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equalseleventhirds · 11 months

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what up besties sorry i haven't been online much but would u like to read the piece i wrote for my final for creative writing? it's metaporically about being trans n neurodivergent n disabled n ppl loving an idea of you more than you, but also it is about a zombie who comes back, not wrong, but not quite what anyone wanted..

(cw for death, electrocution, being buried (not quite alive), and complicated feelings about gender & name but that journey not being completed yet.)

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Grave News

Amelia Marquez, 34, passed away in a tragic accident…

Later, when anyone learns she woke up already buried, she can see the horror movie assumptions playing out behind their eyes. The thought of waking up, trapped in a tiny, dark, airless space, scrabbling at the walls, gasping for breath, the weight of the earth above pressing down, down, down…

She smiles and accepts their pity, their horrified dismay, and does not tell them about lying awake, perfectly motionless, trying to figure out how to move. About how easy it is not to struggle for breath when pulling air into your lungs takes conscious effort. About pushing at different groups of muscles, her body twitching and twisting in the dark, until she works out forward, works out force, works out the flex of her hand as it pushes through velvet, then oak, then dirt, then dirt, then dirt.

Amelia claws her way out of her own grave, not frantic, not berserk, but deliberate. Gradual. Almost mechanical, as she practices moving by repeating the same thing again and again, her patient hands working their way through wood, through earth, to the surface.

(It isn't until later, standing in her parents' doorway and listening to the screams, that she realizes what ceaseless digging does to the human hand. She realizes that she somehow did not feel the pain as she dug. She realizes she needs to buy gloves.)

…the home she shared with her fiancé…

Cole had been so certain about his repairs. Fifty bucks at Home Depot and a couple of days of work, and Amelia’s concerns brushed aside.

“I’ve got this, Ames. Way better than hiring a contractor.” And she had agreed, had let him do it himself, had made dinner for a week while he spent his evenings messing with wires and fuses, assuring her that he was nearly done, that the video on YouTube made it so easy.

Cole hadn’t been home when the lights went out, when Amelia went to the fuse box and tried to flip everything back on. When the jumble of wires in their walls shorted and flared and spread electricity through her body.

When it killed her.

Once her parents call, Cole drops everything to rush over. He falls to his knees in front of her, staring up into her face through a haze of tears and hope and shock.

“You’re back. Ames, Amy, you’re back, how…”

She stares down at her lap, making sure her hands are covered by the blanket her mother had nestled around her.

…a beautiful light in our lives, extinguished too soon. Her friends and family…

Her memorial photo, the black clothes, the incense on the table, are all gone the morning after she comes back, packed away in boxes or thrown out in opaque garbage bags. Hands hesitate before touching her. They keep her at home, talking about rest, about recuperating.

“Since you’ve been…” She sees the glances, the mouthed no, don’t say it. “…in your condition. It’s important to rest up.”

It’s as though they think one wrong move, one wrong word, will kill her again.

She wonders a little bit if they’re right.

Her mother is the gentlest she’s ever been brushing Amelia’s hair, her hands careful, her voice filling the air. “And I unpacked some of your nice clothes,” she says, working through a tangle. “You don’t have to wear sweatpants anymore, I found your skirts…”

Amelia looks down at her loose, comfortable clothes, the t-shirt worn and soft against her skin. She thinks about struggling with buttons on a nice blouse, thinks about whether ruffles will still itch the way they did when she was alive. Thinks about the way the mottled colors on her legs have lasted too long to be called bruises. Maybe she should call it decay.

Her mother clicks her tongue sadly as a few strands of hair pull loose from her head. “These knots…”

“What if I cut it?” Amelia asks. She’d been thinking about short hair back when she was alive. And it would be easier. “I can’t make you brush it for me every day.”

Concern melds with distress on her mother’s face. “You can’t cut it,” she hisses. “What if it never grows back?”

...bright, funny, resilient, the first to volunteer...

Once, she accidentally sleeps for three days. That’s the kind of thing the living joke about—so tired I could sleep for a week, as impossible as that would actually be. Turns out it’s easy for the dead—easy to lie still, easy to stop pushing, easy to drift away into forgiving darkness.

She wakes to her mother weeping, her father pacing in the hall, Cole pale and haunted and clenching his phone in two hands. The funeral home’s phone number must be burned into the screen by now, but he hasn’t pressed the call button. Not yet.

