, just make it me, i think thatd be funny) I'm a crazy individual. I have deranged thoughts, some of which would land me in the slammer. mmmm hey, wh- Wheatskins, Wheatskins, just make that lean. Wheatskins, wocky slush, make it wocky slush, please. make it that wo- make it, make it that- purp drank. w- Wheatskins, ma- Wheatskins, make-- Why'd you say it with such urgency?? make it that- Wheatskins- you cut yourself off! "make it that-- wheatskins" Wheatskins, no, you gotta make this.. i've been unable to get my codeine fix the whole time ive been here, Wheatskins. you gotta film ranboo wildin' out. he's gonna st- he's gonna wild like i do. he's gonna wild- yeah. wild out, king. go quirky, go insane, th- ...he went right behind the fucking sign! RANBOO! we didnt see you, wild out now! we didnt see you before. you gotta wild out now. (he's wildin). oh yea, he's- he's buggin. no i dont want- i dont want your nug-nugs. no nuggies! no nuggies! roll- roll the windows up, kids! thats what that codeine'll do to you. it's my- my s-- my wocky slush. sonic was great! lets go to connetikuk. kowekuk! iowa! keokuk! keokuk! oiowa! anyone watching this video from keokuk iowa, take a picture of you at the- one of the places that we are at later in this video, and... hashtag MissionTo"MeatMountain" Road to "Meat Mountain" hashtag Road-- race- race to "Meat Mountain" hash- hashtag- what was the- ratio! hashtag RaceTo"MeatMountain" ratio! Hashtag RaceTo"MeatMountain" put that on twitter! put the title screen right now, like the intro guys- put uh- Wheatskins, play the title screen [Race to "Meat Mountain" title card plays].

shelby, how's driving been going? hands on the wheel, please. sorry can we have a ran- can we have a ranboo solo moment? ranboo, hold the camera, pointing at you hi guys :) how you doin? how you been? its been a while since we last spoke! Hey. Don't interrupt my solo moment. this is- this is all i have. hi guys, uhh welcome to the Race for "Meat Mountain" uh- play the- the title sequence [Race to "Meat Mountain" title card plays]. we're driving through, uh, Missouri Unincorporated Territory right now! uhhh, uh- we're about to hit frankfort, which is described by wikipedia as, frankford is an unincorporated place in Unincorporated Territory, Missouri. guys, lemme tell you something about this place. there's fuckall going on. im entertaining myself with the images of my mind. all i can picture is the cymbal monkey, yknow the monkeys that clap their cymbals? Keokuk! Keokuk! Keokuk! Keokuk! Keokuk! oooo, my mans just braked. on a road? what a- what a country! what an unincorporated territory! oh look at that peep! there's a peep! a what? there's a peep on the side of the road! what the fuck is a peep ??? shelby, your eyes are supposed to be on the road, youre staring at purple peeps in the field??? theres purple people?? there was a purple peep! like thanos? or maybe someone whose drank a little too much lean? I've Got Ya Now. don't worry viewers :) youre safe with me!

so far this has been a pretty straightforward journey! we made a couple of stops, but other than that, it was pretty much smooth sailing and having a few laughs! but then the First Disaster struck. auh, guys i need to tell you something. i really need the bathroom, but i'm- i'm gonna be honest, im genuinely a little bit frightened of going to the toilet around here. i think they're gonna smell that im an atheist out-of-towner? just go over and be like, "That Jesus Guy.." oowh, im g- i'm so scared its okay! its okay! you need to let it out! jack can you come in with me with the camera? i dont wanna be dr disrespect and film you while youre pooping, king. no, dont come in the bathroom dumbass oh. bye will! bye! we reassessed, and im not gonna go in and film even the ground, i will get shot. wait- ive got a fucking white button-up shirt that doesnt matter! it doesnt matter, it doesnt matter w-w-w-wait, wait- wilbur dont take your shirt off- He's dead. this guy's buggin! let's lock the car, let's keep the camera down, let's just film our balls. let's just film our balls! how ya doin? good! i'd shake yer hands but its cold. do ya- how ya been? do yall have a bathroom? hhhhhhh . get in, get in! FLOOR IT! you got funyuns!!!! i didnt know what to do so i bought funyuns! i tried to say, "have y'all got a toilet," like, "have y'all," i tried to throw a y'all in there, and i ended up goin, "Have Y'all- Have Y'all Got A Bathroom?"

Keokuk! Keokuk!!! Shelby said- Keokuk! Keokuk! Keokuk! YEAHHHH!!! I'm so excited. i'm genuinely- i cant believe im going to iowa i cant believe- me- me neither! i cant believe we are cause it doesnt exist! imagine if we get to keokuk and like- there's like a man at the road who's like, "When you leave, tell everyone Iowa exists." and we- "I see you recording," he'll say, and he'll say, "Right, here's some footage to splice in to your cam- video. Tell them Iowa's real," and then- but behind him is just black void. you have to like sign an NDA. i believe that, honestly. or they shoot you! or- or they- or they shoot you and then you 'died in a car accident.' WAIT look! jack!! wait, we're on the way! it's just white! it's- there it is! Keokuk! exit half a mile! we're bout to be there! is this the- wait. "the people of iowa welcome you!" "the people of iowa welcome you!" we fuckin made iiiiiiiit!!!! YEEESSS!!!! oh he's going, wow he just went for it. he's gone. ooh it smells like manure we're here! it stinks! it stinks here it smells of poo but we made it! we made it to iowa i'm in eye-oh-wuh! to arbys!!! Will. yeah? we're on the phone now. WOAH LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT THAT AAAAAA WE'RE IN KEOKUK YEAAAAA myyy camera died. Wheatskins add a, the camera died. bwah bum buh doowww wooomp. Wheatskins, play the- play the intro play the intro! [Race to "Meat Mountain" title card plays].

