#gah im so fucking autistic

[the-aprilfools-bitch]

Babe. Infodump. Now

Okay Okay Okay

so i dont know the names for all of the things i know a bunch about but we obviously know the castration device, the chappy chopper

and then there was like a massive pair of pliers that they would heat over a fire till white hot and use to met the tongue to the metal and staight up rip it outta their mouths and then ther was the hook, quite simple, theyd just jam it into the fleshy bit at the back of your neck hooking the sharp point into the base of your skull and use a system of pulleys to hang you by your neck muscle, however the torturer really could do whatever they liked so some would hang them by their eyes or noses or mouths and occasionally they would have the person being tortured turn around face the chair they were being tortured and well jam the hook into another hole

theres also some fun death meathods where like, they would put a basket around someones head, put them in a shallow pool of water and slowly fill th basket with rocks until they physically couldnt hold their head up no more and theyd drown

also random fun fact one of the ways for testing for witchcraft was pricking their skin with somethings sharp and if they didnt bleed they were a witch but the witch catchers had pricks with blades that would retract into the blade and give a mark that looks like its been burried to the hilt but really didnt even prick the skin enough to bleed

also back to torture methods, some popular among prison aurd crowd were thumb screws (much like the name implies, a screw/small drill that is screwed directly through the thumb) and teeth pulling, which i am not explaining

also some fun crimes you could be aressted for/ hung in the gallows include

being drunk on a sunday; owning a black cat; spilling another mans whiskey; nagging; causing mutiny

okay this was more of a random all over the place infodump but i do probably know more i just made this post quite long

#fools saying shit #fools rambling #fools infodump #whore™ asks #<3 #cursed polycule #medieval #torture device #medieval torture #witch trials #medieval crimes #gah im so fucking autistic

[stupidnaturals]

.

#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me #bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer #and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on ! #unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. ' #and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out #and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like #' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that #but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to??? #and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand?? #also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me ' #or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever #and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance #which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away #like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!! #oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2 #or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too ' #and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs? #or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours #anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie? #so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again! #i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me #and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening???? #anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me

[fatdyke420]

BORIS JUST BARFED IN MY BED WHAT THE HELL

#HES SO FUCKING GROSS GAH RIGHT WHEN IM GOING TO BED TOO WHAT THE HELL WE WERE LITERALLY JUST OUTSIDE #AND ON MY WEIGHTED BLANKET THIS IS A HATE CRIME AGAINST AUTISTIC BITCHES

[brokenhardies]

neurodivergent people when they have to decide what food to eat and have realized that bc they apparently like making things difficult for everone all their options have fifty different caveats;

#i could just make pasta but theres nothing to have with the pasta #so its all slimy and gross #i could go up and get chips but i dont want to have chips all the time #i could make fish and then cook up some rice but idk if i have the time or energy to do that #GAH i hate this sooo much #caps tw #and i hate looking up advice i dont get any fucking advice bc im not an autistic child or an autistic adult who doesnt know how to cook #like gah i hate this its awful

[ladyinsertnamehere]

If sparklecare was college instead:

Uni: *referencing a special interest source for an essay* Oh Tears I’m. Im so autistic, man. I’m autistic about them. Tears.

Uni later: *having to cite the source now* Gah, fuck. What is wrong with me. Why am I like this. Annless Tears.

