#fuck you todd boehly

[chelseajackarmy]

#cole palmer #cold #ice cold #football #chelsea #chelsea fc #futbol #soccer #goal #hat trick #stamford bridge #sw6 #nike #royal blue #pride of london #we hate Tottenham #fuck you todd boehly #poch out #blue is the colour #footie #40 million #golden boot #chelsea football club #chelsea legends #🥶 #cole cold palmer #England international #Premier league #fifa #efl

[petitkante]

man won 3 high profile trophies whilst juggling deadwood and cry baby, entitled players and chelsea sacks him because he was “too focused” on the football aspect of his occupation.

you truly can’t make this shit up.

#anyway. fuck chelsea and fuck todd boehly #and if you wanted thomas sacked fuck you too. #chelsea fc

[lastonthebrakes]

Chelsea finally have something to be proud of

it's been... 39828 years......

#like the vibes overall are just so much better than they were last year #which is a huge step forward in and of itself #i'm still keeping my expectations very much in check #mostly due to the lack of experience in the squad (@ todd boehly buy someone over the age of 22 you dumb fuck) #and i was NOT impressed by the poch appointment #but he might actually have that dog in him #based on some of the things i've seen so far #but yeah the cooking in the preseason has been absolutely delicicous! #i still think we need another striker and we're very light in midfield #and most importantly we need to stop negotiating with brighton no matter how good their players might be #ask tag #anon

[garciapimienta]

chelsea please

#i hate it here #todd boehly i fucking hate you #chelsea fc #cfc #ars v che

[uniteds]

part 2 of stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:

for part one go here.

1. the bayern board deciding to sack nagelsmann before the most important game of their season because he showed up to work on a skateboard

2. related: nagelsmann finding out he was sacked through social media while he was away on a ski trip

3. also related: nagelsmann getting dumped the same weekend he lost his job. 

4. todd boehly getting advice on what to do with chelsea from james corden (known west ham fan) and hiring frank lampard

5. tuchel and conte fight

6. the ghana coach taking a selfie with heung min son while son is sobbing after losing in the World Cup

7. the five minutes where both spain and germany were out of the World Cup

8. mourinho being in (and being sampled in!) stormzy’s music video

9. psg’s director of football going down to the field to curse them out

10. aguero turning up to the world cup celebrations in a full kit 

11. the pope summoning atletico madrid’s physio all the way to the vatican to treat him

12. arsenal bottling the title (2023 version)

13. rebekah vardy tried to trademark the phrase wagatha christie

14. luis enrique saying ferran torres will never play football again if he did the pacifier celebration after scoring

15. jose saying the only club he doesn’t have any feelings for is tottenham hotspur

16. mason mount having a stalker

17. jack grealish discovered what a camel is

18. the saudi team getting new cars during the World Cup

19. cho gue sung telling ronaldo to fuck off and then getting flooded with marriage proposals 

20. the princess of spain having a crush on gavi

21. luton town promoted so now you have to walk through some guy’s garden to get to their stadium

22. the gio reyna and gregg berhalter usmnt saga

23. the pogba/mbappe witch doctor saga

24. ac milan sacked maldini and now the players all wanna leave

25. conte’s press conference where he basically said “it’s the history of the tottenham” 

26. barcelona winning the league at espanyol and then the espanyol fans chasing the barca players off the pitch

27. the one pitch invader who pushed eddie howe

28. ac milan having to answer to their ultras after a match

29. calum wilson and antonio laughing at richarlison for flopping

30. klopp doing his hamstring and adding to liverpool’s injury problems

#tp #manchester united #fc barcelona #bayern munich #sorry i just wanted to get part 2 out

[harryswinks]

why would you throw away your legacy at spurs FOR TODD FUCKING BOEHLY

#poch look at me this isnt you #stacey speaks

[protect-daniel-james]

ao3 wrapped: 3, 5, 15, 17, 18, 30!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I have to say The stands of Villa Park. It opened a whole new territory for me. I'm shocked I never thought of this concept (ha ha) earlier. I'm shocked I didn't think of this when writing my academic thesis - because I was writing exactly about this, the connection between a club and a stadium and its city. That's probably why I also feel so strongly about these Enfermo del fútbol series.

