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[flokidokie]

Celebrations!

The Gancanagh has 999 hits on Ao3, that is the most a story of mine has been read so far and I'm very proud of it. If we reach 1000 hits I'm gonna open a bottle of beer :D

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 15

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Carson reconsiders his principles.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Chapter 15 - A lovers embrace

When Carson entered Lord Aidens room half an hour later after he had ordered the servants to remember their duties, he had expected to have to remind Thomas as well, as he often seemed to forgot his duties lately. The sight he was presented with however, made him stop in his tracks.

Thomas Barrow lay in the young lords bed, seemingly fast asleep. Lord Aiden lay next to him, having moved as close as it was humanly possible into his embrace. His face was buried into Thomas' chest, his hands grabbing the fabric of his shirt, as if he wanted to stop him from leaving.

Only a month ago he would have fired the butler on the spot for this breach of taboo. At Downton servants had been fired for lesser offences and Thomas' had been living on very thin ice, but the longer Carson watched the scene before him, the more he realised that maybe the would was changing, no matter what he had to say about it.

Maybe Mrs. Hughes had been right and Charles Carson had become soft. He would lie if he denied that after all this time Thomas had become something similar to a son to him. A snarky bastard, that was, who made him livid with his attitude more often than not, but wasn't this how it was supposed to be? Weren't children supposed to keep their parents on their toes with the chaos they caused? Wasn't it the same for Lord Grantham and his children?

And what a chaos they had caused. Lady Mary had almost lost face because of a scandal regarding the visit and death of a Turkish diplomat. Lady Sybil had been running off with his lordships chauffeur, who also was Irish, catholic and a socialist. Lady Edith hadn't caused a proper scandal yet, but she was owner of a popular magazine, while being unmarried in her thirties, and would drive cars once in a while. All that was behaviour unsuited for a woman only ten years ago.

And hadn't Downton Abbey seen its fair share of changes that seemed impossible for the butler? Despite his love for the traditional, Carson had accepted electricity in the Abbey, he had learned to use the telephone and he even survived all the new appliances Mrs. Hughes had brought into the kitchen. Little by little, the world he knew had changed and the Abbey had changed with it.

Sighing Carson left the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't understand the feelings Thomas was feeling, he never did, but the look in his eyes when he looked at Aiden was the same he saw in other men regarding their wifes. Carson didn't understand Aidens displeasure of having been born a woman, never did that either, but the joy in his face when he was called and treated as a man could not be unnatural or foul. Both men had been so incredibly brave with the way they stood up against a world that wanted them dead, braver than Carson had ever been. Maybe it was time to change that.

On his way to back downstairs he passed one of the great clocks of the house. There were three hours left until he would call for dinner and therefore three more hours to think of an way to excuse Thomas from serving this evening. He had a feeling that none of the higher-ups would mind his absence much, knowing that he would be where he was needed the most.

xxx

Thomas Barrow woke up with a shock. The sun was up again, where it had been setting by the time he had entered the bed he now found himself in. A quick look to the clock told him it was past breakfast. Only a few minutes had become ten hours.

The man could feel Aiden stirring next to him, still laying as close to him as possible, wiggling his nose in his sleep. Carefully he tried to untangle the young lord from him, climbing silently out of the bed, but Aiden whined as soon as he lost contact. Thomas put a soothing kiss on top of his head.

„... don't go...“, Aiden murmured, eyes still closes but partly awake, when Thomas' hand caressed his cheek.

„I can't.“, Thomas replied quietly. „I need to go downstairs. They are surely waiting for me already.“

Aiden made a pouting face, still not opening his eyes, but wrapping the blanket tighter around him.

„Scones...“, he mumbled, making Thomas laugh.

„I'll let Mrs. Patmore know you want some, love.“, the underbutler said with a fond smile, putting one last kiss on his hair. „Now rest.“

Aiden hummed in agreement, probably halfway back into the land of dreams. Thomas tore his gaze away from his sleeping from, preparing himself with what awaited him in the servants lounge. This was not like his nightly visits from months and months ago, where he could sneak out early in the morning, before even Carson would wake up, and no one would be none the wiser about his nightly activities. It was in the middle of the day, everyone would be awake by now, servants and higher-ups alike. At least one of them had to see him walking this walk of shame.

With shaking hands he opened the door and stepped out. The hallway was empty, the Crawleys had to be somewhere around the study at this time of day, if they were at home in the first place. His first choice of escape route would have been hidden stair case that directly connected to the mens quarters, but the door used to be locked and he didn't have his key on him. So the central stairs had to do.

His steps seemed unnaturally loud in his ears, walking alone through the west wing, wearing something different than his usual work attire. He felt bare somehow..

He had almost reached the stairs, when he heard someone approaching. Thomas was frozen where he stood, eyes wide with panic, as he saw Edith walking up the stairs. She stopped for a second, when she spotted him, her surprised look soon changing into a polite smile.

„Good morning, Mr. Barrow.“, she greeted him as she passed him, turning into the corridor to his left.

„Good morning, Lady Edith...“, he muttered, not sure if she had heard him and even more surprised that she didn't say anything else. With a shaky exhale he rolled his shoulders and continued to walk.

He didn't run into anyone else on his way, which brought him to a whole different problem, because that meant, that everybody would be gathered in the servants lounge. No way he would be able to sneak past that.

With as much dignity he could muster up, having slept in a lords bed and wearing last nights clothes, he strut past the half open wall, and he had almost made it, when he heard Carson speak.

„Good morning, Mr. Barrow.“, he said, not looking up from his newspaper, and Thomas walked a few steps back, turning around to him, internally cussing.

„Good morning, Mr. Carson.“, he said politely, hiding his hands behind his back. This had to be the most embarrassing moment of his life. He caught Jimmy looking at him, grinning into his cup of coffee.

„I assume Lord Aiden is well?“, the butler asked and Thomas heard some maids trying to hide a snicker behind their hands. Great, he thought, everybody knew.

„According to his circumstances.“, Thomas replied. „He rests now.“

„And you? Are you well, Mr. Barrow?“, Carson added when Thomas had turned to leave, still not looking up. Thomas was glad he didn't, because he knew exactly what he was pointing at. He wanted to know if they had talked about their issues, without straight up asking about it. And the way his colleagues pricked up their ears, they wanted to know as well. It must have been difficult to not notice what he and Aiden had going on between each other.

„I am better...“, the underbutler sighed. „Everything is going to be okay. We are going to be okay.“

Carson shot him a brief look, before he flipped through the newspaper, seemingly uninterested.

„That's good to hear.“, he said, clearing his throat. „It was about time.“

The butler put down the newspaper and turned to the man who still stood sheepishly in the middle of the room.

„Now that this is taken care of.“, he said, now with a stricter voice. „I excused you for last nights dinner and todays breakfast, but you're expected to be ready to serve by lunch.“

Just now he seemed to notice the underbutler appearance, which was without a doubt stuff from Carsons personal nightmares.

„And now get yourself ready.“, he waved the man away. „Lord Aiden may not mind seeing you like this, but I'm sure Lord Grantham begs to differ.“

Thomas didn't understand what just had happened, but he dared not to question it. With an honest smile he nodded, turning to leave, when he remembered the young lords request. He took a step back, still smiling and looked at the cook, who was tending a broth.

„Mrs. Patmore?“, he asked, causing her to look up. „Lord Aiden requested scones. He was half asleep when he did and has probably forgotten already, but he will be pleasantly surprised if he finds them, when he eventually wakes.“

Mrs. Patmore positively lit up at his words.

„Would you look at that...“; she said laughing. „One night away from almost dying and his heart is still full of you and scones.“

„I'm afraid the scones come first...“, Thomas joked, never having thought he would talk this freely about things like that. There must have been residue adrenaline in his veins, that made him so careless, beside the fact that he hadn't been scolded yet.

He made his way to his room, making himself presentable and mentally preparing himself for the one person whose judgement was even more important and scary than Carsons. He would still have to face Lord Grantham himself.

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Epilogue

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: A letter from Australia

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Epilogue - What makes a lord

Dear brother,

Mama has returned home safely, though I fear the events of your dinner may have done more harm than good. Lord Henry has acquainted me in your tale about a dead twin sister. I understand that this is probably the only way to resolve this chaos and though it pains me to see her broken like this, I am glad that you are finally free of her influence. She is at the doctors care for now, maybe one day she will understand.

The reason I'm writing to you, brother dear, is the consequences of your existence as Lord Aiden McTavish. Uncle Neill has learned of your existence and of the fact that, as our fathers son, all his titles fall to you.

To prevent unwanted troubles in the future I made sure you are officially recognized as the man you are. You may have noticed the documents I send with this letter. It's your birth certificate, one with your proper name, and all the documents you may need to identify yourself with in the future.

Documents like this are not easy to acquire, so I hope you have the chance to thank the lady who made it possible yourself one day. She's a private detective and an adventuress, you will like her, I'm sure.

Lord Henry also told me about the home you found at Downton Abbey. I'm happy to hear that you are well and surrounded by people who love you. I only ask you not to forget us down here and to visit us from time to time. Please bring your Mr. Barrow with you, I'm thrilled to meet my brother-in-law.

With a hug and a kiss, your dear sister,

Ciara McTavish

- A letter from Lady Ciara McTavish to her brother, The Most Honourable Lord Aiden McTavish, Marchess of Donegal, Earl of Belfast and Baron of Templemore

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 17

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: The residents of Downton Abbey want to prevent the wedding. They don't coordinate their plans. Chaos ensues.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: This is it. This is the last chapter, but fear not, there will be a short epilogue also coming today. Thanks to all of you for sticking around until the end. I hope you enjoyed this story and maybe we'll meet again at another one. You were a great audience and it was a pleasure to write for you :)

Chapter 17 - Engagement Dinners and Dead Twin Sisters

“Give me one reason, why I shouldn't drench your mother in gravy.“, Thomas said, tilting his head to the side. After all this time he finally managed to become Aidens valet and though the job was usually done by footmen, the underbutler welcomed the alone time with his lover.

„I'll give you two.“, Aiden replied. „Firstly, you are a really good butler and secondly, that would be a waste of perfectly good sauce.“

Thomas hummed in agreement, it would be a waste indeed. Besides, he had the feeling Carson would have a heart attack if he did something like that. Still, the thought of having to play servant to a woman like her irritated him to no end.

Lady Moira McTavish had yet again announced her visit at Downton Abbey and this time, she wouldn't come alone. Still believing that Aiden would run around all ladylike in dresses and skirts, she decided to move forward her plans and called for an engagement party. More announcing herself than asking for approval, she invited herself, the mysterious fiance and a handful guests over into the Abbey. Thomas was livid.

Aiden seemed to notice his displeasure and how could he not. Thomas had been moping all day since they had learned who was coming over. He wouldn't say he was jealous, but he did feel a bit possessive, he had to admit that. He, Thomas Barrow, once a simple footman and now an underbutler, had done the impossible: he, a gay man, had wooed a lord and had even permission to do so. He was allowed, even wanted in his room and in his bed, at any time of day and he could just kiss him whenever and wherever he wanted. It was only natural to not be thrilled to meet and serve his mans fiance.

„You know, the be discreet rule is suspended for today.“, Aiden said softly, brushing his thumb over Thomas' cheek. „So I intend to tail you the whole evening.“

It had been Lady Roses idea to host a dinner party, where the guests were allowed to walk around however they pleased. They would have a buffet and servants with trays in every room, following them. A good opportunity to have a private conversation. Or to avoid them.

„You just want to admire my backside, don't you?“, Thomas smirked, making Aiden shrug.

„Probably the only good thing I'll get out of this evening.“, he said, reaching up to give the underbutler a kiss. „Now let's do this.“

Someone, somewhere had told Lady Moira that minor delays were fashionable, and to this day she lived by that. While Aidens mother hadn't arrived yet, there were already some guests present. Lady Cora did her best to entertain them, apologizing profusely that there was no sight of neither the brides mother nor the bride.

„Aiden!“, she greeted him, when he entered the salon, waving him over to her and a woman, Aiden remembered as the Countess of Euston. „It's good to see you are here. You mother is running late.“

„I didn't know Lady Moira had a son?“, the countess said, when he greeted him. The young lord blinked at her for a second, before he answered.

„Well... I was a sickly child.“, he replied slowly. „I didn't get out much.“

Lady Cora nodded in support, locking arms with her nephew.

„It was the same with Edith back then.“, she said, squeezing his hand. „Fortunately both are fine now.“

„That is truly a blessing.“, the countess replied. „But say, I heard the title of the Marquess of Donegal went to your uncle. Shouldn't it be yours?“

„Yeah, about that...“, Aiden began, trying to find a logical answer for her, when Carson announced the arrival of his mother.

„Lady Moira McTavish, the Marchioness of Donegal.“, the butler announced loudly. „Accompanied by Lord Henry Davis, Earl of Warwick.“

Perfect timing, Aiden thought to himself. He did not intend to out himself in front of so many people, but he didn't know what else to tell them either. Now he just had to claim that he was the long lost brother of the McTavish Sisters.

When Lady Moira entered the room, Aiden noticed Thomas walking up next to him. He was holding a tray of champagne flutes, looking over the young mans shoulder, equally interested in seeing the man they were going to meet now.

Lady Moira walked in, wearing her long lost title like a crown, until she saw Aiden. She started a tirade not unlike the last time she visited, but Aiden didn't hear her. He was focused on the man that had followed her inside.

With only one look he could tell Lord Henry was from Australia. His skin was tanned, his brown hair fell in waves around his shoulders and the clothes he wore, though fitting the dress code, had an aura of adventure. Lord Henry was tall and muscular, probably a rugby player and if he had asked Aiden to marry him some years before, he would have gladly accept. If he could accept that his bride was a groom, that was.

„I did not pay thousands of dollars for your treatment, for you to run around in these clothes again!“, the voice of his mother found its way to his ears. „Aine, are you listening?“

Aiden tore his eyes away from the man she called his fiance, looking at her tiredly.

„Mama, that is not my name and you know it.“, he replied, smiling apologetically at the Countess of Euston, as his uncle successfully distracted Lady Moira from further shouting at his nephew. Rose explained the concept of their dinner one last time before everyone went their ways, leaving the young lord and his butler behind.

„Honestly love, what is it with the water in Down Under?“, Thomas asked him flabbergasted, after everyone left. Aiden snorted.

„Don't ask me, this is ridiculous.“, he replied, turning around. „This man is a giant. Even Alfred would look tiny next to him.“

Thomas grimaced. When Aiden had told him, his mother had found a poor man, who was willing to overlook his „condition“, he had expected a pathetic little man with no other choice than to marry into a scandal. This however was a man, who could easily have any woman he liked, or any man, with the way Aiden had looked at him.

„You're not going to change your mind, are you?“, the underbutler asked carefully, alarming the young lord, who quickly cupped his face.

„No, of course not.“, he denied with emphasis. „You are stuck with me, as long as you'll have me.“

And Thomas would have him for eternity and whatever came after that, but still, this was Aidens engagement party, and the second part of the happy couple was not him.

The underbutler watched Aiden leave him with a sad smile, as Lady Mary called him over. He sighed with dissatisfaction and went downstairs to get rid of the empty glasses he had been carrying.

xxx

Daisy had not yet seen the mysterious man Lord Aiden was supposed to marry. She was as curious as anyone else, but the fate of a cook was to stay in the kitchen, so she had to rely on the gossip the maids and the footmen would bring to her. If only they would tell her something, all of them were awfully quiet, making her worry. The way Thomas looked, when he came down the stairs, told her there was a reason to.

Thomas made a face as if he had bitten into an apple, only to realize it was made out of wax. He almost slammed down the tray he was holding, leaning his weight on both of his arms and signed.

„That bad?“, Daisy asked carefully, watching him lifting his eyes at her. Thomas opened his mouth, but the voice that rang through the kitchen next was not his.

„What it the ever loving fuck is this kind of beef cake?“, Jimmy exclaimed as he stepped inside the kitchen. Thomas shut his mouth again, looking at the boy who wore almost the same riddled expression as him. „That's not a man, it's a beast!“

Thomas had to agree, Lord Henry Davis had no business being tall like that, with his perfect hair and his perfect teeth and good gracious, what in gods name did Aiden see in him, when there were men like that running around in Australia?

„And I still don't get it.“, Jimmy added, leaning with one hand against the table. „Lord Aiden is a man and this bloke is too. Why is Lady Moira so adamant about getting them married?“

Thomas and Daisy shared a look as it hit them. Jimmy hadn't been at Downton, when Aiden had spilled his secret to the servants and didn't know the complexity of the problem with his mother.

„Is this legal in Australia all of a sudden?“, Jimmy continued, gesturing wildly with his free hand. „What is her problem with you then? Is it because you are no fancy lord? And who is Aine?“

„You know, Jimmy...“, Thomas interrupted him quickly, before anyone else started to wonder about the same things. „This is a very complicated affair. Let's just say that Lady Moira thinks of her son as something he isn't and won't accept she is wrong.“

Jimmy grimaced in disbelieve.

„Don't tell me she thinks he's a girl...“, he snorted. „I mean, he is pretty and all, but she's his mother, wouldn't she know?“

Thomas tried to make a face, that didn't tell Jimmy that he had hit the mark exactly, not wanting to be the one telling him something so personal. But fate was on his side, sending Carson into the kitchen.

„What are you standing around like that?“, he barked, visibly stressed. „The trays won't carry themselves upstairs!“

With that words he shooed the footman out of the kitchen, following soon after. Thomas took one last breath, before straightening himself.

„You know what, Mr. Barrow?“, Daisy said, smiling at him mischiefly. „I'm going to mess with the canapés and you make sure this fancy lord eats them.“

Thomas remembered the last time the girl had messed with the food in fear Carson would choose to replace Mrs. Patmore after her surgery. Fortunately only the servants had suffered the soapy taste of their meal, unthinkable what would have happened if they had served the soup to the higher-ups.

„As a superior I have to tell you, that we do not poison our dinner guests under any circumstances.“, he said to her with a strict voice. What kind of house would serve such disgusting food to a guest, however unwanted? What would people say with a lord complaining about the service at Downton Abbey, after he came all the way from Australia to steal away their most beloved resident? Maybe he would even have to excuse himself to the bathroom, having to stay away from said resident.

„But?“, Daisy asked, having noticed him thinking thoroughly. Thomas pursed his lips looking at her.

„Let's do it.“, he said eventually, making her laugh with glee. This fancy Earl of Warwick wouldn't even know what hit him.

xxx

Lord Henry was indeed husband material, Edith had to admit. The man was good looking and charming and not at all what she had expected. She still didn't want to marry her cousin and like any other member of her family, she was determined to not let it happen.

„Are you married, Lady Edith?“, he asked her next to the liquor cabinet and Edith had an idea.

„Me? No, I'm not married.“, she said with a sad smile. „Not for lack of trying though.“

Lord Henrys eyes widened in surprise. Edith looked at him through her eyelashes, a shy look she had copied from her sister. It seemed to work for her, so no harm in trying all the dirty tricks.

„I can't believe that.“, the lord said in a friendly tone. „Who wouldn't want to marry such an attractive young lady as you are?“

He shot her smile full of pearly white teeth before moving his glass to his mouth. If only they had met under different circumstances.

„Oh, you flatter me.“, she said with a giggle, that sounded fake even in her own ears. „But I'm afraid a lot men won't. My first fiance left me at the altar and the second went to the continent and never came back.“

Michael Gregson hadn't been her fiance per se, but Lord Henry didn't need to know that. All he had to know was, that she was uncommitted and in distress. Maybe he would settle for another bride, if she tried hard enough.

„That's a shame, really.“, Lord Henry replied, sighing. „I fear I won't even make it to an alter to be left at. Interesting choice to host an engagement party without a bride.“

„We would have had to host it at the cemetery, for her to be present.“, Mary chimed in, pouring herself a drink behind them. Edith turned around to her sister, looking at her in shock.

„You didn't have to blurt it out like that.“, she said disapproving but Mary only shrugged.

„What? Don't you think this poor man should know the girl he is supposed to marry is dead?“

Lord Henry raised his brows in confusion, gaze switching between both women, before he spoke.

„I'm afraid you have to explain.“, he said.

„It was a terrible accident, many years ago.“, Mary said, putting her hand on his shoulder in consolation. „Tragically Aunt Moira never recovered from the loss. Poor cousin Aiden had to suffer her mourning ever since. She was his twin, you must know.“

Edith nodded wistfully along her sisters tale. They couldn't deny that Aine McTavish once had existed, but as she didn't anymore, any excuse for her absence was fine.

