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#for the sake of our sanity I will hope nevertheless that this time we’ll be rewarded for our patience
voilaammayi · 4 months
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us all, starting yet another one sherlock adaptation and telling ourselves it’s hope and not delusion to expect johnlock to happen maybe this time:
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Thanksgiving with the Shie Hassaikai headcanons? Can we also pretend Pops is awake for this too? 🥺
(No worries! We always pretend Pops is awake because I live in a constant state of denial where I pretend Kai isn’t an asshole that put him in a coma. Anyway lol, let’s just pretend you work for the Hassaikai for this one! Ps: I was hoping someone would request this)
~Thanksgiving with the Hassaikai~
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headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
-Although you’ve only been employed to the Hassaikai for 10 months so far, everyone already knew your personality well enough to see this coming. That’s why when you called an emergency meeting, nobody was surprised at your request for celebrating Thanksgiving together. However, that didn’t make it easy for getting everyone to agree. Rappa, Tabe, Deidoro, Pops, and Toya were excited for it! Hojo, Tengai, Nemoto, and Chrono were indifferent and didn’t mind trying it. The only complaints were from Kai (as usual when you suggested something fun) and Mimic (who didn’t see the point in it). Thankfully Pops was delighted by you from the very moment you showed up at the base. So of course he was on your side. Since he was still the big boss, there was nothing anyone could do to deny you. 
-”Okay everyone is required to bring something so we can have a feast. Work in teams to get this stuff done, and I’ll do the assigning! So Pops, you don’t have to worry about a single thing okay? Don’t worry about getting anything together but if you absolutely want to then I don’t mind.” You smiled at him and he cheerfully nodded. “Okay here’s the line up: Rappa and Katsukame are in charge of the Turkey. I’m putting a lot of faith in you guys. The turkey is the star of the show and I need it done perfectly! Or at least...as good as you can manage. Tengai and Mimic can handle the devilled eggs. Deidoro and Hojo are in charge of getting the drinks. Please do not show up with only alcohol. In fact, I’m mainly counting on you Hojo to make sure Sakaki doesn’t do this. Now Tabe and Setsuno are in charge of getting the plates, cups, cutlery, and the deserts. Toya I’d focus on doing the deserts so Tabe won’t get tempted to eat them. Finally Overhaul and Chrono can get the side dishes. This includes Macaroni, Greens, Cranberry Sauce, any and all side meats like chicken or whatever. Ceaser salad, Potato salad, etc. You guys get the drift. The reason why I put so much on you is because I’m confident you guys can handle the load. Finally I’ll be working with Shin to get the Ham. That’s all! Any questions?” Immediately you got hands in the air.
Pops: “May I help make some of the main dishes?” He asked with slight puppydog eyes. Rather childlike for his old age, but you couldn’t deny him even if you wanted to. “Pops we just want you to relax as the head of the table, but if you really want to then you may attempt it.” 
Deidoro: “How much and what kind of alcohol am I in charge of?” His eyes were super focused causing you to laugh a bit. “Okay well let’s not go overboard first of all. It’s not like a Halloween party or anything wild like that. We’re getting together over dinner and expressing thanks for the things we received so graciously.” You explained. He paused and deadpanned. “So...just wine then?” ...”Yeah, just wine. And not the strong kind either. Maybe you can get a little Sake for yourself.”
Rappa: “Yes uh, how in the fuck am I supposed to cook this shit?” Katsukame punched his shoulder. “You big idiot, we bake it!” Rappa punched him back as a reply. “Fucking DUH, but like what kind of seasonings???” Katsukame punched him again. “Probably something not too heavy so we focus more of the fucking flavor of the dressing in side of it.” Rappa once again punched back as a rebuttal. “Fuck off, cilantro is all you had to say you bastard.” You immediately had to speak up between them before their playful banter would turn into an entire indoor death match. “Okay guys, don’t focus too hard on it. This is kinda western so just look up some recipes and videos please? And most importantly, always have a back-up turkey on hand just in case you guys mess up the first one.”
Kai: “Yeah I have a question. Where the hell do you get off on telling me what to do? I’m you’re boss and you’re just barely high enough up to even be considered a precept.” Pops immediately got up and slapped the back of Kai’s head. “Bite your tongue Chisaki and apologize!” Kai grumbled and bowed for a second while uttering a short apology. Chrono chuckled off to the side as he tried to hold back his laughter. 
