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youngbradford · 3 years

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On octogenarians, houses as metaphors, and doing it out of love

At the Union Square Cafe, in 2006, I first met Alan Heller. I had just moved back to NYC and Alan was courting my then fiance Benjamin Dixon to come work for him. With Alan's wife Barbara, the four of us laughed and indulged at NYC’s top restaurant. It was indulgent, fun, and prophetic.

Ben had known Alan from Design Within Reach, as Ben had been the brand’s controller during their IPO era, a time when design seemed on the brink of mass appeal, when this idea of being a design brand could be mainstream. Huge, even.

Ben did not take the job with Alan, but I kind of did. Not officially. But I did befriend Alan as I enrolled at Parsons, a New School branch, at which Alan graduated in the 1960s. This time in my life, I became the top seller at DWR, while I went to school part time, under the influence and guidance of Sandra Hansel. Ben moved on to banking. I immersed myself in design.

A lot happened in those years around 2009. It was explosive! First, I met Georgi Balinov, which disrupted a lot and altered my course. And then came the professional combustion. Jason Goldberg called me and asked me if I wanted to found a tech company. At Eisenbergs, during this time with Alan, and on the phone, with Sandra (and Eric Lee, Eric Riley, Peg Kendall), I made peace with change in my personal and professional life. I embraced it.

During this time, I remember eating a reuben with Alan and I told him about my dream of Fab.com. It was going to be a place where people who loved design and color and other people would shop, where design was inclusive, and sometimes fun. Where it was actually within reach. And joyous.

He said do it.

Later, he told me that Milton Glaser would love the idea of Fab and that he was so happy I wanted to make design accessible, affordable, and fun (which he too had done). With tuna, hanging from my lips, in a diner, crowded with pearlized plastic tumblers of Coke, and plates of pickles, Alan scribbled Milton’s phone number on a napkin. I was stunned. This was how Alan rolled.

Hours later, at the Fab(ulis) offices, I summoned the courage to call Milton. A receptionist fielded the call, which was fine, I was calling as a friend of Alan Heller’s. Milton took the call, obviously.

The rest is history. It was a turning point in my life.

I visited Milton that afternoon on the east side of Manhattan. We talked of “I Heart NY,” New York Magazine, and life in general in his studio basement. He, like Alan, and Sandra, saw something and believed in me. He said, for the first time, he wanted to sell these works online.

A month later Fab.com launched. We sold $1Million in our first 20 days and Milton was featured on the day of our launch. Many years later, I would meet Milton. We sold and created more items together, and he welcomed me back to his studio when I dreamt up Bezar. It was like being in the company of kings those days. He embraced me as a peer in his 80s.

Milton died in June of 2020 at 91 and I was punched in the gut, left with relics of our partnership, signed, in rainbow pencil, posters and prints to Georgi and I. Alan, around this time, took a turn for the worst too health-wise.

We’d meet, he’d be slower. He’d watch what he ate (I kept eating too much tuna salad). We communicated via email a lot. He was a big eBay fan, admired Casper, and we had fun poking at specific design retailers, certainly not within reach. He always asked about Georgi (he did attend our wedding, the oldest, yet one of the kindest, attendees), and Sandra, who we all knew via that design retailer. He always asked who he should hire and was obsessed with innovation. He sent silly jokes. With Jae Hah, sometimes, and alone with others, I’d venture to the UES, where we’d dine in Breuer Buildings or holes in the wall. He was far less mobile. Yet, moving fast in his head.

A few weeks back, I emailed Alan, as we always did, on or off, for the past 15 years. This time, I wanted gray Gehry cubes for my pool area. I have outfitted the Pool Bar with Vignelli Hellerware and I had inherited a few Gehry cubes from the previous owner of Rode Barns, but in blue and white they did not match my black-tonal palette. Alan responded quickly, he would take care of it.

Then silence. I emailed again. Again. Again. And I knew what was happening. At dinner I told Sandra I was worried something had happened to Alan. Then I got the note from Barbara, Alan’s companion, who had been there in 2006 at the Union Square Cafe: Alan was in his final days. I told her to tell him what he meant to me, believing in me, a person who gave me a big break. She replied “Just read your beautiful email to him. He smiled and said ‘tell him I did it out of love.’” Alan died a week later. He was 81.

