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#going wacky rn oops
doctorsiren · 9 months
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Doodles during classes today
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bignutspatrol · 1 year
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aight got rid of the irls. mental illness rambling, not anything negative, just reflecting again. big talk on dissociation so avoid if thats an issue for u
idk we used to be so terrified of the whole 'integration' thing but there is something so.. calming and beautiful(?) in acting as one. we're still different in a way, but we're so blurred together that there may as well be no difference between one another. 'switches' are basically seamless at this point, though we never had too much of an issue with that. Amnesia isnt an issue, i mean theres still some memories that we cant really.. access or thinking about it brings up a mental "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS" mental prompt. but like, with no real therapy getting this far is pretty good, no? i dont think i can get too much farther on my own, but thats fine for now. i think theres one or two parts that havent been integrated, judging from gaps and things ive just kinda observed. dissociating is still kind of an issue, but its hard to tell how much of that is from mental illness and how much is from my physical shit just being really bad rn. its never for very long though, and i can snap myself out of it at this point. looking back at how i used to feel like i was.. only ever vaguely aware of things going on, voices just constantly ordering around the body like im a puppet, the fear i felt back then. felt like i was drowning in pure ass dissociation. man. shits so much better. i mean theres also the fact that we actually communicate but. its so relieving to feel like im actually in control, and to actually be in control at least at times. and also to be able to actually trust my parts now too. i still cant tell who the fuck or what the fuck i am but thats fine? i dont think it matters too much at this point. sometimes it bothers me, but like....idk man, friends say im nice n cool, so who cares. i can recognize i have some bad habits and shit, and try to work on them... and the obsession with art is pretty consistent. so is this rambling. dont think what or who i am matters much past that. we've been mostly present the last year or so and its just... its so amazing how we act when we aren't clouded in that shit. feels like a completely new person. i mean it basically is lol but. its so fucking good, i thought i was just an asshole before that but nope! just hard to care or interact with people when your mind does not exist. turns out im kinda funny and bitches like that! who fucking knew. idk when i get that driving license i think ill finally bother to get a therapist. got some things i wanna do that i can only do when i get over the whole trauma shit.
even with all that said a lot of this progress happened /after/ being single. bpds like that lol. man im so fucking glad im over the whole 'if im single i wont be able to live, i can only have a happy life if im with someone' etc shit. i get where its coming from, have that compassion, etc etc, but like... Oh man. Hindsights 20/20. turns out i fucking love myself and love being on my own. i just also love chaotic slightly-bad relationships (i have some standards. not good ones.). gotta work on that too... hah. seriously funny that i kept going on and on abt how good my relationship with [several year dude] was and then. oop. hindsight hits, turns out! probably not that great. especially in the last year. i mean he did cheat on me after leaving me in the dark for months on end so like, no shit, but. idk best not to go into detail on that one. think some ppl that know him follow here lmao. dude is fine, just a bad partner. not abusive just not a good fit for me at all. maybe i just dont understand other depressed people at all lmao? tho my depression is kinda wacky since my emotions are kinda wacky as hell. gonna absolutely have to unpack that one with a therapist. i totally get why its like that but lmaooo solving that is too hellish for me.