Mimic: “Who’s wallet is this coming out of???” You smiled at him and he gulped. “Well not from our pay. We’ll call it a holiday event and pull from the reserves. The yakuza has been thriving lately under Pops of course. Unless anyone wants to donate?” You looked at Kai with fluttering lashes and he glared at you. “Fuck fine. I’ll cover the expenses on my end.” You smiled and nodded. 
-If only from that point on things could’ve went well but there were just too many obstacles of course. Not on you and Nemoto’s end of course! You two were efficient and quick. You got in and out of the grocery store in under 2 hours with the perfect ham. You agreed to go to his apartment to cook it together since the house kitchen at the base would go to Pops, Chrono, and Kai more than likely. And the lower part of the base kitchen would belong to Rappa and Rikiya. The TRUE issues arose on the ends of everyone else. Pops was an angel and the food he attempted to make was reasonable, but the old man overdid it and ended up making 4 of the same cakes. What were you going to do with exactly 4 red velvet cakes??? Anyway, as to be expected, Rappa and Rikiya fucked up BOTH of the turkeys. You had to make them search all around town to find a pre-done turkey on the morning of Thanksgiving itself. They eventually found one from a generous donor in exchange for that person having their debt to the yakuza swept under the rug. Chisaki and Chrono did a pretty good job but they took so long that half of the stuff was still being set up when it was time to start dinner. Tabe actually did an okay job at setting the table up. The real surprise was that SETSUNO was the one that was tempted and ended up munching corners off of the deserts. Of course Sakaki showed up with a wide variety of alcohol that Hojo didn’t even notice he had snuck into the other shopping cart. Meanwhile Tengai and mimic had decorated the devilled eggs rather poorly. Tengai believed the minimal was better and Mimic was trying to cut corners with price/quality. Nevertheless everything was set up and you all began to review the things you were thankful for.
“Well I just wanna start off by saying that I’m thankful for this job and the bonds I’ve made with you all not just as coworkers but as people. I truly consider the Hassaikai to be like family.”
Pops: “I want to thank everyone as well for working so hard for our little family here. I also want to thank you Y/N for bringing some youthful joy into my life once again.”
Kai: “I suppose I’m thankful for my good health and sanity dealing with all of you on a daily basis.”
Chrono: “Yo, I’m thankful for my last paycheck but also for the years I’ve served here. It kinda has been almost like a fam to me yknow. Not trying to get sappy or anything but thanks you guys.
Mimic: “This is weird but I guess I’ll try it. I’m thankful for uh...the opportunities set forward in front of me.”
Nemoto: ”I’m very much thankful for our leader, and also for master Overhaul. I appreciate you for allowing me to strive in my work the way that I do. I can only hope to continue pleasing you both as my time goes on at this organization. That is all.”
-Deidoro: “Thanks to this damn Saki I’ve already had 2 and a half cups of while everyone wasn’t listening. Also thankful for my liver as well.”
-Hojo: “Well I guess I can say I’m thankful for everyone here and for the boss when he took me in off the street and healed me after I almost died.”
Setsuno: “Yeah thanks for giving me purpose again boss. I’m thankful for that too.”
Tabe: “Food...friends...found family...”
Katsukame: “Fucking thanks for letting us have enough chance after we fucked up two of those damn turkeys. I thought you were gonna kill us Y/N.” 
Tengai: “I’m rather thankful for my sanity as well, after dealing with this job so much...”
Rappa: “This shit is cheesy but damn it I’m thankful for everything here too! I aint much at speeches so I’m gonna stuff my face now.” 
-So there you go. It may not have been the most conventional thanksgiving but it was something along the lines of a ‘perfect disaster’ all in it’s own. You can only sit back and look at everyone eating and talking before you realize that a Christmas party might not be so bad to start planning for either.
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hollenka99 · 5 years
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The City of Angels
Summary: Jameson moves to California with his family. Things are starting fall into place and the family expands.
May 5, 1911
Dear Pearl,
Do you recall asking me if you could join us in New York? I reckon this would have been around the time I preparing to propose to Siobhan. Well, I'm afraid you won't be able to live in New York with us after all.
