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sideshow-cellophane-blog · 10 months

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Stakeout Vacation (Part 1)

Established polygang with OT5, main focus is ZeniGoe. Zenigata is lead to and "forced" to wait with Goemon in a safehouse until Lupin and Jigen re-emerge from hiding.

"Lupin and Jigen are out of the country."

"What? No, I know that they're here, I just-"

"It is just you and I on this hill," Goemon's eyes did not open yet, and he did not move from the grass tickling his neck in the breeze. He simply refused to get up from the ground. "Take a seat, Zenigata. The clouds are lovely and you are out of your jurisdiction. I'm not wanted in this country."

He opened his eyes. There went a dragonfly above his face. The sun sat behind a cloud that was too lazy to move, and the tree above the pair was providing the perfect shade to obstruct the harsh light when it came back out. Judging by the angle, it was due to set within a few hours anyway. He hoped to be able to see the sunset with company this evening.

The inspector grumbled to himself and paced around Goemon instead of observing the lovely hilltop. "No, I know that they're around here, Lupin sent me his calling card from the mailbox on this land and you're here and I've been chasing you guys for a month now with no other leads, they can't not be here!" He stamped his feet and threw his fists up in the air, down again, venting his frustrations.

"I am sorry to disappoint you," Goemon sat up. "Not even I know where they went to. Lupin had me send out his calling card from here to throw you off...It worked. By now, I say that you and I will both know where they were when we see the news. Or when they come back and tell us themselves."

Zenigata began to curse and pace in a frenzy that Goemon recognized was building into a full-blown Zenigata Meltdown. He understood. A month of investigating to not even see the thief? It was a waste of time better spent chasing real criminals and upholding his suffering reputation.

"Would you care for some tea and soup? The cabin on the other side of this hill is where I am staying." Goemon sighed as he watched the lawful man break down. Lupin might have pushed their inspector too far on this one. "Zenigata?...You can stay with me until they come back. I believe that was the initial-"

"No," The lumbering man crashed to his knees in front of Goemon, seething and pointing a finger in his face. "You know where they are and what they're planning, don't you?!"

Goemon blinked. "I do not. I was purposely left in the dark on this one and am supposed to wait with you until they return. I was actually looking forward to-"

"So they're coming back!"

He deflated. "It could take up to a month. I don't know when."

His face fell, and Goemon feared he would have to comfort the inspector as he cried. "No…No!" His eyes hardened. "You know where they are! You have to! Tell me!"

Goemon did not expect the larger man to tackle him back to the ground and straddle his waist. "I don't know! Zenigata, I - WAIT!" His eyes widened, his hips twitched.

Zenigata was squeezing him. Large, awkward fingers were curling into his ribs and sides, and Goemon couldn't push him off. The sheer, silly absurdity of the action was what stopped him from reaching for his katana several feet away.

"Tell me what they're planning!"

"I don't know!" Goemon couldn't stop his ticklish giggling from escaping, filling the silent hilltop with loud, echoing joy. He tried to push the giant hands off of his torso, but they were latched on with a strength only the inspector possessed. He resorted to begging instead of killing. "STAHAHAP! Geddahff! I don't know!"

"I'm not stopping until you tell me what his plan is!" It was both a warning and a tease. Something inside of Zenigata began to melt away as he made the normally stoic samurai writhe beneath him. It was not only an interrogation, it was downright therapeutic after a month of near solitude and restless nights going over leads and other open cases. Side jobs he could use to keep his reputation in place meant brownie points for when his paid time off happened to coincide with Lupin's disappearances from the public eye. Goemon's laugh and smile were rarely seen by the inspector, if ever. Most of his focus was usually on the others when they were alone during these coincidental times between heists.

He had forgotten that behind the legends and crimes, Goemon was very human. He was pleased to see that a highly trained assassin would trust him enough to endure lighthearted humiliation only Lupin or Fujiko usually tolerated. He appreciated not being killed on the spot for it.