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suga-kookiemonster · 4 years
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Ok Ashley, first of all when I saw the gif you used, I know you were about to FUCK ME UPPPP. Alright bubs, buckle up this is gon be a RIDE cus phew I am the biggest hoe for ego. I’ve literally re-read the whole series MULTIPLE TIMES and it’s never NOT funny, like I still cackle at the same jokes every damn time. Anyways, yes let’s get it. I love how you’ve used common tropes like fuckboy!jk, fratboy!jk, college au, F2L, and onebed, but have completely made it your own. Like I feel like even if
you posted your work under some other pen name, I’d still recognize your style and work. You have a very specific voice? Very “YOU” BRAND of writing and that’s probably one of the HARDEST things to achieve as a writer. Mc is a delight and the way she be low key losing her cool over sleepin in the same bed as kook has me cryin cus girl I FEEL YA. “just a t-shirt advertising your university’s Segway club that you had swiped off a table for free during freshman orientation” HAHAHA mc and I are the
same fuckin people is2g cus free is for me. ALSO DUDE, “Jungkook softly, but audibly inhaled, like he was gearing up to say something of importance” BUT WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY?! I need to know, it’s for science. Also, high key endeared that he calls he “noona” cus I’m a pervy old lady and a lady could dream ok. Yes, now we get to the good stuffs, cus motherfucker would I love to wake up to kook’s morning wood wow he really be like a man buffet- he’s both cute and dashingly sexy. “attempting to
smooth your expression into one of ignorant unconsciousness as adrenaline pounded through you. Your eyes were closed, but that didn’t stop you from feeling his close proximity as he gingerly leaned over you to scope out your face” OMFG THE WAY MY BLOOD PRESSURE SKYROCKETED. Ngl been there and it’s SO uncomfortable like can he NOT feel my heart falling right outta my ass??? Kudos to mc for keeping composure (cus I wasn’t able to oops) kinda interested in what the situation woulda looked like had
he known she was awake tho?? “really? … fucking really gonna do this now?” HAHAH OMG “the way he was using the clothes he had apparently grabbed from his bag to hide his crotch from your view” the consistency in your writing is SO IMPRESSIVE like… when I read ego I see it as a move in my head bc of all these small, but important, details. They both migrated towards each other uwu that is SO CUTE, esp with kook as the big spoon wrapped all around her ughhh my heart. And the way she grabbed a
plate of food for baby boy has me SO ENDEARED, it’s so sweet the way she’s thinking of him and his favorite food. Ok, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT NAMJOON AND LISA, cus Namjesus they totally boned that night didn’t they?! The whole breakfast scene had me ROLLING “jungkookie lost his hands in a tragic paragliding accident” and “…like he was sitting there smiling at you, eyes sparkling like he was a big titty anime girl?” honestly, I gotta hand it to you, there has been no fic that makes me laugh the way
ego does. The dialogue, the pop culture references (re: pimp my ride, fear factor, “Squidward”, etc), the humor KILLS ME. You seem like the funny af friend in the group. Like “baby wine doesn’t exist because that illegal. and, frankly, immoral.” “But I would just like to state for the record that I’m the one who passed through her vagina.” “Tore it too, from what I hear” HAHA OMFG THEIR BANTER IS A+ bff shitting on each other and I’m living for it!!! The whole laser tag scene was pure gold.
The way lisa started opening up, jk’s cocky ass, mc/joon’s mess of team work, the way jungkook calls mc “babe” instead of “noona” (what’s with that anyways? He wanna be seen as manlier or something??), the return of the god of destruction, “Yeah, well you also have no upper lip” HAHAHAHA ok but I actually love jk’s sparce upper lip and buck teeth, it’s just so SWEET &ENDEARING. “You watched his tongue roll in his cheek as he considered you. It was sexy” HELL MFING YES IT’S SO SEXY!! I love this
characterization of jk- he’s very layered. He’s sweet, charming, sexy, dumb af, and annoying all at the same time which makes him feel vvv real to me. And now the smut. The fact that they’re in the same position as the other morning, but unlike last time, she’s ready to do something about it. The mouth on that boy omg reminds me of “do you kiss your mom with that mouth?” from an earlier chapter phew. I love that he’s focused on prepping her with all the grinding and fingering. While v sexy, also
shows he cares about her pleasure in that he wants her to enjoy penetration. The bit when he’s just dazed when she’s urging him to get a condom has me chuckling- is he THAT shook that it’s actually happening?? “He slid the rubber on with shaky hands.” Makes me think that he’s both nervous and excited and it’s more than just one time fucking to him. And the way she asks to ride him phew, she really be LIVIN THE DREAM that’s my ultimate fantasy let’s be real until he opens his dumb mouth “Hop on.