And, honestly, I just writing these stories about Unai, because....it would explain so much of his behavior, but also make him truly special. And, without getting too personal, I think writing about Unai like this, and reading a little bit on conceptum/objectum sexuality, sort of also worked for me personally as a way of...realizing that sexuality and being sexual is nobody else's business and you can do whatever you like/want to try? Like, it's your body and your fantasy and your imagination, and if you want to fuck whatever you'd like...go for it? Unai staying behind at the stadium, dropping to his knees and kissing the random seat does not hurt anyone, and it makes him happy. So why not? Better than Jamie Jamie cousin Jamie doing A Bad Thing....and needing to control another person. Unai's relationships with clubs, football, stadiums, trophies is definitely healthier and more equal lmao. I just love that. I love how it's like a completely different level of fanfiction?

And yeah, I'm also shocked and happy that other people read these Unai fics! Because I know they are weird, I'm well aware of that. But I hope they are also somewhat wholesome?

5. What work of yours got more feedback than expected?

I was always surprised at the amount of kudos and comments for the Grizione fics - because there's very few works for them in English (although they have so much material and seem to be quite a popular and reasonable ship!) so I just always assumed maybe people weren't into them. On the contrary, maybe me being one of the few who write for them in English makes it easier to harvest the kudos and hits and comments, he he. Honestly, I stopped looking at hits and kudos the moment I started writing obscure ships - I know that the number of hits and kudos does not guarantee a quality fic. And I'd much rather write an obscure fic about something I'm really into than force myself to write Messi/Neymar or something similar that I just don't find interesting at all.

And the three Scamacca/Paquetá fics! It was a very random pair - and it will never come back again lmao but it was fun. I always got such angry vibes from Gianluca - and Paquetá with his dances was the perfect foil. Funnily enough, I started the year with writing a bit of piss kink with them....and look where we are now. So yeah, I was shocked anyone was reading that.

15. What WIP are you taking into the next year with you?

I hope to finish the two WIPs that are halfway done and fully thought out - Ange/Poch and Unai in Russia. Hopefully before Christmas. And maybe work on the 3rd chapter of Fate up against your will so that could also be done by the end of the year?

I have so many ideas that I haven't even started working on, so I suppose they will happen either in late December or next year:

Unai staying at Villa Park after the match against Legia, worried that the stadium was hurt - wanting to feel what the stadium feels, wanting to be there, feel as one. Unai self-meditating himself into a state of feeling like one with the stadium (get ready for the concept of mental orgasm).

Jamie-centered/POV fic. Jamie remembering Dad doing things....saying things...showing him things....Jamie thinking of Franko. A LOT.

Daddy Abramovich/Sheva on the boat, with Sheva's wife as well. A lot of grooming, although *nothing* happens, really. Nothing at all.

Daddy Abramovich/Franko on the boat. Nothing happens, really. Nothing at all.

Todd Boehly/Graham Potter. Once I figure out how.

Eddie/Jason origin story. Or maybe more like... JT origin story. Why is he like he is, why is he so loyal, so desperate, so devoted, so willing -

the Mikel/Unai academic!AU! - I'd rather keep it as a one-shot because I can't handle more multi-chaptered fics haha

and probably many more that I haven't even put down on paper as ideas ...

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

I think this has to be a tie between Franko and Unai! One Sad Round Man and one Greasy Basque Vampire. I love them both, albeit a bit differently.

Franko is such a sad character, a product of his parents, influenced by all the shitty things that Dad did and said in his childhood - and I'm surprised more people didn't build on this well-known fact that his Dad was toxic. It provides such a good background to the character - the repression, the need to be like Dad, to please others, to be complacent - it sets up the whole tragic story beautifully. Honestly, I might know the most about Franko out of all footballers now because of the extensive research that's been going on since early summer. And I don't even like him.

Unai, Unai, my sweet anxious Basque vampire - I truly fell in love with him this year. Here I have the advantage of being almost the only person who writes fics about him - so there's not much to work with/dispute. And all the other reasons are mentioned in the response to no. 3.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Probably the Redknapps, especially Harry in the recent fic! I can't figure out what is his *problem*, what is his reasoning, what is his motivation - - - With Jamie, I wasn't initially sure what is he actually like, but I think now we figured out ha ha. But Harry...idk. Also, the fact that he's this old, old-school, English, probably very inappropriate guy...I don't want to make him a caricature, but also I want the sleaziness (but also the charm! that's why people love him!) to shine through.

Also, Mikel in Txoria txori. I still need to...get more into his motivations and reasonings. I don't want him to just observe Unai, I want him to also show his personality.