And if Goemon was telling the truth, which he probably was, then Zenigata had some time to wait for the other two to emerge from wherever they were. He forced his lips to curl back down, stopping himself from smiling. "This is no laughing matter, Goemon! You either tell me where they are or I'll drag you down to that cabin and tickle you until they come back!"

"W-waha! WAIT! Aha, get ahaff!" Goemon's eyes widened through the tickle induced hysteria. His arms had long since snapped to his sides to try and protect them, and he was wiggling from side to side. He managed to roll onto his side, then stomach, but that was because Zenigata had let him so he could in turn have more control.

He sat on the backs of Goemon's thighs and dragged his fingers up and down his ribs over the hanbok. "Oooooh, Goemon! I'll stop tickling you when you tell meeeee~! Where are theeeey?"

Grass strands were torn from the ground as Goemon tried to crawl forward and away from the humiliating torture. His elbows shot down with a squeak when those pesky fingers darted into his armpits, and stayed there, and Goemon forgot what the initial question was.

He couldn't stop laughing for the life of him.

"Tell me! Are you lying? Are they really down there in the cabin?! Awful mean of you to make me park two mountains away from it!"

"Gehehet ohoOOOOFF!" He outright squealed as Zenigata wormed his way into his neck, and no matter how Goemon scrunched it up the fingers found a new way to the sensitive nerves.

This was a distraction. Goemon heard the distinctive metallic click of a handcuff, felt it around his wrist, and that was followed by the other arm being forced behind his back to connect the two together. The tickling stopped and Goemon panted.

"Heheh," Zenigata chuckled darkly. "We're going down to the cabin. If they are there and you're lying for them…"

Goemon gulped as he caught his breath. "They won't be, I've told you the truth!"

"Then I'm staying right by your side until we find them!"

They each grunted as Zenigata picked up the handcuffed man and tossed him over his shoulder like it was nothing, and grabbed Zantesuken in its sheath with his free hand to stick it in a deep coat pocket. He started downhill towards the old wooden cabin in question, surrounded by overgrowth and worn down machinery from old heists in the surrounding valley. No wonder it was so far away from town, in the middle of nowhere.

There was the beginning of a crude path cut with a sword through the brush, which Zenigata figured Goemon had made, and he followed that down the hill to finish his hike.

One of his hands held and occasionally squeezed Goemon's knee, making the samurai grunt and squirm even more. "Stop moving. I don't wanna drop you."

"It tickles," Goemon spat out. "You're sadistic. That was an abuse of power."

He scoffed. "I didn't think you'd be so sensitive. Don't worry, I'll keep it out of my report when I'm done here."

"I have seen Lupin do the same to you before on many occasions," His mood soured further. "It's not an honorable fight when child play is involved. If you had fought me in a fair duel I'd have won."

"Maybe…But it's you," Zenigata minded his hands as they approached the cabin. "Goemon Ishikawa, the ticklish samurai!" He chuckled.

"I can walk!" Goemon changed the subject. "Stop teasing and put me down!"

"You can run away too, and kick, and squirm. You're letting me carry you. Why would Lupin leave you behind anyhow? What's his idea?"

"I was told to stay here and entertain you until they come back," Goemon's answers were coming faster and shorter. They were close to the front door now. "I'm not sure when that will be, but I'd rather not be tortured during that time. I'm not cutting down a formidable foe over something so trivial but I'm not above breaking Lupin's heart either."

"Hmph," Part of Zenigata already figured that Goemon was right, that Lupin and Jigen wouldn't be down there, but he had to be sure. He had been following the gang across Europe for months now, all small clues recently until Lupin's calling card with an address came in the mail days ago. "Is the door locked?"

"No. I was expecting you."

Without setting him down, Zenigata turned the handle and stepped in. Everything was in one big room with a hallway in the back of the cabin. The living area was nice enough, but water stains, dust and chipping tiles, and the aged appliances in the kitchen area told the inspector that the cabin was previously abandoned. The furniture was covered with dusty sheets. He saw the more recent cans and bags that had been brought and set on a table, but no signs of anyone else living here anytime recently.

