#except instead of bros it’s dawgs

[putaposyinyourhair]

And they were roommates…

part 1 | part 2 • ethan landry x chad meeks-martin (cause there ain’t enough to go around)

• warnings: none except that it’s a/b/o read at your own risk dawg

• just a little no gf! fluff to scratch that itch

Ethan honestly doesn’t expect his roommate to just be right there the moment he finally manages to get their dorm-room door to open. But alas, there he is.

Clad in nothing but a dark green towel that’s hanging precariously low on his hips. His noticeably gorgeous roommate takes one look at Ethan over his shoulder and grins crookedly.

Ethan drops his keys, jaw dropping along with them.

This has to be some kind of mistake, he decides immediately.

His roommate is standing there, silhouetted by the early morning sunlight filtering in through the curtains beyond him, looking for all the world as if he’s been sculpted by ancient worshippers as a tribute to their Gods. His bronzed skin is glistening with droplets of water and his hair is wet and dripping onto the back of his neck and his abs are horrifically defined and oh.

There’s a whole group of girls sitting on the bed that Ethan surmises must be his— because it’s pushed up against the side of the room with walls that are bare as opposed to the other wall that’s absolutely plastered with movie posters and framed sports memorabilia.

“Hey, roomie!” his dorm mate calls, lifting a hand to wave in greeting— which only serves to flex his impressive bicep involuntarily and Ethan has to contain the urge to groan at the sight aloud.

Shit together, Ethan urges himself, now.

“Um,” he mutters dumbly, obviously still incapable of forming any sentences or making any moves. And even if he could, his keys are still on the floor and he’s kind of unable to bend over to get them seeing as he’s got a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder and luggage in each of his hands.

One of the girls sitting on his bed gracefully stands, rolling her eyes at the others who are kind of just staring at him and snickering quietly, and makes her way over to Ethan. She scoops up his keys and takes one of his bags, smiling kindly.

“Hi, I’m Anika,” she introduces herself boldly. “Come in. Sorry about the party.”

Ethan steps inside his dorm, glancing about fretfully.

“Hi?” he tries a bit awkwardly. “I’m, uh, Ethan.”

“Hello, Uh Ethan,” one of the two other girls sitting on the bed calls mockingly, a smirk pulling at the side of her lips.

She looks a bit like his roommate.

“Mindy, be nice,” said extremely attractive roommate scolds lightheartedly, turning to walk over to Ethan as well— one hand held out. “Hey, bro. I’m Chad.”

Chad, Ethan considers, his name is Chad.

Of course it is.

And he’s an alpha.

Of course he is.

And he smells absolutely mouth-watering.

Like a raging sea-side bonfire. And sweet clementine’s in the height of the summer. And peppermint candy canes on Christmas morning.

Fuck.

Ethan reaches up mechanically to shake Chad’s hand but flounders sort of pathetically and reddens when Chad fist-bumps him instead with an entertained little grin.

“This is gonna sound incredibly rude,” Chad drawls. “I think? But is that your natural scent?”

Ethan flushes. From head-to-toe. In the words of Madonna; like a virgin.

Which he is.

“Dude!” the last of the three girl’s in the room scolds, throwing her hands up and rolling her eyes at Chad’s back— like the alpha’s impropriety is a common occurrence. “It’s called tact, knothead. Exercise it.”

Chad doesn’t look cowed in the slightest by the tiny girl’s admonishment. He actually chuckles and bites into the corner of his stupidly plush bottom lip as he regards Ethan.

“Ignore him,” Anika advises from where she’s standing beside Ethan. “The rest of us certainly do.”

Chad throws his head back and laughs openly and Ethan’s pretty sure there’s not enough oxygen left in the room because— holy shit, the alpha’s smile is just all kinds of absolutely beautiful— and also, Ethan can’t seem to draw in a breath properly.

“What?” Chad defends, still sniggering softly. “I’m just saying! He smells good. Have any of you ever met a guy that smells like, I don’t know, flowers and chocolate and sunshine and shit?”

Ethan squirms, just a tiny bit, the hot blush still high on his cheeks.

And the girl Chad had called Mindy seems to catch his unspoken admission. Her eyes widen and she jumps up, grinning widely.

“Oh my God,” she breathes out, her expression one of utter epiphany, as she crosses the room and practically shoves Chad out of her way. “No way.”

The taller of the two alpha’s stumbles aside, frowning in offense as one of his hands flies down to the knot at the front of his towel to keep it in place.

“Hey!” he crows softly in displeasure. “Watch the goods, sis.”

Ethan can’t contain the puzzled little noise that spills out of him as Mindy leans considerably into his personal space, wide-eyed and thrilled, before she takes in a sharp whiff of his scent.

Because apparently, Ethan presumes, none of these people have ever been taught any basic freaking manners.

“Okay, Min,” Anika inserts, setting Ethan’s suitcase aside so she can take hold of one of the female alpha’s arms and pull her away slightly— into what most people would decree a more socially-acceptable distance. “Let’s not traumatize Chad’s new roommate first thing in the morning, yeah?”

Mindy turns her massive grin on the shorter beta.

“He’s an omega,” she proclaims in a near squeal, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Oh… my God, Ethan thinks, suppressing the urge to bury his face into the palms of his hands. He genuinely wishes the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.

Like, yeah, a male omega isn’t exactly the most common thing in the world— even in NYC— but does she really have to announce it to the room like that?

“Guys, you’re making him uncomfortable,” the tiny girl who had scolded Chad previously interjects from her spot atop Ethan’s bed, one corner of her lips tugging down.

Speaking of Chad, the alpha is kind of just standing there now, surveying Ethan with narrowed eyes and a frenzied forehead like he’s trying to piece it all together himself.

Fuck, Ethan laments, even at perplexity, his roommate is still exquisitely stunning.

Then the other boy groans; loud and long and suffering and it startles the shit out of Ethan and he watches— really fucking bewildered by it all— as Chad turns to his own bed where he ruffles through the pockets of an abandoned pair of jeans for a moment before pulling out a twenty dollar bill.

He hands it over to a positively beaming Mindy, who pockets the money and glances over her shoulder at the girl still sitting on the bed.

“Remind me to have Sam and Quinn pay up too,” she prompts. “Called it.” The other girl shakes her head at the alpha, but she’s smiling regardless of her disapproval.

Wait, Ethan thinks, Quinn?

“Quinn Bailey?” he inquires, brows furrowed. “The sophomore?”

Everyone turns to look at him.

Only Anika nods.

“You’re acquainted?” she questions, arching a perfectly-sculpted brow.

Ethan reaches up to run a hand through his curls awkwardly as he huffs out an inelegant little giggle.

“She’s my older sister,” he admits with a shrug and a timid smile. “How, uh, how do you guys know her?”

“She’s my roommate,” the girl on the bed remarks, finally moving to stand. “I’m Tara, by the way. Quinn shares an apartment with me and my sister, Sam. You know, she did mention a little brother. But from the way she talks about you, I was kind of expecting a little kid.”

“Oh,” Mindy decides, smirking in an almost ominous way. “This is… delicious.”

That’s terrifying, Ethan decides.

“Wait—” Chad butts in, both brows prominently arched. “You’re the brother from Quinn’s stories? The one she forced into dresses and makeup so she could play the evil dragon who locked the princess in a tower? That baby brother?”

Ethan’s face feels like it’s on fire all over again.

He’s going to murder Quinn.

He ducks his head a bit and watches as Chad’s lips languidly stretch out into a positively delighted smirk.

“Well, in that case, I should apologize for my earlier rudeness,” the boy laments in a deep twang that he’s obviously putting on for show, which he follows up with an exaggerated bow at the waist.

In his bent position, he peers up at Ethan through unfairly dark lashes and grins sinfully.

“Princess.”

Ethan is totally fucked.

#scream #scream vi #scream 6 #ethan landry #chad meeks martin #ethan landry x chad meeks martin #chadthan #chad x ethan #scream vi (2023)

[azumasoroshi]

Izaya & Shizuo Drama CD??????

so guess what i learned about today! it's truly incredible how much lesser-known content there is about shizaya once you start digging

ive known about dear girls stories for ages but i didnt realize there were actual drama cds for izaya and shizuo too 😭i thought this was just people pretending that daisuke ono and hiroshi kamiya were talking as shizaya (<-CLOWN behavior)

but nope 4 seconds in we got a Shizu-chan name drop so lmAOOO time to listen i guess

there's two of these translated by the DGS subs channel (tracks 9-15) so idk if there's more before or after these or if those tracks have different characters, which i probably wont watch unless shizuo and celty have one or something lmao

according to google translate, "kenka" = "fight" which is funny

can we talk about that official art btw because how did izaya get close enough to shizuo to steal his glasses without getting caught?? dawg???? i guess he came up from behind him or something but fuckin imagine izaya just hanging down from above and doing the spiderman thing...except he steals shizu-chan's glasses instead of kissing him. i should draw that actually

this is hilarious actually i cant stop grinning bskjgHDSH why are they talking civilly about the date. what are they doing

it took them 51 seconds to actually reference hating each other which might be a record! good job gays

wait we're skipping ahead?? to august 30th??? we're just not gonna explain why/how they were in a bathhouse together???? okay?????

bro chased izaya up a mountain??? there are songs written about that kind of stufff bro 😭 like "id climb the tallest mountains and cross the widest rivers for you". something along those lines. shizuoooo you're so dedicateddddd <33333

why does he sound surprised bsdkgshk 1. YOU called him and 2. YOU led him up the mountain. little shit

i had to delete a whole segment because my brain is dead and i thought the dates were going backwards and i was like huh. interesting amount of nonlinear storytelling going on here

yes because august and september come before july soro good job

adventurer day, cleaning day, mid-year day? is this whole drama cd just them unintentionally celebrating obscure holidays together what the fuck

shizuo was just talking about ironing where did you come from??? izaya????? and shizuo didnt even react bdsjkgsh i literally cant wrap my brain around this like how are they just casually talking

WHAT DOES "THAT KIND OF WORK" MEAN HUH

izaya stripper au real (im sorry. my head is permanently in the gutter i think)

izaya i think you're losing it a bit because how the fuck do you watch someone IRONING HIS CLOTHES and still think it's entertaining?? does literally anything shizuo does entertain you what the hell

bro is down horrendous

oh so THIS is the bath one, i thought that was the first scenario (half-year day) because of the cicadas?? for some reason. i mistook cicada noises for cricket noises im a clown

NERDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

damn izaya read his mind. #justcouplethings

shizuo joining in on the wordplay too GOD they're so annoying

and cue giant crashing wave sound effect

the tweet above mentions that this basically confirms that shizuo entered the bath with izaya and i havent been able to stop thinking about it. like izaya would enter the bath to fuck with shizuo but here shizuo joins him. hmmmmmmmm

translator asking the real questions here pFFF

#shizaya #shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #durarara #insane that this whole cd is just them being as chill as humanly possible for them #like what #they're just hanging out???? #it took me forever to finish this post because of my 1 hour limit auhwgushhggh i have to write my posts faster

[pixie-cocaine]

ATEEZ Reaction To: Their sick S.O. throwing up

Hello sunshine, I love your Ateez writings so much! Can I request an Ateez reaction to you waking up in the middle of the night being sick and you throw up?

Ohhh this is a good one, your mind. This is a non-gender specific one, so there’s there’s that, as well :)

Songs Listened To: My bird’s chirping

Hongjoong ♡:

• Snoozin woozin when he felt the bed shake as you struggled to throw the covers off of you

• In his post-sleep haze, he’d still be very concerned as to why you were so frantic

• “What’s wrong?”

• You wouldn’t be able to answer though, because, well, just as you hopped out of the bed and began to run to the open door...

• Blurghwaggbleghughagh 🤮

• Immediately rushed up to go steady you because gorl- you were HEAVING

• Holding onto that wall for dear life, eyes tearing up and everything. Yikies, here’s a glass of water or sum

• Tried scrubbing the vomit off your shirt, also went to fetch a wet rag and water

• “Fuck..,” You’d still be queasy, unconciously holding your stomach and staring down at the multi-colored puddle of your mushy dinner, trying not to look at Joong out of an odd sense of embarrasment, “I’m sorry… it got everywhere…”

• “Hey, hey, no一it’s not your fault at all, honey,” He’d frown and guide you back to bed

• Helped you change into different jammies and cleaned up with you, as well as got you a bucket

• Wouldn’t stop cuddling you and asking if you still felt gross ;(

Seonghwa ♡:

• You’d already felt your gut stirring when you went to bed, but you weren’t expecting to wake up in a cold sweat and experience the disgusting nausea that was happening in the same bed as Hwa

• You let out a pained whimper, head aching like it was being pounded on, and attempted to sit up

• You suceeded, but not without waking up Seonghwa

• He made a noise that you couldn’t quite register in the pain you were in, cuz damn you were trying your hardest to not pass out from the horrible headache-bordering-on-migraine

• “Mm… Baby…? Are you ok?”

