#feeling excited to write again tho which is good! i always get bogged down when i stick to one Big project for too long | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dylanhawth · 3 years

Text

[ LORENZO ZURZOLO, CISMAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! DYLAN HAWTHORNE, the TWENTY year old SECOND year ANTHROPOLOGY major from HARTFORD, CT is known as a TOURMALINE around here. HE was invited to join because HE PUBLISHED A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES ANONYMOUSLY THAT GARNERED A BIT OF FOLLOWING AND RECENTLY STEPPED FORWARD AS THE AUTHOR, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE NERVOUSNESS OF A FIRST KISS, LEAVING SECRET MESSAGES IN LIBRARY BOOKS, DRIVING AIMLESSLY WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN ON A WARM SUMMER NIGHT WHILE THE RADIO HUMS A PLAYLIST CURATED FOR YOU BY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

[ big ass bio ] | [ connections ] | [ pinterest ] | [ playlist ]

ooc.

omfg hello. i can’t tell you how excited and happy i am to be here. i was too nervous to apply for the last three months but i decided to stop being a Coward and just try. im SO happy to be here, it’s the highlight of my week tbh lmao. anyway i am mar, she/her, 24, est. i live in nyc and all i do is visit the planetarium and cry. i’m so fucking bad at these so im just gonna LIST things and hope you get the vibe. i am a pisces sun, scorpio moon. i prob have a napoleon complex a little bit lmao. my favorite social media site is goodreads and i get rlly sad when my friends rate books i love poorly dfljskdfs. i can touch my tongue to my nose. i eat a lot of persimmons. i have a favorite rock at my local park that i visit a lot. idk dfskjls. i’m v friendly tho so pls hmu. i send a lot of memes, and love making meme edits for the chars so im rlly sorry in advance if you guys hate that.

01. basics.

NAME. dylan h. hawthorne. ALIASES. dyl, hawth. AGE. twenty. HOMETOWN. hartford, ct. GENDER. cismale. PRONOUNS. he/him.

02. appearance.

EYES. green. HAIR. brown. HEIGHT. 6”0 BUILD. lean. BIRTHMARKS / BURNS / SCARS. a birthmark the shape of australia on his left thigh. TATTOOS. n/a. PIERCINGS. n/a.

03. habits.

ALCOHOL ? socially. SMOKING ? socially. HABITS. fidgets in chairs. cracks knuckles and back often. nervous laughter. chewing on pencils. talking to his plants. dogearing books. staring off into space and applying chapstick for a prolonged period of time. getting overly competitive about boardgames. stress cleaning. carries a book in his bag always. night owl. incredibly impatient when the internet is slow. creature of habit when it comes to menus, orders the same shit over and over again. LIKES. feeding the ducks at the local pond. the smell of the earth after a rainstorm. the way music sounds coming from another room. kissing. watering his plants. inside jokes. making wishes in fountains. discussing a recently finished book with someone. making handmade cards for friends on their birthday. fireworks. coming of age films. packages wrapped in twine. jogs. the way friday nights feels when you’re with someone you love. the feeling you get leaving the movie theatre. DISLIKES. being late. having too many coins on him. coffee with no sugar. when people speak loudly in the library. doing laundry. handshakes with too much squeeze. receiving voicemails. untidiness. golf. charles dickens. lectures with no student input. hot weather. confrontation. being caught in a lie. losing his umbrella. people who cheat during games. rainboots. bad table manners. humidity.

04. personality.

MYERS-BRIGGS. infp. ENNEAGRAM. the helper. ZODIAC. pisces. TEMPERAMENT. melancholic. ALIGNMENT. neutral good. ARCHETYPE. the lover. POSITIVE. empathetic. sensitive. intelligent. charismatic. easygoing. gentle. loyal. passionate. romantic. humble. supportive. gregarious. playful. diligent. NEGATIVE. deceitful. gullible. finicky. naive. obsessive. perfectionistic. secretive. timid. possessive. weak-willed. indecisive. cynical. indulgent. summary: basically, dylan is a love starved, people pleasing nervous wreck. big ass nerd who wants to be everyones friend, wants to be liked SO BAD. very charming and charismatic, comes off as fairly confident and comfortable at first. is able to make everyone feel loved and like they’re the most important person in the world, however lacks a backbone. is both romeo and juliet, and just as dumb as both of them too.

