something beautiful
I managed to escape from my hundreds of assignments for a few moments to finish this one for you all, sorry its short :((
♢ Pairing: Kiri x Oldest sister!Reader
♢ Word count: 1.8k
♢ Genre: angst, sibling love, fluff
- Warnings: cursing, talks of depression and insecurity
⌲ Description: Your younger sister is worrying you more for each passing day after the family’s move with the Metkayina.
M A S T E R L I S T
“The fish seem happy.”
With a startled flinch, Kiri found herself snapping out of whatever daze she had been in, sitting on the sandy beach with the water rushing up to meet her lower body and away again as the cycle repeated itself with the current.
She had been so preoccupied with her mind that your presence hadn’t registered until the very last moment.
Something that should be scolded in the current dangerous times, but not for Kiri. Never for Kiri, to be honest.
“There is no fish,” she gave a strange look as you chuckled before settling yourself down beside her with an exaggerated huff.
“Not here, but I assume they are; with them being fish in the ocean and all.”
“You really need to improve your jokes.”
You had heard that one several times already, and simply offered a light shrug in return. Mimicking her gaze, you followed it out to the crystal blue surface of the eastern ocean trying to remain in the obvious silence your younger sister had been busy with.
But patience had never been a virtue of yours.
“So, why are you sitting here all alone?”
Kiri shrugged. “Just felt like it. People got annoying.”
Well then. “Fair enough.”
The sigh mixed with a slightly exaggerated breath coming from you was enough to make Kiri roll her eyes knowingly as you stretched out on the sand beside her, eyes now stuck on the clear blue sky above your heads with the brightness of the sun warming your skin as you squinted up for a moment, one leg bent up to further support your comfortable position before closing your eyes.
And so you waited.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Fiv-
“Out with it.”
You win.
“Hm?”
There was no need on your part to open your eyes to know about her annoyance. It was already clear to you from the shift of her body alone.
“You’re being suspiciously silent. And you’re never silent unless you want something.”
Her words made you grin, but you still refused to look at her.
You could actually get used to this position on the warm sand. A nap would have been delightful in this weather.
“Y/N!”
Oops.
“Sorry, was in my own head there for a moment.”
She groaned a sound you had gotten far too used to since leaving the forest, and especially coming from her.
“Yes I know, so what do you want?”
You clicked your tongue in a slight reprimand, finally turning your head to look at her as Kiri glanced down at you with the familiar I-Don’t-Wanna-Talk-To-You downturned pout of her lips.
“No need to be so grumpy.”
“I said I wanted to be alone.”
“I’m not saying anything, you’re the one making a deal out of this.”
That was certainly not the thing to say, you realized.
“Ugh!” Kiri was about to stand up and stomp away, so you lost the playful facade as you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position.
“Stop, sit down.”
Pausing in a half crouch, you could see the indecisiveness in your little sister’s eyes as they flickered to you and the village in the distance, but as she met your raised eyebrows defeat was quick to follow as she plumped back down with a huff, stubbornly crossing her arms and looking away.
“Good choice,” you straightened up. “So what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Bullshit,” your reply was quick but simple.
“What do you want me to say then?”
“The truth would be nice.”
“Why do you always have to meddle?”
“Hm, I meddle when the situation calls for it, Kiri. You of all people should know that.”
You could see her contemplating, warring for her next actions silently of whether to continue her stubborn teenage act or actually come clean to the one person who could see straight through most of her acts.
“And what situation are you seeing right now?”
Bingo.
Your little sister might have thought herself to be quite clever - not that she wasn’t. Kiri was sometimes far too smart for her own good. She was not someone who was easily roped into Lo’ak’s stupid schemes, neither was she prone to self-destruction like Neteyam sometimes did with the burden of heir on his shoulders. She was the silent, but listening type who had a sharp tongue when it was needed.
There was a reason why your grandmother had found her to be a fitting healer instead of you. You hadn’t been the only one to notice her fascinating connection to everything living around her. The earth, the trees, and the creatures both in the skies and waters.
Eywa had clearly chosen her.
And not a single part of you doubted that it would be for something great.
You just wished Kiri could see that too.
“You are unhappy.”
Her reply was dry, biting almost.“What made you think that?”
You scruffed her head at the cheek on her as she let out a sound in protest of the action. “Don’t be smart with me.”
Another roll of her eyes.