• “I-… Ow..,” Was all you could get out. Your voice wavered, cracking, and the copious amounts of saliva that began to coat your mouth was a clear sign your stomach was readying to empty its contents, not to mention the lurching of your intestines

• The best word to describe it would be ‘agonizing’

• One second you were trying to slide the covers off you, the next, you were leant forward and throwing up all over the comforters and mattress

• It was literally horrible, dawg. Your throat felt like it was forcing itself open, and the yellow chunder that expelled from your mouth burned the inside lining of your trachea. You wanted to game end, maaan 😔🤙

• But it all turned out ok, because Hwa was there to help :))

• Acted fast after he got over his initial shock; bundled up the blankets and ushered you off the bed, gently pushing you towards the bathroom with a kiss to your forehead so you could go take a shower, and cleaned up the bed hella quick

• When you came back, he’d gave you a bunch of kitheth all over your face except your lips and slipped a hand under your shirt to gently rub/pat your tummy while you relaxed into his chest cuz he knew you still felt groggy (I’m gonna start crying, bro..)

Yunho ♡:

• Freaked the fuck out when you stumbled out of the bed and into the bathroom

• Though, since that bitch was sleep, it looked kinda like 😵 

• “____..?”

• Followed you haphazardly out of pure worry, and was like “Oh! 😧” when he saw you bent over the toilet and just adujadhbauidbuaqbduw into it

• The sounds also made him feel worse

• Nasty as hell, why do you sound like you’re throwing buckets of water into a kitty pool and burp right before it splashes

• Anyways

• It was hell for you :)

• While the ceramic of the toilet’s sides as well as the cold tile floor helped cool your feverish body and hands down, the smell of the water made your nausea worse. You could feel the sweat gather at your forehead as you banged your hand down on the lid out of strain and need to get bearings, gorl, you looked a literal mess

• You’re lucky Yunho doesn’t judge since he’s sweetness :D)

• Was genuinely really concerned; eyebrows knit in regard and a hand rubbing your back with each retch you made

• “It’s ok.. It’s ok,” He’d repeat, not really knowing any other way to comfort you

• When you were done, he’d kiss your temple and help wash your mouth out, praising you for getting to the bathroom in time and being so strong

• Scared puppy eyes the entire time [insert a crowd of awes]

Yeosang ♡:

• Had no idea what was going on when he opened his eyes upon the sound of your staggering footsteps in the hallway

• Then he heard you vomiting

• Was like ‘word? I know they did not just...’ and got up to peek his head out from the doorway

• Saw you bent over, only a couple feet from the bathroom, and holding onto the wall for dear life as you spewed ALL OVER the floor

• Couldn’t help but make a ‘😬’ face

• Like, you’re his baby, dawg

• He doesn’t wanna see you like that 😔

• Nervously laughed before moving over to step around the puddle, coming back with cleaning supplies, a cold rag, and a bucket

• “And here I was, telling you that you had a stomach bug and should get a bucket just in case”

• “I don’t need your bullshit right now, Yeosang,” You flipped him the bird but still smiled at his teasing, then cleaned up the mess with him 

• He’d tucked you into bed and put the rag on your forehead (kithed your eyelid for good luck UwU), and was about to roll over and go back to sleep when he realized the face you were making

• You looked kinda sad bro :(

• “What’s wrong?”

• “I feel kinda guilty. You were right, I should’ve gotten a bucket so I didn’t have our hallway all nast-”

• “I was just kidding, baby,” He grinned and put an arm above your head as he turned on his side to face you, caressing your cheek, “It wasn’t your fault. Plus, it was a... bonding moment?”

• “You literally got puke on your big toe, Yeosang-”

San ♡:

• When he felt the bed dip as you stood up from it, he cracked an eye open at first, but then he heard you gag and the sound of you spilling your fucking stomach out

• Shot up from his original position with wide eyes

• Now he was fully awake lol

• “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me..,” You said to yourself, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve and looking back at San with an expression that apologized before he could ask if you threw up

• “Did you...?”

• “Yeah.. Just go back to sleep, I’ll clean it up,” You didn’t give him time to reply before you already left the room to go get napkins and a cleaning agent

• In the end, he still helped with wiping it up :)

• Gave you some pepto bismol before you both laid down

• “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling bad... I could’ve gotten you medicine..”

• “WHY ARE YOU CRYING-”

Mingi ♡:

• Panicky ;(

• He was wondering where you were when he woke up because he was thirsty

• So on his way to the kitchen, he got his answer

• Bitch- you’re so loud and for what lmao

• I get it, I get it. You’re going through a horrible experience by literally regorging both stomach acid and everything you’ve eaten the day before, but like, why do you sound like you’re dying

• Shit, maybe you are, nvm

• Pushed the already ajar bathroom door open the rest of the way and got an unwanted eyefull of you hurling into the toilet bowl

• Bb was so worried about youuuu *sobs*

• Didn’t know what to do with himself for a sec, so he kinda just bounced in place and messed with his fingernails until he finally realised that it’d be helpful if he got you some medicine

• “I got you something for your stomach,” He stood beside you by the sink counter, where you were rinsing your mouth out, and held out the round pink tablets for you to sit on the surface of your tongue and wash down with some water

• “Thanks, babe,” You mustered a weak smile, ruffling his hair in adoration for the boy

• “Oh, you look like a zombie, ____!” 

• A crybaby

• Literally flung himself onto you and squeezed you half to death, nuzzling his cheek against your own and ready to cry for you when you put a hand on his chest and let out an exhausted groan

• “You’re gonna make me throw up again, Mingi...”

Wooyoung ♡:

• Omgomgomg it’s my favorite gang member 😍 

• Disqusted

• Was woken up by you shaking his shoulder

• “Huh...?”

• Sat up from his side, then saw the huge puddle of puke in the center of the covers

• Was like “Dawg.... I loved this comforter 😞,” and took a moment of silence to weep on the inside

• Then he clowned you about it :D

• “Ewww, dude!” He whined, pushing your arm slightly and looked towards you, a shit-eating grin on his face as he waited for your reaction

• “I can’t help it, asshole!” 

• You were ready to rip his head off lol

• The auDACity of this wench 🙄💅🏽

• Teased you, yet still helped clean everything up

• Two-faced ass

• Be’d make fun of the situation a lil bit, but he understands :)

Jongho ♡:

• Ah, he looks so soft in this gif UwU

• No judging from bb

• He understands you’re not feeling good, and that’s ok ;(

• So when he opens his eyes at the sound of you know, BLAKBURGHWHAGABLEGH 🤮, he’s already figured that you got sick

• You’re next to the bedroom door, holding onto the wall for leverage and clutching at your stomach, still shaking from the sudden action

• “Uh-oh, did you throw up?” He mumbles as he slides off the bed and makes his ways towards you, rubbing his eyes

• “Yeah...”

• “Go sit near the toilet for a bit just in case more comes, I can clean this up”

• You sigh and frown, appreciating the offer but not wanting your boyfriend to fix a mess that you made. Especially a gross one.

• “Jongho, you don’t have to...”

• He presses a kiss to your forehead and doesn’t answer, instead, placing his hands on your hips as he pushes you out the door and to the bathroom before heading to the kitchen

• “You don’t need to worry about me, just make sure you’re ok”

• The absolute sweetest ;((

#ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez fluff #kpop related #kpopidol #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #fluff #seonghwa fluff #ateez seonghwa #wooyoung fluff #ateez wooyoung #san fluff #ateez san #hongjoong fluff #ateez hongjoong #mingi fluff #song mingi fluff #song mingi #ateez mingi #yeosang fluff #ateez yeosang #yunho fluff #ateez yunho

[angst-fairygodmother]

Idiot (Affectionate) ~ A Bad Samaritan Fic

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST DAY

When your cousin Sean and his friend start up a valet business at Nino’s, where you work as a waitress, you don’t expect it to lead to any of what happens next.

Pairing: Derek Sandoval x Reader Word Count: 1893 Rating: T - mild language, reference to harassment

Masterlist

“So, how does it feel, your first big boy job?” you teased, elbowing your cousin in the ribs. 

“Oh haha,” Sean drawled, swatting at you. “You’re hilarious.”

“And adorable.” You dodged out his reach, and the two of you proceeded to chase each other around the podium for several minutes.

“I’m serious though, Sean. Suggesting Nino start doing valet parking, organizing the whole thing. I think it’s great. Better than car washes and dog walking. It shows initiative, and it’ll get Don off your back a bit.”

“How’d you know that was one of the goals?”

“Because I know you. Really, my only disappointment is that you brought him along.” You gestured over your shoulder to Derek who was just walking up. 

“Hey, come on now!” he cried.

“Derek’s my best mate, you know that Y/N,” Sean sighed. “And I think you two would get along if you gave him a chance.”

“Yeah, but he’s so...him,” you sighed, making a face of mock disgust. 

“Yo, hold up, what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Are you sure you want me to answer that question?” You cocked an eyebrow at him, whether he took it as a warning or challenge was up to him.

“Yeah. If you got a problem with me, I wanna know what it is.” 

“I don’t have a problem with you, per se. It’s just that...you’re arrogant, and loud. Not even your voice, just, the way you are. You act like you’re hot shit, but you’re not half as clever as you think.”

He scoffed in disbelief and even though you knew you should leave it there, something made you want to keep pushing, almost to see what happened if you got him riled enough. 

“If you were, you wouldn’t be working nothing but a string of dead-end jobs.” You shrugged. “Frankly, I think both of you are wasting considerable talent being valets instead of looking at the bigger picture.”

“Wait, hang on!” Sean protested. “A minute ago you were praising my initiative.”

“Better to start your own idea than working someone else’s, sure, but I was mostly trying to be nice.” You flashed an apologetic grimace, nose wrinkling. “You’re my favorite cousin and I love you?” you continued in a rush, hoping to cover up your admission of insincerity with charm.

Sean rolled his eyes fondly at you.

“Well if you’re so smart, how come you ain’t doin any better? You’re just like us, Miss Waitress,” Derek said mockingly.

“Except I’m doing this because textbooks cost like four hundred bucks a piece and I don’t have an extra kidney to sell. Unless you’re going to give me yours?” You gave him another challenging look before sighing. “As soon as I have that degree in my hand, I am outta here.”

“Some of us got families to take care of, can’t just run away when we get bored.”

“I…” you took a deep breath, deflating. “I didn’t mean it like that. All I was trying to say is I know Sean’s got talent and someone else is bound to notice eventually, and there’s probably a brain in that head of yours somewhere. I find it hard to believe that you want to do this for life. Family first sure, I get it, but don’t you want...don’t you deserve more?”

Derek and Sean both frowned, unsure of how to answer you. Of course neither of them wanted to be valets or car washers or grocery baggers forever. But they had bills to pay, food and rent and electricity to afford. If they didn’t keep up with here and now, all the bigger picture thinking and dreaming of the future in the world wasn’t going to help. 

Something inside the restaurant caught your eye and you shook your head.

“I should probably get in there. Nino’s got Val doing place settings, and we probably don’t want to be auctioning off butter knives.” You shoved your hands in the pockets of your black slacks and flashed them both a smile. “Good luck tonight.”

Derek made no secret of staring at your ass as you walked away, a fact that Sean definitely noticed. 

“Come on, seriously?” he asked his friend, making a gesture of both annoyance and defeat.

“What dawg? Your cousin’s kind of a bitch sometimes, but she’s hot as hell. I’m just appreciating.”

~

“Nino,” one of the chefs asked a few days later. “How come you don’t feed those two boys parking cars? You feed everyone else. They must be starved out there all night.”

Nino looked thoughtful, as if it hadn’t occurred to him before. You frowned, loading your tray with table seven’s appetizers. 

“Well, they don’t really work for Nino like the rest of us, do they? They’re independent contractors,” you pointed out.

“Cold, Y/N,” the busboy, John, teased. “Throwing your cousin under the bus.”

You shrugged, weaving your way out of the kitchen. “If he wants food he should learn to put it in his contract.”

About an hour later, Nino was flagging you over, for the third time that night.

“Y/N, Y/N,” he said, rushed. “No one is eating the lasagna.”

“I can try to push more of it, talk it up or something?” you offered, not sure why he was telling you.