Please remember to fasten your seatbelt and for your safety keep all items stowed beneath the seat in front of you until after takeoff” OMFG HE’S SO ANNOYING HAHAHA “You placed another kiss on a pebbled nipple, intrigued when you heard him swallow a moan. Emboldened, you circled it with your tongue, scratched it lightly with your teeth. Jungkook whined, and the sound shot straight to your clit” FUCK THAT’S HOT. I am 10/10 a hoe for nipple play. Holy shit, and the way he pulled outta her cus he
knew he wasn’t going to make it in time for her to cum too, so he opts to eat her out first. We LOVE a man who prioritizes female pleasure!! Hnng and the way she agrees to continue fucking even after she’s already came and the way kook just GOES TO FUCKING TOWN ON THAT PUSS had my vag ROLLINGGGG damn I really feel bad for whoever is sharing a wall with them rn cus that headboard RIP my heart “I win” wtf dude his pillow talk SUCKS ASS. Just when she thinks she’s not just a game to him, he pulls
this shit. It’s probably just a dumb af joke cus we know my bby be competitive as all hell and also ain’t that smart, but damn. Not. The. Time. UGHHHH I just want to squish their faces together and be like "TALK TO EACH OTHER PLS- this is all a terrible misunderstanding" TL;DR my panties are wet, my heart is broken, and I kinda wanna knee kook in the balls. Thank you for this update!! Masterpieces are ALWAYS worth the wait!! It's bitter sweet that ego is comin to the end. Sending all my love
PHEWWWWW, THIS REVIEW!! 😭😭💕we still have one part left, so i’m not gonna confirm or deny any of your assumptions. but OMG, i’m so touched that my work left this big of an impression on you! your commentary made me smile so big 😩😩😩 truly, thank you so much for enjoying my wacky fic and my wacky characters. it really means a lot to know that people love my babies as much as i do, and that they’re actually as invested in the storyline as i am. ego was my first fic for the bts fandom, so she’s really special to me and it makes me happy that others enjoy her 🤧💕 and that you enjoy my writing style 😭😭😭pls 😭😭😭
thank you again for your sweet words. hopefully i can finish ch 8 sooner than later!
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I know that you are taking a mental break, but how long do you think it will be?
(Read after this ask, preferably.) Disclaimer: wacky english. TL;DR because it's ranty-ish, trying to gather my thoughts.
TL;DR: No longer a mental break, New college is just scary busy. Likely to not have a regular posting schedule like before, might post a doodle a week from today (ref. post date: start of 2nd week of June 2020) and/or 2 weeks later. Do not trust, too flaky. I’m no longer keeping up to date with Miraculous but my obsession of Kagami shall not waver. Been using my finger instead of a stylus because i broke it (again). My posting policy will cautiously follow the blog slogan, i.e. “ A Kagami a day keeps the stress away.”
I'm bad at respecting and adhering to promises i make for myself and honestly, super flaky in general. At this point it's no longer a mental break ( it's been abt half a year, oops.) , just never really got around to being able to want to post a doodle, much less that I'm satisfied with.
I don't want to post a doodle for the sake of keeping up with daily quota, rather than myself actually enjoying that little burst of fun and posting a doodle that i did without intention for attention. Because previously i got to a point where i posted daily for quota that ended up stressing me out to constantly meet while i wasn't in the healthiest of mental states while struggling to even get to studying for my national exams, which was kinda ironic considering my blog slogan i.e. " A Kagami a day keeps the stress away."
(Tiny life update: i managed to somehow end up in the last possible pre-college i could enroll in with my subpar results, got a bunch of Bs and 1 A of all my 9 subjects, it's real competitive here. And mAN, am i constantly ridden with work & revision rn .)
About a few weeks ago i got onto tumblr again and i was especially grateful for all the reblogs + the tags (yes, i do read those!), and had multiple notifications from this blog, every other day. Thanks for being supportive even though I've gone super inactive and left really bad doodles as the front face of the blog, i.e. day 116, 115, 113 , etc.,,,,, .
