#god i dont want to be here anymore

[bl00dw1tch]

Am i fundamentally inhuman and unlovable and unfit to exist in modern society and actually secretly an evil fake bitch or am i just going to start my period in a few days.

#horse.txt #the world may never know..... #anyway ive felt especially hateful these past few days and im blaming that dream where i told a karen to khs #bc thats just been in my head on repeat ever since at Every inconvenience and i actually kind of hate it #bc i. have noticed it absolutely tanking my mood every time lmao #which makes acting normal (aka Nice) really fucking hard #i want to be i like being nice its like the only thing going for me but also i have SUCH a talent for pissing ppl off when i Let Go #and man. every day it gets more and more tempting. even though i know id regret it. #i just want to fucking. disappear off the face of the earth for 3 years and then come back to my friends n family as a whole person #instead of whatever the fuck i am now #i have nothing to fucking offer except for things im way too scared to give up. i feel like i can only be honest with complete strangers #but even then like. not really lmao #tale as old as fucking time #god i dont want to be here anymore #vent //

[verflares]

say, what do you think ever happened to that boy from the forest? you think he ever found what he was looking for?

#i have the vaguest hope here that tumblr wont utterly crunch the quality but i think it might be in vain. alas. #anyway take him..... i dont want to look at him anymore #link #oot #mm #loz #oot link #loz fanart #this guy + ss and botw/totk link are my fav guys btw but i think This one has my favourite story across his games and in loz lore itself #gods favourite chewtoy....... he didnt deserve any of that :( #this came out really messy i was kind of just messing around with lineart stuff so im a bit iffy on it but. i like the colours at least #Okay. anyways #my art

[astraystayyh]

if you had read the story of hind raghab, if you had seen the picture of the child hanging from a pole, its lower body shredded, if you had seen the boy carrying pieces of his brother in a body bag, if you had known the soul of my soul, the story of refaat, and the countless war crimes israel has committed just in 7 months then you wouldn’t stream the song skz is putting out with charlie puth, a zionist and overall bad human, and that israeli producer. you would send a clear message that zionism isnt welcome in any capacity in any medium and you wouldn’t want to fund people who support its hateful ideology. this isnt a matter of being a skz anti and im so fucking tired of people painting it as such. where do you draw the line for your morals?

#‘im just here for the kids’ they will be fine if you dont stream one song #and even it they wouldnt be it doesn’t matter because human lives prevail profit #i just saw a fanbase raising 3500+ for this song #do u know what this kind of money could do for a family of palestinians rn #im so livid and it’s actually crazy that there isnt a general consensus about boycotting this song as it has been for cocacola #what’s different? #maybe u saw that this song could actually chart so u dgaf anymore about palestinian lives???? #why would u even want skz to br associated with zionists in the long run??? #im so mad like this is driving me insane #charlie puth is a nobody too like 😭 FREE US OH MY GOD #stray kids

[good-beanswrites]

I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.

Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.

When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs. 

Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off. 

He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone. 

If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.

Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts. 

He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.

Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below. 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken… 

Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones. 

He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down. 

He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?

A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead. 

He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?

Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”

As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.

Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!” 

Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there. 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?

He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?

The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him. 

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.

—

“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed. 

He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.

She didn’t. 

Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said,  “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“But--”

“-- But I’m better, yeah.”

Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing. 

“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.

She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”

“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.

After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts. 

“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.

“They almost killed me. You saved me.”

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #amane momose #i am emotional about them!!! #my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad #but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know #we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything) #and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her #shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong #i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually #it helps both of them grow #he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult #not completely #but one step at a time #tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked #i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here #i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to #the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my #story but thats between her and god fr #drabbles #tw cults #tw child abuse

[pcktknife]

killin myself on deep cuts doorstep to forever change their bond and the trajectory of their lives forever

#kae.txt #i hope you die. i hope we all die. i hope the world explodes. god bless (u_u) #i hate yall i hate it here i want nothing to do with this game anymore and i know what your thinking 'but kae you play every fest' this my #last one please dont let me participate in the next one if you hear me have any excitement for another fest kill me dont even try to talk me #out of it just put a stop to it then and there never let me do this again #stop this madness

