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floralseokjin · 7 years

Text

— ask and you shall receive | pt 4—final (m)

it's been a couple of months since you and your sugar daddy changed your arrangement and while all has been well, practically floating on cloud 9, something is about to happen that will drop kick you back into reality…

pairing | jung hoseok x reader, sugar daddy! hoseok genre/warnings | angst, romance, fluff, smut words | 9,405

» pt 1 :: pt 2 :: pt 3 :: pt 4 ✓

It was nearly a week later, after that catastrophic argument (although there was no actual shouting, just almighty crossed wires,) Hoseok messaged you. It was just gone 9pm and you were in bed, huddled under blanket after blanket like you had been all week pretty much, when your cell buzzed and as if you were psychic, you just knew it was him. That eerie dread creeping up your spine and when you swiped the screen and saw his name, the dread became a knot in your stomach, twisting and turning. You knew you had to read it. You couldn’t leave it unread for eternity, so you took a deep breath and clicked on the notification.

— Hoseok: I’m home tomorrow. Do you want to talk?

You took another deep breath, not exactly sure what to think or what to do. All you’d wanted to do was talk to Hoseok this past week, but he’d be deadly silent and you weren’t about to beg him for the tiniest amount of contact. Now he was messaging you again, even though a part of you wanted to believe he truly did want to speak and sort things out, the larger, more logic side of you knew no amount of talking between Hoseok and you would work. You both wanted two different things.

Your phone buzzed again while you were deep in thought and you looked down to read another message—much longer this time, and it made your heart begin to ache.

— Hoseok: if you don’t want to that’s fine. If you don’t want to see me again that’s also fine… You don’t even have to reply to this. I’ll take your silence as an answer to leave you to get on with your life.

His words made you feel empty inside. You knew they should have probably made it easier for you, after all, you knew deep down there would be no seeing him anymore. It was hard to wrap your head around but you knew it was for the best, just like Jiahn said. It had been her sole responsibility to make sure you were okay this past week, comfort you and give you solidarity—strength in numbers, because you were weak on your own. You needed her to drum it in that you and Hoseok could be no more after this. He’d made it perfectly clear how he felt that night at yours. He wasn’t looking for anything serious. Your relationship wasn’t supposed to evolve, at least, not for him.

You pulled the skin of your bottom lip between your teeth, worrying it raw as you fought the urge to respond to his message. You knew Jiahn wouldn’t be happy if you gave into him in some type of way, for she partially felt guilty for giving you the idea to find a sugar daddy in the first place. You’d tried telling her if wasn’t her fault at all. It was your fault for falling for someone out of your reach. You knew secretly it’d been happening but cowardly you’d ignored it, living in your own little bubble because it was too good to be true. Of course, it was. And now look at you.

Heartbroken. The one thing you didn’t want to be.

You stuck to your guns, knowing Jiahn would be proud of you, but more than that, you’d be proud of yourself. Maybe not yet, but in weeks, months, years, you could look back on this and know you’d done the correct thing. Hoseok wasn’t the man for you. You’d wanted him to be, you’d almost believed he was, but no… Not now. Maybe in another lifetime, but definitely not right now…

An hour later your phone buzzed again and this time reading his message made you cry. You’d cried a lot this week but it looked like it wasn’t over just yet.

— Hoseok: I wish you all the best. Have a great life. I know you’ll only do amazing.

You quickly deleted Hoseok’s messages and finally his number, knowing that was the only way you’d give yourself a chance at getting over him. You wiped your tears away fiercely, vowing this would be the last time you cried over him.

It was over. You needed to accept that.

It was over. He needed to accept that.

However, it was hard to do when all he had was thoughts of you plaguing his mind. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on his business trip and he’d definitely been unable to concentrate the weeks after you ended things officially by not replying to him. He didn’t blame you, in fact, the logical side of him knew that would be the case after all the things he’d said to you that night, but even though he had trained himself to act as that of a machine over the years, carefully and intensely controlled, there was a still a small part of him that wanted to let go. To be loved and to love in return.

He knew in his heart of hearts you were most probably the one. The only one. There was something about you from the very first time you’d met. He couldn’t stay away, not that he wanted to or had to, but he was still unsure. You didn’t want him like that, he was so sure of it in the beginning, but over time he knew the attraction he felt for you wasn’t just one sided. However, he has waited because he didn’t want to make it look like he’d forced you into something you didn’t want. You were still very dubious of the whole sugar daddy/baby thing and he didn’t want to scare you away because imagining you not around was something he couldn’t fathom, despite how little time you’d been in his life.

Even though he’d made the same mistake of having sex with his company before, and he didn’t want to do it again because it made the situation way more seedy than it needed to be, he couldn’t stop himself with you. You were different. For one, it truly felt like you weren’t using him, weren’t disgusted by him. Of course you wanted his money, but it wasn’t to live a lavish lifestyle, it was just to get by. To finish school and better yourself. When you laughed with him, kissed him, touched him, it wasn’t fake. It was all real. Too real in fact.

It was real for him too, but in the end, he’d run away from his feelings. It’s what he did best. He may look and act respectful but deep down he was a coward. When it had come to love he’d run away his entire adult life. Using his career for an excuse was quickly proving futile because although yes, he did work all the hours under the sun and had to go away on business trips, sometimes with little or no notice, it didn’t stop him from holding down a healthy and balanced relationship. He’d proved that over the last six months with you.

It was all him. He couldn’t pinpoint when commitment had become such a huge issue to him. There was no trigger, no explanation, he’d just realised while in a relationship that he didn’t want to settle down. He’d been with the same girl since college and while all their mutual friends were getting engaged, even married…having kids…that’s not what he’d wanted. Breaking her heart had been the worst thing he’d ever had to do, now on par with breaking yours. Although he was sure this time hurt him more than the first because he knew deep down this wasn’t what he wanted and also, it was a punch in the face, a hit of reality—he was still the same, no matter how many years had past. He was still the same.

Even though, with maturity he’d realised back then it wasn’t potentially a fear of settling down, more like realising the girl wasn’t the one, but his subconscious had taken it as a sure sign of an impenetrable fear of commitment and now here he was, it was still ruining his life. Relationships never worked out for more than a few months, a year at the most and then he’d run away. That’s why when his best friend Yoongi had suggested the idea of the dreaded, unthinkable word sugar daddy he’d somehow thought it was a good idea. It seemed like a good way to attract and dine company without the worry of anything serious. There had only been two. You and Veronica.

Veronica was a bad first example, he’d let himself fall for her impressive looks and aura, spoiling her with gifts she didn’t need, nor could he truly afford, not really. It had taken him a while to realise he was being used, but when he had, he had quickly ended their agreement. You were the last try. He didn’t think the lifestyle was for him. It was downright sleazy most of the time and impersonal. Veronica really hadn’t cared for anything other than his money. However, he was still lonely, needing some type of company, so he thought if he specified he was only looking for it in the form of friendship there’d be a better chance of it all working out. And it did…for a while, but then he’d found himself falling for you…

You were different to Veronica. Different to any other woman he’d met in his whole life. It was impossible to deny that your agreed relationship had turned into something more, but that night after the disastrous dinner he’d found himself doing just that. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was ingrained in him—to run away when things got serious. To ignore his heart and ruin it. Everything he’d told you that night had been a lie. You didn’t know how much his heart had swelled when you’d said all those things about liking him and wanting him, regardless of status and money.

But that was the problem… He had worked incredibly hard to build this life for himself, to create it and in the end, to hide behind it… His company was his baby and he used it to halt getting close to a woman. He couldn’t be in serious relationship if he had to work practically every day, even when he wasn’t at the office… It had fooled many before you, but no, not you. For he had given you his all, only to shove it back in your face and disregard it.

However, he wasn’t expecting it to affect him this much. He was used to bouncing back on his feet, controlling his emotions down to a tee. But here he was unable to concentrate on anything other than thoughts of you. He’d used his business trip as time to work out what he wanted and while he was still conflicted he had truly wanted to speak to you in person again. He wanted to have a long talk and maybe, hopefully show you how he felt. He wanted you to understand but like he’d expected, you didn’t want anything to do with him. You probably hated him. And he couldn’t blame you. He had belittled your feelings and practically told you they were invalid. He’d ran away without a backwards glance and you didn’t want anything to do with him.

He needed to respect that, despite how much he wanted to see you, to talk to you, to make you understand… It was too late. He’d lost his chance and now he needed to get over it, like you were getting over him.

He’d ruined everything.

It was over.

Time went on and you began to get used to Hoseok not being around. Days quickly flew into weeks and with some space and time to reflect you realised how stupid you were to think a relationship with Hoseok could work out. You were even more stupid to try and live with your head buried in the sand all that time while seeing him—while he was paying you for your company. There was nothing normal about that situation. Nothing loving. Yes, you both may have been attracted to one another, but that didn’t mean everything could magically worked out.

What were you expecting to happen? For you and him to live together happily ever after while he continued to pay for the most mundane things you needed in life, or would it have just gotten worse? What more could you take from him while pretending everything was normal, everything was okay. You had fallen for the dream, not the reality, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still taking you time to get over him. Out of all the men you had fallen for in your life (a few at that,) it had never hit you this bad, and it was a struggle to get on with your life like normal without him.

You had to get a new job, which of course you didn’t mind, actually, it was nice to get back into the real world. It was nice to earn your own money by doing something substantial. In fact, that realisation just made you even more bitter. Really, what were you thinking when you thought a sugar baby life was for you? It was laughable now, looking back. You must have really been desperate, or lazy… You weren’t cut out for that life…you didn’t think Hoseok was either… You wondered if he was still accepting that or if he’d given up on that life too… The thought made your head hurt, fresh waves of heartbreak squeezing against your chest.

Your new job was in a little café, not too far into the city, so closer to your apartment. The hours were less strenuous than the restaurant jobs you’d had in the past, easy to manage between classes and school work, but that did mean the money was less helpful. That’s when you had to swallow your own pride and ask your parents for some type of allowance. They give it to you of course, like you knew they would all those months ago, and of course, it made you just wish you had done. How different would life have been? You wouldn’t have met Hoseok that was for sure…but despite everything, you couldn’t let yourself think like that. You were glad you’d met him, he’d changed you as a person and for that you were thankful.

You couldn’t help but wonder though, how different things would have been if you’d met him in the real world, if you’d bumped into him randomly, gotten along…became friends…even more... How would that have changed things…? Would it even have at all?

You guess you would get your answer soon enough…

❀❀❀❀

You saw Hoseok again just over two months later. It was a shock and you totally weren’t expecting him to be sat right in the corner of the little café you worked at. You almost didn’t realise he was there, masked in a group of co-workers, employees, business partners? You weren’t sure, nor did you care, because as soon as you noticed he was there time stood still. You weren’t prepared for the wash of emotions that flooded your body and froze you rigid. He still looked the same, although that was obvious, why would there be any radical changes? It just made realise without him in your life time still ticked by, he had carried on with his life, just like you had and now he was here…. not a few metres away from you.

And you had to take his order. You had to physically make your body move and walk over there with your legs, one foot in front of the other. You had to speak. You had to make eye contact. You had to be beside him once again. After thinking you’d never see him again, the universe had forced you back together, if not just for an hour or so.

You felt sick. Physically sick. But you forced yourself to go. You needed to do this, just for you. It was test of sorts. To see if you could handle it. To see if you were truly over him, or if not, just to help you along. To make you stronger.

He hadn’t noticed you worked here, he hadn’t noticed you were there until you spoke, and you hated the sound of your own voice. It sounded fake, too high, too sweet, too forced. You were suddenly too self-conscious to think properly, moving on autopilot, the smallest of movements seeming like outlandish dramatic motions and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“Can I take your guy’s order?”

You watched as Hoseok’s body tensed up, recognising your voice straight away, the smile freezing on his face as he slowly turned his head towards you, drawn to the familiarity, eyes widening when they landed on your face. You shuffled on your feet, black pumps squeaking on the floor, feeling scrutinised, heart pounding inside your chest. You couldn’t do this. You wanted to run away. You felt like you were braking and you immediately broke eye contact, every nerve in your body tingling with anxiety. You were relieved beyond belief when the people he was with began ordering and you welcomed the distraction, head down in full concentration as you scribbled on your notepad, your heart jumping around when Hoseok made his order last. You nodded your head furiously and turned to leave, wanting to get the hell out of there, but a hand clasped your wrist and stopped you.

