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joelsgreys · 6 days

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Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

snapshots masterlist l fic notifs

summary: You come home from your first day back out on patrol and find Joel giving your daughter a bath.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. GIRLDAD!JOEL. established relationship. this specific work does not mention reader’s age (other works in this series may mention she is younger than Joel), no physical description of reader, Rosemary comes with a slight physical description (she has Joel’s hair color/hair type and eye color, no mentions of her skin tone). brief mention of Sarah, brief mention of Joel being a single father pre outbreak, Joel and Ellie are fine because i said so and it’s what he deserves, okay? general fluff and a lot of cuteness, brief smutty themes, but nothing explicit. minimal editing.

word count: 2.3k

a/n: short little thing, but this feels like the cutest thing i have written in a while. if you enjoy it, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment <33

Joel sighs to himself as he scrapes the remnants of Rosemary’s lunch into the bin of food scraps beside the kitchen counter—the neighbor’s chickens were in for a real treat tomorrow morning when he dropped them off on his way to patrol. He had just about coaxed his two and a half year old daughter into eating the crust of her jam sandwich when Ellie walked into the kitchen with a soccer ball tucked under her arm, a trade he was fairly certain she’d made more for the toddler’s sake than her own.

She was sixteen now, spent more time with her friends than she did with her family lately, but her soft spot for the little girl always, always brought her back home.

“Hey kid, look what I’ve got,” Ellie had grinned, holding the ball out for the child to see. “What do you say we go out back and kick this thing around? Sound like fun?”

He frowned, the creases between his brows deepening.

“Ellie, can’t you see I’m in the middle of feedin’ her—”

But it had been too late.

Rosie’s dark brown eyes widened, and she squealed in delight. “Down! Down!” she had exclaimed, whacking her teeny hands down on top of her wooden high chair on either side of her plate. “Daddy! Down, want down!”

Joel decided to put his foot down.

Well, he had tried to put his foot down, anyway.

“Not ‘til you’ve finished every last bite, babygirl. Y’gotta finish your sandwich and eat all your carrots, alright?”

“M’all done,” she’d insisted, placing both hands on her belly. Although Joel would have preferred she clean her plate, you had taught him to honor her fullness cues.

“We have to listen to Rosemary,” you’d told him. “If she says she’s full, then she’s full. The last thing we want to do is force her to keep eating when she’s not hungry, Joel. Her relationship with food starts with us, after all.”

“You’re startin’ to sound like that goddamn child rearin’ book,” he had teased you, earning himself a stern glare.

He liked to give you a hard time about it, but the truth of the matter was, that parenting book you found in the library turned out to be pretty helpful for both of you—while this wasn’t Joel’s first rodeo, the last time he had been around a child this young was over three decades ago. With Sarah, he’d flown through her childhood by the seat of his pants, went through a lot more trial and error scenarios than he liked to admit.

Often, Joel found himself feeling guilty. He tried to give some credit to the clueless young man in his twenties, the one who had been left to raise his baby girl all on his own when her mom couldn’t take it anymore after one year. Things turned out alright, but whenever he sees you with Rosemary, takes in the way you pour your entire heart into being a good mother to yours and his daughter, he can’t help but reminisce on his first life, on all those moments he felt so hopeless—all of those moments when he didn’t know what to do, and had no one to turn to for help. No one to lean on.

Oh how he wished Sarah could have known what it was like to have both of her parents at her side.

Like Rosie does.

Sighing, Joel places her plate in the sink, along with his own. He turns and glances at the clock on the wall—it’s half past noon, and he knows your early morning patrol group should be arriving back to the town’s main gates any minute now. Sure, caring for Rosemary had served as a decent distraction, but every so often, his anxieties would creep up on him. He worried about you being out there on the other side of the wall. And if you being out there wasn’t bad enough, you were out there without him.

“I’m back on the patrol roster next week,” you informed him one evening while the two of you were cleaning the kitchen after supper. You winced when he dropped the plate in his hands into the sink, the loud clanking noise bouncing off the walls. You wasted no time in pleading your case. “It’s been almost three years, Joel. I have to get back to pulling my weight around here. As much as I’d love to, I can’t stay home forever, and you know that as well as I do.”

Slowly, he’d spun around to face you, the muscle in his jaw ticking—he wasn’t happy. “Find another job,” he bit through his teeth. “Somethin’ in town. Somethin’ safe.”

“Joel—”

“You’re a mother now!” he hissed, angrily.

“And you’re a father,” you’d countered without missing a beat. Knowing Joel’s reaction was only coming from a place of concern, you walked up to him and placed a hand on his heaving chest, right over his racing heart in an effort to calm him. “Look, I’m just capable of getting myself home safely as you are, alright? And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be partnered with Tommy. He’ll have my back.”

