#freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Tough Crowd" (Uni AU P. 1)

Really embracing the catty queerness of these fuckers LMAO. Anyways, here's our little intro to Ravenguard Univeristy and Tav's living situation :)

Tw - mention of alcohol

@justporo (If you want me to tag you in part two, leave a comment!)

It's finally move-in day. After getting your Associate's degree at some small-town community college, you finally transferred to Ravenguard University, probably through sheer luck. Perhaps someone dropped out of the waitlist, but you're here now, moving into the place that'll be your home for the upcoming semesters. Soon enough you're asked for your name, and given the key to your room, quickly being ushered to the elevators. The volunteering students are clearly stressed by all the newcomers, so you don't exactly blame them for seeming impersonal.

You read your key, which has deemed you to be in room 717. Sneaking your way over to the floor buttons, you lightly tap 7, and place yourself in one of the empty corners of the elevator. After dropping off a few strangers on lower floors, you finally get to your destination, and find your dorm room shortly after. When you unlock the door, you immediately hear arguing.

"I need the room with the desk! I have far too many exams to study for. Besides, you don't seem like the studying type anyways."

Two women are yelling at each other, one with jet-black hair and the other with piercing eyes and an intimidating demeanor.

"We're all here to study fool."

"Well, as far as I know, you don't want to be a doctor. Besides, aren't you just here as an athlete? Or, my bad, were here as an athlete?"

At this point the ginger is fuming, fists clenched, but simply takes the room they were arguing over and slams the door, locking it immediately. The med student slams her fist on the door.

"Just wait til I tell the RA about this Lae'zel!"

She sighs, clearly still trying to let go of her anger. When she turns from the closed door, she finally realizes you're standing there.

"Sorry about that. Roommate problems, am I right?"

The pale woman nervously chuckles. Dressed in all black, she looks ready for a funeral, well if funerals were comfy and full of college students.

"Uh, yeah. Please don't tell me you're going to be arguing like this every night."

"Well, her and I don't particularly get along. I'm surprised housing even let us be in the same room after how many issues we've had. Though I'm sure I'll learn to tolerate her better in our living situation."

The woman ponders the thought for a moment, and then her eyes light up.

"I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Shadowheart, and yes my parents are hippies. Most people call me Shadow since it's less cringe."

"Well, nice to meet you. Please tell me there's a room I can snag that you aren't fighting about."

"Oh, go down the hall and to the right. That one has a bigger wardrobe, but Lae and I both really wanted the desk."

Your phone vibrates, with a notification from some online magazine.

'Szarr: The Seven Models Behind the Magic'

"Why has this man been doing so many interviews?"

Shadowheart's ears perk up.

"You know Szarr, that fashion guy right? He's been all over the news, I cannot escape it."

"Oh. You may want to be careful how you talk about him. One of his precious prodigies goes here. Kind of a bitch honestly."

She makes a fake throw-up noise, rolling her eyes.

"Wait. One of his models goes here? I assumed they were all full-time."

"He's full-time alright. I've never seen Astarion pause for anything other than himself. Anyways, I suppose I need to unpack my things IN THE ROOM WITHOUT A DESK."

Shadowheart yells the last part loud enough for Lae'zel to hear, which coerces a groan from her behind the locked door. And just like that, she's locked away in her own room, leaving you with the room at the end of the hall. At least it has the nice wardrobe? You put on some music and start to unpack all your bags, soaking in the space. It leaves some to be desired, but you're excited nonetheless. You're woken from the trance however when there's a very loud knock at your dorm door. You wait for a moment, hoping one of the other two will get it, but the knocking simply continues obnoxiously. Making your way to the front door with a scowl on your face, you throw it open.

"Floor meeting in thirty minutes. If you or any of your roommates are late, I'll kill you."

You're met with the topic of your previous conversation: Astarion. While you aren't necessarily into fashion, you've seen so much about this guy as of recent, mostly from people thirsting on Twitter. You almost laugh, knowing Shadowheart will be pissed when she hears that he's the RA for their floor. He doesn't wait for you to respond and simply walks down to the next room. After closing the door, you call for your new gossipy friend.

"Oh Shadow, I have wonderful news!"

She opens her door and leans in the frame.

"Please tell me I heard that voice wrong."

"Nope. I guess if you want to complain about Lae'zel, you'll have to see your favorite person!"

She lets out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. I guess I'll just deal with her. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

You knock on Lae'zel's door to tell her about the meeting, but you're simply met with a yell of 'I know!'

"Geez, tough crowd."

"She's the toughest crowd you'll meet. Don't ever try to impress her, you'll die trying."

Shadowheart gives you this slice of advice while putting her hair in a black claw clip.

The next thirty minutes pass by quickly as you decorate the walls of your room. Posters, little pieces of art, pictures of friends from home. When you leave the room to go to the floor meeting, you're met with the overlapping voices of everyone from floor seven, clearly annoyed that they have to be here. You and Shadowheart sit on a couch in the common area, and Lae'zel stands off to the side.

"Okay, I'm going to make this quick."

The room gets quiet quickly as Astarion speaks up, pushing his shades down his nose slightly so he can make intense eye contact with anyone who interrupts him.

"I'm your RA for the year. No, I will not answer your calls. If I'm sleeping, you better not wake me up. I do not care if you have an air fryer in your room, but if you burn down the university I will be pissed. To make it entirely clear, I'm only doing this to make a little extra cash, so do not expect me to be, how do you say... present."

The room is silent, both pleased that he doesn't seem to care and entirely annoyed by his attitude.

"Any questions?"

Once again, no one speaks.

"Great! If you truly need something, I would suggest you go to the RA on floor eight, my wonderful friend Gale, as he actually cares about the well-being of strangers. Good day!"

The large group mutters as they all make their way back to their rooms. Shadowheart turns to whisper to you.

"Oh Gale fucking hates him, and I guarantee you he didn't sign off on being the RA of two floors. Can't wait to see that catfight."

You laugh at her comment, not noticing the white-haired man approaching the two of you.

"Shadowheart."

"Astarion."

"Who's your new friend?"

She then realizes she never actually asked your name.

"Tav. It's Tav."

Astarion makes a noise that lies somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

"Fascinating. Well Tav, how would you like to be my plus-one to a party tonight? I would ask our emo queen here, but I'm sure she has some sulking and studying to do already."

"And I thought you'd be selling out on another Instagram post, but I guess you just really love bothering people. Have fun though, if you even know how to do that."

And with that comment. Shadowheart is back off to her room, most likely to sulk and study like Astarion said.

"Ugh, don't mind her. She just doesn't understand the hustle. Anyways, Tav was it? You seem like just the kind of person I'd love to silently drink champagne with."

You're silent for a moment, unsure if he really is as bad as Shadowheart makes him out to be.

"The champagne is free by the way."

What better way to sell a broke college student on a night out?

"Alright, guess I'm in."

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #au #shadowheart #lae'zel #astarion #gale of waterdeep #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Yeah, Besties" (Uni AU P. 11)

tw - slight mention of abuse

You and Astarion proceed to spend all your free time together, which isn't much for him, but it's nice in between the stresses of life. You go from barely being friends to almost inseparable, studying in his dorm and talking about nonsense. There's plenty of times when he has to disappear for miscellaneous modeling things, which he still doesn't really talk about, but you don't mind.

It's been about a week and a half since Astarion got back from LA, and things have been getting much better for everyone. Academics are picking up, sports are starting, and your little group of, 'friends,' has started to somewhat get along, which is a big relief. Since the seven of you are still working on that damned public speaking project, you meet up on Saturday to start discussing the presentation, but of course, you don't actually end up doing that. Besides, who goes to Starbucks and actually ends up studying?

"Ugh! Tav, I told you it was going to be far too busy here on a Saturday."

You roll your eyes at your white-haired friend.

"We're not even staying here, we're going over to the park across the street. Cool it broody."

He mocks you and you elbow him in the arm, making sure to be gentle about it in case there's some other 'scrape' he hasn't told you about.

"Can the two of you stop flirting and decide what you want please?"

Lae'zel is impatient, especially when it comes to caffeine.

"This? This is not flirting, we're like besties."

You throw Astarion a smile, and he responds, almost reluctantly.

"Yeah, besties."

You hear Gale and Shadowheart giggle to themselves somewhere in the back of the group, but you're not sure what about. Probably some bullshit they always find funny that no one else seems to understand. After some group discussion, Karlach decides to pay for everyone's drink, because oddly enough she's never been in a Starbucks.

"I don't know, I've just never gone! Drink a lot of protein smoothies, ya know? Coffee isn't really my thing."

Shadow of course is wrapped around Karlach's buff arm, and here's where someone would say that thing about sapphics and move-in vans on second dates. Eventually you all make up your minds. You get an iced coffee, something basic for your still-waking brain. The rest of the orders go as follows:

Astarion gets a caffè mocha, but asks for double the espresso, which you soon find out is six shots. You know from texting him this morning that he didn't sleep last night, and you're honestly not sure how he lives off of the amount of caffeine he drinks.

Karlach gets the dragon drink because she thinks it sounds cool.

Shadowheart orders a pink drink, blended, and proceeds to deal with intense teasing from Wyll about her edgy exterior. She yells at him about how she just like strawberries, and the aesthetic of her drink has nothing to do with how cool and mysterious she is.

Wyll then orders a chai latte, admitting he's never actually had coffee before after he was scared off of it as a kid.

Gale, like the classic man he is, goes with the caramel macchiato, but makes sure to ask three times that they're using almond milk, making a big deal about how his stomach will not handle it well if it's actual milk.

Lae'zel gets straight-up black coffee, hot. That's it. She doesn't add sugar, creamer, not even a little flavor, just hot black coffee.

So the baristas get to work on your myriad of drinks. You go to ask Astarion something, but quickly get interrupted by a stranger tapping you on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say, you are absolutely gorgeous. Mother Nature blessed us the day she made you."

You turn around to see a rather tall and built man. Your cheeks can't help but fill with red at the sincerity of the compliment you've just been given.

"Thank you! See, you guys really should worship my looks more."

"I know this might be strange, but I'd be honored to take you out sometime. Here's my number, you don't have to text me if you don't want to, but I just couldn't pass up this opportunity. Oh, and I'm Halsin, a pleasure to meet you."

This Halsin character soon walks off, leaving you with a receipt he's written his number on.

"Wow, and I thought I was a gentleman."

Wyll is clearly shocked by the sudden turn of events.

"Seriously, Tav you have to text him! What a heart throb."

Shadow eggs on the flirting that just occurred.

"I don't know, should I? What if he's like a weirdo."

"Oh c'mon, he seems so sweet! You'd be stupid to not at least give him a chance."

There are murmurs of support for Karlach's statement. Soon, your drinks are done, and your ragtag group starts to leave the building.

"I mean, he was maybe a little forward. And the line about 'Mother Nature?' Did he not have anything better?"

"We get it Astarion, you think you're a master flirt. Not everyone is as lusty as you are."

You don't see it, but Astarion proceeds to give Gale a solid middle finger, and Gale matches him. As much as everyone's getting better at getting along, those two still have some trouble.

"I don't know, maybe I should text him. I mean what's the harm?"

"I don't know, the possibility that he could be a serial killer freak?"

"Astarion, he's not a serial killer. There is literally no way the guy that came up to us is capable of murdering anything."

Shadowheart takes a drink of her pulverized fruity beverage in confidence.

"Alright fine, but if darling Tav gets murdered, don't blame me!"

"I mean c'mon Astarion, you hate every guy I'm interested in on the apps anyways."

It's true, because you've sat there and scrolled through Hinge with him far too many times, and everyone you've ever come across has received negative remarks from your pale friend.

"Because they're all weird! Besides, I find making a real-life connection is much more enticing."

"Says the guy who has never been in an actual relationship."

"You shut it Gale! This mystery woman is the first person you've ever been with, so you have no room to talk. Besides, I'm sure I've bed more people than you've ever laid eyes upon."

"Woah, cat fight. Calm down, you might scratch an eye out."

Wyll's comment earns a few laughs. The group eventually gets to the park across the street, finding a large shady tree to sit under. Astarion makes some off-hand comment about how his pants are too nice to be grass-stained, but he ends up joining the rest of you anyway.

"Okay Tav, so how do we craft this message to the hot nature guy? Because honestly I'd climb him like a tree if I could, you're lucky."

Shadowheart scooches next to you in order to brainstorm.

"Oh, so we're still on this? Great. I'll be over here, not thinking about the wannabe nudist."

"Come on Astarion, you have to help too! Shadow's too thirsty. I need a voice of reason."

He rolls his eyes, only obliging because you're the one asking.

"Fine. We will craft a text to this Halsin fellow."

While the others check their student email and actually do productive things, the three of you sit over your phone, wondering what to send to this hunky stranger. After Shadow and Astarion argue quite a bit, you settle on a sweet but intrigued message.