Amelia makes herself sit up in bed, reaches out to him, and sees him flinch.

Right. Gloves.

Even as she twists her face into a smile, she knows she's done it wrong. Her eyebrows are at odd angles, her lips curled strangely. She tries for light-hearted: "Whoops, close one! Don't want to wake up in a grave again."

No one laughs.

...kept forever in our memories and our hearts...

Late at night, she hears her parents whispering. “Is she all right?” her mother asks. “My little girl, my Amelia—she’s not acting like herself. She’s so tired, so...”

“She just came back,” her father says. His voice is firm, comforting. Determined not to let any uncertainty slip through. The same voice he’s always used when her mother worries—the same voice he used when Amelia told him her own worries, her doubts about the future, about Cole. She always ended conversations with her father sure that he was right.

“She’ll be back to herself soon enough,” he says. “We just have to keep her active. Remind her about being alive.”

“But what if she’s not herself? I know we said not to bring up…” Her mother’s voice drops, furtive. “…the Z word…”

“We’re keeping an eye on her. We’ll notice if she does anything that needs… intervention.”

She closes her eyes. Wonders if she can turn off her hearing. Wonders if it would have been easier, staying in her grave.

The next day, she brings up moving back in with Cole. He says he'd be happy to have her, and she pretends not to notice the look he exchanges with her parents.

…brought out the best in people, always ready to help, to listen…

Cole is attentive. He brings her pastries from the bakery near their apartment and tells her about his day—work, his hobbies, a dog he saw at the park. Shows her pictures and videos on his phone. Mentions people by name, and she's not sure if they're new, since her death, or if she managed to forget people she knew about before.

She knows which muscles to move for an understanding nod, an encouraging smile. She knows how to make herself chew and swallow food, how to bring it back up later so it doesn’t just sit and rot in her stomach. She still remembers the right way to ask questions so Cole shares more.

There’s no real reason not to do it, but the more she thinks about it—the more she imagines forcing her body into the right place, the ordeal she’ll have to go through later—the less she wants to do it. She sits silently, pastries untouched, letting the muscles in her face go slack.

“Ames? You okay?”

It takes a second; she has to fill her lungs to respond. She tips one side of her mouth up in what could have been a reassuring smile, once. “Fine. Just tired.”

He sits next to her, worry pinching between his eyebrows. "Of course. I'm sorry. Let's just sit here and watch TV? There are new episodes of all our favorites."

The shows all feel distant, the plots blurred, the characters unfamiliar. She watches with him for hours anyway.

...a kind and giving spirit, she wanted to create...

Shattering the mug isn't intentional. Even if she's started to resent the comforting cups of tea Cole brings her. Even if she's sick of pulling latex gloves over her cloth ones so she can wash the dishes. Even if the cutesy blobs of yellow and pink painted on it have always been too much, too bright, too false-forced-cheer, from the moment she was gifted it eight years ago.

She still doesn't mean to let go of it, the muscles in her hand (and there are so many muscles in the human hand, so many to keep track of, and most of hers are damaged already) loosening and spasming as she's walking to the sink.

The jagged pieces of it surround her, and Cole's hysterical babble of questions and assurances—"Are you okay, I've got it, just hold still"—fades into background noise as Amelia leans down to try and gather the shards.

A hand wraps around her wrist and she turns to meet Cole's wide, frightened eyes. "Amy, your foot."

A full inch of jagged ceramic is buried in her heel.

She does not bleed, even after Cole pries it out.

...although she will never fulfill those plans, her dream will live on...

"Ames, I'm worried." Cole reaches out, stops with his hand just over her thigh. Puts it down on the chair next to her, not touching. "This is... I know you've been through a lot. But you're acting like—"

She turns her head until she can look at his face. Her neck jerks in the wrong direction a couple of times, but she's getting better at it, faster. "Like?"

Cole's eyes are red, and can't quite meet hers. "Like..." His shoulders drop. "Not like yourself."

He waits a beat—two—and gets up, breathing out harshly. "Ever since you came back, Amy. You barely look at me. You barely talk to me. You don't even like doing the things you used to like. I understand about your... condition, but..."

...pray she rests well, and waits in peace for her loved ones...

She sits in their apartment—Cole's apartment—long after he's gone, watching the afternoon sunlight shift across the space they used to share. Her books are still on the shelf. She remembers packing up her childhood bookshelf to bring to their new home. The painting she bought at a flea market is still hanging on the wall. She remembers joking with Cole about picking up a masterpiece for two dollars.