He’d found very little consolation in that.

Joel sighs again and reaches for the faucet.

“Uh, Joel?” Ellie’s voice comes from behind him.

“What?” He turns around, his jaw dropping open when he sees her standing there, carefully holding Rosemary out towards him by her underarms. She’s covered from head to toe in mud. “What the hell did you do to her?”

“You know how it was raining for like three days?” Ellie shoots him a sheepish smile. “The ball went into a mud puddle, and well, she sorta went in after it.”

“Jesus Christ, she’s filthy!” Exasperated, Joel narrows his eyes at her. “Why weren’t you watchin’ her?”

“I was, but she was too fast! Kid’s a little speed demon, man. Aren’t ya, Rosie?”

Rosie giggles and kicks her dangling feet, mud dripping off her tiny, leather oxford shoes and onto the floor with an audible splatter.

“She’s gonna be home from patrol any minute now,” he says, shaking his head. “If she sees Rosie like this, she’ll have my ass, and yours.” Carefully, he takes Rosemary from Ellie’s hands, holding her out and away from him. He jerks his chin towards the dirty floor. “Clean up this mess while I take her upstairs and give her a bath. We might just be able to get away with this.”

She gives him a thumbs up. “You got it, old man.”

“C’mon, Rosie Posie. Let’s get you all washed up before mama gets home and puts all three of us in a timeout.”

She gives him a wide, toothy smile. “Okay, daddy.”

Groaning, you shove through the front door.

You had underestimated how difficult it would be to get back in the saddle of a horse after almost three years of not being in one.

It would take some getting used to—again.

“Fuck,” you hiss, closing the door and leaning against it for support. Your knees. Your thighs. Your lower back.

There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t aching.

After taking a minute to collect yourself, you push away from the door and toe off your old, brown leather boots, leaving them there near the entryway. You call out, “I’m home!”

“Oh hey!” From seemingly out of nowhere, Ellie comes speeding down the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of you with her backpack slung over her shoulder. “Just the person I wanted to see! Mind if I head over to Dina’s for a while?”

“How long is a while, El?”

“She invited me to stay for dinner.”

You raise a knowing eyebrow at her, a smirk tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Again?”

Flushing, Ellie nods. “Yeah.”

“Did you ask Joel for permission?”

“Aw come on, man! Do I really have to ask Joel?” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “I can hear him bitching at me already.” Dropping her voice several octaves, she starts to mimic him, accent and all. “Y’been spending every fuckin’ night over there. Don’t you forget you’ve got a family, kiddo.”

Amused, you chuckle and lightly nudge her shoulder. “I have to take his side on this one, Ellie. It would be nice for the four of us to have dinner together. You know, like we used to before Dina came into the picture?”

“I’ll stay home for dinner for the rest of the week,” Ellie swears, clasping her hands together. “Please?”

Sighing in defeat, you step aside. “Alright, go ahead. I’ll hold you to your word though, alright?”

“Thank you!” she grins as she breezes past you and out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

Shrugging out of your jacket, you hang it up in the hall closet and then head upstairs. “Joel? Are you up here?” There’s no answer. You pass by Rosemary’s room first and peek inside only to find it empty. Furrowing a brow, you head a bit further down the hallway into yours and Joel’s bedroom. That’s when you hear his voice coming from the en suite bathroom.

There, you find him kneeling on the tile floor beside the tub, his back to you as he gives your daughter her bath. Hours ahead of her normal schedule, you realize.

Casually leaning against the doorframe, you cross your arms over your chest, and quietly watch them, your lips already curling into a smile.

“What’s this?” Joel asks her, holding up a yellow rubber duck. It’s almost comical how small it looks in the palm of his large hand.

“Duckie!” Rosemary answers, enthusiastically.

He nods. “S’right, honey. It’s a duckie. And what sound does a duckie make?”

Craning your neck, you catch a glimpse of her sweet little face as she stares at him, her expression a mingle of equal parts curiosity and confusion.

“C’mon now, babygirl,” Joel prompts her, handing her the toy. “Mama taught you this already, remember?”

She looks at the rubber duck and thinks, thinks, thinks.

After a minute, Rosie gasps and shouts, “Quack!”

“S’right! Good job, Rosie,” he praises. Leaning over the edge of the tub, he presses a kiss into her damp, dark brown curls. “That’s my girl. You’re so smart.”

“Quack!” Giggling, Rosie lifts her chubby arms over her head, bringing them down into the water with all of her might, splashing Joel. She does it over and over again, soaking his face and the front of his denim shirt as she chants, “Quack, quack, quack!”

“Alright, alright, alright!” Joel laughs, shaking his head. He lifts an arm, wiping at his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “S’enough, my little duck. Daddy already had his shower today.”