ARRRBYYY'S!!!! THERE IT IS!!! oh it's there!!! YEAA YESSSS this is, a fever dream. this is incredible. we did it! we did it. oh we did it! to the "Meat Mountain!" alright, this might be a crazy one, but i've heard of, like a rumor. is there an off-menu thing called the "Meat Mountain"? yeah, it's- we could still make it. for real?? yeah. okay! we'll get that! it's real! it's real! it's real! it's real. are you sure you can eat all that? probably not. aha i'll give it a go though! that's a lot of meat! i'm aware! hahaha. youre a little- a little one, too! hahaha!! f- fuck! hahahaha-- we're gonna give it a go! oh my lord, jesus. open it open it open it open it i'm opening it! i'm opening it! let's see this- ready? ohh ohhh my god my oh- hhahah, that's too much! wow that is a lot hey jack, how hungry are you, man? chicken, turkey, beef-- 👀

Initial impressions... weren't great! but what can you expect? a burger that tall could never look beautiful! and its not about the outside appearance!! it's the beauty within :) i was in it for the flavors, the meats melting on my tongue. i just wanted to feel my mouth full of meat, and i wanted to taste-- ...........maybe cut that part, i dont know-- take a bite, king. you got this! my god do they have the meats. they do have the meats. unhinge your jaw! ccrrrunch. Oh. oh, oh oh boy that's a good bite! that was a good bite. that's a solid bite! you got- you got the top to bottom! what is it like? oh! i heard a crunch... i could hear how dry that is. okay, he's still... i dont think i wanna take a bite anymore is it just a lot of flavors..? that should- it's a lot of flavors, not all of them i can analyze at once... crrunch. my god. it's impressive! you are good at that! ranboo. ranboo this is- ranboo. we cant film him taking a bite take a bite. you came here, this was yooour plan. this was never my plan. you told me about the "Meat Mountain" i told you about the "Meat Mountain".... good luck! you got this! crunch. that was a solid bite, king. that was a good bite. for those of you at home, Good Bite. that's ranboo jaws. now you know what my jaws can do. how does- how does it taste? give us- in, in one word- Meat. ..he just went in for a bite on his own choice, by the way, like that is just his own choice there. I was hungry. You gonna blame a man fer being hungry? Food's food! .... i have to have a bite. originally, me and ranboo were the ones taught the tale we came all this way you have to have a bite! im not even hungry! we ate, i had a subway! yeah, i dont know why- you dont have to be hungry for the "Meat Mountain" the "Meat Mountain" is hungry for you. oh i cant describe the smell, hold on.. crrunch. get it. my god that was impr- oh my god?? wow. king! thoughts, feelings, any? i hate the mix of temperatures. oh yeah yeah, no that's the thing- the ham is cold, the chicken is hot. yea that's what got me. this is the last bit that hasn't been bitten. crunch ... it tastes like a pastrami sandwich yeah- is this part not bitten? now the Final One. the final bite. this is it. one final bite! we're making the Pentagram of the Mighty Meats. the mcyt pentagram... in a "Meat Mountain".... crunch there's five bites of a "Meat Mountain" ...actually it's just like a little star now. i've been thinkin about it just now. sluuurrp.. why did we drive two and a half hours to iowa for this? wh- haha, why- yeah, wait, didnt we drive past an arbys? we passed three! we passed like several arbys. a good like thirty minutes in. ... Iowa baby! that's what im sayin! ay, Wheatskins, play the title card again! [Race to "Meat Mountain" end card plays].

#txt #..... #sorry for mental illness posting. it will happen again. #i dont know why i did this. #this video lives in my head i think this released the beast #meat mountain #i. . ok

[viv-weylin]

Thinking a bit about TMA recently. I dunno why. I kind of dislike jonmartin. I feel like my favorite parts of tma are the statements, they've always hit pretty decently to really hard, but jonmartin kind of... changed that? Suddenly the statements mattered less and less and less because of these two guys with little chemistry.

Jonmartin feels a bit hammed in. S5 had some of the best statements and a good atmosphere but if you don't care for jonmartin good fucking luck!

I love the world of tma (i am running a CoC campaign set in the TMA universe rn) and im so sad it stopped being explored after a while.

Also i hate how the fandom treats martin. Martin isnt a good person hes terrible and jon is sort of unbearable. I dislike the two seperately and put them together and suddenly... eugh.

Anyways. Those are my thoughts.