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity #i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet #he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point #its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent #so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home #it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying #its not fair. shes only 53 #i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel #and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer #i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated #and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after #this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates #comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak #its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta #horrible apprently shes been deterorating #god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate #cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering #well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine #just sad ya kno? #three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery #now shes dying #unrelated

[floorpancakes]

the further you get into rou the more you get the feeling whenever doumeki goes into another room and fucking stares at the floor like what the fuck do i do now the camera cuts and he actually just full on screams like he's being murdered for 20 minutes and then readjusts his expression back to normal and takes a deep breath and walks back into the room and is like aight where's the wine

#I JUSTTTT #i have to admit it i am actually a big rou defender but its very conditional #certain parts are too hard to read which is probably why i dont talk about kohane much here but #the pain is also kind of delicious its just #you desperately desperately want to wish its temporary #cause if its forever and no magic bullshit happens my god #this is already a known thing but doumeki truly suffered more than jesus like bro was in the trenches 24/7 #and he kept throwing himself into the jaw of misery itself because there is pain but there is also the love #and also its probably the only place he wants to even fucking exist anymore #god.... #xxxholic #shrugs

[indigopoptart]

man i love the people im surrounded with. how did this happen. youre all so lovely😭

#istg tumblr is the BEST place to find people #all my current online friends who im close asf with are people i found on here #my girl my besties hell even some of my mutuals i dont talk to bruh #almost all of em were found on here #who knew life would turn like this bro. who knew #its grateful hours rn stfu idc #like yall. i cannot put into words how much you mean to me #im finally getting out of a mental rut thats lasted me a few months (school related) (school just ended) #and the fact YALL STAYED BY ME??? #its small nd yall r gonna be like dub miguel. friends do that #but i aint never had that #like the past three years around this same time i have lost people important to me and lost core support systems over and over and over #and it feels nice that im better enough/healed enough #and surrounded by people who truly care for me #that thats not the case anymore. its so liberating and god does it make me want to cry tears of gratefulness that this is my life now #i am loved in so many ways that i cannot even recount right now. #sorry maternity classes gang (group chat) im gonna lovedump later on you tonight probably #man. mann. #this is my life #like #/pos #thats so lovely man. #wanna namedrop yall so bad bc people deserve to know you all and deserve to know how beautiful and loving you are #but ik i shouldnt for privacy😭 #ily all tho #even if we aint talk much ur presence is always appreciated by me #sorry sorry ill shut up now😭 #indigo speaks #yapping

[crescentfool]

going to keep this vague on purpose but playing reload has reactivated brain chemicals in me that i forgot i had.

i think i'd want to make a more thought out post later, but i think my favorite thing about reload (aside from seeing minato in full HD glory) is how much it's made me think about video games as a storytelling medium- specifically with what mechanics and game design imply for characters.

there's a lot of quality of life features added to reload that help players easily enter a flow state and get immersed in the gameplay (most notable with tartarus)! which is so dope! reload has been such a nice blend of the mechanics from both FES and portable and it feels like a love letter to persona 3 fans.

there are definitely mechanics i miss from FES (minato's ability to wield multiple weapons being one of them). i can't deny that FES has some dated mechanics that don't necessarily feel fun for the player experience... but!

i think i mostly miss things from FES because i feel like so much of minato's characterization (for me) was informed by the gameplay experience and mechanics (e.g. fatigue system). obviously there's still other ways you can put together his personality (his dialogue responses), but i think game mechanics are a bit part of it, for me.

but in spite of that, i think reload is a really nice introduction to persona 3, it's so much more accessible and has a bunch of things to help make it more fun :) so far i think i'd recommend it to people :D