"Are you guys sure I should hit send? I don't know, what if he was kidding? Or it's like some prank?"

"Tav, if it was a prank I'll kill him."

Shadowheart agrees.

"I second Astarion, I would also kill him."

"Okay, fine! I'm doing it!"

You're a little giddy, excited that a stranger so kindly hit on you. It could've been creepy and weird, but he was so nice. With a slight tap, you've sent the message, and your phone emits a little whoosh noise. Little did you know, Gale had started texting Astarion while listening to your conversation.

~~~

gale_eats_paint: you should tell them

wannabe.vamp: tell them what ??

gale_eats_paint: that you like them. i can see you gritting your teeth all the way from here

wannabe.vamp: fuck off gale, you don't know what you're talking about

gale_eats_paint: alright, if you insist on being secretive that's fine. but i wouldn't wait around too long. also your @ is lame. what are you, a middle schooler?

wannabe.vamp: i'm literally albino AND anemic it could not make more sense

~~~

"Oh god, he responded!"

Astarion perks up from his phone, giving Gale a look across the shaded patch of grass. The artist simply gives him a concerned, yet discreet eyebrow raise. You read out the message, which asks if you'd be free this evening for a botanical garden tour.

"Aw, that's adorable! Tell him you're free!"

Karlach is now scrunched up next to you and Shadow.

"Thanks guys, this is so exciting! And what a cute first date idea, bringing someone to a garden? Oh, and Astarion, you have to help me plan my outfit, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

He rolls his eyes.

"Sure, since you asked so annoyingly, I will."

You go to wrap him in a grateful hug, which catches him severely off-guard.

"Thank you! You're the best Aster."

He almost questions the nickname, but decides to keep his mouth shut, because if this is the type of affection you're going to show him, he'll take it, no matter how small. Gale makes eye contact with him again though while you have him trapped in your warm embrace. While the two aren't particularly friendly, there's a sadness in Gale's eyes, knowing that Astarion won't speak up, no matter how much he wants to. Either way, he'll help you get ready for that date, even if it crushes him when you leave for the evening.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #fluff #x reader #shadowheart #karlach #wyll ravengard #gale of waterdeep #lae'zel #halsin #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Quit" (Uni AU P. 17)

GUYS IT'S BEEN SO LONG BUT FRESHIAU IS BACK! Sorry for the hell of a cliffhanger I gave you, whoopsies :)

tw - mentions of abuse, hospitalization

The next half-hour is a blur unlike any you've known before. You, Gale, and Karlach pile into the art student's shitty mini-van.

"I'm sure he's okay Tav."

Karlach tries to give you an assuring hand on the shoulder, but you think back to the phone call, the way the nurse wouldn't tell you anything, how you yelled in the middle of a damn cafe. It would be embarrassing if you didn't know the stakes that were in this trip to the hospital, that Astarion isn't the type for medical assistance unless it's absolutely necessary.

Other than Karlach's comment and the occasional flick of a blinker, the car is almost entirely silent. Gale drops you off at the front before leaving to park, and your tall friend stays by your side as you enter the sterile, sad building. When you get to the desk, she speaks on your behalf.

"We got a call that Astarion Ancunín was admitted here?"

"What's your relation to the patient?"

Karlach hesitates, before pushing you forward slightly.

"Well I'm just his friend, but my pal Tav here is his spouse!"

You give her a slightly concerned look, but soften when you know she just wants you to be able to see him.

"You can come back this way Tav."

It's all so quick and without feeling. Truthfully, you know medical professionals deal with this kind of thing on the daily, but the lack of concern for him makes you a little sick to your stomach. The words of your guide fall on deaf ears when you make it to his room, rushing in before she can even finish her sentence. She closes the door behind you as you're met with Astarion, your dear Aster, who looks far more beat down than usual.

"How in the hell did you manage to get back here?"

He asks with a slight smirk, the bags under his eyes far more noticeable than before. You can't help but smile at his charm, but replace it with a bitter expression soon after.

"That's not important right now. What happened?"

The urge to yell and scream is kept at a simmer, and instead your voice is kept soft, like plush moments of reading law papers, like falling asleep with your best friend, like cheap espresso and designer fabrics.

"Severe dehydration I suppose. I passed out, and Petras called an ambulance, which I'm sure got him beat to no end. Stupid decision if you ask me."

"Oh, so you quite literally pass out, and your first reaction is to think about Petras?"

He ponders your words for a moment as you finally sit at the edge of the bed.

"Trust me... I've already had plenty of time to think about just how bad this was. Thankfully when I lost consciousness I only bruised my poor arm, but the doctor said it could've been much worse. Heat stroke, seizures-"

"Okay, let's maybe not talk about all of that."

You start to cry, finally, after a panic-induced state of adrenaline begins to wear off. You get a notification from the group chat. Gale says Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Wyll Ubered over. You show your phone to him.

"Look, everyone showed up."

You smile softly, feeling a trail of tears hit your lip. It tastes salty.

"Of course they did. You all are far too sappy."

"Oh shut it Aster. We were worried."

"Well it's fine now, right? The issue is resolved, so everyone can go home, including you Tav."

You scoff.

"Fat chance. Besides, Karlach kind of told the nurse that I'm your spouse, so it looks weird if I leave now."

"She did what?"

"Yeah, trust me, it was weird."

He gets a little nervous, showing his age for once, that deep down he's still a 20-something-year-old kid. It stays silent for a little bit, and you listen to the monitors in the room, the almost silent IV drip, the steps of people walking up and down the halls. Your listening is interrupted by a tapping on the bed, Astarion trying to get your attention.

"Yeah?"

"I know I struggle to say it sometimes, well, most times, but I do rather appreciate that you came... that all of you came, but you in particular."

You want to be able to appreciate his words, but the fear that lingers beneath doesn't let you rest.

"I don't want to do it again. I don't know if my heart can handle doing all of this again."

"What else would you have me do darling?"

You know what you want to say, and you know what his response will be, but the words leave your mouth anyways.

"Quit. I want you to quit."

He goes to interrupt you, but you put a finger up to shush him, and he obliges.

"I know it feels impossible. I know you've signed how many documents and that you need the money, but you six incredible friends now that can help you through this. Think about it: if you blackout all your socials, stop showing up, what can he really do about it? Cazador can't get on campus. You'd be safe there, and it will look so bad for his image if you suddenly disappear that he'll be scrambling for PR anyways! I think you can do this, that we can do this."

"And what about the money?"

"Student loans? And we can all pitch in when we have extra. And you could pick up a job on campus, maybe something in the law library?"

You're trying to be inspiring, but looking at him like this makes it hard.

"Why do you keep trying so much for me? Truly, you've wasted so much breath on me, even in this moment."

Somehow those sad questions still catch you off-guard. You put a hand on his.

"I don't think I can even word it right Aster. Even if I tried, I don't think the words would make sense, that any of it would make sense to either of us. Just accept that I'm here, trying for you, okay?"

"Okay... then I'll try too. I'll try your ridiculous plan Tav."

#astarion x tav #astarion x reader #angst #comfort #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Unlucky Draw" (Uni AU p. 15)

There's finally some fluff guys!!!!!!!!!

tw - anxiety, discussion of weed

Since Halsin's little break-up escapade happened, you actually do get the chance to see Astarion later that night. As of recent, he's been throwing himself into his thesis project more and more, to the point where most of your time hanging is spent with him looking through books and asking 'do you think this sounds right?'

"You know you can take a break, right?"

"I could, you're right, but then I'd just be wasting time. And I'm not allotted much time to work on this."

The two of you are comfortably sprawled across his mattress, like teenagers at a sleepover. You roll over and shut his laptop.

"C'mon, you've been staring at that paper for like two hours."

"And what else should I do, my darling Tav? Maybe stare at the ceiling in silence? Or scroll mindlessly on my phone until I don't feel like moving anymore?"

"Ugh, no! I don't know, take a coffee break. You're probably not going to sleep anyways."

Your best friend almost looks peaceful like this, wrapped in a cozy sweater and sweatpants, always wearing long socks because he gets cold too easily. You find yourself lingering on the thought longer than normal, wishing he could feel that comfortable warmth all the time, wondering it might be like to share in it.

"Tav, are you listening? God, maybe we should just stare at the ceiling in silence."

"Sorry, just spacing out. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, how I should probably cut back on the caffeine."

"Really? Astarion Barista Ancunín, are you turning your back on your beloved espresso machine?"

"Look, I'm not happy about it, but I've been far too anxious as of late. My nerves are on fire constantly, jumping at every little noise I hear. It's irritating, to say the least."

"I thought being caffeinated was how you dealt with the insomnia though?"

"Oh it very much is, which will become a problem soon enough, but I just can't be this nervous constantly."

It's something that you've definitely noticed, how quiet and fidgety he's become recently.

"You considered smoking weed? I know Gale says it helps him zen out, especially when it comes to art stuff."

"Nope, makes me paranoid."

"Damn, unlucky draw I guess."

"You're telling me. I smoked one time back in high school, couldn't sleep for hours, kept thinking someone was out to get me or something."

You start to get lost in the peace of the moment again, the fact that you're able to talk about shit that doesn't matter, how the light from the bedside lamp hits his eyes just right...

"Are you alright? You seem, out of it."

"Sorry, just thinking about what Halsin said to me."

"I can't believe he just broke things off like that, without a reason."

You swallow hard.

"He, he said it's because he thinks you like me? And that he doesn't want to get in the way of that?"

There's silence for a moment, that you jump to fill.

"But that's not true right? We're just friends, I don't know where he would've gotten that idea from."

"Right, I don't know either... sounds like you dodged a bullet with him."

"Yeah, probably so."

God, has he always looked like this? Damn Halsin, damn all those things he said, damn Gale for even playing into it. You remind yourself that Astarion's right, that this doesn't need to get any more complicated than it already is, that he has enough on his plate.

"Now, am I allowed to go back to my thesis now? Or do I need to have more mandatory break time?"

You playfully sigh.

"I guess you can do productive things or whatever."

"Well, in that case would you like to come read what I have?"

"I'll look at it, but you have the cool narrator voice, you have to read it to be like a professional author."

He rolls his eyes, and you go to sit next to him, looking at the thousands of words he's typed at this point. Astarion starts to read it out loud, editing tiny things as he goes, forever a little perfectionist. After a while, the voice becomes too soothing, and you fall asleep there next to him, letting your head hit his shoulder.

"Tav?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you knocked out, clearly exhausted. He doesn't stop reading though, worried if he does that he'll somehow ruin the sleep he's let you stumble into. So he spends the rest of the night rereading out loud and talking to himself, occasionally asking you things that you don't answer. After many hours pass, and the wee hours of the morning arrive, along with the clock turning to say five AM, he puts his laptop aside, and asks you one final question.

"Why do you insist on pulling my heartstrings the way you do?"

And it falls on your sleeping ears, never truly getting through.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff #x reader #freshiau #gale of waterdeep #halsin

[thatfreshi]

Always (Uni AU P. 16)

Thank you all for patiently waiting :)

tw - mentions of abuse, grooming

Your eyes flutter open slowly, unsure of exactly where you are. When you move your head, you feel the bone in Astarion's shoulder, and remember the night prior. When you realize you indeed were asleep on him, you jerk back up.

"What time is it?"

"Almost six. You must've been tired."

He puts his phone down and sits his head on his knees.

"You alright?"

"Just not looking forward to today. Twelve-hour day, nine to nine, no breaks."

"Sounds horrible."

"It does, doesn't it? And I haven't slept in days either."

He gets out of bed reluctantly and goes to the closet, almost tripping over nothing.

"You could probably spare some time to lay down a little longer."

"No, sadly I can't. The location is an hour away, I still have to get ready, and I have to pick up some things on the way. All of that and maybe find time to eat something."

He methodically looks through the many fabrics, finding a silk dress shirt. Thoughtlessly, Astarion throws off the sweater from yesterday, revealing what appears to be many scars across his back.

"Holy shit."

You don't mean for the words to stumble out the way they do, but it's not often you see someone's skin decorated in old wounds.

"Right, forgot I hadn't told you about all of those. Though to be honest, I've never seen them."

He quickly puts on his newly chosen shirt, fiddling with the buttons on the sleeves.

"Are they-"

"From Cazador? Of course."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did he do it?"

He stops in his tracks, dumbfounded once again by you and your questions.

"I mean, there's always plenty of reasons to him. Misstep on the catwalk, look the wrong way in a photo, make him look bad in front of someone else in the industry. He does his punishments in private obviously, but you always know when you're due for one. Always."

Light steps make their way to the kitchen to get some coffee. You follow, silently.

"Sorry. I know I have more of a stomach for this kind of thing than you do."

"You shouldn't have the stomach for it at all."