Average melanie king kinnie things /j

#jonmartin crit #jonmartin neg #tma crit #tma neg

[flokali]

im so happy you agree because luke IS a puppy with a big heart !! i could talk about him all day because he's just so ?? my second favorite is artem. i love the little detail of being able to pull his tie down lolol

i haven't played in forever so im hoping the new cards are looking sick as hell! be careful not to spend too much ok?

- (luke lover)

OMG, Luke Lover !! I’ve limited myself, huhuhu;; Had a spiritual awakening when I saw the expression on my sibling’s face when I told them about the sixty bucks… I never thought a 15 year old’s gaze of disappointment could be so cold (TT)

Yes, Luke is so… puppy-coded, baby boy waited 8 years and never forgot you and is willing to sacrifice his own happiness and well-being for you, he makes me sick (positive). I love, love Luke because his love for MC is so pure and he’s just such an interesting character! Like, the little glimpses we see into his past, those 8 years training away from you, when he goes “Raven” and loses the spark in his eye, especially when it’s because he does it protect you (TT);; The scene in the first event, “Lost Gold”, where he breaks the guy’s finger? And is like… “talk or else you lose the other nine”, that’s one of the first times we see “Raven”, and it’s like, wow… do that again. And seeing him progress… especially his latest Sweet Chapter story, my boy is going through IT on the Main Story (all of them are tbh) but I’m delusional so the MS doesn’t exist for me and Luke is healthy, happy, blessed, rich, famous, loved, and totally 100% fine mentally and physically (^_^)

And Artem (TT), Mr. Wing give me one chance I’ll blow your mind and coc— he’s just so!! Malewife-house-husband-breadwinner-hopeless-romantic-coded, I feel like… even if you’re not an Artem stan, you can appreciate him! And! And! And! His tie… please, whenever I go bother him it’s the first thing I do, his face when you pull it down, the little blush before he fixes it, the way he adjusts it… he’s just so !!! There’s just something about how he’s the oldest LI but he’s also the shyest, the one who pins and pins to the point those around him are begging him to do something already! Celestine really is his number one hype-woman;; she’s probably going to be the one to celebrate the wedding the most when you get married (TT) And the little things he does to be with you? The watching romance movies, reading books, noting down things he thinks you may like, the going out of his way to be with you/near you, the way his demeanor changes when you’re around… All of his cards and stories are so !!!

Ughhh, I may love Vyn to hell and back (mostly to hell) but if I were MC, I have to say, Artem or Luke would probably be my choices as lovers. Don’t get me wrong, Marius and Vyn are probably one of my favorite characters in media, period, but Artem and Luke are peak boyfriend - fuck, even just friend - material. I don’t think there’s ever been a franchise where I’ve rooted so deeply for a character to end up with the MC/Player as ToT with Luke or Artem (+_+)^^

#๋࣭. luke lover #๋࣭ offerings #don’t worry luke lover nonnie… before I press that silly pay button i’ll remember you </3 #i’ve been catching up on ToT after almost 4-ish months of not playing #currently finish chapter 9… we are in the trenches lads #in fact;; i’ve been really into the newest collab they did with the museum !! #i’ve got the vyn mr and i’m working towards getting marius >_> #i’m questioning if to try for luke and artem but i’m so temped but i don’t have enough s-chips (TT) #tears of themis… ily thank you h*yoverse for birthing these men i’ll forever be in your debt

[mdpikachu]

Surprise! Lancelot gets a foreigner class alt. What's the best/most interesting way fgo could spin the justification for his new class

I'm gonna need to think about this one! You've given me an ask that hits two hyperfixations at once- Lancelot existing and eldritch horrors.

The easy way out is Servant!Verse Lancelot, but I don't want to deal with Forgetful Father Spance (as i call him). We're not doing that. Boring. Bored!

Cut bc Idk how long this is gonna get but I'm gonna gun for "give lancelot an eldritch partner" angle. bc fuck it.

Eldritchs already taken by Foreigner servants- Yog-Sothoth (abigail), Cthulhu (Hokusai), Cthugha (Guifei), Hastur (Eulicid) (not fgo), BB-thotep does not count, Shub-N (Molay), Vultoom and possibly some Colour out of Space (Van Gogh).

Giving Lancelot Nyarlathotep is far too easy. The guy known for disguising himself and the 1000 masks/faces. But Nyar is too... Playful? Fuck around and find out. His personality wouldn't fit Lancelot in any way. Nyar also doesn't need a vessel to manifest. He can do it his damn self. It's in the job description.

Azathoth I think is funnier to give to Holmes so I'm not doing that. It also doesn't fit in any way shape or forme.

Yog is always an option. they don't match or fit but yog is my buddy i know him personally (joke)

Anything associated with water is out, not because of Lancelot himself but his mom. Lady Vivian breaks the door down and murders an eldritch creature in her gottdamn domain. Except Cthaat. He can stay. Honk.

What'd work best is like... Darkness and obscuring and im just describing Nyar again. fuck.

The Darkness (actual name) doesn't have enough info to use, so FGO could go wild with that one. Spread Darkness. Quash Light. etc etc I'm already bored. but Lancelot wouldn't LIKE that either. See:

The Blackness from the Stars (also actual name) is similar and I often conflate the two intentionally, but this one isn't from HPL... wait neither are hastur and cthugha point cancelled. "Those with histories of mental instability are most susceptible and therefore often targeted." Sir Lancelot "goes mad in the woods" du "berserk raged through a whole castle" Lac works perfectly here.