“Hey, I’m so sorry,” Hoseok whispered and your heart stuttered, the muscle freezing up as you turned to face him coyly. He was trying to act discreet so no one would notice and you finally plucked up the courage to look him in the eyes again, if even just for a little bit.

“If I had known you worked here I would’ve never come,” he told you, almost apologetically, and you smiled without realising, a small one that tugged at the corners of your mouth.

“It’s okay, Hoseok. This city is pretty small, right?” You reassured him, and then off you went, your legs feeling like jelly, but at least you made it.

It wasn’t his fault he was here. You didn’t want him to have to avoid public places in fear of you turning up. In fact, there was very little chance of you bumping into each other…this was just a one off…right? A cruel trick that the world had pulled? It didn’t mean anything. After today you probably wouldn’t see him again, and in all honestly you didn’t know how to feel about that.

You couldn’t help but watch him converse and eat while you busied yourself with serving other customers. It was addictive, you couldn’t look away. You wanted to absorb every detail of his face, his laugh, his posture. If this really was the last time you wanted to take every little detail in.

The familiar heaviness in your heart reappeared again when he left, and you didn’t miss the tentative glance he stole in your direction as he left. You weren’t over him. Not that you thought you had been by any means, but this was just a stark reminder of how devastating the reality was that now you had to live your life without him in it…

You were back to square one that night when your cell buzzed—hiding in a cocoon of blankets on your bed, a mass of thoughts circulating your mind. Maybe you really had to get on with your life to get over him. Meet someone new? Live your life like a young person should do in college? But the thought of moving on made you feel weird inside and when you picked up your phone absentmindedly, really not expecting the message to be from the one person you were trying to forget, you stopped for a moment…maybe this was a sign?

— Unknown: Hey, it’s Hoseok. I don’t know if you still have the same number or not, or if you deleted mine, but I’ve been fighting the urge to message you all afternoon… I didn’t ask how you’ve been doing. Please forgive me for being so rude.

You read the text over and over again, eyes practically blazing through the screen as you processed and probably overanalysed each and every single word. In the end you couldn’t help but giggle at how formal he was being. Please forgive me for being so rude. Why was he always so polite?

Your fingers hovered over the keys, trying to think of a fitting reply because you were going to reply. For some reason the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind to not. You craved his company, even if it was just a few moments via text message. It was still more than you’d had in months.

— You: I still have the same number, yes — You: Hi.

You take a deep breath, bracing yourself as you waited for his reply, but it turned out you didn’t have to wait long before your phone was buzzing again in your hand.

— Unknown: Hi! Thank god. Although I wasn’t expecting a reply, that was vain of me…

You went to reassure him straight away, wondering what to say. For some reason you were desperate to keep the conversation going, scared that this contact may be fleeting and then you’d be left back at square one.

— You: It’s perfectly fine… I’ve been well, thank you. And you?

— Unknown: I’ve been alright, thanks.

You went to ask him how work had been going but at the same time you sent the message your phone buzzed with a question from him.

— You: How’s work going?

— Unknown: How long have you been working at Marie’s? Do you like it there?

— You: lol

— Unknown: Haha

You couldn’t help but giggle again. The sound a little foreign but natural nonetheless. Your heart was beginning to tingle, knowing that he was just as desperate to keep the conversation a float. You waited for him to answer you, but when he didn’t, you realised he was waiting for your reply first.

— You: just over a month now… it’s a nice place to work at, the hours are easier to handle than a restaurant

— Unknown: That’s great. I’m glad it’s not as stressful on you like before. How’s school? Work is fine for me btw. The same old, nothing rarely changes…

You sunk back into your bed, beginning to relax as you typed some more and told him how school was. You found small talk with Hoseok once again became natural and before you knew it, you were catching up…all while skirting around the subject of the break up—if you could call it that. You didn’t mind though, you hadn’t expected it, you were just happy to be talking again.

It was getting late after a few more messages were past around and you had an 8am class the next day, but for some reason, you didn’t have it in you to cut the conversation short. When it felt like it was waning you’d say something random to get it back started again and now you were currently inwardly panicking after he hadn’t replied for a few minutes… Maybe he’d fallen asleep? Or maybe your new conversation starter about veganism had freaked him out…

Your eyes were just beginning to give in and droop when your cell buzzed on your chest and you jumped up, scurrying to open it and read what he’d said. Your heart beginning to beat a little too fast once you had.

— Hoseok: You know when I said nothing rarely changes…? I lied…

What did that mean? You were confused, wanting to ask him to elaborate, but you could tell by the three dots bouncing up and down on the screen that he wasn’t done.

— Hoseok: I miss you. I hate myself for laying this on you right now, so late at night too…but I miss you so much.

This time your heart stopped mid beat, re-reading over his words as if you couldn’t believe them. You didn’t, not really. You wouldn’t let your hopes be messed about with.

— You: Hoseok…

This time he took a lot longer to reply and you waited with bated breath, your heart beginning to drum again, wildly and relentless as his messages buzzed in one after the other, typos and all as he seemingly tried to make his feelings known.

— Hoseok: Not much has changed at work, but I have. Or at least, I’ve been trying to. I left things so awfully and I regret a lot of what I said to you that night—if not all of it. I never had a chance to explain myself because I respected your wishes when you didn’t reply to me a couple of months back, but I still do

— Hoseok: want to explain that is

— Hoseok: and typing this all out is frustrating and I can’t express how I feel snd I don’t know, I just want one last chance to tell you everything I’ve been feeling. Was feeling. Still am feeling…

It took a while for his words to sink in and you stared blankly at the screen for so long he messaged you again, probably second guessing himself.

— Hoseok: It’s probably too much to ask. I’m sorry for being so rude.

You replied before you could overthink.

— You: I miss you too — You: A lot.

— Hoseok: You do? You don’t know how happy that makes me feel

— Hoseok: I mean, it doesn’t make me ecstatic that you miss me just thta I’m not alone. I’m sorry

You paused to giggle a little, not used to Hoseok acting like this. It was kind of cute.

— You: It’s okay, I understand what you mean… hearing you say you miss me was a great feeling too

— Hoseok: I miss you. I’ll say it again just to make you feel great. I love making you feel great. You mean the world to me.

— You: Hoseok…

You had to warn him again because you were afraid you were falling too easily again. Granted, he had just confessed more than he’d ever done in the six months that you’d known him and it seemed like he wasn’t done, but you still were too afraid to get your hopes up. He had hurt you—broken your heart if you were being honest and a few text messages weren’t going to make it magically all better—

— Hoseok: Can we meet up? — Hoseok: Tomorrow? So we can talk properly

—but maybe speaking in person would be a better option… He was right, you hadn’t given him a chance to explain himself before, maybe that was selfish of you? Maybe everything could have been resolved if you had? Or maybe you were too weak? Jiahn would probably think so, and you groaned, realising you would have to tell her everything tomorrow…

— Hoseok: I’m sorry if I’m pushing this. All you have to do is say no and I’ll listen and won’t bother you again. It’s just today felt like a sign and I can’t ignore it, not if there’s a chance of working things out.

A chance of working things out? Your throat felt dry and tight. Did he mean it? You thought today was a sign too… It had to mean something, right?

— Hoseok: I don’t usually beg, but…please. Please, if not just so I can explain myself and try to make you see none of it was your fault.

You took a deep breath before replying. You knew you needed this. You both did.

— You: Okay. I think we need it. — You: Where?

— Hoseok: Thank you. I don’t deserve it. — Hoseok: the park where we used to go for walks?

Of course you agreed. And off you went to the park where you’d shared many a memory with Hoseok. Seeing him standing there waiting for you took your breath away a little but you pushed yourself forward, greeting him with a hi.

“Hello, you,” he smiled. “How was class?”

Truth was it was torture, half asleep from getting little to no rest last night, even after you’d said goodnight to Hoseok. You hadn’t been able to drop off, mind a mass of thoughts, but the good kind this time, and now you were paying for it, bags under your eyes, face surly swollen a little. But of course you lied and said it was good.

You walked for a little while in silence. It wasn’t awkward, just a little nerve wracking. You didn’t know what to expect, especially when he asked you to sit down on a bench—the very bench where you shared your first kiss… The memory stirred fresh feelings inside your tummy, swirling around like crazy. Hoseok was still silent for a while and you patiently waited for him. He was after all the one who wanted to speak to you. You had said all you wanted to say that night. Now it was his turn.

After some awkward shuffling and quiet sighs, he finally opened his mouth, and after a few minutes, he was finally beginning to relax as you listened silently, the words falling off his tongue almost easily.

He told you how much he’d missed you, how much he’d wanted to speak to you and make things better again, but most of all, how much he regretted everything that had happened. For disregarding your feelings and making you feel like it was all in your head. Because it wasn’t. He had feelings for you. He still did, but he’d cruelly pretended it was nothing more than a business agreement. That wasn’t true. He wanted nothing more than to be equals with you, to share everything with you. He cared about you and he hated his life without you. He missed you every waking moment. He was happy to let you live your life if it meant you’d be better without him, but he’d taken yesterday as a sign. A last chance. He needed this, if not nuts for closure—for both of you.

He had wanted to be honest all those weeks back but it was hard for him. Still was hard. He was a coward, scared of his own feelings and he’d chosen to run away from it all. He was selfish. It had always been like that. He told you about past relationships and why they had failed. Commitment issues maybe? He didn’t know. He thought it used to be something like that, but maybe he was just too frightened to let someone in? For someone to see the real him, flaws and all. Having someone love him was scary because he thought he would only break their heart in the end… or maybe selfishly worse; what if he let someone in and they broke his? He didn’t know if he could recover from that.

You realised as he spoke, you hadn’t known much about his life before you. Yes, he talked about his business but that’s as far as it went. While on the contrary, you had told him so much about your life it was maybe stupid. Or not? Hoseok was a great listener and he enjoyed helping people out, but you understood even the most helpful of people deserved to have people listen to them once in a while too. The most giving deserved the most help.

The conversation lulled into a comfortable silence after he got to explain himself, express himself and you basked in it, finally feeling a little full? Complete? It was a nice feeling but you still had small regrets itching at the back of your mind.

“What are you thinking?” He asked after a moment and you turned to face him to see him watching you carefully, concern lightly darkening his features. His hair had grown a little longer since you’d last seen him and dark strands blew in the wind and curled over his face. He looked positively breathtaking and your heart ached a little.

“I kind of just wish I had replied to you those couple months back—maybe things would have been resolved quicker,” you admitted easily. There was no need to feel self-conscious anymore.

“Selfishly I wished that too for a while,” he nodded after a moment, “but it works out better this way. We had some space to clear our heads and see what we want, and I don’t know, a few weeks ago I don’t think I would have had the guts to be so open with you,” he confessed. “Missing you this much has shown me how incredibly bad I want you in my life.”

You let out a breath, “you really mean that?”

“With all my heart,” he told you sincerely, looking you straight in the eyes and taking your hand, before continuing to babble. “You’re the one. I’m sure of it. I want us to try again. Slowly. Properly. As equals—dating? I want us to go on date nights and hang out together and—

“Like sharing the cost together at restaurants?” You butted in with a wry grin.

“Yes,” he agreed after a pause, chuckling slightly, “going dutch, right?” He asked and you nodded. “I want that. I want us. I know it might take us a while to get there again—for you to trust me and be confortable around me, but I really want to be given the chance to show you I’ve changed. Even if I don’t deserve it, I want to—

He was off again, speaking a mile a minute and you cut him off with a kiss to the lips. You weren’t really thinking properly but your attention has been on his mouth ever since he’d started babbling and it was the only thing you could think of to shut him up. It was brief but it still had your heart swelling to twice its size.

“I think you deserve it,” you grinned, pulling away with a smooch.

“Really?” He breathed, eyes wide and unfocused, still in awe by the kiss.

“Of course,” you insisted, taking a breath before carrying on. “Hoseok, you are the most genuine guy I’ve ever met, give your faults, but everyone has those. I do—” you paused when he went to interrupt you and you shot him a look “—don’t try to argue. Humans aren’t perfect.”

“I think you’re perfect,” he quipped and you rolled your eyes, hitting him playfully on the shoulder as you leant into him and he wrapped his arm around you.

“Okay, now you’re just trying to butter me up,” you smiled as he leant down to kiss you once more, a peck so gentle you hardly felt it.

“So, you’re giving me another chance?” He wondered, needing to make sure and you nodded, looking up at him with earnest.

“I’m giving us another chance.”