05. hc’s.

dylan was a football player in high school, believe it or not. he was rather good at it too, which is sort of jarring considering his pacifistic nature. however, he DID land on someone incorrectly at some point during his senior year, and broke their wrist. he quickly abandoned the sport altogether because of how guilty he felt.

touched on this briefly but dylan really… loves indiana jones lmao. like, it’s quite ironic given his absolutely inability to be a badass, and lack of suaveness. however, he admires indy’s lust for adventure. he also was obsessed with the mummy as a kid. both of these were incredible sources in his very irrational decision to sudden anthropology. however, he does really love and admire anthropology. his favorite ethnography is the spirit catches you and you fall down, which makes him cry like a little bitch every time he even thinks about it.

he’s the second oldest, but he is also baby. he is SUCH a big momma’s boy. he misses his mom so much. he writes to her often, and of course calls her even more. despite being six-foot tall, he still goes home and rests his head on his mother's lap, falls asleep as she runs her fingers through his hair. he often tries to find native english plants and flowers to press, and mail back to his mother in the form of bookmarks. has nEVER STEPPED ON A CRACK IN HIS LIFE, BABY.

just leaves a shit ton of notes in books in the library. some are riddles, some are poetry, some are commentary on the book, some are doodles. just depends on how he’s feeling for that book. he doesn’t tell anyone he does it, but he’s waiting for someone to connect the dots with his handwriting and writing style.

speaking of plants, his room is basically a big greenhouse. he has so many plants, and takes serious care of them all. he has a little humidifier in his space for them, marks down when he waters what plants, and has a label maker to label them all with a name. they are all named after shakespeare characters.

dyl is a doodler, so much so that he contributes to the school paper as a cartoonist. his cartoons are usually just random thoughts he has, but sometimes they get political and he works marxism into them. (this man loves marx.)

[ suicide implied tw, death mention tw ] he dresses like a victorian boy in love with his roommate who has recently died of scarlet fever and in his mourning, plans to disappear in the bog by the school by mysterious circumstances and become a ghost that haunts the college with his lover. like lots of gray and slacks and ties ands ties and sweaters, lol. also he has glasses that he never wears because he can never find them! catch him squinting in your classroom because he can’t see SHIT. too shy to ask you for your notes though, doesn’t wanna inconvenience you! but when he’s Out on the Town®, he fucking wears like, tacky patterned shirts that are expensive but ugly. someone please help him.

all about fun socks! he loves owning socks that have dumb little images on them. if you get him a pair of fun socks, he’d absolutely go nuts. his entire week: made.

he leaves his roommate limericks when he senses they are sad. tapes em to the bathroom mirror or leaves them in the fridge. also loves buying people presents. tiny ones. like haunted looking things from second hand stores, or your favorite chocolate. also is the sort of friend that has EVERYTHING in his bag, in case someone cuts themselves or has a headache. can be a bit of a mom himself. it’s the little things, y’know?

prob still in his emo phase. listens to way too mcr to not be lmao.

eco-friendly king, will not stand for you not recycling.

if you will allow him, he will attempt to have a secret handshake with you. he’s a child. is dying for someone to memorize the parent trap handshake and indulge him.

cannot sit still in a chair. fidgets an excessive amount, the bobbing of his knee and the squirming around. it just never ends.

bi. that’s the hc.

he’s a little bit in love with everyone he meets if you couldn’t tell, and it’s fucking disastrous.

he is based loosely off: patroclus ( the song of achilles ), ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ), laurie laurence ( little women ), eduardo saverin ( the social network ), remus lupin ( hp ), oliver marks ( if we were villains. )

( @opalsmedia )

#opalsintro #intro #his background and things are in the big ass bio dfsklds but this is the gist of it lol

30 notes · View notes

the-gay-in-the-way · 6 years

Text

Some Questions and Notes.

Question first, what series or AU or idea for a fic would you guys all prefer I work on first?

Like, which is your favorite and/or which one would you like me to work on as soon as possible?

There’s a lot of them and I’m not sure which to really sink my teeth into at the moment.

I’ve been kind of distracted by things lately but stuff’s calmed down enough for me to write more again.

So what do you guys think I should work on first?

Also, just a quick note here.

I’m literally one person away from the 300 follower milestone which is amazing and magical and makes me feel very appreciated despite not really doing anything to deserve the attention.

And I’m getting close to finishing the cover of Dreams!

It should be done pretty soon, hopefully.

Within the next week or two, if things go well.

I just finished creating the audio on my side of things so now I just have to let my brother in law do his magic and make the background music to match my vocals.

So we’ll see how that works out pretty soon.

Such excitement.

Much hype.

Very woot.