You are, however, more than welcome to join us in Los Angeles when we move there in the summer. Edison is driving many of us to leave New York so his schemes won't affect our businesses. I hear the landscape varies greatly in California, perfect for filming on location, and the weather is generally good throughout the year. Another advantage to moving to Los Angeles is that is much closer to Mexico. Should anyone come to cause us trouble, we can flee past the border. I won't say we'd be untouchable in Mexico but it's far easier to avoid patent claims when those patents are not applicable in the country.
We'll be moving to an area called Hollywood. It seems to be where a lot of independent filmmakers are flocking. That will mean competition but anything is better than Edison. I'm quite looking forward to arriving in a new place. That said, I am aware we will be living much farther from Saint John than before. Visiting all of you in Canada will prove trickier.
The offer is there, Pearl. You can move to California with us or stay in Saint John with the rest of our family. Personally, I would love to embark on this new chapter of our lives with you near. I always feel a little lonelier whenever I have to return to New York after seeing you. Don't tell Cliff that, of course. He is good company but it was always the three of us. Our endeavours are unlikely to realise their true potential if you are not involved.
I hope to hear back from you soon, Jameson
May 23, 1911 Dear Jem,
Do you even have to ask me? If Los Angeles is as appealing as you said, I am enthusiastic about living there too. California has a coast, doesn't it? Is Los Angeles anywhere near the water? I am so used to the Bay of Fundy that I struggle to imagine myself living somewhere landlocked.
Nevertheless, tell me when exactly you plan to leave. I will do my best to get all my documents ready before then or shortly after. What role exactly do you plan for me to fill? You write the scripts and Cliff directs but I don't see any specific position available for me. Should I just be an actress? I will leave the financial aspects of the business to you. You were always the best at mathematics compared to the rest of us.
Excited to join you soon, Pearl
June 7, 1911 Dear Pearl,
Although I was completely expecting you to accept, it is nevertheless wonderful to have you confirm it. As for your role, actress is the default position available. You could also be responsible for anything costume related. I know you are good with a needle and neither myself nor Clifford are experts in fashion. I understand it is a little cliché to expect a woman to assume the role of fashion advisor. However, those are your areas of personal expertise and I don't believe you should ignore what you are good at. In time, you might become confident enough to take more advanced roles. Who knows, perhaps you will direct a feature film or two in the future. You do enjoy making your presence known.
Elizabeth is not going to come with us. Understandably, she is unwilling to move to the other side of the country when she has friends and a life in New York. She is likely to keep the children in Manhattan with her. It is a shame. I was thoroughly enjoying being an uncle to Clara. Their second child is less than a month away from being born so I won't get to know them either. Please don't tell Mother. You know how she feels about their union. I suspect she will become unbearable if she were to find out.
We are planning to begin our train journey across the country on July 12th. I don't know if that will give you enough time to be able to travel to California by then or not. Come whenever you can.
Give the others our love for us, Jameson
September 8, 1911 Dear Jameson,
I can't believe Cliff is distancing himself from the Church. Your father and I raised you all to be devout Catholics. I am almost insulted he has abandoned everything he was brought up to believe. Could you not have dissuaded him?
He turns his back on God, leaves his wife to raise their children alone and never gives a thought as to how that makes us look. People will begin talking. They will look towards me and say I did not perform my duty as a mother properly. I am not proud to say I knew his split was coming.
I hope you and Siobhan are doing well, Your mother
September 20, 1911 Dear Mother,
I have told you time and time again, I am not responsible for Clifford's actions. If he renounces his Christianity, there is not much I can do. Elizabeth understandably refused to leave her life in New York at short notice. He would have been indifferent about his children being bastards if he did not know you would personally deliver damnation to him. This has been coming for years.
Was it mostly lust? Possibly. Was his heart fully dedicated to being a husband? Doubtfully. Are both of us upset that we may never see Clara and Daniel again? Of course.
This is not my issue. I am tired of acting as an informant for you on matters concerning Cliff. I am surprised you aren't interested in making me spy on Pearl as well. Please, for the sake of my sanity, discuss all this with your son. He is unlikely to listen but at least I can remain uninvolved.
If you are at all interested in how I am doing, I am enjoying the novelty of a new city. I am motivated to begin work and find success with the rest of the independent filmmakers. Siobhan and I are doing fine.