"You think I don't know that?"

He turns to meet your eyes, and then sighs, leaning against the counter.

"Really, I am sorry. I'm just very irritable right now."

"Anything I can do?'

"No, I think I just need to be by myself, for the little time I have. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

He perks up at that.

"Why?"

"I mean, none of this is your fault. No need to apologize about things out of your control. Besides, I ask about all of it anyways. If you need alone time, you need alone time."

He's so used to 'sorry's, even if they aren't always genuine. Sorry when he's at Cazador's whim, sorry to people he's looped into horrific schemes, sorry any time he fucks up. Most recently, he's so incredibly apologetic to you, the way he's fallen for you, the way he can't bring himself to leave you alone, the way you always ask about the worst of it and he almost always shares. That look in your eyes when you see him hurt, he's been trying to avoid it, because it makes him feel monstrous.

"Anyways, I hope it's not all that bad today. If you need something, let me know, okay?"

You grab all your things from the night before, and make your way towards the door.

"Okay. Thank you Tav."

You smile.

"Of course Aster, anything for you, any time, anywhere. Always."

He almost says something when you walk out the door, but simply has his mouth agape, watching you walk away after saying probably the nicest thing he's heard in years.

When you make your way back to your dorm room, you hear shouting from inside, which you can only assume is Shadow and Lae arguing again. Then, when you walk in, you realize it's actually Gale's voice going back and forth with your moody roommate. Lae'zel seems to be absent from the dorm.

"Gale, you can't be fucking serious. You're sleeping with a professor? Not just any professor, but Mystra? Really? Are you that fucking stupid?"

"We are not just sleeping together, it's a real relationship. We have something special Shadowheart, not that you would particularly understand that."

"No, no you don't have something special with her, she's using you. You work for her, she's your teacher! She can decide your entire academic future on a whim!"

"No one better to fall in love with then, right?"

"Oh, fall in love? You, you are not in love with her, and she is certainly not in love with you. She's using you and your naivety Gale."

You hear her voice crack at this point, the concern for her best friend seeping through.

"Oh, so I'm naive now? Great to know you think so highly of me Shadow. You were begging me to tell you, I thought you'd be happy for me!"

"I'm not listening to this. When you want to have a real conversation, and not just make me feel like I'm crazy for worrying about you, come and find me."

Her door slams, and she storms past you in the living space, rushing out of the dorm. Gale slowly makes his way out of her room, not expecting you to be waiting.

"And now you know too, wonderful. Are you also going to call me insane for being in love, or are you capable of being reasonable?"

No words come to mind. Instead of sitting around waiting for a response, he walks right past you, off to brood in his room alone. You decide to try and find your roommate, just to make sure she's alright, and possibly get the rest of the story. Despite your efforts, you find none of your strange friends. It's as if campus has been entirely deserted. With the new chill in the air as Fall becomes even more intense, you find yourself feeling lonely, and even sad. So, you do what any other reasonable college student would, and you go grab a coffee and throw yourself into some assignments.

Essays, discussion boards, projects, powerpoints, they all sort of just blur together. Word counts become meaningless, rubrics are like unspeakable languages, emails are a life-sucking endless void of nothing. You close your laptop and stare at the ceiling, wondering why you're even sad to begin with, why all of this seems like treacherous work. Your mind floats back to Astarion, as it often does. Perhaps he was the cause of your melancholy, him and all the scars you had seen that morning. But now it's hours later, close to nightfall, and you barely have anything to show for it.

That's when Karlach and Gale show up, which helps you snap out of the mood a little bit.

"She'll come around Gale! I may not get it, but hey, we all just gotta do our own thing."

The two of them sit at your lonely little table, and Gale sighs.

"Well Tav, how's the rest of the day been?"

"Uneventful. Sad. Boring."

Gale nods in agreement.

"Oh cheer up you two! There's still time left in the night, things can get better!"

You can't help but crack a smile.

"You know what Karlach? You're right, and just for that, I'm going to get us all a little treat."

The two of them insist that you shouldn't, but you're already walking off to the coffee bar that's going to close soon. You buy a couple of stupid little candies, just to make sure everyone will have something they enjoy. You thank the barista and walk back to the table. On the way, you feel at your pocket for your phone, but it's not there.

"Must've left it at the table."

And you were right, because when you look back up Karlach is receiving a call on your phone. You walk over to try and figure out who she possibly could've answered, mouthing a question to her. She tells you to shush, her eyes far more serious than normal.

"What do you mean he's in the hospital?"

Her voice cracks when she asks, and without thinking you snatch your phone out of her hands.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau #gale of waterdeep #karlach #shadowheart

[thatfreshi]

"Just Drunk" (Uni AU P. 13)

tw - drunkenness, mentions of abuse

The date with Halsin goes off without a hitch. No funny business happens of course, nothing further than a peck on the cheek. It's late when you get back, with no text from Astarion. At this point it's the early hours of the morning, close to three, and you hear two familiar male voices out in the hall.

"God, I don't know how they made you an RA! You're sloppy drunk right now Astarion, it's embarrassing."

You were about to go to sleep, but apparently not anymore.

"Gale, you're such a Debbie Downer! What, can I not have a little fun?"

"No, not when you can barely walk. Did you drive here?"

"A magician never tells."

When you open your door, rubbing your eyes at the bright lights in the hall, you do indeed see Gale and Astarion, the latter leaning awkwardly against the wall.

"Thank God. Please Tav, talk some sense into him."

At this point, your albino friend is laughing to himself over nothing, clearly hysterical.

"Oh Gale, you think Tav can fix this? You think any of you can fix this?! I'm doomed! Entirely doomed! And there's nothing either of your sorry souls can do about it."

You don't know what to say. Sure, he said he was going to go get drunk, but you figured it was the kind of thing where he'd have like three drinks and just get a little loose, have some fun.

"Aster, did you really drive back to campus like this?"

Deep down, you know he's not going to answer your question with any reason, and it pains you. Everything about him right now pains you, in a way you've never felt before.

"So what if I did? Should I have called you, asked for you to drive me home? So you can keep saying pretty things at me, so you can keep getting my hopes up?"

He slides to sit down in the hallway while you and Gale just watch, unable to look away.

"It's just like he says you know. Without the magazines covers, the fashion shows, I'm nothing! Just some sad broke kid who wanted to go to law school. What a joke..."

You go to grab his hand to pull him up, to try and lead him back to his room, but he pulls the sleeve down as he stands, showing Gale all the scabbed marks you saw before, back when they were open wounds.

"Look! You think I'm so pretentious right? That my life is so perfect? Look Gale, look at them! Think you're so cool now huh? All those times you and Shadowheart talked behind my back... and now you want to be friends? All because some stranger told you I'm a good person?"

You're holding him up at this point as Gale stands in shock, unsure of what to say.

"Astarion, you need to go back to your room now. This isn't helping anyone."

You motion to Gale to help you with the lanky drunk, and he comes to your aid, trying to avert his gaze from that ripped-up arm. When you get the chance, you pull his sleeve back down. After a lot of mumbling from Astarion and some awkward movement down the hall, you get to his door. Luckily the RA master keys work on all the rooms, so Gale scans in. You lead him into his bedroom.

"Gale, can you get some water? God damn it Astarion, why?"

He's not all there anymore, starting to lose the rage he had before he got back into his room. Mumbles come out of his mouth, words you don't hear as you take off his shoes.

"What did you say?"

"I said... how was Halsin? He's a sweet one, isn't he?"

"Don't worry about that right now Aster, we need to get you some water and you need to get to bed."

As if on cue, Gale comes in with a cup.

"I don't want it from him."

Astarion glares at his fellow RA, and you motion for him to leave.

"I got it, thank you so much Gale, really."

He leaves the cup with you and makes his way out of the dorm. You try to hand the pale man the water, but he simply ignores you, staring somewhere that isn't even existent. Instead, you leave the water on his nightstand, and try to get him to lie down. When he does finally go supine, you sit by him on the bed for a moment, realizing just how horrible you feel. He tries to say something, but drifts off, falling asleep soon after.

After you know he's fully unconscious, something in you just snaps, and you start sobbing. It's impossible. His entire situation is simply impossible, and he's right. There's nothing you can do about it. You can say all the nice things you want, give him all the stuff he already knows, but there's no way out. At least not an easy one. Something in your heart winces though, as if you need to throw up, you're filled with both concern and disgust. This soul you've gotten to know so quickly, he's become such a staple, and yet lives are so fleeting. What if he hadn't made it back? Even worse, what if he had hurt someone else on the way back? That fear swallows you whole, and you decide not to leave, instead walking out to sleep on the couch.

When you awake the next morning, it's to the sound of the damned espresso machine. You rub your eyes, and look up towards the kitchenette, and surely enough there's Astarion, wide awake, even if he looks like a train wreck. For the first time ever, you see his hair a mess.

"Good morning."

He sips his coffee, and you slowly sit up. You're not sure what to say, the night prior very clear in your head. When you do go to open your mouth, he talks before you can start.

"I'm sorry you had to see that spectacle last night. I expected you'd be in bed with the hippie."

With coffee in hand, he walks over to sit next to you on the couch.

"Been a while since I've been quite that drunk."

"You... you really scared me."

Your eyes well with tears again.

"I was fine darling, just drunk."

"Yeah, but you were saying a lot of scary, sad things. You, you showed Gale your arm, yelled at him."

"I remember, sadly. Guess I'll have to deal with that at some point, but I have to leave for the fitting soon."

"You're still going to that?"

"Of course. Tav, this isn't optional. Cazador, he's not the kind that you just play disappearing games with."

That hopelessness from last night, it swims back into your system, infecting your entire nervous system. You're sick to your stomach.

"You can't! You can't... you can't go."

You're choking out sobs at this point, begging some kind of higher power to undo all of this. Astarion doesn't know what to say, unsure why you're crying so much. This is just life, and the lows are extremely low.

"That's not how it works darling. I have to. It's just how things are."

There's nothing else to say, because he's right. It just hurts, to watch him in pain, and you know only more awaits after last night's choice to ignore Cazador's phone call.

"I'll be okay. I've been through worse."

And then he gives you a weak smile, but it's genuine. A tear drops out of one of his eyes, landing on the couch.

"Now, it's best if you get going. But maybe I'll see you later?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'll see you later."

You get up and wipe at your eyes, grabbing your phone off the coffee table.

"Oh, and how were things with Halsin?"

How could he even ask about such a thing, at a moment like this?

"It... it was fine."

In truth, it was much better than fine. And yet, the memory fades in comparison to this, to what you feel right now. But, just what is it? He says nothing in return, and you leave, letting the question of what feeling is nagging at you haunt you for the rest of the day.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau #gale of waterdeep #halsin

[thatfreshi]

"Did I Smudge the Scars?" (Uni AU P. 19)

Hello. The long-awaited Halloween party (I know it's almost spring whoops). This took a different turn than I was expecting, but it felt right to me.

TW - alcohol, references to grooming, references to self-harm

When you get to Karlach's dorm, you're met at the door with a lot of scuffling and 'ow!'s, as well as other pathetic hurt sounds.

"Tav, they've been fighting and I can't get them to stop."

A disheveled Gale and Shadow are on the shitty dorm floor, pulling at each other's hair. You glare at your tallest friend.

"Are you... you're serious? As if you aren't literally an athlete?"

She shrugs.

"Well, I'm not going to tell my girlfriend what to do, and I think if I touched Gale he'd fall into tiny pieces. C'mon, please? Just say something to try and get them to break apart?"

The heaviest sigh you've ever let out released from your lungs.

"Hey losers! Astarion and I kissed!"

And as if magically, they stopped clawing at each other. The pale girl is the first to talk.

"What?! And we weren't there?"

She gets off of the artist and fixes her braid.

"Yeah, you guys weren't there because it didn't happen! Karlach's phone call interrupted what was about to be the best kiss of my life, but thanks for getting into another stupid argument that I have to solve for some reason! If I get brought into your bullshit one more time, I swear I will burn this university to the ground."

Gale's eyes go a little wide.

"Can we... at least be outside when you burn it down?"

Your strong gaze doesn't falter, causing him to abandon his lame joke.

"And next time Karlach, please just manhandle her. That's probably what she wants anyways."

