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proserpina-magnus · 3 years

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Regulus Black dating a muggleborn

word count: 2863

[ warning; gender neutral reader, mention of death, description of crying, angst, no happy fucking ending, swearing, mention of lap sitting (none sexual), kissing, awkward teen love, regulus is kind of edgy and a dick sometimes ]

Fanon Regulus, not Canon. This doesn't line up with anything canon! So please do not take this seriously.

- Did I say dating? I meant secretly dating.

- Regulus spotted you studying alone at a table in The Three Broomsticks, he just couldn't hide the part of him that felt an intriguing feeling towards you.

- He asked a few people around, nudging them and gesturing towards you, asking a small "who are they?"

- It took him a few days to finally get someone to answer him and once he knew your name, he knew he'd fallen into a rabbit hole. he couldn't stop thinking about you, his mind twirling around your name in a constant spiral.

- Luckily, you had been partnered with him for a potions assignment. he couldn't talk to you, he couldn't even mutter a "hi" he was so nervous.

- He had never felt this nervous feeling in his stomach, it was coming to the point it was drowning him.

- Finally, the next day during potions he was able to gain enough courage and actually talk to you about the project, though his voice sounded so mellow and drawn out, like honey.

- He didn't try to engage in conversation other than the assignment, so when you offered that you and him could go to the library and do a bit more research, he said yes almost immediately.

- You both decided to go after dinner since the library wasn't as filled in the evening.

- So when he came back to his dorm after eating, he tried to change into something more casual than his school uniform. it took him a good 15 minutes to pick what he deemed was fit for the occasion.

- He was just about ready to step out the door with his books until his dormmate said something that caught his interest.

- "you're meeting up with your potions partner, arent you?"

- "Yeah, why?'

- "Nothing, it's just their a mudblood, you shouldn't be hanging around those types of people"

- "oh... I didn't know they were a... mudblood"

- 'yeah, nasty they are. you should just ditch 'em"

- So regulus did, he ditched you. he felt guilty, leaving you all alone in the library. you must had thought he was another pureblood prick.

- His conclusion was right, you waited for a good thirty minutes for him. When you realized he wasn't coming, you just decided to do the whole project yourself, it was better if you could just get this stupid assignment done yourself so you'd both could go your separate ways.

- The next day when he got to potions class, he saw you pass in a report to Professor Slughorn. He felt his stomach drop, he knew well enough you had finished the assignment last night without him.

- After class, he caught up with you, pulling you aside as he watched you stare up at him blankly.

- "what?" you had asked him, a hand on your hip as you gave an annoyed sigh.

- "I'm sorry I ditched you, I just didn't know you were a... muggle-born" he admitted, looking anywhere but your eyes as he caught a few of Slytherin boys looking at the two of you.

- "whatever, Black"

- " you didn't have to do the whole assignment, I would have helped you."

- Your eyes met the Slytherin boys who were watching you both, you gave a pitiful frown.

- " don't worry about it, I get it. next time, just tell the professor you don't want to work with me. don't lead me on for a stupid joke"

- He didn't get to explain himself as he watched you walk away, he felt horrible. he had never felt this deep connection to someone before, it made his heart sink when he watched you turn the corner.

- A few months pass, he hadn't gotten another opportunity to talk to you again. he felt like an idiot, he had a chance and he completely blew it,

- Late at night, regulus would stare at his ceiling and dream about what would happen if he had just done what he wanted if he had gone to finish the assignment with you. You both would meet up, exchange dislikes and likes, talk about your dreams for the future.

- He couldn't focus on quidditch, it was coming more frequent of his team captain yelling at him.

- Luckily, he had gotten another opportunity to talk to you again. both of you were selected to be a part of the slug club. Regulus was going to say no, but when he heard your name get mentioned, he joined.

- The first dinner party of slug club, was like a dream. his eyes scanned over your outfit and how it looked absolutely pleasing on your body. his eyes kept siding over to where you sat and when you caught him, he would just look away.

- After a few more meetings, he was done with the 'whole looking away whenever you looked at him' , there were only a few more months of Hogwarts left. his eyes met yours and he didn't look away, he gave a smile.

- When you had smiled back, he couldn't help but smile a bit wider, his cheeks glowing with a red flame.

- The next meeting, you had sat next to him. it didn't take long until you both had been exchanging words and stories, laughing at jokes and giving each other shy looks.

- After a dinner meeting during slug club, Regulus offered to walk you back to your house common room. (if you are in Slytherin, then he would just walk with you till you both had to go separate ways to your dorm).

- Once you arrived at your destination, it was awkward. He looked anywhere but you, his face was hot with red as he began to get flustered.

- You had said a quiet goodbye, turning to head back to your dorm but he grabbed your hand. Holding you back as he stiffened up and asked you out.

- "will you go out with me? This weekend, it's a Hogsmeade trip, I'll pay." His words were hard, but his body language was a complete mess.

- "you're not gonna ditch me again are you?"

- "no, defiantly not ." His words had still been raw and hard, he felt like he was going to throw up butterflies.

- "I'm a muggle-born, I heard you purebloods don't really like us very much. This kind of seems like a set-up"

- God you hoped it wasn't a set-up, ever since you've sat next to regulus at the slug club meetings, he had stolen your heart.

- "It might become an issue for some... people, but it doesn't bother me much"

- Regulus was defiantly not good at phrasing things, especially romantic feelings.

- You didn't take his words too seriously, you debated for a minute. You wanted to go with him, it felt like every nerve was alive.

- "Alright, one date couldn't hurt" with your words, you leaned up to kiss his cheek.

- "goodnight Regulus" ... and then you had disappointed out of his view. Once you reached your dorm, you screamed into your pillow with excitement.

- The date went well, you both had gone to the three broomsticks sticks and sat at a table near the very back.