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #i don't even really talk about mechanics from reload specifically here but just in case haha #lizzy speaks #im really enjoying this game. i dont want to get into specific details abt reload in a text post atm #and if i do in the future it'll be under the cut #but my god this game is giving me big brainrot #i know i tend to mostly just be like 'hehe fanart reblogging time and here is me talking about the two guys i like' #but playing reload again reminded me of how much i loved playing FES because it was so fun for me to see how FES was designed #like... every time i finished FES i'd think about how much modernsona evolved the gameplay formula and built upon it #and now every time i finish reload i think 'goddamn they've really nailed the formula this experience is so fun' #but also it's fun for me to think about the different experiences curated by both FES and reload #i don't really know if anyone would play FES anymore with reload being out but i still really like the takeaways from FES #FES mechanics may not be the most convenient for the player but they definitely help sell the narrative in ways that only a video game can #like sometimes i just think about the movies and while its a good summary of the events it feels more like supplementary material #like p3 is 80+ hours and in order to have that 6 hour movie experience there's so much that has to be condensed/removed. they hit different #sometime after i finish reload im going to make a text post about my favorite mechanics from FES and how you can read into minato's- #character from it (i don't feel like it's very original but GUYS I LOVE GAME DESIGN GAME DESIGN IS SO COOL AND INTERESTING) #anyways. i needed 2 get my feelings out there. im on august 4th rn. this game is so awesome i love experiencing minato's day to day life #and i fucking LOVE TARTARUS!!!!!! (this tower is my beloved i can just live here forever). #i love having no expectations for video games ever because then i get knocked out of my seat im having so much fun. ok bye. back to the voi

[mrdreyferin]

it hurts differently.

i think me and my gunshot once talked about having kids. its resurfaced somehow and ive had a realization of sorts. ill never actually hold a kid if i get one. sure, the robot arms, they work and shit, but theyre not mine. its nice enough (for lack of a better word) that ensa made them, but itll never be my arms.

i wont ever actually hug, highfive, hold. i wont be able to grab with my own arms. i cant even fucking swim with my own arms again.

#swimming...fuck. oh dear gods. #nononononononononononononon #i dont want that memory why is it back why is here #i cant tell if i cant breath or if i dont want to anymore. #oh dear fuck. fuck. fuck. #a ferins fire #just role(play) with it #jrwi drey

[buppypuppy]

.

#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad. #the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously. #being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like. #it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help. #i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!! #because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like . #i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad. #my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well. #i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate. #i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day. #jane mary cry one tear

[sushiboxers]

its probably the mental illness talking maybe but im so fucking tired of people. give a single flying fuck about me or just leave me the hell alone

#i want someone to care so bad but if u dont actually just be honest and fuck off #this isnt at anyone in particular or anyone here just like god i hate people you know #sushibarks #i might be spiraling idc anymore whatever dude

[thebirdandhersong]

.

#as a side note i had a moment of horrid irony when i thought suddenly that I WISHED mr knight were there #because he was at the vigil last year and used to be a part of my church. and i suddenly missed all my old housemates #who were here last year! went to hug people during the peace and a good friend asked if i was okay #i was like 😭😭😭😭 not really and then turned around and SAW the boy and was like well this is a twist in the plot i truly dont care for #anyway all's well i just cried buckets more my heart's been wrung OUT #he lives fae away. he was not supposed to come. anyway he did and i shook his hand formally because he offered to (???) #*far away #it was totally bizarre #he did not stay for long which. thank God. i wouldve been so much more tired if he had #but he wished me happy birthday which irked me because we'd had an unspoken agreement to not wish each other happy birthday (for fear of #mixed signals) which. happened i guess #it was INCREDIBLY bizarre. the safest ive ever felt in my life was when he was holding me #and now he's a familiar stranger i know too well whom i dont WANT to know #anyway it has been a heartwrenching and soul draining Lent and past six months or more and i was ready to cry #and so i did. bawled like a baby after certain readings and songs. cried and cried and cried #re: reasons for that concerning the ex boyfriend: it is SO weird and i dont know how to deal with it #like. i still have so much love that it feels like grief and the grief bleeds into that love too #but that love isnt for HIM anymore or at least not the person i found he was. so now it really does have nowhere to go #ANYHOW IT'S LATE BUT THE POINT IS. HE IS RISEN AND THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS #THAN SEEING YOUR EX BOYFRIEND AT CHURCH AND BEING LIKE ?????? HUH????????