You open the dorm door and proceed to slam it, hearing Karlach laugh at her lover.

~~~

The next evening, the seven of you are in Astarion's dorm getting ready for the Halloween party. Shadow and Gale seem to have put their feud away, at least for the night. Your best friend is helping Karlach put on fake horns. You remember her explaining her costume a while ago.

"Listen, I know I'm like super nice! That's why I'm gonna be a demon, because it's like the opposite of me!"

You stare for a while, since your outfit is already put together. Gale catches your gaze lingering for a little too long and gives your shoulder a push, and the two of you laugh a little under your breath.

"Alright, if that amount of eyelash glue doesn't hold those in place I'll give up on makeup forever."

Astarion finishes testing the horns, and they seem to stay in place.

"Tav, come here darling."

You're taken aback, considering your costume was finished first.

"What? Did I smudge the scars?"

Your look for tonight is a scrappy adventurer, something you'd find in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

"No no, they're fine my dear."

You sit on the couch beside him, and he grabs his eyeliner.

"If you're going to be some fierce adventurer, your eyes have to stand out at least."

You're not sure if it was just in your head, but it felt like the entire room got silent. He grabs your head and goes to work on his craft.

"You know you have to close your eyes for me to do this properly, right?"

You didn't realize you had been locking eyes with him.

"Right, sorry."

A light chuckle comes from your throat as the cold, black liner hits your skin. After what feels like only a moment in time, he lets go of you, taking in his work.

"Hm, I probably could've done that a little more evenly, but it'll do. Besides, I doubt eyeliner is all that even in the wilderness."

You open your eyes again, and he smirks when you do.

"Well, thanks for making sure I look 'fierce' or whatever."

He smiles.

"Are we all ready to go then?"

You look at a bored Shadowheart, who is unsurprisingly dressed as a sexy nun. Apparently the lovely couple's costumes matched more than you thought.

"Yeah, I think everyone's done getting ready. Gale, you good?"

You're checking on your friend in a shitty cheap wizard costume, who has been intently staring at his phone for the past 20 minutes.

"Yep, ready to go!"

And suddenly his phone is back in his robe pocket, and the air around him dissipates. So, after a long walk to the parking garage, Gale drives you all past GU, onto the rich area outside the city. When you get to the location on the invite, you're all a little baffled.

"Is Halsin secretly a millionaire? Because he should teach us a thing or two about finances in college if so."

Everyone laughs a little at Wyll's quip as the seven of you exit the van. You all decided to get to the party about an hour after it started, leaving plenty of time for things to pick up. Astarion is a little paranoid before you get inside, and you tug at his vampiric blouse sleeve.

"Hey, it's fine. No one has any reason to think you're here. And if it just so happens that someone less than friendly finds you here, then we leave, simple as that."

"Right, of course. No reason to be worried."

He's trying to convince himself, but before you can further reassure him, Halsin meets your group outside the front door.

"Ah, if it isn't Tav and their lovely friends! Please, come in."

"So like... do you own this place? Or like your mom?"

Halsin turns to respond to Karlach.

"Hah! No, not in the slightest. A friend of mine let me borrow the place. He's from a much richer family than I am, and I figured a party should be held in a vast mansion such as this. Anyway, there's plenty of food, beer pong, board games, and plenty of stunning people looking for a fun time."

He winks at Shadowheart playfully.

"I'll be around, let me know if you all need anything. Please though, go have fun!"

Karlach and Shadowheart look at each other knowingly and start eyeing a couple across the room. Wyll and Lae'zel make their way to beer pong, and Gale wanders off to wallflower somewhere, very unlike him. That leaves you and Astarion, gazes skipping around the room.

"Certainly a much larger abode than I expected. Don't get lost in here darling, I can't remember the last time I went to a party that wasn't purely for PR."

Astarion seems excited. The news of his social media blackout seems to be relatively hidden for now, and there's almost a manic sense about him. For once, he's not a model, he's not repping a brand, he's not watching his figure for some shoot, he's just a college kid.

"Well, what do you want to do then?"

"Perhaps go check and see if the punch is spiked?"

There's a little bit of lust on the tip of his tongue, lust for life, and maybe even you. It's hard to tell though. Emotions have been so high as of recent, and Astarion is difficult to read at best.

"Perhaps we shall."

You playfully extend your arm to interlock, and he accepts. There are most definitely whispers as the two of you go across the main room, and you start to wonder if the articles are coming out, if everyone knows. You try desperately not to grab your phone, and succeed, at least for now.

As you two take a sip of unspiked punch, you take in the scenery. It's quite dark, obviously. Halsin and his friends have very intensely decorated the entire first floor, with all eco-friendly and thrifted items as he constantly reminds everyone.

"Hey! You're that ghost lookin' model boy right?!"

Some party-goer yells, who is clearly drunk. Astarion ignores him at first. The random drunk then yells even louder, as if the music was drowning him out.

"He's gonna fucking kill you!"

He perks up after that, making eye contact with the stranger.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said that weirdo is gonna fucking kill you! Szarr or whatever? I mean good on you though, making a cool statement or whatever. I used to date a model that worked under him, and a couple months after we broke up she went 'missing!' Crazy right?! Anyways man, I hope he doesn't kill you because you're a fuckin' looker. Have a good night!"

After the guy walks off, you and Astarion look at each other.

"Did you know about that?"

"I mean, I knew one of the models he used to work with disappeared, but it was never determined what happened. You don't think..."

You put a hand on his.

"Let's not right now. Let's not go down that route right now."

"Right. I think I need this to actually be spiked."

He leans down and grabs a flask out of his boot.

"I didn't know you brought booze."

"Eh, an emergency stock in case they didn't have any here."

You twiddle your hands nervously.

"Just don't get like, drunk drunk, please? I really cannot handle that tonight."

"Dear, you think I can't handle my liquor? How little you must think of me."

He takes a sip of his newly mixed punch, tapping red acrylics on the cheap plastic cup.

"Let's see if our wonderful Wyll and Lae'zel are winning beer pong, shall we?"

It's as if you've seen a new man tonight, overconfidence to mask fear. Of course it concerns you, because he constantly concerns you. You want to reason, to say that he's enjoying some kind of newfound freedom, but this isn't the Astarion you've come to know. He's not the simple dorm room you've come to love, the glasses he won't tell anyone about, the late-night hours spent on reviewing law papers. Something about it makes your stomach sink a little, wondering if this is who he is now, somehow. That maybe-

"Are you coming darling?"

"Of course."

And your lips curl into a smile, one that you find yourself faking the way he does.

"Bullshit! You moved the cup you fool!"

Lae'zel has already started arguing with various frat bros. Her and Wyll are a surprising duo, already wiping out the competition and taking several cups of shitty, watered-down beer.

"Lae, it's fine, be a gracious winner!"

The guys across the table disperse and leave the champions to reset the table, clearly being the sour ones in this situation.

"Well well well, already winning silly little games are we? Might as well start putting money on it."

Lae'zel turns to Astarion.

"As if I would waste my money on chance. Some people have brains around here."

He simply rolls his eyes, and turns his attention to Wyll.

"I'm sure daddy wouldn't feel too good about you being in a place like this."

Wyll mocks him back.

"I'm pretty sure 'daddy' doesn't even care what I'm doing right now."

He then goes to somberly refill the rest of the cups on the table. You push Astarion's shoulder and give him a look that should clearly say 'hey, that was mean, what the fuck are you doing?' but all he does is shrug at you.

"Don't mind him Wyll, his father doesn't care about him either. That makes you even."

Before the three further bicker about parental relationships, you hear a familiar voice off towards the corner of the room.

"Because Gale, I miss having a friend! I miss knowing you were in control of your life, not some stupid professor. And right now? Right now I'm yelling at you, at a party, instead of hanging out with my hot girlfriend and that sexy GU couple we just chatted up."

"As if you haven't been hiding things from me too Shadow."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying, maybe there's a reason you picked sexy nun instead of sexy cat this year."

"What does that even mean Gale?"

"Oh, don't think I didn't notice during our little scuffle earlier, your arm?"

Suddenly, she gets very quiet, extremely aware of how many people at the party can hear her and Gale yapping. She then grabs his arm and drags him outside the side door. Your stomach is in knots at this point, because for some reason everything is wrong. Everything was supposed to be right after the blackout. Your friends would all be happy and get along, Astarion would be a free man, you'd finally get that kiss you'd been waiting for, and yet here you are, at some Halloween party hosted by your ex, and everything is just... wrong.

Without thinking, you go to the nearest exit of that room, the staircase. You're trying to block out the loud music at this point, but it feels almost impossible. The closest door is the first on your right and you open it, slamming it behind you. You're met with a large bed, probably belonging to some rich couple. The giant windows are covered with blackout curtains, and the carpet is luscious. Things are quieter in here, except for a soft knock at the door once you sit at the edge of the bed.

"Go away!"

"It's me Tav."

Of course Astarion followed you up here, how inseparable the two of you are.

"C'mon Aster."

When he comes in and quietly shuts the door, your head is in your hands. You feel the mattress move as he sits down next to you.

"I'm sorry."

You wipe at a watery eye, the tears just beginning to come in.

"For what? I'm the one that ran off."

He doesn't say anything at first, pondering how to best word this new thought.

"You- you're the first person who has helped me recognize my own patterns, that when I get scared I have this wall up. I've been feeling it since we sat down and cleared all my socials, this overwhelming feeling, like I'm being hunted to the ends of the Earth. And that fear, it makes me someone I don't like. Especially tonight, being outside of campus for the first time since, I just-"

He cries too, the first time you can remember seeing him cry. You lean on his shoulder. He continues.

"I thought I was ready, and I'm not. I'm not ready to be a normal person right now, a college kid that goes to parties."

You scoff slightly.

"I thought things would be normal too. Like somehow we had fixed everything, ya know?"

"Yeah... I do."

"I would like to find normal though, someday... with you."

He turns toward you, forcing you to pick your head back up.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I think it's time to admit that this isn't just a close friendship. Not to me at least. And that scares the shit out of me too, just like everything else right now."

"Out of billions of people in the world, you would choose to try and find normal, with me?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

He hesitates, fear.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Is that bad, that I don't know? I just know you're different, and special to me, and that's enough to me."

"Well... maybe we can give you some time to find out?"

"Well, could I kiss you then, and maybe I'll learn something?"

You two laugh, quiet enough as to not disturb the room, but loud enough that the two of you feel the happiness radiate. He wipes at a tear and nods. It's different than the first time you met, vastly different, as if you've gotten to know someone entirely new. Although, you're not sure what words could really describe the kiss. Fearful, yet excited? Nervous, yet brave? It's over before you know it though, leaving a little flit in your heart. He interrupts your thoughts.

"We should definitely try that a couple more times."

And so you do, alone in a stranger's bedroom, and for once you forget about the various issues spiraling back at RU, about Gale and Shadowheart hating each other, even about Szarr. There's just this soft time in between, where two barely adults having fun just kissing each other, even if it's only a short moment in time, it's yours forever.

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Matters of the Heart" (Uni AU P. 14)

tw - mentions of abuse, athletic injuries

Another week passes, and things slowly return to normal. Halsin texts you every morning and night, always saying sweet things, as if his words are coated in sugar and honey. Astarion has started to perk up again, but he has stopped telling you anything about work, especially anything about Cazador. He takes all of his phone calls privately, and hides any accumulated wounds carefully. After that morning, seeing you cry over him, he can't give you another reason to be upset. At some point, he must have talked to Gale, because the two seem to have a silent understanding, although the artist never approaches you about the subject. This Saturday, Karlach has her first meet of the year, and your little ragtag group of friends has been invited.

"Oh Goddess, she needs to wear those shorts more. I can't! I just can't, she's too much!"

Of course, Shadowheart can't go one second around Karlach without thirsting.

"Oh, that's her girlfriend?"

Halsin came too, a great excuse for the two of you to see each other again. Not much has occurred, and he's obviously very charismatic, but you haven't been getting that butterflies in your stomach feeling. Despite this, you try your best to give him a solid chance, knowing it's very possible the recent stress has gotten the better of you.

"Yeah, they're quite cute together."

You're short with him, not on purpose, but because you're focused on other things: your project presentation coming up soon, an upcoming Halloween party, and the fact that Astarion has seemed quite fidgety all day. You move to whisper to him.

"You alright? You seem anxious."

He doesn't respond, instead giving a small thumbs up, not making eye contact with you.

"I think they're about to start."

Gale gets everyone focused back on the match that's about to start. Karlach is going against another tall buff woman from an opposing school, and the fight begins slowly, the two trying to figure out the other's plan. At some point, they get repositioned for going out of bounds, but Coach Zariel takes Karlach aside before the match continues again.

"That's weird. They already talked everything through beforehand, she was texting me about it."

Shadow picks up on the weird feeling that arises, and the rest of you follow suit. While watching the two of them talk, it's clear that tempers are rising, until your friend backs down, and goes back to the match. Things continue normally, until the two begin grappling. In between grabs and attempted chokes, it's hard to see exactly what's going on. That is, until the opposing woman yelps in pain, and the ref separates the two. The ref then proceeds to fight with your school's coach.

"What in the hell is going on?"

Wyll is just as confused as the rest of you, unsure as to why things ended so fast, or why there's now an argument going on. Unlike Karlach usually is, she seems cold, and doesn't go to check on her opponent. Instead, the ref ends up giving her the point, and eventually the win, because the other woman can't fight due to severe pain. When you all meet up with her afterward, Karlach is distraught.

"What happened out there babe?"

Shadowheart is immediately at her side.

"I don't know. Coach, she pulled me aside, said I should for a spinal twist. I told her I thought that was an illegal move, but she just kept pushing it, so I did it. I guess the ref couldn't prove it though. Feels terrible, I hope she's alright."

"Why would Zariel even tell you to do that?"

"I don't know... but I don't like it."

The rest of you leave the two new lovebirds to talk about it alone. You turn your attention to Astarion.

"Did you still want to study later?"

"I would, but something came up. I have to leave soon actually."

You don't realize it, but a wave of sadness covers your face, apparent to both him and Halsin.

"I might see you tonight though?"

"Oh, Halsin and I actually have another date planned."

"Right, of course."

"Actually Tav, can we talk about that?"

You nod as Astarion takes his leave, silently reprimanding himself for being so pathetic over you and this thing with Halsin. He's like a hoarder when it comes to your time, obsessed with taking every moment of yours that can be shared, and Halsin has gotten in the way of that. Between how much he's had to work, it's hard to find time to see each other.

"What is it?"

Halsin has taken you aside.

"Listen, I've been having a wonderful time-"

"Me too! It's been great getting to know you."

You try to smile at him, but it fades when you realize he isn't saying it in a good way.

"I... I think your heart may be elsewhere though."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe you don't see it yet, but that 'best friend' of yours?"

"Oh, Astarion? No, it's not like that at all."

"Maybe not now, but the way he looks at you? Something will come of it soon, and I won't be in the middle of it. It pains me, because you're so incredible, but I just can't get between other people."

"Halsin, are you breaking this off over some petty jealousy? Because, even if Astarion were into me like that, which he isn't, that doesn't mean I'm into him."

"Would you be though? If he was interested?"

You hesitate.

"My point has been made. Perhaps we can be good friends Tav? But in the meantime, take care."

Just like that, he's gone, and you're unsure what to do. You don't feel like crying, but you definitely don't feel good either.

"You alright Tav?"

Gale comes to your side.

"No... no, I'm not."

"Did the nature fanatic break things off? Thought he was too much of a sweetheart for that."

"He said he doesn't want to get between me and Astarion."

"Oh, is that so? Are you interested in our albino friend?"

"I... I don't know."

No one had presented the concept to you before. After that first encounter with him and the night at the diner, you assumed friendship was all it could ever be. You blocked off that possibility in your head. Besides, does he even have the space for a relationship? He of course, had sex with you that evening at the party, but you didn't even know each other. He wasn't present either, which makes things more complicated. Is that even the kind of thing he's looking for, a lover?

"Well, I'd figure that out then. Matters of the heart are better when resolved."

"Yeah, I guess you're right Gale."

The events of last week paint across your mind again, his drunken stupor, how quiet he's been since. You remember sobbing at the side of his bed, clawing in your mind for any way to get him out of this situation. Before you go too far into the memory, you come back to reality.

"Gale?"

"Hm?"

"You haven't told anyone about last week right? You know."

"Right, that evening. No. Although. Astarion didn't tell me much, just that he had it handled at it wasn't my business to share. Suppose he's right. You though, you know way more than I do."

"What makes you say that?"

"You eyes. They're full of concern every time you look at him, like something is permanently wrong. Of course, it's not my place to pry, but we've all started to become rather fond of him. I'd hate to see something bad happen all because he wants to keep his secrets."

"Trust me Gale, me too."

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #x reader #freshiau #gale of waterdeep #shadowheart #karlach #wyll ravengard #halsin

[thatfreshi]

"When I Feel Used" (Uni AU P. 3)

I am sorry for the angst in advance, my finger slipped

tw - references to alcohol and sex, lots of yelling, hints at abuse

@justporo

The two of you are silent, and you can sense some kind of negative energy on him. You're not sure if it's anger or shame, or maybe both. All you know is he had sex with you, but didn't really want to. It makes you feel a little gross, trying to figure out what even happened. Astarion hides it well though, shifting through many different personas constantly.

"All that and you didn't even get any champagne."

He makes the joke, hoping it will evoke some kind of laugh from you. You say nothing. Instead, you get out at the next stoplight. He doesn't stop you. It doesn't take too long to get back to campus. Once outside your dorm, you are met yet again with intense arguing.

"Damnit Karlach, you can't skate out here! How many times do I have to tell you?!"

A man with short braids is shouting at a muscle-heavy woman, who is currently shredding on the stair railing.

"Why? Because your silly admin mom told you I can't? Just relax already, learn to have some fun."

The woman then sticks her tongue out at him.

"Why, I should tell Coach!"

"You wouldn't. You're too busy being the uptight SGA president to visit the gym."

"Karlach, please just go skate somewhere else."

"Wyll it's almost 11 pm. Where else would you like me to go?"

"Anywhere! Quite literally anywhere else!"

The woman, who you notice has shaved sides in her hair, finally sees you.

"Hey! You wanna come skate?"

She shouts across the little clearing in front of the dorm.

"Okay, no, do not encourage her please."

At this point, you try desperately to ignore them. It's been such a strange night already, and you just want to sleep. As long as Lae'zel and Shadowheart haven't burnt down the room yet. You pass by the man, who places a kind hand on your shoulder.

"It's Wyll by the way, your SGA president. Let me know if you need anything."

He gives a soft smile, and then turns to yell at Karlach again, but she's already gone.

"Ugh, damn you Karlach!"

When you finally get back to the room, it's oddly silent. Instead of trying to decide whether they're asleep or murdered each other, you simply go to your room, and head to bed almost immediately. You sit there for a while though, thoughts about the night buzzing in your head. Perhaps you'd tell Shadowheart about it tomorrow, see what she makes of the whole thing.

While you would've loved to wake up to the peaceful sun through your window, or perhaps maybe even your alarm clock, you're awoken to Lae'zel and Shadowheart screaming at 5 am.

"You know my leg is fucked, you can't just trip me like that!"

"Oh, seems I didn't notice. Whoopsies."

You can practically hear the smile on Shadowheart's face, until you instead hear the two start to get physical. Dreadfully picking up your legs and getting out of bed, you open the door and stomp down the hall.

"God damn it, can we not right now!"

They pause and stare at you. Lae'zel has Shadowheart in a chokehold with her elbow, and Shadowheart had just kicked her in the leg.

"I already had basically the worst night ever, and I would've liked to sleep in and not think about it, but no! Here you two are, screaming at each other! Does no one in this school know how to act?!"

With that, you head towards the front door, about to leave in your pajamas to simply get out of the dorm. When you slam the door open, it makes a loud thunk against someone who apparently just tried to knock on the door.

"Ugh, and why are you here!"

The pale 'red-eyed' man from last night was at your door for some reason.

"Because I'm trying to sleep, and these bitches are being too loud!"

Astarion yells over your shoulder at them.

"I forgot you were in this room. Sorry you have to deal with them."

You try to keep yourself from exploding from all the overwhelming stress.

"Respectfully, you cannot invite me out, introduce me to some fucking freak, admit you were trying to get me to work for said freak, and then fuck me, and then be a fucking weirdo about it!"

So much for not exploding.

"Wait, you two fucked?"

"Shadowheart, read the room!"

Lae'zel hisses.

"Yeah Shadowheart."

Astarion swipes a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"You were the one that started dragging us outside..."

He nonchalantly looks at his acrylics.

"Yes! Because yeah you're hot, and it was a weird stressful situation, and I haven't gotten any in a while, okay!"

He sort of just, stares at you wide-eyed.

"And then you thought 'oh, I'll just act like I'm completely uninterested afterwards, because that's normal people behavior,' like what's up with that? Didn't even want to at least say 'you know Tav, that was pretty good sex.' I mean I'm sure you've had better, I'm a little rusty, but damn! So yeah, maybe it was hot, but it kind of pisses me off when I feel used."

Astarion is entirely silent. The two women behind you are now no longer fighting, but instead staring at you while you rant at him.

"Oh, and another thing! I know you think you have all this pretty boy privilege, but you think you can just bribe a cop with sexual favors? Because what the fuck was that? But nooooo, you'll never get in trouble for anything because you're the city's favorite femboy. I can't even go an entire hour without having some article come across my feed with you and your six 'brothers and sisters,' which is also fucking weird by the way. So yeah, forgive me if I'm mad at you and all your arrogance."

You weren't looking at anything in particular while you were yelling these things, not really thinking about how you were airing his business out in front of your roommates. When you look at his face again he's... tearing up?

"I... I have to go."

And he's down the hall before you can say anything, wiping at his tears with the sleeves of his sweater.

"Holy shit."

Shadowheart laughs. You're in shock, unsure of why you just said all that. You were kind of mad at him, but you didn't think you'd make him cry or anything.

"Looks like someone finally told him like it is."

You turn around to two girls smiling, finally agreeing on something for once.

"I- is he gonna be okay?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. Probably just a bruised ego. He'll pay to have it fixed like everything else."

Lae'zel laughs at Shadowheart's comment.

"I'm happy we agree on one thing. That man, is a bitch."

You feel... guilty. Something still isn't right. Memories of the night before come into frame, Szarr's hand on his shoulder, Aurelia's comment about 'private business.' No, something is entirely wrong here. But then again, you know these types of things can be far too complex for someone of your level of fame, which is none. So, you simply listen to Shadow and Lae's quips, and the three of you bond in the common room for the morning.