“No, no. It’s fine. I just don’t want to see it go to waste.” He smiled like an idea was suddenly dawning on him. “Why don’t you take some to the boys out front. David is right, they must be hungry.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh. You should have suspected as soon as it was brought up that Nino would cave. Nodding, you went back to the kitchen to relay the order and wait.

With the two plates, rolled silverware tucked in your apron pocket, you made easy work of weaving through the restaurant and elbowing open the doors, only to grimace uncomfortably when you realized it was just Derek at their podium.

“Hey,” you said awkwardly, making him jump in surprise. “Uh...Nino thought you might be hungry and no one was eating the lasagna so he sent me out with some for you and Sean...where is Sean?”

“He’s just parking somebody, he’ll be back in a minute. Nino’s givin' us free food?” you tried to suppress a smile at the excitement in his voice. 

“No, I just brought these out to taunt you,” you joked, rolling your eyes as you handed him one of the plates and dug into your pocket for his fork. 

You were silent for a minute, shifting awkwardly, from foot to foot, still holding Sean’s plate and not sure what to do with it.

“About what I said the other night,” you said finally, chewing on your lip. 

Derek stopped, fork halfway to his mouth and looked at you.

“I may have been...unreasonably harsh…” you said hesitantly. “And I…”

The words died on your throat as you found yourself wondering if you were actually sorry. You felt guilty, but you still meant what you said. Sean and Derek were both smart people, and you thought they could do better. You had been working at Nino’s since you were nineteen, and had seen so many people insist that a job was just temporary, only to still be there almost a decade later. You didn’t want to see that happen to either of them. 

You were trying to remind yourself that it wasn’t about you, when Derek cut through your thoughts.

“Don’t sweat it, I’ve already forgotten,” he said. “It’s all good bro.”

“Oh.” He seemed so genuine in his reassurance and you weren’t sure what to do with that. Instead you changed the subject. “Where is Sean? Shouldn’t he be able to park a car quickly if he’s going to be a valet?”

“I can just hold onto his food, if you gotta get back in there.”

“Please,” you shook your head. “I’m in no rush to return to Awkward First Date, Going to Ask for a Divorce Any Second, or Family With the Twins from The Shining.” 

“How come you only got three tables when the place is packed? Don’t you handle five or six like a breeze?”

 “I got moved off two, one of them was my fault. So instead I get anyone that wants to eat at the bar. And my section has the last empty table. How’d you know how many tables I usually have?”

“Uh...I overheard some people talking when I went for a smoke break.” His eyes shifted to the side, avoiding your curious look.

“Riight.” You nodded exaggeratedly. There was no way in hell you believed that, unless they’d been gossiping about you losing tables, but he didn’t seem to know about that. 

“Anyway, why’d they get pulled?”

“The one that was my fault or the one that wasn’t?”

“Both,” he sighed, making a somewhat impatient gesture. “Sean is out parking the first car that’s showed up in an hour. Talkin’ to you’s at least something to do.”

“Glad to know I rank above staring at the sidewalk or counting the windows across the street.” You rolled your eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” 

You leaned back, resting your elbows against the edge of the podium, bringing your faces surprisingly close together. He shoveled a bite of food into his mouth to distract himself from that fact, and the things he was thinking he could do.

“Couple of suit-and-ties celebrating some sort of business deal. One of them asked the new kid if she was on the menu, a few other lewd comments. They made her really uncomfortable, so Nino switched us around, figuring I could handle it.” You shrugged. “Same guy got a little...grabby for things that aren’t his. Nino spotted it and decided to take over the table himself. That’s one down.”

Derek frowned. He’d known plenty of people that worked in restaurants. Managers, and owners especially, didn’t typically move someone off a table for a little handsiness. But maybe Nino was one of the rare ones that went above and beyond for his staff. And if not and you didn’t want to tell him the whole thing, who was he to judge?

“The other was a complaint that I was ‘belligerent.’”

“But you’re cuddlier than a kitten, how could they ever think that?” he laughed. 

You stuck your tongue out at him childishly, laughing along. 

“All I did was correct them on my name,” you protested. “...every time they called me Sweetcheeks.”

For some reason, this only made Derek laugh harder, nearly choking on a mouthful of pasta. 

“Definitely not hostile.”

“Whatever, you dick.” You shoved him playfully and suddenly the two of you froze.

This was a shift in dynamic, a tipping point. Would he let you get away with it and tilt the scale from acquaintance to friendship? Or would he take offense? 

Sean found you in that waiting tension, shattering it with his greeting as he finally returned from parking the car. You awkwardly explained the meal delivery and sighed that you had to get back to work, someone would come get the dishes in a bit. 

Derek locked eyes with you as you turned to go. You flashed a quick smile back. 

“Did I miss something?” you heard Sean ask, lilt exaggerated by his confusion.

#canon divergent au #look we all love Sean but I am very fond of Derek #and he did not deserve what happened #so I'm gonna fix it #eventually #Derek Sandoval x Reader #Bad Samaritan fic

[unrestedjade]

fic writing meme: 1, 12, 17, 18, 21

Oh dang, that’s a lot! Think I’ll put this behind a cut to spare everyone’s dash.

1. The first fandom I wrote and posted for was Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. But! Somewhere in a landfill is a notebook with a very overwrought Animorphs fic about Ax falling in love with my very cool, original-character-donut-steel alien bat-centaur who can tell the future. Every day I thank the universe for not letting my family have internet access until I was 14. Actually, maybe the universe should have held out longer, but you can peep the cringe for yourself over here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/173909/Fortuna

Yes, that is my old ff.net profile. My only regret is that I didn’t get a chance to back up my ask fics before the site suddenly decided to make a rule banning them and deleted them all. (Me, still salty over that 15 years later? Why, yes actually.)

12. A trope I haven’t tried yet but really want to? It’s hard to narrow it down; there’s a lot of “cliche” fanfic tropes I never let myself write that I want to indulge in this year. I’m thinking about finding one of those bingo cards to use or something. But since I grew up sneaking my mom’s romance novels, I think an arranged marriage would be fun to try if I have to pick just one.

17. The fic I’m most proud of should come as no surprise, lol. I still can’t believe I finished something as long and plotty as finaglc. Would love to manage it again someday. :’)

18. Line/scene dvd commentary: okay okay okay! So there’s this more-or-less abandoned DaphGan Legend of Zelda fic I was writing back in the day, that was just a loose serious of vignettes in chronological order. I had ideas for like 20 chapters and fizzled out because it turns out only about three people on the whole earth give a shit about DaphGan and I can’t write in a complete void of feedback. Anyway, I researched medieval boar hunting techniques because I desperately wanted an action scene culminating in a ~bad omen~ and here it is, so scroll by if you just want to see the last question in the batch:

Within minutes, they were deep enough that the forest canopy closed above them, far above Ganondorf’s head.  In the cool and the dim, and with the rustling of leaves in the breeze overhead sounding almost like waves, Ganondorf felt as though he were at the bottom of a great, ancient lake.  Mist lay in a thick blanket on the ground as high as the smaller horses’ barrels, and a carpet of dead leaves and needles deadened the sounds of their movement.  The hunters had fallen silent.   About that, he had no complaints.

(I recall being inordinately fond of the underwater imagery, because I’d been struggling for how to conceptualize a thick forest for a person who’s spent most of his life in the open desert.)

Save for ferns and scattered herbs, there was little in the way of troublesome plants or low branches beyond the border of the forest, and Ganondorf realized that King Daphnes’ suggestion the day before had, in truth, been polite censure of his clothing rather than any practical concern.  He frowned, and put the thought aside.  It did not matter.

(I was not at all subtle about the Hylians picking at the Gerudo envoy’s appearances, which I think I could handle a little better now, but alas...)

He thought instead on the many sounds surrounding them, his ears straining to hear every one.   There was birdsong, in patterns and notes he had never heard.  Small creatures rustled in the trees.  Water gurgled somewhere out of view.   The woods were full of life in every direction, and Ganondorf quietly marvelled at its richness.

All of this, for the sport of one family?

(This piece of writing is old enough that I was still using the now-defunct “two spaces after a period” rule, wow. Also, hello there, years-old misspelling. :/)

They kept to a walking pace for an hour or two, hushed but alert.  The dogs picked up a scent, the party wheeling around to follow after them.   Ganondorf rode alongside King Daphnes.  The man’s eyes were alight as he looked down the deer trail ahead of the dogs; a small smile of anticipation grew on his face.  "They have something, eh?” he said, in a whisper.  “What did I tell you!”

The lead dog threw its head back, baying.  It launched itself forward and the rest of the pack followed suit, tails held high like flags.

An enormous boar, all sinewy muscle and bristled hide, burst from a nearby thicket and was driven ahead of them.

“Aha!" The king spurred his horse to a gallop, the rest of the party just behind.  Ganondorf quickly found himself bringing up the rear.

The stallion seemed to find this as unacceptable as he did, for without his urging it picked up speed, long strides eating up the ground until the pair were level with the king once more.

(This bit started with the rest of the hunting party giving G-dawg mad shit for insisting on riding his stallion instead of a more appropriate horse, so I had to vindicate him, of course.)

Ganondorf’s eyes were now fixed on the boar.  He crouched low over the stallion’s neck, free hand fisted in the tangles of its mane.  They pulled ahead to run with the dogs, until even the dogs were falling behind them.

"Stay with it!"  The king’s bellow carried over the thunder of the stallion’s hooves.  "Keep running it!”

They ran.  The boar was fast and nimble, leading a chase through dense copses and over fast-flowing streams.  The world fell away until all that remained was the path they weaved through the trees, the rolling strength of the horse beneath him, the forest rushing by in a blur of green and loamy brown, and the boar.

Ganondorf laughed like a child, his heart light for first time since he’d come to this impossibly green land.

The chase ended when the boar made to leap over a fallen log and could not clear it, tumbling end over end.  The beast scrambled to its hooves, brandishing its long tusks.  It had reached the point of exhaustion, steam rising from its hide, muscles quivering with exertion.  It could run no longer.

Ganondorf held it at bay, keeping the point of his spear trained on it.  He did not wish to incite it to charge and risk his horse.  He simply looked at it, watching the boar watch him with wide, red eyes.  Foam gathered at its mouth, and he wondered whether it would die where it stood, if its heart had burst in its chest.

The baying of the dogs was not far off.  The hunters were closing in.

(Still a little puffed up over the juxtaposition of hunting being legitimately thrilling but cruel. Catch my bro getting swept up in the excitement.)

“Excellent work!"  Daphnes was at the head of the party, as he had been to start.  "Oh, well done, man!”

As the dogs circled, barking and snapping, the boar stood its ground, head lowered.  It made a few feints at the dogs foolish enough to attack, but as the hunters closed in it had less and less room to manoeuvre.   Ganondorf could see it rallying for a final effort, weariness flowing into terror and rage.

It roared, lunging, scattering the dogs.   Blood streaked its tusks.  A horse reared when its leg was cut by sharp hooves.  For a moment, it looked to Ganondorf as though it might break away again and escape.

In one practiced motion, Daphnes leapt from his horse and sunk his spear deep into the boar’s side.

Ganondorf’s racing heart froze.  Pain keener than any he had ever felt lanced through him, choking him on a silent cry.  He clutched at his chest, groping for the spear-head that wasn’t there.  His own spear fell from numb fingers to the forest floor.  Terror and agony, all-encompassing, swept over him in a crushing wave.

None of the other hunters noticed his distress.  All eyes were locked on their king’s struggle with the beast.  The boar screamed, running against the spear as if it would happily run the length of it to reach Daphnes with its final breath.  The cross-tree of the spear and the strength of the man wielding it kept the boar’s tusks far from its target, however, and for every drop of blood that spilled from its side a portion of its strength bled away with it.

After what felt far too long, the boar collapsed.  It’s screams had faded to rattling breaths, and when Daphnes stepped forward, knife drawn, it did not resist.

It was on Ganondorf that its red eyes rested when its throat was cut, in some mute accusation or seeking solace, he could not say.  The pain in his chest receded when the final gout of blood ran out onto the dark earth.  By the time Daphnes stood from his task, wiping his hands and blade clean on a rag, Ganondorf might have believed that the pain had been a trick of his imagination.

(This thing with the dead boar was meant to keep coming up in small ways throughout the rest of the vignettes as a harbinger of G-dawg’s ultimate failure and doom along with being an illustration of how he twists and suppresses himself for the sake of pleasing Daphnes, but of course it’ll probably never happen now since I’m five years out. I really did like this idea, though, and this scene was super fun to write. Except for now I’ve noticed another old typo. T_T)

21. The fic that got away? Lots; I actually have a horrible track record for finishing long fics. The one I’m most bummed out by, that I still think of from time to time, was actually a fill for the old Transformers Anonymous Kink Meme on LJ. It was Animated-verse pre-war Ratchet/Ultra Magnus with a detour into Ratchet/Megatron. I was about two thirds of the way done when something happened in the community that I can’t recall anymore derailed me, and I never ended up finishing it. Sometimes I think about scraping it off the meme to at least archive what I had done on Ao3 or something, but I probably won’t lol. It would take forever to track it down since this was back in like, 2012.