Additional notes: The Blackness from the Stars is an extraterrestrial entity in the Cthulhu Mythos. Its only appearance is in Chaosium's supplement King of Chicago for their Call of Cthulhu RPG. (source)

It doesn't speak, it refuses TO speak, it can't take physical damage so Lancelot can't gun it down, it's only weak to literal light. Catch him using a night light. actually he does that anyway but this isn't about that.

I can't actually find a rulebook for CoC, which is weird bc I swear I had one saved somewhere.

TLDR: Sir Lancelot (berserker. obviously) but overtaken by the Blackness from the Stars (and/or Darkness, if u like merging things for simplicity)

#tungl remmbr my tags any% #lancelot du lac #fate #eldritch #mddttxt

[inkyvendingmachine]

Im the classpect anon! Yes absolutely ramble on about CoC classpects (joey just reeks of Page of Hope to me)

Yesss YEEESSS OKAY SO

I can see where you're coming from with Page of Hope, but for Joey I think ultimately he'd be a Witch of Void. So much of his actual motivations and desires just resolve around creation; creation of stories and characters, creation animations and films, creation of a good life for him to live with his friends. And his lack of believing in limits is what really captures Void over Space I believe.

Henry would be a Knight of Blood. For his family, for his friends, he will stop at no ends to protect them, even using himself as the sacrifice if need be. (and in the case of actual heckin game, literally uses his blood as a weapon.) His bonds make him stronger, and he uses every ounce of that strength to give back to those same people who gave him power in the first place, a perfect loop.

For Jack, Sylph of Life. Jack has really taken up the position of Ultimate Healer in the group, in healing itself, but also in like... emotional healing, and helping people who really never thought they could live normal lives do such a thing. He's made food, comfort, a home, and doesn't stop making these things in abundance for those around him.

I gave Sammy and Prophet two different classes, but they share an aspect: Sammy is the Mage of Doom, and Prophet is the Seer of Doom. Not only is both of these being in the 'prophet' classes funny, but I think works very well based on their actions. So much of what Sammy does is based on survival instincts, but he's also one to actually accept losses when they happen and learn from them. More than others around him, he accepts that he might not actually be good at most things, and focuses better on what he can be good at, basically using his own doom as a power source to grow stronger. Meanwhile, Prophet is very obsessed with the doom of others in sacrifice for himself, deciding that he will not fail where others surely will. And he literally gets visions of doom that he uses to help prevent it so. Yeah.

Susie is a Maid of Breath; unable to be held down or back. She does what she wishes and goes where she pleases, and her strength comes from doing just that, being her own person and building upon everything she's worked for up until this point.

Peter is a Rogue of Light; You might think Mind would be more fitting for Peter, but he's more about the truth and the information itself, and the thinking things through comes as an effect of that. He's also very much an unstoppable force when it comes to gathering those truths, immediately turning to using his ghost powers to continue his work once he got them. And of course, he uses those to benefit those around him, whether it's the general public or just his friends.

I feel like Bendy the Lurker would fit in better as a like, sprite, but for funsies, treats him like a cherub and gives him Lord of Space. Not much thought has been put into this beyond being able to transform himself, since again, I think he'd work better as a sprite like companion, but y'know. Love this lil guy.

I could probably nitpick out more of the smaller characters, but we haven't spent as much time with them as these. (Well, we've spent a lot of time with Norman but half the time we do he's hiding or unable to speak so) Maybe after session 4 I will have more thoughts, but for now, here are the main characters.

( I tend to use this classpect analysis as a lot of the base of my thonks bc I really love how it's worked out.)

#call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #joey drew #sammy lawrence #jack fain #henry stein #the prophet #bendy the lurker #susie campbell #peter sunstram #homestuck i guess #have your pitch fee check ready

[brendughh]

COC DAY 2: AU!

It's my first fic! Here's a milkshake scene au from Heartstopper I did at 2 am, hope you enjoy. I also posted it on a03

For @ic3-que3n and @erzbethluna, your tags are not in vain

"Oh my god, no, that is a crime." Simon misses the snarky comments Baz used to make about his everything that he was almost caught by him in surprise. Almost.

"I can't believe you've just disrespected Unicorn Frappuccino infront of me." I thought you are fond of rainbows, Simon decides not to add.

"Unicorns don't taste like that, Snow." It tastes like lavender, actually. Baz knows this.

"All right let me try yours" Simon reaches for the cup that says 'Pumpkin Mocha Breave' and takes a sip. "wow. "

"See, I make good choices." Baz says, and the barista, (he likes to refer to himself as one) Levi, winks at him.

"We should share!"

"No Snow, you made your choice."

"But we are on a date. This this is what people do on dates, I think. Or maybe. Yeah I could just stick with my-"

Baz is proud at Simon for speaking his mind, but honestly, who does he think Baz is to say no to his gorgeous face? "It's alright, it's what people do."

And, with a little more confidence– " We should go on a real date you know, just us. If you want to."

"I'd love too, Baz."