A few weeks past and you and Hoseok got into a routine. It was surprising how easy things got back to normal, only this time things were infinitely different to how they were. There was no guilt, no stresses when money wasn’t involved. You didn’t feel like you owed him anything, although you never did, and finally you had got what you wanted. A relationship. Just you and he on equal footing.

Jiahn was surprisingly easy to convince, even easier than you and she gave her blessing, telling you she “knew you both were made for each other”, despite not two months ago her telling you, you were better off without him and it would have never worked out. But you took it with a smile, knowing she just wanted you to be happy and obviously she could see that you were.

True to his word, Hoseok took it slow. He took you out; dinners, movies, museums. You spent so much of your free time together and enjoyed each step of the way. You’d recently began to spend time as his again. He was a dab hand at cooking and he was into creating new recipes for you to eat. Tonight, he was making something Thai, something you’d never heard of but it smelt wonderful.

“Only the best for my baby,” he’d grinned when you had told him, wrapping his arms around your back as he nuzzled his face into your neck, basking in your perfume.

The meal was amazing, as expected, and afterwards you had been cuddled on the sofa, your back against his chest as you settled in between his legs, sipping on wine.

“It’s getting late, I should call you a taxi,” Hoseok hummed as you watched the television.

“No, it’s okay, I can call one for myself,” you shook your head, sitting up slightly, but feeling slightly disappointed. Leaving was the worst time of the night and you got up with heavy feet.

“Or…?” He began, almost as if he was suggesting something and you turned your head back to look at him hopefully, “what?”

“It’s nothing, I just—” he tried again, beginning to get awkward. “You could stay the night? It’s actually really late, too late for you to go home alone.”

“Okay,” you agreed almost instantly.

“Okay?” He repeated, sounding shocked and you nodded.

“If you want me to, yes.”

“Oh. Okay,” he smiled, outstretching his arms for you to join him again and you took his hands, settling back down and falling against his chest as he placed a kiss to your hairline. “That’s great.”

You took the suggestion easily. You didn’t know what it meant, but you were excited regardless, even if it just meant sharing a bed. Imagining waking up next to him again made your stomach flutter. However, Hoseok was beginning to act awkward, deadly silent and stiff under you. Looking up at him he seemed tense, jaw locked.

“Hoseok?” You wondered out loud and he hummed. “Are you okay?”

“Hm, yes or course,” he grinned, but it seemed a little forced, “why?”

“You’ve been distracted ever since I said I would stay over,” you shrugged, sitting up once again and he let his arms fall from around you. “I can go if you want? Do you have to wake up early or something?”

“No,” he exclaimed, sitting up with you. “No…that’s not it… it’s just—ah—” he stuttered, “—um, oh god, how do I—

“Hoseok,” you interrupted, “what’s up with you? You’re all antsy and acting weird.”

It was true. You’d never seen him act this way before, not even when he was apologising and letting you in. He watched you for a moment, swallowing loudly as you raised an eyebrow, confused and now a little worried.

“I-I wanted to ask you something…” he began, and you waited with bated breath, nerves drumming up your body. “I don’t know how though…like, how do I ask for you to…to be my girlfriend…?”

Your eyes widened as time stood still, happiness filling every vein inside your body. This is why he’d been acting so weird? You chuckled, reaching for his hands and clasping them.

“I think you just did.”

“I did?” He repeated, looking unsure of himself. It was rare you saw him like this and it was sweet, your heart filling with admiration.

“You did,” you grinned. “And my answer is of course.”

You leaned into kiss him, closing your eyes as you felt his soft lips against yours and he sighed in relief, kissing you back before he pulled away gently.

“There’s one more thing actually,” he added hesitantly. “If I’m out here being honest—the new me,” he chuckled silently and you went to join him but the air was knocked straight out of your lungs. “I love you—I’m so in love with you I can’t think properly. You turn me into somebody else, but someone so much better.”

Confession stunning you for longer than you imagined, his words ringing inside your ears you forced yourself to move, shuffling between his legs to cup his face, kissing him again, desperate to show him everything you were feeling.

“I love you too,” you grinned breathlessly, breaking apart to speak. “Of course I do.”

It was true. You’d loved him for a while, you were positive, although you hadn’t wanted to admit it, and you were so happy that he felt the same back. Everything had finally fallen into place and you’d never felt happier. You kissed him again and this time he kissed back with a little force. You could never get enough of kissing him; his touch, his taste… It was addictive, and now you could have it forever.

You shifted, pushing him back by the shoulders a little so that his back was against the sofa and you straddled him, sitting snug in his lap as he wrapped his arms around you, groaning into the kiss as he parted his mouth, tongue lacing against yours, one of your hands gripping his shoulder while the other cupped his neck, pressing your chest flush against his.

You don’t know how long you sat there kissing, but the whole room was beginning to get stuffy, your skin hot as the kiss developed into something of a frenzy. There was something more behind each of your actions tonight. You were craving one another. It had been so long and every flick of his tongue, every caress of his fingers along your back and legs were driving you wild. You could feel his shaky breath against yours, see the sweat forming at his hair line and you couldn’t help but drive your crotch into his, friction of his pants rubbing against your thinly covered core, dress having ridden up as his large hands rubbed at the bare skin of your thighs, sending shivers up your spine.

“Hoseok,” you murmured. “I want you so bad.”

He moaned at that, sound breaking in his throat as his hands moved to your hair, angling your head so he could kiss you a little firmer, tongue strong and taking control before he slid down your chin and finally to your neck, making you moan lewdly, losing yourself as he sucked and licked at the sensitive flesh.

“Are you sure?” He breathed, air blowing icy cold on the wet spots and you shuddered, gripping onto his shoulders, his actions having a zealous effect on your body.

You nodded wildly, not trusting your voice this time around, especially now as he was making his way to your throat, nibbling at the skin. You grit your hips into him sterner, desperate for him to make more of a move and you could feel his erection beginning to strain against his pants. The slightest of friction was enough for you to let out a shaky breath, body sensitive and your panties were most definitely getting damp between your bodies, craving him so bad he didn’t even have to touch you, not really.

He broke away with a squelch, neck wet with his salvia, flesh burning as if you were on fire, and his hands slid down your spine, catching the zip of your dress in the process and dragging it open, revealing the expanse of your back before he was messaging your butt, rolling and moulding the flesh in his palms, fingertips teasing the skin that peaked out, pressing your crotch into his harder, a growl leaving him as he looked up at you, eyes black and hungry, jaw slack.

“Bedroom,” he got out and you nodded once again, squealing a little when he stood up suddenly, holding you to him in his strong arms before he flew to his room.

It had been a long time since you’d been inside but it was exactly like you remembered, clean and minimal, bed sheets white and not a crease insight—well, that was until he placed you on them and towered over your body, fingers caressing your sides before he was pulling the sleeves of your garment down, as if he was desperate to undress you. He was never this quick but he seemed unstoppable tonight, as if he couldn’t control himself.

He almost fell backwards when he realised you weren’t wearing a bra and you had to shimmy out the rest of the dress yourself, kicking it to one side as he watched your body in awe. His hands reached out to touch you almost gingerly, fingertips tickling your tummy before he was tracing circles around your hardened nipples, making light sighs of pleasure escape you. You reached up to try and get him out of his shirt, fingers toying with the buttons and it took him a little while to get the hint before he was straightening his back and undressing himself, giving up with his buttons half way to just tug the stiff material over his head, dark hair tousled, but you hardly realised that because your eyes were too fixated to his chest, skin practically growing, shimmering with sweat. Your hands flew to his belt, unclasping the leather quickly, the clink of the metal causing your stomach to somersault.

He watched you intensely as you freed him, unzipping his fly with little problem, hand slipping inside to feel his hardness against your palm. He groaned, buckling into you without realising and he wrapped his own hand against yours, just basking in the feeling as you squeezed.

When he couldn’t wait any longer he let go, pulling his pants down and you watched as he stripped off completely, eyes taking his naked form in, as if he could disappear at any moment and you needed to remember as much as you could.

His thighs flexed as he crawled over you, shaky fingers coming up to the band of your underwear and he tugged a little, slowly revealing the last of your body, mouth finding yours as he peeled the chiffon off, stuck to your damp core that tingled when the air hit it, turning you on even more. You kicked them off completely and then you were both naked, flesh against flesh, limbs bumping and sliding against each other. You didn’t know where you wanted Hoseok to touch you first, you wanted it all at once, your body burning with a ferocious heat.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, breaking away from your mouth to peak between your bodies, seeing your soaked centre ready and waiting for him. “You’re so beautiful. I’m so lucky,” he breathed, lightly caressing your thighs as you bent your knees.

“I want to touch you everywhere,” he said with a kiss to your lips, “I want to pleasure you everywhere,” he kissed you again, “but,” and he half chuckled, groaning when his member accidentally rubbed against your heat. “—I don’t think I can wait any longer. I need to be inside you so bad. I’ve missed you so much.”

You moaned as he laced his fingers through your hair, angling your chin so he could kiss your lips long and hard and you felt his length slip between your legs, tip pressing against your opening.

“Are you good?” He asked, bracing himself with the palm of his hand as he pushed against the mattress, and you nodded.

There was no need to use a condom, you hadn’t been with anyone else since Hoseok and you knew he hadn’t either. You couldn’t wait to feel him inside you once again, after all this time and you held your breath as he pushed inside you, walls hugging him to you, like they had missed him too, like he was made for you. Your body wanted him so much there was no need for any warm up, you were wet enough and the burn of the stretch didn’t last too long, the pleasure outweighing the discomfort.

“Mhm,” he groaned, eyes clenched shut. “You feel better than I remember—fuck, baby…”

The name fell so freely from his tongue and your stomach began to knot up, a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of it as you watched him intently, his face contorting with pleasure as he began to thrust into you. His movements were stiff and hard as if he was overcome with pleasure and it wasn’t long before his head was falling into the crook of your neck, breathing heavily against your flesh. He was shuddering and tense and you realised at the last moment that he was close to coming. No longer had the thought rushed into your mind he was groaning and filling you up with his seed, gripping the sheets under him, knuckles turning white.

You lay underneath him, feeling him grow flaccid inside of you as he panted for breath and it wasn’t long before he was chucking weakly against your shoulder. “That was slightly humiliating,” he admitted.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, wrapping your arms around his back. If anything, you were even more turned on than before. Hoseok had always been a man or self-control and restraint, seeing him like this now was new and exciting. There wasn’t even time to feel disappointed.

You shifted under him but he stopped you, hand coming out to grip your waist. “No, wait. Stop for a moment,” he murmured, straightening his back to look you in the eye. “Let me stay inside you. Kiss me—I’ll get hard again soon.”

Your heart fluttered madly as he dropped his head to capture your lips in his and you listened, staying perfectly still as he snaked his tongue with yours. “I want to stay inside you forever,” he whispered against your mouth.

You moaned a little, kissing him harsher until he broke away and began kissing down your chest, taking one of your nipples inside his mouth, swirling his tongue around the flesh. You clasped at his hair, fingers digging into his scalp as your stomach dipped in crazy hot pleasure, legs writhing around the bed as your tried to anchor yourself to the mattress. It was unbelievable how wild he turned you from just a kiss, and slowly you felt him begin to rock his hips against you again, testing the waters. You could feel him growing harder inside of you, stretching you out once more and you wrapped your legs around his hips, wriggling your hips and beginning to meet each thrust.

He grunted, kissing back up your chest until he met your chin, kissing up to your ear and sucking on the lobe, sending shivers up your spine, the feeling unbearably good and you dug your nails into his shoulders, moaning louder as his thrusts grew more forceful.

“See what you do to me,” he panted, voice strained. “You’re amazing.”

You jumped a little when both his hands clasped around the bed frame, thud echoing in your ears as he used his weight to thrust his whole body into you, your legs sliding off him to settle wide on the bed. You could feel him everywhere, hitting as far as he could go until he bottomed out with every push of his hips, choked moans leaving you as you tried to control yourself but you couldn’t help but pant his name, hands playing with the small of his back and the curve of his ass, desperate to have him as deep as he could go. You could feel the sweat coating his flesh and see the sheen that covered his chest. He looked mouth-watering, hair in his eyes as he looked down at you, teeth gritted.

He was all yours.

The thought hit you hard, your heart swelling inside your chest. You had never really let yourself feel this in the past, always something holding you back, fear of getting hurt or it all blowing up in your face. But now it was different. He was all yours. He was in love with you. There was no longer a reason to hide.

