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#furthering the weird girls agenda

heartbeatbookclub · 3 months

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I already established Monika snorts when she laughs really hard. She has a gentler little giggle she uses as a social courtesy, but when she finds something really funny, you'll know. She's got a real strong cackle you wouldn't expect to come out of her.

Sayori has a wheezy sort of laugh. The kind of laugh which ends in a coughing fit, to which you jokingly respond "don't die on me!" She laughs when she's nervous, or in any other situation, really, it's near impossible for her to keep a straight face.

Yuri tends to keep herself more restrained, though her gentler giggle is genuine. She's just too shy most of the time to really get into the joke...and she doesn't really get a lot of them. Sometimes though, she finds something unbelievably funny. Oftentimes, it's something pretty odd, which makes her feel self-conscious about laughing, but she can't help herself. She's the kind of person where all the air in her lungs just escapes immediately when she really laughs, and the sound is her breathing in. Yknow, that kind of really weird laugh that sounds funny in itself. Usually she tries to contain the sound, which results in the visual of her shoulders silently shaking. The first time they all saw it they thought she was crying, which made it doubly funny when they realized she was laughing.

Natsuki's laugh is fucking adorable. Twinkles like a goddamn bell, most of the time. The rest of the time she's got her own mischievous little cackle which, nonetheless, is absolutely adorable. Like you were expecting anything else.

#ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc natsuki #ddlc yuri #doki doki literature club #ddlc #my headcanons #furthering the weird girls agenda

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skipper1331 · 2 months

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Spider // Alexia Putellas

a/n: inspired by a tik tok I saw, but sadly can’t find anymore!

Early on in your relationship, you learned that Alexia wasn‘t afraid of anything - the complete opposite of you.

It was you who hid in the crook of her neck when you watched horror movies,

it was you who sent her downstairs when you heard some weird noises,

and it was you who had a night light on when she was away.

Seeing Alexia scared or frightened had never been on your agenda as you had tried to scare her multiple times already, her reaction always the same, "I know you‘re there" or "don‘t even try it, mi amor, I heard you"

But the one time you did see her scared was in a way you never expected it to be.

You stood in the kitchen as you debated on what to cook tonight.

You weren't the biggest fan of cooking nor the best at it, but since it was an unspoken rule that one night you would cook and the following day Alexia, you naturally stuck to it, especially when you knew that she had training until the evening.

So, as you leaf through the cooking book, you stopped at every recipe you knew Alexia enjoyed, checking if you had the ingredients.

With the music playing softly in the background and your daydreaming, you didn‘t realize that your girlfriend had entered the room. Silently, she walked up behind you, resting her chin on your shoulder while her arms looped around your midsection as she pulled you against her front, "what got you so distracted, mi amor?"

Your body tensed and froze - being frightened before you quickly melted into her embrace.

"I don‘t know what to cook" closing your eyes, you rested your hands over hers.

"What about some simple pasta?" she proposed as she started to press featherlight kisses along your neck, making you melt even further in her touch. In responds you nodded, turning in her grasp, "how was training?" you asked, putting your arms around her neck, the two of you swaying to the music.

Tiredly, she smiled "good but exhausting. I scored some goals"

"Something new" you teased, pinching her cheeks, grinning widely at her expression.

"Stop"

Biting your lip, "Hm? I‘m not doing anything. All I was saying was-"

Leaning in, the Catalonian locked your lips, preventing you from finishing your sentence. Immediately, butterflies erupted in your stomaches while your minds went blank, only focusing on each other.

"If it was always that easy to shut you up, hm?" the girl grumbled jokingly, pulling you back in. Kissing you would always be her favourite activity.

That girl was obsessed with and addicted to you - she could never get enough of you.

She loved kissing you,

she loved hugging and holding you,

she loved talking and listening to you,

she loved protecting and claiming you as hers,

she simply loved you.

After a few kisses, the midfielder excused herself to change into more comfortable clothes when all of sudden a hair-raising, terrifying and horrific scream came from upstairs - Alexia.

"Ale?!" you shouted, grabbing the nearest weapon - a fork.

Running to your bedroom with adrenaline pumping through your body, you prayed that she was alright.

Please let her be okay.

As you threw the door open - ready to fight whatever was behind it - your girlfriend stood on your shared bed, gripping the sleep shirt in her hand and screaming.

"Are you okay?! What‘s wrong?! Are you hurt?! Why are you screaming?!"

Alexia had a look of disgust and fear displayed in her features, "araña!"

At this point, you really should have continued your duolingo strike because you didn‘t understand what she was talking about at all.

"Spider"

She pointed to the wall, her body tense and slightly shaking.

Sighing in relief that it was nothing dramatic, you walked to the wall where she was pointing at, the spider not visible until you were one step in front of it.

"la araña is huge!"

"It‘s tiny" you laughed, shaking your head, putting down your 'weapon' "baby, I thought someone was in here"

"She is!"

"yes but she probably lives here" walking towards the bed, you held out one hand for her to take, leaving your guest alone "she does not pay any bills! She‘s not allowed to live here! Kill it" your girlfriend demanded, crossing her arms yet her eyes not leaving the gigantic monster, "I will not leave this bed until it‘s out of my house"

"Okay" you stated, walking towards the door, intending to get an item that would help you remove the spider.

"Where are you going?!" Alexia‘s voice shrilled, more fear appearing in her eyes.

"Getting a glass" your voice was calm and gentle, not wanting to stress out the footballer even more.

Which didn‘t seem to help.

"Why do you need to drink something now?! Kill the monster!" she panicked, "don‘t leave me alone in here"

"I want to-" you cut yourself off, there was no point in explaining what your plan was as everything seemed to freak out the Barcelona player. So instead of walking out of the bedroom, you walked towards her, offering your hand once again.

She clinged onto you, her legs wrapping tightly around your waist, arms holding you around your neck as she hid in the crook of your neck - something that had never happened before.

Roles were reserved - you were the protector and she was the one to be protected because the 'I’m never scared'- girl was in fact scared and very so.

Gently, you sat her down on the couch, pressing a kiss to her forehead before you got a glass and a piece of paper, heading back to your bedroom. You felt Alexia‘s eyes burning holes into back of your head until you were out of sight.

The tough girl was seriously afraid of a tiny tiny spider, somehow ironic.

When you arrived in the room, you walked towards the spot were the spider was - it wasn‘t there anymore.

Slightly in panic, (not afraid of the missing spider but your girlfriends reaction) you thought about what to do. Telling Alexia was definitely not an option and neither was searching for it. The spider was tiny and compared to your bedroom, it would take hours to find it, so there was only one option left: leaving the spider wherever it was and acting like you removed it.

And even though, you were the worst liar and you hated lying, was this an acceptable lie - after all, it was about her safety and peace of mind.

With a plan in mind, you headed to the bathroom. You knew Alexia would hear the flushing toilet and assume you killed the spider, exactly what you needed - for her to think the spider was gone forever.

All you could do now was to hope and pray that you would eventually find it and not her.

Making your way downstairs, Alexia waited patiently at the edge of the couch, "is it gone?" she asked.

"Yes, baby"

"Gracias amor" she got up, keeping her distance as the items the spider had touched were still in your hands.

She followed you in the kitchen where you threw away the paper, about to put the glass in the dishwasher, "what are you doing?!" the midfielder‘s eyes wide, voice high-pitched, "put the glass in the trash!"

"What? Baby, it’s perfectly fine"

"No no no, this will not stay in my house!"

You admitted defeat as you also threw away the glass. The lady needed her inner peace back.

"Maybe we should get some takeout tonight?" you proposed, taking her hand and walking in the living room.

"Sí, that‘s good"

The midfielder collapsed on top of you, hugging your figure as she pressed soft kisses along your jaw, "my hero" she smiled, finally interlocking your lips, showing her appreciation of protecting her. She purred every inch of love and affection into that kiss, thanking you yet also shutting you up as she knew you had a teasing comment resting on the tip of your tongue.

After puling away to catch some air, it left your mouth anyways, "never scared, hm?" you giggled, her cheeks turning red.

In responds, she just kissed you once again, the spider long forgotten as the touch of your lips made her forget everything in the world.

If the spider had still been there, you would have gotten rid of it to protect your girl and though, the plan had changed, the intention stayed the same, so you happily accepted the thank you and love you were getting at the moment.

next day

"AMOR!"

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso #woso image x reader #woso imagine #barcelona femeni x reader #fc barcelona femeni #fc barcelona women #barca women #barcelona femeni #barcelona women #barça femeni #barca femeni #espwnt #espwnt x reader

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kcyars99 · 17 days

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omg

[Verse 1]

Dear Adonis

I'm sorry that that man is your father, let me be honest

It takes a man to be a man, your dad is not responsive

I look at him and wish your grandpa woulda wore a condom

I'm sorry that you gotta grow up and then stand behind him

Life is hard, I know, the challenge is always gon' beat us home

Sometimes our parents make mistakes that affect us until we grown

And you're a good kid that need good leadership

Let me be your mentor since your daddy don't teach you shit

Never let a man piss on your leg, son

Either you die right there or pop that man in the head, son

Never fall in the escort business, that's bad religion

Please remember, you could be a bitch even if you got bitches

Never code-switch, whether right or wrong, you a Black man

Even if it don't benefit your goals, do some push-ups, get some discipline

Don't cut them corners like your daddy did, fuck what Ozempic did

Don't pay to play with them Brazilians, get a gym membership

Understand, no throwin' rocks and hidin' hands, that's law

Don't be ashamed 'bout who you wit', that's how he treat your moms

Don't have a kid to hide a kid to hide again, be sure

Five percent will comprehend, but ninety-five is lost

Be proud of who you are, your strength come from within

Lotta superstars that's real, but your daddy ain't one of them

And you nothing like him, you'll carry yourself as king

Can't understand me right now? Just play this when you eighteen

[Verse 2]

Dear Sandra

Your son got some habits, I hope you don't undermine them

Especially with all the girls that's hurt inside this climate

You a woman, so you know how it feels to be in alignment

With emotion, hopin' a man can see you and not be blinded

Dear Dennis, you gave birth to a master manipulator

Even usin' you to prove who he is is a huge favor

I think you should ask for more paper, and more paper

And more, uh, more paper

I'm blamin' you for all his gamblin' addictions

Psychopath intuition, the man that like to play victim

You raised a horrible fuckin' person, the nerve of you, Dennis

Sandra, sit down, what I'm about to say is heavy, now listen

Mm-mm, your son's a sick man with sick thoughts, I think niggas like him should die

Him and Weinstein should get fucked up in a cell for the rest they life

He hates Black women, hypersexualizes 'em with kinks of a nympho fetish

Grew facial hair because he understood bein' a beard just fit him better

He got sex offenders on ho-VO that he keep on a monthly allowance

A child should never be compromised and he keepin' his child around them

And we gotta raise our daughters knowin' there's predators like him lurkin'

Fuck a rap battle, he should die so all of these women can live with a purpose

I been in this industry twelve years, I'ma tell y'all one lil' secret

It's some weird shit goin' on and some of these artists be here to police it

They be streamlinin' victims all inside of they home and callin' 'em Tinder

Then leak videos of themselves to further push their agendas

To any woman that be playin' his music, know that you're playin' your sister

Or better, you're sellin' your niece, to the weirdos, not the good ones

Katt Williams said, "Get you the truth," so I'ma get mines

The Embassy 'bout to get raided, too, it's only a matter of time

Ayy, LeBron, keep the family away, hey, Curry, keep the family away

To anybody that embody the love for they kids, keep the family away

They lookin' at you too if you standin' by him, keep the family away

I'm lookin' to shoot through any pervert that lives, keep the family safe

[Verse 3]

Dear baby girl

I'm sorry that your father not active inside your world

He don't commit to much but his music, yeah, that's for sure

He a narcissist, misogynist, livin' inside his songs

Try destroy families rather than takin' care of his own

Should be teachin' you time tables or watchin' Frozen with you

Or at your eleventh birthday, singin' poems with you

Instead, he be in Turks, payin' for sex and poppin' Percs, examples that you don't deserve

I wanna tell you that you're loved, you're brave, you're kind

You got a gift to change the world, and could change your father's mind

'Cause our children is the future, but he lives inside confusion

Money's always been illusion, but that's the life he's used to

His father prolly didn't claim him neither

History do repeats itself, sometimes it don't need a reason

But I would like to say it's not your fault that he's hidin' another child

Give him grace, this the reason I made Mr. Morale

So our babies like you can cope later

Give you some confidence to go through somethin', it's hope later

I never wanna hear you chase a man 'cause his failed behavior

Sittin' in the club with sugar daddies for validation

You need to know that love is eternity and trumps all pain

I'll tell you who your father is, just play this song when it rains

Yes, he's a hitmaker, songwriter, superstar, right

And a fuckin' deadbeat that should never say "more life"

Meet the Grahams

[Verse 4]

Dear Aubrey

I know you probably thinkin' I wanted to crash your party

But truthfully, I don't have a hatin' bone in my body

This supposed to be a good exhibition within the game

But you fucked up the moment you called out my family's name

Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some decent people?