I'd say writing any "new" character is a challenge because I'd hate to make everyone the same. I want every single character to have their own characteristics, to be different from others, to behave and speak differently, to do different things - I don't want my Ashley Barnes to be interchangable with Sheva or Scamacca lol.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

That there will always be people who will read the most twisted and fucked up and weird stories that I can come up with (and I'm so happy with that!). This year was very liberating - I just wrote whatever I wanted, honestly, and seeing that still a few people read and liked it was so nice! I write a lot of self-indulgent fics but obviosuly a feedback is always welcomed!

[mountymase]

I litterally agree with you this injury bullshit is all a cover up his being frozen out fuck todd boehly!

🌝🙃

[hellomasee]

the thing is tuchel was sacked after 2 bad games bc he didn’t befriend boehly & answered his imessages & went to brunch with him & sucked his dick but potter… we are 11th and he is still here FUCK THIS

tuchel got sacked at 8am after winning game and potter is safe after all these disaster of performances. we are supposed to believe he lost the dressing room but players don’t have a single bad word to say about him+ they are still in contact. potter definitely lost the dressing room and these bad decisions will cost us domestic success. let’s take a second to realize we would already be in relegation zone if tuchel didn’t won these games before he left. people are saying players are letting him down which couldn’t be further from truth. i was lost for words when i saw in which positions he played them yesterday. how do you play rlc in position where reece is at his best? that has nothing to do with players. not to mention subs he made after we were 2-0 down.. i’m glad mason stayed on the bench because he doesn’t need to be associated with this game. if potter is so obsessed with xg and stats,he should’ve known that mase has more goals against villa than rest of team todays. these new owners are our version of glazers fuck this. todd AND potter out NOW. they are destroying chelsea’s success and everything we won so far,we are a joke to other clubs. even more importantly,without an actual managers so many expensive signings and key players’s talents are rotting and it’s inevitable that some of them leave especially if they sack potter bc they have to pay him 50 millions.. i think it’s safe to say domestic season is over but if potter can’t beat aston villa how do we have a chance against real madrid? we have so many loyal proper chelsea talents and i know it’s gonna be so sad when they leave but honestly i want what’s best for them because i don’t see things changing here anytime soon.

i ageee x

[daydreamingleclerc]

I reckon Emma Hayes has too much power at Chelsea and if Boehly (however you spell his name) sacked her the fans would have him out within a week

lmfao yes that woman is a woman adored by female and male fans alike if she’s sacked todd boehly should fuck off

[chelseasblues]

it all went downhill when todd fucking boehly decided to replace thomas tuchel. it was clear as day back then that the dude had no single idea of what football is. he just came in fucked everything up and now he's living his little happy life. fuck you lad

[chelseajackarmy]

ALFIE GILCHRIST

First senior goal for Chelsea Football Club at Stamford Bridge

#alfie gilchrist #football #chelsea fc #goal #celebration #pride of london #chelsea #stamford bridge #sw6 #first goal #futbol #soccer #nike #chelsea legends #senior goal #squad #everton #win #poch out #Premier league #photography #sport #footie #pensioners #john terry #cole palmer #fuck you todd boehly

[itsnotgray]

my chelsea rage rants, that no one probably wants to hear (but tumblr is my release):

todd boehly (don’t know how to spell it, and don’t really care) and his merry men have not a clue how to handle a club like chelsea.

where’s the head of the medical department? fired. where’s the first physio? fired. where’s tommy t? fired. scott mclachlan? he left. all of that since his takeover and uh-oh… hmm, i see a pattern.

soccer, football, whatever you may know the sport by, is certaintly not boehlys usual sport. he’s been in baseball for a time now but this is a whole new ball game, both literally and figuratively. everything won’t be solved by money, and yes, i know abramovich was notorious for his spending, but hear me out. enzo fernandez’s price tag? not particularly worth it in my opinion. yes, he had a great run at the wc, but the wc is every four years. it’s a much bigger stage, and there are some talents notorious for being great at the national level but not at the club. and to top it off, he’s a midfielder? midfield doesn’t need to be chelsea’s priority- someone who is good in front of the goal should be. yes we’ve got kai, yes we’ve got hakim, yes we’ve got raheem, but the inconsistency in front of the goal is what’s killing us (not saying that applies to all of the forwards, but in ways, it can).