~~~

His phone rings in his pocket when he gets back to his room, out of breath from the sudden emotion he wasn't expecting to feel. How had you seen through him so easily? How had he been so sloppy? Astarion takes the phone out of his pocket.

Cazador

The contact calling him made his skin crawl. He sniffled, trying to clear his nose, and picked up the phone.

"Mhm."

Yes, of course.

Yes, I'll be there.

No.

Why would I lie- yes. No. Yes, I already did.

Alright."

His hands tremble as Cazador hangs up. His memories float to the scathing read you just gave him, and then back to the night before. Without much thought, he tosses his phone, and it lands in the sink of his kitchenette, hitting each side of the aluminum from the strength of his throw. The need to scream, the need to get out, the need to run. And yet he's silent, still, and stagnant. Instead, he lies against an empty wall, making his way to the floor, crumbling into the pain. The never-ending pain.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

Radio Silent (Uni AU P. 10)

tw - mentions of abuse, themes of anxiety, general insecurity

The night fizzles out the way you expect it to, disappearing without a word to your friends in the diner, letting your new, yet reluctant friend, drive you home. You'd simply deal with Shadowheart when she got back to the dorm.

Just as Astarion said, he's gone the next morning, but the two of you text quite often. He finds it easier to talk to you through pixels on a screen, where he can pretend like you're not this very real person who knows far too much about him. On the plane ride to LA, he doesn't sleep, which isn't odd for him. Instead, he thinks about the past couple of days and how you've wriggled your way into his life, into his head. Instead of trying to put his feelings into tangible sentences, he makes a playlist while waiting the hours away and catches up on some much-needed reading.

Thursday comes around, and the group is pissed at him, as you expected them to be.

"Damnit, he's the reason we picked my lunch break to do this during anyways! You think he'd at least stick to plans like a reasonable individual."

"Gale, it's not like he chose to go on a spur-of-the-moment trip to California. It's a work thing, not in his control."

You almost sound a little angry when the words come out, knowing that he's probably going through some hell that all your friends don't know about. Gale picks up on this sentiment, and leaves the conversation at that, mumbling something about how they'll all just update him on the project details later. Indeed, you all talk in the group chat with him about plans for the upcoming assignment, which he sporadically responds to. Although, he always responds to your texts, even if he ignores the group chat. Astarion argues with himself about it in his head, trying to reason with himself, saying things like 'it's just because the group chat is overwhelming.' For how good of a liar he is, he's not good at lying to himself.

Friday morning, he goes radio silent, which you're not concerned by at first. He's busy, probably busier than you've ever been in your life. Yet, he had made time to text you since Monday night. It starts to worry you when Saturday and Sunday both pass with nothing new. You hold yourself back from asking if everything's alright, knowing if something is stressing him out it's probably better to just let him deal with it and get back to you. And yet, you don't talk to him until he's back, and you're not even the first one to hear that he's back on campus.

"Oh yeah, I saw him in the elevator earlier. Tried being nice like you said, I even waved! You should be proud. Doesn't seem like he appreciated it though."

Shadow rolls her eyes, almost covered by her bangs that she desperately needs to trim. You're not sure exactly why, but you rush to his dorm room, knocking frantically. It's Monday night, which is surprising. You could've sworn he said he'd be back Tuesday morning, but maybe you misremembered. The door creaks open.

"Oh, hello Tav."