- You had talked about everything you could, Though he made sure to stay away from the conversation of his family. He didn't want to ruin the date by mentioning his pureblood supremacist family. It's sorta a mood killer.

- You both stayed out of busy spots, even hiding and giggling in a bush as his dorm mates passed.

- That was your first kiss with regulus, tangled in bushes and twigs as you heard footsteps fading. His lips were soft, his hand coming to rest on your cheek.

- When you pulled away, both of you were flushed and looking towards the soil. He walked you back to Hogwarts, separating ways.

- You both couldn't see each other often, only giving each other looks in class or exchanging waves when passing each other in the hallways.

- It was fine for a few months, though the secret meetings were stressful yet fun. You didn't want to hide anymore, which resulted in your first fight.

- "don't you get it? I can't be seen with you! I've told you about my family. They don't like muggle-borns, this Voldemort guy doesn't either and I can't risk exposing our relationship! You'll get hurt!"

- "I don't care if I get hurt Regulus! Our love shouldn't be hidden because your afraid of what people will think! I'm tired of this sneaking around, I'm sick of it!"

- The fighting continued for minutes, both exchanging hateful words. At one point he had said something very vial, saying he couldn't be seen with someone like yourself.

- "What is that suppose to mean?" You sneered at him, eyes tearing up as your arms crossed over your chest.

- "you know damn well what it means," he said back, quick and hard as he just glared down at you.

- You huffed, turning away as you wiped at your cheek. You turned back, shaking your head at him before disappearing out of the room.

- He stayed in the room for a while, thinking about everything. He was so angry, his veins were about to pop from frustration. He hated his family, he couldn't believe that he would lose the one he loved because of his ratchet mother and father.

- He went to Sirius, which was a first in forever. He explained everything to him, he told him how he was sneaking around with a muggle-born and how he didn't want to stop loving you.

- Sirius smirked, thinking he had finally gotten Regulus to betray their spoiled family. Sirius talked his ear off, telling him that he was glad he was gonna change himself and come join the hated family member club.

- Regulus didn't just want to leave the family, he wanted revenge.

- He disregarded Sirius, telling him to piss off and leave him alone for a while.

- The end of 6th year was coming up and Regulus wasn't given any chance to speak to you. He knew damn well you both hadn't separated, just fought. Though he laid in bed at night and worried so hard he thought his brain was gonna rot.

- On the train, he made sure to pull you into a compartment with just you and him. Shutting the blinds so no one will disturb you both.

- "Regulus I don't want to talk to you"

- "I can't meet with you or write to you all summer, I'm not putting up with this break anymore. I only have 2 hours with you and I'm not wasting it."

- "aren't you afraid you're gonna be spotted with me?" ... Regulus wasn't quite good at sarcasm (HA! As if) but he knew well enough from the tone of your voice that you weren't too happy.

- Regulus sighed hard, watching you look out the window as you played with the bottom of your shirt; tucking it in and out of your skirt/trousers (or whatever you're comfortable in).

- "I'm going to do something crazy over the summer break and I don't know if it's going to work but all I know is if I can protect you, I will."

- "regulus what are you talking about?" You asked, you felt worry build up in your stomach. You reached out, grabbing his hand.

- He instantly interlocked your fingers together, he moved to your side as he stared deep into your eyes. His eyes always looked so cold, but right now in this moment, they felt warm.

- "I love you, honestly, if I could marry you right now I would"

- He denied to speak about what he said before, he didn't give you any more information.

- Halfway through the ride, you had been positioned on his lap. His arms looped around your waist as his head rested in the crook of your neck. He let you play with his hands.

- " I love you too" you mumbled in the quiet atmosphere. Regulus held you tighter at the words.

- "hmm?" He hummed, wanting you to say those words again.

- " you told me you loved me, I didn't say it back. But I do love you regulus, I love all of you."

- Regulus felt himself smiling, he couldn't stop the wide grin as he nudged his head into yours lovingly.

- "I can't wait to see you after the summer break" you whispered to him, kissing his forehead as you felt the train start to slow down.

- Dread filled the empty spaces as you hugged each other as tight as possible, not wanting to let go.

- "it's alright, I'll see you after summer. I promise" he whispered into your ear, before bringing your lips to his and kissing one last time.

- The kiss felt like fireworks, there was so much longing and passion mixed into it you didn't want it to end.

- Sadly, the kiss ended and regulus soon disappeared in the crowd of people.

- That summer, regulus had gotten the death mark, he reeked of anger and emptiness. All he wanted was to see you again, to hold you in his arms and kiss you until you both couldn't breathe.

- He had gotten close to Voldemort, he played all the deatheaters with his fake words and praises. He had learned about Voldemort's Horcruxes.

- Regulus had sat at dinner, fork pressed into his hand as he thought hard. His love for you was so strong, he would kill for it.

- He counted down the days until summer break would end.

- 2 more weeks.... 13 days... 11 days... 8 days...

- On the 7th day before September 1st, his plan came to action. He would destroy Voldemort's Horcrux and defeat him and after, he would live 7th year in peace.

- Though his plans didn't come to a win. It stormed and rages of rain came upon him as he made his way to the cave. All he could hear was his heartbeat and the sound of rain outside, along with the padding of Kreacher feet.

- He could hear his breath, his eyes casting over every edge and dark spot. He smiled, he was going to do it, he was going to defeat Voldemort.

- "Whatever I say Kreacher, don't listen. Just keep feeding me the water"

- Kreacher grumbled, "of course, sir"

- "for you love, all for you" regulus whispered before dipping the shell into the crevasse, bringing it to his lips as he took a sip.

- Drinking the liquid felt like poison, regulus had to fight himself to not throw it up.

- The liquid was almost gone, but Kreacher had to take regulus place and force-feed him. Regulus was begging and thrashing, saying whatever came to mind.