[flametendingbartender]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ 

TAGGED BY: @mrfunnybone​ !! thanks for the tag, buddy ! 

TAGGING: anyone! i don’t have a whole lot of folks on here so...have at it!

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [while i see a select few dig him, he’s no mister popular.]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ he is in fact literal fire.]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ he certainly exists!]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean.....i personally stan the fire man, so that puts one confirmed member of his fanclub up.]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO [not at all. even in the genocide route he kinda just...dips out, lmao. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ well, not unless you consider yourself to be in dire need of one sweet ‘burg.]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / IDK. [it’s been awhile, but i really don’t recall anyone outside of snowdin remarking on grillby’s/grillby? ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [grillby’s reputation typically teeters on “wow what a warm wallflower” or “he seems....nice.” he’s not a big conversationalist. despite this, he does love his line of work.]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?  — while i do prefer to stick to the canon core of things, there’s admittedly only 1 line of dialogue and pages of ellipses for my character so i’d say i’ve personally gone off the rails with good ole grillbz.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.  —  

.........................................  ................................................................. ...................................................................................

...........................................................................................he’s good. 

Do you like that? If you crave more ellipses, come on down to Grillby’s, a place of subtlety, crudeness, good food, bad laughs, and one little skeleton monster that tests the financial patience of one poor Fire Elemental.

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).  —  grillby is truly a simple fellow. while he values the business of his patrons, and does hold a spiritual love for monsterkind, he wants to chill. he has a tendency to fall into adventures, but he doesn’t really want them. he’s not a big fan of talking with others either. he enjoys conversation, mind you, but he doesn’t enjoy really putting in his input, however, so call him King of Miscommunication and Misunderstandings. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  —  i used to run a crazy hectic mtt blog back in the ye olden days, so. it was nice to switch to somethin a lil more relaxed with no expectations set on me. grillbz is grillbz.i like pretty fire aesthetic. you can argue about his canon/backstory/character arc/actions/etc. too but at the end of the day? ain’t nothin really to him. so have fun with it.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  —  ngl, @wdvoided​ & @mrfunnybone​ are my core inspiration peeps. Vii n i have an incredibly over the top but amazing, in depth series of interactions between our bois and caitie’s sans is a good pal....or rather, one swell bff. also, i adore bowties. so, i want to write more rps where grillby wears them or makes other people wear them

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ain’t much to him, dawg. he’s a pretty fire man with bowties, so i’ll do my best. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ngl, i never really post them tho;; ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [i have 2 in my drafts rn!]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ sometimes! if i have writer’s block for my own projects, i tend to daydream about him n when he was in his hip, cool Younger Days.]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ while i’m confident in my writing, i’m not so sure it’s a hot take for the character or one that’s all that interesting. after all, much of grillby’s fascinating points are....well, not exactly easy to bring up to the surface since he doesn’t t a  k.]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ mostly! there are rough days where i’m not confident in a whole lot, to be frank.]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [nah, i’m used to high stress environments.]

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  —  yes! depending. this is one of few characters i’ve written where i don’t really have a canon basis for him, and thus, instead am “winging it” constantly.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  —  110% absolutely

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  nope! we’re all entitled to our opinion, my guy. have at yours, but i stan that grillby would wear light up sketchers and if you disagree you are, clearly, incorrect. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  —  everything’s up for grabs except the sketchers thing. i’ll see you in the purgatory parlor before i sway on that one, buddy.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  bro.....what are you then? a cup of water? seems odd, but i can’t help those age old disputes.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  —  yes, please. i would much rather fix a simple mistake than leave it there.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   —  i like to think so. can’t say i’ve ever kicked up too much of a fuss here on the internet. 

#🍶. ╰ ᵒⁿ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ. ╱ qᵘᵉᵘᵉᵈ ᵖᵒˢᵗ #🍔. ╰ ᵍʳⁱˡˡ'ˢ ᵈᵒʷⁿ. ╱ ᵒᵒᶜ.

[sikereviewdotcom]

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on  a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling 

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged  there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood 

jk 

tg, out

#wilfred #review #series review #wilfred review #wilfred 2011 #furry #sike reviews

[hyphypmic]

The Dirty Dawg: Build-A-Bear

Dedicated to @straynoel ! Thank you for the lovely suggestion. Sorry it came so late! School is always gonna be a bitch you know? 

Samatoki

Regrets ever agreeing to going on this date, but then when he sees your face light up at the aspect of going to a Build-a-Bear workshop, he suddenly has no regrets, though he has to look like he doesn’t want to be there because he’s a toughie like that

Picking the stuffed animal: believe it or not, he get’s kind of involved. The kind of really annoying involved

“Idiot. Don’t get that one, the seam looks loose.”

“Those eyes are too creepy.”

“Why would you choose a bunny at a build-a-bear workshop.”

“Don’t get white, it’s going to get dirty.”

You don’t get annoyed though, even if some people are wondering why a Yakuza boss is in such a place, you find it cute that he’s trying to act all tough when in reality he’s kind of invested

Ultimately, you end up choosing the classic teddy bear, just because Samatoki said that it’s cute and that its the entire point of going to build a bear is to make a bear

For choosing clothes: this part takes even longer than the bear choosing part because Samatoki looks like he’s actually shopping and doesn’t let you get the pink sparkly ones because… I mean… he won’t be caught dead buying that for you

You decide though that he gets no say in it and you choose a white polo and black pants and rubber shoes

And a leather jacket

He realises it’s his clothes after like, fifteen minutes

You say that it’s because you want to be with Samatoki AKA Mr Ha Ko on The Microphone even if he’s not there with you

Samatoki really tries hard not to blush and is just calling you dumb repeatedly

For Accessories

You get a microphone. Enough said. You almost get the sunglasses but Mr Ha Ko said no even if he looked like he was thinking about it. Maybe next time.

For choosing the Sounds:

Nope. -Samatoki

Though you get the burping sound so it’s funny, much to his chagrin

It kind of reminds you of whenever Riou (unfortunately cooks)

For choosing the scent

Samatoki doesn’t like any of the smells to be associated with Samatoki Jr., but he offers his cologne instead

For the Heart Ceremony

Oh my, its free, the heart I mean and you’re all for it. Samatoki however, is not.

You make him do it and Samatoki refuses so hard, but then he does it anyway

The person in charge makes it as unhumiliating as possible because he is THE yakuza boss and he is THE scariest person ever so it’s just a quick: rub it on your chest so that he feels the best! Rub it on your head please don’t make me dead- I mean, so that it will be wise! Rub it on your arms (oh damn that bicep) so that he’ll be strong yay! Please don’t kill me

It’s funny though to see him grumbling like that

For stuffing

He’s actually willing to help you and is like actually careful so that you don’t over stuff it

For naming

“WE’RE NOT NAMING IT SAMATOKI JR.”

“What no… not Mr. Ha Ko, he’s too… soft”

You: But it has to remind me of you!

Him: eh… Toki?

You actually name it Toki and make him sign the birth certificate  (he signs with reluctance as ever and tries to look tough but really how can you look tough at a place like this)

He pays for it. No hesitation whatsoever and practically drags you out of the workshop, complaining about how embarrassing it is, but you know he enjoyed it

You find out later that he did the same thing for Nemu, except he did it alone.

Ichiro

Is all in for it

No regrets whatsoever

Yes let’s go there.

Ichiro actually has gone there for Saburo (and Jiro… and himself) so he says your bear can join the Buster Bros Bear Family

Picking the Stuffed Animal:

Something nerdy and yes he is so into choosing

“Don’t you want a dragon?”

“Oh wait but those clothes won’t fit…”

“Oh maybe a regular bear? Nah that’s boring.”

“Oh but if it’s blue it would be weird if we dressed him or her up in that outfit bc the character doesn’t have blue skin

Though, you end up picking a generic bear and decide to go all out on the clothes and the accessories so you have more freedom to personalise

Ichiro wants to buy the Pokemon build a bear online though, maybe some day

Choosing Clothes and Accessories

Here we go, you’re both cosplayers and you both know your way with clothes so this part

You immediately talk over the pros and cons of what cosplay to buy for the bear

Or at least, something that resembles the anime of your choice

You both agree to dress up the bear (and give it the accessories) of your favourite anime character from your favourite anime

Ichiro makes sure it is accurate as possible

Down to the top, the number of buttons, color of bottoms, color of the accessories and the overall vibe of the bear

No like, he really took it so seriously

And so did you

Choosing the Sounds

Well, none are accurate enough, but since you can record sounds, Ichiro plays one of the iconic lines from the anime and records it on the sound

Yes you both look like weebs but you both are cute weeds because nothing is cuter than making a toy look nerdier or as nerdy as the two of you combined

Choosing the Scent

Match personality to scent…. Well you tried but in the end you picked lavender

Ichiro said that it smelled good so you just went with it and trusted in his judgement because you love and believe in your boyfriend yehey

For the Heart Ceremony

Oh well, you make Ichiro do this one with you and he wholeheartedly agrees with it.

Thankfully, the employee knows you’re both weeds so he/she makes the entire thing super anime related!

Rub it on your head so he’s as smart as ___! Rub it on your arms so he’s strong as Goku! Jump up and down for it to have the power of _____! Etc. Etc. It actually lasts a longer time than usual because the employee is also a weeb

For Stuffing

He places a kiss on your nose before he helps you stuff it carefully until it is full enough so that you can hug it tight and it will give you comfort yay

For naming

Well obviously, you name it after the character you dressed it up as

Then you realise you can buy other clothes and ichiro realises this also

So you both have to decide on the name

Akira, for the sake of having the nickname of Aki which is pretty cute if you ask me

Also, at this point you both realise you could have cosplaying bears with your disgustingly cute couple cosplays

Both of you sign the birth certificate and he boops you on the nose with the bear and plays with it as if it is the character

Ichiro pays for it, and even buys and extra outfit for his bear to be matching with yours.

Jakurai

Kind of reluctant, but goes with it anyway if that’s what makes you happy

However when you both get to the mall, he seems to be slightly into it

He actually thinks this would be a good idea for Doppo and Hifumi and for his clinic… mostly whenever Doppo visits he’s a nervous wreak.

Picking the Stuffed Animal:

Is kind of serene about it

Picks each one up gently and strokes it like really peacefully like he’s actually contemplating each one

He does suggest some, but mostly just helps you choose between the options you picked

You get a Sabertooth and Jakurai gets a Wolf

Reasoning behind the Sabertooth is because it’s cute

Wolf… because… Matenrou… I mean… duh

You actually tease him about it but he blushes and clutches it tighter

He genuinely wants one

Choosing Clothes and Accessories

Jakurai obviously wants a doctor’s outfit for his!

Complete with the head light and the stethoscope

And the clipboard

And a chew toy

Yes it costs money but how much do you think Jakurai, the leader of Matenrou, winner of the most recent division battle, talented doctor, etc etc, earns?

You pick whatever the hell you want, but you get a black turtleneck for your sabertooth because why not

Choosing the Sounds

Jakurai picks a heartbeat sound because whenever he visits the children’s ward, he wants the kids to hear the heartbeat of their new friend (no I’m not crying you’re crying bitch)

You pick a meow because it’s kinda cute to hear such a “fearsome” beast meow

Because it’s cute, I mean… hello why not

Jakurai doesn’t even fight you at all, he’s like content to see you happy with what you’re doing, plus he’s also having fun making his wolf

Choosing the Scent

Jakurai chooses strawberry because it’s kid-friendly and he remembers both Doppo and hifumi like that scent, as artificial as it might be

You pick lavender, well there’s no exact reason, but it might be Jakurai’s shampoo, though you never actually know because with hair as great as his, he probably uses a shit ton of great shampoo

For the Heart Ceremony

Now, Jakurai being 30 something and you being of the same age-ish, there is no way the two of you were going to do it

However, there are some small kids there that know Jakurai (and you by default) and look really really hopeful that you’re going to do it

So your mom and dad instincts come out and you both enlist the help of your kids

The employee does the usual heart ceremony, and you and Jakurai really enthusiastically do it with the kids because you’re motivated to make them laugh as the ceremony gets sillier and sillier

You see the genuine joy in Jakurai’s face when he’s helping people and you get a little emotional because wow he’s such a great guy

For Stuffing

You’re both careful with your toys and you know, you’re still gushing over Jakurai being a wonderful doctor and he’s good with kids (I mean he has two big kids, so how different would actual kids be)

He just says that you’re incredible as well

You know, you’re both at that age where you just want a fluffy domestic life so you’re both kind of just glowing in happiness

For naming

You sign each other’s birth certificates (DOMESTICITY IS LIFE BRO) and you name yours Airi (meaning beloved Jasmine) and he names his Tsuyoshi (which means strong) because he wants his patients to always feel like they’re strong and that they’re brave

Jakurai of course pays for both bears and you both have like a coffee after and have a very cute and fluffy date

You also take pictures with the kids you played with a while ago because they’re his fans and they want you and he wants you to be in the picture because really they had so much fun

Ramuda

Is the one that suggested this date happen

Yes we all know he’s a manipulative, multi-layered personality, but he actually enjoys doing build-a-bear

Loves it. Practically skips his way to build a bear.