Astarion's eyes are weary, which you chalk up to not being able to sleep on the plane.

"Hello? You haven't texted me since Thursday, what the hell? I thought you like died or something."

"Nope, not dead, very much alive. Got wrapped up in some work affairs over the weekend, fashion people can be quite dramatic. Either way, I apologize. I'm still quite new to the 'having a genuine friend' thing."

"Well, how's your arm?"

He scoffs.

"It's... it's fine. Weird to have someone ask."

At this point, he's opened the door and let you in. You're welcomed to a sight of half un-packed luggage and a stack of leather binded books on the coffee table.

"Holy shit Astarion, did you rob a bookstore while you were in California?"

"Nope, all from the library. Missing out on a week of school when you're a senior here comes with its disadvantages. For example, I have had no time to work on my thesis essay, and I've barely even unpacked from the trip itself. Although, I did snag this."

He takes out a garment bag that has been carefully finessed to fit in his suitcase without wrinkling whatever is hidden inside. His fingers nimbly move to unzip the bag, revealing a white faux fur coat.

"Now, do I wear too much white? Absolutely, but passing up on this? I could never."

You almost feel bad, not knowing anything about clothes or what makes them cool, but to your credit, you know it's a nice coat. He slips it on, happy with his latest thievery.

"Well, what do you think? Is it stunning, or is it stunning?"

In that moment, while you're about to make some quip like 'go look for yourself, you realize he has no mirrors in the dorm, not even in the bathroom that you've only ever caught a glance of.

"I would say look for yourself, but you don't have any mirrors. That's shocking."

"Well, I had the one in the bathroom removed. Guess I'm just not particularly a fan of reflections."

"How come?"

He stares at a detail on the sleeve of the coat.

"You get tired of seeing your face after a while."

"Well, I think it looks fabulous, and so do you."

"Wish I felt just as fabulous."

He lets out a small laugh, shrugging his way out of the blinding fabric. There's something left unsaid in the air, you can feel it as he goes to hang up his new treasure.

"What really happened this weekend?"

Astarion tenses, almost dropping the hanger he so delicately placed the jacket on.

"I... I'd rather not say. I know I told you a lot the other night, but there are truly some things best left as skeletons in the closet. Maybe in time, but not today. I can't today."

"That's okay. I was just worried, that's all."

"Funny, I'm so used to people prying all the time. It's pleasant, getting to have secrets when I talk to you."

He comes back out into the living room.

"Would you like to stay for a while? You don't have to help unpack or anything, just be here."

"Sure, as long as you don't mind. And I would gladly help you unpack. Besides, you have a master thesis to get back to."

"I suppose I do. Thanks, I won't forget this."

"What, like you need to trade some favor back or something? Because that's not necessary."

"You're too nice for your own good."

The pale man puts some soft R&B on, and the two of you go ahead and start putting all his things away. Although, he doesn't let you handle any of his nice clothes. You learn that the hard way when he bats your hand away from a pair of very expensive jeans.

"They're just jeans, I promise I won't taint them!"

"Yes, they are just jeans, but they're also 800-dollar jeans, and I am not risking it."

You continue to ask him about various articles of clothing, what shoots he took them from. He remembers every single one. Although, he does skip out on some details, brushing past parts of his tales without a second thought. You don't mind though, knowing it's probably just things he isn't ready to talk about. At some point you become distracted by the stack of books on the nearby table, and start looking at all the titles. They're all related to ethics, morality, or philosophy in some way, but particularly focused on the psychology of abusers and the abused.

"I thought you weren't a philosophy person?"

Astarion's voice almost makes you jump, taking you out of reading the back of one of the books.

"Is this what you're doing your thesis on?"

"I mean I'd like to, but I'm still not sure. Feel as though the head of the department will be surprised when I present it to him."

"How come?"

"Because I've always made my projects, lifeless, I guess. I've always written and studied by the book, never touched on emotional topics. Just don't want people asking questions."

"So, what specifically are you going to look into?"

"The philosophy of abusers, how power imbalances change our moral codes, that kind of thing."

You lightly place the book back in the stack.

"I think you should do it. If anyone asks, just say you were curious about it."

"That's true, I am known to be quite curious. Now, are you going to help me with the rest of this, or have you given up?"

The night passes by too fast for his liking, as the two of you talk while he prepares for the week ahead. It's past midnight when you finally check your phone, seeing that you've received a couple of cheeky messages about your absence from Shadow.

"Is it late already?"

Astarion checks him phone as well.

"Perhaps it's time for you to go get some sleep darling. After all, not everyone is as extreme of an insomniac as I am."

"Yeah, I guess I should probably get back. Happy you're back though, and that you're okay."

Without really thinking about it, you go for a side hug, and make your way to the door.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow Tav."

And his smile is warmer than normal, knowing there's something to look forward to after a torturous night of barely any sleep. Maybe opening up to a single soul isn't so bad after all.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #comfort #shadowheart #gale of waterdeep #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"I Don't Bite" (Uni AU P. 6)

Astarion's back! But it's kind of angsty so be warned

tw - description of wounds, hints at abuse/ed behavior

@justporo

When you wake the next morning at seven, you sit in bed for a while, thinking of what to do before your first class. Luckily you have until noon. You toss around the idea of going to get some breakfast, but something stops you in your tracks. You think of Astarion. He's been plaguing your thoughts, especially with how everyone seems to dismiss him so easily. You decide he at least deserves an apology for how you yelled at him. Even if you were upset, that wasn't the way to handle it.

So, before you can try and change your mind, you leave the dorm and make your way down the hall. You pause before knocking, trying to see if you can hear any scurrying about in his room. Nothing. You bring your knuckles to the door, lightly bringing them down. That noise is enough for you to hear someone get up and trudge over to the door.

"What do you-"

His eyes meet yours, and all of a sudden he isn't pissed anymore.

"Look, if you came back to yell at me, I got the hint. So you can go on with the rest of your day. Rest assured I won't bother you."

Astarion tries to close the door, but you push back.

"No I... I wanted to say sorry."

"Sorry? You want to apologize, to me?"

"I mean, yeah. Sure, our night out was a little off-putting, but it wasn't fair of me to assume all that stuff about you. And just with the way I've been hearing everyone talk, it feels wrong to just dismiss you I guess."

"Ah, people seem to love talking about me."

You realize he's still nervously peeking out from behind the door, not letting himself relax.

"Well, if you want to talk, I'd love to listen. And again, I'm really sorry."

When you try to turn and leave, he stops you.

"Come in. I could at least make you some coffee for your troubles, coming down to say sorry to me."

He props the door open and toys with his sleeve, quite particularly.

"I was just brewing more espresso anyway. Go on, sit. I don't bite. Unless you ask of course."

You take a seat on his couch, watching as he pours some of the espresso.

"Please don't tell me you're one of those pure black coffee people."

He scoffs.

"Oh of course not darling, I don't particularly enjoy torturing myself."

The two of you laugh lightly as he grabs some creamer from the fridge.

"Hope you enjoy caramel. It's the only thing I have."

"I can't really argue with free coffee."

"You and me both Tav."

You get a little bored sitting on the couch, so you go over to the counter to watch him pour the cups out. It's almost odd, seeing him in such a domestic space, enjoying something like coffee in the morning. He must've caught you staring.

"What? Don't often see models doing people things?"

"No- I mean... yeah, but I don't mean it in like a-"

"It's fine. I'm used to people having their perceptions of me."

As he's pouring his own cup, you go to grab yours, hands unsteady in the process. You accidentally drop yours, spilling some of it on Astarion's forearm, which causes him to wince in pain.

"I'm sorry, is it still hot?"

He doesn't respond to you, quickly rolling his sleeve up. You almost say sorry again, before you catch sight of his arm, which is covered in small red gashes. Without thinking, Astarion goes to rinse off his arm. You don't say anything, mainly because you're not sure what to say. You study the marks a little longer. They're fresh, new.

"Nope, not still hot. But certainly doesn't feel great."

He continues washing his arm, and you realize the marks are also identical, as if done by the same object, and clearly not accidental.

"Are you okay?"

He smirks.

"It's just a little bit of coffee, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"No I mean-"

"I know what you mean. And the answer is you don't need to know."

"They look bad though, have you cleaned all those off?"

"Eh, soap and warm water like most things. I'll be fine."

His hands are shaking again, and you realize for the first time just how scrawny his arm is. Sure, he's a slimmer guy, but you're a little surprised.

"Tav, if you're going to involve yourself with me, the best thing to learn is to stop asking questions you don't want to know the answers to. Because you don't want to know, and I can't tell. So let's just leave it at that."

After drying off his arm, dabbing it lightly with a clean paper towel, he pulls his sleeve back down, that same particular motion from earlier.

"But..."

You try to think of something to say, something that he'd listen to, but nothing comes of it, and your sentence fizzles out and dies in your throat.

"I just remembered, I have a meeting to be at soon. You should probably leave. I have to get dressed."

A lousy excuse, and a dour voice. It's as if he doesn't really want you to leave, but feels as if he needs you to. You hesitate, trying to decide if you should fight to stay, fight to ask further, ask the things you don't want to know the answers to. Instead, you give him your number and tell him to call if he needs anything. He laughs a little, and tells you he has everything he could possibly want, his acting skills not fully in it. And soon after, you leave, letting him have the space he clearly needs.

Astarion reprimands himself after you leave, knowing you know too much. Something in him trusts you though. Maybe it's the fact that you're the only person that's apologized to him genuinely in years, or the fact that he could easily manipulate you if he needed to. Either way, something about you is different, and it's terrifying. He takes a look at the wounds on his arm, gritting his teeth as the fabric pulls at the open gashes. Sure, you may be different, but what's better: the devil you know, or the devil you don't?

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

Muscle Memory (Uni AU P. 12)

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, drinking, slight mention of homophobia

That evening, after all of your friends have dispersed, after getting absolutely nothing done, you end up in Astarion's dorm. You're both sitting on his bed while he does your makeup, which he insisted upon. He complains every time you accidentally move or your eyelids twitch, but you know he doesn't actually care all that much.

"You know, you're the only person I've ever let in here."

You back away from his makeup brush.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't really like sharing my space with people. It's one of the only things I have that's truly mine, but I don't mind sharing it with you."

"Are you sure? Because we could always hang out in my dorm, or somewhere else."

"No, really, you're one of the only people I trust to be in here. You don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, you don't ask too many questions, you just exist here, like I do."

"I mean I'd never just look through your stuff. I feel like that's the bare minimum."

"You'd think so, but it gets to a point in a career like mine where nothing is really yours anymore."

At this point, Astarion has started on your face again, mindlessly talking.

"You said you started at sixteen right? Must've been hard, losing all that control so young."

"Well, I mean I didn't really have a choice. After all, I did get kicked out, and jobs for normal teenagers don't really cover the expenses of someone trying to be an adult already. Besides, I got in with a lot of disgusting agents, people who shouldn't have been involved with someone my age anyways."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Like I said, I did it to myself."

"You were just a kid though."

"Yeah, I guess I was."

The conversation goes silent for a moment as he grabs something else from his cosmetics bag.

"Why did you get kicked out, if you don't mind me asking?"

He raises an eyebrow slightly.

"Hm, no one ever actually asks me that. Then again, I guess I don't really tell anyone."

"I mean you don't have to tell me."

"No, no I don't mind. I came out, that's pretty much it. Funny when you're the star only child until you talk about liking men. I was miserable about it at the time, but I don't really care anymore. Besides, I have far too many other things to concern myself with."

He makes one more pass with a highlight, and then backs up to admire his work.

"There, you look wonderful my darling Tav. Perhaps you'll look more beautiful than all the exotic flowers you'll get to see tonight."

"You're sweet. Thank you, for all of this, for opening up to me. I know it hasn't been all that long, but you really are the best friend I've been looking for."

Astarion goes to respond, but is interrupted by his ringtone going off, interrupting the nice music he had playing. It's Cazador calling, Szarr's first name as he had told you a couple days ago. Apparently he thought his last name would sound better for the brand, and has everyone call him by it at all times, unless you're in his private inner circle. To your surprise, your pale friend declines the call.

"Did you just-"

"Yep. Not letting him ruin my night, I just can't right now. Besides, I have to make sure you're ready for this date."

"You can't-"

"What, just not pick up his call? I guess you're right. I've done it before though, and he'll simply send me some nasty voicemail. I'll get punished for it later I'm sure, but if he didn't do it to me, it would just be one of the other six. Better that I take the brunt of it."

"But why?"

"I've been working with him longest, I'm the most used to it. If I can deal with it, it's better that way. Being the scapegoat, it gives me some small way to protect the rest of them."

"You shouldn't have to though."

"Of course not, none of us should have to, but I'm just playing the hand I got dealt Tav. That's all any of us can do, especially when the house always wins."