Grinning, you saunter up behind him, and with a bit of protest from your back, you bend over to kiss the top of his head. You say in jest, “Without me?”

“Mama!” Rosie cries happily, reaching for you.

“Hi baby, I missed you!” Leaning down further, you kiss her cheek, the soothing, calming scent of her lavender soap invading your senses. Drawing yourself back up to full height, you glance down at Joel with suspicion. “Is there any particular reason you’re giving her a bath so early today?”

You can tell he’s contemplating lying to you. That is, until your eyes flicker over to her muddy clothes, which lie in a heap next to the hamper.

He’d forgotten to get rid of the evidence.

“Joel? What happened to my child?”

“We, uh, we had a little problem earlier this afternoon,” Joel explains, his ears burning red. “She was out in the backyard playin' with Ellie and she got into one of the mud puddles.”

“Rosemary Miller!” you playfully scold her. Placing your hands on your hips, you ask,“Is that true, young lady? Did you get into a mud puddle?”

Rosie beams. “Yeah!”

Rolling your eyes, you laugh and shake your head. “You silly girl.”

“Thought you’d be mad, darlin’,” Joel admits, peering up at you in relief.

“Joel, all that I ask when I leave her alone with you and Ellie is that I come home and she’s still in one piece,” you tease him.

Dipping his hand into the water, Joel splashes you, and of course, Rosemary decides to follow his lead and she does the same, bursting into another fit of giggles.

“Get her, Rosie, get her!” he encourages her.

“Hey!” You jump backwards, almost tripping over your own feet. “Cut it out! You’re getting water everywhere!”

About an hour later, once both Rosie and the bathroom floor are dry, Joel puts her down for her long overdue afternoon nap. He heads back into the bedroom where you’re digging in a drawer for a pair of clean leggings and a sweatshirt. He comes up behind you, his arms snaking around your waist as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. He inhales deeply.

“Ew, Joel, stop it! I’m all filthy,” you say, wiggling to get away from him.

Joel holds you tighter. “Mm, I love it when you’re filthy, baby,” he smirks. “C’mon. She’s out for at least an hour. We’ve got some time to ourselves.”

“I’m so sore,” you whine. “From riding a horse all day.”

His lips find the shell of your ear and he whispers, “Too sore to ride me, darlin’?”

Biting back a tiny whimper, your head falls back onto his shoulder as wet heat pools between your thighs. He lightly nips at your pulse point, his teeth scraping your tender, delicate flesh.

“Jesus,” you breathe when he presses into you. You feel him against the small of your back—he’s already hard. “Can you at least let me bathe first?”

Joel hums. “I’ve got a better idea, baby.” Spinning you around, he reaches for the buttons of your shirt. “How’s about we save some water and shower together?”

“Thought you already had a shower today,” you remind him of what he’d said earlier.

He pushes your shirt off your shoulders and licks his lips. “I’m sure as hell up for another one.”

divider credit to @/saradika 🩵

#fic: snapshots #girldad!joel #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller drabble #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

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ellies-enrichment · 1 year

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joel actually wouldn’t have survived two stubborn & sarcastic women he would have been eaten alive

#as all girldads should be #the last of us #hbo the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #hbo tlou #memes #mine #if i ever were to lose queue #tess tlou #anna torv

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cowgurrrl · 1 year

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What Sarah Said

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: Listen, I don’t normally write babies into a happy ending but I needed this (PS I love this picture of Nico and Pedro)

Summary: “And when I turned to face grief, I saw that it was just love in a heavy coat.” - Shannon Berry aka you and Joel talk about having more kids (kind of a part two to Sweet Jane) [1.7k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, talks of child loss (reader has lost a child), talks of pregnancy, grief, lmk if I missed anything!

You blame Maria. Of course, her well-meaning questions and Camille, ever the adorable toddler, got in your head. It started when Maria told you about her son and, in return, you told her about Jane. She started asking if you and Joel ever talked about having kids or even if you had a plan for if you did get pregnant within the QZ. You always had a plan in mind, even before you started with Joel, but you never talked about it as a couple. Then, she told you about how great her labor and delivery team was when she gave birth to Camille and how they have the equipment to care for anything wrong.

That's when she really started pushing it by talking about schools, work schedules, and even play dates. "I know Camille would love to have a little cousin around," she said. It felt foreign and wrong to be talking about having another kid. You think it would feel that way even if Jane were alive, but her absence doesn't make this any easier. She backed off when you asked her to, but she still got into your head. A million different thoughts have been floating around since you saw her earlier. Maybe that's why you ambush Joel with the question before he can even take his boots off.

