#go listen to preachers daughter

[jea-lousy1]

-Family tree(intro),Ethel Cain

#beyond evil #beyond evil 2022 #han juwon #lee dongsik #i’m not okay #GHGRERRRGGHh #every Ethel Cain song reminds me of them #go listen to preachers daughter #hanjuwon is nothing like his father and everything like his mom #he literally CANNOT run away from her #Han juwon is his mothers son #I hate beyond evil mmmhh #fuck Han kihwan #daddy issues #mommy issues #jwds #stop projecting on han juwon challange failed

[potato-jem]

BUT I ALWAYS KNEW THAT IN THE END NO ONE WAS COMING TO SAVE ME SO I JUST PRAYED AND I KEEP PRAYING AND PRAYING PRAYING IF ITS MEANT TO BE THEN IT WILL BE SO I MET HIM THERE AND TOLD HIM I BELIEVE SINGING IF ITS MEANT TO BE THEN IT WILL BE I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME

#i can never just listen to this song #i go insane #sun bleached flies #ethel cain #preachers daughter

[strangersatellites]

strangers 1.3k words

inspired by ethel cain's song "strangers" and if you read this it is a requirement that you listen to it. (its linked at the bottom)

idk team I was just listening to this song for the millionth time and needed to get this out, so here's 1.3k words of Eddie experiencing life after death and Steve dealing with grief and guilt I guess

Eddie is a ghost. 

He’s made his peace with that.

Some kind of Upside-Down ghost probably. He doesn’t really care.

The people of Hawkins don’t know that. They still believe, still fear that he’s out there somewhere. Everyone that cared about him knows better.

WIthout a proper grave he just kind of… drifts. 

Into and out of spaces, he leaves behind no trace save for a soft breeze if someone’s really paying attention.

They usually aren’t.

He’s not really a physical being so much as a feeling. Still in his body but less aware of it than he ever was. He thinks he couldn’t explain it if he wanted to. Couldn’t explain the way that people can’t see him or hear him when he’s there, but later feel like they had, and feel crazy trying to explain it. He’s had to learn his way around his new consciousness in a way that lets him be near the ones he cares about without hurting them. It's an exhausting cycle, to feel out of your mind.

He can see it in the way dread and grief tug at the shoulders of the people he loved. He knows this because the more someone thinks of him, the closer he can get to them. 

At first he was at home a lot. 

Well, as at home as he could be in this new place they’ve got Wayne in. It’s nowhere Eddie’d ever been when he was living, but Wayne’s there so it's home nonetheless. But as weeks turn into months the closest he can get is just outside the door. He can’t get inside, can’t actually see Wayne anymore. Can’t see the way that loneliness weighs him down. The way he picks himself up every time.

So he lets himself drift to wherever he’s pulled next. A time or two it's been to Jeff’s garage while he’s practicing. Several times he’s gotten to see inside Dustin’s room late at night before the kid falls asleep. 

But the place he’s finding himself more and more often, he didn’t recognize at first. He just knew it was a basement somewhere. Drafty, door locked tight, and with nothing but dusty tools to keep him company, he found comfort in knowing that someone was remembering him. Even if only a little. Even if it’s a stranger.

Eddie’s drifted in and out of whatever kind of consciousness he experiences for a while before his surroundings morph and change. 

The kitchen of the Harrington house he would recognize anywhere. 

He smiles as he takes in the new space and thinks that if he had a human body he’d be sat up on the counter just like he is now.

Steve walks into the kitchen with a furrow in his brow and Eddie takes the time to really look.

This is the first time he’s seen Steve since the last of his air left his lungs and he’s hit with a strange sense of longing. 

Can see it in the bags under Steve’s eyes that, even now, say he’s still carrying everything on his own.

He’d always done that.

When Eddie had made that stupid, stupid decision, though he’d be loath to admit it alive, he’d wondered if Steve would've done the same thing. 

He thinks they both knew the answer was yes and that that’s the reason Steve still looks like hell even months later.

He looks like hell but he’s still so handsome walking over toward Eddie now. 

Eddie knows he can’t see him, doesn’t know he’s there. But he still finds himself longing for the closeness when Steve grabs a glass from the cabinet and leaves the room again.

In an instant Eddie’s back in the basement. Steve’s memory of him gone as quick as it came as Eddie is left with the question that followed him his whole life:

Am I no good?

As he wastes away in the drafty, cold he realizes that he doesn’t feel a pull anywhere else. He decides that seeing Steve once in a while, if only for a short time, is better than being forgotten.

It becomes a routine. Eddie’s hours will turn into days, and he’ll lose track of time. Then he’ll blink and he’s watching Steve stare at himself in the mirror. He looks like he’s been crying and like he’s going to be sick. Eddie wants nothing more than to be able to comfort him. But as quick as they come, they go, and Eddie begins to connect the dots. 

Eddie’s memory, like everything else Steve seldom allows himself to feel, gets carried with him always. But he locks them away tight in his heart and only lets them out when he thinks no one is watching. When he thinks he’s allowed to miss Eddie.

So Eddie stays in the basement, stays in Steve’s heart, heavy, guilty, until Steve’s ready to face it again.