„That's why the marchioness called him Aine before?“, Lord Henry asked, slowly seeming to understand the drama that had ensued at the beginning of the evening. „She thinks he is her?“

„She does.“, Edith confirmed. „She never wanted a son, I think. He reminds her to much of his father.“

„She even tried to put him in dresses, can you believe that?“, Mary added.

Across the room Edith could see Aiden entering, trying to avoid ending up in the same room as his mother, without a doubt. The Countess of Euston was following him, very much to his disdain.

Aiden felt like a criminal with the way he was switching the room every few minutes, trying to be exactly where his mother wasn't at any given moment. Like he had broken into a mansion, trying to avoid the guards. He had been successful so far, having the footmen tell him, in which rooms to expect her, until he ran directly into her mid conversation with Countess of Euston.

What followed was the usual: deadnaming, accusations and the demand for him to stop moping at his own engagement party. Aiden excused himself to follow Thomas into the next room, really not wanting to deepen the conversation, but the countess had listened and now she was convinced that not only his non-existing sister would marry, but also him.

„So it is your engagement we celebrate today?“, she asked, following him into the library. Aiden rolled his eyes in defeat. „But I thought the wonderful Lord Henry will be the groom...“

„No, well yes, he is supposed to marry.“, Aiden said, trying to find a logical solution to his problem. „But not me, obviously, because we are both men.“

„I see, and who is going to be your bride?“, she asked, still confused. „I hope at least one bride cared to show up today.“

„Well...“, Aiden stuttered, looking around helplessly.

„He is going to marry me.“, a gleeful voice chimed in, as Rose locked arms with the young lord. „Aren't you, darling?“

Aiden looked at his cousin in utter shock. The whole family had been looking at him weird this evening, Rose being the worst with it. He had the feeling they were planning something, but he wasn't able to figure out what it was. It worried him, that all he could do now, was to play along and hope for the best.

„Yes...“, he confirmed, a hesitant smile on his face. „We are going to marry, honey...“

His last words came out more like a question than a confirmation, as he met Thomas' gaze, who had looked up reflexively at his pet name. What kind of mess did he manoeuvrer himself into now...

„A double wedding? How wonderful!“, the countess exclaimed, clapping her hands. „I have to tell Lady Prudence at once!“

With that she was gone, leaving them behind.

„What the hell, Rose?“, Aiden asked her quietly. „Why did you tell her that?“

Thomas walked over to them, a puzzled look on his face.

„Because your mother can't force you to marry, when you already are.“, she said. „Don't worry, we don't actually have to marry. People just have to think we do.“

She smiled at the underbutler, who didn't seem to be happy at the thought of Aiden marrying anyone at all. One room over there was a loud gasp to hear.

„Just a heads up, Mary just told Lord Henry that Aine is your dead twin sister.“, Lady Cora said, walking up to the three of them, a worried look on her face.

„She did what?“,Aiden asked, voice high in desperation. Lady Moira entered the room, making a bee line for her son. „I have a feeling the countess just told her, that Rose and I are going to marry.“

Lady Cora groaned.

„Oh dear...“, she said, kneading her hands. „This is getting out of hand.“

„Aine McTavish!“, the voice of his mother roared loudly through the room. „How dare you to marry a woman!“

Even the most oblivious person at this dinner party must have noticed that there was drama going on with the way Lady Moira was shouting at her son, who she called her daughter, who was nowhere to be seen.

Aiden had hear shout before, many times, but never like this. She had shouted at hi, when he had cut his own hair, holding the ginger locks accusingly into his face. She had shouted at him, the first time she saw him wearing a suit at a fair in Melbourne, dragging him home by his earlobe. And she had shouted at him when they had undressed him at the clinic, seeing his chest for the first time since he lost the dead freight he had been burdened with.

Now she was shouting again, but she was also crying. Ugly wet tears ran over her face, reddening her eyes as she accused him of being a changeling, a child of the devil who had been stealing her lovely darling girl, only seconds away from actually hitting him. The whole room was sunken in silence, tension so thick one could have cut it.

Aiden stood frozen on the spot, the only thing anchoring him being Rose, who he was still locking arms with, wishing it would have been Thomas instead. His body was present, but his mind was far gone, thinking of happy thoughts, trying to hold in the tears. Thoughts about the quiet time between breakfast and lunch, sitting in the servants lounge chatting. The sound of a pencil scratching over paper, the feeling of rough linen in Thomas' bed, the smell of soap and cigarette smoke. Happy thoughts he had memorized during his time at the clinic.

„Lady Moira.“, Lady Coras voice rang in his ears, gentle but full of authority. „I think it's enough.“

The young lord blinked a few times, not one tear had escaped his eyes, before he looked up to his aunt. She stepped closer to Lady Moira, putting a hand on her arm to stead her.

„Aine is dead, Moira.“, she said softly. „She has been dead for a long time and she will not return. It's time for you to accept that she is gone. And that Aiden is not her.“

Lady Moira looked at Aiden with a dazed expression and for a second he dared to hope that she would finally see the truth, before her eyes hardened again.

„This.“, she spit, index finger pointing at him. „This is not my son!“

She ripped herself out of Lady Coras grip and left the party with heavy steps.

Aiden didn't keep track of what happened after that. Some people left, some people stayed, returning to their rooms for an early night. He excused himself in need of fresh air.

Through the patio door he entered the terrace, taking a deep breath. The cold air burned in his lungs, his whole body was shaking and he needed to support himself in the back of one of the chairs. He desperately wanted something to drink.

A hand found its way over Aidens back and he didn't need to look to know it was Thomas, who stood behind him, letting him chose how close he would want him. Aiden didn't hesitate pressing himself against the man, needing him to ground him again in reality. Needed to feel, that he was still with him. Thomas let him, pulling him closer even.

„I understand now, why your underbutler tried to poison me with canapés.“

With a jump Aiden pulled out of their entrance, when he heard Lord Henrys voice behind him. He turned around, expecting to see a disgusted face or even worse, the grim face of a man who would call the police as soon as he was inside again. But Lord Henry wore a lazy smile on his lips, head tilted and eyes soft.

„Andre told me his little fox was a troublemaker.“, he added. „But I didn't expect that much chaos, to be honest.“

Aiden blinked at him in confusion. There was only one person who dared to call him his little fox and that was Andrew Marshall, his best friend and owner of the Peacock Bar. A bar for people with unconventional interests.

„You're Andrews cousin!“, he said as it finally dawned him. „Henry the Giant!“

Henry laughed, whether about his ridiculous accurate nickname or the face Aiden was making, he didn't know. But it was a nice laugh, deep and hearty, just like Andrews.

„I am.“, he confirmed. „And he told me to greet you. We thought it might be a nice surprise.“

Aiden hadn't written to Andrew for a long time, after he returned to Downton. When he finally forced himself to do it, he emptied his whole heart into the letter, and Andrew had replied in equal measure. He had understood that Aiden had to flee to England again, not just running from his mother but also running to the man who held his heart. He had told him, he would do whatever it took to help him and apparently a staged elopement had been part of that.

„Just to understand this correctly...“, Aiden began slowly, having melted back into Thomas chest behind him. „You told my mother you would marry me? So she wouldn't search for someone to actually marry me?“

„Something like that, yes.“, Henry said. „We found her advert in the newspaper and- Would you stop glaring like that? I just wanted to spare your man some nasty wedding business.“

Aiden felt Thomas startle behind him and realised what Henry had said before.

„Wait, you tried to poison him?“, he asked, turning around to Thomas, who still glared at the other man.

„No, Daisy did.“, Thomas said eventually, looking down innocently. „I only carried the tray.“

„Thomas!“, the young lord scolded him, having to laugh though. „I'm so sorry, Henry, but i fear you are not very liked in this house.“

„I noticed.“, Henry replied smiling. „Beside the fact you had two bodyguards trying their hardest to distract me with snack from talking to you, your family also gave their best to talk me out of marrying you. Or your dead twin sister.“

Aiden grimaced, scrunching up his nose. This whole evening had gotten out of hand. Whatever the Crawleys had planned to do, they surely had forgotten to actually decide on one strategy, resulting in all of them scattering conflicting information about the situation he was in. Again he apologized.

„Don't worry.“, Henry said, softly smiling. „I hadn't have that much fun in a while. And it all worked out, didn't it? You don't have to worry about having to marry someone and you certainly won't have to worry about anyone asking about Aine again.“

Aiden wanted to agree with him, when he heard another door opening a few metres further. With a heaving a a man ran outside, past the three man, into the woods and loudly emptied the contents of his stomach.

„Was that Moleslay?“, Thomas asked with worry, trying to see something in the dark.

„I think it was...“, Aiden replied. „And I thought I had a drinking problem.“

„I'll see if he's alright.“, the underbutler excused himself, a last stern look at Henry.

Aiden rolled his eyes at his silly behaviour, watching him leave until his silhouette was devoured by darkness.

„I'll be leaving to.“, Henry said, when Aiden turned back to him. „Someone has to make sure your mother returns home safely.“

The young lord sighed wistfully. The woman was a dragon and though he never wanted to see her again, she was still his mother.

„Also Andrew will be thrilled to hear that he hasn't to worry about you.“, Henry added. „You are right where you should be.“

With a last farewell Henry Davis left and Aidens fear about the future left with him. He was right, Aiden was where he should be. Home is where the heart is, they said, and his was at Downton Abbey with all the people that lived here. This was his home and this was his family. He loved the Crawleys and he loved the friends he made downstairs and most importantly he loved Thomas. And Thomas loved him. In the end it was as simple as that.

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 16

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: The love between Aiden and Thomas is the worst kept secret at Downton Abbey.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Chapter 16 - The pride of a father

It took some time until Aiden had recovered enough to leave the bed again, after he had passed out cold during the cricket match. It hadn't been the best opportunity, but he and Thomas had finally have the chance to talk about the train wreck of relationship they had going on, clearing more than one misunderstanding on the way.

Aiden still loved Thomas and Thomas still loved Aiden, it was as easy as that, after all.

The young lord hadn't recovered from his treatment yet, but he made progress, slowly. Talking to Thomas and seeing that he would not abandon him for his involuntary feelings, had lifted some of the tension he had felt and he had not realized how much he had missed sleeping next to Thomas. No matter what the doctors had conditioned him into feeling, in Thomas' arms he still felt safe.

He hadn't heard a lot about what happened at the Abbey for the last few days, his only source of information being Thomas, who visited him daily, and his aunt, who didn't want to agitate him. Edith had been snuck in once, telling him Thomas was walking on eggshells around Lord Robert, but was skipping happily through the hallways, when he thought no one was looking. Other than that he had missed out on daily gossip of the servants and he was thrilled to join them in the lounge again.

„My lord.“, he heard Carsons voice through the door, after a knocking. „Are you decent?“

Aiden grinned.

„Morally? Never.“, he replied. „But I'm wearing trousers, if that's what you're asking.“

Carson opened the door and greeted him with an disapproving look.

„I know you must be feeling well, when you talk like this again.“, he said, closing the door behind him.

Aiden smiled at him fondly, putting his sketch book into his desk. His ability to draw had improved again since there was not much else to do, while being under bed rest. Also Thomas made a great model to practise on.

„I wanted to tell you something, my Lord.“, Carson began to speak. „And I think I should have told you a long time ago.“

Aiden crossed his arms, furrowing his brows in suspicion.

„Do I have to worry?“, he asked, half as a joke, but Carson looked at him with such seriousness that he actually started to worry.

„I know you don't remember much about your father, but I knew him well.“, Carson said, ignoring his question, as if what he wanted to say had burdened his conscience for a while now. „He loved you and your sister very much, but he always wished for a son. All what you did and all that you have become... I can assure you, he would be very proud of you. As am I.“

Aiden was speechless. He silently blinked at the butler before him, biting his quivering lip, willing the tears away, that threatened to spill over his cheeks. Carson was right, he didn't remember much about his father. He also couldn't remember anyone saying these words to him, since he had been six years old and finally overcome his fear of leprechauns.

„I may have been unkind to Thomas for a long time and I yet have to apologize for that.“, Carson continued. „But I want you to know, that Downton Abbey will always be your home, for both of you. I can't change how society will see your kind of relationship, but I'll make sure that this house will be safe.“

Aiden sniffled and found no words. He felt like his throat was closing up and he sensed a headache coming with all the tension that had build up in his head, caused by the efforts not to start wailing like a baby. Not sure what to do or to say, he made his way to the butler, hugging him tight.

„Thank you so much...“, he said quietly into the shoulder of a father figure for the second time this week, trying hard to get himself under control again. Carson awkwardly patted his back.

„You have to tell Thomas.“, Aiden said after he had peeled himself from the man, straightening his clothes after the sudden display of emotional instability. „You are the closest thing to a father he has, and he needs to know that you think differently than his real father did.“

Aiden knew that Thomas needed to hear this more than himself. The young lord called too many people in Melbourne his friends, to think he was alone with the way he was living, but Thomas did not. Everything he ever heard was to be foul and perverted, unnatural... These words did hurt being said by strangers and even more being said by people one was close to. Thomas deserved to hear that he was loved, that people cared for him, despite and for his differences.

Carson nodded, visibly growing uncomfortable.

„I will, my lord.“, he promised, straightening his back. „If you'll excuse me now, I'll must prepare breakfast, before his lordship grows impatient.“

Aiden watched the butler leave, glad that he still had time to dry his tears before going downstairs too. His family worried enough about him already, more tears would only cause them to worry more.

When Aiden eventually stepped into the dining room, the whole family was assembled. He didn't remember the last time, when everyone had gathered to eat breakfast together at the same table. Even Mary and Lady Cora had decided to join them.

He awkwardly walked to his seat, wishing them a good morning, before sitting down.

„I'm glad to see you among the living again, Aiden.“, his uncle said, smiling at home across the table. „You gave us quite a fright.“

„Sorry for that.“, Aiden replied. „But don't worry, I really don't want to repeat that.“

He poured himself a cup of coffee, ignoring the way his cousin Rose grinned in her tea. Aiden furrowed his brows in suspicion, knowing the face she made when she planned something. Rose MacClare, the youngest daughter of his uncle Shrimpie, had been living with them for a while now, causing chaos wherever she went. The young lord saw himself in his cousin sometimes and he was sure, they would have been so much better friends now, if he hadn't lived through a depressive episode for the last months. He ignored her for now, as she had done nothing yet and he had noticed something else entirely.

„I don't think I have ever seen you without your hair up, Aunt Cora.“, he said, watching her with a tilted head. „Are you going trying something new?“

Lady Cora sighed into her tea.

„O'Brien quit last night. Left without a word to become Lady Flintshires new maid in India, can you believe it...“, she replied, putting her cup down.

Aiden raised both eyebrows, being positively surprised.

„Oh?“, he asked, lifting his cup to his lips. „Would you look at that...“

„You don't happen to have anything to do with it, do you?“, his aunt asked him with a knowing look, causing the young lord to smile innocently into his cup.

„No, I didn't do anything.“, he said truthfully. „I wish I did, though.“

Aiden could confidently say, that he hated few people as much as he hated Sarah O'Brien. The former maid could have gone to the end of the world and he still wouldn't find her being far enough. After all the things she had said, he wished her a nasty sun burn at least.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Aiden saw Thomas entering the room, carrying a fresh pot of hot water. He shot him a smile, blushing only the faintest bit, before turning his back on him, tending the breakfast tea. Aiden sighed enraptured before tearing his eyes away, not wanting to get caught staring.

„So...“, Rose said loudly into the silence at the table. „You and the underbutler, hm?“

Aiden could stop himself from choking on his coffee, but he jumped nonetheless when he heard a clattering of cutlery behind him. With wide eyes he looked at his grinning cousin, who didn't even try to hide her face behind a napkin.

„Yes... Yes, me and the underbutler.“, Aiden confirmed before quickly turning around to Thomas. „Are you okay?“

Thomas wore the same expression Aiden had at her words, now crouching down to gather the lost spoons.

„I'm alright, my lord.“, he replied, not looking at him. Aiden turned around again, pondering if it was proper to go and help him.

„I'm so glad this is out in the open now.“, Edith said relieved. „I don't know how much longer I could have pretended I didn't know.“

Lord Robert looked at her in disbelieve, slowly lowering his newspaper.

„You knew?“, he asked his daughter. „Since when?“

Mary rolled her eyes, while buttering a piece of toast.

„Papa, everybody knew.“, she said amused. „It was hard not to notice.“

Aiden swallowed when his uncle turned to him, his face a mixture of confusion and irritation.

„How long has this been going on?“, he asked with a stern look.

„Well, that depend entirely on what you consider as a start...“, he began, fumbling with the edge of the table cloth. The young lord suddenly felt very small, as his uncle did not stop looking at him expectantly.

„How long?“

„Maybe since the dinner with Mama...?“, Aiden said quietly, not looking at him.

Lord Robert exhaled loudly, shaking his head in disbelieve.

„I can't believe it... in my own house... and I never knew...“

Aiden shot a look to Thomas, who still stood in the background. He had straightened himself again, watching the floor, spoons still in hand. Aiden didn't need to see his eyes, to know they were full of fear.

„I love this man, I love him dearly.“, Aiden said with all the authority he could muster. „And I will not abandon him, no matter what you say. If you choose to throw me out, I'm taking him with me. Just so you know.“

The young lord had stubbornly lifted his chin, locking eyes with his uncle, who still seemed to process the fact that there were things happening in his home, he had no clue of. Then he remembered, that Thomas still had a say in this matter.

„If he would want to, that is.“

When Aiden turned around, he found Thomas staring at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. He looked almost exactly like the morning, when Aiden had woken up in the former footmans bed for the first time. Stunned, mortified and a little bit afraid. He swallowed hard, before speaking. With a stern face he turned to Lord Robert.

„I don't think I could bear staying somewhere, where he isn't.“, Thomas said seriously, before looking back to Aiden. „Fire me, if you must, but that won't keep us apart. My heart is with him, always.“

Silence laid itself onto the room. This hadn't been the first time that Thomas had confessed his feelings to Aiden, but it had been the first time he did it publicly and he chose to say it right into the face of his lordship, who happened to be something like his father-in-law now and also had threatened to fire him for less personal matters in the past.

„Awww, this is so romantic...“, Rose cooed, folding her hands over her heart. „Like in these romance novels.“

Mary had to laugh at her reaction.

„You should've have seen the drama, that came before this confession.“, she said with an amused smile.

„Or the drama, that will come after it.“, Edith added.

Lord Robert inhaled and exhaled again, nodding slowly, pondering.

„Well, good to hear, that both of you are committed.“, he said eventually and not a word further.

Aiden waited a few seconds, just to be sure, but as his uncle only continued his breakfast, the young lord looked helplessly to Thomas.

„So, you are okay with this?“, he asked carefully, making his uncle sigh.

„I don't need to tell you, that a relationship like this is highly unconventional. In more than one way.“, he said, looking up to him. His expression was gentle. „But I already lost a daughter because of my intolerance. I don't indent to lose a son.“

Aiden needed a few seconds to process the fact that he had just gotten his uncles blessing to not only pay court to a man but also an underbutler. A smile growing wide in his face he almost jumped out of his chair to run over to Thomas. He knew a kiss right now would be over the top, but he had to feel the other man to make sure this was not some kind of fever dream and he was still recovering in bed.

„However, I must insist on some rules.“, Lord Robert added, when Aiden had reached the underbutler. „First rule: I understand, that I can't keep you out of each others rooms, but please stop sneaking around the house in the middle of the night.“

Thomas' grip was strong, when Aiden took his hand, as if he would fear the young man would disappear, if he didn't hold on to him, fearing, what he heard was to good to be true.

„Understood, we'll decide on one bed and stay there. What else?“, Aiden replied, brushing with his thumbs over Thomas wounded hand. He had told him about this injury, what he had done to come home to him. Aiden still felt bad, that he hadn't been there, when Thomas returned, after all that he had done. The fair leather glove was a daily reminder.

„Second rule: Be discreet, if we have guests over. And now off with you.“

Not a second after his lordship had ended his sentence, both men hurried out of the room, Aiden pulling the still baffled Thomas after him. Lord Robert shook his head, softly smiling.

„What is it with the children of this house, running off with commoners?“, he asked, while Lady Cora patted his hand in sympathy.

„Times are changing, my dear.“, she said. „Who knows, maybe someday the Queen of England will be a commoner as well?“

His lordship shot her an unamused look.

„Now, that this matter is taken care of, let's talk about one last problem.“, Lady Cora said, putting chin onto folded hands. „How do we stop the wedding?“

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 14

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Aiden hates cricket. Thomas is there to catch him.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Chapter 14 - A Dé-jà-vu

The cricket gods had been generous, when the day of the match came. The sun was up, the wind was low and it hadn't rained in two days. The temperature was neither chilly nor hot. The weather was perfect. Aiden however felt miserable.