Also also, I’m going to be overhauling a bunch of my stuff online sometime during this next week.

I’m going to do another updated masterpost with all my works from here, I’m going to be updating everything on my Patreon page, I’m going to start working on my youtube channel properly, I’m going to start preparing some more cover vocals, I’m going to change how livestreams are laid out, I’m going to update all of my fics links so they connect properly, and I might even edit some of my fics a little while I’m at it.

Also also also, this isn’t super important but I want to mention this because I don’t want everyone to look at me and be like “Oh, so they’re just trying to get money out of us. How selfish!”.

No, that is not what I am trying to do now nor is it what I’m going to be doing in the future.

But, I am going to start mentioning my Patreon and putting the link to it on all of my works from now on.

My Patreon page, from tomorrow onwards, will just be a place to read all of my original works, watch or read some behind the scene stuff of me just living life and doing whatever, and give me some donations so that I can spend more of my time creating stuff for you guys to enjoy.

If you don’t want to go there, you don’t have to.

If you don’t want to give me money, you don’t have to.

You are your own person and it’s completely up to you how you live your life.

I’m still going to mention my Patreon page a lot and I would greatly appreciate it if some people would give me donations.

But nobody should feel obligated.

Things will continue, mostly, as is regardless of whether I get Patrons or not.

I just thought I’d mention this because I don’t want anyone to get annoyed by me doing this.

I’m just trying to find a way to make writing and singing and stuff my job.

That way, I can spend more time on that than on trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel for some kind of manageable voice acting or freelance work.

Anyways,(sorry I worry a lot about my Patreon bothering people)I also wanted to inform you guys that I’ll be doing livestreams on twitch every friday starting from this upcoming friday onwards.

Livestreams will usually just involve me talking to you guys, answering questions, singing songs, messing around with an instrument, reacting to an anime or something, or playing some kind of game while talking.

So feel free to stop by when it happens.

I’ll always mention it in a post on here when it starts and I’d be happy to tag people if you want to be seriously updated whenever it happens.

I can do the same and create a taglist for just random news involving the blog and myself, if anyone is interested.(tho I’m not sure why you would be.)

Finally,(I think. I got kind of lost after that Patreon rant...)I wanted to ask one more question and mention one more note.

Note: I’ll be starting up my Choose Your Own Adventure blog sometime within the next month or so.

I’m just preparing some of the preset story stuff so that I have some vague things to go off of.

I’ll offer more about it all when I’m done with getting everything ready and set up.

Question: Would you guys be interested in me creating a separate bog just for more personal stuff?

I was thinking of doing something along the lines of daily or weekly vlog things, mostly just when I’m doing stuff like going out or working on something semi-exciting, and I thought I might also just mention random events and post up links to the videos on tumblr.

But I don’t want to end up clogging up this blog with content nobody really wants to see.

So, if you’d like for me to make a separate blog for that, please tell me.

Or if you would prefer for everything to stay meshed together on this single blog, please tell me.

Or if you don’t really care and would rather I just not do anything like this in general, please tell me then as well.

Seriously, I appreciate whatever feedback to my questions I can get.

As a reminder, because it feels like ages ago since I mentioned it, please also tell me what series/AU/fic idea you would like me to work on the most.

You can even give me a list of which ones you’d like and in what order.

I make no promises, but I’ll probably follow some of your suggestions.

Anyways, thanks for bothering to read this, if you did.

I appreciate it.

Thank you for leaving any feedback, if you did.

I really appreciate it.

And I hope I can continue to make some good stories/general content for you guys to enjoy from now on.

Here’s some links if you’re interested(they’ll be changed, pretty drastically in some cases, during the next week.(Not the links, just the sites they’re linked to.)):

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Cerillen

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerillen/pseuds/Cerillen

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPz4p5XdoRESDKZeMDnWXFQ

Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/cerillen

Discord: https://discord.gg/FsUhc5f

#just some personal stuff #please offer some feedback #i'd appreciate it #sorry for clogging up your dash #i'll be on my way now

7 notes · View notes

maydei · 6 years

Text

I was tagged by @history-rover and @the-katuki-niliforv for the AO3 tag game like A MILLION YEARS AGO!! kjsddhfkjshfks sorry i forgot, i love you guys!!! <3

partially below a cut because this shit got LONG!

What’s your total word count on AO3?