Guess integrity is lost when the metaphors doesn't reach you

And I like to understand 'cause your house was never a home

Thirty-seven, but you showin' up as a seven-year-old

You got gamblin' problems, drinkin' problems, pill-poppin' and spendin' problems

Bad with money, whorehouse

Solicitin' women problems, therapy's a lovely start

But I suggest some ayahuasca, strip the ego from the bottom

I try to empathize with you 'cause I know that you ain't been through nothin'

Crave entitlement, but wanna be liked so bad that it's puzzlin'

No dominance, let's recap moments when you didn't fit in

No secret handshakes with your friend

No cultural cachet to binge, just disrespectin' your mother

Identity's on the fence, don't know which family will love ya

The skin that you livin' in is compromised in personas

Can't channel your masculine even when standin' next to a woman

You a body shamer, you gon' hide them baby mamas, ain't ya?

You embarrassed of 'em, that's not right, that ain't how mama raised us

Take that mask off, I wanna see what's under them achievements

Why believe you? You never gave us nothin' to believe in

'Cause you lied about religious views, you lied about your surgery

You lied about your accent and your past tense, all is perjury

You lied about your ghostwriters, you lied about your crew members

They all pussy, you lied on 'em, I know they all got you in 'em

You lied about your son, you lied about your daughter, huh

You lied about them other kids that's out there hopin' that you come

You lied about the only artist that can offer you some help

Fuck a rap battle, this a long life battle with yourself

Yeah Drake is done ATP just hang it up dude you’re better off doing mainstream pop rap or something

#meet the grahams #family matters #kendrick lamar #drake #Kendrick lamar #rap #hip hop #dreamville #metro boomin #rick ross #diss tracks #euphoria #6:16 in LA #drake diss #music #kendrick #💀💀💀

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earlywintermourning · 11 months

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gotta give it to asteroid city for furthering the weird little girl agenda

#asteroid city #book’s quotes

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oririexcinere · 14 days

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"i must not tell lies" -The Boy Who Lived

Verse 1

Dear Delphini, I’m sorry that that man is your father, let me be honest I look at him and wish your grandpa woulda wore a condom I’m sorry that you gotta grow up and then stand behind his shadow Life is hard, I know, the challenges always gon’ be this home Sometimes our parents make mistakes that affect us until we grown And you a good kid that need good leadership Let me be your mentor, since your daddy don’t teach you shit Never let yourself depend on a 'leader' Either must die right there or expeliarmus that man, child Never fall in the pureblood bullshit, that’s bad religion Please remember, you could be dead even if you got horcruxes Never twist your morality, whether right or wrong, youre not just a Black too Get some discipline, don’t cut them corners like your daddy did, fuck what Slughorn did Understand, no throwin’ Killing Curses and hidin’ wands, that’s law Be proud of who you are, your strength come from within Lotta Dark Lords, that’s real, but your daddy ain’t one of them no more And you nothin’ like him, you’ll carry yourself as queen Can’t understand me right now, just play this when you 18

Verse 2

Dear Tom Sr, your son got some achivements, I hope you undermine them Especially with all the muggles that’s hurt inside this climate You one of 'em, so you know how it feels to be in alignment Dear Merope, you look for a future with emotion and hopin’ a man can see you and not be running you gave birth to a master manipulator Even usin’ you to prove who he is a huge favor I’m blamin’ the Gaunts for all his crazy believes Psychopath intuition, the man who like to play victim You created a horrible fuckin’ person, the nerve of you, Merope Girl, sit down, what I’m about to say is heavy, now listen Mhm, your son’s a sick man with sick thoughts I think wizards like him should die Him and Grindelward should get fucked up in a cell for the rest they life He hates Mixedbloods, enslaves them, with legislations of a selfharming fetish Cut his nose and hair off ‘cause he understand bein’ a monster just fit him better He got sorry excuses of wizards in his Death Eaters that pay him on a monthly allowance A child should never be compromised and he keepin’ their children around him And we gotta raise our kind knowin’ there’s purists like them lurkin’ Fuck a Department of Mysteries battle he should die so all of these wizards can live with a purpose I been in this world 7 years, I’ma tell y’all one lil’ secret It’s some weird shit goin’ on and some of these politicians be here to police it They be blamin' victims all inside of they home and feedin’ em to The Daily Prophet Then leak articles of themselves to further push their agendas To any wizard that be stayin’ neutral, know that you’re playin’ your children Or better, you’re sellin’ your grandkids, to the weirdos, not the good ones Rita Skeeter said, “Get you the truths,” so I’ma get mines The Ministry ‘bout to get raided, too, it’s only a matter of time Ayy, Longbottom, keep the family away, hey, Greengrass, will you keep the family away? To anybody that embody the love for they kids, keep the family away They lookin’ at you too if you standin’ by him, keep the family away I’m lookin’ to hex through any purist that lives, keep the family safe

Verse 3

Dear Bella, I’m sorry that your father wasnt active inside your world He didn’t commit to much but his career, yeah, that’s for sure He a narcissist, misogynist, livin’ inside his head Try destroy families rather than takin’ care of his own Shoulda bene teachin’ you spells or readin’ bedtime stories to you Or at your 11th birthday, opening the Hogwarts letter with you Instead, he be in France, payin’ for sex and poppin’ Potions Examples that you don’t deserve I wanna tell you that you’re loved, you’re brave, you’re kind but id be lyin' You got a gift to change the world and could change your baby daddy’s mind ‘Cause our children is the future, but he lives inside confusion Money’s always been illusion, but that’s the life he’s used to His father didn’t claim him neither History do repeat itself, sometimes it don’t need a reason But how I like to say it’s not your fault that he’s hidin’ another child Give ‘em grace, it’s the reason I respect Mr. Weasley So our babies like you can cope later Its a hopeless world but i wish for the better I never wanna hear you chase that man ‘cause his fell behavior Sittin’ at his feet with his other puppets for validation You need to know that love is eternity and trumps all pain I’ll tell you who your Lord is just play this song when it rains Yes, he’s a horcrux maker, torturer, dictator, right And a fuckin’ deadbeat that should never say “more life” Meet the Riddles

Verse 4

Dear Death Eaters, Take those masks off, I wanna see what’s under them achievements Why believe you? You never gave us nothin’ to believe in ‘Cause you lied about blood views, you lied about your legacies You lied about your family tree and your past tense all is perjury You lied about your superiority, you lied about your loyalty Hey Malfoys, Yall pussies, you lied on him, I know they all got you in ‘em You lied about your Imperios, you lied about your Lord, huh You lied about them other criminals that’s out there hopin’ that you come You lied about the only leader that can offer you some help, a greater good solution for yall

Verse 5

Dear Tom, I know you probably thinkin’ I wanted to crash your party But truthfully, I don’t have a hatin’ bone in my body This supposed to be a good exhibition within the Order But you fucked up the moment you showed up at my family’s house Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some selfulfilling prophecy? just for the lore? Guess intelligence is lost when the metaphors don’t reach you And I like to understand ‘cause your house was never a home 70, but you showin’ up as a 11-year-old You got mental problems, integrity problems rituals-coping’ and body problems, bad with money, Gringotts Solicitin’ wizardkind problems, therapy’s a lovely start I try to empathize with you ‘cause I know that you ain’t been through nothin’ Crave entitlement, but wanna be loved so bad that it’s puzzlin’ No dominance, let’s recap moments when you didn’t fit in No secret handshakes with your 'friends' No praise words from your Matron No cultural cachet to binge, just disrespectin' your mother Identities on the fence, don’t know which family will love ya, its back at the orphanage The skin that you’re livin’ in is compromised in souls Can’t channel your power even when holdin’ a Hallow You a blood shamer, you gon’ hide your own papa, ain’t ya? You embarrassed of him, that ain’t right, ain’t no mama to love you either Fuck a battle, this a long-life war with yourself.

mic drop.

#harry potter #tom riddle #voldemort #diss track #kendrick lamar #my post #Spotify

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mitsukiwa · 4 months

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Baby, love me cause I'm playing on the radio.

Previous I Pt 6 I My wattpad user is 6arelyhuman_ if u want the outfits visuals u should read it there.

WARNING!!! There will include: angst, fluff, smut, love triangle Summary: You love bill and there’s no doubt in your heart, unbeknownst to you he feels the same way. You both have to overcome challenging events that leads the both of you to grow apart, what happens when his twin brother feels for you? Will you be able to crush his heart? What will you do to prevent hurting them both?

You stumbled to the front door of your apartment, clumsily pulling out your keys from your bag.

Tom stood beside you, with his arms crossed over his chest.

He stepped forward taking the keys from you, gently pushing you aside to insert the key into the knob.

"You don't know which one it is" you say.

Just when that was said the door had clicked open with the key he had inserted.

"What did you say?" He had a teasing smirk.

"Oh shut up" was your remark.

He pushed the door open; stepping back to let you in. You step forward, though you tripped on your heel, Tom was quick to catch you before you collided to the ground.

"Thanks" you mumbled.

"No problem"

You step into your home, he hands the keys to you, you take them placing them on the table by the front door.

He leans on the frame, with his arms crossed.

"Well, uh drive home safe" I say awkwardly. He nods his head at my words.

"Will do" he turns around to leave but before he can leave, I call out his name. He freezes the second my voice hits his ears.

He turns his body to face me.

"Can you, um," I clear my throat "stay tonight?" I ask weakly.

The second those words left my mouth I instantly regretted saying them.

The corners of his lips tug upwards. That stupid smirk of his appearing on his features.

"I'll have to check my agenda, there's probably a girl I have to come home to, I'm not sure" there's a teasing tone in his voice.

I roll my eyes at him.

"You know what, pretend I never asked"

I was about to close the door, but he prevented me.

His eyes widened at my words.

"I was just kidding" he quickly said.

I cross my arms over my chest.

"No, you probably do have to get home to someone."

