#fucking hell im so anxious

[toastsnaffler]

this rat is driving me insane I keep hearing it scratching behind my wall I'm going to kill myself if it keeps this up

#made up a eucalyptus spray to put around the skirting boards so hopefully thatll get it to fuck off. #i wish it would just fucking die man ive never wanted an animal to die so much in my entire life #there are traps right there!!!!! bitch!!!!!!!! #i think im gonna order some caulk online to make sure there are absolutely no fucking cracks around the skirting boards in my room #bc i can tolerate it being temporarily in the kitchen. but not in my fucking room where i sleep man #if its not dead in a couple days im gonna start persuading my flatmate to call an exterminator ik its expensive but my sanity is fraying #fucking hell im so anxious #ok im gonna take this bin out. and then just breathe for a bit. and maybe play a videogame to chill out #i kind of want pizza.. maybe ill nip out to aldi again #.diaries

[solarpunkani]

Me: I wanna make a punk vest so bad but I can't find any good vests or jackets to modify in the thrift store

Gardening Server Homies: why not just turn some old jeans into a jacket?

Me:

#out of queue #ani rambles #ID NEVER CONSIDERED THAT AN OPTION BUT NOW IT SEEMS SO OBVIOUS????? #when i get back from the Friend House Sleepover Extravaganza Bonanza I might have a new project #hell if I can slyly drop by the house to get my sewing machine and the old pair of jeans I'd been holding onto out of 'what if need later' #then maybe i can do it while im here. less chance of my parents judging me #technically i could borrow my friend's brother's sewing machine but uh. anxious. what if I fuck it up somehow.

[starstaiined]

i live to spread the jackienat agenda, you don't even understand the amount of backstory and headcanons i envision for them

#listen listen listen the unexpected close duo no one fucking understands #nat has seen jackie at her worst. she's seen jackie at points even shauna hasn't #she's seen Pathetic JackieTM (the genuine honest anxious kid overburdened by expectations that almost never comes out) #and her bleeding heart suddenly Understands a hell of a lot more about jackie taylor #she looks out for jackie. more than that she never spills those secrets. she knows how much image means to jackie #and that's the kind of kindness and solidarity that lets jackie breathe easy. and opens the door to mutual vulnerability #i have the whole scene in my head for the first time and how it unfolds from there #which is why when the wilderness comes it wretches them apart so violently #suddenly shit is different #jackie is so worried and focused on shauna she burns the only other bridge she has #nat being the one to put jackies nonws to rest #im in ruins #wails #yellowjackets #jackie taylor #natalie scatorccio #jackienat

[whumpshaped]

"on a lady whump kick"? nice dogwhistle for the fact that you WANT TO KICK WOMEN. in REAL LIFE. you MONSTER. (I'msosorryIhopeyou'rehavinganicedayandtumblrisntpullinganyshit)

ANON THE WAY MY STOMACH DROPPED. PLEASE. DO U WANT ME TO DIE OF A HEART ATTACK. AJHFKDJSHFSJKDH STOP

#I GOT SO FUCKING ANXIOUS WHEN I SAW THE WORD DOGWHISTLE #VERY FUNNY ASK BUT STARTED OUT WAY TOO REALISTIC BASED ON THE HATE I GET SOMETIMES IM SCREAMING #FUCKING HELL #i am having a nice day thank u #ive written like 3k words for homewrecker #im halfway thru the 5th chapter #its gonna have 6 i think #at most 7 #asks

[orcelito]

Very stressed bc I missed the renewal email by several weeks for my apartment so instead of my rent going up by over $100 for next year it could go up by $200! :)

They're gonna see if they can make an exception for me & I'm supposed to get a call about it sometime today. In the meantime there's a showing scheduled for my apartment for Tomorrow (aka how I found out I missed the renewal period!) And I'm on like 3-4 hours of sleep and unless I can get a renewal set in stone today I'm gonna have to get my apartment presentable within 24 hours. Fun fun fun fun!

#speculation nation #negative/ #i looked at the current prices of other apartments and there are a few that r cheaper than what id be paying #but then we get into the issue of Moving and Locations and like. monetarily? i dont rly want to have to drop some thousand dollars #on deposit shit and general apartment acquisition #not to mention moving ITSELF which is its own special hell. i really dont want to. #so sure yes im financially capable of taking on an extra $200 per month if i gotta. i dont wanna but i can. #but until i get this shit signed i currently dont have housing guaranteed for starting in june #worst case scenario i have some fall throughs so it's not like im gonna be homeless or anything #but it still has me so unbelievably anxious and i am NOT having a fun time #haha ha ha ha ha ha #kicking myself for missing that Fucking email. god fucking damn it.

[cicidraws]

once again i mkae a small suggestion that would be a whole lot easier for my dad, going off of his thing he said he was going to do, that had something to do with the water damage on the floor in the bathroom

and he goes "youre not my nagging wife, youre my daughter, stop telling me what to do"

i think i can fill a book with the things he says on a regular basis thats fucked up to me. tbh no wonder my mom fell out of love with him. he is not a role model to look up to in any stretch for relationships either. but im stuck with living with my piece of shit dad.