The young lord had retreated into one of the big tents, where he sat in the shadow, equipped with sunglasses and a sun hat, glaring at anyone who happened to come near. It wasn't hot, not even 25° Celsius, but his shirt clung to his skin in cold sweat. He had abandoned his sweater somewhere along the morning, causing him to shiver with every gust of wind.

Aiden was sure he must look as bad as he felt. One look in the mirror had proven him right, the bags under his eyes being even darker than before. He hadn't slept well, in fact he hadn't slept at all, the twitching of his muscles had kept him awake in the short amounts of time where he hadn't run to throw up into the sink. His stomach was long empty and Aiden had tried to appease it with a piece of toast, even if it was only to make the puking less painful.

He felt miserable, but he had made a promise and he would keep it, at least once.

Thomas looked relieved, Aiden found. Lord Robert had done his part of the deal, having promoted the former footman to an under butler even. Jimmy had been promoted to the first footman, probably to bribe him into dropping his charges against his colleague, not knowing that the young man had already done that. Aiden watched both man walking over the pitch, pleasantly talking about god-knows-what. They looked like friends. Aiden looked away.

„I brought you coffee with lemon.“, he heard Toms voice beside him. „Please don't kill me.“

The man offered him a cup with a smile, before sitting down next to him.

„It helps with the headache.“, he explained. „Helped me a lot after a long night at the pub.“

Aiden muttered a thank you, before trying the coffee.

„It tastes not as bad as it sounds.“, he said after a moment. „I'm surprised.“

He and Tom had become friends before he became part of the family, bonding over their shared Irish heritage. Sometimes Aiden would entertain the thought of following Sybils example and simply ask Thomas to run away with him somewhere far away, where they could marry and be happy. But then reality would catch up with him, leaving him even more miserable than before.

„Do you think you'll survive the game?“, Tom joked, causing Aiden to raise an eye brow.

„The question is not, if I'm going to survive, but if my opponent is going to survive.“, he replied, nipping at his coffee. „I don't see how you all think it's a good idea to give me a bat.“

Aiden didn't want to play cricket and the more he thought about having to play, the more he wanted to smash the ball into someones face, whether it would be an opponent or Moseley, who he would run into first. God, he really hoped it would be Moseley.

The former butler of Lady Isobel, who has some kind of on-off employment at the Abbey, seemed to live for cricket. That alone would be reason enough for Aiden to dislike him, but he also tended to blab about techniques and throws, showing of his apparent expertise. He had screwed up most of his throws today, still he just wouldn't stop talking.

„I don't know why I agreed to this.“, Aiden muttered, watching Moseley approaching. He readied himself for the inevitable, taking of his sun hat while standing up.

„Because you love him.“, Tom answered his rhetorical question, making Aiden grimaced.

„I assure you, my feelings for Mr. Molesley are anything but amicable.“, he said, taking a second to regain his sight. His vision had become black and frizzy for a moment.

„You know that's not who I meant.“, Tom said. „Have you talked to Thomas yet?“

Aiden looked at him and sighed. He knew him too well, to expect being given a rest.

„No, can't you see, he has a new best friend.“, he replied sarcastically, crossing his arms. „Now, don't look at me like that. We can't all be runningaround marrying our servants. Sybil was an outlier and shouldn't have been counted.“

In moments like this, Aiden often wished for her to still be with them. Aiden was sure, if she had been, she would have chewed him out already for the way he was treating her favourite footman. And without a doubt she would have tore Thomas a new one for kissing someone other than her cousin.

„I don't need to tell you, what Sybil would tell you to do, if she was here.“, Tom said, pulling Aiden out of his thoughts. „Poor man is confused out of his mind, why you would still want him around. Please talk to him, reconcile with him or ditch him for good, I don't care. But talk to him, for the sake of everyone.“

„Lord Aiden!“, Molesley called him as he entered the tent, making the young lord sigh in agony. „It's your turn. If I may give you an advice, the way one angles the elbow while throwing is essentia-“

„Good talk, Moseley.“, Aiden interrupted him, patting his shoulder as he walked passed him. „But I got to go. „I'm sure Tom is thrilled to hear about it though.“

Aiden couldn't hide a grin, as he left the tent, knowing that Tom was far too polite to escape this conversation, but he lost it as soon as he stepped out into the sun. A piercing pain went through his skull, when the light hit his eyes and it needed a moment to pass. Oh, how he hated cricket.

He made his way over to the pitch, trying to ignore Thomas who stood not far from his position. The batter on the other side of the pitch was a man that frequently attended the pub, Aiden remembered. He recognized him from one incident, where he had claimed the young lord would be flirting with his girl. He hadn't, obviously, but he lost almost twenty pounds that night, trying to convince him on that.

Aiden looked over the brim of his glasses, trying to to focus on the wicket behind the man. Although it was only twenty metres away, he had trouble actually seeing it, his vision getting blurrier the more he tried. The young lord decided to aim the ball randomly. He had promised his uncle to play after all, not that he would be playing good.

He exhaled slowly, ignoring his shaking hands and closed his eyes, before he aimed and threw. If he had hit the wicket or nor, he couldn't tell, but the team cheered for him, so he couldn't have missed. Aiden didn't care though, he was busy willing his growing headache away. Everything was too bright and too warm, his body wouldn't stop trembling and he felt sicker with every second.

„Are you okay, love?“, he heard Thomas voice beside him, but he wasn't sure if he imagined it. He sounded far away, like in a dream, though Aiden could feel his presence next to him. He sounded worried with whatever he said next, Aiden couldn't quite make out among the ringing in his ears, that grew louder and louder with time.

He looked up to him, finding him standing in the sunlight. Thomas hair was free of his usual style, hanging in his face, the way Aiden preferred it. His skin was reddened by the sun and the exercise. The cream colour of his outfit was unusual, but not bad. He looked good like this, happy, and also a bit worried, though Aiden couldn't tell why.

Everything became light and Aiden wondered. He had always expected to see an angel after he died, not right before he did.

xxx

I don't feel well.

Thomas hadn't expected this too be the last words he would be hearing from Aiden. Maybe he would have expected something like leave me aloneor I wish I'd never met you,but it were these words the young man had uttered, before he passed out into his arms. Thomas had the worst kind of dejavue.

The memory of their surroundings had become a blur after that. People were shouting, someone had called a doctor and somehow there had been police involved. Thomas still hadn't found out what that had been about. He had been busy not to panic, while Aidens body had been hit by violent convulsions.

He had been the one carrying him into the shadows, before Dr. Clarkson tried his best to hold his body in place for a proper treatment. Thomas had been watching the young man, whose body, though still moving, had been looking like a corpse for weeks now. He felt guilty, for not helping him, for not asking what was wrong and most importantly for at least being partially responsible for his condition.

He had also been the one who had carried the now motionless body to his chambers, where Dr. Clarkson had thrown him and everyone out, except for Lady Grantham. The door had closed and Thomas was mere seconds away from hyperventilating.

Hell broke loose as the news reached the last servants of the house. Like vultures they gathered around the hallway, trying to get more information from the witnesses, until Carson called them to order. They meant well, they were worried, but all their questions make Thomas' skin crawl. He would have started to scratch it red and bloody, if it hadn't been for Jimmy, who handed him a cigarette. Carson had pretended not to see him smoking and said nothing.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened with an eerie creak. Dr. Clark stepped out, meeting numerous waiting eyes, and cleared his throat.

„He's fine now, according to the circumstances.“, he said quickly, causing more than one relieved sigh. „But he needs rest now.“

The doctor bid his farewell, followed by Lady Grantham, who had walked out of Aidens room behind him. Thomas head jumped up, when he heard her speak. The underbutler sat distressed on the floor on the hallway, his back leaning against the wall where he watched his trembling hands. The whole Abbey knew Thomas as tidy and reserved, always proper and never any less than perfect. Now he looked more like he had been hauled through the woods by a car for twenty minutes. His hair was messy, his shirt was wrinkled and dirty. His eyes red and teary. He looked miserable, anything but presentable. Lady Grantham smiled at him kindly.

„You should go to him.“, she said quietly. „He wants to see you.“

„Of course...“, Thomas replied, still beside himself, before clearing his throat. He stood up, trying to fix his attire as much as possible. Her ladyship was so kind to pretend he was succeeding.

With a quiet click the door closed behind him. The room was dark and Thomas needed a few seconds before his eyes had gotten used to the darkness, but he could make out Aidens form laying on his bed. He had lost his shirt, probably to lower the fever, and was only covered by a thin blanket. A wet cloth lay on his forehead.

„Thomas...?“, he asked with a faint voice, slightly turning his head into his direction. „What happened? Did we win?“

Thomas couldn't help to chuckle at his words, as he sat down next to the bed, quickly wiping away the tears that had formed in his eyes.

„We are at a draw, but you hit the wicket.“, Thomas said, shaking his head. „I can't believe you hit it in that condition.... I can't believe you even played!“

Aiden looked at him with a face of determination, that contrasted heavily with how tired he looked.

„I made a deal.“, he said in a matter of fact. „I promise I'd play, so I did.“

Thomas took a deep breath. Aiden talked to him and he needed answers. The boy couldn't run away in his state. This was his only chance.

„I don't understand why you are doing this for me.“, he said truthfully, locking eyes with the man beside him. „The way you treated me, made me assume, that you didn't want me anymore, and it hurt, but I was ready to accept that. But you still call me pet names, you ask me to dance, only to run away like I burned you. And now you almost die on my, trying to make sure I won't suffer the consequences of my own actions.“

Thomas did not tell him how much it had hurt to feel this way, he had the feeling the young lord suffered enough the way it was. Another reason to finally talk this out, so they both could move on.

„I want to understand, what this is.“, he said pleading. „Please tell me, what happened in Melbourne.“

Aiden looked away, his face a pained grimace and Thomas let him take his time. Whatever it was, it must have been bad, if he never told anyone about it.

„I'll tell you.“, the young lord said finally, still avoiding his gaze. „But you have to listen until the end. And you have to understand, what I'll tell you is... it may hurt you. I didn't know how to tell you this, without hurting you.“

Thomas nodded, waiting for him to speak.

„My grandmother died. That's why I had to leave.“, Aiden began, fidgeting with his hands. „I intended to stay no longer that two weeks, just until after the funeral, but when I wanted to leave, they wouldn't let me.“

Aiden paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

„Mama decided that I was sick and send me to a clinic for treatment.“, he said with furrowed brows. „I don't think I have to tell you what kind of sickness they wanted to treat.“

He didn't, Thomas thought. He knew too well what these kind of clinics promised to achieve, had seen the articles in the newspaper.... choose your own way, they said. He would lie, if he claimed he had never thought about it.

„After 3 months, half of the people I came with were dead, they either killed themselves or didn't survive the electro-therapy. That was when I understood I had to play along, if I wanted to survive.“, Aiden said further, his mind being far away. „I did what they told me to do, said what they wanted to hear. I put on a dress, put on make up and did all the things a proper lady would do. I did a few things no proper lady would do... or let someone do to her... and after a few months I walked out as Lady Aine McTavish. My mother was over herself with joy, I wanted to spit into her face, but that wouldn't have been ladylike, would it?“

Aiden snapped back into the present, briefly looking at Thomas shocked face, quickly looking away again.

„I said I'd meet her at the manor, but I booked a passage to Europe instead, bolting before she would see through my ruse.“, he said, inspecting his bitten nails. „I thought I'd be fine if I returned to Downton, home to you, that I could forget what happened, but... It seemed the conditioning got to my head after all.“

The young lord searched for Thomas hand, that he had laid on the mattress, grabbing it with a trembling hand. Thomas looked at him with surprise, not wanting to interrupt his story. He squeezed it once, just to tell him he was there.

„They try to wash your dirty feelings out of your mind by making you associate them with all kinds of ugly things. Violence, pain, emetics.. And everytime I saw you, I thought about the things they did.“, Aiden explained. „I wanted to hug you, and my body winced in pain. The mere though of talking to you, made me want to throw up. It was a strange sensation.“

Thomas tried to withdraw his hand, not wanting to cause him the pain he had just described, but Aiden held him with a surprisingly strong grip.

„I tried to counter it, conditioning myself to stop associating you with all of this.“, he continued. „I tried alcohol and fragrance oil, meditation and exposure therapy. When we danced I lasted for a whole twelve minutes, which is a lot, considering that I couldn't even look at you at the beginning.“

They were silent for a moment, Aiden having told what needed to be told and Thomas trying to process all of this. They should have had this conversation a long time ago.

„You should have told me sooner.“, he said, squeezing the young mans hand once again. „We would have found a way to fix this.“

„I know.“, Aiden replied. „And I wanted to, but then you kissed Jimmy. I thought it was too late.“

„I shouldn't have done that.“, Thomas said, grimacing. „That wasn't fair to any of us. I don't think he will ever forgive me.“

Aiden smiled at him. It wasn't yet the typical Aiden-smile, but it was something. He was alive, he was looking at him and he smiled. Thomas heart throbbed.

„He already has, and to be honest, I think you caused an awakening.“, Aiden disagreed, smile faltering. „Why did you kiss him?“

„I tried to get over you.“, he answered truthfully and could almost see the pang Aiden must be feeling in his heart.

„Do you still want to get over me?“, he asked quietly with hurt in his eyes and a tremor in his voice.

„Do I have to?“, Thomas asked, putting a chaste kiss on the young lords knuckles. „Do you still want to marry?“

Aiden scoffed.

„I never wanted to marry.“, he said, his face now angry. „Mama arranged an engagement with someone I don't know. She still thinks her plan was successful.“

Thomas could have realized this sooner, he thought. Of course Lady Moira would not give up turning Aiden into a proper lady and an arranged marriage did sound like something she would do.

„I don't think I could marry anyone else but you.“, Aiden murmured, almost to quietly for Thomas to hear it, but he did and the words make his chest swell with fondness. How had he ever thought he'd be able to get over Aiden McTavish? How lovely, that Aiden felt the same way.

„In this case, no, I don't want to get over you.“, Thomas said, letting out a shaking breath. „In fact, I don't think I ever could. After all I think I'm still completely and utterly in love with you.“

Thomas saw Aidens breath stutter at his words, before the young lord grabbed the cloth from his head and put it away.

„Was that a question or a statement?“, he asked, another smile starting to form on his face. He pushed himself up, so he could sit in the bed, not letting go of Thomas' hand the whole time.

„A statement.“, Thomas replied, smiling as well.

„Good.“, Aiden said. „Then we are on the same page here.“

Outside there were noises. Thomas couldn't quite make out what was being said, but he recognized Carsons voice ordering servants around.

„I assume Carson got fed up with all the people hogging the hallways.“, Thomas commented. „They will pester me with questions once I step out of the room, I'm sure.“

„Then don't.“

Thomas shouldn't. He should go downstairs, before Carson would wonder where he was. Dinner had to be prepared and he was expected to serve in the evening. He had spend too much time in the young lords chambers already and Carson wouldn't take his absence kindly, if it hadn't been her ladyships will. He was torn.

„Please don't go.“, Aiden said and Thomas remembered that he had almost lost him today. He really didn't want to leave him.

„Can you stomach me staying?“, he asked and Aiden lifted both their hands, fingers still intertwined.

„I'm still holding your hand and I'm fine.“, he said with confidence. „This is nice actually, I missed this. Exposure does wonders, it seems.“

Thomas pondered. If one of the higher-ups would see them, he would be in trouble. But Aiden needed him and he needed Aiden, having be parted for so long,

„Only for a few minutes.“, he sighed eventually, removing his shoes to climb into the bed next to the young lord. Aiden moved to the side, making space for the man to lay down next to him. Only for a few minutes, he thought as he pulled the young man into his arms, then he would go downstairs, apologizing for his absence and prepare to serve dinner, like any other day. Aiden crawled into his chest, clawing his fingers into Thomas' shirt, as if he feared he would leave him. Only for a few minutes.

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 12

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Edith and Aiden have a chat about scandals.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Chapter 12: A proper scandal

Lady Moira McTavish had always told him not to drink before five o'clock in the evening. That had been the golden rule in their house after his fathers death. She herself had never touched a bottle again, and though she could not forbid her children to drink at a night out, she made sure they didn't overdo it at home. But this wasn't Melbourne and Lady Moira wasn't here, so Aiden didn't care.

He poured himself a glass of gin and sat down on the small couch in the library. It was no whiskey, but it was Irish gin at least. To be frank, Aiden was far beyond the point to care what kind of alcohol he would drink.

It had started with wine, the sweet kind that allowed him to get away with drinking early in the day. Aiden found wine only made him horny and miserable, a horrible combination that didn't help his situation at all, not when the object of his affection was so close, yet so far away.

He wasn't sure if it was Thomas who found him in the cellar instead, trying to steal away a bottle or two. After all this time in which Aiden had done his best to avoid him, Thomas had found him, in the wine cellar of all places.

Aiden had broken Thomas' heart that day, he knew that and he had never felt more guilty in his life. So he switched to harder stuff than wine to keep his feelings in check, to numb the pain that forced him to break not only one heart that day.

With an unsatisfied frown he let himself fall into the pillows, laying down in the most inelegant way he could manage. He heard the door opening and steps approaching his hiding place.

Edith walked over to the bar and poured herself a glass of whiskey. She couldn't see him in his position, at least not until she turned around, jumping when she finally spotted him.

“Aiden!”, she exclaimed, clutching a non existing pearl necklace. “Are you drinking?”

“Of course not, it's 10 in the morning.”, Aiden replied, nipping at his drink. “Are you?”

“No...”, she said, glass still in hand.

They silently looked at each other for a while, not sure how to proceed, until Aiden sighed.

“Great.”, he said, patting the place beside him. “Let's not-drink together then.”

Edith hesitated for a second but eventually followed his invitation.

“So... my cousin dear.”, he said after a while. “Is there a special occasion for you to not-drink today?”

Aiden let his head roll on his shoulder to look at her, waiting for an answer.

Edith did not look at him.

“Can I tell you a secret?”, she asked eventually, turning the glass in her hands.

“Sure, I'm great at keeping secrets.”, Aiden replied. “I'll assure you, whatever you tell me, I've forgotten it by tomorrow morning.”

“I'm pregnant.”

Aiden spit out the gin he had just wanted to drink and grimaced. The alcohol did sting in his nose as he started to cough.

“You are what?”, he asked between coughs and looked at her, suddenly very sober.

“I know”, she said with a grimace. “I made a mistake and these are consequences of my own actions, Aunt Rosamund did chew me out already.”

Aiden looked at her in utter disbelieve. Of all three Crowley sisters, Edith had been the one he would have at least expected to end up in this kind of situation. Mary was brash, she was the oldest and naturally her arrogance could cause all kinds of problems. Sybil was the youngest, curious and righteous. She was the rebel of the family. But Edith? Edith was the middle child, mediocre in every aspect and with all due respect, boring. The poor girl had been left at the altar once, that boring.

“Do you know who the father is?”, Aiden asked carefully, before Edith shot him an offended look.

“Of course I know who the father is!”, she shot back. “I'm not sleeping around, Aiden.��

“Sorry...”, he said quickly. “That's not what I wanted to imply.”

He took a sip of his gin, waiting for Edith to speak further.

“It's Michael Gregson.”, she sighed miserably, dragging her finger over the rim of her glass. “He went to Germany, trying to divorce his wife, and now he disappeared.”

Aiden nodded slowly, still a little flabbergasted.

“That's unfortunate...”, he said, taking a deep breath. “Does Uncle Robert know?”

“Of course not. He would kill me.”, Edith said, vehemently shaking her head. “Only Aunt Rosamund and Granny know. And you.”

She took a last look at her whiskey before putting the glass on the table beside her. With a frown she turned around, facing Aiden.

“Aunt Rosamund wants me to go to Switzerland and the baby to be adopted, so nobody will find out. But I think this is just unfair.”. She said with an angry voice. “Everybody in this family gets to have their scandal: Marys tryst with Mr. Pamuk and him dying in her bed, Sybil running away with the chauffeur, Rose wanting to marry a black man, you being you... but me? Oh, nobody must know dumb Edith got pregnant out of wedlock!”

“Me being me?”, Aiden asked offended. “That's not fair, I want my own scandal. A proper one!”

Edith looked at him, raising an eye brow.

“Well, do you have one?”, she asked and Aiden blinked at her once, before averting his eyes. He stayed silent for a moment.

“I have slept with Thomas Barrow.”

