#got mad at me on Father's Day

[blvck-coffee-dad]

So. I turned 45 today. Did nothing special. Got nothing special. Expected nothing special. Felt kinda dumb whenever folks asked me what I was doing for my birthday and I was just like "went to work, studies, ran some errands."

I simply can't get excited for attention or praise or being celebrated. Please don't get me wrong--I'm grateful. My daughter sent me a very sweet text this morning, as did a few friends. Birthday greetings galore came through on social media. (Including here!)

I dunno. I wish my life's path hadn't slowly drained me of wanting to be celebrated. But here we are.

#one time #the girl I was dating at the time #got mad at me on Father's Day #because I forgot it was Father's Day #and I didn't want her to do anything for me

[mumblesplash]

do you ever end up accidentally getting super attached to a trope so specific and rare you don't even know how to look for it? 'space aliens failing to understand that a human showing teeth usually isn't a threat display' isn't even an ao3 tag. finding that shit in published fiction or tv shows is next to impossible

#<- guy who searches ao3 by the 'misunderstandings' tag without even specifying a fandom #mumbling #if you've been following me for a while you may remember my introduction to mcyt was when i started scraping the bottom of the barrel #looking for 'humans are space orcs' stories #but what you may not know is that was already a ways down a rabbit hole that began with *avatar the last airbender* #it basically went #'holy shit salvage is a good story' -> read every existing version of hakoda being a good dad to zuko -> #'shinsou hitoshi getting adopted by aizawa has the same vibes fuck it i'll read that too' -> 'why are they aliens in so many of these' -> #get addicted to the 'humans are space orcs' trope -> find a whole collection of fics about that exact thing -> #for some reason the collection is 80% dsmp fics -> i am not picky -> 'oh no they've got a crow-coded father figure' -> #still not rly interested in the dsmp source material -> minecraft kinda interesting tho -> wait what's hermitcraft -> and now here we are #all bc 3 years ago i wanted zuko to have a decent father figure #firelord ozai made me draw pinup art of goodtimeswithscar: the true and harrowing tale of my descent into madness #flameo hotguy or whatever the kids are saying these days

[handsomegentlebutch]

My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.

#butch speaks #it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head #when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god #the words came naturally to me #but they meant nothing #i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away #i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred #i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake #i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex #fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic #i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun #the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun. #not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO #the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love. #he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like #he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever. #he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer #then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there. #he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did. #but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there. #that wasnt for us. #my family wasnt even THAT catholic #i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group #i was an altar servant and in the choir #i even used to speak/understand a little latin #imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao #grateful to have grown up poor in that regard #hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually. #fucking hell. #i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.

[babbeldumpsterfire]

Reminds me of when I was 13 and my mom’s old car got a Laura Pausini cd stuck in its cd player for months: whenever she wanted to listen to some music, that was the only option available. It was also my prized possession, the only authentic cd that I had of that singer: needless to say, I was very jealous and wanted to keep track of it, so everyone got to suffer through the best hits of Laura Pausini anytime we drove for more than 10 minutes anywhere. In the end everyone got sick of Laura belting ‘ho l’inquietudiiinee di viveeereee’ and I don’t know how but my father unstuck the cd one fateful evening, and returned to me a very broken cd lmao

#never got another cd as a substitution either #my father burned another cd with the same songs and that was it #I'm still kind of mad about it #but to this day anyone in my family still despises those songs except for me #the cd player also got irremediately damaged #so Laura definitely didn't go down without a fight #(putting all this in another post because I realized neil was tagged and I didn't want to hog the og post with my dumbass story lmao) #babbelbabbles #good omens #queens #stuck cds seem to be a curse of the past #I'm glad we have usbs now

[greaserink]

Tmi but having your workplace send you home for crying too much is such a humiliating feeling somebody take me out back

#my father figure has been in the hospital the past few days and today was my breaking point apparently #tom speaks #somebody put me out of my misery this is humiliating #vent #my boss was pissed with me today #told my store manager first about my situation about bereavement leave #and my meat cutter boss got mad at me for not telling him first #EVEN THOUGH HE LITERALLY WAS THE VERY NEXT SOUL I TOLD #didn't go to anyone else didn't take any breaks #and then he gives me a talk about howni need to tell him about these things even thOUGH I JUST DID #WHAT #and when i ran to the back of the store breaking down his first words to me were to not let that happen again because #he didn't want his boss getting angry at him for it #oh #my god #who does that #this happens with any little thing

[leafdlc]

no longer busy with the horrors (putting together a piece of furniture)