He shakes his head, "there's no one else, I promise."

I eyed for a few minutes more before moving aside to let him in.

He hurries in, closing shut the door behind him.

I walk to my room, Tom followed close behind.

I push open my door walking over to my bed. I sit down on the edge; I work on taking off the heels I had I on.

Tom was kneeled near the bed, playing with my dog cookie.

(SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BTW)

(She's a miniature pinscher)

I smiled at their interaction. She began growling up at him. He chuckled, growling back at her.

I thought it was weird. Him growling at a dog.

I stand up from the bed, grabbing a large comfy sweater from the closet and a pair of sport shorts.

I look back at Tom, who was already staring up at me from his spot on the floor.

"Do you mind?" I speak.

He smirks, "nothing I haven't seen before."

"Tom, I'm serious stop being a weirdo."

He sighs at me, finally turning around.

I quickly pull the shirt I was wearing over my head, dropping it somewhere near my feet. I pull down the mini Demin skirt I was wearing, stepping out of it.

I grab the sweater, putting it over my head, along with the sport shorts.

"Okay, done" I call out.

He turns around, eyeing me up and down.

I try and ignore him, so I walk over to the basin in the corner of the room. I put the dirty clothes in there, walking over to the bed.

I pull my covers up, sliding in them.

"Hey, what about me?" Tom says.

He stands up, walking over to the bed.

"Sleep on the floor" I say, letting out a yawn.

He yanks the covers off my body, pushing me further into the center of the bed.

"Tom, what're you doing?"

He quickly kicks off his shoes, sliding into the bed with me.

"I am not sleeping on the floor like some dog."

"Okay, fine, but you're sleeping on your side."

"Fine"

I grab a spare pillow and place it between us.

I know this may seem childish, but I just didn't trust him with me being drunk.

I cover myself with the blanket, snuggling my head into my pillow.

My eyes flutter close, they felt heavy as leather.

From behind me I feel the pillow being pulled away and my eyes shot open.

Tom's body scoots closer to me, I feel his chest press into my back.

"Tom, I said to stay on your side, pervert."

He throws a heavy arm around my middle, bringing me closer to him.

"I won't do anything, I swear" he mumbles by my ear.

I squeeze my eyes shut, that familiar chill running down my spine.

I let out a sigh through my mouth.

"Fine but don't you dare put your leg over mine-"

I was cut off by him throwing his leg over mine. At this point he was using me as a life-sized body pillow.

I let out a frustrated groan.

God, I was literally dealing with a big child right now.

"I feel comfortable" he rasped out.

I turn my body around, now our chests were pressed against each other.

I crane my neck up to look at his face.

He resembled so much like bill (no dur their literally twins😭) it hurt all over again, but he wasn't bill. And somehow that felt so much worse.

He was already peering down at me; his eyes wore slits.

He had a slight smile.

He looked happy, though I felt the complete opposite.

"He doesn't deserve you."

Those words angered me, I mean how can he say that?

"It's the other way around" I say.

He shakes his head against the pillow. Bringing his hand to rest on the side of my cheek.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you."

My breath hitches at his words, and I feel my heart pounding in my ears.

He starts closing the space between our faces.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

oh no, not this again!

I feel his lips make contact on my cheek.

I'm flabbergasted, he didn't do it.

"Not yet I want to take things slow" he mumbles.

Tom wanting to take things slow? Almost seemed unbelievable really.

I was beyond glad he didn't do it.

I snuggle up against him.

No, it wasn't bill, but I can pretend it is.

His arms wrap tightly around me. I imagine bill's warm embrace.

The only thing keeping me from completely thinking it was him was his smell.

Bill smelt better.

The alcohol I had drank began to ware off leaving me feeling drowsy.

"I love you, bill" I mumble.

I finally let my eyes shut close.

#bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #tokio hotel

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ae-neon · 15 days

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Ngl I can't get invested in this beef because I (don't care about celebs) but also because

TL, DR: I feel like it's a lose-lose situation. But more so for Kendrick, or rather what I thought about him

Drake has never not been a creepy cringe chameleon assimilating himself into diff cultural spaces to make music so Kendrick saying these things about him is like... Well, yes

On the other hand, it's a bit weird to see my image of Kendrick crumble one brick at a time. He's bringing an overwhelming amount of energy, like obsessively so, to focus in on Drake - who's relevancy is being renewed and legitimised by it

Kendrick is being accused of mistreating and even assaulting his fiance, apparently doesn't live with her or his kids, but wants to bring up drakes son and apparently fake daughter. He's bashing Drake for being a deadbeat dad but working with Future.

He's talking about Drake fetishizing black women when Kendrick's fiance is mixed and he cheats on her with white women but uses black women for his songs and videos (which is fine except he's literally thrived of this pro-black image and his "authenticity")

He's talking about predators in Drake's camp but put Kodak Black on his prev album. (Also like I understand rap being adjacent to gang life but both Kendrick and Drake are not gangsters, Kendrick grew up in poverty and around gangs yes but at the end of the day is a civilian, if he had proof of serious shit like this and only used it for agenda, he's gross and weird.)

He's taken shots at Drake not really being religious but 1) Drake's Jewishness is as much an ethnicity as it a religion. Most Jewish people are atheist but considered Jewish regardless.

2) not being religious is not a bad thing and I would go further to argue that as someone alligned with black consciousness Kendrick should be aware of the spectrum of black religious experiences from Islam to ancestry based practices. Kendrick himself is close to Black Isealites, a group that has problematic connotations surrounding their beliefs.

Like none of this makes what he's saying about Drake illegitimate, don't get me wrong, but like it's clear Kendrick only cares about these things as they serve as ammunition for his hatred of Drake.

Again it's the realisation that Kendrick's issue is not with "broken homes", SA and abuse of underage girls, fetishizing black women and black culture, in-authenticity etc it's with Drake calling himself a rapper while wearing clips in his hair or whatever

Idk, its just so lame to me now. Like both of yall need to shut up and get off my TL

#personal rant

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aronlewes · 1 year

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Diversity in my books

I've been reluctant to make this post, because I feel like my intentions could be easily misconstrued. People might think I'm trying to make myself look a certain way or support some kind of agenda, but no. I've just ALWAYS written diverse books. Simply put, I think there should be all types of characters, for all sorts of people to enjoy. So I feature ALL KINDS of characters -- white, black, abled, disabled, straight, LBGT, pretty, plain, old, young, etc, etc. Writing the same character over and over again just isn't fun to me! (I've also had people personally thank me for Asian and disability representation, which is another reason I'm compiling this list)

So, without further ado, here is a (mostly) comprehensive list of my stories that emphasize diversity (these are major characters and plotlines, btw, not unimportant side plots or characters)

(P.S. - this includes a few books written under my other pen name, Caylen McQueen)

Books with diverse lead characters:

The Darker Ages: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077HVG9YW (Alfred du Bois is black and I love him and I will take that love to the grave with me!!! He's my guy for life. I'm putting him first because I think he might be my favorite character of all time.)

School for Spirits: A Dead Girl and a Samurai https://www.amazon.com/School-Spirits-Dead-Samurai-Spirit-ebook/dp/B078YNFD4F/ (Taishi is Japanese)

School for Spirits: Rebel Archangel https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GCXT6WV (Chris Pho is Asian-American)

School for Spirits: Angel of Death https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07K5ZF89N (Luciana is Hispanic)

A Crew of Criminals and Cutthroats: https://www.amazon.com/Crew-Criminals-Cutthroats-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B0BTS5MJLW (Jean-Rene is black... also, I like that Davin is 70+ and kicking ass)

School for Spirits: Almost an Archangel https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SQW9NN4 (Kaylene is African-American)

The Fourth Dragon: https://www.amazon.com/Fourth-Dragon-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B096QB3MBP (Esmay is black)

An Elven Debutante: https://www.amazon.com/Elven-Debutante-Airships-Dragons-Book-ebook/dp/B0BGJLSMZP/ (Julian is Asian; so is Himiko in book 2)

School for Spirits: Pretty Dead Girl https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09HN5ZYK2 (Vineet is Indian-American... I SUPER love Vineet, he's one of my favorites of all time)

Vixen's Chosen https://www.amazon.com/Vixens-Chosen-Fox-Assassin-Book-ebook/dp/B08ZD63ZXQ/ (Kylin is a kitsune, and it's strongly hinted that she is Japanese)

Angels & Outlaws: https://www.amazon.com/Angels-Outlaws-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B0BDGBK95Y/ (Bo Lightfoot is Native American)

A Family of Wizards: https://www.amazon.com/Wizard-80s-Family-Wizards-Book-ebook/dp/B0B478DMNP/ (the titular magical family is Chinese)

Pride & Prejudice & Airships: https://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Airships-Steampunk-Book-ebook/dp/B07G38N7FF/ (Bin Li is Asian)

Whispers of Steam: https://www.amazon.com/Caged-Princess-Whispers-Steam-Book-ebook/dp/B088PF6K36 (leads in this book are a pair of brown-skinned mercenaries, an Asian hero-turned-villain-turned-hero, and a bisexual woman)

Ghost of Redemption: https://www.amazon.com/Ghost-Redemption-School-Spirits-Story-ebook/dp/B096Q9Q5ZY/ (Johnny Wong is biracial)

Little Alien on the Prairie: https://www.amazon.com/Little-Alien-Prairie-First-Contact-ebook/dp/B08PDGS9PC/ (Rain is Native American)

The Wishing Princess: https://www.amazon.com/Wishing-Princess-Magic-Dreams-Book-ebook/dp/B09ZVL578X/ (the MC's eventual love interest, Nils, is a dark-skinned elf)

Palace of Maids: https://www.amazon.com/Palace-Maids-Weird-Portal-Fantasy-ebook/dp/B098TNW5K5 (Dustin is indigenous)

Books with disability representation:

School for Spirits: Rebel Archangel https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GCXT6WV (Anna uses a wheelchair)

The Darker Ages: https://www.amazon.com/Darker-Ages-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B077HVG9YW/ (Alice has quadriplegia)

Vixen's Challenge: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08ZD26H6H (Sara uses a wheelchair)

A Sheriff's Redemption: https://www.amazon.com/Sheriffs-Redemption-Lady-Robin-Hood-ebook/dp/B0784QFSKX (the Sheriff of Nottingham's younger brother, Kinlay, is disabled)

Cinderella & Dragons: https://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Dragons-Complete-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B07D3GLSPW (Terra uses crutches)

Books with LBGT+ characters:

My Lady Robin Hood series https://www.amazon.com/Lady-Locksley-Robin-Hood-Book-ebook/dp/B077LJ9G8N/ (there are many diverse characters in this series, but my trans Little John is most prominent, imo)

The Darker Ages: https://www.amazon.com/Darker-Ages-Aron-Lewes-ebook/dp/B077HVG9YW/ (Jalen/Jai is trans)(Jonathan is bisexual and ends up in a relationship with a man)

The Darkest Knight: https://www.amazon.com/Darkest-Knight-Black-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B07HFTSNDD (Daniul is asexual... and autistic, for that matter... he's another one of my all-time favorite characters)

The Barefoot Barmaid: https://www.amazon.com/Barefoot-Barmaid-Belles-Bullets-Book-ebook (there are a ton of diverse characters throughout the series, but there is a gay couple, and Vee is a lesbian)

(I could have more LGBT+ characters, imo, but there are other authors do it better... actually, I'm thinking of one author friend in particular, and if she's reading this... DO write that gay historical, please! I want it!!)