"Do you think you'd ever want to have another kid?" You ask as he sits next to you on the couch. Ellie went to bed an hour ago, and you figured now was as good a time as any. You could've approached it gentler, especially since he was on patrol all day. Joel immediately sits straight up and gives you a worried look.

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No," you think for a moment, doing mental math to ensure. He waits, the anxiety rolling off of him. "No. No, I'm not. Maria just said something when I was over there that made me think." He sighs and buries his head in his hands. You laugh a little at his reaction and put a soothing hand on his back, the muscles relaxing under your touch. He takes a couple of deep breaths before taking his head out of his hands to look at you.

"Yeah, Tommy said something, too."

"What did Tommy say?" You ask.

"He said something about Maria's doctors and then asked if we had talked about having kids," he says, and you scoff. "What did Maria say?"

"Pretty much the same thing. Even brought up how great the schools here are."

"Sounds like we got set up," He says, and you hum in agreement. "What do you think?"

"I don't know. I mean, this was never a possibility for us before. We never talked about it, even before we left Boston. What do you think?"

"I'm not the one who'd be carryin' a baby for nine months, so I don't think it should be my decision."

"Your feminist thought is always appreciated, but that doesn't help." You say, and he falls quiet. You know to wait him out, to let him sort through his thoughts in silence before he speaks. He glances at his broken watch, searching for pieces of her in the shattered glass, before looking at you again.

"Sarah always talked about how much she wanted a little brother or sister, but… I don't know. I was always happy with just her."

"Jane used to say the same thing. But, my pregnancy with her was so brutal, and it may have been because I was so young when I had her, or something went wrong. I never thought I'd do it again," you say. "There's also Ellie to think about. It'd be a big adjustment for her. She already gets anxious if one of us has a cold, let alone growing a human. There's a lot that could go wrong."

After that, you go back and forth, listing all the ways having a baby would alter your life. You wouldn't be able to go on patrol with him anymore. You'd need medicine and vitamins. All the attention would go to the new baby, and Ellie could start feeling left behind. She just got into a normal routine where she goes to a normal school and does what kids her age should do. You can't fuck that up for her. It'd be scary, emotional, and painful, and that's just the pregnancy. Having a toddler was terrifying enough before the world went to shit. How do you keep a kid that small safe in a world so big? It's obviously possible. Camille and the other kids around the commune are evidence enough.

Even as you go through everything that could go wrong, the idea of Joel being a dad again makes something deep within you soften. He's always been so gentle and natural with Camille, even though it's been decades since he's dealt with a kid that small. He sits at the kitchen table every night to help Ellie with her homework, walking her through math problems like it's second nature, even though you can tell he doesn't understand either. He packs her lunch, walks her to school, and doesn't even blink when she walks down wearing one of his shirts. Domesticity looks good on Joel Miller. He's all relaxed shoulders and big smiles. The nightmares still linger in the shadows of both of your minds, but they're manageable.

That's what so much of your lives have been—manageable. "It sucks, but we'll manage" was your motto for much of your life before Ellie and Joel. You said it to Jane more often than not as a reminder that things could be better, but you were also trying really hard to make life easy for her. You said it to Joel when you started doing drops together. Then, you said it to Ellie when trying to get across the country with her. But now, possibly for the first time ever, it feels like you're doing much more than managing. The thought wiggles through your brain until it sits front and center, a bright, shining "Maybe."

"What?" He asks, breaking you out of your reverie. You shake your head, but he nudges you with his leg.

"It's stupid."

"Humor me."

"I just imagined a little you running around. That's all." You say, and he smiles. It's giddy and touches the corners of his eyes. You have to look away before you get sucked in.

"I thought we were just talking about all the reasons not to have a baby."

"We were. It was just… quick. Something fun to think about."

"Tell me about it," He urges, moving closer to you. You sigh as you reach out and push the hair out of his eyes. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl. We both had girls, so I think it'd be a long shot if we had a boy."

"What were you imaginin’?"

"I imagined a little girl with big curls and your nose running around with Ellie. Playing in the snow and learning how to ride horses and driving us fucking crazy. She'd be a troublemaker, and Ellie would love her for it," you say, his smile only getting brighter as you talk. "I'd go out on patrol, and you'd stay home with our girls because even though you're big and scary, you secretly love playing stupid games with them. You'd sing songs to the baby because she couldn't sleep without them, and you'd spoil her half to death. Ellie'd read the baby books about space, and when I come home, we’d cook dinner together and eat as a family, and we’d live an ordinary, unremarkable life in Jackson."

"Ordinary is good. I could live with ordinary."

"It's a nice thought."

"Yeah," Joel says, nodding. You feel like crying, but you're not sure why. How could you cry over something that's not even real?