His dick slid in and out of you freely, your arousal coating him and yourself profusely, although it was mixed with his come, and the thought turned you on even more, realising he was fucking his own arousal into you over and over again. You were so full with him, you wondered if some of the white liquid was spilling out of you, slick sounds filing the room mixed with his grunts and your moans as your imagination ran away with you.

“F-fuck,” you choked, finding your voice finally. “Hoseok, you feel so good.”

“Yeah?” He got out.

“Mm,” you moaned. “So good. I missed you,” you chuckled breathlessly.

“Me or my dick?” He teased, eyes flashing with mischief as he dropped one hand from the bed frame to trace a line down your chest, circling around your belly button when he hit your stomach, his thrusts slowing for a moment.

“B-both,” you grunted. “All of it—please don’t stop. I’ll cum soon.”

“That’s good to know,” he said, “want a helping hand?”

You nodded vigorously, stomach stirring in fresh pleasure, clit pulsing in anticipation before the pads of his thumb and index finger pinched the hardened flesh lightly. You groaned, pressing your head back as far as it would go into the pillow as he worked his hips into you harder, skin slapping against skin, rubbing against you now as you let the pleasure take over your body, the tension twisting in your stomach. You clenched your eyes, words spilling out of you, unstoppable now, although certified trash, you couldn’t even hear yourself.

“God, I’ve missed the way you moan,” he exclaimed, thighs locking your legs down to the bed so you couldn’t squirm. “Always will be so good for me,” he murmured lowly, inferno blazing in the pit of your stomach at his words. Even when he was overcome he was still hot.

Your walls were clenching around him nonstop about a minute away from coming, holding your breath because you knew if you did so it would happen quicker, blood supply getting caught off and coating you in mind numbing pleasure. You kept your bottom half still, your hands clasping around Hoseok’s waist, forcing him harder inside of you.

“Hoseok—oh g-god,” you cried. “I’m gonna cum—cumm-ing-g,” you bit out, and he growled as he felt you spasm around his dick, freezing under him with him a long drawn out moan, tears pricking in the corner of your eyes and then sliding down your temples.

He stopped thrusting almost instantly, hand falling from between your legs to dangle in the air as his stomach muscles tightened. He was letting you milk him dry, no need to move and it wasn’t long before he was filling you with his seed again, groaning as his head shot back. Knowing so much of his come was inside of you filled you with so much pleasure you thought you were floating, your limps weak as you chuckled breathlessly, hearing him join you.

He pulled out of you slowly with a groan that told you he didn’t want to but he didn’t have a choice and you felt some of his arousal trickle down the inside of your thigh, staining his bed in the process no doubt. You weren’t expecting him to collapse straight on top of you, but he did just that, careful to not crush you, of course, and you basked in his warmth, giggling when he placed ticklish kisses against your neck.

“We should have a shower but I don’t want to get up,” he groaned against you.

“We can wait for a little bit,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around him, listening to his heart beating against your chest as his breathing evened out.

“Waiting sounds good to me,” he agreed, lifting his head to meet your eyes. “We have forever, right?”

You went to reply, your heart doing flips at his words but he kissed you, long and hard, out of breath once again.

“I love you, Hoseok,” you murmured once he pulled away, eyes dreamy and unfocused as you looked straight at him.

He was all yours. Everything had worked out. You were both finally happy.

“I love you too, ___.”

And with that he kissed you again, his hair falling into your face and tickling your nose, making you giggle. His heart swelled inside his chest.

#hoseok smut #bts smut #hoseok fanfic #bts fanfic #hoseok scenarios #bts scenarios #floralseokjin:writings #fic:aaysr

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floralseokjin · 7 years

Text

— ask and you shall receive | pt 3 (m)

pairing | jung hoseok x reader, sugar daddy! hoseok genre/warnings | smut, dirty talk, dom! Hoseok and then angst (eek time for realness after all that sex…) words | 13,269

» pt 1 :: pt 2 :: pt 3 :: pt 4 ✓

Three months later...

After that night where you consummated your agreement, the days stretched into weeks, and the weeks flew into months. Before you knew it, you and Hoseok had known each other for little over half a year. He was part of your life now and it was hard to imagine what it had been like before he turned up. It was definitely easier than before, and you hated to think it was because of the money he gave you in return for your company. Not that it was extravagant and not that you used him for it.

Your relationship with Hoseok was nothing like the sugar baby stories Jiahn had told you in the past. Although you guessed that was because you were nothing like the average sugar baby. You didn’t believe in using men for their money—well unless they were assholes, but then you’d like to think you had enough self respect in you to not even bother with dicks, regardless of how much they were paying you. You only felt comfortable in this agreement with Hoseok because he wasn’t like any other guy you’d met before. You know you’d hit the jackpot when you found him because he didn’t just exceed your idea of a “sugar daddy”, he exceeded your ideas of men!

You hated knowing you were taking money from him, because you knew you only wanted to be around him for just the company. He was everything rolled into one…friend, lover…boyfriend…even though he wasn’t that and would never be. He still acted like your boyfriend though—you were exclusive and in theory that’s what he was. Just without the label and the emotional attachment…you liked to think. Probably through the eyes of others you looked smitten with Hoseok…

But all that mattered was that you kept each other company and made each other happy. You learnt to ignore the little niggles in the back of your brain. Although some things were easier than others. It was easy to turn a blind eye to him paying for your meals when you were out together, or him buying you a new pair of shoes you’d awed at in the window of a department store. It was even easier to ignore the thudding in your chest whenever he was near or touched you—to ignore the ache in it too when he was away on business and you missed him—because you were never without him. Even when he was gone, he was always a phone call and a text away. You didn’t have time to question your feelings because there was nothing to question. Not when everything was going to so well.

What was hard though, and what weighed guilt on your shoulders, was when he ended up paying for other things, like your bills… Money in your account to fund your lazy couch potato life while not at college, like Netflix and Spotify were fine, but when he began to pay for your cell contract and rent, even some of his money dribbling into your grocery fund, it made you feel like shit. You didn’t feel bad for yourself at all. You no longer worried about feeling cheap for sleeping with Hoseok for dollar bills because that wasn’t the case at all. You had sex with him because you wanted to. You craved every inch of him, and you knew for definite, you’d still have sex with him if he was dirt poor and living in a shack. His money was nothing to you, but also it seemed to be all you had…

No, what worried you, was that he might feel put out. What if he began to feel like you were using him? You knew he’d only come into this agreement for companionship—the same as you too—but things had changed and now here you were… You didn’t want him to feel used, and despite him assuring you he didn’t when you had brought up your fears, you still couldn’t shrug it off. Half of you wanted to find a new job somewhere just so you could stop taking his money, but then you realised you’d have nothing left then… The thing that placed a marker between your relationship, helping you cross that invisible line over and over again, between sexual and romantic need was his sugar daddy status. Without that you’d be both forced to find answers to questions you didn’t understand. Without that he would have no reason to stay…and that scared you. More than you’d like to admit.

The only thing that kept you going was the idea that if this was any normal relationship, where you were two people in love and living together, you graduating college with a full-time job, then it would be only obvious you’d share bills and he’d purchase items for you… But it wasn’t like that at all. Not in reality. You were a college student, living with your best friend while maintaining a secret relationship with your sugar daddy. This was no fairy-tale.

Not that it stayed secret from Jiahn for long. The parents gave you more of an allowance ruse could only last so long you guessed. At first she thought you were just dating someone and you went along with that. The clues were all there anyway; going out infinitely more times than you usually did, staying the night away—sometimes numerous, your mood level influx changing so drastically, Jiahn thought your permanent grin was going to explode your head off your shoulders… You mean, it wasn’t hard to guess at all what was going on…or so she thought…

At first you went along with it, you even made up a little white lie of how you met him; downtown at the old restaurant you worked at—he’d taken your number to call you but had been busy with work, and then BAM here you were a few months on, dating him—but then she started to ask more questions. What he looked like, what his job was—when she was going to meet him… It had been getting harder and harder to beat around the bush then, and finally she found out anyway…

You blamed Hoseok, and to that he didn’t really have an excuse. It was his fault. He’d been away on business for a week and had decided to surprise you when he got back. You’d both grown accustom to avoiding when Jiahn was at home to be able to be together—however most of the time you were at his—so he knew that she worked a night shift on a Saturday. Only this time, apparently, she was finishing a half shift, because you heard her keys in the door 10pm sharp, leaving you enough time to jump off Hoseok at the place on the sofa and quickly do the buttons up on your shirt.

She knew straight away that something was up. Call it intuition but she knew that Hoseok wasn’t just any old boyfriend picked up in downtown restaurant. He was dressed in a suit for crying out loud and the age difference was obvious enough to give away the last piece of the puzzle… That and the fact you’d had in depth conversations with her when she had suggested you get a sugar daddy! But despite all that, she was still shocked you had actually listened to her and sought one out. You didn’t know why, but your conscience wouldn’t let you admit you’d found him using your own initiative, so you kept at it with your fib…you met Hoseok at the restaurant you used to work at... Jiahn believed you, and you just went on with your daily life…

Although for some reason you couldn’t shake this odd concoction of feelings you had brewing inside of you—guilt and disappointment, and not just about lying to your best friend—It was with yourself too. When you really thought about what you were doing and the situation you were in, you felt horrendous. You didn’t even know why because Hoseok didn’t mind… It wasn’t like you were using him, and he knew that. You liked him, a lot, and the only way you seemed to forget about everything was when you were with him. Ironic, really…

Over the weeks that past, you found that you hung out with each other more and more, quite often than not spending days upon days at his. Hoseok said he liked coming home from work to find you on his sofa watching television and he liked it even better when he woke up next to you in the mornings. You still got fresh butterflies in your stomach when you thought of his words, just as strong as the first time. It was an odd state of affairs, but you didn’t want to look for the negative when everything was so positive. If you were both happy, why question it?

And just like that, you got into a glorious routine. It was as if you’d never been absent from each other’s lives. When he didn’t have work, or you didn’t have classes, you were with each other. And it wasn’t even just about the sex either… Sex with Hoseok was amazing. It had been eye opening and mind blowing from the very beginning. Everything with him was well paced and thorough. He paid attention to every little detail, down to the beauty marks on your skin. There was not a place he’d didn’t leave worshiped. He made sex an art form and you couldn’t imagine another man pleasing you the way he did.

But it was great to know it wasn’t the be all, end all of your relationship. After all, your agreement had just started out as companionship, so you knew Hoseok wasn’t in this for purely sexual motives. The way your relationship had progressed so naturally and excitingly was one of the things you cherished the most, and you were very happy Hoseok trusted you like this—thought so much of you like this, because you felt the same towards him. However, you were so in-tune with each other that you didn’t even crave each other in just one specific way. Sometimes you just wanted the company. Sometimes you were even both too tired to think about sex, and you would secretly admit to yourself, they were your favourite times. Being curled up in bed with him, his arms wrapped around him as he hugged you from behind was a feeling of pure bliss. A contentment you had never known existed until you met him.

Tonight though, definitely wasn’t one of those nights… You mean, you were drowning in bliss, but it definitely wasn’t from a cuddle… Hoseok had come around yours tonight. It rarely happened because there was no need to. You had a roommate, while he lived in alone, but it had been more of a surprise than anything. He’d found out he had to go away for the week on business starting Monday, and with no plans to see you this weekend already, he had surprised you with a visit. He couldn’t bear to be apart from you for so long without showing you how much he was going to miss you, and that’s how you found yourself on your bed, naked beside your bra, your legs wide open with his face buried in between them.

Your first orgasm hit like a tornado, obliterating your body and mind. The build up had been languid and torturous so when the crescendo hit you were seeing stars, adrenaline shooting through every vein in your body and exploding inside your head. Hoseok loved to eat you out real slow, taking his time as if you were a three-course meal laid bare for him, ready to feast on at his own leisure. You guessed you were…

His ministrations were slow and calculated, knowing exactly what you liked and how your body would react to certain actions. He would tease, giving you more, bring you up to that point just to leave you again, taking away your release and repeating, until your body was aquiver with pleasure. As well as his tongue, his fingers would always brush against your folds, playing with your hole but never entering, making fresh new waves of pleasure shudder through your lower back. Hoseok rarely went down on you and fingered you at the same time. There was no need to, not when he could make you come like this, minutes feeling like hours of torture until he finally let you get your release. Almost always when you least expected it and and it was always hard and powerful, euphoria filling your every nerve, making you breathless and flushed. Although tonight, you also had to bite down on your lip to stop the moans because of the company you had across your apartment…

“S-Stop,” you whined, “H-Hoseok…” You used a weak hand to tug lightly at his hair, trying, but failing to push him from the place between your legs.