“You have... no... with ourThomas Barrow?”, Edith asked in disbelieve, eyes wide as saucers. “No way!”

“Do you know another Thomas Barrow?”, Aiden asked, taking a sip of his gin. Edith only shook her head.

“I can't believe it...”, she said quietly. “When did you... Oh my god, it was his robe, wasn't it?”

Aiden grinned into his glass, remembering the day when this damned robe had given him away. He still hadn't returned it.

“Yes, it was his robe.”, the young man admitted. “But I swear, it was an innocent encounter that night. I kind of sleepwalked. And I also didn't shag him in the hallway, like I said at that disastrous dinner with Mama. I may have done it a few weeks later though...”

“Good lord... Papa is going to flip out, if he ever knows about this...”, Edith said after a while. “Is that the reason, why you are not-drinking? Sleeping with Barrow I mean?”

“More the fact, that I don't do any more...”, Aiden muttered with a frown. “I... I wasn't very nice to him recently.”

Not nice was an understatement, to say the least. Since Aiden had returned he didn't exchange many words with him, he didn't visit him and he didn't explain him either. He had just hoped that by ignoring the problem it would cease to exist, that Thomas would accept his faith and Aiden would never again have to talk about what happened at Melbourne. But of course it didn't work like this and they had not have that awkward meeting at the cellar. And now both of them were heartbroken and Thomas saw Aiden as the son of a bitch he was.

“Aiden?”, Edith asked carefully, touching his knee with her hand. “Do you love him?”

The young man inhaled deeply, holding the breath for a moment, before exhaling again audibly. He avoided her gaze, staring at something in the distance instead.

“Because by the way Thomas looks at you when you leave the room and how tense he is lately, I think he still does love you. And by your reaction, I think you do too.”

Aiden grimaced, as he turned back to her.

“I don't think it matters any more, if I do.”, he said slowly. “Something happened, while I was away and please don't ask me about it... but I can't even look at him without... I can't look at him, without wanting to run away and the mere thought of him touching me makes me want to die.”

With a face full of hurt Aiden tried to suppress the tears that threatened to run over his face.

“I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to feel any of this and...”, he said with a shaking voice. “Thomas doesn't deserve someone who can't even bear to look at him.”

Aiden closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to remember what they did to him, didn't want to remember the things he had to do to escape. And he didn't want to think about the things the future held for him.

“The reason I am drinking is... Mama wants me to marry.”, he said plainly. “She arranged an engagement with some man I neither know nor care to know and wants me to come home and play happy family as if she didn't rather have me dead than happy.”

Edith just sat next to him in silence and even if she had something to say, Aiden didn't gave her an opportunity. He hadn't spoken to anyone about this and now that he started he couldn't stop. His drunken state didn't help.

“I want it to be like it was before, before the war and before all of this happened. I want to hold him and to feel his arms around me and I want to kiss him, but I can't do any of this, because my own body betrays me, again!”, he said, hiding his face in his hands. “I miss him, I miss him more than I ever thought is possible and it's so much worse than during the war, because he is right here! He is right here and I can't reach him, because it's like a wall I keep running into and I don't know how to fix any of this... honestly, alcohol is the only thing that keeps me from throwing myself in front of a train or something like that.”

Edith had refrained from interrupting him, sensing that he needed to let it all out but after a while, realizing that he wouldn't say anything else, she eventually spoke.

“You have to tell him.”, she said firmly. “You don't have to tell me what happened, but he deserves to know. If it is, what I think it is, than he will understand. And if it's love, and I'm pretty sure it is, than you will find a way to fix this.”

Aiden looked at her for a moment.

“I hate you.”, he sighed. “You are right, but I hate you for it.”

“If it keeps you from hating yourself.”, she laughed. “Also I am completely selfish here. Your quarrel with Aunt Moira was the most fun I ever had at a dinner party. I hope you and Thomas will join forces the next time she is here.”

Aiden grimace. He hoped to never have to attend a dinner party in his mothers presence again.

“Fine, I'll talk to him, but I won't promise anything.”, he said defeated. He should have talked to him a long time ago, should have let Thomas decide, if he was worth the effort. It was not like Aiden didn't know that the voice that haunted him, that wanted to remove Thomas from his heart, wasn't really his own. “I'll just have to find the right timin-”

“Ah ah!”, Edith he interrupted him with a lifted finger. “You'll go downstairs right now. I know you, if you don't do it now, you won't do it ever.”

Aiden groaned, when she pulled him up and tried to shove him to the door.

“Carson will call for lunch soon, so you have roughly 30 minutes to declare your undying love and he still has time to process what you said and kiss you senseless. Just make sure he can still serve.”, she said, overly chipper, blocking his way back into the library. “I'll be waiting here, expecting a full report.”

Aiden rolled his eyes at her but made his way to the stairs. The gin buzzed through his veins and he hoped it was enough to calm his nerves. He rubbed his face and fixed his clothes, trying to look at least somewhat presentable, before walking down the stairs.

The servants lounge was empty, lest for Daisy and Mrs. Patmore who tended the kitchen, but Aiden almost immediately could feel some kind of tension that hung in the room. Out of the hallway, that led to the servant quarters, Alfred came walking around the corner. His face looked like he had bitten into a lemon, when he sat down at the kitchen table.

“Wow...”, Aiden said, looking back and forth between the three servants who all showed various stages of worry and discomfort. “What crawled up your ass and died?”

Alfred turned around, face painted an ugly shade of red almost the same colour as his hair.

“You are on of the higher-ups, Lord Aiden.”, he said. “You have to fire Mr. Barrows.”

Aiden lifted his eyebrows I surprise, crossing his arms dismissively.

“Excuse me?”, he said. “I think you have to watch your tone.”

Alfred seemed to have forgotten who he was talking to, he thought. The footman sighed and sheepishly lowered his head.

“I'm sorry, my Lord.”, he said. “But it is urgent. You can't have a man like that working here. He has to leave. Better yet, thrown into jail.”

“What are you talking about?”, Aiden asked confused. “What happened?”

“Oh you haven't heard?”, O'Brien chimed in as she entered the kitchen. “Mr. Barrow is molesting our footmen as of late. Sneaked right into Jimmys room at dead of night and kissed him in his sleep.”

Aiden felt his heart sink at her words while he watched her sitting down.

“Made quite a fuss, the lad, threatened to call the police, if Mr. Carson won't fire him without a reference.”, she added, pouring herself a cup of tea. “Seems he has taken it too far this time. I can't imagine his lordship approves of a perverted person like that living in his home.”

There probably hadn't ever been a person that Aiden hated more like he hated O'Brien in this moment. He felt his blood boiling as he clenched his jaw, mustering all his self control to not explode.

“Ms. O'Brien.”, he said with a calm voice and an over polite smile. “I think you are greatly overestimating the importance of your employment. I can't imagine her ladyship approves of a woman with a vocabulary like yours living in her home.”

With a shocked face the chamber maid looked up to him, lowering her cup in the process.

Aiden had been wrong, when he though her to be a friend of Thomas. She had never been a friend to anyone, it seemed. Before he could further let his disdain for her known, the door to Mr. Carsons office opened with a loud creak.

The face Thomas wore when he stepped out into the hallway was nothing compared to what it changed into, when he spotted the young lord standing in the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks, opening his mouth, as if he wanted to explain, but Aiden didn't let him.

“No.”, he said firmly, lifting his hands in rejection. “I don't want to hear it.”

Without another word he left the room, not bothering to go back to Edith who waited for him in the library. He went out through the servants entrance instead. Aiden needed air, his lungs were tight and no oxygen went through his ribs, twisting the knife with cruelty. With shaking hands he supported himself against the wall, trying not to hyperventilate.

Hot tears were stinging behind his lids as he realized he couldn't even keep the one promise he made to Thomas back then in the pub. Don't worry, he had said in that night, I won't let you get fired for something like that.

The pain of the procedure he had been forced to endure, the shame of his involuntarily repugnance against Thomas, nothing compared to the grief that now flooded his mind. He had fucked up and nothing could ever fix it. Thomas had rejected him and by that brought himself into massive troubles. Even if he could avoid prison, Thomas would have to leave Downton and he would never see him again and it was completely Aidens fault for not being brave enough to talk it out. Because he was a coward. Because deep inside he was a rotten as people thought him to be.

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - A Downton Abbey Fanfiction

Title: The Gancanagh

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Summary: Gancanagh - (from Irish gean cánach 'love talker') a male fairy in Irish mythology that is known for seducing women and men alike.

Thomas had not intended to fall in love with another lord, but as soon as Lord Aiden McTavish entered the stage, his heart betrayed him. He loved Aiden and Aiden loved him, it was as simple as that. Until it wasn't anymore.

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Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Epilog

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff search #flokileroux or #flokiwrites

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - A Downton Abbey Fanfiction

Titel: The Gancanagh

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Summary: Gancanagh - (from Irish gean cánach 'love talker') a male fairy in Irish mythology that is known for seducing women and men alike.

Thomas Barrow had not intended to fall in love with another lord, but as soon as Aiden McTavish entered the stage, his heart betrayed him. He loved Aiden and Aiden loved him, it was as simple as that. Until it wasn't anymore.

Contant and warnings: gay male characters, trans character, romance, slow burn, smut, period typical homophobia, period typical transphobia, alcohol abuse, addiction, trauma, mention of conversion therapy

Author notes: This was supposed to be a self indulgent fic about Thomas Barrow but then people got interested and I decided to actually put effort into it :D I had to tweak the timeline a bit for the plots sake so please don't be confused.

English is not my first language so please tell me if I got anything wrong.

Tagging @jolieblack and @irrationalgame who might be interested in this? if you want to be added or un-added on here please tell me :)

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic or search for #flokileroux or #flokiwrites to read my other stories.

Chapter 1: A new face

A new face arrives at Downton Abbey and Thomas doesn't know what to do with himself.

It was early in the morning, the sun had just been risen, but the servants of Downton Abbey were already up and awake. Lord and Lady Grantham expected a guest, which, considered by itself, was not unusual, but guests at Downton did generally not stay more than two or three days at most. This one however was going to stay.

For the staff it meant preparing a room, checking the functionality of said rooms bell, updating dietary restrictions and altogether letting Downton shine as much as possible. For Thomas is meant ordering them around.

The first footman was as curious about their new resident, as everyone was. Mr. Carson, the butler, had told the they expected Lord Aiden McTavish, the son of the Marchioness of Donegal. The noble Irish family were relatives of the Crawleys, who emigrated to Australia only ten years ago. Why the young lord decided to come the long way to Yorkshire just now, he did not tell. Not that Thomas had not tried to find out.

If there was someone who was able to dig out the darkest secrets the Abbey could offer, then it was Thomas Barrow. It had become some kind of hobby between him and O'Brian, the maid of her ladyship, but regarding this affair even he went nowhere.

About two hours after lunch he found himself lined up at the front door next to Downtons most important servants. Not every guest got that kind of greeting, only very important ones or members of the family. The last guest they had greeted like this had been the Duke of Crowborough, and Thomas grimaced at the thought of him. He wondered what kind of man this new lord would turn out to be. Would he be like the duke, self-serving and cruel? Would he be like Mr. Matthew, down-to-earth and unfitted for high society? Maybe he was a tanned brute without manners, like the Turkish diplomat had been, he was from Australia after all.

Thomas had to stop pondering the options, when Carson shot him an unapproving look. He straightened his face again and watched the carriage coming up the drive way.

The door opened after it had stopped and a young man stepped out, a bright smile on his face, which was only overshadowed by his flaming red hair. Thomas swallowed.

He was dainty, he found, almost too weedy for a boy his age, and outrageously pretty on top of that. Thomas had to avert his eyes, before Carson would found him staring.

“Aunt Cora, Uncle Robert!”, he greeted his lord- and ladyship, who seemed to be delighted and confused in equal measure. “It's good to see you.”

“Welcome to Downton, Aiden.”, Lady Cora said smiling, while her husband still seemed to be at loss for words. “I hope your travels were without complication?”

“Oh, it was lovely, if you don't mind being trapped on a ship for a month.”, he said with a grin. “No, seriously, it was fine.”

Aiden turned to his uncle. Lord Robert had eyed him up and down in wordless wonder and finally cleared his throat.

“You have changed.”, he said and made Aiden snort.

“Well, I hope I did.”, he replied, nervously rubbing his hand with his fingers. “And I hope for the better?”

Lord Robert smiled and patted his nephews shoulder.

“Of course, I'm impressed to be honest.”, he said with returning confidence. “Now come on in. Thomas will bring your luggage to your room.”

It took him a few seconds and a cough from Carson before he went into action and he looked up just in time for their eyes to meet. Thomas felt like his heart was stopping because the young lord looked at him with such an honest warmth, he had only seen in very few people. Especially not directed at him. He quickly forced himself to look away before tending the luggage.

“Please be careful with the leather bag!”, Aiden interjected, his voice full of worry. “The content is very fragile.”

“As you wish.”, Thomas said and tried to ignore the pale hand that almost touched his own, reaching for the bag.

“The girls will be home again by noon, but they are thrilled to see you again.”, he heard Lady Cora say, before she asked about the wellbeing of Aidens sister. He took a deep breath.

“Are you unwell, Thomas?”, Carson asked suspiciously, staying behind. “You are behaving like a hallboy.”

Thomas did not look at him, trying to control his rapid heartbeat.

“It's alright, Mr. Carson.”, he said instead and quickly took care of the luggage. He did not yet know how, but he was sure, Aiden McTavish would be the death of him.

A few hours later Thomas had almost overcome his encounter with the young lord. The Crawley daughters had returned by now and Mrs. Patmore was preparing this nights dinner. It was still time until they would serve it, time Thomas spend glaring at Mr. Bates from across the kitchen table.

Before his arrival, Thomas had been his lordships valet and he did not take it well being replaced. He had been doing a damn fine job and it wasn't fair to expect him to continue working as a mere footman. But perhaps, this would change now.

“Mr. Carson, have you decided who will become Lord McTavishs valet yet?”, he asked and sipped on his coffee, trying to sound desinterested. Carson made a face and put down his own cup.

“Lord Aiden will not be getting a valet.”, he said much to the servants surprise.

“Why not?”, Anna asked before Thomas had the chance to, a confused look on her face. It was one of the perks of being a noble, having someone helping one get dressed, whether it be a valet or a chamber maid. No lord ever visited Downton without one.

“Because it's his lordships wish.”, Carson said in a tone that would not allow any more questions.

Thomas blinked at him, snorted scandalized and shared a puzzled look with Anna. The maid shrugged and stifled a laugh.

“Oh, now don't look so offended, Thomas.”, Mrs. Patmore chimed in and shooed him out of his seat. He stood up with the rest of the servants, readying themselves for serving dinner.

“I would like to see your face, if his lordship decides to replace you with Daisy.”, Thomas snarled back. The cook rolled her eyes as he left.

It was probably for the best, he thought. Aiden McTavish was a handsome young man and like all handsome men he had to knew it. Thomas had have enough trouble with handsome man like that recently to know it was better for him to keep his distance.

xxx

There was a lot one could say about Thomas Barrow. That he was a scheming bastard for instance, who could call only a few people his friends. Or that he was more than willing to let others run into the open knife, if it served his purpose. But no one could say that Thomas had not tried to keep his distance from Aiden McTavish.

The young lord had found his way down into the servants lounge as early as his family had let him. He had introduced himself to the staff he now would share a house with and somehow stuck with them. Aiden didn't seem to take the protocol all too seriously, because day after day he went downstairs to visit them. Much to Carsons dismay, the boy had made a habit to chat up the maids and hallboys, effectively keeping them from their work. The butler would have intervened but even he had to admit that Aidens presence was lifting the mood of everyone around.

Thomas learned a lot about the young lord. He learned that Aiden missed snow, since it never seemed to snow in Australia. He also learned that Aiden liked to draw. When he wasn't telling them stories or the latest gossip from upstairs, he sat in silence and drew. It was a good opportunity to watch him, Thomas found. When he was lost in concentration, trying to get the shading just right, a signature crease between his eyebrows and his tongue slightly sticking out.

More often than not he found himself staring at the pretty boy, involuntarily imagining what else this tongue could do, what his plumb lips would taste like. Until Aiden looked up, met his gaze and both looked away. This game of cat and mouse would repeat itself a few times until one of them would excuse himself and leave. It was suffering of the sweetest kind and Thomas wouldn't want to have it any other way.

What exactly he was drawing so arduously Thomas seldom found out, because Aiden was shy to share his art. He had seen drawings of Iris, Lord Roberts dog, napping in the sun. A drawing of Daisy, the kitchen maid, had found it's way on the kitchens wall, framed and all, for she was very proud of it. Other than that the contents of Aidens sketch book remained a secret. As many things about the young lord did.

Even after weeks Aiden still hadn't chosen a valet and not only Thomas was desperate to know why. It was not only about the promotion anymore, Thomas wanted to spend more time with the boy. Aidens habit of hanging around the servant quarters was nice, otherwise he only saw him while serving dinner, but Thomas wanted more. He wanted to be the center of his attention.

Some would say that this infatuation of his was bordering into being unhealthy but Thomas didn't care. He had been lonely and cold for so long and Aiden was warmth personified.

Unlike other nobles he actually looked at him. For most people servants tended to fade into the background after some time, but Aiden noticed him whenever he entered or exited a room. It felt like a rush being seen like that and Thomas didn't want it to end.

It was one of the slower days when Daisy asked the question nobody else dared to ask.

“Why don't you want a valet?”, she asked out of the sudden. “Don't you want to reconsider? It makes Thomas so awfully gloomy.”

Thomas almost choked on his coffee at her words and Aiden shot him a surprised yet amused look.

“Is he now?”, he asked in an innocent tone, but the grin that formed on his lips belied him. “I'm truly sorry about that, but it's an order from Mama. I can't do anything about it.”

Thomas patted dry what his coffee had soiled, trying not to look at Aiden, who was still looking at him.

“But every lord has a valet, no?”, Daisy dug deeper and Aiden sighed.

“Let's just say, if Mama would allow anyone to help me get dressed, it would be a maid.”

Aidens voice was chipper but his tone made clear he did not want to talk about it further. Daisy however did not catch it.

“But only women get dresses by maids. And you are a man.”, she said, not noticing how Aidens face darkened.

“Well, Mama disagrees.”, he murmured. “Probably thinks I'm a changeling, too...”

The mood had shifted and Aiden had lost interest in talking about anything at all. He emptied his up and excused himself to return upstairs. Thomas eyes followed him leaving. He furrowed his brows and tried to make sense of what Aiden had said but he came to no conclusion. Daisy huffed in frustration.

“I don't get it.”, she said but Mrs. Patmore was having none of it.

Thomas left them and walked outside while lighting a cigarette. He leaned against the arched entryway of the court yard and pondered in peace, until O'Brian joined him.

“What do you think that was about?”, she asked ready to gossip.

“Don't know.”, he answered truthfully. O'Brian watched him, waiting. He hollowed his cheeks while taking a drag of his cigarette, enjoying the tension he created. He knew she expected him to snoop around or thought he already did, was waiting for him to tell her what he had found out. When she realised he wouldn't spill the tea, she pulled a face and left.

Thomas grinned quietly to himself. It was always fun to annoy O'Brian and nothing annoyed the woman more than not knowing things. He had the feeling that Aiden McTavish became a gift that just kept on giving.

#downton abbey #thomas barrow #fanfiction #flokileroux #flokiwrites #gay male character #trans character #aiden mctavish #writeblr #creative writing #authors on tumblr #lgbtq #thegancanaghfic

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 5

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Aiden walks the walk of shame but a single piece of clothing gives him away.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: As you may have noticed when I began writing this story I had no idea where all the rooms were located inside the Abbey. Now I saw some blueprints of the castle, but for the sake of the plot I ask you to just accept this layout of the rooms. :D

Chapter 5 - Is that Thomas' robe?

When Aiden woke up, he noticed a few things that felt off. Firstly he heard the jarring sound of an alarm beside him, that fortunately stopped after a few seconds. Secondly the sheets felt different to what he was used to. Aiden couldn't yet make sense of it and to be honest he didn't want to. Not when the bed was warm and comfortable and the world outside of it so cold and cruel.

Fingers ran through his hair and he believed to hear a deep voice talking to him. Groaning he cuddled up closer to the warmth beside him.

Downton used a nice detergent, he noticed after a deep breath through his nose. It reminded him of sunny days and trips to the sea. But among the familiar scent he also noticed traces of soap and... smoke? Aidens memory bombarded him with pictures of long fingers and red lips around a cigarette and suddenly it dawned him.