Looking at them now, she doesn't even particularly want to bring them with her.

...invited to celebrate her life at...

Merely dragging her body across the ground would be easier. But, even though she's wrong, even though she's not the person they think about when they look at her, she's still not a mindless, lurching zombie. Mostly.

She walks. One step forward.

Was she ever the person they thought about when they looked at her?

One step.

Maybe now she'll find out.

One step.

...in lieu of flowers, the family asks...

She settles into her seat on the train, making sure her hands are covered. A new start doesn't mean much if she sends an entire train into a panic.

Someone sits next to her, bouncing in their seat. "Hey there! Looks like we've got eight hours ahead of us. What's your name?"

She hesitates. Amelia. Amy. Ames.

"Mel," she says. It's strange in her mouth. Just slightly wrong, the same way she's just slightly wrong. Maybe that’s the right fit.

#algie writes things #what if u came back wrong but not evil just dealing with what it means to be dead but like in a disability way #and also u were transgender but hadn't figured it out yet #......something something society viewing ppl (trans disabled neurdivergent and more) as being 'stolen' or 'killed'#by theses aspects of our lives; as tho a 'normal' (per them) person WAS there but is no longer #but perhaps that 'normal' person never fucking was there #but circumstances make it more difficult to keep up the veneer of faking 'normality'#..........something. etc. u kno.#anyway! metaphors #but also i do love a zombie story so (shrug emoji)

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rithmeres · 8 months

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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry

#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages #i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3 #might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year #just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like #please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL #things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart #i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything #all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared #just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself #i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try #but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal #i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.

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icewindandboringhorror · 19 days

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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details #of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point #but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag #of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there #are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance #but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly #doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead #of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like #you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image #or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i #wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe #I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing #that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc #eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that #this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently #wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj #Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU #CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN #MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol #I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it #with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits #and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit #out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the #unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh #re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI #art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA

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aflockofravens · 6 months

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I started watching Spy X Family and I didn't realize it was gonna be so fucking cute.

Fake dating/married is one of my favourite tropes ever. And I loved Mr and Mrs Smith. So this is right up my alley however.

I can just tell it's gonna be an extremely slow burn romance and I'm already dying. Loid and Yor are so flipping cute.

The JJK chokehold remains but now we get to add some slow burn, pining, and unrequited (but actually not) feelings (at least I'm assuming. It feels like that kind of prolonged misunderstanding).

Bring it.

#do we still embed gifs in our flappy hand text posts?#I've been out of the game for so long #anyways i loved this show immediately #Loid 'This is just for the mission; immediately falls in love with his fake wife and daughter' Forger #his shirt is made of husband material #also dad material #ep 5 killed me; as if he did all that 'for the mission'#just fess up to loving your daughter and giving her literally anything she asks for #anyone with eyes can see it #it's time to place bets on how long i have to go until there's even casual touching much less a damn kiss #their hands brushed briefly already and that reaction tells me we have a long ways to go #except she did get drunk immediately and pretty much straddle him so 🤷‍♀️#her brother's reaction to that was... hella weird though #anyways bring on the new obsession while i recover from what's about to happen in JJK #spy x family #sxf

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itsfloortimebabey · 2 years

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tall transfem x short transmasc is the best relationship dynamic ever i am not at all biased btw.

#sorry for not being on for years i was consumed by the void etc etc #whatever. im back now #with a gf !!!!! guys my girlfirnddn <333 #i love She #our height difference <333 the way she is literally 8 inches taller than me. goddess shit #also mini life update besides the gf ive figured out most of my gender shit!!!! yay. im a trans guy and i go by jerry/jerome irl now :)))#tape is still fine tho #and!!!!! i finally got my teeth. they r fake and i love them #aaaand i start high school in a week. wowza #anyways idk if anyones gonna even see this but love y'all. missed ya talk soon etc etc #ALSO I LOVE MY GIRLFRIWNEB !!!!!!!!!! zzsO MUCH SHE IS SO ORETTY AND WONDERFL AND GORGOEUS

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andthebeanstalk · 10 months

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What up I'm married to a tall person who is basically Milo Thatch but agender, and uhhh, basically, yeah, everyone should be jealous and I LOVE MY CUTE TWINK NERD WIFE!!!!! 😤😤🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤👌👌