He had been kissing down your thighs, his hands clamped down on your hips so when he began to nuzzle your heat again, soft lips kissing your sensitive flesh, squirming got you no where. He raised his head up, mouth hovering over your core as he cocked a smile, eyes twinkling up at you, teasing you. He was always teasing you. You don’t understand where his self control came from, but you knew it was something you didn’t have—not when it came to him. You had lost count of how many times you had begged for him to fuck you or let you come. You were no longer shy or coy, Hoseok had trained that out if you through the weeks and now you were positively shameless.

“You’re no fun,” he scolded playfully. “Don’t you want to cum again?”

“Of course I do, but I need some recovery time,” you exasperated, voice still weak as you lived on in your blissful state.

He chuckled, placing a kiss on your hip bone as he pulled away and crawled up your body, giving in easily to your surprise. Usually he knew exactly how to coax your body ready for another orgasm to hit. Maybe he knew how loud a second one from you could be and he didn’t want to run the risk of being heard by Jiahn. Hoseok was always the gentleman and he believed in keeping your sex life private.

He met your lips as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, feeling your digits mould into his hot, smooth skin. You didn’t remember exactly when he had gotten shirtless…come to think of it, you didn’t remember when you had been stripped to just a bra, but here you were, skin boiling hot and clammy from your wild release, that with the feel of Hoseok’s lips against yours, only craved more once again.

You attempted to cling to his body, your hips rising off the bed to grind against anything you could have. You were aware your arousal mixed with his saliva was staining his black pants, but that’s what dry cleaners were for and really, it was his fault for not taking them off in the first place. Hoseok seemed to like it when you were stripped naked and he was fully dressed. It turned him on beyond belief. He liked control, but always subtlety. You liked it too. He was so in tune with your thoughts and body that you instantly felt relaxed with him.

“So horny and needy, my baby,” he teased, his voice low as he pulled away from your greedy mouth.

You whined and tried to reach for him again, but it was too late, he was already making his way off the bed. He stood up and surveyed you with a cocked head. You took the time to admire him, the way his dark hair ruffled in his eyes where you had pulled at it while he was between your legs and the way he stood there shirtless, his black pants tights around his erection that was more than visible. The view made your stomach do flips, especially when he began unzipping his slacks and you sat up, making your way over to the side of the bed, sitting in front of him. His skin glowed in the moonlight as he stripped, the sound of his pants hitting the floor in one fell swoop, making your stomach now dance in delight. Even more so when he removed his underwear, his hard dick bouncing free as he pushed aside his clothing with his feet. Seeing Hoseok naked, no matter how many times, still had an alarming effect on you. You could never get enough of him and his body, and all the wonderful things he could do with it.

You shamelessly shimmied closer to him, hands reaching to cup his bare hips as you pressed your chin flat against his lower abs, looking up at him innocently, like his dick wasn’t bobbing near your chest, soft skin brushing against hard nipples now and then. He met eye contact and you felt his hands reach around your back to unclasp your bra, the velvet falling between your bodies, brushing delicately across his cock, the sensation slight but enough for him to close his eyes in silent pleasure. You quickly removed it, leaving you both truly bare now and you resumed your position, now placing small kisses on his abdomen. His muscles flexed as you did so, matching his dick that twitched against your breasts.

“Always so compliant,” he observed, one of his strong hands weaving into your hair as he pulled your head straighter, his action gentle but firm.

It was always like this. You waited for his next move. It wasn’t like you couldn’t speak up and take the wheel for once, but you just preferred not to. Hanging off each word Hoseok said was much more exciting and it definitely turned you on more than you could describe. You loved to stay silent, waiting his actions with innocent eyes as he decided what he wanted to do next—how he wanted to fuck you would have been the right contemplation tonight. And sometimes he just purposely took his time because he loved to make you wait—more waiting meant more begging in the end…and Hoseok loved hearing you beg.

“Anything for you, daddy,” you teased, an obvious glint in your eyes as well as the tone of your voice. “What do you want?”

The playful name that fell from your tongue wasn’t meant to be serious. It was a word you had joked around with one night when Hoseok had suggested using something to address him. That was something you’d definitely never done before and you’d been stumped, teasing him with the one word you knew and he’d laughed it off. Daddy was most definitely a joke, but it was still fun to use every once in a while. Especially when it seemed he got off on it just a tad.

There was silence as Hoseok contemplated your question, his eyes dark, a lustful haze clouded over them and you stared up at him patiently, mouth parted and eyes wide. You could tell he’d made up his mind when he bit down on his lip, a hum leaving him as excitement pooled in his orbs. “I want to fuck you, of course.”

Your core tingled at his words, stomach dipping with excitement as you pulled back a little, hands flat against his hard abdomen and you smirked, “how do you want me?”

There was a pause and then he growled, “on your knees.” You had just enough time to have a moment of realisation, before his hands were on your body, twisting you on your knees as you squealed in excitement.

You made sure your ass was up high as you leant on your elbows, the air hitting between your legs, the cold sensation against your dried arousal spreading more pleasure through your body, the fiery pit in your stomach burning with such a ferocity your knees were already trembling, especially when you felt the bed dip, Hoseok taking place behind you. He was so close you could feel his body heat emitting from him, but he refused to press against you. Your whole being craved him and by the time you felt his hand glide across your spine, you whimpered, elbows giving out a little. Your walls were clenching like no tomorrow, eager to be filled, eager to suck Hoseok right inside and never let him go.

His touch made you shiver, travelling all the way down your spine until he hit the crack of your ass, his fingers gliding over the soft flesh of one cheek gently, making you hold your breath waiting for his next move. You knew if you so much as breathed right now you’d become a quivering mess and collapse right under him. You gasped suddenly when you felt him squeeze the flesh hard, pushing it upwards as he moulded it in his palm. You instinctively went to push back, chasing the feeling of his hands on your body, fresh arousal pooling at your entrance, but he stopped you with his other hand, his palm digging into the small of your back, controlling your every move.

“Control yourself, woman,” he mocked, his voice low and gravely, and you give up trying to fight him, despite the burning inside your body that screamed at you to chase the pleasure you wanted so badly.

You whined again, this time pressing the side of your face into the covers in an attempt to curb your impatience. Hoseok continued to play with the soft flesh of your ass, squeezing and kneading it apart. Being so exposed turned you on beyond belief and you shut your eyes tight, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, imagining how good the sensation would feel when he finally pushed inside you. That was the only thing you were hanging onto right now.

His fingers slid down to your entrance, collecting your arousal on the tips of a couple of digits as he rubbed circles against you. You bit back a moan, slightly embarrassed by how needy you were being so quickly. Paired with the fact you didn’t want Jiahn to hear you and you were in a bind, head array of anxiety, but only one thing screamed out at you. You wanted Hoseok to fuck you. Your eyes rolled back inside your head the same time your body froze when you felt the hand that was on your back slide to your forgotten ass cheek, stretching it open as the digits that held your juices slid upwards, dangerously close to usually hidden hole. He stopped millimetres away from it but the pleasure was already there, sensitive in nature that shot your hips forward, making you jut and circle them wildly as his hand repeated the action.

He was feeling mischievous tonight. You could tell. There had been a few times where he had brought the butt conversation up, or so you liked to call it… It wasn’t like he flat out came out with, “hey, wanna try anal?”, but you and he and been very experimental in your weeks of exploring one another’s bodies and you guessed he was open to pretty much anything and everything. Butt stuff was an entirely new concept to you altogether. You had no problem with him touching or grabbing the goods—hell, even spanking was A-okay in your book—more than okay… However, anything more than that, like entering the restricted area made you feel a little nervous, fear surrounding two issues; pain and hygiene… Hoseok respected that. You had told him it was a maybe in the future, because to be perfectly honest, you trusted him with anything when it came to your body and he turned you on like crazy. Sex pheromones wild in the air, it wasn’t like the thought hadn’t popped inside your head on numerous occasions when you were getting intimate.

He was teasing you tonight. Testing how far you’d let him take it. He could read you like a book, he knew you were curious. So, here he was, easing you in, showing you it didn’t have to be scary. You weren’t aware of it, but your breaths were coming out sharper, hitching in your throat every time Hoseok’s fingers came right up to your puckered hole only to slide back down to your swollen sex. You were so hot for him, you were thinking about caving in and telling him to do whatever with your body, your ass cheeks twitching with anticipation, but then his hand disappeared from between your legs and he was pushing back the flesh with both his palms, exposing your core for his direct eye contact.

“Delicious,” he awed, “and all for me.”

You waited patiently for his next move, heart thudding loudly in your chest as you tried to gain your cool. Hoseok was a man of surprise and any moment now he—You gasped when you suddenly felt the head of his cock press against your entrance, the sound turning into a whimper as instant relief flooded over you. It wouldn’t be long. Not now. And you desperately tried to hold yourself up on all fours, lifting your head off the covers to breathe through your nose.

“So swollen and pretty,” he continued. “Just the way I like it—Tell me,” he wondered, “is there a time when your cunt isn’t like this for me?”

You groaned, his choice of words and his cockiness shooting straight to your heat, the fire ablaze in the pit of your stomach now as you struggled to keep your head clear. You were aware your walls were clenching around nothing, desperate to suck him inside of you, but alas, you weren’t that magic. So you did the next best thing, pushing back towards him and he tutted, moving back too so his dick disappeared from where you wanted him the most. You wanted to cry. This wasn’t fair. You could imagine his dick right there behind you, rock solid and standing proud and your body craved it. You didn’t understand how he had such stern self control.

You froze again when Hoseok’s hands pulled at your ass, pinching it a little to get your attention. “I said, tell me.” His voice was demanding, not a waver in sight. He was still calm while you…were not. You couldn’t even place what he was talking about, racking the tiniest part of your brain that was the last rational piece; the rest of it was just thinking of how good it would be to feel Hoseok inside of your dripping core.

You stuttered, finally realising what he was on about and you fought to get the words out, “t-there isn’t…”

“What isn’t?” He questioned, playing dumb.

You inwardly groaned this time because you didn’t even have the energy to nod. You were too strung out, and you dipped your head in slight embarrassment. He was going to make you say it. The dirty words were going to have to fall off your tongue. As if he sensed your coyness, he moved closer, head of his cock back against your aching core, telling you, if you did this, you’d be rewarded…

You inhaled deeply, needing time and a steady breath to enunciate each word clearly, because no doubt, if you didn’t, he’d make you say it again…and again…and again.

“My cunt is always like this for you, Hoseok,” his name came out slightly stiff, your teeth clenched together, but you had succeeded nevertheless.

There was a hesitation and then you heard him chuckle darkly, jumping in shock when his palm came down on your ass cheek, spanking you lightly, to be sure not to make much of a sound.

“Such dirty words for supposedly such a good girl,” he taunted, “well, that’s a lie—we all know you aren’t so good—Look at you!” He exclaimed, pushing your ass further apart causing your vagina to pulse in need, his dick still pressed against where you needed him the most. “You’re dripping down your thighs and I haven’t even touched you yet…”

You bit down on your lip, your eyes fluttering closed as you tried to find inner strength, your chest heaving slowly as he carried on, his hands rubbing the soft flesh of your butt.

“I’m going to have to wash your mouth out later…my cock will suffice.”

You let out a pathetic whimper, not being able to hold it in any longer. His words sending you into a tailspin. All you could feel was the head of his dick pressed against your entrance, your body positively vibrating with need. Your head dropped lower, your hands gripping the sheets in an attempt to anchor you down. Hoseok made no attempt to move and you knew where this was going… He was going to make you beg…

“H-Hoseok,” you murmured, shifting on your elbows but making sure to keep your hips locked still. “Hoseok,” you repeated. “Please-e.”

“Hm?” He wondered, playing dumb once again, but you felt him move one of his hands, gripping the base of his erection to begin rubbing the tip against your folds, coating the sensitive flesh in your arousal. Your knees buckled and he gripped your hip bone, holding you in place and in his mercy. “You know what to do, baby girl…just ask…” he encouraged, his voice gentle, soothing you.

“I-I want you,” you croaked, feeling brave enough to jut your hips into his dick as he continued to play around, running it along your clit and you groaned, the slightest of pleasures bursting through your veins like an explosion.

“That’s not a question,” he deadpanned, but he didn’t pull away, even going as far to circle your hole, head saturating in the wetness of your folds.