Got annoyed at the signature doodle "art style" of this blog at one point, improved on anatomy, ish. I’m not as often active on tumblr in general, anymore, but i’m more active on my instagram art account. Have been experiencing pain in the separate fo sections of my arms, including both hands, might be gripping the pen too tightly/ posture issues. Broke a new stylus, which still kinda works but the nib was irreplaceable with no pressure sensitivity, i use my fingers on the table screen no, quite used to it. Might invest in a new proper one with my own savings in the near future, manually thickening lines is time consuming.
I have lost feels for miraculous and still haven’t viewed most of S3. I’m likely not going to in the near future, so this blog will stay mostly spoiler-free. ( Unless It’s to do with kagami, but even so, I’m late to news.)
I’ve seen multiple Kagami fanarts that frankly is stylised much better than i did to my “style(s)”, they were all really good and I unintentionally obsessed too much over them, to become demotivated about posting my doodles. I want to but can’t be fully immune to envying other arts against my own, which just leads to the vicious cycle of downward spiraling of my confidence that i can improve.
To actually answer the question, how long more before i revive this blog per se, to bluntly put it, I don't know? I do have some wip doodles in reserve (which i don't think I will end up posting, because of that mixed feeling of ew × ugh.). Any original plan has been scrapped i guess, mostly because if I can't remember, then it was probably something i won't stick to and should probably come up with a better plan that I can more realistically follow.
However, if I were to come up with a solid time/date, if I have completed my revision for the next week (term exams ;v), i might post one doodle (though, I’d like if it was mq-hq for a comeback ygm). There’s a 50% chance of that happening. And then regardless, i might post another in the Fourth week of June 2020 (ref. date of this post: start of week 2 of June). I can’t be sure, like i said i’m flaky, probably might not have a regular post schedule like before, don’t take my word for this. Treat this like a fanfiction series, it updates unpredicatably and you probably forgot about it until it updated a follow up chapter to a cliff hanger 3 months to 10 years later. 
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onepunchmiss · 5 years
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OPM s2e10 Live Blog
“Justice Under Siege”
ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic
ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY
lets try that again ok
AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t
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This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff
OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST
Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO
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Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD
WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G
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AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!
ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that
“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING
OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn
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oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H  A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????
ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN 
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YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE  WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY  and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???
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Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool 
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[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH
CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.
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Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD
im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs
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This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.
Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.
Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?
Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.
He smak the table
He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.
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Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you
Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did
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WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING
GAROU
YOU
ARE  
AMAZING SON
like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.
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NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.
This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!
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shadowchildkaito · 3 years
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———  BASICS! ♡
NAME! ♡ -  Cherry. if you’ve known me long enough you might know another name but shhhhhhh
PRONOUNS! ♡ -  they/them
ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ -   Pisces. i feel bad for Kaito sometimes because of this XD
TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ -  meh
———  THREE  FACTS! ♡
1! ♡  -   i was in a magic show a while back. mostly there for singing and small tricks, but i did get paid for it. the second time i tried i didn’t get anything and then i kinda felt bad because i had shared (publicly listed, i checked) youtube videos that had been in the private group and later realized that i? wasn’t supposed to? oops. never told them but i’m not in that group anymore so whatever. i know a few things and i’m content
2! ♡ -   i was in a motorcycle crash a bit over four years ago. playing Neo TWEWY brought back my thumb pain. oops
3! ♡ -   i used to like, never swear unless i was quoting someone. this wasn’t even that long ago. now if someone else swears first or i know i’m in a place where it’s chill, i’ll do it a fair bit. i feel weird when people don’t get surprised the first time they hear me swear
———  EXPERIENCE! ♡
PLATFORMS USED! ♡ -  oh gosh uh. forums. tumblr obviously. casual shit on DA and some IMs. in a wacky discord server for roleplay rn though! crossovers go brrrrrr
———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡
FEMALE, MALE OR NONBINARY! ♡ - believe it or not i used to skew female. now it’s about an even split between that and male for canon characters, and most new OCs are nonbinary, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ -    i generally do single blogs with the occasional side character
FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡ - fluff and angst are great. heck now i’m thinking of flangst. the mixture of the two. no smut though please
PLOT / MEMES! ♡ -  depends on my mood tbh
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