#original #i love my wife #had a big crush on that character growing up #you know who else is really into her? EVERY OTHER CHUBBY TRANS GUY IN CHICAGO apparently we just see her and are like OH HELL YEAH #do you know why this is? it is because we have excellent taste that is why.#and also we want non threatening masc people to be into us and respect our gender! that's me anyway #and this is excellent news for her anyway bc we're in an open relationship & she thinks guys like me (her HUSBAND 🥰😁) are incredibly hot #this is also bc she has excellent taste.#but it is a running joke that she keeps getting nice OKC matches that look a lot like me 😂#anyway this post is a thing that would have made young me BOIL with envy if someone else said it but in fact it is ME #and young me grew into me and is in here like AAWWWWWWW YYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHH 🤘🤘🤘🤘🚀🚀🚀#she doesn't just look like Milo she also moves and emotes and talks like him. and until recently her glasses would not stay on her face!#she got new ones. nerd. i adore her.#she is so kind to Jack (me) and to my giant anxious pitbull child #she puts his blankie on him as he rests on her toes to make sure she doesn't go anywhere 😭😭❤#she is my best friend and she never makes me feel stupid or fake or undeserving. she just likes me so much and she fkn acts like it!#and we have good boundaries and communication in a very autistic way [positive] and she is so smart and funnyyy #oh i am falling asleep now #probably has something to do with how thinking about my wife makes me feel safe and warm or some gay shit like that 🙄 ;)#edit: omg it just occurred to me that she is like 80% Mill and 20% Jessica Jones. just in terms of like. vibes. XD #she cares a lot about Jessica Jones. I will tell her my findings in the morrow #*80% Milo

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torgawl · 8 months

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everyone here was soooo excited because a national channel was going to bring back this iconic tv series, directed specifically to the youth, from our childhood and adolescence that we are so nostalgic about after 11 years for them to disappoint us all with the trailer because it looks like elite 2.0

#they ruined morangos com açúcar i dont think you guys understand #this was supposed to be a cliché show with bad acting about students and dramas at school not a fucking disappearing mystery show #with parties and sex and whatnot 😭#they're making it release in 10 episode seasons like streaming shows too.... that's not morangos!!!!! anfngngnbg #the vibe is so different that it actually makes no sense why they would try to tie it with the other seasons plot and actors shsjshs #yes morangos had your occasional topics of teenage pregnancy and queerness and all that jazz but it was actually explored well #the way they're making girls kiss and parties happening and everything of those sorts in the new season is literally like any of those #spanish teenage shows with too much sex scenes and it's embarrassing actually.#the essence of our national tv is getting lost because they want to do stuff that 'sells' except morangos never sold because it was trendy #or even good because the acting was honestly not great. it was literally our company and part of our routine all year around almost #it was the show we would arrive from school to watch before dinner every day #we watched them experience the school year at the same time we did and on holidays there was a special summer edition #it was a whole thing that this new version isn't.#it was a novela directed for the youth and not whatever show they're trying to make and i'm so mad #i actually wanted to see it. morangos was special to so many of us everybody knows the songs everybody loves the artists that came from #that generation we all grew up watching it.... literally.#and capitalism strikes again 👍#the auditions were a joke too. they announced auditions for anyone who would like to because another thing about morangos is that it was #a talent factory it gave opportunity to newbie actors and pushed their careers and the new season has a bunch of already renown actors and #actresses and they didn't even care to hide how fake and rigged the public auditons were lol #anyways never building expectations about anything ever again this actually broke my heart man agjshs #i'm gonna mourn this listening to d'zrt 4taste and just girls ✊

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prettyvacanttt · 1 year

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I want to get pregnant so fucking bad

#Alastair and I always get to play parents and fake lil Eden and Gentry are our babies every single time we see then and everytime!!!!!#it drives me insane!!!!!!! he looks so fucking good w a baby and has such amazing paternal instinct my hormones literally cant help it #and ugh do i miss babies.... doing childcare since i was like fucking 9 fried my brain i love babies sm and they love me so fucking much #either way my little sister is getting a sugar daddy so she can try to buy me into getting pregnant and like...it might work idk lol #and ugh i would look so hot pregnant

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mokutone · 2 years

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I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.

dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like

here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.

anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut

djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!

also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry

and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO

i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.

anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important

#a lot of the way i approach art is bc i worked with kids for a while and like. u can kinda tell when a kid is at the breaking point w/ art #where they're like ''if one more thing goes wrong i am going to Lose It''#+ at that point as a ''teacher'' u have to pick between giving them critique on their artwork to improve OR letting it go + saying their #art is good and they're doing really well #and i always pick the second one—LIKE. once the kid is no longer feeling soooo frustrated abt their art that they're at a breakin point?#THEN we can talk critique. and even then i will still tell them what they're doing well #until theyre at that point tho its all ''yeah!!! you're killing it! look at these new skills you're learning! look how you're improving!''#''look how funny/beautiful/exciting/cool your piece is!!!!''#because first and foremost. i think that art should be enjoyed #having creation as a friend and ally vs A Duty is sooo important #TO BE CLEAR LIKE. this is also still technically a form of critique #i dont just say ''good job champ! great work doing art!'' if u wanna compliment art and have it mean something you do have to be #specific about what is good...not ''that looks great!'' but ''wow you draw really fabulously detailed noses!#or ''wow the fashion you're drawing is really cool—i wish i had that jacket!'' like.#as in all things. compliments and praise are only meaningful if they are /meant/ and you cant fake that #MY POINT IS. if we want to take the pressure off ourselves with art. i think we also gotta treat ourslves like this #look at what we're doing and compliment things we genuinely think weve improved upon. love our successes #nothing better for the ego than to compare new art to old art and look at what weve changed #i should do some redraws at some point #my jutsu

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jupejumble · 5 months

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the youngest has a tv in her room (upstairs) while me and my other younger sister arent allowed to bring our phones to the basement (where our rooms are), and my parents claim they don’t have a favorite…

#i bought my pc and drawing tablet with money i saved up #and my parents still threaten to take it away #or even purposefully break it #like that one time they threatened to break my drawing tablet #she also never gets in big trouble for not doing chores like me and our other sister #if she gets injured or is hurting in any way? oh! she doesn’t have to go to school #i haven’t been to the doctor in so long cuz i’m supposedly faking it #HOW CAN I FAKE THE FLU #love my parents /gen but their favoritism is not fun #ok ok i’m done vent posting #jex speaks #jex spam

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longagoitwastuesday · 1 year

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I love the Goncharov meme conceptually. It feels like classic academia perhaps, definitely like studying ancient philosophy at times. You get a fragment (knockoff boots), a general context (Martin Scorsese films existing), and then a very long discussion about nothing starts. But the nothingness isn't entirely nothing, and there are still limits to what can and cannot be said framed by both the existence and non-existence of that which is being discussed. Hilarious, truly, and the fact itself so very interesting to analyse in so many ways.

#This feels a bit like studying and discussing presocratics or Socrate himself xD #ngl while I loved the boots thing (I had often thought about those knockoff boots‚ I found them hilarious)#I don't find the Goncharov memes particularly funny #But the concept is fascinating conceptually and thrilling to analyse in so many levels #The fact that almost every webwaving‚ even the ones about a fake film‚ have the same quotes #That basically everything said about this film is what is said about any other popular media #Is so interesting as how short media analysis falls into superficiality and miopic repetition of patterns #As is the fact that we can discuss to eternity something that doesn't exist #in a sort of Narcissus looking at his reflection on the pond situation‚ in love with our own discussion more than the thing itself #And that's a level. But it's also very interesting in how basically everyone has a very similar idea of what the film is about #How nothingness with sprinkles can tell us something‚ a lot‚ and make a ghost of a film which can effectively to some extent be analysed #It's also hilarious in how it puts a mirror‚ so to speak‚ in front of so many academic studies #How we've basically been doing this for centuries unironically and I'd say with at least a certain sense of self awareness #How this brings back studying and discussing the lost texts of Ovid or Sappho based just on what they say about them or the absence #in what they say about them‚ or what other authors say about them or how their works are wrapped around those lost texts #How it brings back the study and analysis of presocratics like Pythagoras or even Socrate himself of which we have Plato and Xenophon #but really something close to nothing considering how important those authors are as basis of the entire history of western philosophy #And yet there's honestly so much to say about them given the nothingness we have accompanied by the something!#And Goncharov memes work a bit that way #I don't know. There are really so many facets to this meme and they are all conceptually hilarious yes xD #Another but not less important aspect of this meme that I love conceptually is that #I'm a bit fan of funny lies. I adore them. Especially when constructed between several people #And Goncharov is precisely that lol #Goncharov #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #Meme shit

