"Today, Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko threw me a surprise birthday party.
At first I was confused, I'm sure everyone knew that I didn't have a birthday, until I remembered the time I lied to Fujiko and told a random date so she would stop nagging me about it. If I knew she'd take it that seriously I would've zipped my mouth.
I'm unfamiliar with how birthday parties work, but I think this one was more… exciting than the usual. Goemon botched the cake. He put some mystery ingredient that ruined the taste. Fujiko almost stole my gifts, which was foiled when Zenigata and Melon Cop were caught trying to burn the house down. He won't even give me a break on my birthday!
After we chased them off, I had to put out the fire. Jigen did not help and kept playing with that stupid blower thing.
Normally this would be a failure of a party, but I enjoyed it for some odd reason. I hope they do something like this next year, with a better cake..!"
- Lupin