You tried again.

“Please-e, Hoseok…fuck me…f-fuck me,” now the words were out, they couldn’t be stopped. You needed him so badly you didn’t care how pathetic you sounded. You knew he got off on it anyway. He loved knowing you craved him.

“Shit, Hoseok,” you whined. “Please will you fuck me? I need you so bad…”

He pulled away from your core and for a second you thought he was going to tease you some more, frustration balling up in your stomach as your eyes stung, seconds away from being reduced to tears. But instead, he gripped you ass again, crouching down for a moment to whisper, “hold on tight,” and then there it was. You had about enough time to grip the sheets under you as tight as you could, feeling him straighten up and then just like that, he slid right inside or you.

You moaned loudly—maybe a little too loudly—but you were so overcome with pleasure you didn’t know how to express it. There was something about going from nothing to full in a second that had you clenching around his dick in pulsations, the stretch the most satisfying, your walls hugging him like they hadn’t seen him in eons. You could hear Hoseok breathing deeply behind you, his fingers squeezing your butt cheeks as he stayed perfectly still, revelling in the softness and warmth of your walls.

“F-Fuck, baby…” he chuckled breathlessly, and you were happy to hear the tremble in his voice. “Someone’s missed me…or just my dick…?”

You twisted your body, trying to make him move as you spoke, “I’ve missed both.”

It was true. You hadn’t seen him for a couple of days, and when you had, sex wasn’t an activity you were indulging in—not that it mattered, but yes, you had missed both and now he was here for the night before he had to jet off Monday morning and all you wanted him to do was fill you up and fuck you, reminding you what it felt like and giving you a taste of what was to come when he arrived home…

“That’s good to know,” he replied, and you swore you could visualise the smile on his face.

You had no time to bask in it though, because he began thrusting inside of you, pulling all of the way out to just slide back inside. This time you bit down on you bottom lip, stunting the sounds that wanted to leave you. He wasn’t even moving that fast but it was enough to fill you with pleasure, willing your body to stay up because you were failing with each snap of his hips. Small groans of pleasure were leaving his mouth as he gripped your flesh hard, spreading your cheeks further apart. You knew he had a perfect view of his dick sliding in and out of you right now, coated in your juices. You could hear how wet you were, feel it coating your vagina and sticking to your legs. The sound of skin on skin against each other filled the room, a slap sounding every time his hips hit your ass. You were huffing and puffing as he picked up the pace, desperate to stay quiet.

“You have such a pretty ass,” he awed and your stomach somersaulted.

You hadn’t paid attention to how exposed you really were… You felt his fingers flutter down the curve of your ass, gentle as always, soft and cautious. Desire snarled inside you, each nerve in you body so sensitive you craved everything he could give you.

“So inviting,” he mused, his voice low and you were so caught up with what was happening you hadn’t realised he’d stopped dead inside of you. “Let me pleasure you more…”

Your breath hitched as you felt his thumb fall into the crack of your ass, ever so lightly tracing your delicate hole. The feeling was foreign, forbidden, almost like you shouldn’t like it, or it shouldn’t be pleasurable, but here you were, ecstasy shuddering up your spine and suddenly, you could feel everything. Your senses heightened, you were aware of his length inside you, pulsing and scorching hot, burning a hole inside you as you longed for him to fuck you again. You pushed back against his thumb, urging him to continue, greedy for the feeling.

Hoseok’s next intake of breath was sharp, as if he was hissing, readjusting his hips behind you as he began to drive into you again, taking his time as he warmed your body up, his thumb rubbing circular motions against your puckered rim, applying more pressure as you eased up, back relaxing.

“That’s it,” he hummed, thrusting deeply into you, making you moaned. “You’re so beautiful… I live to make you feel good.”

You buckled at that, your chest hitting the bed, but Hoseok kept your hips up, one hand flat against the small of your back as he guided you over his dick, the other wrapped around one ass cheek, his thumb busy at work. You buried your face in the covers, muffling your moans. The sensation could only be described as sensory overload, the stimulation spasming through your body and clouding your brain. Mixed with his words, that equally spilt profanities and flatteries, making you blush crimson the same time time your heart swelled so much it ached. It was moments like this, you realised how your world completely and utterly revolved around Hoseok. How you couldn’t see or think straight when he was around…

Your whole being craved him. His warmth, his hands, his mouth, his body…anything he could give you, you wanted it. Pleasure so divine it was hard to believe he wasn’t a superior being. Hoseok went no further, thumb slick with your arousal that coated his dick and made each circular motion that more delicious. Although you knew all you had to do was ask. Whatever you wanted of him, he’d give it to you, but you were already having trouble keeping a steady grip on reality. You knew this wouldn’t be the last of our experimenting anyway, and Hoseok seemed to like the saying of one step at a time… Instead you concentrated on the feeling of him pleasuring you, bliss filling your body as you choked back whimpers. Being quiet during sex seemed to be harder than you thought, you’d gotten so used to projecting, showing Hoseok how good he made you feel… But you had to admit, there was something incredibly hot with having to keep silent. Hidden. And it made the intensity so much more. His pace was beginning to quicken, his own breathing becoming staggered, chasing your reaction but he was also becoming fidgety.

“Come up here,” he murmured, his voice soft and you were just about aware he was trying to get you to kneel up. “I want to be able to touch you, kiss you…”

Butterflies began fluttering wildly in your stomach, willing yourself up with the palm of your hands, limbs a shuddering mess. Hoseok noticed and began to help you, hand falling from your ass to wrap around your middle, the hand on the small of your back gripping your hip as he pressed you flush to his hard body. Your skin clung to each other, bonded by slick sweat. With the double stimulation over you were able to catch your breath, Hoseok’s movements languid and sensual as he buried his face in your neck, kissing and sucking marks into your skin. His large hand pawed at your body, gliding up your abdomen to cup your breasts and play with your nipples. You took refuge in his hold, letting him hold your body upright, despite how tired you were and how much you wanted to lie down and let him fuck you into the mattress.

“You’re so hot like this,” he rasped out, mouth against your ear, tangled in your wild hair. “I hope you know how crazy you drive me… I want to spend all my days buried deep inside your sweet cunt.”

Your stomach was back doing somersaults, his words overtaking your mind as moans escaped you shamelessly, forgetting the need to be quiet. Your nerves were still tingling, still sensitive and each thrust into your body was beginning to push you over the edge, the inklings of your impending orgasm apparent. Especially with the addition of his words. The validation to know that you weren’t the only one driven wild by this.

His force sped up, each snap of his hips more powerful than the next. His pelvis whacking against your lower back and suddenly, the hand that was on your hip slid down to your folds, long fingers teasing your clit as you bucked madly into his hand. You were shamelessly begging his name, past the point of no return and he knew that, feeling your walls clench sporadically around his dick every time he took home inside of you.

“Too loud, baby,” he scolded, voice tense as he fought with his own pleasure. “I’m going to have to use some force to shut you up.”

The teasing threat to his voice sent fresh shudders up your spine, more moans of joy leaving you when the hand that had been groping your breasts slid to your throat, touch as light as snow as he gripped the base of your neck. The excitement rushed through your veins, fighting to get to your brain before he obscured the blood flow.

He never squeezed hard at all, just enough pressure to make swallowing difficult, cutting off your voice box and making your body tense up. You would never trust anybody like you trusted Hoseok…. And no one would ever pleasure like he did—you knew that for a fact. Applying pressure to your throat always made you come harder and faster, the feeling so intense it took more than quarter of an hour to calm down after it…

“Ah—come on,” Hoseok gritted out, mouth right next to your ear and you let out a choked groan when he nibbled at the curve. “That’s it,” he urged, feeling your body fidget against his hand, two of his fingers now intently rubbing figure eights against your clit.

You wanted to look down and see it for your own eyes, but his hand restricted you. Instead, you had to imagine. Nothing got you off more than seeing his large, veiny hand between your legs, digits moving with expertise. You clenched your eyes shut, letting the feeling wash over you, nearly there, but needing something else…needing him to talk to you. You were sure one day Hoseok would be able to make you come just by dirty talking to you.

“I know you want to,” he urged again, pressing you against his solid body. You could feel his stomach muscles clenching against your back, feel the sheen of sweat sticking to you both and you grit down on your teeth, moving your hands behind you to grip onto his thighs, the muscles flexing under your palms with each thrust into your core.

It was his next line that had you coming so hard you felt like you’d been hit by a train, the euphoria shooting through your body, turning fire to molten lava.

“Come all over daddy’s cock.”

What started off as a joke shouldn’t have affected you so badly, but it was just the way the word rolled off his tongue as he rasped it against the shell of your ear. That’s all it took for you to start spasming around his dick, wanting to quite literally suck him inside and never let him go. You were greedy and you wanted to survive off the pleasure he gave you. He loosened his grip on your neck, letting you gasp through your release.

“F-Fuck, Hoseok,” you moaned, eyes rolling back into your head as he pinched your clit lightly, the last action needed it seemed. “Oh, my god—

As your body tensed through the orgasm, Hoseok’s hand falling from between your legs to grip your hip again and fuck you through it, you became dizzy, body tired after two earth shattering releases. Your hands fell from his thighs and he let you drop to the bed, removing his hand from your neck in the process.

You quite literally collapsed, face planting into the covers, your ass barely up in the air anymore. Hoseok slowed down, moving languidly inside of you as his hands caressed your lower back, the gentle movements soothing your exhausted body.

“Can you still go on?” He whispered, tone laced in concern.

You nodded madly, craning your neck to look at him. For a moment, you worried about what you looked like, but then you realised there was no need to care. Not when Hoseok looked at you as if you’d created the world with your bare hands.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled lightly, although it was thick with permanent arousal. “—turn around for me.”

You let him twist your body gently, falling out of you as your back hit the bed. He crawled over you as you instinctively opened your legs, mind still desperate for his cock to be buried inside of you even though your body was exerted. How he was still able to keep going was beyond you, not when you had been squeezing around him like a boa constrictor. How he had the mental strength to keep fucking your through that and be able to continue afterwards was something that awed you…and turned you on. Even more so when you observed the self control he had—his body wasn’t even trembling as he rubbed the head of his dick at your entrance again, catching your eye as he nodded for permission, ready to sink back into you. You smiled lazily, your arm reaching towards him so your hand could cup his face for a moment, allowing him to enter once again.

His thrusts were precise and deep, your eyes unable to leave his body as you stared at his torso, muscles clenching with each snap of his hips, the sweat shining on his flesh, flush with arousal. The sensation was intense and you sought his mouth to help swallow your moans, hands falling back against the headboard as he fucked you into the bed, large hands gripping your hips. His tongue was wild as he explored your mouth, his own throaty moans leaving him as he sped up one last time.

“Fuck, fuck,” he panted, face dropping to the crook of your neck. “I could really fuck you forever.”

You knew that was to signal his release. He always wished he could continue when he was close, and just like that he was lifting his head up, surprising you by looking you straight in the eyes, gaze intense as he filled you with his seed. You didn’t look away, your heart swelling inside your chest, the heavy thuds making it seem like it would explode there and then. Hoseok was so beautiful and he was all yours… You were drunk on him. Your mind a mess as your legs wrapped around his waist and clung to him, not wanting him to ever leave you.

He broke out of his spell after a few moments, orgasm passed and he kissed you once again, a small peck on your parted lips. You reluctantly let him go when he made motions to move, but you were happy enough when he fell to your side and wrapped his arms around your body. You quickly turned, your back pressing flush against his clammy chest, feeling his heartbeat and his heavy breaths in your ear—comforting you.

“Want to take a quick shower?” He whispered after a couple of minutes and you shook your head.

“I’m too tired.”

It was true. Your limbs were burning and your eyes were drooping. It wouldn’t be long until sleep found you, especially in Hoseok’s arms.

“How about I bring you a wet towel?”

“I don’t want you to leave me…” you whined, tiredness making you honest and shameless.

“But we’re dirty,” he chuckled, kissing the shell of your ear before he nuzzled into your neck.

“I don’t care,” you shook your head again, pouting with your eyes closed. “If I have to be dirty, I’m glad it’s with you.”

“I feel like I can take that a couple of ways,” he joked, waiting for a response but you give him nothing, half of your consciousness already shut off.

“Fine,” he sighed, giving in and nudging you playfully. “But only because I... because I don’t mind being dirty with you either.”