One day it catches Steve by surprise.

Eddie can tell because he’s in the middle of putting away groceries when Eddie gets there.

At first Eddie’s confused. But then he sees the milk carton in Steve’s hand with the big MISSING: EDDIE MUNSON and his photo on the side. There’s a sale sticker over his face in what was surely some angry grocer’s last ditch effort to sell milk with the Hawkins devil on the side.

Steve’s frozen just looking at it and honestly Eddie gets it.

After everything that was lost, this may very well be the only physical memory of him that’s left save for a polaroid photo in an evidence locker somewhere.

He’s able to drift close enough to hear the breath Steve lets out before he puts it in the fridge and finishes unpacking his bags.

From that point on Eddie’s no longer in the basement.

He’s able to drift all around Steve’s house and he learns that he can touch things.

He watches Steve’s smile come back when Robin’s over.

He flits his fingers across windchimes when the air is still and watches them take in the music.

He watches Steve crash after long days at work and drags a blanket up over his shoulder.

Sees his confused face when he wakes.

He looks on when Steve pours the milk down the drain and puts the empty carton right back in the fridge.

Even though this makes him sad, he makes a smiley face out of the magnets on the door. Hopes that Steve notices.

He sees him scream out his anger late into the night and wishes that he could touch Steve.

But as time goes on he’s able to witness the way that Steve learns to carry the guilt, but to also try to let himself breathe.

Eddie spends a lot of his time wishing he were alive so that he could tell Steve he’s proud of him. That he could tell him he’s surrounded by people who would help him carry it all if he would just put it down. Wishes he were alive for a lot more reasons than just that.

But the night he gets the closest is when he figures out that he can use the phone in the office to call the one in Steve’s room while he’s away.

He’d learned early on in this afterlife that if he spoke he wouldn’t be heard. But he has a hunch that this might be an Upside-Down loophole.

He’s sitting on the floor across from where Steve’s lying in bed, and he’s watching the stream of tears drip down his pretty, pretty face while he listens to the voicemail.

Hey Stevie.

Called you just to tell you that I made it real far, and that I never blamed you for loving the way that you do while you were torn apart.

I would still wait with you there.

Don’t think about it too hard or you’ll never sleep a wink at night again. Don’t worry about me, Stevie, just know that I loved you.

And I’ll see you when you get here.

#steddie #kinda #im not even going to properly tag this #this is purely self-indulgent #sad steddie hours #gin writes #things I wrote instead of things I should be writing #y'all like actually have to listen to the song to get the full effect of this #if y’all haven’t gotten the gist by now #preachers daughter literally changed my life #and i will never shut the fuck up about it

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Someone said Ghost is Ethel Cain coded and now I’m devastated

#because they’re right #he is #simon ghost riley #this is all I’m going to think about now #I’m going to listen to preachers daughter just for him

[uruwashinonightingale]

so, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself .

ref:

#HEY GUYS. DID YOU KNOW. #IT’s THE ANNIVERSARY OF PREACHER’S DAUGHTER: #clears throat i mean um yeah so i redrew shiki as ethel in this one image #please . give ethel cain a listen if you don’t know her already #i love her… she is the reason i am able to romanticize my life #ok enough rambling about ethel cain #person on my last shiki post who said that we need to talk about shiki’s relationship with religion more #i agree!!!!!!! #i’m going to go rant on twitter a bit about this so #anyways right the actual tags #paradox live #paralive #pararai #shiki ando #the cat’s whiskers #doodle

[freakurodani]

[grass fills your lungs//choke on it]

#woah... not fan art #TECHNICALLY #i listened to preachers daughter and it made me go insane and brought up feelings i havent felt in a while #conspiracy lvl: art #anyway the smell of dry grass on hot days is horror to me <3

[honeyedlashton]

THE YEAR 2023 IN ALBUMS:

Thank you to Li (@himbopercy) for tagging me in this!! You know I love to talk about myself!! 🩷🤍💛💜

I’ve divided them into 3 categories:

Column 1: ✨Gay People’s Carplay 🪩

Pink Friday 2 by Nicki Minaj

Endless Summer Vacation by Miley Cyrus

STARFUCKER by Slayyyter

Column 2: 🪦 I will do it, I’m not like you hoes ⚰️

Unreal Unearth by Hozier

The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We by Mitski

Preacher’s Daughter by Ethel Cain

Column 3: 🕷️ Bela Lugosi’s Wake 🕯️

Pornography by The Cure

Floodland by The Sisters of Mercy

Bloodflowers by The Cure

(Sorry these aren’t all 2023 albums I’m going for more of a vibe my year had instead of album year accuracy)

I’m gonna tag: @oceanofmydoubt @sofsversion @yellowjellobean @vasattope @iwannabeashtonslave and @retromalum and anyone else who really wants to.