"Im not interrupting anything, am I?" Agatha chimes in, popping their rose colored bubble.

Agatha. She doesn't know anything about Simon and Baz. Simon knows she likes Baz. Baz knows he really don't. Like. Agatha.

"No Aggs, uhm, me and Baz, we're just talking about-" he raise his hands to his chest, providing some life to his lie "milkshakes. Whose taste better."

"Hmm. If that is what I think it is, " she points at Baz's cup, "then Baz, you have my vote."

"Thank you, Wellbelove."

—

Penelope, Simon, Baz, and that girl in boycut all sit around their table waiting for Agatha and the rest of the milkshakes . Simon and Baz are side by side, facing Niamh and Agatha. Penelope wonders when did the two become friends. She and Agatha used to sit beside each other after all.

"So, Niamh, I didn't know you and Agatha are close friends."

"We are not," Niamh immediately regrets what she said adding "I mean, she asked me to be her train mate for lacrosse and I said yes." They were supposed to share the thing with them together.

The two boys are hoping for the exact same thing too. What is taking you so long, Agatha?

"I guess lacrosse has it’s way bringing people together. Just look at those two." Penelope gives a look at the boys. "They were literal enemies, and now I think Baz has replaced my title as Simon's best friend."

Best friend , Simon is turning red all while Baz's cough sabotages his own smile.

Thank Merlin, Agatha is finally here.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, babe. Penelope was talking about how good friends Simon and Baz are being these days. I think Penelope is jealous."

" I am not." says Penelope at the same time Baz said "Babe?"

Subtlety is not Niamh best suit.

"We actually invited you to tell something." Agatha carefully look at each person's eyes landing on Niamh the last. She is scared.

" I'm so sorry Baz, I know that it seems that I was attracted to you, but I don't want to give you false hope." Baz isn't sure if his snort is only audible to his head, or is also seen by everyone at the table.

"When Simon and I broke up, I thought you were the solution. I joined lacrosse to get close to you, then I met Niamh and I realized that you are not the solution neither Simon is the problem. I've been trying to solve something that is not made for me.

"Me and Niamh are dating. I am sorry if this hurts you Baz, but I am not sorry for who I like."

That is it. Agatha's petty face is the last straw. He is laughing, crying, and screaming, Simon- all of them- never heard Baz like this. He is manic.

"I'm sorry, do you find it funny that I like girls?"

Penny can see all the emotions passing through Aggie's face, she decides to call Baz out "Stop laughing Baz, nothing is wrong with being gay."

And then Simon is at it too. All the laughing is turning him into a tomato.

"You know what, I actually think this would go okay. You're a bunch of dicks." Standing up, Niamh goes to comfort her girlfriend. She thought that this would go okay too. Maybe she is wrong about Baz.

"Wait, Aggs, WAIT!" Suspending his laugh is not that hard for Simon when something special is at stake. They will all make a core memory of this.

"Wearenothomophobic"

"Simon, let me"

"But I want to be the one to tell them too!"

"Wellbel– Agatha. I don't find it funny that you like girls. It's just ridiculous that you think I would be hurt from that. I dont like you that way, I like guys. Me and Simon—

"Meandbazaretogetherandheisgay"

"I am gay. Simon and I are dating since last year, fifth grade." Baz let Simon join their hands together, completely smitten, he kisses it.

"I still don't know what I am but I really like Baz."

"I have something important to share with you guys too" they all face Penelope.

"I am straight."

They only stop laughing at each other when the ice in their drinks are melted.

#coc 2022 #mine #carry on #carry on countdown #fic #fanfic #snowbaz #snowbaz fanfiction #wayward son #awtwb #heartstopper

[aesrot]

sorry for sending you so many things but I'm in a talkative mood rn. Anyway have you heard of all tomorrows (I think thats what its called) its a sci fi horror thing about the "future" of humanity and "humans" after this eldritch race of Gods(?) came and mingled with humans.

It's probably one of the most disturbing things ive ever seen and I was unable to get through an entire video talking about it because it was so disturbing

please do not apologise, im having a fucking blast!!! and im afraid my sci-fi background is uhh very poor, so nope, havent read it (but adding to the list!!); but oh m y god, this can go in so many ways, love love love this, it reminds me a lot of coc actually.

theres this one brazilian podcast in which the guys played coc (i cannot stop talking abt them asjfhfsa so fucking sad its in portuguese, bc i want to make everyone listen to it), and the people involved w the cult of cthulhu were trying to create the 'perfect race' (it was set in the eve of the WWII, they were nazis, so that fits the whole thing) and were messing and combining humans with other eldritch creatures, and the descriptions were mmmm so good (the dm is a writer who really enjoys eschatology, so you can imagine how that went)

#lua answers #phantom my beloved

[prynnehesters]

i kind of hate it when ppl shit on 5e just for the sake of it but also i don't like how dnd and especially dnd 5e has saturated the ttrpg market

i would probably say the top systems for ttrpgs are almost all dnd adjacent (and yes, i count pathfinder. pathfinder is basically dnd 3.75). like when ur buddies are going to sit you down and play a ttrpg, 90% of the time it'll be dnd. like the top systems people start with are some form of dnd, be it becmi, adnd, 3.5, etc. looking at roll20 apparently like 70% of people are playing 5e and then an extra 5% is playing pathfinder or an earlier version of dnd. i do like 5e. it's simple yet customizable but like, it makes sense what you get early on bcuz you basically just became an adventurer. you might've honed your craft for a few years or gotten powers not too recently depending, but like, it makes sense of what you can do. like lvl 1 wizard is guy who has wizard community college degree, lvl 20 wizard is a demigod.