#meaningless ramblings #sparklecare #I gotta get normaler #reference a tangentially related thing to add to the force of your essay. fuck #to be fair what I included was a mercifully short sort of relevant infodump - ‘bout a paragraph long

[greatshell-rider]

oh man. i am not all that qualified to talk about how disability in many forms is portrayed in inda and tolerated in varying ways in marlovan society but damn that’s a discussion yknow

we got inda being autistic, the stablemasters who can’t ride anymore, cama losing an eye at ten years old, the sierlaef’s speech impediment from since he was born. (there’s others im sure throughout the series but im under halfway  through inda and these’re the ones coming to mind rn)

portrayal of inda’s autism is excellent and his treatment by the other characters is mostly positive since often it’s advantageous to fighting and tactics. (in later books past the quartet we see how PTSD badly affected the remainder of inda’s life and also! extreme ableism/eugenics in his descendants and that’s even more to discuss)

but a line from tlennen’s pov regarding his son aldren just kicks me. “The king turned to his heir, who was so difficult to comprehend.” he sure as hell isn’t talking about the sierlaef’s stutter! but his failure to connect with his eldest son on a personal level . . . which i’d say derives from aldren’s disability. what connects tlennen to sponge is their shared love of reading and history and all that nerdy shit. he and aldren don’t have that. but they sure share a lotta other shit in common. ie. being born heirs to a throne. going through the academy as heirs. you know! and yet aldren’s “so difficult to comprehend”? bitch, he wants his father’s love and approval! dumbass! the sierlaef striving so hard for tlennen’s attention and pride provides evidence of just how little tlennen ever fucking offered it to him. little fucking wonder why he turned to the sierandael so earnestly, seeking some form of a father figure. this has strayed off the mark but aldren was ostracized from a young age due to his disability and due to the “beat up the kids” system the marlovans got going on aldren had no other way to go other than becoming a nasty cruel entitled little bitch. i can fucking hardly blame him! it was expected of him, and given to him, to take the abuse and neglect he received and turn it around on everyone else (read: sponge). gah

#barely coherent it's past my bedtime but jeez #i hardly like the sierlaef but damn he got dealt a rough hand yknow #certainly doesn't excuse any of his actions but same goes for tanrid yknow yknow #smh #disability in fiction! interesting stuff #inda quartet #sartorias-deles #oh man i go on a full rant about the parent-child relationships in this book #*could go on #father-son is v fucking interesting and so is mother-daugher and mother-son....father-daughter is touched on far less..... #it's like. *points at father/uncle/older generation* this is all YOUR fault #but then you remember that they learned it from someone too so you gotta point at the NEXT older generation #and it goes on and on and on :pensive: #fuck!!

[frogboyandzombieface]

okay tough guy, you think you can get me every time? bet. 1-30 for the asks <33 >:3

YOOOUUU!!!!! BENNIEEEE 😭😭😭😭💖💘💕💞💘💓💘💞💕💘🥰i love u so much i aDORE you 

1. what song makes you feel better?

hmmm uhh probably lemon demon songs cuz like they are so fun and nonsensical and it sorta startles me into feeling happier JHKFDJKHF like mask of my own face i LOVE IT. or deep swim by windows 96 its a very chill song good to help come down from dissociation or panic attacks

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

coraline all the way LMAO i just love it. or tbh the IT movies cuz i just love the little kids!!!!

3. what’s your favourite candle scent?

IDK i love like nearly all the scents theyre so good but ujhmm uuhhh pears 😳😳i actually do adore french pears, i have a lot of stuff to make candles and every time i make candles i cant resist using french pear as a scent lolol

4. what flower would you like to be given?

as i told u before i Luv bottlebrushes and waratahs like 😳😳omfg but i actually do love lilies too or crane flowers !! they look like birds !! i fucking love crane flowers fhjjhfjkhfg

5. who do you feel most you around?

you <3333 BUT for ppl irl definitely my best friend who ive known since i was a baby and my cousin we’ve been a trio for ages i love em fjhkgjkhg theyre the only friends that ever stuck with me lol. anywWAYS ima stop myself from oversharing lol

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

GAH u sneaky little bugger... okay i will try

1. i rly like my eyes hfdjhkfdjkh

2. i actually dont mind my legs that much i like em! 

3. i rly like my eyebrows fjhkgfhjgf

4. uuuhh i like my puzzle skills (like puzzle games and jigsaws etc) 

5. fuck the non physical is so hard uh,MM?? its scaring me that its so hard lol but i like the way im willing to make friends with all different ppl

6. i like my passion for plants and animals ig hfhhg

7. what colour brings you peace?