- Regulus couldn't finish the drink, weird slimy skeletons climbed from the water surrounding them. Regulus was in a horrid state he couldn't even tell.

- When Kreacher finally force-feed him the last of it, regulus mind came to stillness. His limbs too weak, but he was able to understand that the weird-looking skeletons were not friends.

- "Kreacher, take the Horcrux and go! Hide it! Try anything to destroy it! Go!" He had yelled out, voice dry and strangled.

- Kreacher had to obey by request, he snapped his fingers and disappeared with the Horcrux.

- Regulus tried to fight, his wand shook in his hand as he casts spells after spells. It worked for a few minutes, but there was only one of him and so many of them.

- Regulus was pulled into the water, he kicked and thrashed in spite of trying to get loose. He couldn't swim even if he escaped, his eyes stared through the muddy water as his lungs filled with it.

- Regulus thought of you, your smile, the first time you kissed him, the way your hand fit in his so perfectly, the way you would send him kind eyes whenever he passed you in the halls.

- He sank, and of course his body was dead, but his mind was still there. He was barely conscious enough, but he was there. His body limp and rotten as the years pass.

- His disappearance travelled fast, you had heard first on the train.

- The first years had wondered why a a 7th year was weeping so bad that they couldn't even stand properly.

- You shook hard, gasping and not even trying to grab anything as you sank to the floor of the train. You couldn't care that people were giving you looks, your boyfriend was gone.

- Regulus was gone.

#regulus black #regulus black x you #regulus black x reader #regulus black smut #regulus black headcanon #regulus black imagine #regulus black oneshot #marauder x reader #marauder x you #regulus black x reader smut #marauder era #marauders headcanon #sirius black #regulus black x gender neutral reader #marauders headcanons #regulus black x reader headcanons #marauders angst #marauder angst #marauders era angst

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coffeeflavoredcookies · 3 years

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Krbk Multichap Fic Recs

The order doesn’t particularly matter. The ratings also vary, so be careful and make sure you read the tags to know what you’re getting into! Also, they are all completed.

Anyway, here we go !

Tonight we’re the sea by idratherhaveyou. (Artist Bakugo, Kirishima moves to the seaside! It’s so damn good! The writing, the characterization, the feelings, the story! The Everything!!!)

But I’ve got an angry heart by newamsterdam. (Dormmates, College AU! Baku wants peace, Kiri wants to make friends! Very good! A little (lot) angsty, but like honestly, VERY good)

Slow it down, go easy on me by newamsterdam. (Time travel AU that’s got everything to make it perfect. A marvel <3)

The fool’s rush by Chonideno. (Future AU! Roommates. Mutual pinning. Lots and LOTS of pinning. So fluffy you’ll cry)

Something just like this by imatrisarahtops. (such a feel good fic, following the themes of the krbk week 2018. Pinning, comfort and getting together)

The best part is falling by Claus_Lucas. ( (Bakugo’s had enough of Kiri not understanding his own feelings. It’s hilarious and cute)

You give me a quite mind and I’ll love you by Claus_Lucas. (the boys do lot of figuring out after the rescue, it’s good)

When you’re in love with your best friend by ellieb3an. (5+1! Bakugo realizes he’s in love with Kiri! It’s real good)

When you’re in love with your boyfriend by ellieb3an. (the long distance relationship that’s gonna melt your heart (the sequel) )

Coming up for air by ellieb3an. (Kiri learns to cope with the trauma after getting stuck in his own quirk, it’s very emotional and so so good! A++ caring baku! It’s amazing!)

Easy now, with my heart (careful now, with my heart) by multiclassmaps. (or how their classmates figure out they’re dating, very good!)

All I knew I could ever need was in front of me by multiclassmaps. (Married pro hero with a dog, perfectly fluffy and warm)

So take my hand, you life will be brighter by multiclassmaps. (hockey AU, amazing! Absolutely amazing! A must read! And reread!)

your heart's a mess, you won't admit to it; I'm desperate to connect- and you- you can't live like this by multiclassmaps. (unrequited love that’s not actually unrequited. So? Damn? Good?)

To the tune of Bakushima series (mostly canon compliant. How Baku and Kiri went from being Friends With Benefits to properly getting together. amazingly well written and just go read it!) (rating varies!!!)

Slow and steady series by Siij. (They get together. They figure things out. This is amazing, and the writing is great and the fluff!! Also, ratings vary)

Perihilion by tauontauff. (a blessing, a true blessing, soft, sweet, heart-melting. Christmas themed!!!)

One step closer by tuslee. (angsty, Bakugo gets in a car accident, his road to recovery is slow and difficult. Katsuki and Ochako friendship centric)

Burn like the sun by Kivea. (Firefighter AU! amazing Bakusquad interactions, I cried at times from how much I laughed! It’s great <3)

Crow’s feet by PotatoJesus. (Established relationship, future AU! really soft and sweet)

Heart stains on the carpet by cityboys. (bodyguard AU, the fake dating AU that started them all! cityboys is just amazing)

2AM by cityboys. (Bakugo goes back to his home town and is forced to work in his mother’s café. It’s cityboys, just read it)

Fucking feelings series by Equinurmae. (Hilarious, Baku and Deku friendship, Baku goes full gay panic and asks Deku for help)

I’ll save you myself by Obesessed_As_A_Coping_Mechanism. (very sweet and kinda gets hot at the end)

Just another sexuality crisis at midnight by PaperTrees. (I don’t know how to describe it without spoiling it, but it is AMAZING!)