"So what will you do, until you have to see him again I mean?"

"Oh, there's a fitting tomorrow morning. In the meantime? I'll probably go find a cheap place to get drunk, have sex with a stranger and try to forget. At least until tomorrow."

You nervously stare at your hands.

"Is that why you had sex with me that night? To forget?"

He looks off into the distance, trying to find that evening in his mind.

"I can't even remember. Maybe? Or maybe I was just scared. It's hard to say. It becomes easy after a while, to just offer up your body to strangers. Easier than other options at least. It's like muscle memory."

He then stands up, and offers you a hand to do the same.

"But anyways, enough about me. You have a suitor to go see, and I think he'll find you just ravishing."

Your eyes meet his, that reddish-brown not fully present with you.

"Just stay safe tonight, okay?"

"Oh darling, as if I'm ever truly safe. I'll try though, since you asked so nicely. Now, go on and get downstairs, or else you'll be late. Don't want to keep the handsome nature man waiting."

You thank him again for helping you get ready, giving him a tender hug, the kind that secretly makes him melt. And soon enough, you're out the door and downstairs, met with Halsin and a box of chocolates.

~~~

Astarion doesn't even have the energy at that point to clean up the scattered cosmetics across his sheets. He almost plays Cazador's voicemail, but instead turns his phone off and leaves it on the nightstand. Just like he said, he finds some bar that won't hurt his wallet too much, and drinks the night away, thinking about the possible strangers he could lose himself in. He tries to justify it, knowing that rolling around in the sheets with someone would make the thoughts go away, give him a break from the constant nagging in his head, but for some reason he just can't do it. In fact, he hasn't been able to force himself to sleep with anyone since that night in the diner parking lot. He'd never admit it, but he's been thinking about what you said that evening, how he was just someone trying to survive. And he secretly hopes you're right, that he hasn't truly tainted his soul, that somewhere deep down there's a good piece of him left. After all, he's pining after someone like you, someone who gave him the benefit of the doubt when he didn't deserve it, someone who is far better than him. At least that's what he believes, that even if he did tell you like Gale suggested, it wouldn't be enough. He wouldn't be enough for you, but maybe this Halsin character could be, and there's no way he'd deprive you of that chance.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau #halsin

[thatfreshi]

"It's Vile" (Uni AU P. 9)

You guys can clearly tell I'm feeling better bc holy shit, I've been writing like a machine.

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, blackmail

You tell Astarion which diner you're at, and quickly tell your friends that you have to handle something. You almost feel bad leaving Gale with the handsy lovers, but you know it must be important if he called. You don't really know why though, considering you barely know him at this point. It feels like hours, waiting outside the diner while the sun starts to go down, until eventually his dinged-up white car pulls into the parking lot. You walk over, full of uncertainty, and sit in the passenger's seat.

"Hey, you alright?"

He unbuckles the seat belt, curling up and leaning against the driver's seat to look at you.

"What do you want from me?"

"What?"

"Everyone wants something from me, so what do you want? I can't stop thinking about it, ever since you came over this morning. You're too nice, you have plenty of reasons to hate me, and yet you keep being kind. So what do you want from me?"

You're dumbfounded.

"Because we already had sex, and I know you're upset about it. Which, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I did it, and you're right, it was wrong of me to pretend like it was nothing. I'm just so used to it all meaning nothing. Everything in my life means nothing and you want to know stupid shit like what my favorite color is."

He wipes at his eyes, regretting it soon after, feeling the fabric of his sweater rub against that cut-up forearm again.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you. I just think you seem nice."

"I, seem nice? You're a bad liar."

"No, I'm serious. I know we got off to a weird start, but you seem cool. Maybe I'm weird, I don't know, but I don't really care what other people think. Besides, it's not fair to judge without knowing the whole story."

"You don't want the whole story."

"Not if you don't want to tell me, but I'd gladly listen."

"No, you wouldn't. It's all just words Tav, you don't mean that. No one ever means it. They say it to get into some fancy event or so I can get them a free drink or so they can make out with me in some dark corner of a party. No one ever means it."

"You don't have to believe me, but I mean it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because if I were as stressed as you, I'd want someone to listen. And I imagine it's hard not being able to say all the things you want or do all the things you want."

"Even if I told you, you'd leave. Pretend we didn't have this conversation, or maybe sell the story to some magazine. Why do you think I don't talk to people? Why I think it's easier to just let people hate me? Like Gale and Shadowheart? I'd rather them just blindly loathe my existence than know the truth."

He's shaking, truly and deeply bothered by your innocent desire to befriend him.

"Just tell me what you want from me so I can get it over with. Please."

The spectacle in front of you isn't lost on you. When he called you upset, you hadn't expected this, any of it.

"I just want you to have someone in your corner. That's all. I just want to be nice, I don't know."

"People don't want to be nice, they want power."

You shrug, trying not to cry.

"Power's never really been my thing. Is it so hard to believe I just want a friend?"

He chokes out a laugh.

"You have no idea."

Astarion relaxes a little now, putting his feet up on the dash.

"Something must be so incredibly wrong with you."

"Maybe so. Oh well."

"You said you want to hear all the scary stuff I have to tell you right? That you'd listen to all that?"

"Like I said, only if you want to share."

"Alright then. I got kicked out at sixteen, lived in this damn car for two years, started modeling because I've always been told I was 'gonna be a heartbreaker.' I've thrown my body at people to get jobs, stolen countless designer pieces that nobody would miss. And then Szarr contacted me at 18, told me he'd blacklist me from the industry if I didn't work for him."

He goes back to the sorrow of those younger years for a moment, you can see it shift in his expression.

"I was the first you know. You think my arm is bad? You have no idea. But I'm stuck in this contract with him, and I need the money to pay for school, but he takes ninety percent anyways. So I've continued to steal, anything from half-used makeup to hair products. Turns out it's really easy to get people to shut up about seeing you take something that isn't yours if you're hot... and I probably broke at least seven NDAs by telling you all of that. So, is that what you wanted? I can see the headline now, you'd make thousands."

Astarion's words drip in spite, trying anything to get you to admit you're using him.

"I'm sorry, that you've had to go through any of that. Truly, that sounds horrible."

He leans back staring at the ceiling of the old car, and starts to laugh.

"God, who are you? I did all of that to myself. I'm the one who used sex to get things I wanted. I'm the one that asked for this."

"Sounds to me like you just wanted to survive."

He chuckles, and rolls his head to meet your eyes.

"I guess I did, huh? It's barely been working."

You both sit in silence for a bit, listening to the idle engine, and you wonder what you can even say. He's right, there's pretty much no way out. What an evil thing, to take advantage of some kid who just wanted to go to college, and loop him into some horrible contract? No wonder he doesn't trust anyone, he's been taught that way, that helping hands only hold knives, that promises don't hold. It's vile.

"So, this is the part where you sleep with me, so you don't tell anyone anything I just told you, right?"

You go to laugh, and then realize he's serious.

"No... no not at all. I'm just here to be a friend, if that's what you want. Only if that's what you want."

"Damn you. You just... you keep making me want to trust you, and that's- it's terrifying. But I wouldn't mind, having a friend. Maybe it would even be nice."

You hold out a hand.

"Here's to being friends then."

Astarion doesn't extend his at first, thinking on it, and then slowly shakes hands with you.

"Sure. To being friends."

A smile spreads across your face, and he reciprocates, if only slightly.

"I uhm, when I saw Szarr today, he said that the seven of us have to go on a trip with him for a week, some important stuff across the country I guess. So, I'll be gone tomorrow morning, but maybe we can text?"

"Of course, I'd love that."

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #comfort #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Some Kind of Melancholic Mist" (Uni AU P. 8)

tw - themes of anxiety

As all good moments do, this one ends. You're almost too busy taking in Astarion's genuine smile to notice when he goes to check his phone. You don't pry, but he clearly isn't happy with whoever's calling him.

"Sorry, I have to take this."

The mood shifts very suddenly, like it felt at the party that night. You stay silent, not wanting to interrupt. When he puts his phone up to his ear, you notice the scrap piece of paper you wrote your phone number on, folded in the back of his phone case.

"Yes?

You said tomorrow.

No I-

Yes.

Yes I know.

When?

Now? That's-

Yes.

Yes, of course."

The call ends abruptly, and you see his hand tense around his phone.

"You have to go?"

"Yes, sadly. This though? It was... it was nice. And I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I believe you have poor taste in people, and I hope it doesn't get you hurt. That's all. I'll see you around."

Before you can say goodbye, he's gone, like he turned into some kind of melancholic mist. The magic of the moment is tainted. It's as if that entire hour disappeared, sand running through your fingers. Not sure what to do with the sudden downfall of your feelings, you travel back to your dorm room, and find Gale standing outside. He's on the phone, a big smile across his face.

"Of course. I'll see you then."

You have an evil little smirk on your face when he notices you approaching.

"Was that... your secret lover?"

He almost wants to roll his eyes, but talking about her is just too exciting.

"Yes. God, she's spectacular. Surprised she even wanted to start seeing me, but it's far too late to question it now! Just have to enjoy the glorious hand I've been dealt."

"Nice to know at least one of us is happy. You here to see Shadow?"

"Yes. Apparently Karlach messaged her privately, asking if she wanted to go to some diner tonight, and now she's all nervous."

"Then I guess we have ourselves a mission Gale."

The two of you shake hands like you're in some cheesy sitcom, and laugh to yourselves. He holds the door open for you after you scan your key.

"Where have you been by the way? I saw you skulk off with your little lover boy."

"It's not like that. I just think he's nice, misunderstood. We talked about philosophy stuff for a while. It was really nice actually."

Your conversation is interrupted by Shadowheart, who walks up to the two of you with both eyes done in a completely different makeup style, somehow both being intensely sad and greyscale.

"There you are Gale! I can't decide if I should do the winged liner with the glitter shadow, or the smudge with the matte! I have like an hour!"

He grabs her hands.

"Okay first of all, you know doing the smudge only looks cool on TikTok. Second of all, you would really give up the opportunity to show her that you know how to do a cat eye?"

"Ugh, you're right. See, this is why we're best friends! Because I'm pretty and fun and smart, and you're the voice of reason!"

She walks off to the bathroom to wipe off the right eye, and Gale follows.

"Hey, I am also pretty and fun and smart thank you very much!"

You follow the two of them to the tiny bathroom as Shadowheart haphazardly starts removing the eyeshadow.

"You two have to come with me, or else I will make a fool of myself. And you know I hate making a fool of myself."

"Shadow, she most certainly wanted this to be a date."

"Yes, and I won't get a second one if I look like an idiot. Please?"

"I'll go, but if I'm a mood killer that's your fault."

She then turns to you.

"Uh, sure! I have nothing else to do."

"Thanks! I would hug you guys, but you know I hate touching people."

After arguing with Shadowheart about what outfit she should wear, the three of you pile into Gale's car.

"I'm telling you, if I have to drive there I will throw up."

"Fine, I'll believe you, but you're paying me for gas."

You sit in the back because Shadow calls shotgun, but you don't mind the roominess. Gale's car is one of those sensible vans, a mom-mobile type. It's close to 4:30 now, and you stare out at people walking down the sidewalk, going about their daily lives. You wonder about the strangers, if they're happy, if they're off to do something important. When you get bored of theorizing on the lives of others, you go back to scrolling through your phone, and you're met with a message in the newly made group chat.

mama_k: Hey guys! Just wanted to say hi :)

Shadow giggles in the front seat.

"Agh, she's adorable! Gale, I don't know how you don't understand the hype around her. Karlach's wonderful."

"Well, firstly I'm a taken man. But also you barely know her."

"She's like a golden retriever! Tav, you get it right? Or are you still thinking about your new pale friend?"

"I'm telling you, it's not like that."

"It was like that when you had sex with him."

You kick the back of Gale's seat.

"He didn't even like the sex anyways! So it's whatever."

Shadowheart turns around to look at you.

"Wait, you're telling me you had sex with him, and it was bad?"

"No, that's the confusing part, is that it was really good, he just didn't seem into it?"

"Well, when you fuck as much as he does, I'm sure you get bored."

You and Shadow both turn to Gale.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, working with Mystra I hear plenty of things from other people in the arts. Assistants, hairdressers, make-up artists. Let's just say plenty of them have experiences with him."

"Well, I mean whatever floats your boat I guess. I'm not one to judge, love a good one-night stand when I'm desperately single."

Gale and Shadowheart continue to talk about her ho phase, as well as her upcoming date that you two are crashing. You think hard about Gale's comment, and what that means for you. Technically, it means nothing, especially if you were just one in a long line of hookups, but why go through the effort if he didn't even enjoy himself? Perhaps you really were just that rusty. Before your thoughts run any deeper, you've arrived at the diner, a small place with an arcade in the back. Karlach knocks on the window next to Shadow, scaring everyone in the car. When everyone calms down from the fright, the four of you make it inside.