Yours, Jameson
December 12, 1911 Dear all,
The Jolly Gentleman has been born. It's taken me a while to gain the courage to introduce him to the world. The hat was a birthday present from Siobhan a few years ago. His 'theme song', if you will, was composed by Siobhan herself. If he is what I am remembered for after death, I will not mind. We are a family company and my creation has been further moulded by family. Pearl suggested a blue waistcoat as opposed to the black one I owned. I suppose blue does suit me better. Pearl claims it is because of my eyes. I will have to trust her.
We are yet to see how the short does financially. I am hoping for a decent profit but that is out of my hands now. Above all, I want the public to enjoy the character so I may use him again. He is a fun man to bring to life.
Yours, Jameson
February 13, 1912 Dear all,
Siobhan and I are delighted to announce we are expecting our first child. They should arrive at the beginning of August. Needless to say, we are excited by the news ourselves.
We have equally been apprehensive about bringing children into the world. There is a chance they may inherit the condition that runs in Siobhan's family. It's called Huntington's Chorea. You might have heard of it. Siobhan's mother died of complications connected to the disease when she was 12. There is a possibility that Siobhan will develop symptoms in 10-20 years. The same goes for her brother.
The two of us were worried our children would have a similar upbringing to Siobhan's and be forced to watch her health decline drastically over many years. Not only that, they would live with the chance of suffering the same fate in adulthood. Becoming parents is laden with risks and arguably selfish. I have chosen to subject myself to the reality of her potential illness. This child will not have that choice.
Of course, this could all be pessimistic speculation. There is still the possibility that neither Siobhan nor her brother have inherited the disease. Therefore, any children we have will be spared.
We are planning to approach this with cautious optimism. After all, this is our first child. Despite everything to be anxious about, I am overjoyed.
Yours, Jameson
February 16, 1912 Dear Harvey,
I suspect this letter will arrive the same time as the one I sent to Mother. If it doesn't, I am happy to announce Siobhan is three months pregnant.
I was hoping you had some wisdom to impart. I know I could ask Cliff in person but, it is best not to. Besides, your third is due in the coming weeks. You are more knowledgeable on the subject than him anyway. If you wish to leave me to figure it out, I understand. You had no prior help so it is only fair I do not either.
Any advice you are willing to give will still be appreciated.
Yours, Jameson
March 4, 1912 Dear Jameson,
Make sure your child doesn't die, that is generally the rule of parenthood. I don't have any particular advice for you. It will come to you in time. Simply do your best. That is what everyone else does.
You'll be a good father, Jameson. There is nothing for you to worry about. Only bring him or her to Saint John once they are born.
Congratulations, Harvey.
April 24, 1912 Dear Mother,
How damaging is a mother's stress on her unborn child? A friend of Siobhan's has been missing for the past two weeks. She is fearing the worst in regards to her friend's safety. I feel being such a constant state of dread is unhealthy, especially in her condition.
This is because that ship sank. Her friend married some nouveau riche entrepreneur and suddenly they're buying first class tickets for an ocean liner. I'd blame the British for incompetency but unfortunately, I hear it was built in Belfast. Essentially, RMS Titanic sunk over a week ago and RMS Carpathia delivered the survivors to New York 6 days ago. We haven't heard of news concerning her friend yet. At the time of writing, she, her husband and children are presumed dead. The water was cold and no human can survive in the ocean for this long without a boat or food.
Siobhan is in denial and insists her friend is out there or that the news she is fine simply hasn't reached us yet. The emotional strain must be affecting the baby negatively. I am unsure how to proceed, other than attempt to prove her I am supportive.
Yours, Jameson
Anthony Isaac Jackson Male August 7, 1912 Los Angeles Siobhan O'Hara Jameson Jackson
August 9, 1912 Dear Mother,
Anthony was born on Wednesday. I was out filming when Pearl began dragging me away. Regrettably, we arrived too late. By the time we reached the house, Siobhan was already holding him. I've been apologizing profusely after unintentionally breaking my promise to her. She won't have it.
On a more positive note, Anthony is healthy and Siobhan is recovering well too. As I'm writing, he is sleeping on the other side of the room. I can't help but wonder what life he will have. If I do succeed in my career, he is likely to grow up in comfort. He won't be like me, believing he is destined for the dockyard or a factory. He won't have to live in a cramped house, go hungry or worry about when the next illness is coming. He can have a better childhood than I did.