I've probably forgotten some, but I'd say this is a pretty decent (and growing!) list. Also, many of my series starters are free, so they should be easy to get into!

Whoever you are out there, I hope you check out my work! <3

#disability representation #pocfiction #diversity #kindle unlimited #inclusion #school for spirits #aron lewes #diverse books #lgbt books #trans characters #poc main character #ebooks #diverse fantasy #gender diverse #asexual characters

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chrisgates · 6 months

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TIMING: September LOCATION: Wilks Mill Farm PARTIES: @honeysmokedham & @chrisgates SUMMARY: Chris thinks his interaction with the weird, bear girl is just a dream and Nora thinks the sad, werewolf man is delusional. She tries to help him out anyway. CONTENT WARNINGS: None

Today was a day of exploration. Normally Nora spent her days split between terrorizing townsfolk and hanging out in the forest. Today she was tired of those activities. She wanted to discover something new. As a bear. A Bear because it was funny when people saw a polar bear walking around town. They made faces, called 911, some of them even screamed. Nora lived for that shit.

Nora vaguely wondered if people thought she might be an albino black bear. Her fur was all white, but her eyes were red. Wasn’t that a sign of albinism? She wasn’t sure. She never got through reading the Wikipedia article on the account of the writing being so boring. Only nerds could read wikipedia articles. Anyway, the albino black bear ended up in the farmlands of the area. It was very idyllic. Just like something out of a hallmark movie and postcard. She was going to need to come out here more often to ruin that.

The sight of a beautifully abandoned mill was what she started walking towards. She stopped walking when a pond caught her eye. She could go for a dip, Nora thought to herself, shuffling towards the water. The water looked beautifully undisturbed, and for a moment Nora thought she might like to just enjoy the moment. Staring deep within the flowing waters. She stood there for a while, thinking to herself exactly how she would draw each and every ripple of the water. She was so lost in the moment that she almost didn’t notice something. Was there someone down there looking at her? Nora blinked. It blinked. But it wasn’t her reflection blinking. Nora lifted a paw, trying to rub her eyes to see if she was making it up. She wasn’t. For some odd reason, Nora thought the face looked hungry. She could quite put her paw on it, but it was like staring at a kindred spirit. Ravenous with hunger. She was going to need to bring ham to this lake. Could she afford to waste a ham?

Through the viewfinder, a tall, thin stalk with wide ribbon-like leaves swayed lazily. Atop the organic tower sat a brilliant, blue bulb. Though it hadn’t bloomed, it was still beautiful. Sitting on one of the pairs of leaves was what looked like a ladybug, but it was... Different. The shutter clicked. It was a weird little insect without a doubt, but Chris didn’t think too deeply into it. Variations within a species happened often, maybe not to this extent, but he wasn’t worried — it and the flower photographed well. He was glad he made the decision to wander further from the safety of the Pines; the expansive farmland was beautiful even if the locals’ warnings were a bit odd. Still, he followed them to the letter — getting into trouble was not on the agenda.

And yet trouble seemed to incessantly find him.

Just at the other end of the pond, a good distance from where Chris lay belly down among the tall wild flowers, was a bear. That would have been alarming enough given how open the field was — there really wasn’t anywhere to hide — but what made it so much worse, confusingly so, was that it looked like a polar bear. A polar bear. “What the..,” he whispered to himself and to the tiny yellow flower that lay beneath his chin. With his attention glued to the large creature, Chris tried to press himself further into the grass and blend in; he couldn’t have been luckier to have such a neutral color palette in his wardrobe. While the green was definitely a good few shades darker than the grass and the brown of his jacket didn’t seem to fit with the foliage, it was better than something loud and patterned. Maybe he could get out of this unscathed.

Chris’ heart pounded against the inside of his chest; he could hear it in his ears. How was he going to get out of this? There wasn’t anywhere to hide, there wasn’t anywhere to really run, nowhere close by. The bear would surely catch up with him if he tried to escape. It looked like he needed to lay low for now — but he couldn’t shake the rippling anxiety that crawled up his spine. Not now, he thought, please... not now.

Whatever stared back at Nora within that lake could have held her attention for eternity. The only thing that caught her attention was her own hunger being satiated. The scent of cedarwood mixed with blood and anger drifted toward her on the gentle breeze. A fear scent. A tasty little surprise snack. She took a deep breath, enjoying the meal being offered to her without question. What was there to question? She was a bear in human territory. Humans are always scared of what they don't understand. Now that her concentration on the lake’s surface was broken, the face she’d been staring at disappeared. Nora looked back for a bit, trying to determine what happened to it, but after no movement within the lake, she gave up on it. There was something more interesting to hunt down now anyhow.

Nose to the ground, like every cartoon of hunting dogs Nora had ever seen, she began the hunt. It wasn’t that hard. The scent of fear was flowing from one singular location. However, Nora is nothing if not a true showman. She wanted to put on a show for the lone scared human hiding in the grass. Leaving humans with paralyzing questions running through their minds was pure comedy. Would they be safe laying there? Should they run? Would the bear discover them and kill them? These were all the possibilities that she knew were making their fear double in this situation. Nora made slow lazy circles around the position she knew the human to be in. She was trying to play it off as if she knew he was in the area but she couldn’t quite pinpoint it. After all, hope was a powerful drug for humans. They did stupid things like remaining still when they hoped they wouldn’t be discovered.

Each game needed to come to an end. And just like that, Nora was standing over a human male, nose pressed to the ground in front of him, eyes staring right at him. Nora stood there for a second, before lifting up her head and letting out a yodeling bear scream. That, Nora thought to herself, should be the real killer. The war cry of a bear right before the attack. She hoped he would pee himself. It was always funnier when humans peed themselves.

This wasn’t Chris’ first run-in with a bear given his career as a nature photographer, but this was the first time he actually felt like he was in danger. Distance and a really good zoom were essential in capturing bears safely; he’d be the biggest idiot, otherwise. Even though this definitely wasn’t a fault of his own — he would always check his surroundings before disappearing behind his camera’s viewfinder — he still felt like an idiot. He wasn’t even out there for bears anyway, so the fact that he was now face to face with one really cemented his fear.

What added to the terror of the situation was confusion. Where had the bear even come from? Wouldn’t he have seen it, considering how large and stark white its fur was. Was it a polar bear? If it was, what the hell was it doing in Maine? Did it escape from a zoo? Or was this an albino bear? The creature drew close enough that Chris could make out the flickering of red pigment in the animals’ eyes through the foliage he hid within. It could be albino, and that made a lot more sense to him, so he chose to stick with it. The assumption was safer than the idea of a polar bear loose in New England, even though he wasn’t physically safe in the slightest.

As the bear drew nearer still, clearly intent on finding whatever scent it picked up on, he had half a mind to just get up now and make a beeline for the nearest — well, for the nearest anything. Anything to get away from the sniffling and searching. Instead he sat and waited. Sat and listened. Sat and began to panic more and more as the bear continued to circle and enclose. His ears rang, his throat dried, his skin felt prickly, itchy and generally uncomfortable. It felt like a too wiry wool sweater he needed to rip off.

The moment would’ve been comical if it wasn’t paralyzing. He watched as the bear snuffled closer in a direct line that headed straight for him. He watched its large, white shoulders over the swaying tops of the grass until he could see nothing but its face in his face. This was what cartoons were made of, but Chris couldn’t appreciate the humor. He was too far inside his own head to really tell what was happening, but then he heard the roar and disappeared completely.

The chances of getting out of this unharmed were astronomically small — they knew.

They knew the moment they’d picked up on the bear and now they needed to protect themselves. That was the only way. So they tore through flesh and rearranged their bones, painful still but urgent, desperate. This needed to be quick. They needed to get out. Clothing ripped, giving way to fur and claws. It felt good to be out, but this bear — it would be a problem.

A defensive growl was returned in kind. A warning.

If Nora had a dime for every time someone turned into a wolf after she turned into a bear to scare them she would have two dimes. Which wasn't a lot of dimes, but it was strange that it kept happening. Nora watched as the photographer in the grass, overwhelmed with fear, shifted. It was fascinating to watch his bones distort, twisting, elongating into something new. The animal within him. Nora took notes. Was this how she looked when she turned into the bear? The cracking of the bones, the growth of the fur, the teeth jutting out and becoming sharp points. God, it was cool as fuck. As Nora watched the transformation she felt pride in what she was. It was heavy metal to force your body into a gross transformation process that left you different. And they did it often. Humans could never. They would piss themselves or scream or something. Nora wasn't sure what exactly. She had never shifted in front of a human because the people she kept shifting in front of ended up being wolves.

A growl trickled from the wolf as the fear she'd been feasting on dissolved. Shame. Nora had been enjoying her meal, but this new oddity made up for it. Another wolf! She wondered if he would know the rich man who had broken into her crypt and stolen her sleeping bag. Nora backed away from the growling wolf, giving space and adapting to a non-threatening stance. It occurred to her that this was a fear response. People did desperate things while they were scared. The man in front of her had transformed into a wolf because he'd thought she was going to eat him. Well she was, and had been, just not in the conventional way.

Would being attacked by a wolf hurt? The bear tilted its head as it considered the question. Nora had never gotten in a fight as a bear before, so she was unsure if she would be able to keep up. She also didn't have a desire to fight. Fighting was cheap. Scaring people was the fun part. Plus, Nora considered, she didn't have health care. If she ended up at the hospital because of wolf injuries people would ask questions. Those questions would sound like "Who are you?" and "How did you get those wolf injuries?" When she didn't answer those it would lead to other things. Those things could include being turned in. Being in hiding meant a strict no-hospital rule.

Nora was unsure what it said about her that she was willing to tussle with a wolf as long as it meant no hospital. That was a question for later Nora. Right now Nora was shifting back into a human. Hair disappearing into her flesh, flesh shifting around bones, bones shortening and stacking. Then there was Nora. Just Nora. Standing naked in an open field, hands raised up staring down a wolf. "What giant teeth you have Grandma." Nora's voice was filled with a light chatter as the loss of fur reminded her just how cold it was. "How long have you been a werewolf?" Nora had no doubt this would work. It worked with the last wolf. When this werewolf saw another human standing in front of him he'd chill down and they'd become best friends. Maybe Nora could grab him and the other werewolf she met and start a pack. That was a thing, right? Bugbears were welcome in wolfpacks, right? Probably. Nora wasn't going to question it.

Just as quickly as the bear appeared, it vanished. That was weird. A human woman stood in its place, exposed completely. She didn’t look bothered by that fact or the snarling teeth in her face — or by anything, really. It took him completely by surprise. The wolf backed away slightly, startled; its ears fell back, though it remained on the defensive. Was this a trick? An illusion? What was she playing at? Would the bear return? Where did it even go? The wolf’s attention darted to the surrounding area, then back to the girl, then to the area again. No, there was no sign of it and there certainly wasn’t a hole to fall into…

How could a bear turn into a person? They supposed it could be the same as for them. It certainly looked the same but there was no screaming, no painful cries that danced on the cusp of animal and human as the body twisted and changed. It looked easy for her. Envy sprouted quickly, but curiosity held the reins.

Her voice came in softly, questioning. It was a far cry from the usual responses to the wolf — sounds of terror rang loudly through their recalled scattered memories. How long have you been a werewolf? The question was something they were wholly familiar with — Chris? Not so much. The nasty father knew, the hunter who tormented them knew, but he, the one they were stuck with, tethered to forever more, did not and that frustrated the wolf to no end. How stupid! He refused and refused even with the blood in his mouth, he still refused! Even now, he would refuse if the wolf pushed him out.