"Is it bad that I want all that again?" You ask quietly, like you're afraid if you say it too loud, the universe will take everything away from you. Joel's jaw works as he thinks before he grabs your hand.

"No, it's not because I want it, too." He says. You take a deep breath and nod, looking down at your joined hands.

"What do you think our girls would have to say about all this?"

"I think they'd be jumping up and down and screaming about how excited they'd be," he says. "I think they're doing that wherever they are."

"Me too," you say. Something heavy and dark and familiar weighs down that golden ball of hope still sitting in your chest. It aches as nothing else does, pulling the breath from you swiftly and mercilessly. Like a bomb leveling an entire block and everyone there. Like a stray gunshot hitting the wrong person. Like celebrating a birthday every year but never watching your child grow. "I wish they were here." You admit. Joel brings your hand to his lips and kisses it. His watery eyes match yours.

"Me too." He says. There's an unspoken addition to his sentence. Something about how they are still here because they were a part of each of you, perhaps your best parts, and they live on in you. You keep living because of that and because they loved you and wanted you to live even if they couldn't be around to see it. That might be the only solace when you lose a child.

"Are we crazy?"

"Maybe."

"Are we gonna try to have a baby?" You ask, and a smile overtakes his features.

"I thought that's what our whole conversation was just about." He says, and you roll your eyes before climbing onto his lap. It's a position you've been in far too many times, and you justify it by getting to be close to him, but really he's just pretty to look at sometimes. His hands rest on your waist as you settle, both of you still smiling like idiots.

"I want to hear you say it."

"Mrs. Miller," he starts. "I want to have a baby with you because I love you, and I want a million little yous running around our house." He punctuates his sentence by leaning into you and kissing your neck.

"A million?" You ask, tangling your hands in his hair. He hums against your skin.

"A million."

"Can we compromise for one?"

"I can be persuaded."

🍓

taglist: @evyiione @nyotamalfoy @abbyhaslongshorts

#the last of us #joel and ellie #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us x reader #joel tlou #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fluff #he’s so girldad your honor #domestic joel miller #he’s so soft #look for the light

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bobnewbie · 1 year

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two steppin to some cocomelon while mama is stuck at work 💃🏾

#these two really are my whole heart #joel is very much a girldad #mousa legacy #the sims 4 #the sims 4 legacy #ts4 #ts4 legacy #the sims 4 gameplay #ts4 gameplay

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truefangirlheart · 1 year

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if Joel Miller somehow had another kid in Jackson, that child would definitely be a daughter because that man is a girldad and a girldad only

#the last of us #he wouldn't even know how to talk to a child of male species #tlou #hbo max #hbo #joel miller #troy baker #pedro pascal #ashley johnson #ellie williams #sarah miller #bella ramsey #girldad #mine

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stonerwitch · 5 months

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me: *sees a grumpy old man character who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and absolutely despises himself* oh my baby 🥺

#i started watching broadchurch last night #alec hardy #my beloved #but also #joel miller #also helps if they’re a girldad #david tennant #pedro pascal

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darlingjmiller · 11 months

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i must really love causing myself pain bc i’ve been watching the -sarah giving joel his present- scene on repeat its making me crazy

the goofy grin he has when he says ‘you got me a present?’, the face he makes when he sees the box, the way he looks at her with such love in his eyes, the ‘i’m sorry’ and soft ‘thankyou’ when she says he wouldn’t have done it for himself.. it all hits me so hard because that’s what a healthy father-daughter bond looks like and i want that, i love them so much, joel miller deserves to be a girldad forever

#elle sad hours #the last of us #joel miller #sarah miller #girldad joel miller #soft joel miller #tlou hbo

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steeb-stn · 1 year

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The last of us has got me craving mushy fluffy gen-fic with joel and ellie becoming father and daughter. Where he calls her things like baby, the way he used to call sarah. Where is the fic, the art, the headcanons, anything, i am dying of thirst in the desert

#Tlou #the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #pedro pascal #listen there is so much freakin mandalorian fanart with this man and a green puppet #Surely yall can get on the girldad!pedro train

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corpsesoldier · 1 year

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I don't find ellie's motivations during tlou2 that opaque tbh. like yeah the revenge quest drags and you're exhausted at the end of it and tired of witnessing the bloodshed. I'm pretty sure that's the reaction the game is trying to draw out of you (I died during the confrontation on the beach because I didn’t want to choke abby so I stopped mashing buttons lmao). but ellie's determination to see it through is, I think, another expression of her survivor's guilt.