Stuck in the blast zone series by Nickolefricle. (the interactions are AMAZING, and the little stories are really REALLY good)

Spring a season about love by Tears are salty. (kmjr and krbk and bkjr friendship. Very cute)

Today is not good so far by generic_handle. (Established relationship. Kiri invites Baku for night out with their friends but for some reason, it sets the blonde off. very funny)

2AM knows all secrets by Unbrekable_Red_Riot. (Baku has nightmares, Kiri helps. It’s REALLY good. Also, slight one-sided kmkr)

Kiss me you fool by Shizuumi151. (it’s a series of independent one-shots. Very sweet. The ratings vary)

Of fading Light and cooling space by SilentKnight. (Kirishima thinks baku is dead for 80% of this. Very painful. Very good)

Acceptance and denial by Poteto. (Kiri drags Baku into his attempt at coming out to his parents. It’s Very good!)

Friday I’m in love by mcgreys. (The one where Bakugo thinks Deku is in love with him and hilarity ensues)

Anyone can be a hero by RedBluePalatar. (Future fic. The one where a certain video forces kiri to give up hero life, until he meets Baku again a couple of years later. Very good!)

Nightmares aren’t explodable series by PurplePersnickety. (Or the one where Kiri is cranky. I can’t say more without spoiling but go read it it’s really good!!)

Everyone knows that cats are indepandant by PurplePersnickety. (the daemon AU where Kiri works in a coffee shop and Baku has a Lioness as a daemon! It’s so good!!)

Rosy by mr_todoroki. (the one where Baku steals Kiri’s first kiss and our cutie catches feelings!)

Red by mr_todoroki. (And they were roommates! Kiri is discovering things about himself and Baku does not like his new friend).

Sunchaser by Chonideno. (Denial of feeling?? Mutual pinning?? A lot of feelings? Like looking through a fogged glass? Very beautiful and poetic! An absolute must read! My heart still does weird things when I think about it!)

A heart swelled to bursting by eggstasy (established relationship. Lots of Bakuangst but also Baku growth. eggstasy writing a multichap, do you even need convincing, my dudes)

Cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops (they’re both having nightmares and trying to help each other. Lost of angst but it’s so good)

This ain’t a fairy tale by alpha_hydra (kiri gets hit by a quirk that makes everyone fall in love with him. Baku is already in love. Smutty)

Moment of truth by Fanficismything. (the proposal AU. It’s really soft! You see it as Baku falls in love! It’s really good!)

Breath of the wild AU by Stylish_Racoon (as the title says. Bakugo is Link, Kirishima is Zelda and sometimes I wish I could wipe my memory just so I can experience it again)

Broken Bridges by DeathBelle (Kirishima comes back from aboard and they work together. Smutty)

Quote love unquote by newsamsterdam (it’s the fake dating celeberities AU we all want, it’s perfect, it’s a must read it’s everything)

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things by chezka (Kirishima never made it to UA because he died and now he’s haunting Bakugo or so they thought. Listen, It’s really really good!)

The Magic Song by Zacksy (the cindrealla AU we all needed! A really sweet fic)

In the Kingdom On the Sea by deviance (Kirishima is a Kraken Merman (a REALY big one) and Bakugo is a pirate that’s madly in love with him)

Inevitable by Legendaerie (Pro-heroes, partners, Bakugo taking care of Kirishima and showing his love through that while Kirishima remains oblivious! It’s really good, like really insanely good with all the right fluffy feelings)

Ransom in Red by Shippeh (sort of cindrella AU that’s really good)

Sun Sets Red by Shippeh (College AU where kr and dk are roomies and Bakugo’s the hot not-boyfriend that came attached to Deku. It’s really good)

Heartbeat Thunder by Shippeh (ABO in UA where Kirishima is an Alpha that hates his secondary gender and is afraid to rut and Bakugo is an omega who relies too much on instincts and doesn’t believe feelings matter.

Built to Fall by bigstupidjellyfish (Post break-up pro hero krbks become partners and fight villains and mend their relationship and finally, FINALLY fuck! It’s very good )

there's a space here shaped like you by kingdoms (Fantasy Bakugo lands on Kirishima’s lap (figuratively) and Bakugo is jelly! Very good)

you can get what you want or you can just get old by hyperlight (Bakugo gets hit by a quirk that sends him to a future where he messed up everything and lost himself to become the number one (and still never managed it). Kirishima in this word is a really badass hero that doesn’t give too fucks about rankings! He’s super mature and harder but gosh I’m in love.)

half in and half out of the light by gangnamstiles (Kirishima gets discharged from the army, but he’s got a lot of scars left from his time there, Bakugo’s a rock throught it all, and so are their friends. They were a band before adulting, and now they’re tryna put it back together. It’s really emotional and good)

Worth a Thousand Words by awareoftheconcept (Kirishima thinks Bakugo is dating Camie and jealousy ensues but their friendship is so sweet it don’t really matter, plus they make it in the end. Did i say the way their friendship is portrayed is everything? They just REALLY love each other. I love this fic with my whole heart)

Out of the Slipstream by Ashii Black (ashiiblack) (and AU where th boys are professional cyclists and this Bakugo’s really hot and also they soft with some jelly Bakugo, very good. E rated)

Burden of Proof by kytrin, Mslead (it’s murder mystery with magic and romance and a great relationship development! It’s really really good! Mind the rating tho!)

In the Dark of the Night by arxaris (Katsuki’s the emperor of rome and Kirishima’s a Gladiator that catches his eyes. It’s a sort of fwb that evolves into something more because these boys can’t resist each other. It’s sweet and hot, very good all around.)