She was really layering on this.
“Just like you, I’m not stupid. Is it because you don’t like the Metkayina?”
”Of course not, they’re nice…most of them.”
There was silent agreement on your part. “Do you miss the forest?”
“We’re Omitikaya, I will always miss the forest.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “Then what is it?”
“Nothing you can fix.”
“I’m not trying to fix you, little sister,” after what seemed like a lifetime, Kiri finally glanced at you for more than five seconds. “I am trying to help.”
“You can’t help something that is not fixable.”
“Kiri,” you shifted up on your knees, facing her with a serious look as you grabbed her slightly smaller hands in yours, stroking your thumbs over her knuckles for a short moment in comfort. “You worry me. Us, our brothers too.”
“You are hardly eating with us these days. Always skulking away for yourself to the point that even Tsireya has noticed something strange. Mom and dad won’t say anything because they don’t want to push you, but at this point you are forcing me to.”
Her head was hanging down, her soft, choppy hair so different in texture from your own covering her eyes as you leaned forward to tuck some of it into the back of her ear.
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
A scared little whisper that shattered your heart into a thousand pieces.
There were many words you wanted to say, to scream even. More than one emotion was circling in your mind; anger, against whoever had managed to make your younger sister so insecure in herself. Sadness, for her to even believe whoever’s words they were. And frustration, at yourself for not making her see the truth earlier.
You didn’t ask for permission as you pulled her into a hug, settling down behind her like your mother usually did for all the children, as Kiri’s form curled into a small ball between your legs, head finding support against your collarbone.
“You are something beautiful, Kiri, special and unique in this large world - do not ever let anyone tell you differently, do hear me?”
“But I’m not like you,” your shoulders dropped at those words, hurting you even further to know that of all people to compare herself to in this world it was you. Her protector and older sister. “You couldn’t see it back home. How all of the young men were always vying for your attention because you were busy with dad and all your tasks. But they were always looking at you, hoping and dreaming for a single moment of focus.”
“Stop,” a breath hitched in her. “You cannot, and will not compare yourself to me, little sister. I am not the standard for what is beautiful in this world. I admire strong people, strong hearts like our mother and grandmother, but at the end of the day, I also make sure to appreciate myself.”
“How can I appreciate myself when I’m a freak?”
Eywa, like you hated that word. It wasn’t horrible in itself, a simple word in the English dictionary used to describe a lot of things. But ever since you had been able to talk and understand words, that word had always followed your siblings and that one extra finger.
“Well, then we’re both freaks,” as Kiri met your eyes you wiggled your five fingers at her as her lips tugged. “We’re two sides of the same coin, so your argument is not valid. Because if you say I’m the standard of beauty with my five fingers, then you are too.”
She sighed heavily. “Sissy-”
“Nope! No takebacks. You are beautiful, done. You said it yourself.”
“You’re not being funny,” in despite of her words, you felt the tension ease from her form.
“If you think I’m ever joking about this, you will have to think again.”
Tucking her closer against you, as if that was possible, you rested your cheek against the crown of her head as both of you looked back out into the ocean. Letting the warm breeze act like a comforting blanket in the darkness of the topic.
“I know it isn’t easy,” you whispered. “Having your own thoughts betraying you, making you believe in…whatever negative angle it comes up with. It’s not something to fix within a day, or this conversation itself. This darkness roots itself into our very bones, convincing us that there is no other truth. But I will never let you get roped into it.”
There was a waver in her voice as Kiri spoke. “How do you know it is fixable? Because I can’t see it…”
“Because I will be here. Every step of the way.”
You thought that would be the end of it, taking her nonverbal response as her own acceptance.
But you were wrong, more often than not lately when it came to your siblings.
“Please don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Kiri nearly croaked, the whisper of her sentence so low you nearly had to strain to hear clearly.
It still managed to settle that uncomfortable feeling of unease deep in your chest as you swallowed at her meaning.
“Don’t say that, little sister,” was all you could say, because she was right, in a sense.
This stalemate that your family was in with the Metkayina was a false security. Your father might have been able to trick himself that everything was okay now - safe.
You thought differently.
“I will do my best, can you at least accept that?”
The way she snuggled further into you was a yes in her language, and you settled for it as of the moment.
If the future was set on separating your family then you would meet its gaze when the day arrived.
However, right now, your sister needed you, and that was all that mattered.
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