I think ellie is, fundamentally, someone who is living in the blank pages past the end of her story. riley gets bitten and ellie doesn't die. tess gets bitten, sam gets bitten, and ellie doesn't die. she thinks she has a chance to create a world where that won't happen anymore, to anyone, but joel saves her and she doesn't die. she's left to navigate the aftermath with no sense of purpose. she's just supposed to keep going, and she's doesn't know how.

and then joel is killed in front of her and ellie doesn't die. again. everyone I've cared for has either died or left me. everyone fucking except for you. ellie struggles with what joel did to and for her, and ellie is allowed to leave him, because she knows joel won't ever leave her. she thought she had time to come back to him. to figure out all that out. she hadn't forgiven joel yet, but she wanted to try. and then suddenly all that possibility is gone.

I think the revenge quest is partly a way for ellie to align herself with joel posthumously. now that she doesn’t have the option to heal and grow her relationship with the living joel, she engages instead with his legacy. we know the kind of man joel is (was?), and so does ellie—violent, vengeful, often selfish. the kind of man that regards the necessity of violence with equanimity. in joel's absence, ellie molds herself in his image. this is what joel would do, she thinks. if it had been me, she thinks.

and that's to say nothing of the sunk cost of killing more and more of abby's friends on her quest to find abby herself. once you've hunted down one, two, three people who pose you no threat, once you've tortured someone, once you've killed a pregnant woman, what does that make you if you stop now? what does it mean if you decide you don't need to kill abby after all? if abby's death is not absolutely necessary, then what of the violence leading up to it, and the person executing said violence? even if ellie felt early in her revenge that she wanted to stop, that it wasn't worth it, she wasn't ready to confront the reality of what she had done. framing her revenge as necessary let her pretend she was the hero a little longer.

and I think part of the reason she persists as long as she does is because of her lack of purpose, and, frankly, her desire to die. again, fundamentally, ellie lives. even when she doesn't want to. even when she doesn't believe she deserves to. she can't save riley, she can't save the world, she can't even save joel who, regardless of the tenor of their relationship at the time, is a foundational pillar of ellie's life. so what can she do? maybe this one last thing. ellie's own life, her own happiness, isn't important. it was her death that was supposed to be important, but she woke up and it had passed her by. now she's got a cosmic debt she can never repay. I don’t think she expects to come back from seattle, but she also can’t stand to let down someone she cares about again, even if it's only their ghost. what’s her life in the blank endpapers worth compared to another failure?

and ultimately she lets abby go. because she sees lev. she sees abby turn away from her entirely because her boy needs her. and because ellie remembers joel as he was after the bloodshed, the kind of man he was trying so hard to be for her. there's something there about what we leave our children. something about the kind of person you become to protect them, and about the kind of person they really need, and where those modes diverge. what kind of father is abby? what kind of father does ellie want to be? joel at the end of tlou, bloodied, lying to her? or joel standing on his porch in jackson, waiting for when she's ready to come back?

#I don't tend to go here but I've seen this sentiment mixed in with some tlou criticism that ellie's actions in 2 don't make sense #and I don't agree #if you think that its fine obvs idc some things don't work for some people #but I think the way tlou2 inspects joel's legacy by focusing it through abby and ellie is rly interesting #tlou is about fatherhood its just some of the dads are girls. girldads if you will.#how do you forgive your father? how do you repay him?#how do you let him go because you know your child needs a different kind of father?#how do you give them a different world than the one you had to live through?#anyway. this isn't a thrown gauntlet I swear I just had thoughts I wanted to articulate about where I think ellie is for a lot of the game #tlou2 is divisive etc etc I know but I liked it #had some thoughts about it #back to your regularly scheduled necromancers #did a readmore because this got longer than I anticipated #don't want to blow up anyone's dash I know this isnt what I usually post about sdjgfsd #tlou

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joelsgreys · 4 months

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snapshots | masterlist

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: Moments of Joel Miller’s life in Jackson, Wyoming with his girls. warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. GIRLDAD!JOEL. established relationship. NO MENTION OF READER’S AGE, she is a childbearing adult woman so do what you will with that information, however at one point it will be vaguely mentioned that she is younger than Joel. no physical description of reader. slight physical description of Rosemary (she has Joel’s hair color and type as well as his eye color). Joel and Ellie are fine because i said so. angst, fluff, some individual works centered around Joel and reader may also contain smut. please see individual fics for warnings and tags. *MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY. a/n: i fell in love with this little family and would love to write more for them when the inspiration strikes, so i decided to just go ahead and make a masterlist for them. i have no specific plan, the drabbles and one shots will most likely not be in order. i may bounce around the timeline and even go as far back as to when joel and reader find out they’re going to have a kid. to those of you who have shown this universe some love, thank you! 🤍

flutter

When you finally start to show, Joel has a tough time with it as the reality sinks in—he’s going to be a father again.

softness

Joel’s a little unsure of doing skin to skin with his newborn daughter.