As if hit by electricity he jumped backwards and almost fell out of the bed, if it wasn't for Thomas' arm that held him. For a few seconds they only stared at each other, both pair of eyes widened in shock. Aiden could hear his heart beating in his chest.

Without a word he left the bed, almost hyperventilating, as the red heat crept up behind his neck. He covered his face with his hands and peeked through his fingers at Thomas, who looked at him, still in shock and somehow hurt. He sat there, struggling to find the right words.

“I'm... I am so sorry.”, he said breathless. “This is your room... How did I even-”

Aiden cussed quietly. Uncle Robert would kill him. He would kill him and send his body back to his mother as a lost cause. And he would fire Thomas, or worse, get him arrested and there was nothing he could do for him, because he would be a dead body in an unmarked crate on his way to Australia.

“You... You couldn't sleep and... you fled the storm.”, Thomas said eventually and cleared his throat. “You passed out and I.... I could not leave you outside and believe me, I didn't plan to... you did not let me... and I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this.”

“No, Thomas, look at me.”, Aiden interrupted him, putting his hands on Thomas face. “It's fine, alright? It's fine.”

Thomas looked up at him with hurt in his eyes, as if he tried his hardest not to cry. This was a completely different Thomas, to what Aiden had seen until now. He knew the arrogant Thomas, who behaved like he was better than anyone else, because honestly, he was. He also knew the cocky Thomas, always teasing and trying to rile up people for fun. And there was happy Thomas, possibly the truest to himself, smiling and proud and kind. This Thomas however looked so much younger and hurt and watching him broke Aidens heart.

“All is well.”, he said with emphasis, caressing Thomas' cheeks with his thumbs. “We are friends, right? So no big deal! I passed out and you took care of me, that's what friends do. It's fine.”

Aiden retreated his hands and Thomas let out a shuddering breath. The man looked like he would freak out any minute and honestly, so was Aiden. He tried to distract his anxious mind by thinking up a plan to return to his own room, without getting caught.

“What time is it?”, he asked and Thomas turned to look at the alarm clock.

“Quarter past six.”, he said. “The others should still be asleep.”

“They better be. If someone sees me here, we are going to be in trouble.”

Aiden rubbed his arms to fight the cold and suppressed a shudder. The storm hadn't worn off yet and it was eager to find even the smallest crack in the walls to blow through. The bed creaked as Thomas moved.

“Here.”, he said softly and laid a robe over Aidens shoulders. The young lord could feel the warmth of his body behind him. Even after Thomas retreated, the touch of his hands lingered.

Slowly Aiden turned around and remembered the night of his first cigarette. He remembered his piercing grey eyes and his knowing smile, as if Thomas had known how hard Aidens heart was beating. Now he looked almost afraid.

I want to kiss him, Aiden thought.

“I have to go.”, he said instead and left, before he would do something very stupid.

The corridor was dark and empty. Aiden sneaked along the hallway and past two doors until he reached the chest of drawers that put him in his situation in the first place. He shot the piece of furniture a dirty look and walked on, when suddenly a voice rang out.

“Lord Aiden? What are you doing down here?”, Daisy asked, walking around the corner, a coal bucket in her hand. Aiden felt his heart stop.

“Good Lord, Daisy!”, he cussed. “Would you wear a bell or something?”

“I'm sorry! I didn't mean to give you a fright.”, she said and stepped closer. “But what are you doing down here?”

Aiden needed an excuse, quickly.

“I... um...”, he stuttered helplessly. “I have a migraine! And I wanted to see if Mrs. Hughes has something for it... Yes...”

This was perfect! There was not a soul who hadn't noticed how much Aiden suffered under his lack of sleep. It was only natural that he had developed a headache because of it. Daisy however furrowed her brows.

“You are looking for Mrs. Hughes? Here?”, she asked confused and Aiden groaned internally.

Here, namely the mens quarters, were not the place to find her, obviously.

“I may have gotten lost a little, taken the wrong stairs.”, he said. “You know, it's hard to think straight with no sleep and a splitting headach-”

“Isn't that Thomas' robe?”, Daisy interrupted his explanation and Aiden opened and closed his mouth like a fish on land.

“Of course not!”, he denied and snorted. “Why in Gods name should I be wearing... Mrs. Hughes!”

The housekeeper, still in her nightgown, looked up in surprise, when she spotted the young lord.

“Lord Aiden, are you unwell? What are you doing down here?”

Aiden left Daisy and her investigations behind and gladly followed Mrs. Hughes out of the quarters. She indeed could help his made up pain and she kept her questions to herself, which was even better. He politely thanked her, before returning upstairs, happy to have escaped.

“Aiden?”

Lady Luck truly wasn't on his side today, he thought and wondered what he had done to deserve this punishment.

“Sybil?”, he replied and turned around to his cousin, who had just left her room.

“Why are you up already?”, she asked with a yawn and stretched. Aiden blinked.

“I have a headache and went to ask Mrs. Hughes for help.”, he repeated his half-truth, rubbing his forehead for emphasis. Sybil watched him a few seconds before a grin appeared in her face.

“Is that Thomas' robe?”, she asked, grinning even wider when she saw his face heating up.

“What? No!”, he denied. This couldn't be happening.

“Are you sure?”, Sybil asked sceptically and stepped closer. She took the collar of the robe between her fingers and bend down to smell the fabric. “So you started to smoke inside your room, hm?”

Aidens mouth opened but no word came out of it, while his face went redder every second.

“Okay... I'll give you that one.”, he sighed eventually. “How did you even recognize this thing?”

Sybil started to giggle and jumped up and down like a school girl. Aiden couldn't help but smile watching her, because honestly, he didn't feel differently. Now that the shock had worn off all that remained was a mixture of excitement, nervousness and an emotion Aiden neither could nor wanted to name.

“Shhhh...”, he tried to call her down. “Do you want everyone to know?”

“So you were with Thomas Barrow?”, she asked snickering. “Over night?”

“Yes, but it's not like you think.”, Aden justified. “Thomas and me... We did not... We are not... You know...”

Sybil gave him a knowing smile.

“Aiden, look.”, she said in a low voice. “I know... the whole Abbey knows that Thomas is... not a ladies man. It's the worst kept secret of the house, after you perhaps.”

Aiden looked at her confused.

“Oh don't look so surprised!”, she snorted. “I am well aware of what a man like Thomas would like to do with someone like you, if he had the chance.”

Aiden shook his head, trying hard not to imagine what Thomas would do.

“No, I meant it.”, he said in earnest. “It wasn't like that. I couldn't sleep because of this damned storm. I haven't slept in days and it's so awfully loud up here.”

“So you went downstairs to cuddle?”, she asked grinning. Aiden sighed.

“No, and even if I was, I didn't make it till there.”, he said. “I ran into a cabinet, woke up Thomas and then passed out. In the middle of our conversation.”

A short moment they said nothing, before Sybil sighed.

“At least he did help you sleep.”, she said in a dry tone, shooting her cousin an innocent look. Both did burst out laughing.

“Of course did he help.”, Aiden said. “Have you looked at this man?”

“Not as thoroughly as you did, apparently.”

“Sybil!”

“What are you two up to?”, they heard Edith's voice from down the hall.

“Nothing!”, they replied in unison, causing Edith to furrow her brows.

“Is that robe new?”, she asked eventually and Aiden lifted his arms in frustration.

“Oh come on, Edith. Not you too.”, he resigned and entered his room, leaving a laughing Sybil and a confused Edith behind.

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 3

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: How to not get fired after stuffing the face of your lord with pastries. Asking for a friend.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: I love scones and appearantly Aiden does too! Why I am talking about scones? Well, read the chapter and find out!

While I'm at it I want to recommend the Cream Scones from the Downton Abbey Tea Cookbook. These are so good, I swear... <3

Chapter 3: In scones we trust

A typical morning at Downton Abbey usually looked something like this.

The first to wake up were Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, followed by Thomas and Mrs. Patmore. The latter would wake Daisy to send her to tend the fires, while the maids did clean the common rooms. They would prepare breakfast for the lords and ladies, who were awake by now, before they ate as well. As soon as breakfast was finished and Lord Robert had said what needed to be said on that particular morning, Aiden would venture downstairs. He would join them in the kitchen wishing a good morning, to Thomas before anyone else, and stay until it was time for lunch.

Today was different. Aiden didn't show up after breakfast, neither did he after lunch. When he finally made his way downstairs, a leather bag clutched between his fingers, he did it with a frown.

What he planned to do could very much turn out to be a horrible idea, he knew that. But his situation left him no other choice. There was a rumor about him and though the truth was no less scandalous, he wanted to set things straight. If he was to be shunned he wanted it to be because of his own decisions and not some misunderstanding.

The servants stood up in reflex when Aiden entered the lounge with quick steps. A habit they couldn't or didn't want to shake, no matter how often he asked them to.

“I have indeed brought shame into my family in one way or another.”, he said, while putting down the bag onto the table. “But me bringing drugs into this house is a lie I can not and will not accept.”

Daisys eyes widened in fear and she looked like she was on the brink of fleeing.

Approximately a week ago Daisy had caught him in a very compromising situation which she unfortunately had misinterpreted in the worst way possible. She told Mrs. Patmore, the cook told Mr. Carson and Carson eventually told it Lord Grantham who had a word with Aiden about the usage of drugs in his home. Aiden was able to explain the situation rather easily but now he had to fix the damage and stop the rumors.

“I think you all know what rumors I am talking about.”, he said and looked around. Some of the maids had the decency of looking away in shame. “I'm not mad. I just want to set things right.”

With a practiced hand he opened the leather bag and began to unpack its contents. A few ampoules of glass, some syringes and antiseptic found their way onto the table.

“Daisy, do you remember our conversation about the reason why Mama won't allow me to have a valet?”, he asked and the kitchen maid nodded. “Well, I didn't plan to tell any of you, at least not so soon, and I probably shouldn't...”

Aiden stopped and closed his eyes for a second. This was harder than expected.

“The last time I visited Downton... I was around six year old back then...”, Aiden said and glanced at Carson to his left. “Mr. Carson perhaps can remember.”

“I do.”, he confirmed, a strange tone in his voice. “My lord, you don't have to-”

“Back then I was known as Lady Aine McTavish.”, Aiden finished his story, ignoring Carsons interjections.

Silence befell the room as everyone tried to process this information.

“I don't expect you to approve my decision, enough people don't, I just want to say...”, Aiden licked his lips. “These are no drugs, it's medicine. I take them once a month and I talked about it to both my doctor and priest.”

Aiden took a deep breath and refused to look into anyone's face. They said one would feel better after getting things off ones chest, but he felt even worse. He had lost a good amount of people through this, he feared history would repeat itself today yet again.

Before he arrived only the family had been informed about his condition, besides the servants who had already known him as a girl. They had chosen not to tell anyone else on purpose. People tended to react unkindly. In a few seconds, when they all understood what Aiden was, they would judge him as well. He did not fear anything beside hurtful words, he was a lord still... or a lady for that matter, but he wouldn't be able to show his face downstairs anymore. Neither would they want him to. Aiden tried to mentally prepare himself for what was about to happen. What had already happened so often.

“But you look nothing like a lady.”, Daisy said eventually, when nobody dared to speak. Aiden sighed.

“This medicine... corrects some parts of my appearance, though not everything. If I look like a man to you, it did its job.”

“So you are no lord then?”, O'Brien asked with a poker face. Aiden couldn't have spoken more than a handful of words with her until now. She was a nosy woman, always listening and watching too closely for his taste. But she was friends with Thomas, it seemed, so Aiden didn't mind her much.

“Technically I am not even a lady.”, Aiden sighed, still anxious. “Mama disinherited me, title and all.”

“Does her ladyship knows about this?”

“Of course, it's been the reason why I got sent here after all.”, Aiden confirmed. Not that the cat got out of the bag, he could may as well be honest. His reputation was already ruined beyond repair. “Mama hoped that some time in the kingdom would set me straight.”

Thomas inhaled loudly before lighting up a cigarette, pondering. Aiden couldn't help but look at him. He wouldn't get the chance to look at him for a long time, he thought. But when Thomas looked up and met his gaze, he saw neither anger nor disgust in his eyes. He merely blinked at him, his brows furrowed and lost in thought. Aiden felt like he was about to cry.

“His lord- and ladyship don't seem to want to set you straight.”, Thomas said after a while, blowing out some smoke. “Everyone calls you by your correct name and title.”

Aiden escaped a breath he was not aware of holding in.

“No, Granny supports me and must have spoken to Uncle Robert.”, he said. “But he is not happy about it.”

Thomas kept staring at him, though Aiden wasn't so sure if he wasn't staring through him instead. He looked down to his hands, which held the leather bag in an iron grip, trying to conceal their shaking.

“Well, I suppose the rumors are taken care of now.”, Carson said, touching Aidens shoulder as an act of consolation. “We appreciate you telling us about this and I only think it's fair if we respect your decision and lifestyle. As strange it may appear to us.”

Carson meant well, but his words misses their mark. If there was something worse than people insulting him it was people who pitied him.

“I don't want to bother you further.”, Aiden said with a hoarse voice, quickly gathering his utensils. “You must be busy.”

Without another word he hurried back upstairs. Aiden felt sick. It was the same feeling he had felt, when his mother had caught him cutting his own hair. Or when she noticed his voice changing. He did not want to know what she would do if she knew what else he had done to his body.

He closed the door behind him, after entering his room, and carefully placed the bag on his desk. Groaning he let himself fall backwards onto his bed, rubbing his face.

If only Daisy hadn't seen him, nothing would have had to change. But she had seen him and things had changed the moment he decided to spill his secret. Now he feared that his beginning friendships with Daisy and Anna would change and the way they would treat him. And even worse, Thomas would change the way he looked at him.

xxx

Thomas' days had become dull after Aidens confession. The young lord had withdrawn entirely for the last three weeks but Thomas still perked up whenever he heard steps coming down the stairs. Aiden not only skipped his daily visits downstairs, he seemed to actively avoid Thomas, because whenever he served upstairs the young man was nowhere to be seen. He did neither attend lunch nor dinner, he didn't join Thomas smoking and he seemed to know secret passages through the Abbey even Thomas wasn't aware of. He might as well have been moved out as far as Thomas knew. Not even today, when Lady Cora had invited the Dowager Countess for tea, he did show his face.

Thomas missed him. He was fully aware that Aiden did not owe him his company and that it was highly unnatural for a noble to spend so much time with the servants anyway. But Thomas had gotten used to his presence. He missed their little talks, he missed Aidens smile first thing in the morning and he missed being looked at like he was more than just a simple footman. Aiden had become a dear friend to him. A friend he very much liked to kiss, that was.

Before Aiden, he had never heard about people who switched their gender or, as Anna had phrased it, were born into the wrong body. To be honest, he had been confused and obviously couldn't relate, but he could imagine the struggle of trying to keep it a secret. Like homosexuality it was very much illegal to show oneself as a man whilst born being a woman, at least officially. In documents Lord Aiden would always stay Lady Aine, no matter what he looked like or as whoever he introduced himself as. As long as he didn't try to marry a woman or claim an official title as a lord, he should be safe, if he was careful.

Spilling his secret to the servants had been a massive token of trust and Thomas understood that the boy must be anxious about them thinking of him as foul. So he had gone to the library to do some research.

He had not found much, obviously, but there had been one particular story that he found most impressive. In ancient Greece they told a myth about a woman named Caenis, who was abducted by the god Poseidon. He raped her but eventually granted her a wish as compensation. She only wished for one thing, for her body to be turned into a man. Poseidon did as she, no, as he wished and he gave him an impenetrable skin as well. Some scholars argued that he did only ask to become a man, so nobody could ever rape him again, but Thomas knew all to well, that being a man did nothing to prevent being raped. Not today and certainly not back then.

In conclusion, people like Aiden were as old as time itself, just as people like Thomas had always existed. He had thought long and hard about it and with every day without him it became clearer: Aiden was Aiden, no matter what he had been known as before. Now he only had to tell him that.

What brought him back to his problem, because Aiden was still nowhere to be found.

The Dowager had left already and Thomas was busy clearing the table, when he spotted a plate of miniature scones. Aiden loved scones, but he hated raisins, so Mrs. Patmore had taken to baking the small cakes without them. In fact, she was baking them only because she hoped they would lure the young man back into her kitchen. But at first he had to know that these scones existed.

Thomas decided to not take the plate back downstairs, but instead went to place it in front of Aidens door. He did not knock, Aiden wouldn't likely be in his room anyway, but bent down to place the plate on the ground. The plate had not yet touched the floor, when he heard the door open.

“Thomas!”, Aiden exclaimed loudly after nearly running into the footman, who quickly straightened his back. “I'm sorry, I-”

“I brought you scones.”, Thomas interrupted him. Aiden began to fidget, trying to look anywhere but at Thomas' face.

“Thank you, but that really wasn't necessa-”

Thomas took a scene and stuffed it into Aidens mouth, successfully silencing him.

“They are made without raisins.”, he said as a matter of fact. “If you want more, come down into the kitchen. Mrs. Patmore made plenty.”

Aiden looked at him, mouth full and frozen like a deer in the headlight, and Thomas used his inability to speak to disappear. With quick steps he went down the corridor, hands sweaty and collar suddenly way too tight. He had underestimated how much he missed the man. Suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore, if it would be beneficial for him that Aiden might be going back to spend his time in the servants lounge. Not if Thomas kept behaving like that around him. He had to get a grip on himself and not let show his growing feelings for the young man.

But more important, nobody must find out that he had stuffed a lords face with pastry.

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #fan fiction #flokileroux #flokiwrites #thomas barrow #writeblr #writing community #creative writing #lgbtq

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 10

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: When Thomas returned, Aiden was gone.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Chapter 10 - Home is where the heart... isn't?

When Thomas Barrow returned from war, he was a changed man.

He was a sergeant now and whenever people saw him, they looked at him in awe and nodded a silent thank you for your service. The war was nowhere near finished and every man who came back now, had been somehow injured. Some had lose an arm or both legs, some had lose their entire face, forever scarred into being unrecognizable. Thomas had seen it all.

People looked at him the same way they looked at those poor souls, with pity and an unconcealed gaze to his hand. Sometimes he felt like that was the only thing they saw, not even looking at his face while delivering their condolences. They didn't know that Thomas had wanted this injury, that he actively sought it out so he could come home, alive and back to the man that haunted his every dream. Back home to Aiden. They didn't know, but Thomas felt like there was a giant sign pointing at his hand, screaming at them to look at this coward. He took to hiding it whenever he could.

When Thomas Barrow returned from war, Downton Abbey was a different place.

The once mostly empty rooms now where filled with military officers, recovering from their wounds, while the common soldiers had to make do with the crowded halls of the villages hospital. Lady Sybil had become a proper nurse, buzzing around between the beds, trying her best to ease her patients suffering. Her eyes lit up, when she spotted him entering what once had been the tea room. Her smile didn't last long though.

“Where is Lord Aiden?”, Thomas asked after greeting her sincerely. Sybil hesitated to answer, her eyes turning awfully sad.

“I'm sorry, Thomas, I truly am.”, she said softly, as if she knew that her next words would break his heart. “He went back to Australia.”

Thomas felt his heart sink hearing her speak. He swallowed nervously, trying to hide the feeling of doom that sat heavily in his stomach.

“Why?”, he asked, hoping to sound more indifferent than he actually was failing at it. Sybil knew him too well. Sybil knew.

“His grandmother, Lady Eithne, died and he went to attend her funeral.”, she explained, a hint of worry in her voice. “That was over two months ago. He didn't come back and we haven't heard from him since.”

“I see.”, Thomas said, struggling to keep his posture. Sybil squeezed his arm in a comforting manner before turning back to her work.

This had been a month ago. Since then, no word from Aiden.

Thomas had started to scan the newspapers for articles about sunken ships, the sinking of the titanic still in mind, but found nothing. There hadn't been any riots in Melbourne either, which could have explained, why Aiden could not return and the cold arm of war was not long enough to reach Australia just yet.

Misfortune had found its way to Downton Abbey it seemed. Almost a month after Thomas had returned, the former footman William returned in a condition much worse than him. The Sergeant now working in the abbey as a medic, had done what he could, but still the boy was to die. His death threw a shadow over Downton. Mr. Matthew, having returned with poor William, had lost control over his legs and as soon as he had been able to walk again, the Spanish flu had taken his fiancee.

The war had ended eventually, but Aiden was still missing. Thomas couldn't accept the possibility, that maybe he would never come back. He checked the news with desperation, ears perking up whenever the telephone rang, even eavesdropping his lordships private conversations, in hope to get the tiniest sliver of information. But there was nothing. Month after month passed and Thomas grew more depressed with each of them.

xxx

Downton had changed. Daisy had been working in this house as long as she remembered, but the house had never felt so empty before.