From Fire and Ashes, Flourishing by Milligramme (Bakugo’s a volcano god and kirishima’s the priest that gets chosen to «worship» him. They fall in love, it’s very good)

nuclear seasons by qactus (The lifeguard AU we don’t deserve. It’s a slow burn and it’s so damn good. Rated E).

the great wide somewhere by amaranthinecanicular (Beauty and the beast AU. References to the fantasy AU from the popularity polls that are integrated to the story so well. It’s just. Very very good)

Just a Few More Minutes in Heaven by loki_dokey (Bakugo is in love with Kirishima, everyone knows it except for him (including Kirishima) It’s very VERY good)

Eyes Like Dragon-Fire by Dragonire (and excellent fantasy AU slowburn. The world building is amazing and the developement of their relationship is great. It’s really good!!) Rated M

CALYPSO by gummyconcrete (No quirk AU, where they try to figure out their feelings in the few months they’ve left before graduation. Lots of feelings)

Bakugo’s Diary by Gyashi (It’s a sweet little story told in drawn diary entries)

Freshly Ground Coffee by arxaris (Cute barista!Kirishima PH!Bakugo AU)

Demon Kirishima Loves His Human by deviance (A series of connected one shots that deal with Demon!Kirishima and Not so human!Bakugo. Very good)

#kiribaku #bakushima #krbk #fic recs #krbk fic recs #i'll update it as I go i guess #long post

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jackedspicer · 3 years

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C.B.H.!

new chowder oc dropped. Youre gonna hate this guy so much

first of all, corned beef hash is a character that my siblings @collectiveazaelas & @castingcomets and i have collaborated on making. from the bottom of our hearts, we hope you hate him as much as we do

at first glance, corned beef hash serves as a narrative foil to ms rhubarb. his initial conception centered loosely around antagonizing her, but his personality quickly grew beyond that. he is a beast unto himself and others. his only goal is to be self serving and (intentionally) get in the way of others in his life, primarily the other OCs kumquat and pimento, but also canon characters as well. he does this not out of spite or dislike for others, but rather it’s just because he can, and it is often times the fastest route to his goal. he is the freudian id, if the id had a sense of self control and awareness (though he does occasionally blip out on the latter).

cbh's age isnt exactly clear. he exists in the comically broad adult world that most of marzipan city seems to: anywhere from 25-2500; whos to say? he graduated valedictorian from law school. around this time, he terrorized his dormmate (and future "friend"), pimento (a ram-like man with a few loose screws), to the point of dropping out and going into the culinary field, as "a kitchen during rush hour is still less stressful than sharing a living space with cbh." cbh is at times a petty thief, and at times a criminal mastermind - it depends on his current "schemes" and what is funny at the time. he knows the law to the letter and sometimes uses it to his advantage. though others sometimes think he is a temperamental idiot, most actions are done through thought-out choice and by utilizing his own strengths.

He has a stand in the farmer’s market at which he sells an assortment of mysterious wares and occasionally baked goods that are Evil & Wrong. The quality of his stock ranges anywhere between genuine artifacts to actual garbage from the dumpster, which he will then try to “spruce up” and sell as something more. He’s a hustler no doubt, and he earns his supply through meticulous dumpster-diving, talking down prices at thrift stores, and general vaguely-illegal tomfoolery. At times, he’ll get his hands on elusive items, and how he accomplishes this is seldom explained (he once was arrested and jailed for 12 days because he “accidentally” was selling illegal dognip). He frequently enlists in Kumquat’s help in his various endeavors and typically has her do the dirty work. For example, one of their foraging techniques involves his hooking her onto a fishing line and casting her out to sea; it’s usually just junk, but sometimes she’s clutching a few shiny souvenirs when reeled back in.

He does move the physical location of his stand around a lot, both to “drain fresh pockets” and to avoid growing too known and hated in one area. That being said, he’s been at this for a while, so every vendor at the farmer’s market knows him and is all too familiar with his cycling. The clientele are just unfamiliar enough to fall for his beguilement, though, save for a few skeevy regulars who seek him out for his stuff.

yes he was valedictorian. yes he was a frat boy all throughout college. yes he does beer kegs by pouring the beer directly into his head. yes hes a criminal mastermind. No its not a big deal

being a “bottlehead” (as he calls himself), he doesnt know what sex is (why would he need to?) but he doesnt know that he doesnt know. he loves the culture of it and he’ll hit on anyone. he doesn’t get vocab, but he’s raunchy without hesitation (see quotes section)

he has his eyes on the front of his skull because hes a pursuit predator

his tragic flaw is that he has no flaws. likewise, his lack of complexity is what makes him complex. He has no insecurities. This guy is a black hole. He is everything, but most importantly, he is Nothing.

It’s typical for him to throw around callous, vulgar, and at times offensive references. Case in point: his favorite nicknames for kumquat are Cumsquat and Cumsquirt. Likewise, his nicknames for pimento are Pissmentos, Bimento, Bitchmento, etc.

whenever he does something to boast about, he pounds his chest, turns around, flashes the back of his jacket, and chants C.B.H.! the way a frat boy chants his college's name

he's largely inspired by the way chris fleming characterizes the massachusettsian frat boy. in our minds, he also shares a voice with him.

he feels no shame and he does not hide himself. He may be a bullheaded, grandiose individual, but that doesnt mean he'll withhold his words of affirmation. he'll say something and really mean it - he gives and withholds performances for no one, as he only serves himself.

He devotes no time to introspection. it’s debatable that he might not even know how, but it would be time squandered as there’s not much to introspect On.

it’s a mistake to misinterpret kumquat as his little buddy whom he feels affection for; in his mind, they’re on the same team is all. hes gotta protect his own. It’s as if they’re in the same frathouse. that being said, hes not a good team player. he gets along with kumquat and at times pimento because they’re both socially passive, and the same goes for any relationship he’s ever had. Working with someone of his caliber would guarantee the butting of heads and stalemates on stalemates. A disaster

he’s heavily inspired by 3OH!3

his other inspirations include grunkle stan, brucie kibbutz, and caesar from big top burger, in equal parts

his species is potion

his mother is a lava lamp, his father is a science flask, and he has several siblings, with one of which being a bong named Oregano.