You were too overcome with sleep to notice his hesitation, not realising he could have very well been about to say something else, or what that something else may have been… You could just about remember Hoseok manoeuvring your body gently so you could both get under the sheets and then he kissed you on the temple, wrapping his arms around you once again.

“Goodnight, ___.”

You woke up a little groggy and sore, eyes wincing as you tried to get used to the morning sunlight seeping through your sheer drapes. You stretched your muscles and checked the clock—just gone 10am, and you groaned a little. You’d love to go back to sleep right now, but you had the rest of the day with Hoseok before he had to go away tomorrow morning. The realisation made you sad for a moment. Even though you knew you’d see him soon, you knew you’d miss him. You missed him even when he was in town anyway…

You turned to face him, sleeping on his back, hair stuck to his forehead, arms above his head. Your eyes travelled down his torso, a tinge of pleasure washing through you as you noticed the covers pushed down to his crotch, v-line muscles visible, soft hairs teasing you. You rolled closer to him, half of your body flat against his and began kissing his collarbones, tiny pecks, waiting for his reaction. He gave you nothing other than a half-asleep groan, still too out of it to notice. You carried on lower, somehow managing to straddle him over the covers and kissed down his chest. Knowing Hoseok would be away for a week, you needed to take advantage of your alone time together. You were feeling horny again, despite last night.

Once you got to his torso, he began to shift, waking up slowly, the sensitive touches on his stomach rousing him from his slumber. You looked up at him to watch his eyes open lazily, hands moving to push his hair out of his eyes, gaze falling on you.

“Good morning,” you grinned, fingers tracing patterns against his sides.

“Morning,” he greeted back, voice croaky and it set fireworks through your body. One of his hands reached down to cup the back or your head, running his fingers through the strands of hair. “What are you doing down there?”

You paused, knowing what was about to come out of your mouth would have never done so a couple of months back. But you were braver now. You knew how to get what you wanted. “I faintly remember you telling me last night you would have to wash my mouth out with your cock,” you smirked, biting down on your lip.

Excitement washed trough Hoseok’s eyes as he remembered and smirked back, hand sliding to your cheek, as he stroked it with his index finger.

“All in good time,” he whispered. “I want to sh—

“—shower first,” you interrupted, mimicking him playfully and he scoffed, bouncing his hips up so that you’d jiggle and stumble, not impressed with your impersonation.

You giggled as he eyed you, eyebrows raised and mouth open in disbelief, but you could see the amusement on his face and he couldn’t hold his laughter in for long.

“I’ll start it up,” you told him when it had died down, getting off him and standing up—wobbly, you may add—to grab your pyjamas that draped over the back of your chair, as Hoseok sat up, back resting against the headboard.

You had already put your shorts on and were half way stretching your cami over your head when your name was being called.

“___!!”

It was Jiahn, sounding from the outside your room. You paused to look at Hoseok and shrugged, wondering what she wanted. She did know he was here, so she knew better than to barge in. Before you could move, she was speaking again, and you knew her well enough to recognise the panic in her voice.

“Come out here for a moment.”

You gave Hoseok another look, verging on a pout, but turned to leave, opening your bedroom door and shutting it behind you without looking up. You made it two steps when you finally did and then you stopped dead, horror flowing through your veins.

“Mom? Dad?”

There beside the door of your apartment your parents stood, beaming at you. You took a panicked glance at Jiahn who was leaning against the kitchen unit and she eyed you with a look of horror, hugging her mug of coffee in front of her.

“Surprise!” Your mom bellowed, and more dread filled through you.

“W-What are you doing here?” You managed to stutter, taking a look behind you, knowing Hoseok was hidden just metres away. You prayed he stayed hidden.

“Don’t sound so excited,” your mom continued, reading your attitude straight away.

It wasn’t even that. You would have been ecstatic to see your parents given any other time. But not right know when there was a man, who paid you to keep him company, naked in your bedroom. Not when you needed a shower because you had dried sweat and come all over your body…

“Your father found out he had the day off tomorrow so we thought we’d come down and surprise you—We haven’t seen you in a while, right? It will be fun…”

You zoned out, letting your mother prattle on while you tried to stay calm. Maybe you could hide Hoseok, get cleaned up and dressed and then take your parents out for the day. Your heart fell at the thought of not being with Hoseok on the day before he had to leave, but it was better than the alternative. You shook your head, forcing yourself to listen to whatever the hell your mother was still saying.

“…we’ve already checked into our hotel for the night, so the day is hours. What do you want to do? Oh, ___, you haven’t even had a shower yet—it’s quite late, you know—

“Dear, it’s a Sunday,” your father interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Let the girl have some rest—

To your dismay, and his shock, your dad never got to finish his sentence because he was too distracted by the opening of your bedroom door. Your body froze as you felt Hoseok’s presence behind you. This couldn’t be happening. Why had he come out?!

“Oh,” your mom exclaimed quietly as Hoseok moved to the side of you.

You could cut the tension with a knife, your eyes shooting over to Jiahn’s across the room in despair. She eyed you back, just as horrified as you. You couldn’t dare look at Hoseok, you wanted the ground to swallow you hole.

“Mom…Dad…” you began, not really knowing where you were going with this.

“Who’s this?” Your father asked, defensive up.

Of course it was. What did it look like to him? Some strange man, visibly a few years older than his daughter coming out of her bedroom. You braved a look towards Hoseok’s bottom half, thankful to see he had sweats on—although you really doubted he’d come out naked anyway…but right now you weren’t thinking straight. Did you look presentable? Or did you look like you’d been busy all last night…? You dreaded to think…

You stuttered, wondering what the hell to call Hoseok. Friend wouldn’t do. Sugar daddy was incredibly too honest and well…you couldn’t go for the most obvious in your parents’ eyes…boyfriend… You tried again.

“T-This is—

“I’m Jung Hoseok,” he interrupted, saving you from the awkward moment as he carried on. “___’s boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?!”

Your mom sounded just as shocked as you felt. The colour drained from your face, your heart beat practically nonexistent. That one word was making you dizzy, a word that shouldn’t be falling from Hoseok’s mouth… Instead of looking at him, because you weren’t sure you could hide the shock on your face, you caught your best friends eye again. She looked as perplexed as you felt. Unable to take her gaze off the situation. You didn’t blame her, it was like something out of a soap opera, and just as the thought popped into your head, you watched Hoseok make his way over to your parents to shake their hands.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. ___, Mrs. ___.”

It was like he was magic. Charm washing from him as he smiled at them and you rolled your eyes as your mom swooned a little. She broke so easily. But then again, it was Hoseok…what did you expect.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend?” She asked you, as if she was telling you off, her eyes lingering on his face as she tried to address you. Hoseok grinned down at her. He looked calm and collected and you wondered what the hell was going on in his head.

“I-I….” You trailed off, unsure of what to say at all.

“How long?” She pressed and your mind went blank.

Hoseok noticed and walked back over to you, casually draping an arm over your shoulders. Somehow his scent soothed you, even if just a tad.

“For quite a while,” he replied for you, realising you were frozen stuck. “A few months, right ___?”

You nodded slowly, forcing yourself to look at your parents and smile, hoping it didn’t look too forced. You felt as if you were on pins, even more so because you knew Jiahn was watching all this enfold. You had never felt more awkward in your life.

“Well, this is great!” Your mom exclaimed. “Isn’t it?” She asked your father, who nodded and smiled. Great, even Hoseok’s charms had worked on him.

You jumped when your mother clapped her hands together loudly, the slightest sound triggering you. “We must go out to celebrate! How about tonight, a meal!”

“No, Mom…” you dismissed. You couldn’t think of anything worse.

“Are you working?” She asked and even more dread washed over you. You had told her you were still working in some restaurant down town…keeping up with lies was so exhausting and all you wanted to do was lie down in a dark room for a whole week. That’s if you survived these next few hours…

“I have the weekend off…” you lied, shaking your head, accidentally catching Jiahn’s disappointed gaze.

“That’s great then! We can make a booking somewhere, surely?” Your mom continued, eager to press on.

“Hoseok has to go away tomorrow, I don’t think he can make it,” you tried again, saving yourself more awkwardness.

As if he would want to have dinner with your parents. It was embarrassing and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. However, your jaw dropped when Hoseok interrupted you, squeezing your shoulder comfortingly.

“No, its fine,’ he smiled. “As long as I’m back at a reasonable time to catch my flight.”

“That’s sorted then!” Your mom gleed. “I’ll ring around a couple of places—oh, this is so exciting!”

“So, what’s your job?”

You knew this question was coming as your father surveyed Hoseok from across the table. You’d managed to make last minute reservations as an Italian restaurant, and now it was time for the interrogation.

The rest of the day has passed by awkwardly. You didn’t know if it was inside your head or what, but you couldn’t look Hoseok in the eyes for more than two seconds. Neither of you brought up the boyfriend word and you couldn’t tell if he was unfazed by it, or if he was just a really good actor. You didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know what this meant. He’d seemed fine when he’d left to get ready for the meal, and even more fine when he had come to pick you and your parents up, letting your mom sit up front with him as she complimented how great the car seat heating was. Now you were here, mid-meal and just waiting for something to go wrong… Like this…

“Oh,” Hoseok hummed, placing his cutlery down and picking up a napkin. “I work in an office…” You watched as he wiped his mouth with the white fabric, knowing what was about to come…he couldn’t just leave it as ‘the office.’

“...I’m a CEO.”

“CEO?!” Your dad half choked, picking up his napkin and wiping around his mouth too, shock visible on his face. “Blimey…”

You could tell by the look in his eyes that it was all making sense now. You mean, no average person could afford a car like Hoseok’s… the age difference also made sense, although hardly five years, but enough to raise eyebrows on worrying parents… Luckily, they were traditional and not Jiahn, so they probably had no clue what a sugar daddy was, let alone piece together the measly information they had to come to such a conclusion. No, they probably just thought their daughter had struck lucky…

“That must entail a lot,” your father continued and to your surprise, Hoseok seemed more than happy to talk about it.

“Yeah, I actually have to—

“Hoseok!”

The call of his name interrupted him and he turned to the direction of the sound. So did you, the woman’s voice picking your attention.

“Oh, my god!” came another exclamation as you viewed a girl, maybe a couple of years older than you. She was exceptionally pretty, tan skin, dark eyes and a prefect figure that was accentuated by her tight black dress. “Hobi!”

The nickname caught you off guard, and you guessed they must have been close because of that. An odd feeling stirred in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t jealously…but something like a terrible feeling…a bad omen…

“Veronica,” Hoseok greeted, and you knew him well enough to notice the tensity in his voice as he turned to view her. “Hi…How are you?”

Something twigged inside you then. You didn’t know why. Maybe it was because you were in the same position now. You knew how Hoseok and this woman knew each other. You could tell by the way she looked at him. You could tell by the way he was acting so stiff. You suddenly felt sick.

“I’m great, you?” She grinned, not giving him enough time to reply before she was babbling on, hand touching his shoulder, long nails painted red. “It’s so amazing to see you!”

“I—Yeah,” he struggled, body posture stiff. “The same right back.”

Your table went quiet as you and your parents waited politely for him to converse with the beautiful stranger. You watched on, as if you were in a movie, not quite feeling like this was reality. You didn’t feel like you were here right now. Like this was actually happening. Hoseok looked around at the table awkwardly, obviously racking his brains, wondering how he was going to introduce her.

“This is an old…colleague,” he finally chose, but you were very aware he didn’t make a point of looking you in the eyes. He knew you weren’t stupid. He knew you understood what he really meant. You felt the bile rise up in your throat, the word running through your brain, making you dizzy. Colleague, colleague, colleague. Is that what he classed you as?

“Colleague?” The stranger cackled, highly amused as she leaned in closer, hand squeezing his shoulder. “Is that what—

“This really is such a coincidence,” Hoseok interrupted, shrugging her hand away so it fell to her side. “You being here tonight…”

She paused, looking taken back for a moment and finally she looked up at your table, taking in your parents and finally you. Her gaze was knowing, as if she knew immediately what you were to Hoseok. Just like you had to her. “Oh,” she let out, her eyes dropping to the $200 Tiffany’s bracelet that adorned your wrist. “Small world, right?”

“It is,” Hoseok agreed, all though he sounded deflated.

You hardly noticed. Too busy looking at the silver on your wrist too. Eyes boring into the metal that seemed to be burning your flesh right now. Hoseok had bought it for you after a business trip a couple of weeks ago and even though you hated when he spent money he didn’t need to on you, you had been secretly over the moon. You had worn it everyday since. It was something that you could look at and think of him instantly. How stupid you had been. Now all you could see was how much it reminded you of his money. His money that helped you live and the money you took willingly.

