Empty
Hunter had thought that physical pain and Belos’ disappointment were the worst things that could happen to him. He’d thought the most awful experiences were the ones where he ended up bleeding or bruised or, in the worst-case scenarios, with broken bones that he’d be working with for months until they healed.
He’d been wrong.
Hunter had thought that betrayal was the worst thing that could happen to him. His life, a lie. The man he’d been nothing but loyal to turning on him in an instant. It had hurt worse than a hundred broken ribs, and made it just as hard for him to breathe.
He’d been wrong again.
Hunter had thought that the worst thing that could happen to him was the loss of control over his body. At the failure of mind games and emotional manipulation, the man he’d once trusted paraded his body around like a sick toy, had worn and discarded his skin like a cheap costume.
He’d been wrong.
Hunter had come to the conclusion that the worst possible feeling, the most terrible experience, was loss. Soul-crushing, terrifying, aching loss. The moment when he knew Flapjack was gone forever was the worst moment of his life—and until he lost someone again, nothing else could possibly top that.
But somehow, he still hadn’t gotten it right.
Worse than the injuries, worse than the betrayal, worse than the possession, and worse than the loss was the emptiness that had replaced it. The conflict was over, Belos was gone; there was no more danger. No more heartbreak. There was just… nothing. Hunter had no more tears left to cry. No more screams left to tear out of his lungs. Just a blanket of numb quiet, like someone had put him inside Camila’s TV and turned it to a static channel. At first, the quiet felt better than all the pain and heartbreak, but slowly, it seemed to sap the strength from him.
He still went through the motions. He smiled, he laughed, he talked to his friends. Meaningless conversation, silly small talk that he forgot almost instantly because the weird color Gus’ socks had somehow turned in the dryer was fun to talk about in the moment, made him laugh in the moment, but certainly wasn’t something that needed to be committed to long-term memory.
But once they were gone, once it was Hunter, alone, he was left again with the bone-weary exhaustion that didn’t seem to be in his body. He’d felt this way in the coven sometimes, sure, when he’d been overworked and overstressed, or when he’d had to spend just a little too long trying to convince other coven heads to listen to him and was sick of being around other people, but things were supposed to be different now. These were people he loved, people whose company he enjoyed, so why was he still left feeling so empty? At least before, he’d been able to track the source. Now, it was just… numbness for no reason.
Slowly, the numbness settled in further. It didn’t just creep up when Hunter was alone anymore, it stole into time with his friends. He still smiled, he still laughed, but the Hunter who smiled and laughed was running on autopilot while the real him slipped into that soft, silent numbness. The enjoyment of their company faded into familiarity of a routine. More and more, he talked without realizing, snapped back into a conversation halfway without remembering what had just been said.
He wondered if anyone noticed. He thought he did a good job covering for himself.
On good days, he’d pick up needle and thread and sew, but even the hobby he used to love felt like nothing. A finished product was simply a finished product. Occasionally he still accidentally pricked his finger on the needle, and felt that bright sliver of pain, a blip of emotion in a sea of emptiness. Even more occasionally still, that needle prick sent off a complicated wave of fear and revulsion, his body automatically reacting to the memory of a needle prick that had left him open and defenseless. He’d be left sweating and shaking, sick to his stomach. But at least that felt like something instead of the yawning chasm of nothingness that seemed to be following him everywhere.
Hexside had him up later than he’d been allowed to sleep in the emperor’s coven, but every morning, when Hunter woke up, he already wanted to go back to sleep. To put his body in the same place his mind and heart went, into that calm quiet. Making himself move and care about school was a chore when he fell into that numbness (and now it seemed like he barely climbed out—now, the numbness was the default, with a few bright spots of change). At first he dismissed it as morning sleepiness, but as the day passed on, all he wanted to do was to take a nap, or better yet, just go back to sleep entirely. And on weekends, on blissful, wonderful weekends, he did. He’d sleep and sleep and sleep, until his body wouldn’t let his eyes stay closed any longer, and then he’d lie in bed for another half hour at least before getting up. It didn’t fill him with any more energy to stay asleep that long, it didn’t make the numbness go away, but at least he wasn’t conscious in that cottony nothing. Sleep was the only relief from it.