GREEEN !!!!1 i fucking LO V  E green at the moment like my favs change sometimes for colours but i love green its such a nice calming colour and plants are green so :))))

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

OHHH i wonder WHO to tag wow this is SO hard i have absolutely no idea who to tag for this................................................  @cinnachee (duh) BUT ALSO !!! @yearning-and-arson @autistic-ace-bee @lifewasawillowtv @zombiewheeler @iinkycat and literally ALL my mutuals and followers ily all <33333

9. what calms you down?

ummm music, podcasts, having a fan running (usually in summer tho) someone telling me a random story for distraction, playing maybe a game of sudoku (i luv sudoku i actually play it a lot) i guess are some things fjkhgkjhg

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

UHH my work is opening up a new store closer to my house that im gonna be working at in april and im excited !! because the new people who own the one im currently working at are FUCKED they keep fucking everyone over with shifts and they are such tightasses we have like mice upstairs and downstairs and water flooding from air conditioners and other shit but im not gonna go on a rant about my work lol.. already annoy the shit out of my friends enough with it HAHA BUT IM excited to get out of this shithole and go to the better one !!! AND OF COURSE SEASON 4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYLER !!!!!!!!!!!!! MAY 27TH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

11. what’s your ideal date?

LITERALLY ANYTHING except like a fancy restaurant i dont like that shit... i want fun stuff yknow or just where we CAN have fun yknow? like we could straight up just go to a 7-11 and get a slurpee but as long as we have fun while doing it and get to spend time together then i think its a good date :)) like thats what i think it should be abt like spending quality time wirh ur partner (though i wont say no to like dessert dates like going to get ice cream or crepes etc .... i love the idea of dessert dates :’) ) 

12. how are you?

umm idk i could be better lol. on my period so i feel like shit and i also got my booster shot so i feel doubly shit lol and i havent done a single bit of drawing or writing today its just... ug h. like i really want to but every time i opened it up to try my brain said NO lie down on the couch and just do nothing productive... fucking  khjjkhjkhhjkfghjkfghjk but hopefully ill feel better tmrw 

13. what’s your comfort food?

ASIAN FOOD FJHFGJK like omg rice paper rolls or japanese food or like beef and blackbean noodles... literally God. though a nice good bowl of curry too GOD i love curry but alsO CHOCOLATE AAA esp like a nice choccy cake... BUT ALSO I LOVE FRIED RICE DISHES ??? or PAELLA? is also comfort.. im just as bad as choosing a fav food as u bennie HJKFDSKJHFDKSJ 

14. favourite feel-good show?

stranger thinGSSSS OF COURSE FJKHFJHK i watch it daily.. but also the office is nice too :)) i actually realised recently tho i dont watch tv shows all tHat much?? i watch more movies than shows,, like i can think of maybe 5 tv shows ive ever watched LMAO idk why ive never really watched many tv shows..

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

???? i literally dont understand this.. for every emoji i ‘get?” like every emoji i have in my recent or are ppl sposed to send me emojis ?? or do i choose one for someone? i dont understand this im sorry bennie my brain has never been smaller...

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

YOU ARE PERFECT AND SPECIAL AND AMAZING IN EVERY FUCKING WAY !!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!! I LOVE YOUR MUSIC YOUR WRITING YOUR FACE YOUR GLASSES YOUR HAIR YOUR FASHION SENSE YOUR SMILE YOUR EYES YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR YOUR - i am stopping myself before this becomes an I Love Bennie essay

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

hmmm LED lights i think r my style im Edgier but fairy lights fuck tooooo!!!!