#shutupcici - #im already anxious enough today tomorrow and days after and im not going to be well. i got a thunderclap headache from sheer anxiety #this is what i run into everyday #he also said something in the hallway that sounded once again extremely hurtful but i didnt hear it clearly enough. hes always gotta have #the last word. andim tired of it. im so fucking tired of being his punching bag. no one can correct him or make even a suggestion or anythi #he always has to be correct doesnt he #showed crocodile tears recently after putting me through hell again and knowing damn well he makes my problems worse. and he does this agai #just as i predicted: youll do it again

[librius]

sob whimper cry

#stressed out bc i fucked up at work. overall its fine and a fixable mistake but im like. so anxious bc of it #it was my fault but it wasnt Only my fault but hell if anyone else is gonna hear abt it unu

[devilsminionpdf]

men will have finals less than a week away and think it's perfectly reasonable to fall asleep at 6 and wake up at 2

#someone euthanize me. fucking hell. and funnily enough a major reason i cant sleep is because #i keep staying up all night thinking about [REDACTED] #AND im not even anxious about the exam. and this is not for my faith in my preparation being well. so what is this #i usually have panic attacks before exams. and it's good thats not happening. but why is it so. that's out of character #shaking my brain at knifepoint what the fuck are you planning. why is [REDACTED] the only thing on your mind #apples.txt

[royalberryriku]

//vent

So I'm anxious and frustrated as fuck for several reasons, but at the top of the list right now is how my mum followed me around this morning and, over and over and over, kept bringing up the person I have told her, several freaking times now, makes me go into a complete panic and continually just kept not stopping with "oh I'm sure it'll be okay"s and other versions of trying to reassure me (or herself I think) that I'd be okay to let in said family member who traumatised me immensely as a child and just. As if me agreeing wasn't enough of a reason to just say what to do then just drop it, she just...doesn't stop bringing it up? Following me around, saying things to reassure more herself than anyone that this is Fine and I'm so Brave™ for this when really I just want her to stop bringing him up and making me more and more anxious each time she follows me around like she's lost and needs to make sure I'M okay when she's the one who's pushing her anxieties on me. The entire conversation was just "look it's gonna be fine" but really? We both know full well that I'm never actually fine with him around and just doing this because I have to, but instead of just letting me get this all over and done with, she needs to vent to me how SHE is anxious and feels guilty and remind me over and freaking over how everything is Actually Fine and Great, the way she usually does when she doesn't want me to say it isn't because then she'll just double down.

#vent #personal #god I'm so tired. #I'm honesyly glad it's happening this week at least when there's 2 protests around to go to and avoid home at least #I was fine before she said all this like I'd just mentally prepare and be numb but no #she needed to make herself feel better and less guilty #and it's so fucking infuriating that I can't just do what I'm told once and then be left alone she has to vent all her guilt too #And now im anxious frustrated and endlessly exhausted all over again fucking hell I just want to sleep #and just skip to next week

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

#miranda talking shit #I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble #Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better #Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age #As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into #The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better #But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image #Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it #Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis #Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal. #I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors #I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of #An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been #Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens #I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame #But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault #Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way #I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me. #Negative #Abuse

[kissmefriendly]

Oh god oh god so with Koslowski’s phoenix story, the introduction of Patience and Arthur again pressing the point that it may be the last time he’ll ever get to tell this story… Is Arthur gonna choose the same as Martha did and not take any more Patience??

#because if so I’ll be crying for days #yeah the funny fake death podcast is actually about medically assisted death! #at least that’s my reading #getting to choose for yourself how and when you die being the ultimate choice?? something you can control!? #im shocked at how gently this story is being told holy FUCK #I’m sorry I’m so tired #the amelia project #I haven’t stopped thinking about this #hell get to die on HIS terms #is Arthur the phoenixe from the story??? #metatextually I think so yea #FUCK! #im unfortunately experiencing an emotion #medically assisted death is something I’m a) extremely passionate about talking about b) never brought up in fiction?? #and I know that may not be the point AT ALL and I’m projecting my own feelings and experiences like a mf #but please just let this mf weep for a bit #I’m so anxious #tap spoilers #the amelia project spoilers #spoilers

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

Hmmm thinking about. weapons. Bc i realised half my frames don't even have signature ones

Alden i've already established as the Xoris User. Otherwise he prefers to use his own electricity. For guns I might just end up assigning him the Basmu bc it's not something i bring to high level stuff but it's Fun and i also don't bring Alden to high level stuff. I know the Fulmin would be more fitting for being electric and nice looking and all but i don't Like the Fulmin

Lanius is also very melee-heavy. Warfan enjoyer, so Quassus. They also like dual swords tho. If gun then Felarx: cool and pointy and hits like a truck

Higgins on the other hand does Not like melee (in contrast to the fact that most of the times i've died as Lavos have been bc i went rabid on an acolyte and forgot that i am not, in fact, immortal). If he has to, he likes hefty things like the Gram Prime. Hell, he prefers hefty weapons in general. Shotgun user. Cedo, Kuva Hek