Darius always looked like he wanted to say something when Hunter finally got up in the midafternoon, his face swimming with concern, but he never did. Hunter got the feeling he was worried about overstepping, or upsetting him. He almost wished Darius would say something, but at the same time, dully thought that it probably wouldn’t help anyway.
So he went through the motions. He scheduled out his day, get up, go to school, play flyer derby, come home, eat dinner, finish homework, hour of allotted time for hobbies or reading, then preparation for bed, and finally slip back into that blissful slumber he’d been looking forward to all day. A strict schedule. If it weren’t for the fact that it would cause worry, and the fact that Hunter felt like he should at least try to enjoy something, he’d skip the allotted hobby time and go right to bed after finishing homework. But some small part of him worried (as much as that numbness would allow him to worry, it was barely even a feeling) that if he slipped and let go of the hobby time, something more important would be next. So he kept the schedule, day after day after static day.
Just one more day
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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Best Friend’s Brother AU
BFB Au
Cleaned up a bunch of doodles i did for this au. In this au:
modern, human, no magic au
boi has raccoon eyes in EVERY universe
boi has flapjack themed socks in EVERY universe
he wears a lot of black. and yellow. but mostly black bc its practical. easy to clean, easy to style. It goes with everything.
Hunter and Luz are siblings. Hunter was taken in before Luz was born
him and Luz fight. A lot. As siblings should
For reasons, the Nocedas move to Bonesborough just before Luz starts high school. Hunter's adaptable he doesn't care
their first day at Hexside, they split since he's 2 years older, and soon Luz becomes fast friends with treehugger Willow and eventually mythology-obsessed Gus
Hunter reluctantly gets befriended by the Blight twins. They're friends now, there's no escape
Hunter got his left ear pierced when he was in middle school. The pain traumatized him so it's just the left. Doesn't get more until 2nd year high school. Can't stand the idea of piercing his right tho. Not sure why
Now a solid friendship, Willow feels comfortable enough to visit Luz's house
Was NOT aware the cute but intimidating new student from school lives here and thinks she's got the wrong house
she doesn't. He welcomes her in, explaining Luz went out for a minute but should be back soon.
They're both pretty shy at first. On Willow's end, they've never talked and this boy is older, not to mention he seems to be friends with Amity's older siblings. Not the best line up. For Hunter, he's only seen her in passing, only heard Luz brag about "my bestie, Willow" this and that. Neither of them have much to go on, but this is his sister's best friend, this is her best friend's brother, and they are gonna make an effort because they love and care about Luz, and they understand getting along is important for her.
So they talk. Small talk, but they talk, slow and a bit awkward as teenagers are. "Oh, what track are you in?" "Into any sports?" "Whats your favorite color?"
Hunter hates small talk and meeting new people is terrifying; it's not so bad bc he recognizes Willow and it's only her, but she notices he's getting more nervous. She opts out of the conversation first, giving him a reassuring smile, "Sorry if I'm keeping you. I'll just wait here till Luz gets back."
And he is NOT having it. How dare this v cute girl come into his house, under his roof and be all considerate and accommodating??? No. No he will not be bested like this.
He waves her off and returns her smile, continuing the conversation with renewed vigor.
Luz returns just as Willow's starts going more in depth about her more exotic plants (she mentioned she has her own little green house at home and Hunter has never been more intrigued). She is v much elated to find her bro and best friend are getting along. Sadly, they have to end the conversation there, and as they part, Hunter going up to his room and Luz tugging Willow to the next room, they exchange a "Nice meeting you!" "You too. See you around..." but it's actually nice and both look forward to the next time.
While they don't hang out at school, they start talking in the halls whenever they pass each other. The Blight twins say nothing when they notice Hunter taking the long route to their next class.
Willow frequents the Noceda household. A lot. In her defense Luz is needy and constantly needs love and affection, so she's invited everyday. But even Luz has a life outside the house, has other friends and school activities to attend to. So she ends up resting at the house like a pitstop, doing homework and stuff, waiting for the bus or for her dads' to pick her up (sometimes Hunter will keep her company)
Hunter falls first in every universe.
BFB!Hunter | BFB!Willow
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