This is nothing against you, please don't think that. I had a happy upbringing. You gave me all you could and it was more than enough for me. I am simply saying I can give him more. We'll be able to afford medical bills without stressing about debt. I always did feel guilty for getting sick so often. I don't want Anthony to desperately rely on education to raise his position.
All that is to come in the future. So long as he is happy, I will be too.
Yours, Jameson
March 19, 1913 Dear all,
Greetings from Ireland! I have finally set foot in the ancestral homeland. We are staying with Siobhan's father while in Limerick. I don't think I've met Michael before as he was unable to attend our wedding. They both seem like good men, even if they are partial to a smoke. Michael is the opposite to us. He refuses to marry or become a father. I don't blame him for choosing to live cautiously. I do find it a shame he needs to subject himself to loneliness. Both him and his father were ecstatic to meet Anthony. You will too one day, whenever we can arrange a trip.
We celebrated St Patrick's Day quite enthusiastically. I spent the entirety of yesterday recovering. They all outdrank me. Your Canadian blood has spoiled me. Perhaps, once he is older, Anthony's Irish heritage will restore an iron liver to the Jackson line.
I hope to travel north to County Offaly while we are still here. The farm is probably owned by another family by now. I still would like to see for myself where we came from. Anthony is too young to understand me but I will tell him stories passed down from his great-grandmother. I'll omit some of the more inappropriate ones, don't worry.
Wishing Father could have seen this, Jameson
March 23, 1913 Dear all,
We've visited the farm. I was right, it is privately owned by another family. They may be distant cousins who inherited it. I didn't come close enough to the place to even see the inhabitants or ask. Even so, it wasn't quite how I imagined it would look. Over 60 years has certainly passed since the starvation. The fields don't show any obvious traces of yielding nothing edible the last time Granny was here.
It was late afternoon when we were there. We are staying for the night in a geometrically challenged village. They have a circle in the road, a roundabout as the Europeans call it. However, these villagers refer to their roundabout as The Square. I am almost inspired to include this in a script.
We will be returning to Limerick and thereafter Los Angeles tomorrow. It has been good to be in Ireland, not only to let Siobhan spend time with her family, but to explore my roots. Anthony should visit at least once after he reaches adulthood.
Goodbye for now, Jameson
August 17, 1913 Dear Mother,
Anthony is picking up ASL fairly quickly now. It fascinates me quickly a child learns the things we take for granted. He is standing on his feet and able to tell us about his basic needs. I've heard the signing may slow down when he begins speaking. I don't mind that. After all, he will be a bilingual child. I feel it is more important he is able to communicate with both of us in the long term than when exactly he is able.
I've included a photograph I took of Anthony to celebrate his birthday. I know how disappointed you were when I said we couldn't come for Christmas last year. However, the five of us plan to be there in October for Thanksgiving.
Yours, Jameson
September 19, 1913 Dear boys and Pearl,
The Imperial Theatre is opening today. We will finally be able to watch your creations. I am looking forward to seeing moving pictures in general. The three of you should release something soon so I can see my children be credited.
Jameson, Anthony looks very sweet in that photograph you sent. I'm glad he is doing well. I would be delighted to have all of you there for Thanksgiving. You don't know how excited I am to finally meet your son.
Wishing you well, Your mother
November 29, 1913 Dear Mother,
With Clifford at Keystone to help our prospects, Pearl and I are missing his help. We won't betray Sennett's trust. I don't think he included a clause into the contract to prevent Cliff from working for Jackson Trinity. It is still better not to risk him being called a double agent or the like.
This does, however, mean I need a new director. The men do not take myself or Pearl as seriously as they did Cliff. He hardly ruled with an iron fist yet he was far more of an authority here than us. I am easy to ignore and Pearl is a member of the fairer sex. It is incredibly aggravating to maintain order. The contract is for two years so we must survive until then.
We are determined to make this work.
Yours, Jameson
February 14, 1914 Dear Mother,
I know you have been annoyed by Cliff's romances (and their failings). You always seem to treat me as some informant. This time I will update you on his love life willingly. All I ask is that you don't let on that I have told you when he tells you about Loretta himself.