Cannot stand being called Corn

QUOTES

“C.B.H.!”

“You wanna go? You wanna start some BEEF with the HASH?!”

“By the power vested in me by the state of marzipan city i now pronounce you FUCKED PWNED”

“I’LL SUCK YOUR MOM’S DICK, BRO, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!”

You want to know if his potion liquid is adhesive so you ask him if he has a meniscus and he thinks that youre asking him smth dirty so he says “hey hey i’m on my day job right now. Come by after 8 and ask me then, see what happens”

“If it’s not broke, we don’t sell it!” (motto)

“You wanna throw rocks at this glass house?”

“Oh i’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was politically incorrect to have my TITS OUT”

“Broskis can you keep it down, im trying to get my wicked sleep gnar gnar on”

“I’M GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM SERIOUSLY GONNA COME UNCORKED”

“Bro, i can’t deal with you trying to kiss me & shit. I’m not gay. Like, yeah, i’ll fuck a dude, marry a dude, but i seriously can’t be seen smooching someone with horns that big, you dig?”

“MY MOM DOESN’T LIKE YOU, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOES!”

“Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, i’m looking at the fucker right now.”

“Whose bottle do i gotta brush to [XYZ] around here?”

his uncieknuckies-type shitpost blog: @corndbeefhash

and finally, his difficult person ranking:

#cbh #chowder oc #chowder #draws #weve actually had this guy since september but it took us a long time to organize everything... it's bonkers #anyway most of the written section was written by my siblings! theyre brilliant and super funny and so good at making characters #I FORGOT TO SAY THE WORDS ON THE SECOND DRAWING ARE A 3OH3 LYRIC

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twisted-eels · 4 years

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Post Release Tag Game

~Your twisted tale begins!~

1. You just woke up in a coffin trapped with this talking rat thing that swears he isn’t a tanuki. How do you actually react?

✦ Well that entirely depends on whether I’m aware of the fact I’m in a game or not. If I retain my knowledge of twst then I follow the game path (and accept that I have to live with the talking rat from now on). If this is all completely new to me then I would most likely go with the flow, I’d realise that something completely unnatural has happened and try to adapt to the situation. I’d also interrogate the talking rat thing and try to find out more information

2. Let’s pretend for a second that you’re not at the mercy of a magic mirror and incompetent bird dad, choose which dorm you would like to be a part of. Why, and do you think the mirror would agree?

✦ This is hard… I would choose to be part of Octavinelle, I mean… the visual design of the dorm rocks. Plus they do well in tests, so I could persuade my dormmates to tutor me. The mirror probably wouldn’t agree with me. I’ve taken a couple ‘What Twisted Wonderland dorm are you?’ type quizzes, and I usually get put in Heartslabyul. Maybe I should send someone a dorm sorting request and see what happens?

3. Going back to twst reality, where you don’t have magic and get sentenced to Ramshackle; what is your first thought upon seeing this safety hazard of a building? What’s the first thing you choose to fix there?

✦ My first thought is ‘no’. The first thing I choose to fix is the fact that I live there. Surely I can make a deal with Azul to have a spare room in Octavinelle. He can have Ramshackle in exchange. I know he wants that second location for the lounge

4. In an alternate reality where you don’t immediately get lumped together with Ace and Deuce, who in the school becomes your best friend(s)?

✦ Epel and Rook seem interesting to be around, I don’t know a ton about either of them, but going off of my general idea about the two, I could see myself hanging around them. Epel I’d probably befriend pretty quickly, Rook maybe not so much. Unless being from another world is enough to make up my lack of beauty or interesting qualities. Other characters I could potentially befriend would be Kalim, Jamil, Trey, and Idia

5. Which existing club would you give a shot? Any particular reason why?

✦ Board games club! You guys should’ve seen when I got Risk and nobody wanted to play with me because it was so long… in the board games club they’d have to join me, right? Also I just wanna vibe with Idia and Azul

6. Don’t be shy, we know there’s a certain someone who’s caught your eye! Who are they? How did you meet?

✦ … Jamil. I’d assume we meet through Kalim. I met Kalim, vibed with him and we started hanging out together, and then Jamil came to find Kalim for one reason or another, meeting me in the process or if we’re following the game plot, we’d meet when I was investigating the mysterious injuries surrounding magishift players

7. Which of the events was the most exciting for you?

✦ Ghost marriage. Sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone get slapped would be legendary, and all those outfits? Even better. Of course I’d feel bad for Idia, but that doesn’t really change how amusing the rest of the event would be

8. Ghosts: delightful dorm mates or unholy terrors?

✦ That entirely depends on their reaction to my 2 am singing, they might become nightmare fuel just to get me to shut up for a minute. Otherwise the ghosts are honorary dorm members, who have an obligation to listen to me, their dorm leader I’m officially the mc now

9. Choose a champion (no further context, just pick).

✦ Leona. As long as he’s actually awake/motivated to get up and do champion stuff, I think he’d be well suited... I say, having absolutely no idea what the context for this is. If this whole champion thing requires motivation however, I’d pick Jamil instead

10. Would you rather (a) film a movie with Vil, (b) play a round of magic shift with Leona, or (c) go gargoyle sighting with Malleus?

✦ Film a movie with Vil, the other options aren’t even up for debate

11. Thoughts on fairies?

✦ Cool as hell. Those are not things we have here and that is honestly a shame. I’m kinda interested in all the different types of fairies and what distinguishes them. Like is it just physical differences or do the different fae have special abilities of their own?

12. “Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” (Choose wisely now)

✦ Vil, I would rather not be poisoned by him for saying otherwise

13. Would you rather (a) keep Azul from eating fried food, (b) be responsible for dragging Idia out from his lair, (c) break a rule with Riddle standing right in front of you, or (d) tell Kalim to his face that Jamil isn’t all that great (not true).