762,774. Closing in on a million!! tho i know i’ve written waaaaay more than that when you add in my forbidden ffnet and quizilla days

Do you have a routine for writing?

sit down, open google doc, open several tabs of research. get interrupted by cat. get chewed on for a while. DRINK. write a little. browse tumblr for an hour. DRINK. read someone else’s fanfic. pass out on the couch. once i actually finish the chapter and slack off for a while, i go back to edit and re-read what i wrote, nit-pick my sentences, rearrange some stuff, then format on ao3.

it’s not hella deep lolol and most of the time i have NO memory of what i’ve written until a day or two later and i go back to read it, tbh. i almost always end up surprised with myself.

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairings?

for someone who is absolutely fucking sick of college and never wants to go back, my last two fics sure as hell were college student fics, tho admittedly i like, never want to write one again.punch me if i do, ok?

kinks.... 👀 many. many, many. browse my bookmarks and you’ll get an idea. i’ve lived on the internet since like 2006, sooooo. i’ve seen it all, i think. i’ve passed from denial into acceptance.

PAIRINGS: love me some pairings. Hannigram and Victuuri are the OTPs, Spirk gets an eternal special mention. There’s honestly so many I can’t count them all.

Do you have a favorite fic that you’ve written?

Well, the fic that’s gotten the most attention in terms of hits remains my SPN fic The Boy King. (RIP my child. Maybe someday my heart will sing again and I’ll finish you).

but finishing Fated was a huge achievement for me tbh, and Fated is GUNNING for the top slot in my stats page. Fated was the first longfic I’d written and finished in.... years. years, years, years. it had a HUGE effect on my confidence, the reactions I got were amazing. the reader feedback was unparalleled, and I was so fucking lucky to inspire enough people with that story that the YOI Soulmate Zine came into play. So if we’re talking about sheer impact, I think Fated takes the cake. It’s gonna hold a special place in my life basically forever. I think once I hit the year mark of that fic being completed I’ll probably go back and re-read it tbh. I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and read it from start to finish, so I’ll have to make a date to make that happen.

but undeniably Making Headlines is, like. It’s something else. The outline for this fic is immense. It’s certainly the most complicated in terms of plot an emotionally convoluted nonsense. I have NO idea if it makes any sense at all, but I have Plans™ and I am SO excited to get into the thick of the plot and the drama of this fic. once Arc Three starts it’s all over for you readers. also me.

Your fic with the most kudos?

Fated, at about 1400!

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Honestly, there’s a lot of things. Pacing is the big one. I often feel as thought I get too bogged down on characters and not enough on the plot, even though the scenes I write later inform the plot. It’s a weird fine line that I’m not really sure how to reconcile. Also the way I write sentences gets wonky. Sometimes my mental voice does some fucky things and ends up with weird word arrangements. I have to catch myself when I go back and edit.

Inconsistent style is another. My mental health is a bag of cats, and I find I write different ways on different days depending on my mood. It can lead to some really dynamic scenes, but some that feel too slow. It’s hard to know. I just know when I get on a roll, it feels GOOD and I just churn it out. The beach scene in Fated was like that, and so was the last section in this most recent chapter of Headlines. Sometimes it just ROLLS. Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth. I never know which it’ll be.

Tag some others:

@highermagic @hanni-bunny-lecter @weconqueratdawn @fragile-teacup @jadegreenworks @sinkingorswimming @omgkatsudonplease @lucycamui @coloredink

What’s your total word count on AO3?

Do you have a routine for writing?

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairings?

Do you have a favorite fic that you’ve written?

Your fic with the most kudos?

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Tag some friends!

#luc writes #long post #tag games #ao3 #writing meme

9 notes · View notes

btackt · 3 years

Note

yesss seeing more of dino would be so good! more jun too for me at least! I feel like slowly already tho we're getting a bit more and more of jun than we used to which is nice. so I live in virginia! I've always been around rivers here. my step dads old house was up against one so we would literally just go out back and straight into the water to swim whenever we wanted to. oh woow you lived there? thats awesome! it sounds like it was a great time? I hope to visit there once everything is (1/3)

safer yknow.. health wise everywhere. I shop at a korean grocer here (and sometimes make trips to hmart a couple hours away) but Im sure it's still very limited compared to shopping in the country itself (especially my much smaller local grocer than hmart). I was really excited to find some better looking abalone last trip to my local store tho so I can take a swing at making abalone porridge again. ahh house hunting is hard enough in person I cant fathom not (2/3) being there to see the locations. are you moving for school? (I live in a college city and we see people move in for the fall semester a lot is why I ask) ALSO! FIRST MISSION! since the post for it went up I have questions! my messages are always so long so I'll just ask one to start: top 5! whats your top five svt eras and what did you like most about each one? 👀 (3/3) -💎

OMG NEIGHBORS? I'm from maryland!! YOU are gonna know what I mean when I say DMV! I don't live that close to the potomac unfortunately but when I was younger we'd visit our friends in virginia and go creeking behind their house.