[astraskylark]

I am the lowest point in my life right now, I fucking hate exams I just wanna graduate please get me tf outta here

#im so fucking tired #i really dont want to do thid anymore #gods #i feel like im goddamn cursed #i just want to get out and be far far away from here #this is turning into a depressing rant probably delete later #i hope things are different 10 weeks from now #please #im really wishing it #AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[i-bring-crack]

A Journey to the West x SL crossover would be fun

Liu Zhigang as Sun Wukong

Woo Jin-Chul as Tang sanzang

Christopher Reed as Pigsy Zhu Bajie

Thomas Andre as Sandy Sha Wujing

Kaisel is the White Dragon Horse

Cha Hae-In as GuanYin

Woo Jin-Chul who always has to get saved from every kind of demon attack by Liu Zhigang and the gang, all of this crisis just to deliver some scrolls to the West. Meanwhile lady Hae-In is just giving them farewell wishes from afar with her pet fish and her disciple Han Song-Yi.

Liu Zhigang was known very well as the Sage Equal to Heaven, often caused chaos since the time of his birth, it wasn't until he got kicked to the ground by Buddha and rested over a mountain for 500 years. Then Hae-In, trying to see who would be a good candidate to take care of this very important monk, decided to go to his mountain and convince him that he shall take care of Woo Jin-Chul from all kinds of evils in this trip.

The old Lao Tzu is Go Gun Hee.

The Jade Emperor is Yoo Jin-Ho who was entirely scared of a lot Liu Zhigangs acting and the way he just became immortal like 5 times. He eventually was the one to ask for help from the Buddha.

S-

S-sung

S-sung Jin Woo as six ear macaque 👀👀👀

Sung Jin Woo creating tension between Zhigang and Jin-Chul because he knows how much zhigang cares for Jin-Chul and he is jealous of that.

Sung Jin-Woo also appearing more times in the story just to keep creating problems for Zhigang more than Jin-Chul, he gets to be a bit fond of Jin-Chul and wants to take him away so that HE can be Jin-Chul's disciple and not Zhigang, that way Zhigang cannot become enlightened with Jin-Chul.

#guys i just realised #there might be fon jinchul Mpreg #god i love the journey to the west like ill read it and proabbly make more headcanons about it here #Jin woo fooling Jin chul about being Liu Zhigang and then Liu zhigang is just over there eating peaches and crying because Woo Jin chul - #said he doesnt want him as a disciple anymore and Hae In is like 'i guess imma have to talk to him about it ughhh' #I dont know whenever I should choose Laura or Hae In as Guan Yin #I also dont know whenever its rude to change the people as whoever you want? i mean they are characters from a book but they are also real #Buddhist and taoist figures... #I mean here Jesus could be portrayed as Beyonce and no one would bat an eye. #but idk if its the same there hmmmm #anyways might just get the story from the movies too so its more acceptable #hwbisbwk im doing mental gymnastics for some reason #solo leveling #solo leveling manwha #cha hae in #sung jin woo #he only appears once lmao #but in this fanfic he will probably appear more times absolutely just to cause chaos between Jin-Chul and Zhigang #Julyarya this can absolutely count as a shipping fanfic of Zhigang and JinChul #liu zhigang #thomas andre #christopher reed #kaisel sl #go gun hee #yoo jinho #woo jin chul

[bangcakes]

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#whats so disturbing. mostly bc i used to be so content being independent #is that whenever im somewhere. be it alone. or with other ppl. i always wish he was with me NXJZJZJZMMZMZMZZMMZ #LIKE THAT IS SO........... XJJZJKZKZKZK GOD #i went to like. a market today n the whole time i was like... man itd have been so fun if he was here ..... JDJSJZJZM GOD #i have it so bad #but i was always like. if i find someone i like hangjng out with more than i like being by myself... obvi thats the person for me #but when i said that. i kind of assumed that was an Impossibility but oh the turn tables JJXJXJXMXJZJZM #n e way. its just me writing another lovesick post JDJDMJDJDJDJS #personal #im getting close to making a move i think. but kind of want to settle in my job first. and like jddjddjjkdk he Knows i just got one after #looking for a long time so i think hes like. understanding that we havent seen each other Njdjdjz LOL IDK. im just assuming #we have talked consistently every week tho since i last saw him. which is pretty good for us tbh #idk i like that we dont have to talk all the time. i always hated when guys message constantly JDNDJDNZNDN like leave me alone i have a life #JDJDJDJSJZMZ #but yeah... im not worried anymore nor do i feel the need to constantly validate whether he likes me or not. i think at this point its... #clear JDJDJDJJDKXKXJX #WATCH ME BE WRONG LMAO GOD. #ah well... things will turn out how they turn out