✦ Break a rule with Riddle standing right in front of me. I’m looking forward to him trying to use off with your head on someone with no magic of course he could just beat the shit out of me, but that is a risk I am willing to take

14. You stumble upon Rook stalking another student from inside the bushes. What do you do?

✦ First of all, laugh at him. Then probably join him tbh, depends on who he’s stalking

15. Which homeland (that we know of) would you like to learn more about?

✦ Land of Pyroxene

16. Thoughts on Grimm?

✦ Rat bastard who needs to stop eating overblot rocks. Or if he’s gonna eat them, at least wait until I’ve experimented on them to find out what they are and what they can do

17. If you had magic, what would be your unique magic?

✦ Now this is a hard one. I’d say… an ability that draws attention to or from someone. So the magic could make it so that everyone turns and pays attention to the target, or that everyone ignores them, making them essentially invisible. I don’t have a name for the magic right now because I only just came up with it

18. Favourite ship?

✦ Marcela x Lilia. Not because I think it’s a good ship, but because if they did get together it would be so chaotic. It’s just for the memes

19. Favourite theory?

✦ Silver being twisted from the sword that kills Maleficent. I don’t know who first came up with the theory, but I’ve seen it mentioned multiple times by different people. I like it ‘cause it’d be an interesting narrative, and hint at a possibility of betrayal. A character twisted from a villain and another character twisted from what killed them, nice

20. The school year is coming to a close, how are you feeling? Any thoughts?

✦ Please tell me I can continue on as a second year. I’m feeling kinda annoyed that I can’t use magic, but seeing everyone overblot, I figure it might be for the best that I can’t

21. “Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.” What do you wish to see from the game in future stories?

✦ Potion shenanigans. Perhaps an event where a dodgy potion resulted in some body swapping or something? Or they pull an Emperor’s New Groove and turn someone into a llama. I think I prefer the llama idea. Please twst give me a llama event

Tagging: @sorianfordarwin, @edda-blattfe, @ghostiebabey, and any of my followers who want to do this. Go wild kids

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst game #tag game

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damnslippyplanet · 4 years

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goth club au nonsense

So @notoriousfish shook me upside down and some 90s Goth Kid AU twitfic fell out because we both have a lot of lingering feelings about clove cigarettes and stompy boots.

I refuse to try to make this be an actual fic right now; No More WIPs For Me Until I Finish One, As A Treat. But I do want to save it for future consideration. So I’m just gonna drop it here, for the record.

+++++

pls feel free to imagine LWJ attempting to study in a corner while the Goth Club crowd is giggling handsily all over the place, leather-bound throats tipped back in laughter, clove scent everywhere even though indoor smoking is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses

and it's disruptive and rude and disrespectful of quiet hours but also he can't help but wonder what it would be like to be the hands for whom WWX goes quiet and still under an eyeliner pencil, or to cinch up a corset or or or or

there's no good reason he should wait up, and if absolutely pushed he would say it's because he's appropriately concerned about his dormmates' safety or that they're sneaking back in after curfew

he would never say it's because something about the way WWX is when he comes back, loose and easy from - what? drinking? dancing? does he fuck someone in a shitty club bathroom? not knowing makes LWJ's imagination unbearably creative - makes LWJ's entire body go hot and wanting

It starts with the cloves, probably. WWX catches LWJ looking stressed and offers him one. LWJ tried one of LXC's Springwaters once and it was...fine? He didn't feel the need to try it again. But the cloves smell different. Complicated? Like autumn? Fire and dangerous things.

And honestly when was the last time anyone even noticed he was stressed. When anyone but his family bothered to peek under the mask. What if he just - let this awful, beautiful boy be nice to him, for five minutes.

(It's a terrible idea because afterwards he tastes the lingering spicy-sweetness on his own lips which means now he knows what WWX's mouth tastes like and it's...not something he needed to know. It's pushing out math equations, he's pretty sure, a whole part of his brain gone.)

He doesn’t accept an invitation to join the group the first time or the fifth; he doesn't believe WWX means it any more than any casual invitation he issues, the arms he slings around just about anyone's shoulders, it's not...none of it's FOR LWJ. Letting himself think it is would just be borrowing trouble.

But eventually. Edging up on winter break, maybe, JC's down with a cold and NHS is reluctantly helping with a family thing and Mianmian left for the club an hour ago because she had a cute girl to meet and was impatient with WWX's dithering about wardrobe.

WWX just shows up at LWJ's door with four pairs of nearly identical boots and is like I AM HAVING A CRISIS AND YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE. LWJ is. Well. He'd fully intended to sort out the boot crisis and send WWX on his way. But apparently he's planning to WALK.

In the FRIGID NOVEMBER AIR. WEARING MESH. JC would make him wear a coat or take a Lyft but he's not there. If LWJ doesn't go along, WWX is going to probably die in a ditch and it's going to be his fault.

(He wants to pile four coats on WWX. He wants to strip him out of the mesh entirely. He's short-circuiting a little bit, improbable and contradictory impulses flying every which way. In retrospect he's never actually sure how he ends up wearing WWX's boots to the club.)

LWJ lets WWX bully him into dark clothing - "THERE ARE BLACK LIGHTS, YOU WILL GLOW LIKE A BEACON IF YOU SHOW UP LIKE THAT, IT WOULD BE AMAZING BUT YOU'D HATE IT, PROBABLY" - and in the process he manages to drape a sweater around WWX's shoulders.

It makes him feel a way, probably, mingled satisfaction and nerves. He does not trip on the way to the club. He wore WWX's clunky boots, not the ones with the heels.

(He will live for a week on the way WWX looked at him when he tried on the ones with the heels, though. It was like being personally noticed by the sun.) He, yes, keeps WWX warm. Cups his hands together to ward away the breeze when WWX lights up another cigarette.