Korea--it was my first time out of the country so honestly I was terrified but I learned so much and had a great time. I honestly didn't know much about Korean culture before I went and only now that I came back do I realize how hard it is to find Korean food here!

Yeah I actually go to school in LA...so I have to go pretty far actually...

Top 5 eras! geez!! well I became a carat in between fallin flower and lnr so I didn't get to actually experience most of the eras and I can only judge based on the concepts and how it looked, but:

1. oh my! - I just think fresh and summery is my favorite, it was so colorful and bright and not bogged down by any particular extra deep meaning. just enjoyment and happiness! like 우새낮뜨 2. home - i guess this is perfect contrast concept-writing by whoever arranged it but the brown warmth of winter is such a beautiful and more unique concept. home itself is an amazing song and I love the bsides from this album too... 3. pretty u - I think maybe the 4th reason that convinced me to be a carat was seeing their pretty u stage for the first time and seeing how widely and brightly and beautifully they were all smiling. it was so contagious and I've never seen a performance where they were so happy (or at least acting so). 4. clap - one of the eras I really wish I could live through if I could rewind time. it just feels like they really killed it and the amount of killer bside mvs, I think I would have fainted. 5. don't wanna cry - I also wish I knew more about how it felt to live through this era. all I know is that I think people said their outfits were groundbreaking and the concept 180 from before was a whole new fresh thing. probably the 1st reason that hooked me into being a fan was the choreo to this song.

I so wanna include lnr but idk something's holding me back. but I think that's how I'd do it? probably ask me another day and my answer'd be different

#caratanon2021

0 notes

guardiandae · 7 years

Text

You know you are an adult when you get excited about buying a vaccuum cleaner... lmao.

but in my defense, the vacuums today, even the cheap ones, are so much cooler than the shitty ones back in the day. also I would like my floor to finally be clean and my mom keeps going, “vacuums are so expensive” bitch I just spent $20 on a vaccuum it’s not hard.

ANYWAY here’s my life update:

got my hair cut, finally. It looks so much better now. no more staring at crazy split ends all day.

I found a quiz site, WHOOPS, and I’ve been quizzing myself for like a week now on African countries and now island countries because I realized I don’t know them. I don’t think they’re all sticking but my brain has been going, MOZAMBIQUE. DJIBOUTI. every day. So I now know recall MORE countries than I used to. It fuels my obsession for puzzle games + I’m learning, so. This is a step up from mind-numbing griddlers, at least.

I’m also reading A Song of Ice and Fire... it’s stupid how, for the longest time I was super intimidated by the idea of getting into these books, knowing how thick they are, how many there are in the series, and how many CHARACTERS there are to follow. I remember when I first started watching the show, I was super overwhelmed by the characters being introduced. Particularly when the Red Woman came onto the scene I was like, “The fuck is happening now??” And maybe watching the show first helped a lot with that, but like, I was really suspicious when I first cracked open a book and was like... “Is this the novel or just a screenplay???” I remember having to read so many books that were written with excruciatingly BORING detail, or such lovingly rendered descriptions of background scenery or pure daydreams that had nothing to do with the plot, that I’d get totally bogged down in the purple prose and lose track of what the hell was going on. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves of writing to this very day. But GRRM doesn’t do that, not even remotely. I thought that my writing was really simple, but GRRM’s might be even more spartan. But that only makes sense to keep it succinct and move along quickly when he’s laying out this whole huge world with several kingdoms and houses that all have their own unique cultures and beliefs and at least a dozen different major characters whose stories need to be told. I’m totally enchanted. and the FORESHADOWING, HOLY FUCK. The foreshadowing is intense, I’m kind of glad in a way that I already know what’s to come because it’s literally like the way I wrote Distance, where after you know the ending, there are so many things that take on a different light that I would’ve never even noticed, seriously. I posted them on twitter but I should maybe make posts here because AAAAGGGGGGHHH!!!!