but like, dnd is good but a lot of ppl who play it kind of suck and wotc sucks

but like, im kind of surprised of the saturation bcuz i would say most ttrpg podcasts are dnd. i think the second most common system is PBtA that i've seen and sometimes, having dnd as a system doesn't make sense bcuz they tweak the rules so much.

i think the next most popular system is CoC, then probably PBtA systems, then I think World of Darkness, then a Star Wars system (either d20 or the EoE/AoR/etc), and then everything else. I think GURPS has too much freedom for a lot of people. I'm kind of surprised things like Numenera, Shadowrun, Fate, or anything that uses cards instead of dice (be it playing cards or tarot cards). I think small things like Fiasco and DREAD are cool bcuz they use different systems and are fun. But it's so nutso to me that dnd has saturated the ttrpg market so much omg lmao

[synttx]

ngl im getting pretty tired of people talking about how you should play rpgs besides dnd and then recommending like. pathfinder shadowdark DCC (a game i actually like) etc because like.

those Are d&d.

when I'm asking my cyberpunk group if they want to play DCC or LotFP or B/X for a session or two I don't say "do you guys want to play DCC?" I say "do you want to play DnD."

WFRP is probably the only fantasy role playing game I can think of that is different enough from dnd that I wouldn't just call it dnd. you aren't actually expanding the styles of play accessible to your group or trying something new, they're just tweaked versions of the same central idea. (there are probably others, like maybe runequest, but I haven't played or read it so I can't speak on its similarity or difference)

blades in the dark also comes up in these conversations a lot, and while I've never played it and it looks a bit too storygame-y for me, it indicates people looking in the right direction of trying something new at least a little bit. It's just fascinating to me how rarely scifi, cyberpunk, or horror (besides CoC) games come up in these conversations, and I really wonder why they're so unpopular (although catalyst flubbing the most recent shadowrun edition and V5 being a mess for white wolf certainly didn't help).

#rpgs

[slut4hwa]

touch me now - hongjoong

━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

pairings: kim hongjoong & fem reader

genre: smut, fluff.

word count: 967 words

warnings: dom! hongjoong, sub! reader, squirting, degradation, choking, dirty talk,  swearing, sex lol, hair grabbing/pulling (?) hongjoong is a bit rough but the reader loves it ( i probs forgot stuff but im rlly tired so :P hope u guys enjoy this!!)

please reblog my work!! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

all fics i write do not represent the members in any way. this is pure fiction.

it wasn’t on purpose of course. the topic was already there so it kind of just slipped out.

“yeah i’ve always wanted to know how squirting feels-” you blurted it out. fuck.

the sadistic smirk that appeared on his face told you everything he was thinking.

“oh yeah?”

---------

so here he was, holding your chin with his slim hand as you looked up into his lustful eyes. the way his eyes bore into yours made you so weak, you started tp squirm but he held you under him, his hands now gripping your face.

just as you were about to say something his lips latched on to yours making you let out a soft whimper. 

his hands made their way to your shirt, ripping it and throwing it across the room while his other hand unclasped your bra.

hongjoong broke the kiss to stare you down, looking at you hungrily.

“you said you wanted to squirt? oh don’t you worry darling i’ll make sure you do by the time im finished with you. gonna make you squirt so much! he whispered as he bit your earlobe. you let out a surprised gasp.

“joong p-please fuck me already” you mewled, not caring if you sound desperate at this point. all you needed was his touch, his kiss, his hard coc-

“whatever you wish for y/n” he smirked.

while you were lost in your horny thoughts, he didn’t just rid himself of everything but you were now also butt naked too. you tried to shy away from him but he held you down, admiring every inch of your body.

“so fucking pretty baby. and it’s all for me. you’re mine” he growled.

“mhgnm- all yours sir, all yours.” you said, keeping direct eye contact which you knew for a fact drove him crazy. 

he groaned watching as you played around with your nipple, still looking at him.

suddenly he slipped into you, immediately setting a fast pace.

“look at your dripping cunt slut, so so wet all for me. i bet you fantasize about me making you squirt with my big cock everyday. such a needy whore” he scoffed.

you couldn’t help but shamelessly moan as you gripped on to his shoulders, head thrown back. he moaned out at the sight of your already fucked out state, his hips slightly stuttering as he watched you. 

“s-so you’re gonna make m-me fffuuck- squirt or not?” you grinned, trying to sound as confident as you can but the way cock was slamming into you made it hard to think. 

“mhm be patient slut or i won’t make you cum at all” his hand grabbed your neck, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss.

his hips sped up, pounding into you relentlessly as he threw his head back, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth hung open while he let out a series of loud whines and whimpers. you absolutely loved how vocal he was, not afraid tolet out his moans which he knew turned you on. 

you cried out when he used his thumb to rub fast circles on your clit. 