#i hav more seating in my house now. instead of it being empty and then Gamer Area #fucking..took a full day to complete cauz the instructions were a bit shit #ihad to take lots of breaks since i got mad..like owah my fathers inherited anger issues are jumping outof me! #leaf talking

[truckstoptigers]

when i was seven and our trailer burned down, i thought about leaving my father there, grabbing my brother, and getting us the hell out

i didn't. i ended up waking our father and we all ended up at the neighbors' house

but i should have

i fucking should have

because the minute he had a chance to be alone with me (after we got to my grandma's trailer) guess what he did! shortly after our fucking HOME burned down and the firefighters gave my brother and i teddy bears and wrapped blankets around us for shock!!!!!! fucking christ i hate our father more than anyone on this earth

#haha :) feeling normal abt this! #all i cared about was my brother being safe. thats all. i still remember holding his hand and walking him to the neighbours house #i couldnt see because i left my glasses in the trailer. they put on the little mermaid cartoon for us. i even remember what episode it was #but i genuinely considered leaving my father there and honestly that scares me #honestly i was afraid to wake him up bc i didnt want him to get mad at me. if he got mad at me i would always suffer for it later #milo murmurs #fun fact we lived w someone & his son and his son ended up becoming my cousin when his mom married my uncle #i am so so glad neither or them were home that night #he was so young. im several years older than him & he was so little that he doesnt even remember we lived together #csa vent #tw csa vent #csa tw #also feeling fucked up abt the fact that my father wld put his cigarettes out on me when he was pissed #sometimes i wonder if the fire started because he was smoking smth and passed out while doing it but my brother slept in his room #i feel like they wouldve been much more worse off if the fire started in their room #anyway im pretty sure that the fire was set intentionally bc he had some ties to the wrong ppl #and either they didnt know me & my brother were also there and were only going after our father or they didnt care we were there #to this day even bonfires make me nervous if i can only smell them & cant see them. i hate smelling smth burning & panicking #we live in the country now so its very common for ppl to burn leaves and wood and what have you. its still scary sometimes #i think abt this a lot actually bc any fire still makes me lowkey nervous. less so if i know where/what its coming from but still nervous

[nexus-nebulae]

i always used to watch yt videos of games i wanted to play bc i knew i didn't have the money then and didn't have anything to play games on but now that i have a good computer and some more financial independence. i could start playing all the games that my amnesia has erased

#i could play Amnesia! lmao #its almost like playing the game blind again #i've just been watching a lot of videos about games i'd forgotten about from when i was like 12 #like all those old horror games that jacksepticeye would play #somehow i Still remember the exact video that made me start getting into youtube #jack's curse of blackwater videos #specifically the first one #because at the time my only experience with youtube was watching nothing but various cat compilation videos #but then i watched this creepy game video #and the little ghost girl scared me so bad i stopped watching and was like NOT WATCHING ANY MORE OF THAT #but then i couldnt stop thinking about it for three days so eventually i watched The Last Four Minutes #and then the rest of the game stopped doing ghosts and moved to like. aliens. or at least a physical monster #and it just stopped scaring me #it went from scary dark unfamiliar asylum with a probable ghost and body parts everywhere #to cold unfeeling steel facility #i just Stopped being scared after that physical monsters scare me much less #ghosts. now that's a threat you can't track #that one doesn't make noise to let you know it's coming #anyway i wanna play imscared i remember being obsessed with that one when i was watching those videos #i wanna remember the other like. random horror games i got obsessed with #ib and mad father and the crooked man i remember liking #recently i found out that the crooked man has like. a whole series????? #each story is about a different protagonist and monster but the characters from previous games show up as side characters

[s4pphoiduser]

blind (2022) is driving me insane. im begging my friends to watch it but theyre either busy with exams or almost exclusively fluff/romance-watchers . i need to talk ab this w someone just hit me up or something GOD