Gwen was long gone, now living her dream of becoming a secretary. Since then she had seen new maids come and go on a weekly basis. Thomas, now Mr. Barrow, had left for war, but returned safely, differently than poor William, who died only a few hours after she had married him, out of pity. She still felt bad about that one. He had been substituted by Mr. Molesley, the butler of Lady Isobel. Lady Sybil had run off to Ireland with Tom Branson and Lord Aiden still hadn't returned.

Daisy missed the young lord. She missed his visits downstairs, she missed his weird Australian slang he sometimes fell back into and most of all she hated how his absence affected Thomas. The footman had been marked by the war, an unsightly wound in his left hand he covered with a leather glove. He tended to hide it under the table so nobody could look at it. He had been hopeful at first, that Aiden would need some time to mourn his grandmother and that would return someday soon, but that day never came and after five months of absence Thomas seemed to have given up.

He talked less and if he did, he snarled with even more bite as usual. The rest of the time he just sat there, staring apathetically into the void while working with automated movements. It was like a dark cloud was hanging over the abbey.

Daisys gaze wandered to the drawing of her that Aiden had drawn ages ago.

“Who drew that?”, Ivy asked. The girl had started working at Downton as the new kitchen maid, now that she became a cook herself, and Daisy didn't like her one bit.

“That's none of your business.”, she spat out, angrily stirring the soup. Jimmy, one of the new footmen stopped shuffling his cards and looked at her surprised.

“Now Daisy, do you have an admirer?”, he teased her, making Ivy laugh. The cook made a face. She knew Jimmy was a flirt but she did not approve how much Ivys behaviour hurt Alfred.

“No.”, she said snarked and Mrs. Patmore chided her quickly.

“That's Lord Aidens work.”, the cook said and wistfully viewed the drawing. “Oh, it's a right shame he is gone...”

“Why, is he dead?”, Alfred asked and Thomas almost spit out his tea. He didn't say anything, but his face showed how angry he was about the comment.

“Good lord, I hope not.”, Mrs. Patmore said quickly, eyes widened in shock. “He went back to Australia to attend a funeral and hasn't returned yet. I'm sure you young folks would have liked him, he was a nice young man.”

Thomas put down his cup, his jaw clenched and face made of stone, stood up and hurried out of the kitchen. Daisy watched him leave, silently sighing.

“What was that about?”, Jimmy asked confused, abandoning his cards for now, having moved to make way for the fleeing footman.

“He must be worrying himself sick, that's all.”, Mrs. Patmore said and paused peeling potatoes. “You must know, Thomas and Lord Aiden were very close. I'm not sure what he'll do, if we don't hear from his lordship soon.”

She sighed, turning to her potatoes again.

“What was he like?”, Ivy asked, probably excited to hear a story about a mysterious lord, she would develop a crush on later, not knowing she would never know the whole truth.

“Oh, he was kind and humble.”, Mrs. Patmore said smiling. “And he lit up the room like no other. He lived a quite turbulent life, difficult relationship to his mother, but he was a pleasure to have around.”

“Was he pretty?”, the kitchen maid asked, blushing already. Daisy didn't want to imagine what would happen, if Thomas heard her speak.

“He is pretty, very much so.”, she replied, correcting the tense of her question. Lord Aiden wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

“Ah, I see.”, Jimmy teased her, raising one of his brows. “You are the admirer, Daisy.”

“I'm just stating the facts.”, she replied, nit even looking up to him. “I'm not interested in men like him. Neither is he interested in me.”

Mrs. Patmore looked at her smiling, when she noticed her using almost the same words, she had once said to her, back then, when Daisy had been crushing on Thomas. He wasn't for her, neither was Aiden. In fact, both men weren't for anyone else, than each other.

xxx

It was a Tuesday, Thomas remembered, when Aiden McTavish returned.

He had been in the study, returning some trivialities he had cleaned off the dust, when he heard the door bell ring. Carsons heavy steps had shuffled towards the door, then there was a gasp followed by clattering and a cuss.

Intrigued what was happening the footman had ventured into the hallway, where Carson had tried to support the young lord by his arm, but he was having none of it. Aiden had ripped his arm out of the butlers grip, swaying backwards. He had mumbled something about nobody touching him and scurried upstairs, not looking at Thomas once.

Aiden had not said a word to him since. He had not come downstairs like he used to and Thomas only ever saw him at the dinner table, where the young lord avoided his eyes. He was quiet, only spoke sparingly and he always seemed to be slightly drunk now. Thomas was sure of that, now that he had caught him stealing alcohol from the wine cellar.

“Does Lord Grantham know that you are emptying his storage?”, he asked and Aiden almost dropped the bottle he was holding. He was awfully skittish lately, Thomas found. Whenever someone moved too suddenly, the boy seemed to jump.

“Does Carson know that you are ambushing innocent lords?”, he shot back, making a face. Aiden looked so much younger than before, yet so much more tired. His skin was paler and dark circles had formed under his eyes. He never smiled nowadays.

“I heard about your grandmother.”, Thomas said. “You have my sincerest condolences.”

Aiden nodded, but did not reply. Thomas moved closer and Aiden backed further away.

“Have I done something wrong?”, he asked, desperately wanting to know why Aiden treated him like this. Aiden looked up to him.

“No!”, he said quickly, his hand twitched, as if he wanted to reach out, but he didn't. “No.. you have done nothing wrong. I...”

Aiden stopped. He bit his lips, burrowing his brows like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. He sighed, seemingly in pain.

“I don't... I'm sorry, Thomas.”, he said, shaking his head. “You have to believe me, I am sorry, but... I can't...”

Thomas reached out for him, to hug him, comfort him, but Aiden backed up.

“Please don't...”, he said quietly, covering his face with one hand. Thomas dropped his hand, just staring at him, his eyes full of hurt. Lord McTavish had returned to Downton Abbey, but Aiden, his Aiden, hadn't made it back, it seemed.

“As you wish, my Lord.”, the footman said eventually, bitterly bowing to him. “I'll leave you to it.”

With quick steps Thomas hurried outside, through the back door behind the kitchen and out into the courtyard. With an angry grunt he hit the wall with his fist, ignoring the sharp pain that went through his wound. With tears burning in his eyes, he cursed the war, the McTavish family and most important, himself. Why did he let himself fall for a lord, as if he didn't know better? The boy was young and wanted to upset his mother, of course he would hook up with a willing servant like him. And willing he had been, desperately so.

He struggled to light his cigarette with how hard his hands were shaking. How could he have been so careless?

“Did the young lord break your heart, Thomas?”, he heard a female voice behind him. Startled he turned around, trying to keep his composure but knowing it was far to late for that. O'Brien looked at him with a sick kind of pity.

“Took you long enough.”, She said and stepped closer. Thomas made a face disgust.

“What do you want?”, he spit out. “I'm not in the mood to play.”

The chamber maid was not impressed by his bite and simply stood next to him, crossing her arms.

“I wanted to warn you, but I see it's not necessary any more.”, she said, looking at him from her side. “The young lord received the most thrilling news, just this morning.”

Thomas took a drag of his cigarette, waiting for her to elaborate, but she didn't speak further. With a roll of his eyes, he took the bait.

“And what news would be so thrilling?”, he asked, slowly blowing out the smoke. O'Brien smiled deviously.

“He got engaged.”, she said, smiling wider when she heard Thomas coughing up smoke. “To a man too. A petty little fellow from a low family. Probably desperate enough, to accept the shame a wedding like this will bring him.”

“How do you know that?”, Thomas asked with a hoarse voice.

“His lord- and ladyship discussed it this morning.”, she said. “The marchioness seems to be beside herself with joy. Having her daughter back and all.”

“I think he made it clear enough, that he is anything but her daughter.”, Thomas disagreed, unhappy about the fact, that he still defended him. O'Brien scoffed.

“Let him be whatever he thinks he is, the fact is, he is getting married.”, she said. “And the man he marries is not you, Thomas. You better accept the fact, that he lost interest in you.”

Without another word she left him, ignoring the daggers his eyes glared into her back. With a defeated sigh Thomas stubbed out his cigarette. It was time to face the facts, whatever Aiden had seen in him, apparently he did not see it any more. To him, like anyone else, he was just another footman. And apparently Aiden McTavish was just another lord.

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 2

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Aiden likes what he sees. Daisy does not.

Read the whole story here or on under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: Happy St. Patricks Day!

For those of you, who haven't yet had to chance to google who exactly the Gancanagh ist, fear no more. This wicked fairy is known to be a 'love talker', able to seduce both men and women alike. He is one of the more sinister creatures in Irish mythology, causing his victims to desperately fall in love with him, so when he grows tired of them and leaves, they are reduced to husk of their former selves, stopping to eat, to drink and to sleep, pining away for their lover, who never actually loved them.

But don't worry, there won't be the actual Gancanagh causing problem for these two idiots, though you can say both of them are the Gancanagh and both of them are the victim, to each other.

Chapter 2: Absolem and the Cheshire Cat

Aiden McTavish had been living at Downton Abbey for almost two months now. He had been furious when his mother sent him off to Yorkshire, not wanting to leave the city he had learned to call home. It was Melbourne where his friends were, where it was warm and sunny and the ocean was close. He did not want to leave Australia for a country where it was always cloudy and the society were dryer than the air in Perth.

Now that he was here it wasn't too bad, he found. It had been a long time ago, since he last stepped foot into Downton and it was nice to see the Crawleys again. But what Aiden found the most interesting did not lay upstairs but in the servants quarters.

Aiden did not spend much time with his mother these days and the only alternative to her had been their butler Darby and the cook Audrey. He was thrilled that there were so many people working in the abbey. There were not only a butler, but footmen, a housekeeper, maids and lots of hallboys. To feed all of this mouths not only a cook was needed but a kitchen maid as well.

Both of which were the reason why Aiden had fled the kitchen to take some fresh air outside.

The courtyard was dark and empty, except for one figure, leaning against the back of a carriage. Shrouded in shadows Thomas Barrow lit a cigarette, the flame painting his face in an orangy glow. He hollowed his cheeks as he took a drag and let the lighter disappear in his pocket. Aiden found himself staring at the man, all cheekbones and pale skin, when Thomas spotted him.

Piercing grey eyes seemed to paralyze him as Thomas locked eyes with the young man and slowly blew out the smoke. Aiden felt trapped, like it was the Gancanagh who stood in front of him instead.

“Do you smoke?”, Thomas asked and offered him the lit cigarette. Aiden blinked.

“No.”, he said and stepped closer. “But might as well start now.”

He came to hold mere centimeters before the footman. Hesitantly he took the cigarette out of his fingers, not without touching them for a brief second. With shaking hands he brought it to his mouth.

Aiden had no problem with a smoking, quite the contrary in fact. One could say he had found a certain fascination with watching Thomas smoking to be honest. What bothered him was that the cigarette had been hanging between his lips only seconds ago. Those damned cherry red lips. Aiden tried to think too hard about it, took a deep breath and tried his luck.

He had barely taken a drag as he felt cold fingers caressing the back of his knee. He shrieked as his knee bent and almost choked on the smoke that filled his lungs. Coughing he tried to regain his balance and shot Thomas an accusing look. Thomas only laughed.

“What the...”, Aiden uttered still coughing. His lungs were burning and tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes. Even worse, it felt like Thomas' hand was still on him.

“I'm sorry...”, he said apologetic but couldn't hide his grin completely. “I didn't expect you to jump like that. I only wanted to help with your... breathing technique.”

“Did work I'd say.”, Aiden muttered with a strained voice. His heart was beating out of his chest. He passed the cigarette back and stepped closer again, though still suspicious.

“What are you doing out here anyway?”, Thomas asked. “Certainly not to have a smoke?”

Aiden wrinkled his nose.

“No, Mrs. Patmore is making liver and I can't stand the smell.”, he said. Thomas lifted an eyebrow.

“So you flee into the pleasant fragrance of cigarette smoke?”

“Could be worse.”, Aiden replied. “You could be smoking clove cigarettes.”

He took the once again offered cigarette and took a drag before looking up. He found Thomas already staring. Thomas tended to stare at him quite often, Aiden had noticed. He did it most often, when he was drawing, looking at him completely unabashed until Aiden could not ignore the tingling heat that was creeping up behind his ears. He was a pretty boy, Aiden knew that and many others back home had noticed it as well. But few had ever shown it so bluntly.

Thomas plucked the cigarette out of his hands and Aidens eyes followed it to his mouth. He licked his lips, like he usually did and Aiden may or may not have sighed watching it. He wasn't sure if Thomas knew what it did to him.

“You look like you like what you see.”, Thomas said, suddenly bold and blew the smoke right into his face. Aidens eyes flickered back to his. He panicked.

“You look like the asshole caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.”, he shot back and Thomas showed him a face of utter confusion. He almost wished he had his sketch book with him.

“Well you look like the Cheshire Cat.”, Thomas replied after a few seconds which made Aiden grin exactly like that grinning cat. “See?”

“Great now we roast each other with book characters.”, Aiden nodded. “Very mature.”

Thomas smiled and for once it was an honest smile. Aiden could see the crows feet around his eyes, that never showed themselves when Thomas faked it. He finished the cigarette and let the remains fall to the ground, stepping on it. His gaze returned to Aidens face and they both knew there was no excuse to stay, yet neither of them moved. Until Carson struck the gong for dinner.

“If you'll excuse me, Mr. Barrow.”, Aiden said and implied a bow, before stepping away slowly. Thomas did not follow him.

“I'll see you at dinner.”, he said instead and Aiden turned around smiling.

“That you will.”, he confirmed before retreating into the house. He just hoped he had enough time left to calm down, before his reddened face would result in unwanted questions.

xxx

Daisy didn't want to look, she really didn't. At least that's what she told herself, after curiosity won over common decency and she found herself peeking through the half opened door to Aidens room.

She had been on her daily tour to rekindle the fireplaces when strange noises alerted her. She went over and she swore she didn't want to look but she did and what she saw let her stop in her tracks. Lord Aiden was not yet gone to eat breakfast like his cousins, instead he stood in the dark of his room and seemed to struggle with something.

Daisy inched closer to the door. His lordship carried something in his hand, which she couldn't quite identify yet. If he would only turn around... Aiden sighed pained and did exactly that. With a jolt he pushed down his pants to his knees and sat down. Daisy covered her mouth in an attempt to quieten the shriek she couldn't stop herself from making.

Aiden didn't hear her. He took a deep breath and lifted the item in his hand, the syringe, as Daisy now realized, dramatically reflected the faint light. With shaking hands he placed the injection into his upper thigh, all while making a face that showed anything but pleasure. Once empty he discarded the utensil with care and took a shuddering breath. He rubbed his eyes with a groan and turned up to stand again.

Daisy hurried away from the door, right into Lady Sybils room. With eyes as big as saucers she tried to understand what she had seen, waiting until she could hear his footsteps leaving the corridor.

The kitchen maid peaked out of the room and watched Lord Aiden walking down the stairs as if nothing had happened. She had only two rooms left to fire up and Aiden wouldn't be in the kitchen before the servants finished their breakfast. A small frame but enough time to tell Mrs. Patmore what she had seen whilst they were alone.

xxx

“Mrs. Patmore, do you have a minute?”, Daisy asked as soon as she entered the kitchen.

“What is it, Daisy?”, the cook snapped, busy tending the oven. “Can't it wait?”

“I fear not, Mrs. Patmore.”, she said quickly. “I have seen something, I should not have seen, I think.”

Mrs. Patmore stopped in her tracks and looked at her.

“What are you talking about, girl?”, she asked confused. “What happened?”

Daisy looked around. Thomas was sitting at the table in the servants lounge, reading the newspaper while O'Brien went to bring a tray upstairs.

“Not here.”, the kitchen maid said. “Follow me, please.”

She led Mrs. Patmore away into the boot room, where she could talk freely.

“Daisy, what happened? Spit it out already!”, Mrs. Patmore said who was getting impatient. Daisy took a deep breath.

“I was upstairs tending the fires and I swear I wasn't peaking but the door was open and I might have seen Lord Aiden using drugs.”

Mrs. Patmore blinked at her a few times in utter disbelieve, before she spoke.

“Daisy, do you know what you are saying?”, she asked. “This is a serious accusation and a against a lord that is...”

“He just sat there, in the dark and he had a syringe and he injected something into his thigh!”, Daisy described. “And he didn't look like he enjoyed it much. I am worried.”

Both woman perked up when they heard Aidens voice, speaking to Thomas next to the stairs. Daisy shot Mrs. Patmore a panicked look.

“Daisy, listen.”, the cook said strictly. “You say nothing and I will have a word with Mr. Carson. He will know what to do.”

“Alright, Mrs. Patmore.”, Daisy replied unsure. She followed her into the kitchen and tried not to be seen by his lordship, who was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, talking to Thomas.

Thomas was smiling an awfully lot recently, she found, and he was only half as mean to everyone as usual. She watched the footman standing proudly next to the young lord, smiling with his chest stretched out like a courting bird. And suddenly it dawned her. Mr. Thomas Barrow was sweet on this man.

It fell like scales from her eyes when she understood what Mrs. Patmore had meant by saying Thomas was a lost soul. Not for women he was, but for men indeed. And Lord Aiden seemed to reciprocate with the way he tilted his head and was smiling at the footman. Daisy had been mighty proud that his lordship had chosen to draw her but she knew in his sketch book had to exist more than a dozen pictures of Thomas. And who could blame him, the man was gorgeous.

The kitchen maid felt ill all of a sudden. If Mr. Carson learn about what she told Mrs. Patmore, would he tell his lordship and sent Aiden away? Did she involuntarily destroyed this only just blooming love? Would she be the one to break Thomas' heart, the man who was so dear to her? Oh no, she thought to herself, what had she done?

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[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 8

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Attention, readers? This is your captain speaking: Smut ahead! I repeat: Smut ahead!

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: Listen, children, this is your friendly trans guy speaking. I have some important advice for you. You find them in the author notes section here.

Chapter 8 - Hummingbird and Nightingale

Aiden kept his promise and soon Thomas learned that nowhere was safe any more. Whenever he got the chance the young lord ambushed the footman walking down the hallway or during whatever job Carson had given him that day. Most of the time he left it at a chaste kiss or a fleeting touch when they met like this, stopping before anyone would see, but sometimes he didn't and with every time Thomas feared his heart would gave out with all the adrenaline that rushed through his body.

Just yesterday, while Thomas had carried a tray of pastries, Aiden had kissed him right on the mouth, in the middle of the stairs, out in the open for everyone to see. He had been left, standing frozen on the spot and visible shocked, only moving when William complained about him blocking up the way upstairs. Even his lordship had commented on his confounded state.

Thomas wouldn't lie, he loved the attention the young lord gave him, as risky as their encounters may be. Every kiss, every touch they shared made his hear sing, validating that, contrary to everything the world had said about him, he was not foul. How could he be, if Aiden loved him? How could it be a sin, if he never felt closer to heaven, than in his presence? It was the thought of Aiden that carried him through the day, no matter how bad Carsons mood would get, no matter how bad the higher-ups would treat him, Thomas had captured the heart of Lord Aiden McTavish, as Aiden had captured his, and no one could take that from him.

A smug smile spread over his face as he walked down the hallway back downstairs. The dinner had been uneventful or maybe Thomas only thought that, because he didn't listen to the conversations any more. His attention had been lying on Aiden and only on him, even as he rounded the table to serve soup.

Thomas feared the day when they would get discovered. Lord Robert would never accept his nephew nursing a relationship with a footman, no matter how supportive his lordship had been until now. One of them would have to leave, if he'd ever find out, and considering that Aiden was family, it probably would be him. It certainly wasn't the first time his employment had been on thin ice.

But nothing had happened yet, they had been careful and Thomas did not intend to get caught.

The footman did not notice the person coming up behind him, until two arms sneaked around his middle, causing him to stop in his tracks. His heart skipped when he felt a body press up against his back.

“Now I know where all my scones ended up.”, Aiden said with a muffled voice, patting the soft stomach that hid behind Thomas clothes. Thomas frowned, trying to look behind him.

“Did you just call me fat?”, he asked, causing Aiden to make a disapproving sound.

“No, not fat, just soft.”, he replied. “Perfect to cuddle. 10/10 would sleep on again.”

With a gentle smile he let him go and Thomas turned to face him. Slowly the young lord reached for the tray he was still holding, taking it out of his hands to put it down on the low sideboard next to them. Intrigued what he was up to, Thomas watched him with a risen brow.