Has gone there for himself… and for himself… he has at least three

Picking the stuffed animal:

Nope not the bear

Why would you get the bunny

Get the unicorn!!! Ooo or the dragon *drags you* oh what about this one it’s so soffftttttt

Ok so you both end up getting a pastel pink cat (him) and a pastel pink dog (you)

Because

I mean

Your boyfriend’s hair is pink… and he has a lollipop that’s pink… and his speakers are candy… I mean if anything you like that kind of thing

Choosing Clothes and Accessories

Oh god this takes longer than Samatoki and Ichiro

Ramuda is the fashion designer

No that clashes with the pink!”

“Why would you choose that pants with that shoes”

“Are you kidding me with the skirt? You should get a patterned one if you want a plain shirt.”

Your outfit:

Pastel Rainbow tutu

Rainbow unicorn hoodie

White sneakers

Star Necklace

His outfit:

He also likes the rainbow unicorn hoodie so you’re matching

He also wants to get it in real life

Pink shorts

White sneakers

Star Necklace

Outfits are so cute and Ramuda is thinking about actually getting that outfit

Choosing Sounds

Meow and Woof

I mean, it’s pretty cute

And nothing is more kiddie than picking the actual sounds of the animal and giggling

Oh no actually after you pick up the meow and woof, you both decide to pick I love you sounds so you both can squeeze it at each other

Ramuda may be a sketchy fuck who probably has a network and he knows what he’s doing, but he’s a child and he just wants fun

Choosing the Scent

Oh this one is fast

Ramuda immediately goes for the bubblegum and you for the vanilla cupcake

No debate whatsoever

And also you’re both craving for sweets

For The Heart ceremony

Let’s go

You’re both so game for it like, the employee is a huge ramuda fan so she goes for it with the heart ceremony

Give it a twirl!

Ramuda: wheee~

Clap your hands together rub it on your heart

Blow a kiss!

 Dance to “insert J-Pop and K-Pop song here” so that your friend will have rhythm

Jump around!

So on and so forth! 

For Stuffing

Overstuffed the first time

Understuffed when you take it out

The employee ends up helping you because you both keep fucking up

Ramuda gives you a big hug after and holds your hand

For Naming

You sign each other’s birth certificates

Ramuda has a really nice signature with the hearts and the stars

Yours: Mao (Dance Cherry Blossom)

His: Hoshiko (Star child) because he likes it and it’s great

Obviously, Ramuda is secretly loaded, but you somehow space out and pay for it… though Ramuda sneaks the money back in your bag like the kid he is

#Hypnosismic #hypmic #thedirtydawg #tdd #ramuda amemura #samatoki aohitsugi #jakurai jinguji #ichiro yamada #hypnosismicrophone #matenrou #buster bros #fling posse #mad trigger crew #build a bear #headcanon

[peachymhaechan]

“Not even one snow angel?”

Genre: fluff

Warnings: language bc im too dumb to find better words

Pairing: Jaehyun x gender neutral reader

Author’s Note: yall it’s so cold that they had to cancel school for three days bc it’s supposed to be in the negatives for three days straight, so yall already know what that means: time to write fluff focused around Jung Jaehyun when I should be preparing for my biotechnology debate,,, yeehaw !! also: im shook that yall liked the mark mafia au so much,,, I will have another mafia au out soon, love yall !!

our story is set in fair Verona, where it is cold as tits out

jk its not actually set in Verona but ya know. Romeo and Juliet, am I rite, laid ease and gents?? (even tho that story is high key messed up and I don’t really understand why people aspire to have relationships like that) 

no but for real, classes for the next couple of days were cancelled because of a negative ten degree Fahrenheit wind chill, and that meant you had nothing to do (other than procrastinate your class work)

yeehaw, am I rite, laid ease and gents???

n e ways, 

rather than staying in your dorm all day w your dorm mate whom you did not always get along very well with, 

you decided to carpe the fuck outta that diem and play in the snow with some of you friends

lacing up the boots you shoved over four pairs of socks, you called Johnny, a kid you’d known since your freshman algebra class

“Seo, let’s go outside for once.” 

“Excuse me, what? Is it the sleep deprivation talking or did I hear you just say the words lets go and outside in one sentence?” a sleepy Johnny said from the other line

“Haha, very funny, dumbass. Let’s go play in the snow,” you told him, throwing on a winter coat 

“Y/N, it is eleven AM,” Johnny told you, causing you to roll your eyes as you shut the door

“Really? I had no clue, Johnny, thank you for telling me.” 

“Y/N, it is eleven AM on a day when classes are cancelled,” Johnny rephrased

“Yes, I am well away. Suit up, Seo. I am on my way over, be there in five.” 

on your way, you looked at all the snow and tried not to slip on ice

you made a few stops at some of your other friends’ dorms, and by the time you got to Johnny’s, there was a small army of people ready to play in the snow (and wake up Johnny)

“Mark, can I please wear your hat?” Haechan whined, flashing Mark puppy dog eyes and tugging on his sleeve

“Y/N, make him give me his hat,” the boy begged you, turning those eyes on you

“Mark, do what the baby says,” you told him, knocking on Johnny’s door

johnny seo opened the door, and before you could say anything, you were hit with a snowball in the face

“JONATHON SEO, WHAT THE FUCK???” 

he started cackling and said, “Before you guys got here, I went outside and made a snowball, then put it in a bowl in my mini fridge.” 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??”

“Nothing, Y/N, I thought you wanted to play in the snow?” 

“Johnny, we are not IN the snow right now. We are standing in the middle of your dorm building, while snow drips down my face. I am going to destroy you when we are actually in the snow.” 

“I’d like to see you try, dumbass. Oh, also: do you care if I invite someone to hang out with us today?” he asked, and for some reason, everyone pivoted their attention to the six foot tall man, which you did not notice

“Go ahead, the more the merrier. Right, guys?” you asked, and everyone nodded a little too enthusiastically

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion but didn't ask any questions

“Who all were you planning on inviting?” you asked, trying to get more info out of him

Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, Jaemin, Jeno, and Lucas all avoided eye contact

“I don’t know, probably just a few of the other guys... Ten, Taeyong, Winwin, Kun, and Jae.” 

so THAT’S why they were acting weird 

those two faced whores

“Jae?” you asked, trying to do some more subtle investigating

“Yes, Jae.” 

“Jae as in... Jaehyun?” 

“Yes, Jae as in Jaehyun.” 

“Like... Jung Jaehyun?” 

“Yes, Jung Jaehyun.” 

“Like..... your roommate Jung Jaehyun?” 

“Yes, my roommate Jung Jaehyun.” 

“The one that I think is hot and told you all that I have a crush on him?” 

“That’d be the one.” 

oh no

oh fuck no

“Unless, of course, you want me to tell him that something has come up and he is no longer invited.” 

“No, no, that’s not necessary, he can still.... he can still join us, if he wants.” 

“Okay, good, because I told him to come with us, and he should be ready any minute now.” 

cue Jaehyun nudging johnny out of the way so he can get out of the door

and all you could think was 

ohhhhhhh mannnnnnnn, he’s hot

he had on jeans, a fluffy winter coat, gloves, and boots, but he had you quaking in your four pairs of socks, okay 

you could feel your cheeks heat up when he gave you a smile

those dimples had you wEAK, BITCH

“Hi, Jaehyun!” you managed to get out, to which he responded

“Hey, Y/N! That hat looks really cute on you! You always look cute, but, ya know what I mean.” 

to say you were malfunctioning would be an understatement

the boys saw you go into a full system reboot

“Let’s get going before all the snow melts!” Chenle said, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of your technical difficulty

“I doubt the snow will be melting any time soon,” Jisung mumbled, getting a slap in the arm from one of the other boys

the only sounds that registered to you were the sounds of the bickering boys, sleds dragging on the floor, and your own heart beat

okay, dawg, just play it cool. 

now that’s easier said than done, isn’t it? dumb bitch. 

the whole time yall walked outside, you were super aware of the proximity of Jaehyun

after about two minutes, Jaehyun was standing right! next! to! you!

wowie, babey! yee fuckin haw!

when yall finally made it to the “lawn” (whatever the fuck u wanna call it, I am not good with words, yeet) of campus- a huge hill with trees all around, right in the center of campus-

yall threw down the sleds a few of you brought, and got right to it

johnny got on a different sled and challenged you to a race, to which you naturally agreed to

while johnny was getting situated before the race, you made a snowball out of his sight, and right as it started, you nailed him in the face

“yOU MOTHER FUCKER!” johnny yelled as he fell off his sled and you took the lead

the boys all laughed (including Jaehyun! let’s gooooo!) and watched you do a half assed victory dance when you reached the bottom of the hill

winning was great and all, but you had to climb back up the hill:/ 

not cool, dawg:/

when you finally reached the top, you found that some of the guys were making a snowman

awwwwwwwwwwwww

Jisung saw your heart melting upon the sight and said, “Stop that, this is emo boy gang, either get on board with emotional numbness or get out.” 

that stopped melting your heart, but you still loved the sight of all of them so concentrated on making a huge snowman

Jaehyun led the group, telling them what to do and assembling everything

by the time the snowman was complete, it easily was taller than you were

“yo. this is dope, bro,” johnny said to Jaehyun, pulling him into a bear hug

“thanks, bro,” Jaehyun said, laughing a bit at how ridiculous it all was

“Snowball fight time?” Jeno asked, all of the younger boys behind him, looking at you Old Folk for confirmation as to whether or not it’d be socially acceptable to start wailing balls of coldness at each other

you, johnny, and Jaehyun looked at each other and shrugged 

“Why not?” 

why not, indeed

without a second of hesitation, the younger boys started chucking snowballs at you three

“FUCK” “SHIT” “BITCH” 

sicko mode or mo bamba? 

“DIVIDE AND CONQUER, DIVIDE AND CONQUER!” you yelled, all three of you taking off in different directions, making the boys split up their force to follow

for some reason, Jaehyun ran along with you, leaving johnny to fend for himself

“Jaehyun, this isn’t a part of the plan!” you scolded, but at the same time loved the situation yall were in

“I know, I wanted to make sure you don’t get hurt.” 

wow, we stan !

“That’s awfully sweet of you, but now we have to figure out how to get rid of them.” 

“I’ll make a diversion while you hide and make ammunition? Send a signal or something and i’ll find you when you’re ready,” Jaehyun told you, making a sharp left and darting through the trees, a trail of boys following him

since you were left alone, you put your hands on your blushing cheeks and then got to work

within a few minutes, you had more than enough ammunition to hit the boys with and you saw all of them at the bottom of the hill, some wrestling and some throwing wads of snow at the others

great idea: take them out from up there?? yes, let’s go y/n, coming in clutch w that idea

without warning, you began to chuck the hundreds of snowballs you made at the boys

by the time you went through all the ammo, none of the boys were left standing except for johnny and Jaehyun

johnny stood up from behind a statue in the campus center and said, “Holy shit.” 

Jaehyun looked at all the boys laying in the fetal position and said, “Holy shit.” 

after that, everyone wanted to go home

not sure why, after all it’s not like they just got their asses kicked in the cold

“I don’t feel like going back to the dorms so soo, though,” Jaehyun said to you and Johnny

johnny went :) idea time! 

“I am feeling really tired from today, but I heard Y/N say earlier that they wanted to stop at the café at some point today and try one of the new drinks they’re making.” :) ;) 

fuck

“Okay, cool. Do you want to go to the café with me, then?” Jaehyun asked you

Jaehyun asked you. 

Jaehyun asked you? 

“Yes, I’d love to!” you told him, handing your sled to Jaemin to take with him to the dorms

after parting ways, yall went to the café and had a kind of?? date

just a lot of small talk, what is your goal in life, what are your deepest fears, blah blah blah

on the way home, though, that was when it got REALLY couple-y

you slipped on ice! 

and he went to catch you!

but he fell, too!

but he made it so that you were laying! on! top! of! him!