I’m also starting to read up on beekeeping... I’ve been interested in it for a while mostly in the sense that I appreciate beekeeping (see beekeeper mumen for example) but the spring seeds came in and I was like, I want bee-friendly flowers, and then that led to, WHAT IF I BEES? and I’m the sort of person that... I had to RESTRAIN MYSELF from buying a beekeeping starting kit (BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH 3LBS OF LIVE BEES.. @MYSELF: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE BUY BEES ONLINE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN) and yeah like so anyway now I’m reading about bees and even if I decide it’s not for me (tbh I’d probably be like, “YEAH BEES” until I got to the point of trying to set up an actual fucking hive of bees and then scream and run away because BEES? and also bc I’m an idiot that thinks everything sounds awesome in theory until real life happens. BUT WHO KNOWS MAYBE I’D LIKE IT???) but anyway EVEN IF I DECIDE AGAINST THE IDEA at least I’ll have learned some stuff?

oh yeah btw I slammed the button and ordered that pricey fitbit fitness tracking watch and I really like it. I’m kind of gradually easing into more and more fitness? which feels like a “I’m being lazy” thing but honestly maybe that’s a better approach, to build up habits over time instead of overloading myself with extreme changes and then going “nope”? Basically I’ve been learning that exercise can be hella fun, experimenting with different exercises that I like and also experimenting with healthier foods to bring into my diet. btw if anyone told me a few years ago that today I’d be buying almond milk, coconut oil, organic food, and yelling, “HOW MANY CALORIES?! FUCK THAT” in the middle of the grocery store at my ex-favorite foods, I probably would’ve decked them.

alsooooo so I can’t remember if I posted about this but I know I told a few people that I studied the gay aesthetic™ hard and took notes (I wish I was fucking kidding, I literally gotta study this shit I don’t understand social things and fashions) and decided to expand my wardrobe accordingly. I’m feeling out what works and does not, and today I was FEELING IT when I got myself in the mirror. it’s that men’s pocket undershirt, I fucking swear, and I have had that all along but I never wore them by themselves I always wore them to work under my stupid work uniform. WELL NOW I’VE SEEN THE LIGHT. plus my ace ring and bracelets were good choices. today I bought better shoes as well, and dodged a bullet because like... ugh I have the worst instincts and at first I almost got these tall zippered ladies boots that were on sale like... yes they were a squeeze but??? but I was like... I think they make my legs look stubby plus the store was closing so I was like, TOO INDECISIVE FOR THIS. I ended up getting a pair of skateboard shoes on clearance and also some nice looking men’s boots instead and it cost me the same it would’ve for that one pair of boots plus get this while I was leaving the store I saw this Incredibly Straight Woman walking in with the tall zippered boots and I was like, THANK GOD I DIDN’T and then I saw ANOTHER Incredibly Straight Woman with the same boots and I was like TODAY I HAVE BEEN SPARED A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH. Like yeah gay girls can pull that off too yes but 1. not me. I’d have to get skinny jeans or leggings for that look and it’s so not me I can’t, I don’t know why the fuck I tried to go down that path 2. those tall boots weren’t even the original Aesthetic™ that I had studied for, like, I suck so bad, someone dress me bc I make bad life choices.

but yeah, I bought two new pairs of shoes, I bought a grey shirt bc I observed that the holy grail of casual gay girls was just a plain grey shirt (much like the unrealized glory of my pocket shirts... but grey guys... I love grey...) I hope it’s a good choice tho bc you know, some cuts look great and some are like... the fuck. a VACUUM CLEANER?? ADULTING WIN?? some nice FOOD STUFFS???? lettuce-y things, even????

so now I need to do some things that I’ve been putting off..

-do my taxes (I’ve been raring to but my internet was too slow..) -pay rent -call my bank -find a local doctor -book an eye appointment -schedule a permit test -clean my fucking maybe?? that;’d be nice???

-maybe part with some of these clothes that just give me bad memories now... I still have so much stuff from high school and stuff that I don’t wear and stuff that I’m like ‘will I ever fit into this again’ and it’s like... like seriously for YEARS I did not buy myself a new WARDROBE I had like enough clothes that would fit and so many old ones like, I was punishing myself for gaining so much weight and seriously it didn’t help me at all it felt so much better to just go ahead and get clothes that fit me and half of my problem is I’m poor af so I’m like, ‘but I spent money on this’ and I don’t wanna throw it out but now I think I’ll be happy when I get rid of these big clothes when they, hopefully, no longer fit me in the near future, so like... I should just toss these old bad-memories-clothes and burn them, seriously... @ me I’m talking to you asshole, burn the rags. clean your room, clean our your wardrobe, and cleanse it with fire.

#life update #bc I feel like I've been quiet for a while #hint: it's bc 1 my internet was hella slow #and then 2. MOZAMBIQUE

9 notes · View notes