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

YEAH DUH???@?? who DOESNT? stuffed animals are so amazing and cute ands they slap sm... i still have nearly all my stuffed toys from when i was a kid i treasure them

19. most important thing in your life?

ummm i dont really know?? like.. i guess having a good time yknow? like doing what i love and spending quality time with friends and fam when i can but also spending quality time with myself too, and not letting other peoples opinions influence that unless i want it as well.. i guess love is at the core of it lol . and that means all types of love, platonic and familial and self love as well as romantic because they are just as important !! though you dont have to love your blood family if they dont treat you good found families are just as valid !! 

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

to see u 😭😭💞💖💗💝💕💓 KJDHFHJK but also to like. be normal i guess like no mental illness cuz it would mean SO many things in life would be so much easier but ik thats a futile dream so like !! yeah BUT LIKE BENNIE U HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY I WANNA MEET U KFHJKFGKH LIKE HOLY SDHIT I GENUINELY LIKE WANNA SAVE UP FOR PLANE TICKIES TO CANADA FHJKGFJLG 

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

umm enjoy life as much as you can i guess .. enjoy your youth even if your childhood was fucked up by that thing , dont let it stop you from being a kid still. and also you are going to become emo . ended on a lighthearted note lol 

22. what would you say to your future self?

idk honestly i just hope shit is going well for you and got to do what you wanted, or at least youre happy lol 

23. favourite piece of clothing?

my chokers !!! i love them !!! but ALSO i have these fishnets with butterfly patterns on one side of the leg and ITS AH FDJKHFDKGJHGKHJD I LOVE IT its so pretty :’) 

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

420 blaze it 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤪🤪🤪🥴😵🤯😩😧😩😨😨😞😱🤕but also playing this game called unpacking is sos sosososo good i love it , and listening to music in the dark too is nice 

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

ANYTHING !!!!!! LITERALLY ANYTHING PPL M A D E FOR ME OR GOT FOR ME WITH ME IN MIND/z??234uiorudsfhjkdfjk LITERALLY FUCKING AMAZING FDJEJGHKKJHJKH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA like PL E A S !!!!!!! just anything l;ike that and i am MELTING 

26. what movie would you want to live in?

uummm honestly beetlejuice. its so fun you get to haunt ppl when you die and its so fun and whimsical and id probably just start crazy shit and be Chaotic

27. which character would you want to be?

is this one related to the previous question? cuz if so BEETLEJUICE DUH FJGJHK you can do all this weird ass shit and you live in a coffin HELL YEAH 

28. hugs or hand-holding?

UM im not deciding thanks both of them 

29. morning, afternoon or night?

NIGHT BABBYYYY always nighttime im a nocturnal little shit

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

you honestly cuz like i wake up to ur msgs a lot or come home from work to em like i look forward to it so much throughout the day <333 BUT also like .. listening to kurtis conner’s podcast too definitely and homemade mugs and stuff you see in shop windows and getting like eggs and bacon etc on toast at a cafe too.. definitely some things that feel like home <3 BUT also the beatles too.. listening to their music just like unlocks some deep part of my soul hjfhjkjhkG ive been missing them lately but i do nOT want to go back to the fandom atm..

#gOD BEENNNIIEEEEE #HFJKDKJHGKJHEJKHFHKJREJKHWEHKJREJKHEFJHKFDJHKFGJHKGFJHGFDHJKGFDHJFGDHJKGFDJHGFDJHFGDJHFGDJKGFKJHGFDJHGFDHJFDGHJKGFDHJFDGJHFGDHJFGDHJKFGD #I KLOVE YOU #SO MUCH #tHANK YOU FOR THIS #OPPORTUNITIES TO BALB ABT MYSERLF MAKE ME HJAPPY #AND ALSO I JUST LOVE U SO MUCH #i will never stop tellign everyone and you how much ily #LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! #EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW!!!!!! #asks #munchkin pear #i was gonna put a link like send me some asks ! but whats the pooint ibve already done every single one... #ask game #thank u so much bennie beeee <333 #god llve uopu so much/.... #i hope u wake up soon #long post