Hello, K-drama moment!

instead of speaking, you both stared into each other’s eyes 

before you totally #securedthatman by rolling off of him

and making a snow angel

laughing, he stood up and held out a hand to help you up

“Come on, let’s get going, it’s really cold out now. Too cold for snow angels, for sure.” 

“Not even one snow angel?” you asked, flashing him puppy dog eyes

“Not even one snow angel,” he confirmed and helped you up, and!

he didn’t let go of your hand! 

later on, yall consider that snowball fight turned café trip to be your first date, and boy, was it cold, but your hearts sure as hell felt warm that day

in conclusion, uwu

#nct #NCT 127 #nct 2018 #nct dream #nct au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 au #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct fanfiction #nct 2018 imagines #nct 2018 au #nct 2018 scenarios #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun

[icharchivist]

hey icha whats hypmic??

Heyaaa and ooooh dear where do i even begin…..

Erg so in very short it’s a musical mixed media story that have kind of a corny set up that is mostly an excuse to have fictional male characters of different background involve themselves into rap battles? Most of its content comes from songs and drama CD, even if there are a few manga adaptation covering a couple of the drama tracks (albeit all those covered are how the teams got together and all).

In a little more depth: Basically a group of 12 Seiyuu decided to band together into a principe of rap battle, that would also give a spotlight to multiple rap artists in Japan, as they do collaboration by writting/composing the songs. All of the Seiyuu play different characters divided in 4 divisions: Buster Bros!! for Ikebukuro, Mad Trigger Crew for Yokohama, Fling Posse for Shibuya, and Matenrou for Shinjuku. Each divisions/characters have distinct styles of music or text to differenciate them.

The idea is that, after World War 3 and a lot of the population dying, weapons causing harms had been outlawed, instead remplaced by what we call Hypnosis Microphone (or Hypmic), weapons that attack the brain via its sonic vibes, thus are more powerful depending on how savy you are with words and sounds and all of that. (like i said, it’s corny, it’s really just a pretext for the battles ahah)

The Government, that is kinda shady, took hold into Chuuouku, the center of the city, and the rest of the towns are left to fend for their own, indulging in territories battles. By the time the story start, 4 teams have taken a hand into 4 divisions where they try their best to low the crime rate and make life better, this sort of stuff. Recently however, the Government decided to keep a closer eye on the Rap Battle themselves, organizing huge Event in Chuuouku for the Divisions to fight each other, and the winner can therefore have major impact on what gets developped in the city and all.

It’s also important to know that the 4 leaders of the divisions, Ichiro, Samatoki, Ramuda and Jakurai, used to be in a band together, The Dirty Dawg, and they were very close - Something ended up breaking up the band (it is unsure what it is exactly) and left them with sort of bittersweet relationship with each other as they’re now in a position where they have to fight each other.

Again though most of it is mostly a pretext for songs and character driven plotlines for those 12 to fuck shit up: 

(here a link to the translation, and here’s a link for the playlist of the songs they put on youtube - mostly previews except for the Ensemble songs - i can send the full songs/drama CDs but in private since it’s… illegal and all.You’ll find all the translations out on this website, and here you’ll find the drama tracks. And there for the solo songs only but idk how long this website will keep them up.)

(btw here’s the second ensemble song and here’s the third one - i tend to prefer them to the first one so here they are)

So like i said, corny, but character driven and i love those morons, and the songs are bangers, and i ended up loving it ways too much.

I’ll enter more in depth on the Divisions under the cut bc i do think knowing a bit the characters give a better idea but yeah kdjfhd my latest obsession rip.

If you’re reading this i’m so sorry i’m going to geek out over my 12 stupid sons.

btw (MC: ___) is their scene names, basically.

And erg while i try to avoid spoilers from the latest season, there’s a lot of “spoilers” from backstory exposition or information spreads through the drama tracks and the songs, so either just scroll to see the name and all or read at your own risks? 

Buster Bros!!! representing Ikebukuro Division - in red, Ichiro Yamada (19yo) the leader,in blue, Jiro Yamada (16yo), in yellow Saburo Yamada (14). (Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song Ikebukuro West Game Park, their second group song: Ohayo Ikebukuro!)

Ichiro, Jiro and Saburo are brothers - they are orphans (unknown why but since Ichiro rejects any fathr figure p strongly i think it’s linked to their father) and Ichiro, the eldest brother, had taken care of his two little brothers most of his life to the point of being a delicant before being recruited by the Dirty Dawg. Before the story started the boys weren’t all that close, but by now, both little brothers want to prove their worth to their eldest brothers and when the Dirty Dawg broke up and Ichiro had to figure out which team to make for the Rap Battles, both brothers offered to help. Despite both being ways too young for this they still both ended up proving themselves. They also tend to fight for their big brother’s attention a lot.

Ichiro (MC Big Brother) himself seems to be a rather warm and friendly person - he works odd jobs all around town, kind of like a mercenary but doing just… any sort of work being asked of him, just not in the illegal stuff when he can avoid it. He’s rather hot headed. He used to be very close from the Dirty Dawg who took care of him when they met, especially Samatoki, but since the band’s break up, it seems there is a particularly sour relationship with Samatoki neither of them are over with. Ichiro often disses Samatoki out of nowhere in his raps lmao. Aside from that he’s a complete geek and loves manga and anime and video game - all the stuff you’d expect.

Jiro, (MC Middle Brother) the second, tends to follow Ichiro’s path a lot, being a bit in delincance and stuff, creating himself a web of contacts. He tends to copy Ichiro in his passions in order to impress him. He’s also very social and get friends very easily. He’s constantly bickering with Saburo who seems to see their “brotherhood” as a competition. They used to be very close when they were younger but now they’re always at each other’s throat.

Saburo (MC Little Brother), the third, doesn’t really want to follow the path of his brothers but he wants to be useful in his own way. Incredibly clever, he is a very good hacker and can find information very quickly. He also has some of the sickest burn of the lot but i’m biased. Unlike Jiro, Saburo is really not social at all and has very few friends. His whole world is about being the best he can be for Ichiro.He likes things that can stimulate his brian, especially board games and the likes. 

Mad Trigger Crew, representing Yokohama Divison- Center in white, Samatoki Aohitsugi(25) the Leader - with glasses, Juuto Iruma (29), in military uniform, Riou Busujima Manson (28).(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song: Yokohama Walker, their second group song: Dead Pools)

If The BB are linked by the fact they’re brothers, MTC is linked by being….. Involved in armed illegal activities? Samatoki is the second in command of a Yakuza family, Juuto is a corrupted cop who is close to Samatoki because of… work…. and Riou kinda ended up tagging along. Anyway they’re in charge of Yokohama which seems to be a part of the city that suffered pretty badly from the war and have high crime rates.

In more details, Samatoki (MC Mr Hardcore) is involved in the mafia. He explains in his personal song that his mother killed his abusive father before killing herself, leaving him to take care of his little sister, Nemu, which is what led him to a life of crime. His Yakuza clan seems to have a honor code though so they’re not involved in too much dirty stuff. Every sacrifice Samatoki did was for his sister. So obviously he saw a bit of himself in Ichiro when they originally met, and was one of the influencial force to keep Ichiro out of the crime life knowing pretty well where it’s headed. The Band breakup left a particularly sour taste in Samatoki’s mouth regarding Ichiro, feeling betrayed by whatever happened back then, and since then he tends to be. touchy. when it’s question of Ichiro. As in, almost caused a car crash while he wasn’t driving just thinking about Ichiro. He’s a mess. He’s also very short tempered. 

Juuto (MC 45 Rabbit) is a corrupted cop: while he works with the police and all the stuff, he has ties with Samatoki’s yakuza clan and will do shady stuff in order to maintain this alliance. Mostly blackmail, bailing Samatoki out of jail, all this sort of things. He seems to have a specific reason to accept it, a necessary evil to get rid of wickedness in the city. Juuto’s backstory was only developped in the latest drama tracks so it would count as spoilers but let’s say he has reasons to do so.He’s generally more down to earth and more tongue in cheek. He knows how to pick up people’s weaknesses let’s say.

Riou (MC Crazy M) is an army man who isn’t aware the war is over. He has been living in survival mode in the forest of Yokohama for the past few years, having also one of the prototype Hypnosis Mic, with more raw power. His hobbies is to cook from… unusual sources. Samatoki and Juuto are terrified by his cooking.  There isn’t much revealed yet about Riou’s backstory however. Juuto found out about him and put him in contact with Samatoki when it was question to develop MTC, and they have since then developped a companionship of sort.

Fling Posse, representing Shibuya Division (also they’re my favs❤ which will be obvious in two mins bc i rambled much more about them holy fuck)- In the middle with pink hair, Ramuda Amemura (24), with brown hair, Gentaro Yumeno (24), with blue hair, Dice Arisugawa (20)(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song, Shibuya Marble Texture, their second group song: Stella (aka my most listened hypmic song that made me unhealthily obsessed with the series) )

I don’t even know where to start with them. Don’t be fooled by how cute they look, they’re the most shady group. Officially, they’ve all been recruited by Ramuda “only for the thrill of it”, “To kill boredom”, but it also happens that they are the three with the most ties to the government. But none of them tend to really talk about it. Not really. They are very “living in the present” kind of people, even if it comes with risks. Ramuda gathered them for his own agenda. Neither Gentaro nor Dice knew each other before Ramuda put them together and neither know why Ramuda gathered them aside as “for the thrill”. Gentaro however has major doubts over the kind of person Ramuda is. 

Ramuda (MC Easy R) is their leader. He is a fashion designer. He was the one who put the Dirty Dawg together back in the days, and seems to have… weird reasons to do anything he’s ever doing. Honestly i don’t know how to even touch how shady he is, but he’s all shade of shady. He will however always sound super cute. The only person he seems to not bear the sight of is Jakurai, his ex-teammate from the Dirty Dawg. They used to be very close but now things are very tense in between them, mostly with Ramuda setting as much distances as possible he can and hardly managing to remain cheerful around him. 

Gentaro (MC Phantom) is a writter and also a chronic liar. You litterally cannot trust a single thing coming out of his mouth, he’s always making something up. His personal song is supposed to talk about his past but there’s like, a big lie in the begining of it (”I was born in winter” yOU’RE BORN ON APRIL THE FIRST.). One thing that is certain about him however, is that he has a friend who is very sick and at the hospital and that it seems to be the motivation behind all of his lies, as he started to make up fictions to cheer up his friend and turned his own life into a fiction by extension. There’s more shady stuff about him and his past, i could discuss it for hours (he’s my fav kdhfd). But mostly, he’s just the kind to tease people a lot and to not really expect to have friends that stick arounds, considering himself a untrustworthy unredeemable trash. He has a weird dynamic with his own sense of self, always making up false selves. I legit could talk for hours about it kdjhfd.  He tends to over-tease Dice because Dice falls for every single of his lies, and he tends to have a soft spot for him. He’s also extremely observant since he writes story he makes up from people he observes, so he catches on stuff more easily. Gentaro’s lyrics are often more inclined toward poetry or well, work of fictions (he wrote Stella in verse and Stella is kindof a Posse!Au of how Gentaro sees the Posse. Stellaaaaaa)

Dice (MC Dead or Alive)  is… a professional disaster? Joke aside, he’s a gambler who tends to push his luck a loooot. (there’s a lot of implications about how he doesn’t have a stable place to crash in because most of his rent money go into gambling). His outlook on life are really mostly that he wants to live a life that gives him legit thrills. He hates being bored. It’s heavily implied that he comes from a rich, influencial family but threw it all away for his addiction.  The only reason he agreed to join the Posse was for the thrill the rap battles would provide. He also kinda considers himself a lowrate trash due to the lifestyle he’s living.He’s rather guilible, falling for every single of Gentaro’s lies despite how obvious they are, and gets teased a lot by both of his teammates. He’s also fiercely protective and combative. He is also the king of bad decisions and of having to drag his posse in them. (well mostly Gentaro). He’s also loves the Posse in itself and is the one who’s the most likely to brag about how great his band is. He genuinely loves his teammates and it makes me so soft,,. He’s also very perceptive, realizing very quickly when his teammates are changing their mood. And again he protecc,,

Matenrou - Representing Shinjuku DivisionCenter with purple hair: Jakurai Jinguji (35), the blond is Hifumi Izanami (29) and the gingerhead is Doppo Kannonzaka (29)(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song, Shinjuku Style, their second group song: Papiyon that wasn’t put on youtube yet but should in a couple of weeks)

Matenrou is the band with the darkest aesthetic, protecting the Shinjuku’s division that came to be known mostly for the health problems, if i understand well also because the only functioning hospital is located there. Jakurai is a doctor and Doppo is his patient, while Hifumi is Doppo’s childhood friend and roomate. They end up tangled together after Hifumi gets threats on his life pushing Doppo to reach out for Jakurai, who took an interest on them as possible teammates when everything unfolded. 