“I just had a wonderful idea.”, Aiden said while stepping closer, fumbling with the lapels of Thomas jacket. “As you know, Uncle Robert isn't home tonight and Cousin Matthew is in Manchester, which leaves me all alone in the west wing.”

Thomas licked his lips not even trying to hide the grin that was forming on his face, when Aiden looked at him through his lashes, approximately as innocent as the devil himself.

“Oh no, what a terrible faith.”, he said, eyes darting to the pink plumb lips in front of him. “Whatever will we do about it?”

Thomas had never been in Aidens room, not since the young lord had moved in. Aiden however had spend plenty of time in Thomas room. After he had more or less unintentionally stumbled into his chamber and into his bed the first time, the boy had made a habit to sneak downstairs into the servants quarters at night. Fortunately Thomas didn't have to share his room, like other servants did, so Aiden could come and go as he pleased, taking advantage of the fact that his insomnia seemed to be cured only by Thomas presence.

And Thomas loved the fact that he had this effect on him. He loved that Aiden trusted him so much he let him hold him in his sleep, that his presence calmed his mind in a way that let nightmares vanish. And though he desperately wanted more, the stolen kisses and wandering hands had to be enough. Not for everything in the world Thomas would have wanted to frighten the young man off, so he mostly reverted to handle the rising problem in his southern region himself if it occurred. Despite his drunken state in that night behind the pub, he vividly remembered the way Aiden had reacted to his touch, his blown pupils and the way his breath had shuddered with every caress of his hand. He had no doubt that Aiden felt as desperate as him and only waited for the young man to make a move. And he really hoped he would make it soon.

Aiden cocked his head to the side, his hands wandering to Thomas shoulders.

“Terrible indeed.”, he said, standing on his tiptoes to meet his lips in a soft kiss. “If there only would be someone who would be interested in staying with me, lest I have to spend the night so terribly, terribly lonely.”

Thomas groaned as he pulled him closer by his hips, the risk of getting caught forgotten. Aiden grinned as the footman captured his lips again.

“See you after my shift?”, he asked against the young lords lips, mustering all of his self control to step away. Aiden followed him, slightly dazed, before clearing his throat and too taking a step back.

“If you'd like.”, he said with a wink before reaching for the tray. “You should take these to the salon, before the ladies get impatient.”

Thomas let their fingers touch as he took it from him, wanting to linger only a little longer, but faith had different plans.

“Thomas, what is taking you so long?”, he heard Carsons voice from behind him. The butler walked over to them, just now seeing Aiden holding the tray. He sighed, visibly upset.

“My Lord, isn't it enough that you spend your time in the servant lounge?”, he said giving him an disapproving look. “Do you have to work like one now too?”

“Don't worry, Mr. Carson.”, Aiden replied smiling, letting go of the tray for real. “I would never.”

With a last smile, he turned to leave. Thomas' eyes followed him. He couldn't wait for the evening to be over.

xxx

Aiden had the feeling that he would lose his mind any second now.

Thomas and him were playing this game of cat and mouse for over three months now, seizing any chance they got to steal a kiss or a quick touch of hands, but Aiden still hadn't gotten the footman where he wanted him to be. That would be in his bed, preferable naked and between his thighs.

He had gotten to the part of having him in a bed at least, though there had been way too many clothes involved. There would have been an easy way to change that, but every time he wanted to initiate something, he remembered what his body looked like, what parts he was lacking and promptly lost all bravery he had mustered up to this moment.

It was ridiculous, he knew that. Thomas was aware of his situation and he hadn't uttered any complains about it by now. And if it turned out that he could not work with what Aiden had to offer, than it would be better to know it sooner than later, but still, Aiden feared the rejection.

In a braver moment during this day, he had finally put his money where his mouth is and had invited Thomas into his own room for a change, pointing out that nobody would be there to see or hear them.

Thomas' reaction had been... something. The young lord had have his problems to not jump him on the spot with the sound he had been making. Just this morning he had injected his monthly does of testosterone and as always, the surge of hormones had left him bothered, to say the least. Not the best time to plan a secret tryst, when his genitals were more involved in the planning than his brain.

The bravery had long faded, being replaced with worry and inner tension. Aiden had bathed and changed at least twice already. He had cleaned up the mess of his room, his bed was made and the dozens of drawings he had made of Thomas' stupid pretty face were neatly hidden inside his writing desk. There was nothing else to do that to wait and it slowly drove him mad.

A small part of him wished, Thomas would not come. That he would be held up by his duties or simply forget about his offer but naturally life had no mercy on him. Only a second after his plea, there was a faint knocking on his door.

Fuck my life, he thought to himself, as he stood up to open the door. With a deep breath he wiped his sweating hands on his trousers and turned the key.

Thomas still wore his servants clothing and had taken up his usual posture, straightened back and lifted chin, looking down to him with parted lips. Aiden had never thought he had a thing for uniforms, he certainly had never noticed Darby having such an effect on him, but maybe it was just Thomas being tall, dark and handsome, as they said. With his long, slender fingers and cherry red lips, that he still couldn't believe weren't lipstick. It just wasn't fair.

“Aiden?”, Thomas finally spoke and the young man realized how long he had been staring at the man. “You should breath now.”

The young lord released a breath he didn't know he was holding and gesturing him to come inside.

“Are you feeling unwell?”, Thomas asked worried as he stepped into the room. He waited for him to close the door before he came closer. “You look like you're nursing a fever.”

He put the back of his hand on Aidens forehead, trying to feel his temperature, when the young man almost whined at his touch.

“Yeah... maybe not kind of fever...”, he commented, exhaling slowly. Thomas let his hand slide over Aidens head, stroking through the short red locks, before stopping his movement at his nape.

“Oh...”, he muttered to himself, as Aiden bared his neck, releasing a shuddering breath. “What got you all hot and bothered?”

“Medicine... and you.”, Aiden muttered, eyes falling close as Thomas scratched his nails over the back of his neck. “Mostly you, though...”

Thomas hummed watching him getting pliant beneath him, snaking an arm around his middle to pull him close. Almost out of reflex Aiden put his hands to the mans shoulders, digging his fingers into the fabric.

“In this case I must insist on strict bed rest.”, the footman said with a deep voice. “Are I'm going to stay right here to make sure you feel better.”

He let his hand wander downwards to grab a handful of Aidens plumb ass, making him jump.

“No!”, the young lord objected, after failing to suppress a moan that surprised himself, lightly pushing Thomas at his shoulders. “I mean, yes please, but...”

Aiden grimaced as he tried to find the right words, while Thomas hands came up to cup his face.

“We don't have to do anything, you don't want to.”, he said reassuring, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You can trust me. What's bothering you?”

“You haven't yet seen, what you are dealing with.”, Aiden admitted, avoiding to look into his eyes. “You may not like what I am, I'm afraid that you may not be willing to work with... that...”

Thomas put a kiss on top of his head, before pulling him into a hug.

“I can work with this just fine, thank you.”, he said. Aiden could hear the smirk in his voice. “And I have a faint idea, what I am dealing with. Don't you think I never tried my luck with women.”

“I am no woman.”, Aiden muttered, face pressed against Thomas' chest.

“I know, you're not.”, Thomas confirmed. “You are a man, no matter what I'd find inside your knickers.”

Carefully Aiden peeled himself out of Thomas embrace and sighed.

“I'm sorry, that I am making this so damn complicated.”, he said, but Thomas only looked at him with an adoring expression.

“Listen, if you changed your mind, just say the word and I'll leave.”, he said, massaging one of the young lords hands between his. “But if you didn't, then please let me take care of you. Let me see you. I want to make you feel good.”

Aiden felt his heart beating out of his chest and goosebumps spreading under Thomas' touch and he ached. With new ignited arousal he surged forward to capture the mans lips in a desperate kiss, that quickly got reciprocated. He moved, walking Thomas backwards to the bed, pawing his clothes off on the way. The footmans jacket vanished first, followed by his vest and Aiden even managed to open his starched shirt, before they hit the bed frame.

Thomas looked up at him, hair dishevelled and lips bitten red, heavily breathing. He had toed of his shoes at some point and Aiden was glad that he hadn't bothered to dress himself properly to begin with. With hungry eyes he scanned the sight before him, pale skin and dark hair that went from his chest all the way down into a happy trail.

The young lord climbed in Thomas lap, attacking his lips with bruising kisses again as his hand found their way into the raven hair. They both let out a moan, when Aiden pushed his hips down into the other mans lap, feeling the throbbing erection through his trousers. Thomas almost clawed at Aidens ass, encouraging him to do it again. He whined as he rolled his hips again, chasing the pleasure he could not quite get like this. Thomas seemed to sense his trouble.

“Mind if we switch?”, he asked, kissing down Aidens neck, who only nodded.

“Please do.”, he said breathlessly, only a second before Thomas pulled him up by his thighs, causing Aiden to cross his feet behind his back. With a grunt he threw the young man on the bed, trying not to crush him with his weight. Aiden gasped when his back met the sheets, a rush of adrenaline surging through his veins.

Thomas hands had found the rim of his under shirt, pushing the fabric up and over Aidens head, throwing it behind him where his own shirt was laying, discarded long ago. Soft fingers danced over his sensitive skin, leaving goosebumps in their way, caressing the thin silver lines under his pectorals. The man admired them silently, like he did in the night at the pub, before placing a kiss onto the trembling chest underneath him.

Aiden felt dizzy as Thomas began to place open mouthed kisses on his body, slowly moving downwards and he was glad that they decided to lie down for this. He wasn't sure if he could trust his legs, which felt like made out of jelly.

“Are you still with me?”, Thomas asked with a hoarse voice, looking up to him, his hands already hovering over the hem of Aidens trousers. Aiden nodded with closed eyes.

“I'm not going anywhere.”, he said, opening his eyes just in time to see Thomas smile at him.

“I certainly hope so.”, Thomas replied, massaging the dip of the boys hip. “But just say the word and I'll stop.”

Aiden swallowed hard, the throbbing in his clit had started to become painful and he feared, if he had to wait any longer, he surely would die.

“Please just go on already, will you?”, he whined, causing Thomas to growl as he hurried to open and slide down the young lords trousers. Aiden wiggled his hips to help him, feeling how wet he had become already and when he heard Thomas gasp for a change, he could imagine what he saw.

A thumb slid over the wet spot that had built up at the front of his underwear, making him keen.

“Thomas...”, he whined impatiently and the footman quickly slid down the bothersome clothing as well. Aiden did not look at him and squeezed his eyes shut instead, bracing for the worst.

“Well, if this isn't the most pretty little cock I have ever seen in my life.”, Thomas said after a moment, causing Aiden to groan and cover his face with his hands. “And a boycunt too, all wet and ready for me.”

The man scooted back up to face Aiden, red faced and threatening to die of embarrassment. Carefully he peeled the young mans hands from his face, kissing the heated skin.

“Please look at me, love.”, he said, mouth hovering over trembling lips. “You are doing so well.”

Aiden opened his eyes and looked up into pools of darkness. Thomas' pupils were blown so wide that the black had almost swallowed the icy grey of his irises. His eyes were glassy and feverish.

“You are beautiful and I can certainly work with what you have to offer.”, he said smiling softly, while brushing a lock of hair out of Aidens face.

“Are you sure?”, Aiden asked insecure, causing Thomas to let out a breathy laugh.

“Very, see?”, he confirmed, rubbing his still clothed cock against the young mans thigh. “Still very hard and willing to continue, if you'll let me.”

Aiden felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up as relief flooded his heart. Ignoring the tears that began to spill down his cheeks, he grabbed the face of the man above him, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Thomas Barrow, you make my heart sing.”, he said in between kisses, making Thomas smile as well. “Among other things, that is.”

Thomas smile grew wicked as he kissed his way down his body.

“Oh, I'll make you sing, just you wait.” he said promising and Aiden wasn't even given a chance to reply before he went and put a kiss right on top of his throbbing t-cock.

“Oh my-”, Aiden brought out, biting down on the knuckle of his finger. His hand found Thomas' head, fingers combing through his hair and nails scratching his skin, as Thomas ate him out.

He was glad that they were alone in the west wing, because his hand did nothing to hide his moans, not while Thomas treated him with the same accuracy and diligence he usually displayed at work. This was nice, very nice indeed, but it wasn't quite what he needed.

“Thomas...”, he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and tried not to crush the footmans head between his thighs.

“Yes, love?”, he replied and Aiden almost regretted opening his eyes again, because the way Thomas looked at him made him wish he had a camera at hand. His skin was flushed as his own, juices dripping from his chin as he waited for his lord to speak. His breaths were heavy. “Tell me what you want.”

“More...”, Aiden moaned, suddenly feeling way too empty. “Please... I need more...”

Thomas swallowed hard before licking his lips and for a short moment Aiden felt really proud to have this effect on him, at least until the man made an effort to leave him.

“No... don't leave me like that...”, Aiden whines and tried to pull him back by his shoulders. With still teary eyes he tried to focus on the face in front of him. “Don't leave...”

Thomas groaned painfully, as the young lords movement caused his still clothed erection to rub over his stomach.

“I need... I need to fetch the jelly.”, he said, gasping as Aiden fumbled to open his trousers, slipping one of his hands inside. “I don't want to hurt you.”

Aiden was shaking his head angrily.

“Honey, I'm going to hurt you, if you don't hurry up.”, he joked, starting to stroke Thomas cock, which had been neglected for too long already. “You said it yourself, I'm wet and ready, only for you, Thomas...”

The man moaned into the kiss Aiden gave him, rutting erratically into his hand.

“Get off your trousers and on with it, I'm begging you.”

“You're going to be the death of me.”, Thomas laughed breathlessly into his ear, while reaching into the trousers, removing the young mans hand. “Now let go of me, so I can prepare you. I want to do this properly.”

With a kiss he forced him to lay down again, wiggling out of his remaining clothes, without leaving the bed. Aiden locked his arms behind Thomas' neck, whimpering when a long slender finger entered him. It slipped in with ease and soon a second finger followed. He crooked his fingers, making the young lord moan loudly, as he kissed the sensitive spot behind his jaw.

Aiden knew he was utterly ruined, because for one thing the mans fingers reached places inside him, that his own would never reach and for the other, he would never be able to look at Thomas hands again without having a minor crisis.

“You are so pretty like this.”, Thomas said when Aiden opened his eyes, he found him already looking. He hovered over him, face open and more vulnerable than Aiden had ever seen him before. He lifted a hand to cup the mans cheek, wondering how he deserved someone like Thomas. The man was so much more than just a pretty face in serving, he was proud and gentle and witty and every time he entered the room he left Aiden breathless. The young man feared his heart would overflow with all the emotions he was feeling for him, not only because he was currently three fingers deep inside him.

“Thomas...”, he moaned, lifting his hips to grind against his hand. “Please...”

“Yes, love, I know.”, Thomas replied, kissing away the tears that rolled down Aidens face. “I've got you.”

The footman removed his fingers slowly, using the wetness between them to slick up his cock, before lining himself up with the needy hole that Aiden so desperately wanted to have filled. The young man furrowed his brows, trying not to tense up too much at the intrusion, while Thomas let out a more than filthy moan, moving slowly inch by inch.

He stilled his movements once fully sheathed inside, giving both of them the chance to adjust. He breathed heavily, eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration.

“Thomas.”, Aiden said with a shuddering breath, searching Thomas hand to lace their fingers together. “I think I love you.”

“Is that a question or a statement?”, Thomas asked confused, still not opening his eyes. Aiden watched the way his eyes moved behind his lids, how blush covered almost his entire face and how his whole body shuddered with the touch of his hand.

“Statement.”, he sighed.

“Good...”, Thomas replied, snapping his eyes open and staring right into Aidens. “Then we are on the same page.”

With a desperate kiss he started to move, drinking up the moans that spilled from Aidens lips. Thomas wasn't any quieter and the way he failed to find a proper rhythm told Aiden that he was close. The young lord was almost sobbing now, because with every roll of his hips, he not only felt Thomas deep inside him, but also his stomach dragging over his swollen t-cock.

“Please tell me you are not going to get pregnant, if I-”, Thomas began, seemingly only yet realizing that Aidens body was special indeed, but the young lord cut him off quickly.

“Don't worry, s'not going to happen.”, he groaned, trying to pull him even closer. “Just keep going exactly like this.”

It wasn't long after this, when Aiden came with a strangled moan, probably leaving nasty marks on Thomas back and with the clenching of his insides, Thomas followed soon.

His arms gave in, having trembled for too long already, and shortly after he pulled out of his body crashed onto Aidens, burying him underneath. The young lord didn't complain, but embraced the feeling of the warm body all around him. He would have crawled under his skin, if he had been able to.

Aiden sneaked an arm out from under him, starting to comb through the messy black hair. Thomas squeezed his hand in return.

“Honey? I don't mean to bother you, but I really need to use the toilet.”, the young man said after a while, still patting the footmans head. “And to fetch a cloth for you.”

Groaning the man rolled to the side, still breathing heavily, recovering from his orgasm.

Aiden walked into the bathroom next to his room, trying not to make too much of a mess, he didn't want to explain in the morning, and did what had to be done. As promised he grabbed a wet cloth on his way out.

Thomas lying on his bed, utterly spend and naked, was a sight to behold. His skin was red and blotchy and his hair stuck to his face, sticking out in weird angles. His chest lifted with every breath, moving the soft belly beneath. Aiden tried to burn this picture into his retina.

The man twitched when the cold cloth touched his skin, but Aiden worked carefully removing the evidence of their passion before it would dry.

“You don't have to do this.”, Thomas murmured, though making no move to stop him. He just lay there, pliant and comfortable, as Aiden wanted him to.

“No, you took care of me and now I take care of you.”, he replied and continued his work, maybe more thoroughly than was really necessary. He felt Thomas eyes followed him, when he put the cloth on the shelf next to the bed and went to cuddle up to the man.

“Before you say anything, you may stay as long as you like.”, he said, propping up his head on Thomas chest. “Preferable until the morning. I have an alarm clock and my room is two meters away from the stair case that leads to your quarters. It will take about 7 minutes to get there, maybe 5 considering you don't have to explain your presence in the servant quarters.”

Thomas looked at him wondering, sceptically furrowing his brows, when Aiden started to stroke his fingers through his chest hair.

“You are not throwing me out?”, he asked and Aiden gave him an offended look.

“Of course not.”, he replied. “I'm not keeping you hostage either. All I say is you are welcome and wanted to stay.”

“Then I'll happily stay.”, Thomas said, snaking his arm around the man beside him, when Aiden laid down again. “As long as you'll have me.”

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 7

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: Aiden lives to disappoint. Thomas feels bold.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: After every disastrous you are supposed to get drunk and smooch, I don't make the rules.

Chapter 7 - Touchy Feely

The dinner lasted five whole minutes before it got utterly ruined. They hadn't even sat down to eat, in fact, it was enough for Aiden to enter the room to throw the mood down the abyss. After ten more minutes, in which Lady Moira had chewed him out thoroughly, they finally went over to the dinner table.

Carson opened the dinner and the look Thomas gave him while serving, told Aiden that he had indeed heard her statement very clearly. Aidens face told him in return something along the lines of I told you so.

“I have to say, the tuxedo suits you well.”, Lady Cora tried to lift the mood, after everyone had fallen into an awkward silence. “I heard it is a quite complicated outfit, I hope you did not have too much trouble with it?”

“Thomas helped me.”, Aiden replied smiling whilst Thomas almost dropped the bowl of potatoes, he was offering Lady Isobel. The footman shot Aiden a frightened look while correcting his posture.

“How kind of him.”, Mary commented, but Lady Moira seemed to disagree.

“First you wear these clothes and then you let a footman dress you?”, she asked and looked at Thomas horrified. “Is there nothing sacred to you?”

“No, Mama, there isn't. I jumped him right after, over there in the hallway! I'm surprised we mad it back on time for dinner.”, Aiden claimed sarcastically. “For Gods sake, Mama. He is a valet! Dressing people is his job.”

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mary trying to hide a grin behind her napkin. Sybil and Edith did the same with a glass of wine. Matthew tried to conceal a laugh through coughing. Carson quietly ordered William to continue serving, after the poor boy had stopped in his tracks to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Valets dress lords.”, Lady Moira hissed furiously into the silence. “And you are not one.”

“Obviously not, after you disinherited me.”, Aiden murmured and stabbed a carrot.

He did not look up but he could feel her eyes like daggers on him.

“I have never heard the name Aine before.”, Lady Isobel said in a cheerful tone, trying to ease the awkwardness. “Is it a shorter version of Aiden?”

Lady Moira looked like she had bitten into a lemon as her gaze wandered over to her.