i have not a thing against graham potter. but yet again, he doesn’t know how to handle chelsea. honestly, i’m not sure how good he was in the first place. boehly shoves tuchel out the door, essentially puts a flyer up in town, and potter happened to be the first one to call. i pity him a bit as well. he was appointed to a team built by another man, a bunch of puzzle pieces he didn’t have the ideas for. however that alone can’t be the reason he’s allowed leeway. hell, his replacement at brighton, roberto de zerbi, was in the same position as him. what do you know? he’s brought brighton to 8th. 8th, and chelsea are 10th. let that sink in.

will i probably sound crazy for saying i miss roman abramovich? yes. but here’s the thing, whether you admit it or not, he had probably the best tactic to date. if you couldn’t live up to the standards that chelsea just are as a club, get out. and it wasn’t like all were a malicious “you suck” mourinho had his two stints, as well as hiddink. he aided in establishing the standards we can hold chelsea to now, because we know we can succeed, we know we can win, and as much as many may deny, the success of the club is reliant on who’s running the show.

but, despite ALL of this, i love this club unconditionally. i’m forever grateful for when i accidentally switched channels years ago to a chelsea game, and fell in love with this sport. my loyalty to this fucking club extends beyond conceivable limits, however it pains every part of me that we’re struggling in ways we haven’t struggled in years. i, and many others know, chelsea can be better, they are better. we went from winning the fucking champions league almost two years ago to 10th in the prem. not exactly sure what recipe of accumulative disaster is to blame for the fall from grace, but something’s got to change.

#chelsea fc #anyways the loss to man city today triggered a chelsea fueled breakdown #i love them anyway though #and by them i don’t mean harry potter

[hspn]

Pay him his fucking money

Friday:

According to report, Barcelona were told they could not register new players until they resolve their financial situation.

Brother: Was Koundé really worth this? Why were they competing with us if this was going to be the outcome. I hope they just create a team that cannot play in La Liga but only in cups. Me: Ha ha, you dumb fuckers! I would love it if we took De Jong on loan, but made Barca pay most of his salary. But honestly, I hope De Jong stays (which is what he wants) and gets all his money. De Jong FC. Brother: We should buy him and just only offer to pay his salary. They cannot register players but they are buying Alonso? I love the Leeds dude called them out and said they better pay us by Sept. 2nd. Me: Yeah, dude, and they're called dirty Leeds, so I would not fuck with them over payment.

Later:

Me: Watched that interview with the Leeds owner where he was like PAY ME MY FUCKING MONEY ON SEPTEMBER 2ND and now I have mad respect for that guy. He said he was embarrassed he had to tell Boehly the deal was off. I hope he and Mr. Todd are Barca-hating best friends now. Brother: Yeah, it’s a great interview. I’m shocked he did it. We had the best offer and their owner had to back out. I cannot believe that despite not having money, they are still going after Bernardo Silva. Me: I bet it was a calculated move to make sure EVERYONE knew he was putting Barca on notice. I mean, they can go after whoever, what I can't believe is that players still want to go there knowing they might not be able to play ahead of a World Cup. Apparently only César has seen through this.

#Andrea Radrizzani #Frankie De Jong #César Azpilicueta #Jules Koundé #Marcos Alonso #Todd Boehly #FC Barcelona #Chelsea FC #Leeds United #La Liga #hair sports #HSPN #soccer #football #sports

[lastonthebrakes]

fuck you todd boehly joke’s on you bc you can never take Amazing full-time SCENES as Chelsea win the Champions League for a second time! 🏆🏆 away from me

#full time whistle! #CHELSEA have won the champions league!!! #9 years after the first one #the famous old trophy is heading back to west london #BLUE IS THE COLOUR IN PORTO TONIGHT #AND CHELSEA ARE ON TOP OF THE WORLD #anyway #took a few hours but it's finally hitting #chelsea fc

[confettihipster]

football chat: rangers being so unhinged about the queen when they defrauded HER MAJESTY’S revenue and customs. get fucked. 

i need the football press to understand that booing the national anthem and prince william at the fa cup final is different from booing the dead queen which is different from booing the stillborn baby of a rival player. you can tell that only one of these things is truly abhorrent because it’s the only one that didn’t happen

yesterday chris sutton went on about the ‘ageing daley blind against mohammed salah’. blind is about a year older than salah???? anyway me and ian kept calling him ageing daley blind. 

i got very angry scrolling through all the radio stations on bbc sounds to find bbc wm as the regional stations are in alphabetical order and then i just realised. you can go backwards from radio 1. 

also i think todd boehly should be in jail