I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business.
I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art.
Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in.
Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
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I have something to say
Isa is unironically the funniest character in KH3.
This bitch just casually shows up on the clock tower in Twilight Town (right before the Keyblade War, mind you), takes one of Axel's ice creams, mocks him, then leaves. The fucking audacity™️
And then this bitch still mocks him after he loses the fight AND has the nerve to be witty before he disappears
His pettiness knows no bounds.
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Art sending, take two! I had a whole heartfelt comment here man.... about hwo mcuh I love the fic "See a Friend, Or a Ghost" and Loop realizing that they don't know hwo to read Isabeau. But. augh.
Anyways! comic-ified part of the fic teehee. Hope you enjoy :3c
YAY IT SENT THIS TIME!!!!!
ALSO. OKAY. CRIES?????/ OH MY GOD??????? HOLY SHIT CLOUD???? OH MY GOD?
I ABSOLUTELY ENJOY. OH MY GOD????????
genuinely and truly sorry i dont have anything more insightful to say but im just sitting here staring at this because i am so incredibly and wildly like???? so in awe of this???? that youd make a comic about something i wrote???? i also REALLY enjoy how you did the speech bubbles. paneling and speech bubbles are both so foreign to me since i so rarely do comics, so its always really cool to see someone who gets it more than me do it.
head in handdddds (slash positive). thank you so much?
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I AM BACK because now im imagining what ring pantalone would propose to reader with!? first dottore, now pantalone’s turn hehe. anyways of courseeeee its extravagant. like your average snezhnayan citizen could buy two or three HOUSES based on how much your ring costs. and hes so silly too because it’s literally intentional. he wants news of your engagement to him to be the talk of the town! like im just imagining the two of you attending a gala for the first time after your engagement, he’s unfortunately stuck in a conversation with a few of his business partners so you’re talking to another guest very animatedly with your hands and then suddenly their eyes just POP open because they’ve finally noticed the RING on your RING FINGER. as more people start to swarm you, they start asking you, isn’t it heavy? where did he propose? were you surprised? was it romantic? all to which you laugh off, completely unaware of your fiancé (😍) approaching you from behind, the BIGGEST smirk on his face as he puts a warm hand on your waist, guiding you to wrap your arms around him as he addresses the group, asking if he can “steal my (fiancée/fiancé) back for a moment?” the sound of his voice comforting as you lean against him before he’s leading you away with you in a fit of giggles trailing behind him.
turns out he just wanted to kiss you silly in an empty corridor away from the crowd.
(and after the party he’s helping you take off your accessories, be it the ones in your hair, around your wrist, or around your neck, the piece of jewelry that won’t leave your body is the ring on your finger, the ring he leans down to press a kiss against 🥺)
ANYWAYS THIS WENT ON SO LONG. BUT I HOPE YOU LOVE. 🫶🏻 hope ur having an amazing day!!
YESSS AHHHDBHEBDHDBE I LOVE THIS SM. Help I literally laughed when you described the price of the ring, cuz that's literally so true 😭 I don't know the house prices in Snezhnaya but honestly it might even be MORE than that, we know Pantalone doesn't care about the price tag when it comes to you, it's invisible 🤞 And omg yes he LOVES showing you off like he wants everyone to know that you're his, not just in looks but also legally now 💖
Gosh you and Pantalone at the gala 😫 The first time he brought you to one of these fancy social events everyone was like ?? Who is this? Because for all of Pantalone's good looks and popularity, he always declines any and all of his romantic pursuers... so for him to bring someone of his own accord is huge. And now no one could have predicted it'll come to this... his soon-to-be spouse 🫶
Thankfully at this point you've learned how to make good conversation with the numerous other people here since your lover tends to be wrapped up in business. (Sometimes your conversation partner brings up how great you are to Pantalone and he has to prevent himself from smiling too hard, because like damn that's his partner.) PLEASE I can just imagine the comical reaction of the average Snezhnayan noble/businessperson having an internal crisis and jaw-dropping expression when they lay eyes on your ring... like damn they're literally sweating bullets now because their life fortune isn't even worth a tiny fraction of that ring
You didn't even mean to make it that big of a deal but suddenly you have a whole crowd of people surrounding you absolutely fawning over your ring! There's even some paparazzi here?? And somehow everyone is so interested in your love life with Pantalone?? You can't blame them though, the idea of a Harbinger getting married is almost unheard of since they always tend to be scary as hell. Not to mention he's so extremely handsome. 😭
Everyone quiets down when your fiancé (😍) seemingly pops out of nowhere and protectively wraps his arms around you in front of everyone 😭. You know from the smirk on his face HE HAS NO SHAME and you only confirm that more when he boldly states that you're his soon-to-be spouse as if it's common knowledge!! He's doing this on purpose and honestly, you're here for it. As soon as you are out of earshot the gossiping and murmurs start up again and y'all are the only thing people are talking about at the gala for the whole evening 😭
I can imagine Pantalone pulling you away for a few minutes in private every ball simply to kiss you because he needs a break from all of these people (and he is totally not jealous at how some of the guests are getting so close to you... you have to reassure him that he's the only one who gets to see you like this)
Ugh Pantalone helping you undress and relax after all of that 🫶 All of the exhaustion suddenly caught up to you, you can just lay back on his chest and he very perfectly massages the stress and tension out of you, whispering about how perfect and lovely you are 🫶 AND THE RING KISS IS SO TENDER 😫😫🤞
After that little stunt, he makes sure to have a few professional photoshoots with you and him... which are displayed in the Snezhnayan newspaper on the front page... and now everyone is talking about how the ninth Harbinger is finally tying the knot with you!! He knows how to get people talking lol. Let's just say the wedding is the biggest one Snezhnaya has ever seen 🤭🤭
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