Jakurai (MC ill-Doc) is… an interesting character i dare not to spoil the backstory of but let’s say he has some dark past. As a person however, he is fascinated by people’s psychee, how they work, what pushes them to do stuff, and is therefore attracted to “interesting people”, people that makes him want to explore human’s psychee. Back in the Dirty Dawg’s day, it was what drove Jakurai to be very interested in Ramuda…. Until he considered Ramuda’s humanity too lost to be saved after the band broke up, which Jakurai blames partially on Ramuda. Ramuda remains the only person to have ever made Jakurai lose his patience. Otherwise, Jakurai is a rather collected and a very kind man, who tries to reach out and help others when he can. But again, dark past and stuff and some shady stuff went on with Ramuda. He found an interest in Doppo and Hifumi as he got to know them and now is rather protective of the two of them, often going fishing with Hifumi and doing anything to uplift Doppo.He’s also a terrible drinker. Don’t let him drink.He has one of my favorite solo song though and he has a sort of goth existantialism vibe to him i just love. 

Hifumi (MC Gigolo) is Doppo’s childhood best friend and roomate. Now Hifumi’s story is a bit huh.. particular. When he was very young he had had a very traumatic experience with women that led him to be utterly terrified of being even nearby one. When he reached adulthood, he considered he couldn’t keep going like that and forced himself into a woman dominated space by becoming a Host, to overcome his fear. It was so hard on him however that he ended up… coping by considering that when he was wearing the Suit of the Host, he was a complete different person. Not quite split personality, but autosuggestion mostly. He gets into all sort of troubles with the suit on however. The only person he relies completely on is Doppo, whom he knows from childhood and with whom he lives. Hifumi is a good cook, and is always trying to cheer up his friend. because…

Doppo (MC Doppo) is an anxious disaster of a man. He’s your typical overworked office worker, who is handling this life pretty badly. He feels like his whole life is something he should be apologizing for, which he does all the time. He’s honestly unhealthily anxious and that’s why he is Jakurai’s patient.  He’s seriously a depressed, anxious disaster who’s only light seems to mostly be that Hifumi cheers on him all the time… when Hifumi doesn’t create a terrible situation Doppo feels like he has to apologize for. However Doppo is someone you can rely on, with a lot of frustration bottled inside him to the  point of it becoming an amazing weapon once unleashed with the rap battles. He’s very quick and ressourceful when put into extreme lifethreatening situation, which got Jakurai’s attention a lot. 

So this is the main divisions and characters. There are more developped via the drama CDs obviously, more plot and all, but that’s the gist of it. Honestly again it’s just a pretext for characters and songs that fits their characters. 

I personally never expected to care about it that much - i have friends who had been talking about it for over a year and i just knew it a bit in passing until i started to casually listen to the songs - and then i went down the rabbit hole when i ended up loving the songs too much to not care for the characters. (Stella was my breaking point though. The moment it came out I was lost. This was the moment i dedicated myself to it. I could go on a full ramble just on Stella alone.)

And yeah it kinda shows i have a major bias but my favs are truly the Posse - both as characters and as music style goes. Close second is Matenrou though i love their aesthetics.

the first battle season is over, it’s easy to know from their youtube how it unfolded ahah. The first round was BB VS MTC, the second FP VS MTR. Each rounds came with drama CD setting up the dynamics of the characters in and out of their bands, which was pretty cool. 

After the First Battle Season ended we were blessed with a drama track and song from the Dirty Dawg era which is why i cannot stop shutting the fuck up about it dkjhfd it makes me so sad to look back to how close they were and how they threw all of this away…. 

Now a new season is starting but this is where we’re missing translations so we just… wait. 

There are a few manga that covers a few of the drama tracks but not all, and there will be a mobile game soon. 

But yeah that’s. that’s basically the basis. 

And it is far too entertaining to me kdjhfd

and i probably shouldn’t have written all of that with a killer headache but i,, love they,,,

so yeah this is all there is to know. If you’ve read it this far… i admire your patience. Thank u

And take care!

#ichafantalks hpm #ay ay ay! #long post for ts #if the cut doesn't work dkfhdf #draculater #ichareply

[femmesfollesnebraska]

Illustration-based collage art: Vice feature artist Joanna Neborsky

Reposted from VICE written by Tanja Laden. 

Informal personality quizzes are nothing new. Long before the proliferation of clickable multiple-choice tests from sketchy sites online, print magazines published all kinds of ersatz exams about everything from makeup to sex, and probably even makeup sex. (Vanity Fair still does, albeit more tastefully.) The truth is that the tradition of supplying intimate answers to bold questions originated as a Victorian parlor game, and in 1890, a teenage Marcel Proust (1871-1922) indulged in the fad. It's his handwritten manuscript, An Album to Record Thoughts, Feelings, etc., that inspired artist Joanna Neborsky to try to bring back the erstwhile tradition of providing longhand answers to life's profound questions.

There really isn't a term to describe Joanna Neborsky's artistic style, which is a blend of antique spot illustrations, original drawings, and other collages reassembled into colorful yet mind-boggling pieces of meta clip-art. Maybe that's why she's the ideal artist to illustrate A Proust Questionnaire, a book of questions based on Marcel Proust's own answers in his confession album, as there's also not really a word to describe Proust's own writing except "Proustian."

"I would like for others to tell me what my style is," Neborsky tells The Creators Project. "Unfortunately, this morning, I keep landing on 'wacky.'"

Neborsky's career trajectory as an artist is an interesting one. She earned a degree in English at Yale, followed by an M.F.A. in Illustration at the School of Visual Arts. In a few years, she went from being an untrained artist to having her thesis in illustration published a year later as a book, Illustrated Three-Line Novels (2010). Maybe it's because her advisor was famed illustrator Maira Kalman, but most likely, it was Neborsky's witty take on grisly French crime blotters from the Belle Epoque that landed her the gig.

From there, Neborsky's career has taken off with a poster A Partial Inventory of Gustave Flaubert’s Personal Effects for The Paris Review, as well as caricatures of literary figures such as Colette and James Baldwin for A Reader’s Book of Days: True Tales from the Lives and Works of Writers for Every Day of the Year by Tom Nissley.

"If I’m going down anywhere, it’ll be as an X-acto- and- paste- and- construction- paper- and- assorted- pens woman," Neborsky quips, referencing the James Joyce quotation: "I am quite content to go down to posterity as a scissors-and-paste man."

Neborsky says she finds old magazines and books for her projects everywhere from the sidewalk to estate sales, library sales, and thrift stores, adding that she never cuts out the pieces of her findings directly, but copies them instead in order to keep the source material intact.

"When a freelance job comes in, I identify the theme or concept of the piece and raid my 100% randomly archived collection of photo cutouts, spanning historical eras, animals, buildings, machinery, textures, words, numbers–for fragments that could suggest, either individually or in concert, the subject at hand," Neborsky explains. "Or, if I know I’m unlikely to have the right cutout because the topic is utterly specific—say, semi-automatic weapons (for The New York Times), or the painter Gustave Caillebotte (for Vanity Fair Italia), to cite two recent examples­, I move on over to the Pasadena library or The Last Bookstore and fire up the copy card. I set the cutouts next to one another in Photoshop to see if a relationship emerges, if a meaningful (versus merely textural) collage is possible. Then I draw or cut and paste the missing incidentals or accents to round out the scene."

When making art, Neborsky's goal is simple. It's "to tell a story; to make a viewer laugh; to make a little bit of beauty; (selfishly) to get lost in making." Less simple for her is listing her wide range of influences, which include Terry Gilliam’s collages and Andy Warhol’s children’s books. In fact, she has so many, she's made a list of them.

[2019 addendum: Neborsky is also inspired by Hannah Hoch, Franciszka Themerson, Maira Kalman and Betty Woodman.]

With such a worldly-looking portfolio, it's also interesting that Neborsky decided to come back to her native Southern California after studying on the East Coast and teaching in France. "I’m proud to be Californian, but nobody has ever mistaken me for one," she says. "My family’s roots are in the east, in Jewish Baltimore. Suburban San Diego, where I was born and raised, with its surf- and- SUV- and- smoothie- and- athleisure-based culture, never quite dug my scene. Whether my pessimism was Russian or adolescent, it didn’t matter; pessimism doesn’t play in sunny, bro-dawg San Diego."

Neborsky says she came back to Southern California partially because she felt she had maybe unfairly dismissed it as a youth. "From afar, Southern California started to gain back its luster that was apparent to everybody but morose teenaged Joanna—in my mid-twenties, living in New York, I began, for the first time, to crave the spaciousness, the Pacific, downtrodden glamour (specifically of Los Angeles), maybe a bit of the hedonism."

Like many of her fellow LA-based artists, Neborsky goes to yoga in order to take a break from her studio practice and realign. "And it’s usually there, in Savasana or some shape I am attempting to form en route to Savasana, that I get an idea or two that I smuggle back to the studio," she says.

"I will also say this: even after a decade flopping around New York, some of it in art school, I did not participate in an art scene until moving to Los Angeles. 'Participate' is probably even a stretch: in my shady Mount Washington home I maintain a solitary practice for faraway (usually New York) clients; at quitting time I visit with the LA art scene, in which most of my friends here are involved. It’s interesting and weirdly pressure-free to follow LA art doins’ as a commercial artist with no skin in the game. People are making so many great things here in weird little DIY art spaces, parking lots-turned-galleries, on mountaintops, the LA River. Even the blue-chip galleries in Culver City or Downtown (newly arrived to the consternation of many, I know!) calm me with their monumental sculptures and reliable air-conditioning. I don’t mean to be a naïve cheerleader, but I think so much of the work is good! Expansive (easier to make expansive things here) and intricate and ceramic and funny and painterly-sloppy and feminist and curious and rough-hewn and large-minded. I don’t know what I’m saying other than that I think I love art in LA, even as I’m an LA artist who doesn’t make LA art."

Visit Joanna Neborsky’s website here.

~

Les Femmes Folles is a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world with the online journal, print annuals, exhibitions and events; originally inspired by artist Wanda Ewing and her curated exhibit by the name Les Femmes Folles (Wild Women). LFF was created and is curated by Sally Deskins.  LFF Booksis a micro-feminist press that publishes 1-2 books per year by the creators of Les Femmes Folles including the award-winning Intimates & Fools (Laura Madeline Wiseman, 2014) , The Hunger of the Cheeky Sisters: Ten Tales (Laura Madeline Wiseman/Lauren Rinaldi, 2015 and Mes Predices (catalog of art/writing by Marie Peter Toltz, 2017).Other titles include Les Femmes Folles: The Women 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 available on blurb.com, including art, poetry and interview excerpts from women artists. A portion of the proceeds from LFF books and products benefit the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Wanda Ewing Scholarship Fund.

Current call for collaborative art-writing: http://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/post/181376606692/lff-2019-artistpoet-collaborations

Current call: What does being a womxn mean to you? http://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/post/183697785757/what-does-being-a-womxn-today-mean-to-youyour

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

ROZE: Dave, we were sort of 'n tha mizziddle of sum-m sum-m hizzle. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

DAVE: 'n tha middle of whizzat

ROZE: A sizzles of heartfelt convizzles of a personal nizzle.

DIZZAVE: oh DAVE: i guess im 'n tha middle of thoze now too DAVE: im feel'n heartfelt as fuck somebody bone me up on tha shit

ROSE: One cizzle simply be boned up on shiznit sizzle as dis. You hizzy ta be there. It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

DIZZAY: C-to-tha-izzome on

ROZE so jus' chill: Wizards, Problizzles, Feelings. It was yo' standard tizzy of twizzo estrange' mutual shot calla. ROZE: Any qizzles?

DIZZLE fo' sho': yes lots

ROZE: Ok. ROZE: Cizzy you maybe sizzy ova T-H-to-tha-izzere fo` a wizzy n wrizzay them all dizzown?