"So, you brought along Gale and Tav?"'

The wrestler seems a little dissapointed.

"I just thought they'd be fun! But I'm sure if we get bored of them, we can ditch them."

The two women laugh, grazing hands, which causes Shadow's face to go red fairly quickly. All four of you order some greasy food, cheap stuff to share between all of you, and you quickly find yourself sitting in a small booth next to Gale, across from the two sapphic lovebirds. You all shoot the shit for a while, picking at boneless wings and cheese fries, feeling like true college kids. It's close to 6 now, and Karlach has slowly inched her arm over Shadowheart's shoulder. While you smile at the sweet moment, the two staring into each other's eyes like middle schoolers, your phone vibrates in your pocket. A call from an unknown local number. You step outside and answer the phone.

"Tav?"

The voice from this afternoon.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk... please?"

You almost don't know what to say, surprised Astarion even called.

"Sure. What about?"

"No, I mean in person. I really don't like phone calls, I just- I'm freaking out."

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #fluff #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

Origins (University AU)

Here's some little backstories I put together for all our faves. Undecided on how I will write Tav for this, but I'm excited nonetheless. (Also it will still be Astarion x Tav bc it's the only way I know how to live but I wanna write more of the other characters)

Astarion Ancunín: A senior studying philosophy in hopes of pursuing a law degree in grad school. Modeling since 16, he's recently rose to fame under a designer called Szarr, along with six other young promising models. While rumors always spread about Szarr and his work, hit piece articles never seem to make it to the news.

Gale Dekarios: After excelling in the arts, Gale has found tutorship under Ms. Mystra, who has found great pleasure in helping him with his thesis project. She noticed him early on in his college career, and the two have become a very powerful pair in the art world, but it seems as though she sees him as way more that a student, always coddling him as her prodigy.

Karlach Cliffgate: Perhaps an odd choice for an esteemed university, Karlach got into school through a wrestling scholarship, and takes her sport very seriously. However, it seems Coach Zariel expects a lot out of her athletes, including some not-so-ethical doping and 'accidentally' injuring other team's wrestlers. However, Karlach has no other options, and can't afford to lose her scholarship.

Wyll Ravenguard: Son of the dean, Wyll is quite an interesting student. Despite having a blood relationship with the dean, the two are never seen talking. Instead, Wyll has taken over the SGA, and works closely with school admin Ms. Mizora, who has started using Wyll's place as SGA president to pull some strings in the university.

Shadowheart: Currently studying biology for her undergrad degree as a junior, Shadowheart is quite in tune with her religious background. Despite growing up with different beliefs, a nearby church has caught her eye, and its leader has promised her the impossible, at the price of suffering.

Lae'zel: After being trained to run in the Olympics since she was young, Lae'zel finds herself injured during her junior year of college, unsure of what to do with her life now. Will she be able to run again, or will the people she's grown up with and admired for so long throw her to the side, leaving her a pent up college student who didn't even really want a degree?

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #freshiau

[thatfreshi]

"Deny Him" (Uni AU P. 2)

This might be the weirdest party you've been invited to.

tw - alcohol/drugs slightly mentioned, light description of sex, hints at abuse

@justporo

You're a little shocked, immediately being invited to a party by a model who doesn't even know you. Astarion looks you up and down, his eyes narrowed.

"Okay, well you most definitely cannot go like this. Come darling, I'm sure I have some clothes to spare."

He doesn't wait for you, simply beginning to walk, expecting you to follow. You do indeed follow, and he just keeps talking.

"So what do you think of our dear Shadowheart?"

"She doesn't seem to like you."

He shrugs.

"Not many people do. I'm an acquired taste, for only the most refined palettes."

He goes into his coat pocket, grabbing his room key, quickly entering.

"I know just the thing to give you, mainly because I'm so tired of it sitting in my closet.

The room is quite nice. You put together in your head that RAs must get their own rooms, because it's set up more like an apartment than a dorm. The two of you walk into his bedroom, which is surprisingly empty. It's also quite dark, as he took the liberty of putting up blackout curtains. Astarion opens his closet, which is full of random mismatched designer pieces, ranging over the past six years. He's precise as he moves the hangers around, finding a floral jacket.

"Here. You can keep it. It's so 2017 anyways."

You don't fully understand what that means, and you're not sure if being 'so 2017' is an insult, but you go along with it. The jacket fits pretty well for it not being tailored to your body.

"And if you ever need some extra money, you can probably sell that for a quick five hundred dollars."

Your eyes go wide, suddenly very scared to ruin a piece of fabric. Why is he giving a stranger something so expensive? He continues to look around in his nightstand, you're not sure for what. You start trying to remember what you've read about this man. There's been a lot of talk online recently on if his eyes are actually red, or if they're just contacts.

"So, are your eyes really red?"

He laughs.

"Gods no. That's the magic of editing my dear. Technically they're brown, but they look red in some lighting, and my editors have decided to play into it."

"And the hair?"

"Oh, it looks far too healthy to be bleached. All natural darling. Have you never seen an albino before?"

"I guess I haven't."

Without saying anything, he finally finds what he's looking for, a short gold necklace adorned with opals.

"Now, I do want this back, and if you break it I will ruin your life, promise."

He clasps is around your neck, hooking it properly on the first try.

"There. Decent enough I suppose. Besides, I don't have time to give you a proper makeover. You do have good bone structure though. Anyways, off we go!"

Shadowheart was right, he really doesn't stop for anything. It's a little intriguing though, how fast his brain works. All of his movements are so precise, decisive. Even something as simple as opening the door, the way his fingers wrap around the doorknob is carefully thought out. It's as if someone's following him, looking for mistakes, jotting down everything he gets wrong.

The two of you make some small talk on the way to the parking garage, which he doesn't seem all that interested in. He still walks in front of you, his coat leading close behind him because of just how fast he walks.

"So, what exactly is this party you're taking me to?"

"Just something Szarr put together for him and a couple of designer friends. The seven of us though, we're expected to be everywhere he is."

You can't see him, but he says it through gritted teeth.

"Why?"

"I've always assumed it's to show off. He likes to make it clear that he has refined taste in models, especially to his peers."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

Your question stops him in his tracks, as if no one's ever asked. You almost run into his back due to the sudden stop.

"No."

He says it slowly, and continues walking again, cautious at first. Nothing else is said of it. When you approach Astarion's car, it's more run-down than you expected. It's clearly an older model, something that's been repaired multiple times. You take the shotgun seat. The car ride is silent, and you mainly watch the details of his hands as he drives. They're a little shaky, slender. You have to admit, they're quite attractive. You watch as he shifts gears when you get onto the main street. It's almost peaceful, the silence, the city lights at night. Of course, until there are red and blue lights behind you.

"Shit. I'm already going to be late."

He hisses, pulling over to the side of the road. Oddly enough, he doesn't go to grab his driver's license. Instead, he just rolls down his window, waiting for the officer to come up to him. You watch in awe at how he just doesn't seem to care.

"License and- oh not you again."

He slides his shades down.

"Hello darling. Nice evening, isn't it?"

"I can't keep letting you get away with speeding."

"Oh, what's five miles over the speed limit?"

"Illegal, that's what it is."

"I'm sure I could make it worth your while if you let me off with a warning."

His words become slow and drawn out, like nectar from his tongue.

"You're lucky you know people around here. Go on, get out of here."

And with that, the officer leaves, and Astarion pulls back onto the road, not even waiting for the police car to leave. You're in awe of his audacity.

"Did you just... did you just try to bribe him with sexual favors?"

"Hm, did I? Bad habits are hard to kill I suppose."

He doesn't say anything else, leaving you to ponder his actions. Perhaps he's a little spoiled at his level of fame, but there's something else, and you can't quite put your finger on it. Before you can come to any kind of conclusion, you're parked outside some unassuming bar.

"Here we are darling. Don't worry, this place has a basement level that's much nicer than meets the eye."

When you make it inside, there's a single bartender cleaning beer mugs. Astarion gives her a nod, and walks to the back, where a door leads to a small staircase.

"After you."

His smirk is different now, almost as if he changed it on purpose. You walk down, and he follows closely behind. The sounds of music and chatter fill your ears, and the smell of smoke hits your nostrils, almost making you cough. You try to clear your throat, earning a chuckle from the model. When you reach the floor, the room is filled with a thin haze of smoke, with plenty of rich-looking people draping themselves across velvet chairs, talking about whatever yacht they just invested in and what stocks they're insider trading.

"Well, look who decided to show up. Szarr's been looking for you."

You recognize this woman as Aurelia, another one of the seven. Her reddish-brown hair is put back in multiple braids. Astarion is slightly tense at Aurelia's words.

"What did he say?"

For the first time since you met him less than a hour ago, he sounds uncertain. The woman meets your eyes, and then looks back at him.

"Private business. I'd be quick about it. Sure being late won't help matters much."

He sighs.

"Alright, well take my friend Tav here. I'll be back."

Just like that, he's gone.

"Tav? What a fun name. It's Aurelia, but I'm sure you've heard. My, my, he picked a gorgeous one, didn't he?"

It's almost as if she's looking right through you. Then, you process her words.

"What do you mean 'picked?'"

"We often scout for other models, for lesser shows that Caz- Szarr, is involved in. His Winter showcase is coming up, and Astarion hasn't exactly been pulling his weight as of recent. I assume he found you to try and appease him. After all, your bone structure is wonderful."

The same thing he told you earlier.

"I assume though that he was sloppy, and didn't tell you this beforehand."

"No, he didn't mention it."

"Well don't worry. Szarr will give you the whole spiel on why you should work for him, the fame and glamor, the money."

She gets close to you, wrapping her hand around your ear.

"Deny him."

Before you can ask her what she could possibly mean, or why you should deny him, Astarion comes back with Szarr in tow. Of course, you've never seen him in person, but his energy is quite off-putting. His black hair is slicked back, and his neck is adorned in many expensive chains.

"And this is Tav? A pleasure."

Without asking, he leaves a kiss on your hand, lasting on your skin a little too long.

"I'm sure you've seen my work, and my gorgeous children."

Something is wrong. Extremely wrong. You don't know what, but his voice makes you feel nauseous. Why would he call them his children?

"Of course. Although, I will admit I'm not much for fashion."

His mouth droops slightly, but it's all an act. He already knew what you were going to say.

"What a shame. And here I was just thinking about how your shoulders would make my latest dress look spectacular. Well, I'll leave you all to socialize then."

As he begins to walk away, he lingers by Astarion for a moment, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"And perhaps lay off the champagne tonight? You're looking a little puffy."

His hand grips the pale man's shoulder, causing him to wince a little, before he disappears into the crowd.

"What did you say to them Aurelia?"

"Just that you were trying to pimp them out to our lovely boss."

"God damn it, can you just keep your mouth shut?!"

You must look hurt, because when Astarion meets your eyes again, he almost looks guilty.

"It's fine. I'll find some other way to get back in his good graces. Apologies Tav. Most people jump at the opportunity to model for a man like that. I figured you would be that same."

"Like I said, you're losing your touch. Soon enough you won't be his favorite anymore."

The whole thing is making your head spin. This whole thing with Szarr, it almost feels like a cult. Your anxiety is spiking, your body screaming at you to leave. You listen, and turn to make a quick exit back up the stairs.

"Tav, wait."

Light footsteps follow you up the stairs.

"No, this is weird! Whatever's going on here, it's not right. Something isn't right."

As you hit the top floor, his hand grips around your wrist, gracefully turning you to look back at him. He was right, in the moonlight his eyes do look red.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you into all of this, I've just been a little... desperate. It really is fine, but my plan wasn't to make you uncomfortable."

"How do you work with him? He seems, disgusting."

He looks off to the side, clearly thinking about what to say. Instead of speaking though, his eyes meet yours again, his gaze bouncing between yours and your lips.

"Aurelia was right. You are gorgeous."

The tone suddenly shifts, and his hands creeps up from your wrist to your face, pulling you into a kiss. You give in, the attraction for him somehow growing. He laces a hand in your hair, and soon you're both stumbling back out to his car, forgetting about the events from moments ago. The two of you fall into the back seat of the small car. Maybe you go along with it since you haven't slept with anyone in a while, or maybe because you simply can't pass up the opportunity that's been presented to you. It's mind-altering though, the sex. The same way he is with everything else, he's precise and decisive. He knows every spot on your body as if he's studied it his whole life. When things wind down, and you both catch your breath, something in his eyes shifts, pushing his hair back into place.

"We should get back. Sure you have a busy day tomorrow."

With that, you're putting your top on in the back seat of a stranger's car. When you do get back in the shotgun seat and look over at him, you remember the police stop, and what he said to you after.

Bad habits are hard to kill.

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