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dayabot · 2 years

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daya when she sees a fake limb : ooooh stim toy

#honey and i are losing our minds about the stupid leg SHE LOVES LEG #daya stims with fake limbs (rhyme) - honey urmommysfavelesbian 2022 #it's giving her stroking willows fake arm in glamazon prime #😵‍💫#:face_with_spiral_eyes:#the way she strokes the fake leg 😵‍💫 why am i losing consciousness #the outfit 😵‍💫 christian pirate girl autumn roscoes daya and THE TWO TONED #THE-THE #THE TWO TONED W-WIG................... THE #loses consciousness falls to the floor ceases to be #die episode screen covering up dayas body for the whole video :knife: :knife: :knife:#i need her carnally

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gaymom · 7 months

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the fact u immediately throw people with low empathy under the bus is super funny also Lol. god forbid people with npd be wary of people who use narcicissm as an insult as if the word isnt intrinsically tied to the disorder now. we look up resources and are constantly fucking bombarded with articles telling us we're abusive monsters for having npd. have a little decency bro.

yeah you can't pretend that all discussions of narcissism are implicitly tied to the disorder. Narcissist isnt just an insult, although the traits associated with it are definitely negative under a non-individualistic value system. Narcissist is also a word that has been used by people far before NPD was researched and defined in the dsm. The word describes someone with low empathy and a specific affect to their ego that is self focused and disregarding of others. The FACT is that the vast majority of individuals with narcissistic traits DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE that they have narcissistic traits that negatively impact those close to them NOR DO THEY PURSUE MEDICAL SUPPORT OR DIAGNOSIS FOR IT. Which is exactly why I haven't talked about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Often those who find nothing wrong with taking advantage of others end up finding communities/workplaces where their disregard for others is valued, and that's pretty easy in a capitalist society where many people look up to those with narcissistic traits for the power they have over other people. There are plenty of abuse survivors who have experienced narcissists like Amber Heard not take accountability and take their smear campaigns to the public stage and still successfully take advantage of the biases of large populations of people who form impressions off of lies.

So maybe take a look at your reactivity to people talking about this topic and why you felt the need to send me this, because it's disregarding the subject of my posts and is disconnected from the material reality of narcissistic traits and their effect on social systems. But I'm guessing this is a personal feeling of insecurity on your part that you identify with the narcissists I'm talking about because instead of recognizing I'm talking about abusive narcissists who don't take accountability and don't seek help and take lies and cruelty too far, YOU IDENTIFY with the narcs Im referencing and send me this pity party about how hard it is for you to hear how angry people talk after being hurt by people who let your condition go unchecked. Low empathy is not a sub-human trait, I dont think people without empathy are monsters. But I KNOW some of those people dismiss the reality of their low empathy and the damage they do BECAUSE of their narcissism. So maybe, be less wary of people talking about the damage of narcissism and be more wary of how your biases can lead you to being out of touch.

#Like this is not personal #it's just the reality of human differences #if we just pretend that our culture is fine and we need to be treating narcissists like victims of their own experiences #we ignore that socially people have leeway to be narcissistic and successfuly meet their needs at the expense of others if they #are dishonest in specific ways. like there's still plenty of people who are supposedly anti abuse who support clear abuser amber heard #SIMPLY because she's a woman and a successful liar and manipulator #please recognize your biases that lead to you dismissing people's dishonesty and targeted aggression #and this is way more important in the specific context of person who has a pattern of instigating contentious situations and escalating them #the fact that it's actually a popular 'woke' take to just not question slandering a person while providing no concrete evidence #simply because its easier for you to think that women in Hollywood can't have the same entitled abusive attitudes as the men #and maybe YOU cant relate to someone lying about something as horrendous as abuse and rape but white women have been doing it for centuries #get a grip #people can be shitty and hold destructive views regardless of identity and that's the beauty of intersectionality baby #and if your narcissisticly disordered personality is better than that--lovely #but it's also possible to be a fake therapy-pilled self-aware narcissist who subconsciously still feels a need to be better than everyone #and who still faces the deep insecurity characterizing narcisissism while intellectualizing their existence to make up for not actually #healing the core problem which is your internal sense of stability

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