That could be dangerous. But this meeting already felt different — she smelled different. There was no fear there. Nothing but her question and outstretched hands. They supposed they could always come back for protection if she did indeed turn violent…

No. No! NO! No no no no no no no! Soft words were lies, they had to be. This was a trick. It had to be. They would just be drawn in and trapped again, wouldn’t they? The animal smell could be a trick, too. They couldn’t do it again, couldn’t let it happen. They didn’t want to be in a cage!! The wolf started to back away more. Its mouth was part way open, teeth still exposed, though their snarls were softer and filled with confusion. It shook its head as it did so, curious and wanting, but still fearful of what might happen.

This wasn’t the same as the encounter in the crypt. As Nora shifted back into a human, the wolf didn’t calm down. A snarl kept his lips pulled tight, eyes fixed on her as if she was a threat. Well. Nora was a threat. Nora knew she was always a threat. The biggest monster in the room. Was her bear bigger than the wolf in front of her? Nora’s eyes swept over the wolf a few times as she tried to decide. Slowly, so the wolf could see her moving slowly, Nora raised her hands up, palms facing him. That was the universal sign of I’m not a threat right? “My bad for scaring you earlier.” Nora’s voice was its normal monotone. Despite staring down a giant wolf in front of her, there wasn’t an ounce of fear licking at her emotion. Self preservation who? Nora knew without a doubt that she would be fine.

“I thought you were a human.” Nora explained, hands still in the air. “I just learned recently, I’m a bugbear.” This was a lot of words, but Nora was proud. Nora was proud to know what she was, and proud to be part of a community. She hoped that the wolf in front of her was also proud of that community. “I feed off of fear. That’s why I was fucking with you. I thought you were a human that I could scare.” Nora got tired of holding her hands up, she let them drop back to her side. “We’re chill right? Like I said, my b on scaring you. I just thought you’d be a tasty meal. Now that I know we’re basically pack mates it won’t happen again…” Nora let the statement trail off. “Maybe.”

It was a big ask to have her promise not to scare someone. Nora had already promised not to scare one person, she didn’t want to see her pool of people she could scare dwindling. The thought was confining.

Nora looked down at the discarded camera in front of the wolf, then back at the wolf’s big paws. “Careful where you step.” She said while pointing down. “What are you taking pictures of out here?” Nora turned her back to the wolf, looking around at the beautiful landscape. Picturesque. Probably the kind of thing you could put on a postcard. “Can I see your photos? Did you get any good ones of me?”

She just kept talking.

It was unusual and confusing — they didn’t know what to do. She was completely nonplussed by the situation. This had never happened before, at least not with the wolf. Chris was better received whenever people came across him after shifting, but the wolf? They either tried to kill it or they ran away and got someone else to kill it. Both were terrible options, neither of which seemed to be present with this supposed ‘bugbear’. A what? What on earth was that? They knew what they were and that was it, nothing else. They didn’t know what this ‘bugbear’ was, but if it was that white bear they’d encountered moments ago, where does the ‘bug’ part come in? It looked like a normal bear to them, albeit a different color. Better for Chris to ask all of these questions.

I feed off fear… I just thought… a tasty meal… pack mates…

What did she think they were? ‘Werewolf’; that was it. They’ve heard that term thrown around and taped to their back, but Chris kept peeling it right off. He kept ignoring it, like it didn’t happen to him - like it wasn’t happening to him. She knew what they were just by looking at them.

She’d turned her back to them, then, her words continuing to flow. Her injury was apparent; maybe she wasn’t in much of a fighting condition? Their safety potential went up, but they were still wary. It was now or never. The pain would be excruciating if the wolf came back so soon after shifting back - unfortunately, they were Chris’ only defensive. This potential ‘pack mate’ situation and answers was worth the gamble.

Transforming from wolf to man or vice versa left them uncomfortably vulnerable. They couldn’t defend themselves while their bones and muscles contorted and stretched. They couldn’t do anything but try to get through the entire process in one piece. It was quite the struggle, and the snapping of bones and blend of creature sounds was a stark contrast to the serene beauty of the nature around them.

Did you get any good ones of me?

That was the last thing the wolf heard and that was the first thing to follow when Chris came to. His clothing lay in torn tatters around him; the cuffs from his flannel remained around his wrists. The first thing he noticed was the pounding in his head - and then the young woman, who looked like she was also nude. His cheeks flushed before he realized how sore his entire body felt. Chris pressed the butt of his palm to his forehead as he tried to sit up. His other hand fumbled with any piece of torn clothing large enough to cover his lap. He blinked at his company, vision still blurry and shivered.

“... Wh..What just happened..? Who are.. you?” Why did you do this to me?, he thought.

When Nora turned around again the wolf was gone, replaced by the mans he’d seen before. This time naked. Scars covered his rightside, coverging around his shoulder and neck. Nora was about to complement them, ask him how he got such sick scars when he spoke. The man’s voice sounded weak, pathetic even. It was a shaky mess with no confidence. Worst of all it appeared he had no memory of his transformation and decided to put all the blame on Nora. This was new behavior. Alan had known who he was after shifting. The two of them had had talks about their various shifting side. How did Nora deal with someone who appeared to not believe her?

“What did I do to you?” Nora gestured down at herself. Naked. Five foot one. An wound still healing on her right side that pained her when she did too much. A knife cut down her left arm also still healing. As a human she was a decoy. The picture of complete innocence. How could someone small and sweet looking be a terrible apex predator such as herself. That was the fun in the illusion. But today she wasn’t using this a trap. Just a tool to calm. Fear radiated off of him at extreme levels. She wasn’t even trying to scare him anymore. She wanted to be part of his pack.

Then they could talk about more scaring.

“You don’t remember turning into a wolf?” Nora asked. Nora bent over picking up his camera. It took a moment to figure out how to work it, but she was a zoomer. Technology was in their blood. Nora pulled up the gallery, instantly finding a photo she was looking for. The polar bear in the field, looking into the lake. Nora handed it to the sad shaking little man. “That’s me. When I’m not human.” She told him. At no times she was human. That was still weird to come to terms with. At all times she was bugbear, but at no times was she human. Even though she looked like them, lived with them and was always among them.

“I scared you, remember?” Nora took a seat on the grass, easing into the position to keep her wound from screaming too much. “You turned into a wolf. I didn’t do that. You did.” Nora wished she’d taken a picture of the wolf. Maybe the guy would believe her. Why else would they both be sitting naked in the field if not for a sudden transformation? “Do you always forget when you transform?”

Chris knew very well that he couldn’t put any of the blame on her — not all of it, anyway. He’d been dealing with some version of this shit for years, whatever it was. Wolf. There it was again, that word. Was that what it was? Too many people found him associated with it, like an invisible target painted brightly on his back where he couldn’t see but he felt the thick, sticky paint dry into his skin. It became him. It was him.

And she could see it plainly, like a neon sign flashing in her face. Chris didn’t know whether to feel relieved or even more worried. He settled on the usual blanket of confusion instead and its partner in crime, embarrassment, was not too far behind. Even if he wanted to believe her (the evidence was overwhelming, not to mention the eye witnesses), he didn’t know where to start (or even if he could). He took things one day at a time — sometimes to the hour, sometimes to the minute. He couldn’t think that far ahead.

Her questioning continued, which did help to keep his attention on her rather than his own discomfort. You don’t remember turning into a wolf? Chris shook his head automatically — he didn’t even know he could (could he?), in all honesty, not before Wicked’s Rest. It would make sense, if it were true. The missing nights, the irritability, the hunger. Chris felt his stomach somersault.

Despite the situation and ever swirling uncertainty, Chris turned his gaze to his camera’s viewfinder. A white bear. A white bear. Its large, pale silhouette stood stark against the green field. There was no mistaking it. And she said that was her? When she’s not human? What the fuck? Was he high? Was this some sort of chemical warfare? Did he eat something poisonous? Maybe he was dreaming — that had to be it, right?

Chris covered his face with one of his hands and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He shook his head in the hopes that this would go away like one would clear an Etch A Sketch, but there they sat, naked and in the grass, with talks of bears and wolves.

“This isn’t happening…” He mumbled into his hand and shook his head again. “This is a dream or I’m.. I’m fucking hallucinating.. Am I on something??” The grass felt real. The air smelled real. She looked real. Chris wiped at his eyes and gave a cursory glance around him again — same field, same farm, same girl.

Do you always forget when you transform? Chris had to wonder if he was being Punk’d. “Wha-just.. What are you talking about?”

This was sad. Nora tilted her head to the side as she watched this strange adult man sit and wallow in his own confusion. The only words coming out of his mouth were ones of denial. Nora bit her lip, doing her best to remain civil. The feral beast inside her wanted to rear its head. It smelled the blood of the weak and it longed to bare its teeth and sink deep into the man's flesh, using words to hurt him. But she couldn't do that. There had been a time in her life where she was the reflection of this sad, confused man. A time where she had to work it out herself. Sure, she was born that way, but Alan had told her wolves weren't born. They were made.

"When were you bit?" Nora asked. She tried to make her voice gentle and caring, instead it came out as a softer monotone. The trained bite of indifference lingering in the edge of her tone, a constant companion to her demeanor. "I was born like this." Nora tapped a hand to her chest. "I'm sure it's a shock. To be human and then not human. But who wants to be human?" Nora was trying her hardest to be kind and compassionate. This was not her natural state of being. "You're not hallucinating or dreaming. I'll prove it. Don't get scared." Don't get scared, as if it was easy as that. To Nora, who was never scared, it was. Which made it impossible to comprehend how to this man, it probably wasn't that easy.

Nora took a step back, ensuring there was enough space between them. "Don't get scared." Nora repeated. The transformation rippled over her body, ripping her skin, breaking her bones, twisting her muscles. As quickly as her body broke into pieces, it repaired itself. Flesh stretching across the bones as they elongated and grew. White fur around. Her nose elongating and turning into a muzzle with sharp teeth. Hands forming into paws ending in sharp claws. Nora let out a loud yodel of a roar at the end of the transformation.

The polar bear turned around in a circle, being sure to take its time. Look at me, it seemed to say. Every now and then she would stop and strike a pose. She was putting on a whole performance. At the end of her prance around, Nora got closer, dropping down onto the ground next to the man. Her head lowered in passiveness. The polar bear was close enough to touch. And she would let him touch her cute bear ears, once. Any more would be too much. After all, all her power was stored in those cute little ears. This should be just enough to convince him this is all real.

When were you bit? The question immediately brought forward a memory he wanted so desperately to forget. There had been a handful of animal attacks in Chris’ life. Most, if not all, of them, he managed to get out with a few scrapes and bruises. They were more scared of him, after all. But there was one, all those years before, that nearly took his life — and part of him wished that it had. Flashes of that day buried itself. Teeth, blood, fur, those eyes. He was bit then. He was bitten everywhere. He couldn’t recall the pain — it all happened too fast. The ripping of his skin was the main attraction and the scars along his right side were a constant reminder. But the pain eluded him.

Is that what she meant? Did he get bitten and effectively cursed like the fictitious wolfman? The wolf who had so graciously and permanently marred him all those years ago didn’t look questionable — at least, not in a fantasy type of way. It was big, scary, especially to a teenage boy, but he couldn’t remember much else. He didn’t want to. He didn’t believe in werewolves (or anything else that went bump in the night), but could there be something to it? His life had been abundantly shitty before that wolf attacked him thanks to dear old dad, but there was no recollection of sleepwalking or memory lapse or waking up covered in blood and scratches before the attack. He couldn’t recall the memories of body aches and dislocations — because there were none.