safe and sound

Your daughter has a nightmare—her daddy makes it all better.

splash

You come home from your first day back out on patrol and find Joel giving your daughter a bath.

divider credit to @saradika 🤎

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #ellie williams x platonic!reader #fic: snapshots #girldad! joel

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cowgurrrl · 1 year

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Sweet Creature

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: holy shit thank you for your ideas this is my favorite. also i put it in the tags of darlin’ i’d wait for you BUT there is a beautiful easter egg in the baby’s first and middle name and the first person to tell me what it is gets a kiss on the mouth

Summary: “Helping one another is part of the religion of our sisterhood.” - Jo March, Little Women aka Ellie rescues you and Joel [1.3k]

Warnings: newborn DRAMA, post-partum anxiety if you squint, Joel being a softie for his daughters

"C'mon, Charlie girl, you've gotta help us out." You mumble as you bounce your crying baby around the room. It's been an hour of her crying nonstop, and you've tried everything. Nursing, changing her diaper, changing her clothes, burping, changing the room's temperature, and playing music. You even went as far as to check her for any injuries that you may have missed. You're not sure what kind of trouble your one-week-old could've gotten into to warrant an injury, but you're exhausted, and it seemed to make sense.

Joel woke up with her first, as he has done every night since you gave birth, so you had the chance to get some rest. Recovery has been rough for you, and he's already doing so much for you. He and Ellie barely let you get out of bed most days because they want to ensure you take the time to heal. Even though the thought is nice, you wake up and listen when Joel gets up with her every time. It's not that you don't trust him. It's that you're already the world's lightest sleeper, and Joel is deaf in one ear and is rarely aware of just how loud he is. You also don't mind secretly watching as he lays her on his bare chest in the low light of your room, singing to her or explaining what he's doing for her to engage her little brain. He's caught you staring at least twice since she's come home.

But tonight was different. She woke up crying and was pretty much inconsolable until Joel brought her over to you. She nursed for a minute or two before wrenching away from you and screaming. Since then, you and Joel have been taking turns trying to get her to go back to sleep. It's hard having a newborn with two capable parents. You have no idea how you had a baby as a single mom.

"D'you wanna try to feed her again?" Joel asks as he stands next to you, disheveled and overwhelmed but trying his best to comfort the both of you.

"I don't know," you shake your head, your throat starting to feel like sandpaper. You were always the more emotional person in your relationship, but postpartum emotions are nothing compared to your regular ones. "I don't know what's wrong." You cry. Joel touches your back and makes a sympathetic noise as tears fall down your face.

"Let me take her for a little bit so you can sit down, okay?" He suggests as he carefully takes Charlie from you. She chuffs at the transition before going right back to screaming her head off. You sit on the edge of the bed and watch as he holds her like a football and hums what sounds like Hank Williams to her. You'd be surprised if she could even hear him over her own crying, and you take a deep breath, racking your brain for what could be wrong.

"What are you doing to her?" Ellie asks as she walks into the room, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She's wearing one of Joel's shirts and hand-me-down shorts from Maria, and her hair is as messy as Joel's. If you weren't still crying, you think you'd probably laugh.

"She's just a little fussy. You can go back to bed." Joel says, but she shakes her head and walks over to where he's standing with Charlie.

"What's going on, bug? Huh?" She asks, crouching to look at Charlie's tired, sad eyes. She may have your eye shape, but she got those heartbreaking brown eyes from Joel. When she cries like this, they look like the saddest puppy dog eyes in the world. "D'you want me to try?" Ellie asks, and Joel shoots you a look.

You've been very intentional about not putting too much pressure on Ellie to help with the baby. She's sixteen, and she shouldn't have to be burdened with that if she doesn't have to be. You told her she could help as much or as little as she wanted, but she took it upon herself to help more often than not. You just didn't want her to wake up for midnight cry sessions or feel like she had to be put in a parenting position. She's still a kid.

"It's worth a shot," Joel says, and you shrug, way too tired to argue with him. He carefully passes Charlie to Ellie, who cradles her close and pushes her hair out of her face. Joel stays nearby in case she decides to hand the baby off, but he doesn't intrude on their moment.

"Hey, it's alright. You let it all out," Ellie says as she sways. Her fingers muss Charlie's hair, and she's quieting down. Not a lot, but enough to see it as crying instead of blood-curdling screaming. "I've got you, sweet girl." Ellie's hand moves to her chest, gently scratching and rubbing little circles into Charlie's onesie, and like magic, she stops crying. She turns her little head toward Ellie and yawns big and long like we kept her up. You sigh in relief and tip your head up to the ceiling as silence fills the room. Your ears are still ringing, and your body hurts, but it's quiet.