The two of them met on set. Hers was a minor character who never interacts with Cliff's. However, when the cameras were not on them, they talked at length. He is truly happy in her company. The age difference is morally grey. At 19, she is 9 years his junior. It is not illegal by any means but there are those who may be uncomfortable with it.
Unlike with Elizabeth, he doesn't seem to be speeding through milestones with Loretta. I think he understands love takes time and effort. If he were to marry her, it is years away. He should enjoy the present.
Yours, Jameson
March 1, 1914 Dear Jameson,
This is all very nice news but you know full well he cannot marry her. In terms of the law, yes they are not married. In the eyes of God, they are still united until death. It is mentioned in the ceremony as a reminded of how serious of a commitment marriage is. What do suggest he do, kill Elizabeth? Then what of their children? They need a mother.
Yours, Your mother
March 18, 1914 Dear Mother,
I feel you are jumping to conclusions. The whole reason he distanced himself from the Church was to improve his chances of being granted a second marriage. Even so, I never said he was planning to marry her. They have known each other for less than a year. They are progressing the relationship slowly.
Although, I may steal your idea for a feature. I'm not too well versed on murder mysteries but I could always give it a shot. I don't how I could credit you. I can hardly include "Idea inspired by Florence Jackson's motherly rants" in the credits.
Yours, Jameson
June 30, 1914 Dear Jameson,
Did you hear about the assassination? I'm not very knowledgeable on European affairs but I can tell this might become a political disaster. Austria-Hungary must have allies. I can't recall who is allied with the Austro-Hungarian Empire but I'm sure Germany is one of them.
I don't think this assassination will end typically. Normally, the public figure will get mourned en masse and would be replaced with the next leader. This is different. There has been plenty of tension in that area of the world, hasn't there? After all, that is why the archduke got shot in the first place. Those Serbians hate the Austro-Hungarians so furiously, they are prepared to stain their hands with blood. Who knows what the assassins were trying to achieve. Probably a little more than a message to those in power.
I feel there is going to be a war in Europe. Serbia will fight Austro-Hungary and Germany will find themselves caught up in the mess. You'll be hearing about it by the end of this year.
Yours, Harvey
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kabirnarayan · 4 years
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Before sharing this incident, here’s a disclaimer - I love my Mother, Maybe the most.
I was an introvert child. Going to parties, Familly gathering, outings etc. wasn’t my thing. I was able to avoid most of them, except some very important events like Holi or When there’s No one in the home to cook. Zomato wasn’t invented in 1999. Playing cricket with my elder brother was the only thing I used to do when I wasn’t watching TV or studying, As I had no Friends.
So this Wedding Invitation card arrived before a month or two and It was pre-decided that visting is a non-negotiable act by each and every member of the family. My Father was the firstone to back out as it was an overnight stay and He couldn’t sleep somewhere else except his own personal bed. He had his issues, he still has,I admit. In addition, None of his favourite relatives were visiting. I didn’t want to go too so I protested. Apart from obvious reasons, It was mid summer and the wedding was taking place in a No-electricity village. Only disadvantage I could see was that there will be no dinner. As I thought my weak protest would go in vain, out of the blue my father said - “Rehne do naa, garmi h, tabiyat kharab ho jayegi iski” _ Let him be, he might get sick in this cruel heat_ My mother reverted - “Khayega kya, Khichdi?” What will he eat, Khichdi? I jumped as I saw an open window od opportunity and said, “Ha kha lenge. Dopahar ka subah bna dena. Raat ko khichdi. Kal bread le aaunga chai k saath” Yes. Why Not. You could cook lunch and dad Dinner. Breakfast is manageable. I could see the anger, frustration and that feeling when someone defy your authority in my mother’s eye. But It didn’t bother me. I DON’T LIKE TO VISIT WEDDINGS - how hard is this for an adult to understand. I don’t like crowds. It suffocates me. I was a skinny blackish boy. Relatives used to make fun of me all the time. This didn’t happen to my brother or sister. They were adorable . And whenever I complained to my mother, by consoling, she used to say, they don’t mean it. They love you that’s why they are having fun with you. Liitle did her words consoled. I visited wedding before that but none of them even had a happy part. Eventually, I end up crying in a corner waiting for my tears to go dry. This particular time, I chose MY happiness.