#kdrama blind (2022) #blind 2022 spoilers #tvn ocn blind (2022) #so my theory is the same as other peoples' its confirmed that 13 yoonjae is sungjoon so im thinking sunghoon was there too (somehow idk) an #that hes 11 and jung inseong the juror is 12. 11 and 12 seem to be real brothers? bc in ep1 11 said 'go meet mom' and not 'go meet your mom #and maybe 11 and 13 escaped together after hiding under the floorboards? since sj Was adopted maybe he was taken in when the parents found #sh after they escaped together? and the thing is everyone is involved somehow so if the mother was like in a high position at the center (i #i didnt the lady at the start of ep7 for someone else) then how was sunghoon there? idk i havent gotten that far on my theory except that #hes 11. maybe they were Both adopted? so the next to die is either the lady idr her name or the producer guy. 24 + 7 r confirmed dead now #13 is sungjoon. and inseong is def connected to this somehow like the rest of the jury. ergo my theory that hes 12. also i think the body #they found w ahn taeho's phone in ep8 is jung yoonjung's (yoonjae's older sister) bc of the necklace and the size of the skeleton. so now #they've found one body from the events of 20 years ago that happened at the center. all the jurors' kids will be killed as revenge for the #parents turning a blind eye on them as kids so theyre being punished by having their beloved children taken away from them. i think its #amazing how theyre all connected they dont know it at all. choi soongil was the only one who recognized ahn taeho (bc of the scar) and #yeom hyejin didnt know her father was sending kids to be abused and enslaved. kang youngki saw kids in numbered uniforms doing hard labor #never said a word bc keeping it a secret earned him money that he spent on his own kid who wouldve been around the same age as them. #from ep8 we see that the producer made a docu on the center and just buried it. and ofc mr baek who was the ringleader of all this. #his daughter killed on her birthday and kang youngki's daughter killed on her wedding day as retribution. im sad that ahn taeho died living #a life of guilt and fear moving around all the time but at least hes free from that now. im glad he got to apologize to 'yoonjae' for it #honestly i cant be mad at ahn taeho bc he was a survivor and a child and terrified. also is it just me or did sunghoon look disappointed #when ahn taeho confessed? like thats all the evidence i have supporting my theory that hes 11 i think. ofc theres the vibes? that he and #sungjoon have more history than the shows let on so far but if he was 11 he would be so disappointed bc he planned their escape #anyway come talk to me about this its driving me crazy

[deus-ex-mona]

little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3

#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~? #so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent #he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends. #he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap #he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t. #like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year. #he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol #he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all. #he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll #he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam #heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is #(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still) #and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries) #our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:((((( #i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!! #he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus #idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :( #2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :(((( #but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really. #but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol #and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me #so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3 #and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be #but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~? #sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂

[lilgynt]

i’m gonna blow my brothers up with my brain

#personal #i’m planning my dads funeral and going over costs with my brothers since we’re all paying for it #and my brother was like hey this is depressing can we stop talking about it for a few days #and he amended that he meant the money aspect not necessarily the planning #but in the moment i have never been more insulted like #okay. so it’s too depressing to talk about but it’s fine to leave me alone to plan it and still care for dad #like i’m not trying to dictate his grief or pull the i have it worse card #but for gods sake have some fucking perspective #so i say okay and leave it at that bc i don’t want to yell at anyone #and he’s not not trying to come at you but #he’s like* #and i’m like i don’t want to be mean but the above i’ll stop talking about this but please keep some perspective #and they both got butt hurt about it #and it’s like i’m not upset about the money - although thank you guys for the taking care of that now #i don’t know if i’m speaking fucking french i’m only asking you guys keep some perspective #i got really upset and was like guys you’re barely involed as is. i’m not asking you to wipe his ass with me but just AHHHHH #and i even said i can’t dictate ur grief and my other eldest brother said something like #i don’t even know it was so not related to the convo i was lost but now i have no idea if he’s gonna visit dad #which at this point don’t care never see ur father again i don’t know man #and the other one got mad bc he’s been helping financially and emotionally with my mom so i apologized for that one #which is fair that was out of line a bit but also it’s like i say a mean comment you guys actively ignore me asking for support for months #like. still bad on my side but i’m very bitter and am going low contact after this

[omarfor-orchestra]

.

#she got mad because I don't want to go to genova with them #excuse me #'it's so we can spend time together' girl we spend 24/7 together #no one will die if we don't see each other for one day #she got SO FUCKING MAD #WHAT THE FUCK #'ok then i won't come here anymore' PLEASE #is it too much to ask? for one day to be alone? #and now my father doesn't want to go either APRITI CIELO #i wanted to be alone but I'll probably have to stay with him. again. #when will these people learn that i don't live for them #also as if it's my fault that my sister doesn't have friends beside me #it was ok for me for years but not anymore #i don't want to be 30 and only live for my job and my family no interests no nothing #what are you dying? #what the fuck

[afieldinengland]

.