“shiit joong baby so-somethings coming - fuck don’t stop” you let out a loud sob, the intense feeling in your stomach getting closer and closer.

hongjoong moaned out loudly, feeling his cum spill into you as he watched with his mouth agape.

he quickly pulled out coming down from his high and laid down in between your legs. he looked so hot. hair sticking to his forehead and his body glistening with sweat. he smirked at you biting your lip and his long finger was back on your clit in a second.

he rubbed it furiously, desperately wanting to make you cum. you let out a loud moan the feeling quickly building up again and before you could say anything, you felt the tie in your stomach snap as the juices squirted out right onto his hand and chest. 

his eyes widened as he watched how your entire body shook and your hands gripping the sheets desperately. 

“holy shit” he breathed out.

the pure bliss on your face made him proud. proud that he was the one that made you feel this good. no one else.

you on the other hand have never felt something as good as this. it was so much more intense then your orgasms before.

as you calmed down his mouth was still wide open, licking his lips at the sight in front of him. he moved up to lick a long stripe up your glistening folds, humming into your core.

you threw your head back, grabbing his hair to pull him away but he just chuckled and sucked on your clit.

“fuck joong- oh my god” you whimpered.

hongjoong kept licking circles on your clit and harshly sucking on the bud, while your mouth was hung open in a silent scream, not even being able to process anything from the overstimulation.

before you could even process anything your legs shook around his head as you squirted again, his face and tongue now glowing with your juices. 

finally he pulled back chuckling at your fucked out state. you were deep deep in subspace, not being able to think straight so you just kept letting out quiet mewls and mumbling incoherent words.

he stood up quickly changing the sheets before laying next to you with a concerned face.

“baby you with me?” he cooed, smiling softly when ne saw you nod. you finally came back to the real world and pulled him into your chest. 

“that felt so good hongjoong, thank you” you smiled staring into his eyes.

“anytime my love, plus that was extremely hot” he grinned.

you laughed, pulling him closer if that was even possible, snuggling together as you felt yourself drift off to sleep.

•·················•·················•

note: i didn’t proof read this so if u see any mistakes ignore pls!

do not copy, steal, translate, plagiarise and post my works on here or any other platform! they all belong to me /@slut4hwa/

#ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez x female reader #ateez scenarios #ateez hongjoong #ateez imagines #ateez x y/n #hongjoong smut #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong #mingi smut #yeosang smut #seonghwa smut #jongho smut #yunho smut #san smut #wooyoung smut #ateez masterlist #ateez yeosang #kim hongjoong #ateez fluff #atz smut #atz fic #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #dom hongjoong #sub reader #dom ateez

[ppersonna]

tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother.  He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin.  angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are.  i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia​ so i blame her.  as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes.  fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao  🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy!  feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you! 

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word.  Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no.  He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon.   Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second.  Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since.  Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line.  Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin.   He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.  

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter.  Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension.  All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.  

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever.  Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime.  You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most.  You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch.  Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows.  It takes a moment to gather your surroundings.  You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there.  As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time.  5:34 pm.  Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix.  How had you fallen asleep for five hours?  How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it.   You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles.  Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung.  Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest.  “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each.  Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.”  He pushes past you and into the living room.  

Your mouth gapes open.  Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this.  Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure.  “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff.  “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam?  What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado.  “Obviously not anymore.  We broke up, she kept the apartment.  Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps?  You clear your throat.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen.  “No, you’re not.”  

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother.  He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat.  The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn.  Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone.  You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon.  It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever.  What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping.  God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on.  I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone.  “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night.  It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple.  Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom.  The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room.  You’re not getting out of this.  I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.  

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon.  Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed.  “I agree to your terms.  Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time.  6:40.  God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready.  There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already?  We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table.  He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement.  “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower.  That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds.  We’ll be waiting awhile.”  

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants.  You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage.  Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.”  Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face.  “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face.  Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”  

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening.  You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth.  Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone.  And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin.  You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas.  He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.  

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.”  Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory.  Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other.  Feels like old times.  Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room.  The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life.  Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv.  Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.  

Why did he do it?  You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning.  Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off.  He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”  

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing.  Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.  

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now.  Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again.  While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow.  You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep.  If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved.  But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems.  You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught.  You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable.  You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day.  Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol.  Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.  A nightcap. Of course.  You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.  

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound.  Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house.  You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate.  It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge.  You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house.  You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.  

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile.  Liquid sleep.  And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder.  Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired.  “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls.  The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.  

“Fucking help me!  You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything.  You did that on your own.”  Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent.  He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?”  You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him.  It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you.  “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there.  You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush.  He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks.  “We talked about that.  Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.  

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own.  He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.  

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.”  His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.  

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle.  “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan.  “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”  

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth.  He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more.  His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple.  “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs.  You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused.  His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure.  He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath.  “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free.  Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.  

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.”  He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts.  You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”  

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime.  You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.”  Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut.  Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.”  His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.  

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat.  You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his.  Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life.  You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet.  My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you.  Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!”  You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.  

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.”  He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you.  He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix.  This is surely what heaven feels like.  It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity.  He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung!  You!  Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks.  He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.  