#I know that the last column and also preachers daughter didnt come out this year #I could have included the record but I never listened to it again after the spring so meh #id rather go with things that really captured my attention #most of them are from this year so pat on the back #happy new years eve eve #getting it in early #li!!! #himbopercy!!! #orange soda #playlist #also wow what aesthetic albums to go together #I thought it would be wacky I was wrong #also for the ones that dodnt come out this year this isnt the first time I’ve listened to them I just fixated on them this year

[chappellrroan]

it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames

#preacher's daughter both family tree songs #how she says in family tree “heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before” #and western nights “i would hold the gun if you asked me to but if you love me like you say you do will you ask me to?” #the whole house in nebraska song UGH #the outro of hard times i am tired of you still tied to me bleeding whenever you want too tired to move to tired to leave #american teenager gracie's cover i love you so so so so much i do it for daddy and i do it for dale i am doing what i want DAMN i am doing #it well #ptolemaea that stop scream i am the face of love's rage blessed be the daughters of cain bound to suffering eternal through sins of their #fathers commited long before their conception that whole outro in general #i tried to be good am i no good? am i no good? am i no good?....i just wanted to be yours? am i yours? am i yours?...if i am turning in you #stomach and making you feel sick am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? is just SO AGH #also god loves you but not enough to save you I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME #we know how it goes the more it hurts the less it shows but i feel like they all know and that's why i can never come back home and i spent #my life watching it go by from the sidelines and god i have tried but i think it's about time i put up a fight #and the instrumental songs their production is so so good #anyways yeah now i feel better if anyone is reading till here go listen to it thanks <3 #it's great for people with family issues #v.txt

[deathofdolls]

PREACHER’S DAUGHTER IS HOLDING ME EXACTLY LIKE THIS

Ethel Cain could end world hunger at least 8 times with how she’s cooking through this album

LIKE HELLO??

“THE FATES ALREADY FUCKRD ME SIDEWAYS

SWINGING BY MY NECK

FROM THE FAMILY TREE

HE’LL LAUGH AND SAY 'YOU KNOW I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THUS'

THEN LEAVE ME HANGING

SO THEY ALL CAN LAUGH AT ME”

#ethel cain #preachers daughter #listening to this album feels like having my head bashed in with a boulder but instead of experiencing pain i feel relieved #i think im going slightly insane #but what else am i supposed to be doing #where else am i supposed to go #they shouldve put me down when they had the chance to tbh

[nanamimizz]

just listened to ptolemae for the first time ever. good GOD.

#lamb.talks #im going to listen to preachers daughter for the first time tonight #before you ask the reason why i haven’t listened to it before is because ik it will do something crazy to me #due to my traumatic relationship with catholicism and religion

[v333rbatim]

i don't want to be all over your mouth in a making out way. i want you to be cannibalising me. devouring me. literally.

#yes i am listening to strangers on repeat #ethel cain #preachers daughter #i am going crazy #i tried to be good am i no good #you know what i mean #ok but maybe i mean it in other ways but i do mostly mean it in the eating way #female hysteria #yearning yep #hanicore

[locallysourcedshuggy]

no one bother me tomorrow between 9-11pm that time is reserved for listening to ethel cain's preacher's daughter album(again) start to finish and sobbing abt it(again) until my lungs hurt

#my avtrice fic has got me in an emotional chokehold #beatrice my beloved #preacher's daughter #ethel cain #listen beas gonna be happy but rn shes going thru it

[dropsofs4turn]

#saturn speaks 🪐 #ethel cain #the way this song (and the whole album) has me bawling #im going down a preachers daughter rabbit hole #i cant stop listening to the album #its juat so...RAHHHGG

[enobariasteeth]

thinking about how good supernatural could’ve been if it’s original target audience wasn’t toxically masculine men and if it took itself seriously in later seasons

#think of the emotional potential #give Jensen ackles a chance to have a deeply emotional role #he gave SO much to Dean #dean is a very tragic character but imagine how much more depth we could’ve gotten #if the show didn’t pride itself on stupid ‘no chick flick moments’ #GIVE US A CHICK FLICK MKMENT #I want to see them screaming and crying and throwing up #I want to see them dealing with their trauma (healthy or not) #because we do see them do that #Dean especially (drinking gambling women) #but it’s all played off as ‘haha look at him go what a cool dude’ #instead of the potential it could’ve had #because his whole personality is 100% a coping mechanism #the only ways we see them canonically deal with their trauma is breaking stuff #which also could’ve had potential if it didn’t magically fix all their problems #sams spiral arc where he gets addicted to demon blood and starts losing himself could’ve been so good #I’ve been listening to preachers daughter so now I need everything to have devastating symbolism yk? #supernatural

[hella1975]

you not realizing sun bleached flies is 7 minutes is so real I introduced another mutual to preacher's daughter once and she was like "yeah haha some of the songs are quite long aren't they?" and I was like yeah I guess thoroughfare goes on for a bit and then I realized more recently that every song is 5 minutes minimum and I was actually shocked

ALL OF THEM???? FUCK SAKE 😭

#i thought it was just house in nebraska and thoroughfare that's why sun bleached flies caught me so off guard #this is embarassing how much of my life have i spent just listening to preacher's daughter. spotify wrapped is going to be insane #ask #ethel cain

[orbgoo]

ethel cain fanart B)

#my art #ethel cain #art #fanart #preachers daughter #crush stripped has a GRIP on my soul go listen #music