A week after that, at the Gramercy Tavern, another Danny Meyer haunt, I met up with two women, both recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Both I worked with at the retailer Alan and I often lambasted at Eisenbergs. And both were doing this cancer thing, their way. One, I am especially close to, the other, I know less, but admire greatly. And it was she who dropped the wisdom of the evening. Over Sichuan Slushies, she told us of how she’s handling cancer. She painted a picture. Her life is like a house, as she drew a square in the air with her hands. “Some people are always inside.” “Some are in the yard, some, sometimes, have the key to the gate, some are on the outside.” It was her way of sectioning off the sympathy she’s receiving, who she wanted to engage with, verses who were engaging with her to actually make themselves feel heard. It was a wise observation I thought, one that provided space and protection to manage life and it’s curve balls, her way. It stayed with me even after she left.

Today, at a gay restaurant in Rehoboth, my mother Peggy and I discussed her mother, my friends, and life in general. I told her the story of my friends’ cancer, about the house metaphor, and other recent observations I’ve found profound. Last month, Jesse Cozart told me people have two choices, to be interested in people or be interesting to people. Some people have both! No one has the luxury to be neither. A week later, Mark Silver told me he wanted to be around people who made him feel full after encountering them, not those who deflated him, sucked his blood, his energy.

I have been lucky enough to feel this fullness from friendships. And as I grapple with the death of mentors and cancer of loved ones once again, I whisper the advice I gave my best friend with cancer a few weeks back, and my mother too tonight: it’s gonna be alright.

It always is when you do it out of love.

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telavivcity-blog · 5 years

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Alone with People

https://telavivcity.co.il/?p=5879&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr The City that never sleeps Alone with People https://telavivcity.co.il/?p=5879&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr Growing up gay in the South, a high school girl seeks the help of a therapist to come out to her family and friends in this hilarious and touching coming-of-gay story. Audience Award - Best Dramatic Short Film, OutFest 2014 Audience Award - Best Women's Short Film, Out on Film, ATL 2014 Audience Award - Best Short Film, ImageOut: Rochester LGBT Film Festival 2014 Best Alumni Short Film Award, Emerson LA Film Festival 2014 Jury Award - Best Short Film, Out Film CT 2015 Vimeo Staff Pick 2015 Written by: Quinn Marcus Directed by: Drew Van Steenbergen Produced by: Andrew Merki, John Pouliot, Maytal Zchut Cinematography by: Matthew Figler Edited by: Joe Castellano Sound Design & Mix: Paul Gleeson Featuring Music by: Lady Lamb the Beekeeper Camera Operator: Daniel Muchnik Gaffer: Jeffrey Taylor Sound Recordist: Joseph Fiorillo 1st Assistant Camera: Louis Weissman Script Supervisor: Manuel Jaquez Make-up Artist: Natalie Johnson Grips: Will Culick, Josh Cubas, Ryan Von Drasek Post Coordinator: Chris Kiernan Coloring by: Gavin Rosenberg Flame Artist: Keith Crago Assistant Editor: Peter Judge Stills Photographer: Markysha Clarke Social Media Coordinator: Dominique Banas Art Production Assistants: Michelle Caron, Jessica Silva Camera Production Assistant: Chris Hunt Set Production Assistants: James Pouliot, Chris Richardson, Caitlin Nolfi // Official Selection // 2014 / Outfest / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / NewFest / New York, NY 2014 / OutFest Best of Fest 2014 / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / Out on Film, ATL Film Festival / Atlanta, GA 2014 / Dayton LGBT Film Festival / Dayton, OH 2014 / Emerson LA Film Festival / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / Southwest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Albuquerque, NM 2014 / Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival / Seattle, WA 2014 / ImageOut: Rochester LGBT Film and Video Festival / Rochester, NY 2014 / Ft. Lauderdale Gay & Lesbian Film Festival / Ft. Lauderdale, FL 2014 / Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival / Rehoboth, DE 2014 / OUTrageous! Santa Barbara LGBT Film Festival / Santa Barbara, CA 2014 / Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival / Indianapolis, IN 2015 / Desperado Film Festival / Phoenix, AZ 2015/ QFest St. Louis / St. Louis, MO 2015 / Queer Media UK Film Festival / Manchester, England 2015 / Mardi Gras Film Festival / Sydney, Australia 2015 / 25th Melbourne Queer Film Festival / Melbourne, Australia 2015 / Pride Film Festival / College Station, TX 2015 / The Alhambra Theater Film Festival / Evansville, IN 2015 / Inside Out Toronto LGBT Film Festival / Toronto, Canada 2015 / 6th KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival / Mumbai, India 2015 / Goldman Sachs - 2015 Pride Month Screenings / New York, NY 2015 / Out on Film CT Film Festival / Hartford, CA 2015 / 10th Tel Aviv International LGBT Film Festival / Tel Aviv, Israel 2015 / Reel Affirmations Film Festival / Washington, DC 2015 / Tokyo International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival / Tokyo, Japan 2015 / qFLIX Philadelphia Film Festival / Philadelphia, PA 2015 / 20th North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Durham, NC 2015 / Long Island Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Long Island, NY 2015 / Short of the Week 2015 / Vimeo Staff Pick © Car Ride Home Productions Likes: 1086 Viewed: 87933 source #People #telavivbeach #telavivmap #telavivmuseum #telavivweather #tel-aviv TEL AVIV - THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS #gaypridetelaviv2019 #TELAVIVPRIDE2019 #Uncategorized