“Okay, well,” Veronica smiled, turning to look across the restaurant. “I should get back to my table. Have a great night.”

“You too,” Hoseok nodded, “bye, Veronica.”

You kept your eyes on her, following her steps until she sat at a table. The man she was with must have been in his early 50s, dressed in a suit that looked as expensive as Hoseok’s car. Another guy to get what she wanted. An income upgrade too, it seemed. Would that be you in a few years?

Everyone went back to eating but you couldn’t touch another mouthful. You felt sick. With yourself or Hoseok, you couldn’t work it out. Both.

You were aware he was trying to catch your attention, gaze watching you intently as your parents made small talk, still painfully unaware it hurt. You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t stomach it. You couldn’t believe how foolish you had been. How could you have thought you were the only one? The first one?! How many had there been before you?

The jealously ate away at you and you hated yourself. You didn’t have any right to be, but as Hoseok’s hand reached for your leg under the table, giving it a comforting squeeze, you couldn’t help but reach for it and push it away. His eyes stayed on your profile for a moment before your dad asked him another question and he had to look away.

You tried hard to act natural, praying for the night to end quickly.

Finally, after what felt like eons, you were back at your apartment. You’d said goodbye to your parents at their hotel and Hoseok had driven you back home—in silence you’d add. A part of you wanted him to go back to his but he followed you up and now here you were, stood in the middle of your living room in awkward silence. The only saving grace being that Jiahn was working nights. You didn’t want another witness again…

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asked, breaking the silence as he watched you sit down on the sofa.

He stood by the arm of the seat, not making any movement to sit next to you. Just like you made no action to reply. You dropped your head into your hands, sighing inwardly. Did you really want to bring this up…? You had been quite happy ignoring your concerns all this time…happy with what you had, but…but now, it was different.

You’d gotten hit with reality.

“She was like me, right?” You asked, lifting your head up and looking straight at him. “Veronica was the me before me…”

“Ah,” he let out, shifting awkwardly, eyes dropping to the floor. “Yes, but that was a while ago—

“I’m so stupid,” you scoffed over him, running your fingers through your hair. Hearing it from his mouth like that was much worse. It just confirmed that you hadn’t been the first one…

“What?” He asked, bemused.

“I thought I was your first,” you chuckled bitterly. “Just like you were mine.”

You didn’t understand why you were being so honest. Maybe the two glasses of wine you’d had at the restaurant had given you some dutch courage…

“___,” he murmured your name, knowing exactly what you were getting at.

“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head, “it was stupid to presume…”

It was true. Hoseok hand never specifically said you were the first he’d done this with. You’d just taken it as fact because he’d seemed so adamant it was just for company. You doubted this Veronica would have been happy with just accompanying him to dinners…. She was stunning, you bet Hoseok couldn’t resist her…

“There’s only ever been her and you.”

That didn’t make you feel better. It should have, or maybe, you shouldn’t have cared at all. Hoseok was allowed to have had a life before you. Just like you’d had a life before him… Even though your life had only started making sense when he appeared…pathetic really.

“Did you sleep with her?” The question was out before you could stop yourself, jealously clouding your rationality. He stayed silent and that just made you angry. “Did you fuck her?”

“___!” He exclaimed, shocked at your outburst.

“What?” You asked, incredulous. “I want to know… Don’t I have the right? Or do your playthings not get to know your past?”

The bitterness in your tone was obvious and he eyed you flabbergasted. “Stop that,” he dismissed. “Don’t talk stupid.”

That was you all over. Stupid. A silly little girl.

“It’s true,” you shrugged, acting unfazed, even though you were—you really were. “You’re just fucking me, no strings attached.”

“Stop,” he warned. “You’re drunk right now, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“What,” you asked, looking him dead in the eyes. “I’m just fucking you for money.”

If that’s what he was paying you for—what he had been paying Veronica for, then it was true. You meant nothing to him. This was a job. He paid you for your company, sexually and otherwise… You were a fool to think it was more.

“___,” he repeated your name, taken aback.

Were you not the girl he’d first thought? Did he not realise you could bite back when you needed to? When you were upset enough?

“Do you know how embarrassing that was for me back there?!” You asked him. “It was in front of my parents!”

“I know that,” he nodded, closing his eyes for a second, and you were glad he looked at least a little guilty. “That’s why I closed down the conversation.”

“Oh, well done you,” you spat.

Hoseok ever the diffuser. A man of so much self control he sometimes seemed like a robot.

“___,” he sighed lightly, rounding the corner and finally sitting down beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders softly. “Let’s go to bed and sleep on it.”

“I don’t want to,” you rolled your eyes, annoyed he was trying to stop you. “Who is she?”

It was a stupid question. What were you planning on finding out? Her full name, address, family history? You shouldn’t even care, but yet you did.

“She’s no one important,” he dismissed. “I’d actually forgotten all about her.”

That just made you feel worse. If you were to believe him, would he just forget about you too? Did you mean as little to him? Why was he still here, bothering with you?

“How long were you with her?”

He sighed again, but answered you. At least he was giving you that much. “Only two months.”

“You had sex with her, right?”

That answered your question. Their relationship had been purely sexual. You didn’t blame him. She was beautiful. Much more beautiful than you… You bet he hadn’t been able to take his hands off her. The thought and the images that plagued your mind made you feel sick. You shouldn’t have been bothered, you kept telling yourself that, but here you were…eaten up by insecurities. Hoseok was supposed to have healed those, but you were stupid…you should have known not to count on other people to learn to love yourself. It didn’t work like that…

“You didn’t waste any time…does that mean you didn’t like me as much? You settled for me?”

“What?” He rubbished. “You’re talking nonsense. There’s no need to tell you all this. It’s in the past, something that’s irrelevant,” he brushed off, finally losing some of his composure. “She was my first, the experiment, so you will…it didn’t work out because we wanted different things—

“So you came to me?” You interrupted, not being able to hold your tongue.

There was hesitation and you so badly wanted him to say no, but then he nodded and your heart practically broke.

“I did. What did you expect, ___? You met me on that app!”

You felt the need to defend yourself. You weren’t like those others. He should know that.

“But I’m not like that. I’m not like that girl,” you shook your head.

“I know you aren’t,” he agreed, but he still let his arm fall from around your shoulders, his hand landing in his lap and clasping his other. He seemed tense. “But this is what we are. It’s an agreement between two people. I pay you to keep me company. I nev—

“Please be quiet,” you whispered, begging him to shut up.

You didn’t want to hear him go on. You didn’t want him to crush your fantasises. You didn’t want him to remind you of your reality. There was silence for a moment as he let you drop your head into your hands. He didn’t go to comfort you and that just made you feel worse.

“___, I think you should go to bed now,” he spoke after a couple of minutes, his voice soft. Did he pity you? You hoped not. You couldn’t feel anymore foolish if you tried. “You’re intoxicated and it’s playing with your head.”

You groaned loudly, lifting your head back up. You weren’t drunk at all. Why did he keep saying that? Why did he keep shutting you down?

“The only thing playing with my head is you! I’m stuck, Hoseok. I’m stuck,” you repeated. “I don’t want your damn money, I don’t care about it at all. I care about you—but that doesn’t matter, does it?”

You sounded pathetic. Like you were about to burst into tears at any moment. You were. But you held it in. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“If you’re unhappy with our agreement, all you have to do is say. We can terminate it and then it’s over.”

You scoffed silently. It was getting worse and worse by the minute. Why was he acting like this?!

“Don’t say that. I’m trying to tell you how I feel here! Stop acting all professional!” You yelled. “This isn’t a business deal you just ‘terminate’. This is real life! Real feelings.”

Hoseok sighed loudly now, obviously bothered. Bothered by you and your melodramatics. “Let’s just not have this conversation right now—I need to wake up early tomorrow morning to leave.”

“I was so wrong about you,” you shot, eyeing him as if he was a new person.

He wasn’t the Hoseok you had fallen for—yes, fallen for. It was evident now. You liked him. You wanted him. You needed him. But he wasn’t who you thought. The Hoseok you thought you knew was upfront and logical. He was able to confront anything and anyone…but here he was, shutting you down over and over again.

“You can’t talk about feelings at all, can you? I thought—

“I’m not talking about them, because there’s none to talk about,” he cut you off and your body froze. “You only think you care about me because I’m giving you things…”

You were speechless. One look at his face telling you he might truly believe that. How wrong he was! Did he really think so little of himself?

“You really think that?” You asked him, inching forward to make him realise he was wrong, your hands reaching for his as you clasped them. You never wanted to let them go. This was your home. He was your home. You didn’t care if were swimming too deep. You wanted him to realise how much you cared for him.

“Hoseok, I don’t care about that. I just want to have you…only you.”

“Trust me, ___...I’m not worth it. I’m not who you think I am,” he brushed you off. One of his hands breaking free of yours, making your heart drop, but instead, he cupped your jaw. “You just said that. You’re right, I can’t talk about feelings, I can’t express myself with words like this…I can’t do this to you. I’m only messing with your head.”

You shook your head, defiant now. “Did you not just hear what I said?! I only want you. I don’t give a shit about your money, Hoseok.” You were begging now, desperate for him to believe you. To show he was worth it, despite what trepidation clouded his head. “You could lose it all tomorrow and I wouldn’t care.”

It was the truth. You didn’t care about all that. You never had. You knew from your first meeting with Hoseok that he was special. You got on like a house on fire and you didn’t want him to leave you. You wanted him.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he told you, hand dropping from your face, trying to create some distance between you, but you clung to his shoulders instead.

“I do! Hoseok, you called yourself my boyfriend earlier. Do you know how good that sounded? That could be a reality. I don’t care about money, it was never about that—well, in the beginning it was but not now—not for a long time…”

You were beyond desperate to make him see. You were being brave and you needed him to see how much you wanted this.

“___...” he hesitated. “I said the boyfriend thing because it was the only choice… You weren’t going to say it, so I did…”

Your heart sunk as he pried you off him, voice stern to match his eyes as he carried on. Body language stiff, as if he’d made up his mind. And you weren’t going to like it.

“I do this, because I’m not looking for a relationship… it’s not about sex—Hell, that’s why me and Veronica never worked out… I wanted company and I confused that with sex—and when I tried to change it, I fell into the same mistakes again…with you…”

“Are you saying I forced you into this?”

Everything was hot. Your face burnt, your insides ached. Your heart clenched together, vice like grip crushing your lungs in the process. You. Would. Not. Cry…

“No!” He exclaimed loudly, desperate not to hurt you… Well, too late for that… “That’s not what I meant. I love being with you and I care about you, but… I’m not looking for anything serious—I’m too busy…”

You wanted to challenge him. Of course he was busy. You saw that, but you both had been practically in a relationship for six months. He had made time for you, so that excuse was bullshit. You wanted to shout at him, but you didn’t have the energy. What was the point?

He was impenetrable.

“I’m sorry, ___,” he murmured, and then he was moving. He was leaving you. All alone. “I think I should go home. My flights early and I don’t think you really want me here right now…”

That wasn’t true. You didn’t want him to leave you. You wanted him to stay and comfort you. To hug you as you cried. But it was stupid. How could someone comfort you like that when they were reason for such sadness? Hoseok knew that, that’s why he was leaving.

“We’ll talk when I get back, okay?” He told you, standing up before hesitating, and he leant down to place a small kiss to your forehead.

You bit down on your lip, willing to keep your composure. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. Not now. Not ever. You kept your eyes trained to the floor, hearing him walk to the door, opening it before there was silence, another pause before he spoke again, “goodnight. Take care.”

Then the door closed and you heard his footsteps walk away from you, the clack of his soles turning muffled until they were no more. You were all alone. He was gone, without a second glance.

With all the time you had known him, he had never run away from a situation. In fact, you had never argued with each other… You guess that’s what the problem was… You had never told each other what you were truly feeling, choosing to both bury your heads in the sand. And when you had been brave enough to finally do so, he had bolted. Leaving you ashamed and confused…

You looked at the bracelet on your wrist, feeling all the emotion well up inside of you, bubbling to the surface, past breaking point, and you finally let your tears fall, feeling nothing but loneliness.

#my heart hurts a little #hoseok smut #bts smut #bts fanfic #hoseok fanfic #bts scenarios #hoseok scenarios #floralseokjin:writings #fic:aaysr

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