"Nice place. Fixer upper. Do those doors in the back lead to bedrooms? A bathroom?"

"Both. There is a closet leading to a basement on the right, past the kitchen. I've been staying down there in case someone else found me first."

Zenigata set Goemon down finally, and he landed on his feet easily enough. Zantesuken was set on the table top. "Sit at the table, I'm looking around."

"There is tea on the stove that just needs to be warmed again," Goemon kicked a chair out and did as told. He respected Zenigata for caring for both him and his beloved sword, in his own way. "And I have the ingredients for miso soup and noodles. I'm denying you rice."

"That…still sounds nice," Zenigata perked up at that news - he loved Goemon's traditional cooking - and began a thorough search of the cabin.

He moved to the back bedroom first, checked under the bed and inside the empty closet. He noted that the bed had fresh sheets on it, and the room was cleaner than the living area. The same went for the bathroom that had been stocked with supplies - extra towels, blankets, toilet paper, toothbrushes and paste. It smelled of lemon-scented cleaner. No dirty grime in here or in the bedroom.

Goemon had prepared this for him meticulously with the intent to have him stay. Zenigata could see where the floor had been mopped. He felt a twinge of guilt for being so Lupin-focused when the samurai had obviously been looking forward to this visit.

He moved back out to the main room and was pleased to see Goemon sitting calmly with his hands still behind his back in handcuffs. "Stay put, I'm checking the basement," He grumbled as he passed the other.

Goemon glanced up quickly. "No one is down there."

Zenigata went down anyway. He saw Goemon's cot and empty cans surrounding a camp stove burner and a bag - it had clothes and sharpening stones inside, and calligraphy brushes. The cot was hard and Zenigata shuddered for Goemon's back. Much less care had gone into cleaning the basement than upstairs. Other than that, he found a few worn books and a dead radio that was too dusty to have been used recently. There were canned goods along several shelves, and he checked some extra totes that held moth-eaten clothes and possibly old disguises of Lupin's he would go through later. A record player sat on top of the shelf and he figured there were records somewhere, if they hadn't been sold off already. Amongst the boxes were inventions in varying stages of rusting over, and most seemed to be built of old salvaged metal parts.

It seemed this was one of Lupin's safe houses that he had done some tinkering at. Zenigata didn't see any blueprints, but then why would Lupin leave any behind?

He went back upstairs and uncuffed Goemon, giving him an apologetic peck on the cheek. "You really don't know where they are?"

He touched the spot. "Will you really torture me until I give you a fake location?"

The inspector sighed and plopped into the chair beside him, dropping his head into his arms. "I just don't think I can stay. Not without looking suspicious right now."

"Of course," Goemon nodded. "...But you know they will come back to this location. You could wait with me."

He perked up, lifted his head. "So I'm...and I can…Hey, that works!" He grinned and shot back up to his feet, pulling out a cellphone from his pocket. "I'm telling my superiors I'm staking you three out at an empty hideout outside the city limits," Zenigata paused before hitting the dial and gave the other man in the room a look for a few moments.

Goemon could see the wheels turning.

"...You're obviously not here," He said suddenly. "So be quiet while I talk. You're my ticket to Lupin and I don't want anyone interfering with us when they could be out there looking for him. Plus I…I appreciate the work you put into this place for my stay. Guess I'll honor that while Yata pulls everyone into the closest cities."

"I hope I am more than a ticket to Lupin. I'm making you food even though you tortured me."

"And I still might if you keep giving me sass. Might make you sleep on that hard cot in the basement another few days while I'm at it," While Zenigata made his calls, Goemon stood and started to prepare their dinner.

It wasn't just about stopping a possible heist or staking out a "possible" hideout. Zenigata hadn't been alone with Goemon in a very long time. This was obviously a set up by Lupin to get the police away from something big, while also distracting the best detective for the case with Goemon's (enticing) company.

He would keep an eye on the news.

In the meantime, he was set up with a free place to stay, free food, and somewhat pleasant company that he was mostly positive would not kill him later. This would do.

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