#firefly was another space cowboy set up that I adored because I actually saw the relationships between the characters develop

[gravedangerahead]

Hi, Rapha! I have a question, and feel absolutely free to not answer if that makes you uncomfortable (it's not my intention).

You seem to like a lot of romance movies and you're aro. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it if you have any.

Because obviously, we don't only consume media that we relate to. But I'm wondering because I, myself, used to not be a fan of romance bc I couldn't relate to it at all! I used to identify as a lesbian, and all I knew were straight couples in movies. It's not like I hated it, but I didn't quite like romance bc seeing straight couples all the time was something that... I didn't quite enjoy. I felt like it was something so far from me, if that makes sense.

I guess my question is... what is your view on heteronormative movies as a queer person, specifically while aroace?

Oh, wow. I've actually wondered about that myself, but I don't actually know?

One thing I thought about is that sex and romance are so ubiquitous, and fiction gives me a lens through which I can interpret these things that are absolutely everywhere and are considered super important. So that romantic song isn't about an experience that's completely alien to me, it's about my OTP!

I usually like romance that's actually given importance by the narrative, if it isn't fully central, that side romance that seems to be in every story because it has to be there leaves me cold. When they put two hot actors next to each other and then expect me to root for them to get together just because it's very frustrating. I never used to see a romantic relationship between characters unless it was explicitly intended by the narrative. When I started engaging with fandom more I would start seeing it after having actual fan content for it . So I didn't project it there.

Romantic stories are some of the ones that focus the most on interpersonal relationships. Who these characters are, what makes them tick, what makes them good for each other, what causes rift, how they need to grow to work things out, internal conflicts arising from the characters and not just external conflict. I do also love stories about found family, about siblings and about friendship for similar reasons. I usually care about characters and relationships more than I care about plot. And I like cute, sweet moments which is also common in romantic stories.

And there's curiosity about a thing I don't experience. I already liked romance since I was very little, and I was convinced it would happen at some point. I really invested on the late bloomer narrative, then on the right person narrative,  because I thought it was just the natural progression that at some point I'd have a cute relationship like my parents, or like in fiction. I idenfied as demi for a while, with no reason to believe that, before admitting I was just plain aroace. But now that I know I still retain a bit of a fascination with romantic stories.

But as you said, we don't only like stories we relate to. I often relate a lot to the characters in romantic stories, but even if I don't relate to the romance itself it's still fun. I think romantic stories have some clearly delineated progression and resolution for you to hang cuteness and funny shenanigans on.

Sorry for the delay on the answer, I'm very wordy and I was boxing up books for the move all day today. I hope this is at least somewhat coherent.

Also, I watched Lisbela and the Prisoner when I 7 and I just stole my whole personality from it, so there's that

#Rapha rambles #aroace #aromantic #asexual #asks #answered asks #I was watching cowboy bebop (the original) and I still have some episodes to go but it feels like a wasted opportunity #the characters are good but I don't see the relationship between the characters developing much so far #firefly was another space cowboy set up that I adored because I actually saw the relationships between the characters develop #Honestly there are also a lot of ''romantic'' stories I like where I didn't actually care about the guy at all and he was just a sexy lamp #something for the female protagonist to get for her troubles lol #but I didn't go into that because in those cases the romance wasn't the appeal #I do also like female protagonists actually that seems to be more common in romance too #when I say my parents are cute I mean they are very cute #long post