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telavivcity-blog · 5 years

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Alone with People (Official Trailer)

https://telavivcity.co.il/?p=6373&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr The City that never sleeps Alone with People (Official Trailer) https://telavivcity.co.il/?p=6373&utm_source=SocialAutoPoster&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Tumblr Watch Full Short: https://vimeo.com/136354421 Growing up gay in the South, a high school girl seeks the help of a therapist to come out to her family and friends in this hilarious and touching coming-of-gay story. Audience Award - Best Dramatic Short Film, OutFest 2014 Audience Award - Best Women's Short Film, Out on Film, ATL 2014 Audience Award - Best Short Film, ImageOut: Rochester LGBT Film Festival 2014 Best Alumni Short Film Award, Emerson LA Film Festival 2014 Jury Award - Best Short Film, Out Film CT 2015 Vimeo Staff Pick 2015 // Official Selection // 2014 / Outfest / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / NewFest / New York, NY 2014 / OutFest Best of Fest 2014 / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / Out on Film, ATL Film Festival / Atlanta, GA 2014 / Dayton LGBT Film Festival / Dayton, OH 2014 / Emerson LA Film Festival / Los Angeles, CA 2014 / Southwest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Albuquerque, NM 2014 / Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival / Seattle, WA 2014 / ImageOut: Rochester LGBT Film and Video Festival / Rochester, NY 2014 / Ft. Lauderdale Gay & Lesbian Film Festival / Ft. Lauderdale, FL 2014 / Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival / Rehoboth, DE 2014 / OUTrageous! Santa Barbara LGBT Film Festival / Santa Barbara, CA 2014 / Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival / Indianapolis, IN 2015 / Desperado Film Festival / Phoenix, AZ 2015/ QFest St. Louis / St. Louis, MO 2015 / Queer Media UK Film Festival / Manchester, England 2015 / Mardi Gras Film Festival / Sydney, Australia 2015 / 25th Melbourne Queer Film Festival / Melbourne, Australia 2015 / Pride Film Festival / College Station, TX 2015 / The Alhambra Theater Film Festival / Evansville, IN 2015 / Inside Out Toronto LGBT Film Festival / Toronto, Canada 2015 / 6th KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival / Mumbai, India 2015 / Goldman Sachs - 2015 Pride Month Screenings / New York, NY 2015 / Out on Film CT Film Festival / Hartford, CA 2015 / 10th Tel Aviv International LGBT Film Festival / Tel Aviv, Israel 2015 / Reel Affirmations Film Festival / Washington, DC 2015 / Tokyo International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival / Tokyo, Japan 2015 / qFLIX Philadelphia Film Festival / Philadelphia, PA 2015 / 20th North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Durham, NC 2015 / Long Island Gay and Lesbian Film Festival / Long Island, NY 2015 / Short of the Week 2015 / Vimeo Staff Pick © Car Ride Home Productions Likes: 16 Viewed: 6221 source #official #People #telavivbeach #telavivmap #telavivmuseum #telavivweather #tel-aviv #trailer TEL AVIV - THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS #gaypridetelaviv2019 #TELAVIVPRIDE2019 #Uncategorized

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