Kodiak Would Like To Not Fight, Please. If he has to wield a weapon, he prefers slightly insane shit like gunblades or the gaze kitgun (laser beam go bzzzz), or snipers to keep everything away from himself, tho his aim is shaky. If push comes to shove he can always smack someone with his cane, but he Likes his cane, so he'd prefer to avoid breaking it

Kohlrabi and Keiko both have their amps and don't typically fight melee but jic, North has taught them both how to wield a knife. They eventually brought the two of them down to Cetus and let each of them pick out a knife of their own, which they both now carry. I'm sure they will come in handy someday

North has their weapons they had during TNW - Sirocco, Rumblejack, Nataruk. They technically share the Nataruk with Higgins bc he's also okay with using it. The Sirocco runs on void energy now tho and Higgins makes fun of the Rumblejack for being a buttering knife, so those are exclusive to North. (Despite finding them impractical due to size, they also have some interest in staves/polearms, bc they Look Cool To Use. They mentioned this to Hako randomly Once, to which Hako said that he does actually fight with a Bo! And then North was too intimidated to bring it up again for a Month bc they didn't know if Hako was excited to share or if he wanted to be The One Stick Guy in the group)

#north is so like. needlessly intimidated by hako its kinda hilarious #wouldve Loved to assign alden the cedo but #1) its so big it looks like hed topple over if he held it #and 2) its literally the signature gun of lavos. im just gonna let higgins have his shotguns #he is short but Strong so he likes his heavy hard hitting bullshit #kodiak thinks the rumblejack is cool as hell btw #like damn kid you built this from scrap!! and it electrocutes ppl!!! fuck yeah #kata's chatter #oc: alden #oc: lanius #oc: higgins #oc: kodiak #oc: operator kohlrabi #oc: operator keiko #oc: drifter north #oc: hako #hako is Excited to potentially teach north about stick nonsense btw #north is just anxious about everything ever all the time #basically hako wants to bond with north real bad and north thinks he wants to kill them in secret

[frazzledazzlin]

thsc fans made me a kinder person wowie

#was talking with my gf some days ago and i have gotten less violent in my head HELPDGF #no bc personal rambles if ur not interested idm but #last year fucked me up so bad everyday i used to get strikes on insta for my private posts to vent it out #its the funniest shit to look back on tbh Help but i genuinely look back on some posts and go wow this motherfucker rly made me a violent- #person and he acted like all that happened to me was my fault #i seriously do not want another message from that fuck on ny birthday again i will make his life living fucking hell #this december will be full of copperright and thsc . i have not felt so emotionally vulnerable in so long LMAO #thanks to these little fucks i want to throw them around i love yhem #it took some silly gentle people of this fandom for me to realize perhaps i should tone down the violent humor #bc a friend in another friend group lately also opened up that hayy i think im. not ok with playful bullying anymore and i felt bad even #though i dont talk much there Fuck you timezones #i will admit the excessive usage of tone indicators in sticktwt seems too much to me but not a huge issue overall #i am but a reserved fucked up aunt of the thsc fandom that ppl seem to rly enjoy the reactions of when they post copperrifht HSGSSGD #i commissioned 5 people to draw copperright i think that's enough to tell the damage done to me by thsc #coping mechanism for when ur sick for a literal month without a day's break 👍 #anyway erm maybe i love u guys what are u gonna do about it #i cannot for the life of me talk in dms without being anxious but tumblr and discord servers are what save my life #i am here but hiding behind a pole cartoon style #gootbye

[weirdlizard26]

im going to straight up die i think we have a cockroach.

#wl26 #this is like. my personal hell. in the most literal sense. #i want to throw up when a fly lands on my food and have to throw away the entire piece even if it only sat on a tiny spot #a cockroach would literally be the death of me #im going to die here #wl negative #heres 3 fun facts about me #1) i have a deep deep fear of insects #2) i overwash my hands obsessively to the point of having skin issues #3) i obsess over how clean my food is and get anxiety attacks if i think i ate something ''dirty'' by accident #enter: cockroaches #i dont have much else but im so fucking anxious im gonna throw up

[thesoundofmadness]

oh god

#we're just on the way to the hotel but i feel so fucking alive #i mean im anxious as hell because. what if we crash or the car breaks down. #but im going to see two incredible bands live in a city and sleep a night in a hotel #the docs #this is what i live for

[quasieli]

I'm so tired and so anxious. I had a drs appt like a week ago and she prescribed me some anti anxiety meds, which is great, but my insurance is a piece of shit and requires any maintenence scripts be ordered through their mail order, instead of allowing me to travel 5 mins to my pharmacy to pick them up a day or two after my script is renewed. So guess who still has to wait another 2 days for their meds?!

#Med Talk #Ask to tag #Eli Speaks #thank gd i at least got one of my scripts i was about to run out of on the day I ran out #but fucking hell #im so anxious rn #like frozen kinda anxious #and im really hoping this new med will help with this freezing feeling #but gotta wait til Thursday cause fuck me i guess #why has everything been so hard lately #i just want one thing to be easy please #i can't even fully enjoy shit that makes me happy #cause the second i stop im anxious again #and thats if i can focus enough to even do the thing in the first place