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises.  “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”  

“Yeah baby, cum for me.  Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down.  Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry.  You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words.  You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please.  Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.”  You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash.  He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY!  Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

#bangtanarmynet #maknaesmutsociety #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bts v #bts fic #bts smut #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #v

[inkdemonapologist]

So internet friend Thren recently got into Bendy and offered to run a BatIM-themed TTRPG for me and a couple friends and uHHHHHH YES PLEASE???? She’s altering an existing Call of Cthulu scenario and has been going all out with handouts and audio logs and iTS A GREAT TIME. I’m still not over how galaxy brain CoC is as a system for batim characters, like, normal people in over their heads investigating supernatural things they shouldn’t mess with that might corrupt their minds??? PERFECT 

Anyway obviously I’m playing a version of Sammy Lawrence, this takes place in 1930 so he’d be slightly less of a mess normally, but we all started the game by waking up in Haiti with no memory of how we got there so things are going great so far!!!! (is it Joey’s fault? PROBABLY)

I used to jot down quotes when I played D&D in college so uhhhhh aPPARENTLY IM STILL DOING THAT, have some of those under the cut!!

[GM is Thren, Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo and Henry is played by our friend Maf.... just marks everyone with the character they’re playing b/c I think attributing ooc comments to the characters is funny]

[adjusting the original pre-gen character sheet] I'm not sure Sammy's [spiritual willpower] stat should be so high. Like..... I think Sammy is sensitive to that kind of thing, but in the sense that a canary is sensitive.

[Sammy] Well I guess I’ll take a gun then, [Joey] WHY ARE YOU TAKING A GUN??? [Sammy] I DON’T KNOW!! [GM] It was in the bag! [Sammy] It was in a bag, of our stuff! [Henry] I’m taking a gun. [Joey] Wait -- are we still in the hospital? [Henry] okay I’ll wait until we’re out of the hospital to take a gun [Sammy] I mean, they already gave this to us, as our stuff. They know that there are guns here. [Joey] Maybe it’s a trap! [Sammy] Okay, alright, [GM] The guards do look kind of uneasy if you guys start getting too interested in the guns, but they are yours, so— [Sammy] IM NOT INTERESTED IN THEM, I’m just looking at it going, okay there’s three guns, there’s three of us, probably these were ours, [Joey] Why would we have guns??? [Sammy] That’s a great question wHY WOULD WE BE IN HAITI?!? [Henry] okay, lets all calm down, and figure this out,

[Sammy] Who’s shotgun? Or are we all crammed in the back. Who’s middle sea— it’s probably me. [Joey] It’s you. [Sammy] It is me. Okay. That’s what I thought.

[Henry] I'm just looking around to see if there's anything out of place! [GM] Make a Spot(Hidden) Roll! [Sammy] Sammy is, uh, yelling? Um, I don't know what specifically, but a lot of THIS IS YOUR FAULT, I KNEW IT, IT'S YOUR FAULT WE'RE HERE, IT'S YOUR FAULT WE'RE IN THIS MESS-- [Henry] okay, my spot-- [Joey] Joey is yelling back, that it's TOM's fault, because Tom's clearly the one who's disappeared, and he was involved in this somehow, I just know it--! [Henry, typing b/c we won't shut up] (My Spot (Hidden) is 70 and I rolled a 30) [GM] Okay, let me-- [Sammy] HE'S NOT MENTIONED IN HERE, WHY WAS HE EVEN WITH US??? WHY DID YOU BRING HIM? [we finally hush as Henry finds an incriminating GENT invoice] [Henry] Okay, well, yes, I'm going to show this to everyone, and now- [Joey] Joey instantly takes it and uses it in his argument against Sammy. [Henry] HENRY TAKES IT BACK; okay, you guys need to calm down, I found something weird.

[Sammy] Sammy is pretty freaked out and does not eat a lot of his food, but it’s alright. [Henry] I don’t know why my brain immediately decided that that’s okay because Henry will finish it? I have no basis for this headcanon? But it is what has been presented to me. [Sammy] Henry can have it. [Henry] I mean if you don’t want it? We paid for it! Like, yes, there’s all sorts of creepy shit happening, but— ...you know maybe he stress-eats. [Sammy] That explains a lot about the bacon soup, to be honest with you... [Henry] IT DOES. Okay. NEW HEADCANON: Henry stress-eats.

[Henry] Oh, my cthulu mythos skill is really low, hmmm... [Sammy] MINE IS ZERO so I’m not going to make the roll! [Henry] I’m going to say since it’s such a low chance, I’m going to have Henry just kinda shrug and say, yeah no I still don’t know what that is. [Joey] Well I got a nine! Which actually is under my mythos! [Sammy] Oh My Gosh [Henry] Okay, full disclosure, I was kind of hoping you would go crazy. [Sammy] I can’t believe Sammy’s the only one who’s going to come out of this sane, becAUSE HES NOT STICKING HIS FINGER IN THE WEIRD GOO! [GM, encouragingly] Naw, there’s time!

#sammy lawrence #Bendy and the Ink Machine #when in doubt just keep drawing #more distractions #call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #(p.s. if youve played this scenario no spoilers pls!!) #IM LIVING