There were a few movies that played with the idea that being a werewolf was a curse, something generational. Magic, even. And there were others that suggested it was more like an infection or parasite. Now, Chris didn’t believe in magic or fairy tales, but an infection was much more plausible. It made sense for something body ravaging to be passed on through blood — or by saliva through a bite. Right? It was too much for him to think about right now, especially as she continued on, calm and easy as she could. He did appreciate that — the situation was an unusual one, but he was certain there would have been much more confusion and irritation if she would have been anyone else. He valued her for not making this worse.

“I don’t…? I am human…” came his next words, but they held a strong uncertainty that started to creep in the longer he sat out there with her. “I… How? I can’t be anything else…” If he was, then maybe his dad was right. Don’t get scared. Chris felt his heart start to thump harder. Prove it? “Wh…What are you going to do?” Prove that she really was a giant bear and that he really was some kind of wolf monster? Sure. His disbelief superseded any thought that may have favored the idea, thinking instead that she would only prove that they were indeed hallucinating (or maybe even dreaming!).

Don’t get scared, came her mantra again, but it did little to prepare him for what he would see. While coming face to face with an immense bear, a near perfect killing machine, would be enough to bridle him with absolute terror, seeing a human woman transform into one was a whole other story. Was it fear that he felt? Horror? Disgust? All of the above? Chris did his best to back away without actually getting up; he didn’t think he could. Her body breaking and shuffling into a new arrangement was like watching disaster unfold — he couldn’t look away despite the sheer fright that welled up within him.

Chris had lowered himself closer to the tall grass, as if that would help to hide him in case this went south. An instinct, one that stretched out and prohibited him from running. If the bear — if she — were aggressive, he didn’t stand a chance anyway. Freezing was probably the best thing he could do. He watched tensely as the immense creature turned about, as if she were showing off her new form. That funny little thought, paired with the gentle behavior, helped to ease some of his anxiety. He sat worried and unmoving as the bear lowered itself closer but that slight spike of fear waned when she didn’t do anything. Nothing but sit there and look expectant. It would have been comical if Chris wasn’t still confused — and scared shitless.

He did look around, one last time, hoping that this was somehow a prank. No hidden camera crew, no enthusiastic host, no one pointing and laughing at his misery — nothing. Chris’ throat was so dry. “What the fuck…” he whispered more to himself, though he was pretty sure the bear could hear it anyway. How was any of this real? Despite everything in him telling him that it would be a really bad idea — the Animal Planet had receipts, after all — he needed to know. He ignored everything else about their weird ass situation and hesitantly reached towards the bear’s head. Honestly, if this was some long con just to eat him, he could at least cross ‘pet a bear’ off of his bucket list.

A single finger found its way to the soft fur along the top of one of her ears; he didn’t move anything but his breath and that finger. Chris drew back stiffly and whispered again, “what… how..?” This had to be a dream, right? It felt real.

The man was a wealth of fear. It dripped off him with every moment. It was a cloud of emotion that wrapped tightly around him. How did it not consume him? Nora took a deep breath, allowing herself the joy of his offered feast. Humans were scared, Nora knew, but she’d thought werewolves would be braver. Except, this werewolf had no clue he was a werewolf. “Human?” Nora repeated the word, chewing on it as if it was a curiosity and not a norm. There was an unfamiliar feeling deep in the pit of Nora’s stomach. It twisted itself around. Was this, Nora bit her lip. Was it pity? No. Nora had pitied people before. People were not her; they were scared little creatures. This was kind of like pity, but it was sadder. It was more understanding. There was a word for it, and she hunted for it. Going through years of vocabulary worksheets that she knew she should remember. Compassion. Compassion?

A few moments of thought. Nora let herself mull over this sensation of compassion. Was it because there was a reality where this could have been Nora? Refusing to accept the bear inside her, never finding out she was a bugbear, always living in fear and confusion? Probably not as much fear. But she had feared herself that first day. How could she not. Her first transformation had been a shock. Nora studied the man a bit longer. Compassion. She could work with compassion. “You can be something else.” Nora answered. It wasn’t unkind, but her monotone never allowed for much emotion. He would have to interpret it the way he wanted to. “I’m something else.” Nora added that last bit as if it was an after-thought. It was never an after-thought. These past few months had made her difference clear. She had been forced to confront herself in ways she’d imagined before. Her tremulous identity was always at her forethoughts.

After the transformation, Nora was treated to a fresh wave of delicious new fear. She devoured it hungrily, as if she’d never eaten before. Because to Nora, all fear was a delicious treat that she relished. Even if it came from the sad man who Nora genuinely felt bad for. She could attempt to help him, while helping herself. Right? There was nothing against that in the rule book. If there was, well, no one had ever given her the rule book so they could fuck off with it anyway.

Nora let the man get adjusted to her new form. She let him fall back, panic, then eventually come over. She felt the soft brush of a finger against her ear. Honestly? That was a good choice. All bear ears held a magical appeal that Nora couldn’t deny. Nora was even kind enough to keep her mouth closed. Normally, she’d think it would be so funny to let out a startling yell. Bear yells sounded like yodels. And Nora could yodel so loud. But that would wreck an already broken man. Where was the fun in that? Nora maintained the bear for a bit. She wanted him to have enough time to come to terms with its realness. Then she shifted back into her human.

Her human was often mistaken as less scary than her bear. But Nora knew the truth. The human was a murderer, and the bear was just a bear. But she figured it would soothe the man into calming down again. Besides, bears were not good at talking to humans. “How.” Nora repeated the word so that he would remember he’d said that before answering. “I…” Nora bit her lip, working it in her teeth as she tried to come up with the answer. “I want to be a bear. Or. I just think about being the bear. It's just.” Nora shrugged. “It just happens. I’m a bugbear. I was born like this.” Nora was forthcoming with information, because she always wished that others had been forthcoming with information when it came to her. Nora wrapped an arm around herself as she kept trying to talk. It wasn’t the nudity of the situation that felt weird, despite the two of them standing naked as the day they were born. It was an open conversation about the bear. A conversation where she was trying to be helpful and open. It made her feel vulnerable in a way that was unfamiliar to her.

“I’ve never been anything else.” Nora added. “I don’t know if werewolves are born, all the werewolves I’ve met were made. It must be jarring. To be one thing, and then another.” Nora’s fingers tapped awkwardly against her arm. This was the place where she was supposed to say it gets better. And maybe try her hand at some comforting words. But Nora was barely proficient at conversation. Comforting words were hard to find. She didn’t know if it got better. The werewolves she had met had complicated relationships to their wolves. Nora had a complicated relationship with her bear, but her bear had never taken away her humanity. Her humanity just hadn’t existed.

“Isn’t it hard?” Nora asked, pausing for a second before continuing. “To pretend you’re someone you’re not? Human. I mean. I don’t know when you got bit. Maybe recently. But isn’t it hard to pretend you’re human? Lying to other people is one thing, you know. But lying to yourself?” Nora shrugged a shoulder, a habit she’d picked up recently. “That seems harder.”

No!

No, this couldn’t be real.

People couldn’t change into animals. They just — they couldn’t. If they could, then what did that mean? That there really was a bear just a breath away from his palm. That her words and observations were true. That he too could turn into something, into an animal, like her. A wolf, in generality. Werewolf, to be specific. A creature, a monster, forced to turn in the moonlight, bloodthirsty and hungry. It seemed like a horrible way to live. Chris couldn’t see himself in that way, living like that. He ran, sure, but that was for completely unrelated circumstances. He wasn’t a werewolf. He couldn’t be. He failed to see the hammer hit the nail on the head.

So this had to be a dream. If he wasn’t a werewolf and she wasn’t a bugbear and there were no cameras or crowds to be seen, then this wasn’t real. That was the only logical solution left, the only thing that saved him from having to face his life and the horrors he’d both endured and unleashed. His heart felt so heavy in his chest and the baby soft fur that lined the tippy tops of the bear’s ear felt so real — the brain was amazing, wasn’t it? One moment, he was surrounded by absolute fear from meeting a bear face to face and the next? He was having a conversation with a young woman, who just so happened to also be that same bear. Yep. This definitely had to be a dream. How did he not see it sooner?

Normally it was a nightmare that took hold. Chris lost count of how many times he’d woken in a cold sweat, debilitated by the terror that gripped him. While this had started sort of the same, very unassuming in nature, it turned into something different. It wanted to follow the same nightmare path that they all took, but then the woman appeared and everything changed. Her words, though to the point, were soothing. Knowing that he wouldn’t be harmed did help, whether by her admission or assuming that this was nothing but a figment of his sleep deprived imagination. That made it easier to at least answer her thought provoking questions and take in everything she gave him. It made it easier to sit still instead of wanting to run.

He wondered if her admission and willingness to answer came from himself, or maybe he just mentally reiterated some movie he watched a few nights back. The brain was a sponge after all. He had to wonder if he’d watched this scene play out before. “You…” Regardless of the dream, Chris’ throat still felt incredibly dry. The way his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he opened felt palpable. This was only a dream. “So you’ve always been able to just… be a bear? Whenever you want?” She seemed like she liked it, like she was proud of what she was. He wished he could feel the same. Or maybe he did but he wasn’t aware. That’s what therapists were for, but the last one he had, well — he’d rather forget it.

It must be jarring. To be one thing, and then another. Chris instantly thought back to his childhood, having to be both child and a regret. It was exhausting. He felt a pang of familiarity in her words, and a pang of sadness. They hit him hard, truths too painful for him to even think about, let alone to utter out loud. He closed himself off more from her, both for modesty and protection. This was only a dream. Of course the target was hit; of course his brain knew him better than anyone else did, including himself. Lying to other people is one thing, you know. But lying to yourself? That seems harder. He felt that familiar heaviness that settled thickly in his chest and throat, threatening to choke him of his words and push forward tears. He forced them back, but knowing they were there, even in dream land, made it harder to respond.

“I don’t know what else to do….” Chris admitted, finally. “I don’t… I can’t face the truth.” He didn’t want to. It was too terrible, even for a metaphor. Even for a dream.

This man was delusional. Nora had been able to work that out pretty fast. Denial ran deeper than him then it did across Egypt. Still Nora found her heart bursting as she watched a parade of emotions dance over the man’s face as he struggled with whatever realizations Nora was forcing him to confront. Doubt began filling her. Maybe she should have let it be. As a bear, she should have walked away the moment he’d turn into a wolf. Or after when they were human again, she should have let it be. Who was she to force someone to confront their truth? Not the person who could help fix it. Not when she could only see a sad broken man shutting down in front of her, naked and afraid.

Nora let out a heavy breath, sprawling out on the grass and staring up at the sky above them. They both needed a moment. A moment to breathe and relax and embrace the moment. Nora didn’t know what this man was thinking, other than it was a lot. An all consuming a lot of thinking that appeared to be ravaging his internal monologue. Was it too late now to back down? Nora didn’t know the answer. What she knew is that she wished someone in her life had told her the truth sooner. That there had been someone in her life that knew and helped, instead of having to deal with the bugbear of it all by herself. Honesty was the only thing she could offer him, even if it hurt.