Nevertheless my mother did not lose hope. She lure me with delicious food. But I chose solitude over food in an age of 8. A Night before leaving, she told that I am going whether I like it or not. She cannot leave me behind. What if something happened to me. Father wasn’t nearby to support. I resisted but caved. Just hours before leaving My Father woke up and seeing me dreesed, questioned - “Ye to ni jaa rha tha, To q taiyaar khada h” He wasn’t going. No? Then Why is he all dressed up. I answered- “Mummy ne daanta” She Scolded. And tears were formed were in my eyes. My Father seemed a bit angry. I was ready for being slapped from either of the party. Either for Ratting out or for Crying in the morning. “Agar ye nahi jaana chahta to ni jayega. Un dono ko le jao bas”- He declared. If he doesn’t want to go, then he shouldn’t. Take those two. I was scared at this moment. My happiness could go rot in the hell Now was the time to establish authority. I went to my room and waited for anything to happen. To my surprise, it was awfully quiet. After two hour, As my mother was leaving she told me that she had cooked the lunch. Eat on time. I nodded in silence. After that my father had to leave for work, then I would be home by myself. Just before leaving he said that we’ll play cricket in the evening. Don’t know why but I was filled with excitement at that very moment. It was all going so smooth. TV and TV till my father came back from the office. He brought Sugarcane Juice. We played cricket. Around 6:30 my mother called to know how it was going. Dad answered. After some time later the bell rang again. I answered. It was virendra chacha. Around 8:00 cooking started. He cooked the only thing he could. The Khichdi which was Least of my worries. As the cooker whistled he came out of his bed room all dressed up. I was confused. He served khichdi for one and told that he has to go to Virendra Chacha’s and will be back by 11. So I sat in the TV room, alone watching KBC and contemplating life. I felt abandoned. As I told myself that It must have been very important otherwise there’s no reason to leave me alone. As I reassured myself another baseless thought floated through my mind that they will make fun of me after hearing this. As I chose to be with him and He left me alone. I could not do anything about sadness but that unsaid insult of staying at the wrong end could be taken care of. Next afternoon they arrived. And my sister started to tease me that she had chowmin and Gulab Jamun and Aaloo Tikki and halwa etc etc. Now was my turn. It was nothing. Yesterday Dad brought Chola-Samosa and aaloo-Tikki and Batashe and Pepsi. I ate so much that I could eat khichdi. Dad had to eat all. As My sister’s smile was vanishing I realised that my master plan was about to succeed, My mother came to her rescue and said - “Tum Paresaan mat ho, ye Jhooth bol rha h. Ye Muh Aur Masur ki daal. Ho hi nahi sakta” Don’t Worry. He’s Bluffing. He’s not that important. Impossible. She called my Bluff. This lie wasn’t documented for her. I was shocked, My vocabulary had zero words then. I never saw that punch coming. I wasn’t prepared for that kind of roast. I fooled myself for the sake of happiness and sanity but one proverb destroyed it all. I accepted my defeat and went back to my room. As I sat on my bed, My tiny brain calculated, 5+5+5+5. How can I not be of worth 20 Rs, When I have 20 Rs. More importantly her proverb had a word- Face. My weakest link, My Achilles heel, at that time. I couldn’t face the fact the my own mother thinks that I’m ugly. That day was the worst day of my childhood.
Being Introverted is tough task to be. Specially when you’re a kid. Not being able to communicate is a luxury that comes with restrictive environment. And Things are often difficult when there is language barrier. One don’t know how to explain and others can’t understand eyes. Speaking from experience, it takes a lot of work to boost up confidence, if no one believes in you, including your so called, loving ones. And I am not taking out on parents either. My mother had 3 kids when she was barely 23. It was a necessity if I must say. Because later they might not be able to. And it’s an unwritten rule that the age difference between sibling should not be more 3 or 4. So the logic narrows it down to this - Have as many kids as you want as early as possible. They have to deal with such logics. It’s even tougher.
I shared this incident because these kinds of incident took a toll on me. My childhood is a book of stupid short sad stories like this. I had no one to share until I started writing. Childhood is a stage of life where even a little unnoticed wound can leave a big black scar right across the face. These little wounds shapes our mind in the most untwisted way possible. These wounds cannot be completely avoided but at least healed as soon as possible.
In about 8 months, I’ll be 30. And marriage and Children scares the hell out of me. Just because of incidents like this.
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