“No it is not.”, she spit out. “It's the name of my daughter, even if she does not accept it.”

Lady Isobels eyes shifted confused over to Aiden who only sighed.

“Mama doesn't accept that she no longer has a daughter, but a son.”, he explained, while cutting his beef and Lady Isobels face lit up.

“Oh, how interesting!”, she beamed. “During my work at the clinic I met many men who secretly lived as women. How brave of you, to live it so openly.”

“Men living as women? How unconventional.”, Lady Violet commented. Meanwhile Carson passed the gravy.

“I have to admit, I would have never guessed.”, Matthew said with an approving smile. “Astonishing what modern medicine is able to do nowadays.”

Aiden shot him a thankful smile.

“I'm surprised myself.”, he said. “Who would've though I could look like that.”

“Seems like the little rascal, who terrorized our nanny, grew up to a proper young man.”, Lord Robert said with a wink. “Who still does terrorize our servants.”

Aiden saw Sybil grinning knowingly, but chose to ignore her.

“I can't believe how calm you are about this.”, Lady Moira got het up, putting down her silverware. “This is a nightmare. No man would ever want to marry a woman who pretends to be a man!”

“Oh yes...”, Aiden snorted while lifting his glass. “Because you have so much expertise with men who don't want to marry.”

“Aine!”, she scolded him loudly. “Your behaviour is unacceptable!”

Aiden slammed his glass back onto the table.

“No, Mama.”, he argued back with a strained voice. “The only one with an unacceptable behaviour is you.”

Without another word he stood up. The legs of his chair screeched loudly over the floor.

“Where do you think you are going, young lady?”, Lady Moira asked, when he went to leave the room. The young man turned around angrily.

Tonights dinner had shown him once more what a horrible woman his mother was. She must have understood that her plan would not succeed, not after the Crawleys had encouraged his behaviour. She would want him to return to Melbourne with her, to stop him from embarrassing her further and then she would find another way to force him to change. Aiden took a deep breath and straightened his back.

“I intend to go out.”, he said composed. “I will change in less formal clothes, then I will go to the pub and drink until I forget this catastrophic evening.”

If looks could kill than Aiden would have died on the spot with the way his mother looked at him. The marchioness lifted her chin and turned her whole body into his direction. With the last remaining authority she could muster she spoke to him.

“I will not allow it.”

Aiden didn't blink.

“I don't care.”, he replied. “You are in no position to stop me. And just so you know, I rather drink myself to death tonight, than spend one more second in your presence. Just like Papa did.”

xxx

“I can't believe Carson let you out during a night we have guests over.”, Aiden said, leaning back in his chair. The pub was well attended and the mixture of alcohol and the heat of so many people made him sweat. It had been a good idea to swap the tuxedo for a thin cotton shirt.

“The guest won't stay over night.”, Thomas replied. “And he figured you gave me quite a shock with your comment about us shagging in the broom closet.”

The footman had also changed into something more casual than his usual uniform. His jacket however had soon found it's way over the back of his chair as he had decided to roll up the sleeves of his shirt. A cigarette in hand he sat leisurely in his chair and shot Aiden a teasing smile.

“Yeah, about that...”, Aiden said, while making a face. “I'm truly sorry. I shouldn't have roped you into that.”

Aiden had been furious when he had said it and he didn't think about what a comment like that could mean to a man like Thomas. He hadn't always known that Thomas felt this way, he had hid suspicions, but he had not dared to hope. Only after Sybil told him about this open secret, he actively started to see the signs. How Thomas looked at him, when he thought he wouldn't notice. The lingering touches they shared too often to be unintentional. Aidens heart sang every time it happened, because evidently Thomas not only saw him as a proper man, but also a man worth checking out like that.

“I'm sure his lordship understood that it was a joke to rile up your mother.”, Thomas said. His voice was chipper but a nervous laugh belied him.

“I'm talking to him either way. Right tomorrow morning.”, Aiden promised, leaning with his elbow on the table. “I'm not going to let you get thrown out for something like that. You did nothing wrong and even if we did what I said earlier... There is nothing foul about that.”

Aiden may have had one drink to much, he didn't meant to blurt it out like that, but he said what he said and he meant it. Thomas mirrored the young lords posture and leaned forward.

“I know that.”, he said seriously. “But I wasn't sure how you would think about that.”

Aiden snorted.

“Thomas, as you are aware, I am not precisely in the position to judge.”, he said and used his thumbs to smooth over Thomas furrowed brows. “And now shed those wrinkles of yours.”

With a grin he watched the man trying to hide a smile and failing spectacularly as he leaned back. Thomas put his cigarette back between his lips and avoided his look, seemingly flustered. His usually tamed hair had escaped his pomade prison and fell wildly onto his forehead. The heat around them made his face glow, his skin looked as hot as Aiden felt, a sight that made Aiden feel all kinds of things.

“You're pretty like that.”, Aiden blurted out once again, not even trying to stop himself. “You know, If your mates could see you like that, they'd find you much more approachable.”

“Is that so?”, Thomas asked with a lifted eye brow. “I think, Daisy already finds me very approachable.”

“Oh yes, I noticed.”, Aiden laughed. Poor girl, crushing on the only unavailable man in the house. “She's watching you a lot. I wonder if she noticed you looking... elsewhere.”

This time Thomas did not avoid his gaze. He took a last drag of his cigarette and pondered. Eventually he leaned back in.

“Lord Aiden, may I ask you a personal question?”, he asked quietly and Aiden mirrored him.

“Mr. Barrow, we shared a bed. I don't think it can get much more personal than that.”, he replied. “And would you drop the title already?”

Thomas blinked at him, his eyes flickering between him and something Aiden could not tell, before nervously licking his lips.

“When we shared said bed...”, he began, hesitating. “I assume I know how... the anatomy of a body, of a common body, how it's supposed to... uhm... look like, and I...”

Aidens grin widened as he watched Thomas struggle to formulate his question in a matter that would not offend him, although he already knew what the man wanted to ask.

“And you found me lacking some parts?”, he finished Thomas' sentence. The man breathed out in relief.

“Yes... that.”

Aiden emptied the remains of his beer, before he spoke.

“I'm surprised nobody asked before.”, he admitted, putting down the pint. “Well, to say it simple: down there didn't change much. Up here however, I didn't like what I saw and had it removed.”

Thomas nodded slowly, probably struggling to envision the descriptions Aiden had given him.

“They can do that?”, he asked in wonder and Aiden nodded.

“If you have the right doctor.”, he replied. “I could show you, if you don't believe me.”

The footmans eyes widened as he looked at Aiden in disbelieve.

“Are you sure?”, he asked, leaning back again. Aiden shrugged.

“Sure, I mean, maybe not right now”, he said, gesturing around. “But outside? Why not? We should go home anyway, it's past eleven.”

Thomas watched him, speechless, as the young lord stood up, reflexively reaching for a jacket he did not bring. He turned around and looked at the still sitting man.

“Are you coming or not?”, he asked expectantly and Thomas almost jumped out of his seat following him outside.

The cold air almost hit him when he stepped outside, a harsh contrast to the humidity inside the pub. Thomas didn't know why he had followed Aiden after this catastrophe of a dinner. At least that's what he was telling himself. But of course this was a lie, like everything he told himself regarding his feelings about the young man. He followed him because he wanted to make sure he was okay, and he joined him outside, because Aiden was about to share something personal with him and he was eager to know.

“This way.”, Aiden said, grabbing his hand and leading him into the alleyway behind the pub. He could still hear the music they played inside, but the place were sheltered and dark. If anyone would see them, they would see them first.

“You know, after the surgery it looked really bad, like lord-I-have-to-throw-up-bad...”, Aiden explained while unbuttoning his shirt. “I couldn't look at it for weeks. But now... Now it's just like the real deal.”

Thomas took a deep breath as Aiden opened his shirt, not sure if this situation was really acceptable. But Aiden had offered to show him and honestly, by now it would be just rude not to look, so he did. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but the sight he was now confronted with, was surprisingly familiar. Smooth, pale skin over a flat masculine chest and fair chest hair, almost invisible in the faint light. Nothing unusual to see. He was maybe a bit soft around the belly, Thomas found, but he knew Aiden had a sweet tooth and it's not like Thomas was one to talk.

A silver line under each of his pectorals caught his eye, almost like fish scales they were shimmering in the low moonlight.

“Is this were...”, he started, reflexively reaching out to touch him, but he caught himself in the last second. Aiden nodded.

“Yes, these are scars.”, he said. “I'm glad that they healed so well. You may touch them, they are all smooth.”

Thomas looked up and found him already starring, scanning his face for any kind of reaction. He hesitantly licked his lips and reached out again. It wasn't like Aiden had to beg him to do it.

The young mans breath faltered for a moment when Thomas touched him. His skin was burning but he was right, the scars were smooth to the touch. He felt goosebumps rising under his fingers.

“Your fingers are cold, is all.”, Aiden answered his unspoken question and took a shuddering breath. Thomas unvoluntarily did the same.

“Kintsugi...”, he muttered more to himself than to Aiden.

“What?”, Aiden asked, tilting his head in confusion. Thomas looked up to him without removing his hand.

“The Japanese use gold to repair broken porcelain, to show that a broken thing is not any less valuable, that it was before.”, he explained. “Your scars are just like that. They're in silver though, but still.”

Aiden just looked at him quietly for a long time and Thomas feared he said something to upset the boy, when he finally snapped out of it and cleared his throat.

“This... this is the nicest thing anybody has ever said about my scars.”, he said flustered and turned bright red. The redness did even spread down to his chest, where Thomas hand still lingered. He once again brushed over the silver line before he spoke.

“See, I know this is highly inappropriate, but I'm very drunk and I came so far and I'd very much like to kiss you.”, he said quickly before his rationality would return and looked at Aiden with a look hat he knew must be full of desperation. He could feel the mans heartbeat quicken under his fingers and almost wanted to take back what he said when he noticed Aidens pupils going wide.

“Oh god, please do...”, he positively moaned and Thomas wasted no time.

In less than a second his hand were cupping Aidens face who met him halfway and grabbed him on the lapels of his jacket. Their lips met and time stood still.

Aidens lips were soft and pliant as he moved against them. Where his chest had been hit, his face was burning, and Thomas could feel the heat radiating from him in this close proximity. He would have said his temperature was unhealthy, but he knew that Aiden was a furnace, even more when he was asleep. He had to hide a while sun inside his heart.

Aidens mouth opened with a gasp, when Thomas pushed him into the brick wall behind him, and he used the opportunity for a taste. This couldn't have been his first kiss, Thomas thought, not with the way Aiden bit the mans lip before they parted. Heavily breathing he let his forehead touch Aidens, not daring to open his eyes yet.

“This is not so far away from shagging in a brooms closet, just so you know.”, Aiden whispered, heartbeat like a hummingbird, and snaked a hand in Thomas hair.

“I think kissing in an alleyway, sounds way more classy.”, Thomas replied, making Aiden laugh. “But I think your mother would be distraught anyway.”

“Would you not speak about my mother right now?”, Aiden pleaded, looking up to him. “I thought we had a moment here.”

“Sorry...”, Thomas apologized, giving him a chaste kiss. “I think my brain stopped working approximately a minute ago.”

Around the corner there was a creaking of a door opening and the sudden burst of loud music, as someone exited the pub behind them. Both men jumped away from each other in a haste, before Aiden hurried to button up his shirt again. They waited and listened, the heat of the moment gone and replaced with worry, but no one entered the alleyway. The drunken chatter and song faded away, as the intruder went home and Thomas exhaled in relief.

“Well, as much as I'd like to extend this moment of ours.”, Aiden said, sounding more put together than Thomas felt. “We should go home. If I'm not in my room by breakfast, they will think I actually drank myself to death and honestly that's not a reputation I'd like to hold.”

“What a shame.”, Thomas replied smiling. “Now that I know that we both fit comfortably into my bed...”

Aiden playfully hit his shoulder.

“In this case, you'd be better off expecting nightly visits from time to time, Mr. Barrow.”, he said grinning, smoothing over the wrinkled lapels of Thomas jacket.

“Is that a promise?”

Aiden slowly stepped backwards, coaxing Thomas to follow him home.

“Maybe?”, he said with a devilish smile. “You'll never know.”

#thegancanaghfic #downton abbey #thomas barrow #flokiwrites #flokileroux #lgbtq #fan fiction #writeblr #creative writing

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 4

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: And there was only one bed.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Notes: This chapter was written while my country was terrorized by a massive storm earlier this year. It lasted for days and since we live at the sea... yeah, good times. Unfortunately I had no handsome footman to share a bed with...

Chapter 4: Things that go bump in the night

“Of course I told her that's unacceptable.”, Lady Violet said with a wave of her hand. “Aiden, are you listening?”

Aidens eyes snapped open as he tried to focus on his aunt. He had only rested them for a moment, only a second long.

“Yes, Aunt Violet.”, he said groggily.

“You don't seem to.”, the Dowager said upset. “Say, what are you doing at night? Certainly not sleeping.”

“Not with that awful storm, for sure.”, he replied and tried to stifle a yawn. The old walls of Downton Abbey were shaken by a storm so terrible as Aiden had never experienced it before. It had been two long sleepless nights for the young man, in which he had laid wide awake in his bed, silently praying the next lightning would not hit the roof above him. The wind was howling through every crack it could find, the window panes were shaking with every gust of wind and Aiden had seriously considered to seek shelter in the cellar. Even Isis refused to leave her safe room under Lord Roberts writing desk.

“You could take a nap during the day, dear.”, Lady Violet said. “Naturally, it would be considered rude, but not as rude as falling asleep mid conversation.”

“But who would discuss the horrible accusations Lady Isobel makes against you then?”, Aiden replied, pretending to be scandalized. “You, scamming your way through a gardening contest, what an unkind thing to say.”

Lady Violet scoffed and nipped from her tea.

“I'm surprised to find you upstairs, to be honest.”, she said after putting down her cup. “Whenever I am visiting you are always gadding up somewhere. Cora told me you spend your time with the servants?”

“Yes, I do. They are nice people, so why not?”, Aiden confirmed. “In fact, it's a shame I'm not downstairs right now. I could have scones.”

Aiden thought back to the strange incident that had happened only a few days ago. To be honest, he had been avoiding Thomas. After what he had confessed to him and the other servants he could not bear to look in his face again. He did not want to hear him say to stay away, so he did on his own.

One day, after three weeks of radio silence, Thomas had come to his room, seemingly only to tell him he had scones, stuff one into Aidens mouth and leave. The young lord had been confused above anything else, so much in fact, that ten minutes later, when Lady Mary passed his room on her way to change for the evening, he still hadn't processed what had just happened.

He had followed him downstairs, originally to ask him what the hell though he was doing, but when he entered the kitchen, he promptly forgot why he had come. When Thomas said, Mrs. Patmore made plentyof scones, he had imagined like a dozen, maybe two. Plentyturned out to be more like two hundred. Honestly he wondered where the woman took all the time for that.

But it broke the ice and Aiden returned to pay his daily visits in the servants lounge. He couldn't stop himself though from smearing an eclair into Thomas' face only a few days later. Vengeance and all that.

Thunder was cracking, loud as a cannon ball and Aiden jumped. The first night of the storm he had been annoyed, but he was young and it wasn't the first night he had spent without sleep, although there definitely had been better reasons to stay awake than a doomsday storm. The second night however, he got angry. He was grouchy and moody and ill-tempered and even the tiniest thing would piss him off. If he didn't find sleep soon, he was afraid he would murder someone.

xxx

It was around midnight, when Thomas heard a bump in the night. He was surprised he even heard it, the storm outside had been raging for two whole nights now going on to three and it was so loud, it made his ears ring. He chose to ignore the sound, not wanting to leave the bed, but then he heard someone curse and became intrigued. Carefully he sneaked through his room and slowly opened the door to peek out into the corridor.

A figure stood in the shadows, two doors away from his own, hunched over and quietly cussing against a piece of furniture. Lightning struck the sky and illuminated the corridor for a second, before it went dark again, but it was enough for Thomas to recognize who was standing there.

“Lord Aiden?”, Thomas heard himself ask and the figure looked up. The light of the frequent lightning was enough to see the dark circles under his eyes, as he tried to find him in the dark.

“Thomas?”, he asked with a sleepy voice and straightened his back. “I'm sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No, don't worry.”, Thomas replied, stepping out and closing the door behind him. “What are you doing down here?”

“I can't sleep.”, he said, trying to stifle a yawn. “This godforsaken storm kept me up for the last two days now.”

Aiden rubbed his eyes, while Thomas came closer, not wanting to talk too loud.

“Why aren't you in bed?”

“Because it's too damned loud up there.”, he replied. He seemed to have a hard time keeping his eyes open. “My room is directly under the roof and with every gust of wind I fear my window gets smashed in.”

“I see.”, Thomas replied and noticed with worry, that Aiden began to sway.

“I hoped it would be less loud down here.”, he said, voice slurring. “It is actually...”

Aiden again swayed dangerously to one side and Thomas reached for him in reflex.

“Sorry...”, Aiden yawned. “I'm way too tired.”

“You should do to sleep then.”, Thomas recommended. “You don't look well.”

“No shit, I haven't slept in two days and I doubt I'll be sleeping up there anytime soon, not with that much noise.”, Aiden snorted and supported himself by holding onto Thomas arm. “The boot room has no big windows, so it's probably safer to sleep there...”

Aiden pondered for a second.

“But there is no bed there... Do you think Mrs. Hughes would mind if I slept in her day room?”

“I don't think thats's a good ide-”, Thomas began, when he felt Aiden swaying again. In less than a second his whole weight fell into Thomas grip, as his knees buckled and he passed out.

Startled he hoisted the young man up, undecided what to do.

“Aiden?”, he said, slightly louder than a whisper and patted the mans cheek. “Aiden wake up.”

Aiden did not wake up, not fully, that is. No wonder, if he considered that the young lords face had almost fallen into his coffee this morning. He had been awake for so long, that his body decided it was enough.

“No... you're not the leprechaun...”, Aiden murmured, eyes closed and scrunched up his nose. “You're not green...”

Thomas had no mental capacity to wonder what that might mean, he was occupied with deciding what to do with this situation. He had been dreaming of holding Aiden in his arms, but he didn't expect it to happen so soon or like this, for that matter.

He couldn't leave the man out in the corridor like this, it was cold and uncomfortable and it didn't suit a lord to sleep on the floor in the servants quarters. He could carry him back upstairs, though Aiden weighed more than he had expected, but the walls of the Abbey had eyes and ears. There had to be only one person who saw them. Thomas could not risk it, but staying in the corridor like this was no option either. Thomas room it was then.

He couldn't believe that he was doing this, picking up the young man bridal style and carrying him into his room. This could be so romantic, he bitterly thought, if Aiden was awake and he wouldn't surely lose his job for getting caught like this.

Thomas walked over to his bed, placing the limp body down. He would regret it in the morning, but he was going to sleep in the tiny armchair in the corner of the room. Aiden however, seemed to have different plans. When Thomas lowered him onto the bed and was going to step away, Aiden protested fiercely by holding onto his shirt, refusing to let go. Thomas tried hard not to panic. This had to be either the best or the worst night of his life.

He gave up and sighed. Carefully he entered the bed, trying to keep his distance as much as he could, which wasn't easy in that tiny bed frame. He pulled the thin blanket over both of them and prayed he hadn't made a mistake.

Aiden couldn't know what kind of man Thomas was, he just couldn't. He had been raised differently and there was a chance that people in Australia simply were more open with each other. The things between him and Thomas, the teasing and the stolen glances... they were probably nothing, only wishful thinking on his part. Aiden couldn't know but If he'd find out... Thomas feared the day he would. He also feared the morning, when Aiden would wake up and realize where exactly he was. This had been a very bad idea, he thought to himself.

The storm hadn't yet calmed down and hundreds of raindrops were cascading down the glass of his window. Another lightning struck the sky, quickly followed by the rumbling thunder. The storm had to be right above them now. Aiden jumped at the sound, made a noise of distress and almost crawled inside Thomas chest.

Thomas froze in shock as he felt Aidens breath on his collar bone. His heart fluttered and though the room was cold Thomas felt a warmth blooming in his chest, that got him worried. Tomorrow morning Aiden would flee and never speak a word to him again, but the morning had not yet come. This was maybe his only opportunity.

Carefully Thomas put his arm around the sleeping form beside him, that managed to snuggle up even closer to him, and put a chaste kiss upon his head. Aiden sighed happily and Thomas felt his heart skip a beat. He had known it before, since the first time he laid his eyes on him. Aiden McTavish would be the death of him, one way or another.

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