“I am a bear and a human.” Nora answered. The bright blue sky of day shone down at them, hurting her eyes. “I don’t think I understand werewolves.” Nora admitted. “I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I was born like this. I can be human or I can be a bear but at all times I am both. And no matter which form I am in, it's still me.”Nora was slowly learning that it wasn’t the same for werewolves. That their wolves and their humans were separate entities. It must be confusing, two minds sharing one personage. They didn’t even share the same form. What could they have in common to hold them together?

A silence drifted between them again. Nora did her best to let him go through it by himself. To let him have the privacy to face the inner demons she's released upon him until he spoke again. A fresh wave of sadness rippled over Nora with the words. I can’t face the truth. “Okay.” Nora moved into a sitting position, looking carefully at the man in front of her, naked and exposed more than physically. She had inadvertently ripped open his biggest wound, it would appear, she wasn’t going to ask him to face it too. “I think that’s your choice.” Nora got to her feet, stretching out her limbs. “When you’re ready, feel free to find me. I’m on that website this town is obsessed with. Honeysmokedham.” Nora looked away, eyes surveying the empty field. “You’re not alone, and you never will be alone. Not if you don’t want to be. I don’t know much, but when you’re ready, find me. I’ll help you anyway I can.” Because really, that was the only thing she’d ever wished for. Someone who could help her understand. She could do this for him. She wanted to do this for him.

“I’ll see you around. When you’re ready.” Her body broke. It shattered. It folded. It grew. It reformed. The polar bear walked away from the delusional wolf, without glancing back. The polar bear wouldn’t go far, it would walk as far away as it could, before coming back as a human. The human would watch over the sad broken man and make sure he got home safe before going her own way. It just seemed easier this way. Better to help silently, then keeping herself in his line of sight, and shattering her world views repeatedly. Nora thought it was the least she could do.

I can be human or I can be a bear but at all times I am both. And no matter which form I am in, it's still me.

He didn’t want this pep talk or inner therapy session or whatever it was — whatever his mind was trying to do, he didn’t want it. But maybe he needed it. No. No, there was no maybe. He knew he needed this and yet he continued to fight it, fight against it. And he knew why. He was scared. He was chicken shit, a worm too low in the dirt to see the light. He was safer in the dirt, so he thought, despite the plagues of nightmares and constant upheaval of life and home. Outside of the dirt, he was gross, weird and destructive. He was an animal, a disease and annoyance and a thorn in the side.

How much easier would it be if he just gave in to it? To absorb her words and to live by them? Would he learn to live with the monster inside, the one that was fabricated — his ‘werewolf’? He was too cowardly for that. All his years of running and lying was evidence of that. But he could change, couldn’t he? He could try. But trying got people hurt. Chris hugged his knees. What was he supposed to do?

“I don’t know, either..” he started, entirely uncertain if he even wanted to run down that hypothetical route. He thought maybe he’d been born like that — a monster. Metaphorically, it would make sense if he thought about his father’s words. But the scarring he touched absently in thought made him doubt. Werewolves. Were not. Real. Hypertrichosis, sure. Being raised by wolves, maybe. But a full blooded turn into a wolf-human hybrid by moonlight kind of werewolf? Chris didn’t think so. Because then it meant that is what attacked him all those years ago in the woods, what had almost killed him if it hadn’t been for his sister. It didn’t explain his father’s hatred for him, but it would explain everything else.

Was that the answer? Was that it, given so freely to him by a rather strange figment of his dream? Why a younger woman? And why did she look the way she did? Why a bear, and why a polar bear of all things? What was wrong with him? Maybe if he posted his dream online, someone might be able to decipher it — but he was also scared of what they might say. Photographs were so much easier to deal with, and people weren’t as scary through a lens.

I think that’s your choice. His choice to suffer, but she was right. He chose to remain in the dark rather than deal with this head on, like she so easily could do. But she was born with it, isn’t that what she said? She had always been a bear. Was that supposed to mean something? If she were a figment, then his inner self had always been what it was. And it was fine with that, happy even. They didn’t know anything else. And then there was Chris, or his dream version (he was still convinced he was dreaming) who still seemed to have trouble — the werewolf, unable to change when he wanted to, a slave to the moon, to his feelings…

Oh what the fuck?

Her words tore him from the spiral that threatened to pull him down, grounding him back to their bare picnic in the field. This was such a weird dream. Website? Honeysmoked.. Ham? His look of confusion didn’t last long, not when she kept going, offering her help further. Her kindness and hell, even her patience, was enough to sting his eyes with emotion. There had been a handful of people that had helped him throughout his years, only a few who had shown the kind of compassion this… hallucination showed him. Whether it was real or not, he was touched. The back of one of his hands went to press against his now running nose as he mumbled out a ‘thank you’; a genuine expression, one that was muddled with tears he urged to keep from falling.

And then she was off to leave him in the little divot in the field. Well, the bear did — the transformation was just as startling as it had been before, but at least he knew she wasn’t going to hurt him, as weird as a bugbear might be; or rather, as weird as his imagination might be. Regardless, he was left feeling loved in some strange and unusual way. With a sniffle, Chris sat there for a moment longer, and picked up the remnants of his clothes and his camera. He did what he could to be decent, in both action and his physical form, as he traversed the field to head back to the small, motel room. He didn’t see his dream angel, didn't see where she went off to or how she kept an eye on him, to make sure he was safe. But he felt hopeful, regardless.

#thread #tr: [ sister bear ]#tr: nora p

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teabookgremlin · 1 year

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hello lesbians and also others who follow me. you all know what fucking time it is lets fucking do a yellowjackets 02x06 recap

- first of all taivan in the sex ed scene hehe my girlies more pre crash moments of them PLEASE, i’d love a flashback to like their friendship/start of relationship

- lottie being horrified at misty showing up at the cult so real. imagine you’re just trying to vibe w/ your homoerotic friend then said friend’s other homoerotic friend shows up? a rough day

- “it honestly would’ve been better if she just had sex with him” SHAUNA MY BITCH WORST MOTHER OF THE YEAR

- mari saying she hopes shauna doesn’t die top five things not to say when your friend is about to give birth with no medical care in the middle of fucking no where

- nat was wounding me this episode, she has so much guilt and hates herself for having survived its just awful

- van rightly pissed about tai’s sleepwalking (especially kiss). she clearly does not want to be dragged into this and honestly valid but bc she’s van she’s gonna let herself be dragged in

- “you’re married taissa there’s no us anymore” everything van says to tai just leads me to want to know more about how their relationship ended bc clearly she’s not happy that it did

- misty being unable to focus on the birth bc of crystal was so sad, the bit where she saw the blood on her hands that was intercut with crystal’s death was great very nice scene

- lottie’s psychiatrist is so sketchy. like the encouragement of the visions is so bizarre and just bad vibes

- thinking that “it” influenced travis, nat, and misty to return to lottie’s life

- “it was part of us” “the god of that place, we did terrible things in it’s name” WHAT DID THEY FUCKING DO also furthering my agenda that the antler queen is it’s own spirit/entity rather than one of the girls

- tai trying to flirt with van BITCH YOUR WIFE IS IN THE HOSPITAL YOUR KID IS GOD KNOWS WHERE

- TAI PUTTING THE DEER BONE NECKLACE IN SHAUNA’S HAND YEAH THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF like it saved van maybe it will save shauna and i mean hey she didn’t die so

- jackie’s voice, i knew she’d have some sort of presence during birth and definitely liked this especially given it was in the dream

- “yeah the past where we thought being happy was something that was possible not what happened” OW?????

- van having given up on love </3 her relationship with tai really did a number on her huh. representation for the girlies that never get over anything ever

- lisa giving nat the fish and that whole conversation was so good their friendship is important to me

- jeff just fucking jamming to “fuck the police” was hilarious. yes they need to tune down the jeff this season but i did enjoy this bit

- this is not plot related but honestly so glad the baby did not survive bc those few minutes of baby crying were making me insane i cannot handle the sound of babies crying (one of many reasons i will never have children lol)

- loved loved loved shauna’s monologue to creepy cop man, just saying out loud that literally her whole life is how it is because of guilt just UGH melanie did amazingly (as always)

- dream lottie being weird with the baby so fun so good “we need to feed” —> “he needs to feed”

- callie continuing to be so proud of herself about lying to the cops this is her season for real

- i should’ve known the baby was doomed the second it started to nurse like that and shauna being so loving to it were my real red flags that something was weird

- “if you see any barrels of kool aid powder in there consider me on call for an extraction” van i love you. also her being like lets leave and just go to ihop or something

- misty asking if taivan is back together she’s so real for that

- the moment of van seeing lottie and lottie seeing that they’re all there ugh i cannot wait to see the interactions between them all next week

- OK dream baby eating time: my favorite part was nat, the way she was wiping the blood from her mouth when she saw shauna, the guilt in her eyes, just perfect. also ben being the only other one who looked fully human/guilty in the scene. and then the rest of them being so animalistic i just loved it. bummed we didn’t get real baby eating but this is a good compromise i think

- shauna saying “why can’t you hear him crying” was so fucking heartbreaking sophie nelisse needs all the awards. i did not think i would be satisfied with the baby being stillborn but i loved the way they did it. i do hope that next episode we do see the body, specifically for one reason and that is i want shauna to keep seeing jackie in the baby. like she looks at it once and sees jackie’s eyes, next look it has her nose, etc. maybe even give it some sort of animal features at some point. i just want her to not be able to look at the corpse and see a baby. i want her to look at it and see jackie and her own guilt. next week’s episode is called “burial” so i’m assuming they will be disposing of the body and i want shauna to look at it as it’s being dispose of and just see jackie laying there instead. do you see my vision? i think it would be very fun. either that or they actually eat the baby. also we better get some placenta eating next episode bc not eating it would be a huge waste

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets s2 #yellowjackets spoilers #lila’s yellowjackets recap #anyway yeah i enjoyed this episode #definitely a few things could’ve been more fucked up but i think they did well anyway

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moonstonedrawsrandomly · 9 months

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Old Faith 6🟢

It didn’t take long for the Bishops to return from their search of the forest again. The whole cult was looking for the missing Bishop. Many people were still searching for him in this moment. Shamura stayed behind this time in the event that he returned before they do.

“Please, on Gaia’s soul, please bring him back safely. Bring my baby brother back safely”

He thought. While he was thinking that, Leshy had just teleported back to his little palace with Noelle on his back. He had to act fast to avoid detection.

“Come, hide here for now”.

This was clearly a bedroom of some sort. A bedroom of a forest dwelling bishop. Vines everywhere, some very cool nicknacks and other stuff. She didn’t get a chance to take it in, because she was stuffed in a crawl space temporarily.

“There is some food in there, don’t be loud. I will be back as soon as possible, okay?”

He said. Noelle nodded. Leshy then pulls his bed back in front of the crawl space. No one really comes inside besides him. He gets out but before he announces himself, he cuts the stitches from his abdomen to make him bleed. Some spots have healed, except this one. Kallamar would have to look at this one.

“B-brother…”

He said weakly. Bishop Shamura turns to not see Heket or Kallamar. But Leshy! He leaps from his throne to his brother.

“My brother! My baby! Are you alright?!?”

He said. He was bleeding from his abdomen, so he was hustled to medical care immediately.

“PHYSICIANS! QUICKLY!”

He shouted. Heket and Kallamar returned shortly after. Apparently they weren’t allowed to scold him until further notice.

While Kallamar was treating him, he was also lifting some residue from his body. Someone tried to treat him

“Whomever tried to treat you was clearly unskilled”

“It clearly was enough to get me home”

“ you are in no position to say that! We were worried sick about you!”

