: PHONE CALL AWAY, HEARTACHE AWAKE. giselle x fm!reader
synopsis. in which aeri is forgiven but not forgotten.
now playing : glue song by beabadoobee — wc. 753
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏TOOTH-ROTTING sweetness attempted to fill the ambience as my hands gripped onto her shirt in a fit of anger, "ri... you can't leave me like this," it left so desperate, full of remorse and guilt as soon as those words left my mouth.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"it's alright, i'll be back during summer," she attempts to reassure.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"ri, you're leaving for korea! how is this gonna 'be alright'?" i fight back
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"listen... it's my dream, y'know, to be an idol. please, just let go... people are watching."
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏a heartache awakens inside myself, this is all that i was, isn't it? a pretty girlfriend for my girlfriend to embarrass herself with.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i let go of her shirt and a handful of spiteful words leave my mouth. i don't mean them, of course, and i also don't mean to leave her just like that, stranded at the airport.
🎬 — flashback end ,,
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏SUCH MEMORY repeats itself inside my head, we never officially broke up, but she must think we did. our few lasting mutual friends have told me about her night life and how oh-so close she is with this jimin girl.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i feel delusional, clinging onto something from 4 years back. i stand up from the bed, groggy.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏maybe everyone was right about her. maybe i should’ve believed everyone about how much of a wreck uchinaga would leave me as. i had given her my all, but she was unable to reciprocate.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"i'm a loser", i thought to myself. it had been many years of attempting to get over her, but nothing worked. it took me a lot to "forgive her", though i still long for her. it was almost as tragic as romeo and juliet, except neither of us had died even though it felt as if i had.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏grins were exchanged between me and my reflection in the mirror. was i going insane? i'd never know for sure, until all that's left of her is not the pictures frames in the living room nor the box full her letters from the first few months she was in korea. what's left of her should be the feeling of appreciation i have always had for her, from within, i could feel her warmth, but now, it is just a distant memory.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏as though i were a fish out of water, i choked on the few tears that would not leak, would not trail down my pajamas shirt and drive me mad once more.
🎬 — timeskip ,,
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏THOUGH I cannot hear her, i can visualize her in my mind. visualize her running across the stage, oh-so happy as her dream was fulfilled, as though i weren't a collector of those silly little glossy, cardboard cards with her face on them.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i felt like i was rotting away, specially when i could've sworn i'd seen her. walking about, i must have been insane to follow the shadow of was supposedly her. except, it really was her.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏there she was, by the sumida river, with whom i could pinpoint as yu jimin. heartbreak awoke inside my chest once more, for i knew this whole time she was just a phone call away.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏she looked as happy as she did in my imagination, full of no guilt, and only herself. it hurt me though i should be happy. i just stared and stared as though i was a fan. the jimin girl pointed at me and told aeri something inaudible from the distance i was at.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"i know her," aeri yelled, motioning for me to come over. i shot a soft smile, but jimin clinged the uchinaga's arm protectively. my heartbeat quickened as though i were watching my past self and aeri on a date.
͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏once and for all, i had to settle this. therefore for the first time in my life, i rejected her. i rejected uchinaga aeri by walking away into the midst of the buzzing city.
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