#thinking about back when i passed for a dorian myself. do you think i still do? #ah. too old in the eyes and the liver now maybe. my own fault— something’s harder in my middle. i suppose it’s adulthood #which is of course different to maturity. i already had that. i’d like to think at least #either way. i don’t know if i pass for a prince anymore. something else something else #would i want to? has there been a change that was total? #more like a wounded knight really. well it’s the pretty word games i miss— seducing with taboo. i’m telling stories again #only once or twice have i had the opportunity. dorian did it every day #ganymede narcissus…. hyacinth. warm dead boys #harri can you lighten up a little? you’re nineteen. twenty in july. youth. #there is absolutely nothing in this world but youth. nothing lonelier #i’m becoming my father. mad and soft and cynical #i doubt dorian could drink like i do. no weak london stock you’re wiltshire blood #shoulders to carry buckets. a stare to melt a canvas. i don’t know. i worry #talking talking talking. forgive me it’s been a while since i’ve loosened my tongue like this #i don’t know if i could be coveted. i know i have been. these things coexist #but i’m old now and i’m tired and i want to taste blood when i bite as well as tar-paper #conjuring up bloody idols to make a friend’s insides less haunting. shouldn’t even say that #just…. thinking. thinking thinking about prettier words that make men blush. i think i’m just lonely #dorian got sick of it too. emerging from the attic. now only dogs will follow me

[skeletalheartattack]

its a bit antiquated but you could always hack your wii with the twilight princess method if it's old enough!

sadly i'm not exactly knowledgeable enough to know what that means!

we bought our wii on february 18th of 2009, which i figured out by looking at the inbox thing and just going back several years. it's up to the most recent update that every tutorial ive watched mentions it needing to be, so im not sure if that changes anything.

#ask #anon #i remember us having to go to walmart like 3 different times because they didnt have one the first two times we went #and on the third try. i think it was just me and my father going there to buy it #and the entire time i was like ''its not going to be there'' in my mind as like... my way of conjuring it to be there #cause like as a kid i always had ''bad luck'' in regards to... things you do to be lucky?? like crossing your fingers or whatever #like for me if i did those id always get the opposite or whatever. anyway we got the wii that day #we appearently played wii sports for fucking hours #it was the only game we had up until i got Brawl #which ouhhh looking back on the times on brawl from the wii inbox... lotta hours #anyway appearently i had 10 hours or so in twilight princess before returning it 6 days later to our movie gallery #im a little sad that place shut down after netflix got popular. though i do remember my parents being there to buy and keep a game #granted. it was g-force and i was kinda mad cause i was hoping for like any other game but. you know how it is being a kid #anyway sorry anon i hope that helps at all!!! #im a nervous wreck when it comes to doing anything

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I have a library card again :)

#I’m trying to kill time bc theoretically I’m supposed to help someone move but I don’t know when #she’s got my contact info but I don’t have hers or else I’d ask #also like. theoretically I could have stayed home? but also. my mother asks wayyyy too many questions and I don’t wanna deal with that #my mother is the type of person to be like you offered to help someone? why? well you shouldn’t do it without expecting things #and it’s like what if I just wanna help. huh? and then she gets mad when I don’t help her for fun. ur the one who’s always telling me not to #also tell me why my father immediately upon typing this is asking where I am #ok. both of my parents need to leave me alone now. leave me be please #i gotta change some passwords bc I know my location is shared #literally I left the house before anyone was home specifically so I could avoid the where r u and where r u going questions lol #like 17 days and I’ll be online again. get me out of here #2 weeks. just 2 weeks. oh my god #but! i have a library card now. so that’s a win #unfortunately my eyes r still broken so like. I’m just sitting with a graphic novel #I’d like to read it maybe but it’s not quite my thing but also I don’t wanna just sit here on my phone #soup talks

[queen-of-bel]

despite the fact that like. overclocked is overall the better experience AND it's the version i recommend to people, i'm still always going to personally prefer the original to the remake

#amelia rambles #desu rambles #there's a few reasons for this but the biggest one is that I'm actually extremely lukewarm to yuzu and amane's eighth days #this isn't just personal bias but naoya's route needed that extra bit of fleshing out bc there was always the open question of #'but what if i genuinely want to help people in this route' #fleshing the eighth day out into subroutes was great #but for some reason that nuance wasn't extended to amane's eighth day #no matter which way you slice it desu is a very anti law game #the only person who actually believes in the law alignment gets fucking obliterated #and the actual law rep doesn't even want to do her own alignment #she just doesn't agree with what her father's doing #if you look at just the original ending the only two motivations for kazuya that actually make sense are either #1. belief in ruling through fear #2. wanting personal revenge on naoya and doing this bc he hates him #it's fine for the 8th day to retcon and paint law in a more positive light but they also should've embraced the negative #like they did with naoya's 8th day #to hell with everything; abel loses himself in burning it all down just to get back at cain bc his hatred is *that strong* #and literally do not get me started on yuzu's 8th day that was literally only made bc fans were mad that her ending was like that #'oh no look who it is it's the consequence of my own actions' #man I'm just so sad that ending got a redemption. #... this actually should have been in the main post and not the tags but uhh too lazy to transfer it now..