Heket said sternly. Leshy looked away

“I know, this…girl convinced me that my injuries were too dire for me to leave so I stayed.”

Everyone’s heads perked up. Someone actually was able to break his stubbornness?

“Well, if that’s the case, whomever it was did stitch some very important areas closed. Not well, but they are closed and not infected. I guess…it does beat finding you dead. Alright, that should do it. Now I want you to rest and not leave your palace for a couple of days-“

“Weeks”

“Oh, right. Your grounded until further notice”

Usually Leshy would go against it, but then he remembered that he literally had a lamb in his crawlspace so he didn’t fight it. Again, also unusual. Leshy leaves to go back to his palace with the assistance of Heket.

“He’s acting weird, right?”

Kallamar said. They both nodded.

“You think that girl…that girl did something to him?”

“To Leshy? Nonsense! I’ve never seen him lavish attention on anyone like that. You think we need to find that girl?”

Shamura shuts all of that down

“The cult is too weak right now. Leshy having a little playmate isn’t on the agenda unless it impacts his work. I’ll go check on him when I have time”

They said. Leshy returns back to his palace and sneaks into the crawlspace. Now the crawlspace is honestly pretty cool, according to Noelle. Sure it’s a bit dusty but it was honestly like a hidden room. It has a bed, a chest, a few books on a bookshelf, some old board games and some mementos. He finds Noelle with a book in her hand.

“Oh hey! What’s up? Check this out! This is the lady I saw that gave me the wings!”

She showed him the book. Just more confirmation that she is telling the truth. It was Gaia.

“Wow, even you got to meet her. What was she like?”

Leshy said as they spoke. She told him about Gaia, only what she knew, since she didn’t know much about her. Gaia, then hearing them talking, chimed in from Noelle’s back

“-so let me get this straight, your trapped somewhere after Shamura sealed you?”

“Yes, there is a lot of the story that we haven’t explained yet, but for the time being, this is how we can communicate”

Leshy understood, but soon he hears someone calling him. It was Shamura

“Go, Noelle and I will be quiet”

She said as Leshy bolted out and moved his bed back to its original spot. Noelle was now back behind Leshy’s room. She decided to take a nap, since she technically didn’t eat or slept since they left. She didn’t realize she was tired until she hit the pillow.

TBC

#cult of the lamb #redemption au #cotl fanfic

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dawningfairytale · 1 year

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okay this is a really weird comment but i hope they give kitty a label. what i mean by that is: i see a lot of media in which characters who aren’t attracted to one gender are “sexually fluid” (mentioned in the show) or “don’t want to label it”. this is absolutely fair, and these experiences should be represented. however, people who choose to use a label (even queer as a label) are the people i know more of but see less in media. and i think that figuring out what label works for you is a common queer experience, though certainly not a universal one. i also think labelling it is in line with kitty as a character, but that’s just me. it’s great they depicted a girl having multisexual feelings, and id like them to go further with that (even, or especially, if my label isn’t used for that bc pan poly and omni folks yall get the short end of the stick when it comes to representation)

but honestly, even if they don’t, that’s the first time i’ve heard “pan” on tv used as an identity for a person non-derogatorily, and probably the 3rd character i’ve heard “bi” used for. so, somehow, they’d still be ahead either way the bi agenda everybody

#xo kitty #xo kitty spoilers

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incarnateirony · 2 years

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the funniest thing on this is now 2p0 can't decide if i had a source he can fingerpoint at or can't. from moment one he tried to correct me about who was even in the room and i'm like. bro. ok fine. you're right i didn't have anyone in the room. i just know who came out bitching and acting like a crazy cunt cult together. if u wanna say they were different people because we confused which bitch was drunk in the middle of a lobby, that's fine.

but now he's going AH HAH we can fingerpoint at SOME RANDOM PERSON IN THE M&G, and go, they said it! which one fuckin is it, pat. You can't report leaking something you claim didn't exist. And you only know because Gayle and Miami talk to you. Because i repeat. I don't leak M&Gs. you're the one that described these bitches on your blog as your sources. you leak M&Gs every con. I only do show/bts leaks.

i told you before. my objective was never getting into the M&G. my objective was to watch who went in and went out to confirm that description as matching miami and gayle, to which they helpfully added a public NDA and threat incident. Not my fault they were so mad about cockles they went over it enough times people could figure out what was said.

Which, by the way. Was it said or wasn't it? Because if you're trying to finger someone for saying something specific, then... isn't that you saying... it was in fact said? like how do i have eyes in the room and not at the same time, and how are you fingering someone that may or may not exist as my eyes about something you claim wasn't said? What in the blue blaze fuck logic is this? really weird inconsistencies going on here buddy. your dumb drunk friend yelled shit on main, and your own ego doubled you down into this.

but uh, thanks for indirectly confirming that it was said, and you were lying--which also further reinforces that one of them have spoken this to you, repeating an NDA violation you're trying to pin on someone else, because you just realized your entire leaky wincel-laced con pipe empire could burn just because people chose to pay attention.

"We are trying to sort out". Who's we, bitch? The bitches behind NDAs? you weren't THERE, bitch, how can they talk to you about what's happening? How the fuck do they think that's gonna go when they report you and then everyone points at these posts we're screencapping because you can't fucking shut up. I'm gonna give you a few days to fuck up, shoot yourselves in the foot, and send them this post so they ALL tie to your fucking blog like the cunts you are. Who are the mean girls trying to blame for yelling their shit on main, bitch? You confirm that's a real statement after lying and I have receipts a mile long on these two as your leaks, what the fuck do you think you're gonna do. Please line up like fish in a barrel and email creation. like a fuckin. volunteer list of hate trolls involved turning themselves in.

your own reactions are giving you away dude. I keep saying i ain't in the room i just hear shit in public then you confirm the shit is real which confirms these bitches are talking to you which confirms this shit happened, how do you not get this. You literally talk about gayle and miamigal as your sources on your blog, it aint my fault they threatened people and broke their NDAs on main and it aint anybody elses.

like pre verifying your NDA breakers with a fuckin checkmark for Creation, jesus christ.

and honestly fuck every enabling bastard that listened to that grifter call other people a grifter. He's a real world incest supporting creeper associated with the worst of the sunday crowd feeling entitled to immediately break NDAs while threatening people's physical wellbeing, and that's the agenda he has always followed. He always sews divisions, always casts discontent against the truth, and exists purely to maintain a narrative and a bubble for these festering pustules to try to haunt the fandom.

And a fuckton of hellers fell for it.

#vancon #creation #creation ent #ce #supernatural #spn #oops 2p0 couldn't shut up and blew up all his friends

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grellestie · 1 year

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for my second model, im thinking about making either sebby or doll. i feel like sebastian would be easier but his outfit is already making me kinda sweat as well as the toggles id want to include. which would be

-> eyes (not too big of a deal)

-> mouth (sharp vs not sharp) which is something idk how to even DO-

-> the hand contract thing (it seems like it'd be easy but man sometimes vroid does NOT play nicely when it comes to hand things)

-> maybe an outfit or two to further my sebagrelle and sebagni agenda i mean my what (probably just the normal butler outfit, without the jacket, maybe some blood, maybe it's maybelline)

-> then there's animations and idk which ones id even WANT to include. same with idles. i only have an anime girl set and, while very funny, none of them really would fit the stink demon

-> also the fact that idek how n.sft i can even GO with his outfits/expressions without it turning REALLY suggestive REALLY fast. compared to the models my friends' made, it'd be tame but at the same time i could go all in and then get the world in a LOT of trouble

with doll, i dont think it'd be too big of an issue since she doesn't wear too much weird shit... besides her circus fit... like my to-do list with her would be

-> make her normal outfit (no biggie)

-> make a toggle for her burn scars from That One Scene from book of circus

-> Her Hair in the circus fit

-> her circus fit In General

-> cry

and i think im justified in thinking that would be annoying to texture but it's also something i really want to do. who needs a life when you can make models for all four people who are in the black butler fandom AND play vrchat?

...or i could just make vaguely sexy nun grelle. which would be funnier. a little less work (besides making The Outfit as well as funny toggles that would not kill me) but it would be funnier and take considerably less time.

#the modeling chronicles #unimportant rambles

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initiumseries · 1 year

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Hey! so idk if this has been said before but julie plec or whoever came up with all these pregnancy plot lines on tvd really gave strong pro-life vibes. like there's caroline who is impregnated without her will, she essentially does not have the choice to not keep it bc the emotional fallout would be crazy and they're the last of the coven and it's all super tragic. then there's hayley who is pregnant with the child of literally the most abusive man on the planet and Elijah decides that this baby will be their saving grace, and there's no question of whether hayley can have an abortion (iirc) then she moves in with what is supposed to be the most nefarious family which just further puts her in a situation where she can't safely make the decision to not have the child if she so decided.. like they really seem to be pushing an agenda here imo, the option is just never on the table for this or that reason

In general i hate when tv shows give an accidental pregnancy to a woman and the word abortion isn't even mentioned.

do u have any thoughts on this?

love ur blog btw <3

Thanks anon!

Yeah, so, having been around the tv block, I can say, the pro-life vibe from TVD based on their pregnancy plotline choices aren't unique to TVD. Almost every single American show I've watched that introduces a surprise baby plot, abortion isn't on the table. In more modern times, let's say the last 10-15 years, abortion has become peppered into dialogue as an option, but never as a solution. It's usually a miscarriage, or in the case of, Gossip Girl for example, the fear of pregnancy, but then not being pregnant. And tbh, I think that's just the general social conservatism, though. I find that abortion, just with regular people is a touchy topic, so writers tend to play it safe, or they overplay it (TVD) and do some really weird shit that crosses some boundaries when they aren't good writers. I can only think of one show where the woman actually went through with an abortion, and it was an Australian show called Please Like Me, and I liked that, she quietly had her abortion, and wasn't like, bouncing back and happy the next episode, it sat with her for a couple episodes, and she wasn't really interested in talking about it. It was just something she had to do. I thought that was a decent, balanced approach. I would like to get to a time where abortions in tv are looked at the same way any other medical procedure would be, but with the state of things, I'm not sure that's possible lol.

As for TVD specifically, I think part of the problem is, Julie & co are absolutely horrific writers, and their understanding of consent is OBVIOUSLY murky. They have a history of messing with the consent of the women on the show (Elena & sirebond, Caroline and compulsion etc). So when Haley got pregnant I rolled my eyes SO hard, because it was also meant to be like, Klaus finally has a family, and it's fraught and there's anxiety of keeping this baby, blah blah. But honestly, any sane woman would've just gotten an abortion and disappeared lol. Caroline being nonconsensually impregnated with the twins was like...the stupidest plotline to me because I kept feeling like, there HAD to be a better way to execute it, but it goes to show how bad they are at writing. There were a million ways to execute that stupid plotline that didn't force Caroline to give birth against her will. Julie ripped so much from btvs but somehow missed the Dawn plotline where Dawn was just THERE, and as viewers we were all like...???? But to everyone else, they'd always been there? Or the children being introduced and left in her care? Like a BUNCH of other ways that would've also been more narratively interesting than THAT. And because of the lack of consent, and all those things, it comes across as ESPECIALLY pro life because abortion isn't even an option, it's an unwanted and unplanned for pregnancy, and yet still the woman goes through with it. I don't know that that was their intent, because I don't know much about their politics, but the optics are awful. It's tempting to say that they're too stupid to see what they've done, but I think, even if they are, it doesn't make it less problematic.

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