It would be easy to claim that Charlie calmed down because Ellie's wearing one of Joel's worn shirts or that she just finally hit a wall and fell asleep, but you like to think she was just missing her sister. Joel looks between Ellie and Charlie in disbelief, mumbling "shit" under his breath. "What can I say? She loves me." She shrugs, and you quietly laugh as she walks over to the rocking chair in the corner and curls up with Charlie. She snags the yellow blanket one of the older women in town knitted for you off the back of the chair and drapes it around them. You would think they've known each other for centuries.

Joel is still standing in the middle of the room, his curls a mess on top of his head, as his sleep-deprived brain tries to piece together what happened. He scratches at his stubbly jaw and shakes his head as he thinks. "You don't have to stay up with her. I can put her back in the crib." Joel offers, and you watch her hold on Charlie get a little tighter.

"It's gonna take me a long time to fall asleep. You guys should get some rest. I've got her," Ellie says, a smile pulling at her lips. "Besides, I like hanging out with her." You would cry again if you had the energy, but you don't. Instead, you crawl back into bed and get comfortable. Joel looks to you for confirmation, always looking for your approval as the mother of his child before making any decisions, but you're already half-asleep again.

"If she's volunteering, I'm not gonna stop her," you mumble into your pillow. "Just don't fall asleep."

"Sir, yes, sir," Ellie says. They may have stayed up talking. You're not sure, but when you wake up, Ellie is between you and Joel in bed, and Charlie is in her crib. She's tucked under the arm Joel is using to hold your waist as he sleeps, and her hand is on his chest. He's snoring lightly as he holds you both, perfectly content to cuddle with his girls in bed. You smile and kiss each of their heads before falling asleep again.

You vaguely remember fearing how the new baby would affect Joel and Ellie's relationship and worrying if Ellie and the baby would get along. You don't know exactly why Charlie was crying last night or why she calmed down so fast once Ellie had her, and you don't need to.

Sometimes a girl just needs her sister.

Sometimes a father just needs to baby his sixteen-year-old a little longer.

🍓

taglist: @evyiione @nyotamalfoy @abbyhaslongshorts

#look for the light #the last of us #joel and ellie #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #the last of us x reader #joel tlou #ellie williams #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #ellie williams fluff #dad!joel miller #he’s so girldad your honor

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backhurtyy · 1 year

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wait wait wait tlou au where joel and tess get to robert after marlene has already left with ellie and the remaining fireflies, and so they head back to their apartment to figure out what to do. while they’re there, the radio turns on— never let me down again. 80’s. bill and frank are in trouble (dead, but they don’t know this yet). they pack up their stuff, and start making their way to their town to figure out what’s going on.

everything goes smoothly for the most part, but they reach the city and realize they have to go to the museum. with a sigh, they head that way. it’s as they’re getting closer that they hear it: gunfire and the screeching of clickers. joel and tess don’t even speak a word before they’re bursting through the door. they find ellie, marlene, and the fireflies fighting like hell, but it’s not going too well. marlene is injured from the fight with robert, ellie is unarmed, and the other fireflies aren’t in much better shape.

joel and tess take care of the clickers, and joel is itching to go and get to bill and frank, but tess is curious about just what marlene is up to, so she starts asking questions. who’s the girl. where are you going. how are you going to get her there if you’re bleeding out. that sort of thing.

and marlene— she doesn’t want to give answers. she doesn’t want to tell these two smugglers what’s going on. but she’s in a bad shape, she just lost multiple members of her team, and she knows she can’t get ellie where they’re going alone. but joel and tess… they can. so she says if they can get them to the statehouse, she’ll give them a car. supplies. whatever they need.

tess shrugs and convinces joel— it’s not that out of their way, and they could use the car to continue on to wyoming to find tommy after getting the girl where she needs to be. so they go, the four of them and what remains of marlene’s crew. anyways, something happens at the statehouse— maybe marlene gets infected, or she stays behind to fight the hoard, or whatever. but suddenly marlene cant go on, and joel and tess have to leave, and ellie has no choice but to follow them.

and then things go from there.

#i love the idea of joel and tess just like… leaving the statehouse and ellie being like HEY WHAT THE FUCK???#and just sort of following them. and joel and tess are like …why are you following us #and ellie’s like well uh there’s fucking death the way we came and i don’t know where i’m going if i go forward. so you’re my only option #and they try to ignore her at first but she’s persistent and kinda charming and sorta hilarious #and tess gives in first of course. but after tess gives in… well. joel wouldn’t be that far behind now would he #anyways this is my new world that i’ll spinning around in my head!!!#and tess lives. btw.#and gets to see joel in his ultimate form: girldad.#tlou #the last of us #nellie.txt

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