WWX can't actually be looking up at him through his eyelashes as he drags the first puff deep, making sure the burning ember will hold, their heights are all wrong for it. It feels that way anyway, somehow?

Something about the mascara, maybe, and the angles of their heads bent close together against the outside world. How does makeup work. How do faces work.

It's only a few blocks. A ten minute walk. It's not a surprise that WWX spends it talking - he talks SO MUCH, LWJ is not sure how they are even the same species - but it isn't the bright foolish chatter he usually overhears.

WWX saw one of the books LWJ was reading for his honors thesis and he has THOUGHTS about it. They're insightful. They're *helpful*. They're punctuated with emphatic waves of the cigarette that almost put LWJ's eye out once, and *no one* is that excited about LWJ's topic but LWJ. It's...unexpected. And then they arrive.

LWJ expects that WWX is going to pull him inside into the thudding frenzy of god only knows what bacchanalia he's imagining inside, a pulse he can feel through the thick concrete walls, and he assumes WWX will disappear into a crowd and LWJ will lean against the wall.

Eventually he'll feel he can politely leave, and maybe WWX will return his sweater the next day and LWJ will give the boots back and it will be fine. A small adventure, which is all LWJ's regimented schedule and heart really have time for anyway.

The thing is, though, that WWX still has half a cigarette left. (It's the third one. How does he still have LUNGS to talk this much.) And he just...leans back, against the horrifying wall smudged with god knows what, and looks up at the cool clear sky.

"This is nice, isn't it?" he says. Like he's not going anywhere. Like the club isn't pulsing at his back like a living thing he was so frantic to get to twenty minutes ago. "Let's stay out here a little while," he says, as if LWJ might say no.

Holds out the pack for LWJ to light up too, if he wants. If he does, it will take so much longer. By the time he's finished, WWX will have lit up again and how will they ever get inside at all? Later, he'll think that this was the moment.

There were things he missed along the way that he'll understand later, flirtations he misinterpreted, moments he closed his eyes to. But this one is unmistakable: when they chose each other. He takes the pack and the lighter from WWX's hand. WWX smiles so gently.

LWJ doesn't kiss him, not then, but that's when he knows he will.

#slippy writes things #the untamed fic #mdzs fic

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pvrvll · 5 years

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isn’t that MADELINE MCKINNON yeah that is HER, sitting there at the SLYTHERIN table with those other SEVENTH years and i think i heard sybill saying they look like DANIELLE CAMPBELL… whoever that is! when she looks into her crystal ball she sees . overgrown patches of ivy climbing cracked cement walls, family isn’t made up of only blood, a soul full of fire and rain, matching your heartbeat to the bass line of blasted music, the chill and thrill of dancing in the rain, bright lipstick that serves as a warning. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty AMOROUS, TENACIOUS, and DOGMATIC. apparently they’re a HALF BLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. ——

love me, love me, say that you love me

madeline was born a few years after her brothers, an age gap that meant she only spent two years in school with her youngest older brother before he graduated and all the mckinnon boys moved on to promising careers.

as the first girl in the family she was doted on but she didn’t thrive on all the attention so much. she was a well behaved little princess but without the attitude that usually accompanied so much devotion and spoiling. but marlene was born just a year after and saved madeline from all that cooing and pampering in a way.

madeline, even as a very young girl, felt different from her loud and boisterous brothers, though she she shared their bright eyed grins for adventure.

in fact, madeline loved her family quite alot but she felt different from them, even though she shouldn’t. they were important and outspoken and while she was a confident and well spoken kid she wasn’t as --- outgoing, or friendly. she was more withdrawn, observant and quiet. and when marlene matched the energy of their brothers and her parents it was madeline who was the odd duck.

everything changed for her when she was sorted into slytherin, at the very least marlene seemed to trust her less despite the fact that she was the same person she’d always been, and one hell of a big sister. her parents too seemed somehow disappointed and looked at her like she was a stranger and not their beloved daughter. it wasn’t the first time she’d witnessed good people doing questionable things in the name of good but it was the one that hurt the most. and it began to change madeline’s own attitudes.

she embraced being the black sheep but it didn’t make her a death eater, she finds most of her housemates to be deplorable human beings but she sees how pervasive their pain and fear is from their families and how it drives their actions and opinions. she decided she’d form her own, with a light base from her family.

madeline is very true to the traits of her house, she puts herself first, she had to when her family started treating her differently because of the colors on her robes. she realized years ago she didn’t care much how she achieved her goals, just that she did. her ambition is enormous and despite her dad not treating her the way he used to he has chosen to groom her to join the ministry, to follow in his footsteps. she takes his lessons very seriously but often wonders if she even wants to work in the ministry when she has all the newt classes that would make her an excellent cursebreaker.

she is a very grounded person and many people seek her for advice because she manages to leave emotions out of it and simply give facts, her housemates appreciate this and her ambition, attitude and usefulness help them forget she is not a pureblood, or that they hate her family. she doesn’t want to be put in a box based on her surname and she fights regularly to achieve that. and by fight i mean quietly hexes or curses the perpetrator, she never gets caught but she always gets revenge or payback.

in her final year she has yet to decide where her future lies but is more and more convinced it isn’t her father’s legacy she wants at all, not when his love and respect is contingent on it. she’s trying to enjoy her year with her friends and her siblings, before she breaks free and everything goes to hell again at home.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

dormmates ( both positive and negative, not everyone is gonna be down with a half blood even if she is real cool )

friends ( any house works )

people who have asked her for advice or help ( she is well known for being a good mediator between other siblings, people in relationships or anyone having a conflict)

those who don’t like her ( for various reasons; blood status, house, surname etc. )

#petrificus.intro #intro #bio

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