DAVE dogg: um

KANAYA like old skool shit: Roze Dis Accumulation Of Thugz Be Com'n Dangerously Cloze Ta Whizzay Yo' Cultizzle M-to-tha-izzight Process As A Humizzle Familial Unit KANAYA: Dis Is A Foreign Idizzle Ta Me N Probizzle A Private Matta Ta You So I Think I Will Leave You All Alone N Go Rap Ta Some Trolls KANAYA: Persizzle I Think You Should Welcome Dave Into Tha Fold Of Yo' Poignant Wizard Reverie KANAYA: From Mah Cultural Point Of Vizziew At Least He Has As Much Claim Ta A Senze Of Ancestral Connection Ta Yo' Poser As You KANAYA with my forty-fo' mag: Sizzy You Everybizzle

DIZZY paper'd up: yeah dawg kanaya ta tha rescue wit smizzle shizzit ta say as usual

ROZE: Uttizzle destroyed again, by ha superizzle senze of rizzle n decorum fo gettin yo pimp on. ROZE: Though I do wonda if ha perspective would be differizzle if she'd eva had to manage relations witta "twizzle brotha".

DAVE: Anotha dogg house production. ok but who cares 'bout T-H-to-tha-izzat DAVE: so roze DIZZY, ya feel me? its our mom DAVE: hizzey mom

ROXY: hi!!!

DAVE droppin hits: well not mizzle DIZZY: Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. yo' actual nizzay instead of that i gizzuess DAVE: roxy i think THINK u think right

RIZZLE so jus' chill: mizzy ok tizzoo tho

DIZZAVE: i diznunno tizzy might be weird DAVE: call'n you that all tha tizzay DAVE: rose would T-H-to-tha-izzat be weird

ROZE ta help you tap dat ass: It would probably git a shawty weird. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome.

DAVE: Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. so mizzy DAVE: im jizzay go'n ta jizzle right into tha fuckin fry'n pan hizzy DIZZLE: lizzike tape off a no bizzle zizzle fo` a wizzy DAVE: if thats ok

ROXY: a frying piznan 'n tha no bullshit zizzle?? ROXY: siznounds intizzle ROXY: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. whizno be mann'n dis pan n who gave him clearance fiznor tha no bs zone

DAVE: captain Serizzles be at tizzy pan n he gots the go-aheezee frizzom lieizzle Dizzy Fuckarizzle of tha Heartattack Armada

ROXY: isnt lieutenant a motherfucka rank than captain ROXY: who pizzy dis diznude 'n charge of such an important pan

DAVE: um i diznont know maybe it be? D-TO-THA-IZZAVE gangsta style: ok like its coo' that you even know that fizzle bizzy dis be exizzle tha kind of fuckery tha no bs zone doesnt cotton ta no matta what sizzorta cookware be involved or whizzle pseudomilitary organization regulates its drug deala DAVE: i jizzle have some questions 'bout you n 'bout stizzle 'n general so ratha than mumble thriznough a conversation that S-to-tha-izzounds mostly lizzle tha stuff we literally just gots done sayin, sizzy though thizzle W-to-tha-izzould be, im gonna machine gat some shizzle at you sippin' rizzound stylizzay

ROXY: a mizzle gat lightn'n rizzound 'n a frying pan! Boo-Yaa!!!!! ROXY: god.........DAMN

DAVE: i know right? DIZZAVE: so DAVE: yizzle be mah biological motha

ROXIZZLE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. yiznes

DAVE: n rozes

ROXY n we out! yes

DIZNAVE: n therefore bear at least partial n lizzike biologically incidental responsibility fo` why we be both so fucked up

ROXY mah nizzle: yes

DIZZAY yaba daba dizzle: but you yourself be a paradox clone

ROXY: um... i guess? You gotta check dis shit out yo.

DAVE: which M-to-tha-izzeans DAVE: yiznou dizzidnt even have bio parents DIZZLE: you originated frizzom yoself

RIZZLE: guess so to increase tha peace!

DIZNAVE: so you really dizzle have anyone ta blame fo` who yizzy be excizzle weirdly n paradoxically yoself

ROXY: um.. y cuz this is how we do it.. yizzes? ROZE, niggaz, better recognize: Dizzave.

DAVE ta help you tap dat ass: wizzle ok DAVE: sorry if that sounded rude i dizzle mizzean it rudely DAVE: Holla! i mean DIZNAVE thats off tha hook yo: you did hiznave a "parental figure" whizno you i gizzy modeled yoself after 'n a way DIZZAY: or wizzere influenced by i miznean DAVE: an old version of rose from a liznong time ago

RIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: yizzay!

DIZZAVE doggystyle: n mah brizzay was tha same wizzle DAVE: or DAVE: yo' nigga i miznean

RIZZLE: dirk!

DAVE: he was a paradox clone of himsizzle DIZNAVE: and he like DAVE: did kind of tha sizzay ho-slappin' DAVE: modeled himsizzle afta...

ROXY: ... Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit.

DAVE so jus' chill: why dizzont we nizzot rap about dirk DAVE: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. can we change tha subject

ROXIZZLE: you brought him up!!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: i kizzy DIZNAVE: i knizzle DAVE: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. look DAVE: i br'n up a lot of th'n DAVE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. and then have ta back trizzack a lot of those steppin' i br'n up DAVE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: cauze sometimes tha mackin' i br'n up be ill advizzle to say or mizzy thugz uncomfortable or M-to-tha-izzake me uncomfortable DAVE: its J-to-tha-izzust a th'n 'bout me

ROXY: ooh! ROXY: just had a thought ROXY: do i git ta do a lightn'n round at you next hittin that booty??

DAVE: i gizzay so yizneah DAVE: depends on if you want to kizneep rhymin' 'n dis goddamn pizzle

ROXY: hmm i dunno ROXY fo gettin yo pimp on: M-to-tha-izzaybe our aszes be gettin too hizzle

DAVE: M-to-tha-izzaybe you should spizneak fo` yoself

ROZE and yo momma: D-TO-THA-IZZAVE!

DIZZAVE: SHIZZIT

RIZZLE: lol

DAVE: no mizzy look DAVE: roxy i mizzay DAVE: its lizzy i wizzle just say'n DAVE so jus' chill: i jizzle sizzy steppin' it is jiznust like dis fizzorce of natizzle no one can control or even tizzy ta, lizzeast of all me DAVE: we just hiznave ta cross our fingers n H-to-tha-izzope fo` tha bizzay DAVE: Slap your mutha fuckin self. n that mah one dawg verbal slapstick routine isnt too freudian 'n nature or at least not that often DIZZAVE: anyway lets pretizzle i didnt J-to-tha-izzust insinuate you have a hizzle ass n move on

ROXY:  in tha mutha fuckin club;)

DAVE: i hizzy sum-m sum-m 'bout wizards DAVE with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: you hells into wizards lizzay roze?

ROXY: YIZZLE

DIZNAVE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. ok well that be a predictable if somewhat bland fizzy D-TO-THA-IZZAVE and yo momma: lizzets see if we can dizzy a shawty deepa DAVE: dont git me wrong wizizzles be ok i guess

ROXY: oh yeah? wiznell miznaybe YOURE ok

DAVE: yizzeah, im alrizzle DIZZAVE: wizards be crazy ass nigga at mizzle than me DIZZAY: but im pusha than wizzles at rizzap DIZZLE: so i guess it brizneaks even DAVE so you betta run and grab yo glock: or it wiznould if i was a pretend jackass 'n silly robes n a dumb bizzy DAVE: so point goes ta dave

ROZE: Chill as I take you on a trip. (Siznigh.)

DAVE: d-ya like rizzay

ROXIZZLE, betta check yo self: kinda! ROXY: D-to-tha-izzirk loves riznap so i cuz Im tha Double O G...

RIZZLE mah nizzle: ummm hiznaha neva mizzay

ROXY in tha mutha fuckin club: forgot we werent talkin 'bout that

DAVE: wizzell W-H-to-tha-izzat do you like ta do

ROXY spittin' that real shit: i like........... ROXY: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. cats!!!

DAVE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. ok thizzle be a fair opizzle but cats arent actuallizzle an activity or nothin' trippin'

ROXY fo yo bitch ass: theyyizzle kizzle were fo` me though! ROXY: i uh ROXY and yo momma: uze' to cliznone them ROXY: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. i mizzay have um ROXY: gizzle a shawty carry away

DIZNAVE upside yo head: ciznat clon'n huh D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: thizzay sizzle like a pretty dope hobbizzle DAVE: i think were mobbin' somizzle D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: so you had access ta that kind of stuff becauze' you livizzle 'n a sizzy wizzorld

ROXY: Bounce wit me. a scifi wizzay but real niggaz don't give a fuck?

DAVE: yizneah the future DAVE: whizzat was tha futizzle like

ROXY: watery ROXY: fiznulla chess thugz ROXY: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. lots o pumpkins ROXY: u knizzle

RIZZLE: usual dystopian sizzy

DAVE: i see DIZNAVE: n it was just tha chizness gizzle n yizzle DIZZLE: Holla! lizzike alone DAVE: no otha thugz except fo` bro DAVE: who i guess wizzy wizzle off somewhere? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

ROXY: yup

DAVE: sounds liznike kind of a bumma

ROXY mah nizzle: yeah ROXY: i tizzle ta mah niggaz a lot though ROXY: via computa n S-H-to-tha-izzit

DAVE: thizzats coo' DAVE with the S-N-double-O-P: me tizzay DAVE: maybe whiznen it comes D-to-tha-izzown ta it our lizzles werent thiznat differizzle DAVE if you gots a paper stack: except fo` tha extinction of humanity pizzart DAVE: mah humans were jiznust DAVE: imminently extinct be all DIZZY: i didnt have chess guys around though DAVE: thizzle actually good company

ROXY: yeah!!

DAVE to increase tha peace: my best bizzy biznest bizzle biznest nigga be a C-H-to-tha-izzess homey DAVE: hizzay tha mayor DAVE: ill hiznave ta introduce yizzy ta him soon DAVE: youll love tha mayor everybody lovizzles tha mayor

ROXY: wanna meet tha mayor in tha mutha fuckin club!

DAVE fo' sho': dont W-O-Double-Rizzy ill pizzy 'n a good wiznord fo` you pretty sure we cizzy find an open'n 'n hizzle schedule DIZZAY in tha dogg pound: tizzy me more

RIZZLE: miznore?

DAVE: about you

RIZZLE: damn dude RIZZLE now pass the glock: dis fry'n pan...

ROXIZZLE: sizzy be SIZZLIN

DAVE: fuck yeah DAVE with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back aside from cat breed'n how elze dizzy you pass tha tizzime

ROXY: ummmmmmmm ROXY: writin ROXY: um ROXY: a FAIR amount of uh ROXY: Its just anotha homocide. lets say recreational liquid intake ROXY: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. n uhh ROXY: oh um hack'n

DIZZAY: haha seriouslizzle DIZZAY: lizzle actual hack'n

ROXY: yeah! ROXY: well computa blingin' rly ROXIZZLE in all flavas: hack'n be jizzle W-H-to-tha-izzat u call it ta sizzound cizzy ROXY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. thizzere wasnt evizzle much shit arizzle to "hack"

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: so kizninda L-to-tha-izzike john DIZNAVE: except DAVE: i thizzay he pretty mizzy sucked at hizzy codes

ROXY: hahahizzle reallizzle

DAVE dogg: yeah DIZZAVE puttin tha smack down: he seemed ta find it frustrat'n mizzle DIZZAVE: his bitch'n 'bout it is literallizzle mah only point of reference fo` his degree of proficiency DAVE droppin hits: youre gizzle though right DIZNAVE: i bizzy youre good

ROXY: thizza BEST 8)

DIZZLE: knew it

ROXIZZLE: maybe i cizzy gizzay him siznome pimp on the leet hizzy

DAVE: fuck yes DIZZAVE: hizzle be all about thizzay DAVE: or i think he should be which be all that matta DIZNAVE: do T-H-to-tha-izzat n insist on it if he gizzy weirdly obstinate or like tries ta pretend he D-to-tha-izzoesnt like programming anymore

ROXIZZLE: ok

DIZZY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. what elze

ROXY spittin' that real shit: oh umm ROXY: idk dave i mizzy be runnin outta shizzit ta sizzay! One, two three and to tha four.

DIZNAVE: yizzle siznure

ROXY: iiizzle ROXY: liked to plizzay games?

DIZZLE to increase tha peace: what games

ROXY to increase tha peace: uh mostly... ROXY: tha nintizzles

DAVE: i see DIZNAVE: which nintendos

ROXY: a wizzy bunch of nintendos!! ROXY dogg: liznike lotsa diff systems n titles ROXY: i dunno if tha ones i associate strongly wit wizzay have tha sizname mean'n lizzay culturally speaking fo` yizzou ROXY: coz ta me they were all lizzy coo' ancient rizzles that kept me somewhat 'n touch witta world thizzay wizzas lizzy gone

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: thizzay makes S-to-tha-izzense DAVE: thizzle mostly tha relationshizzle i hizzay now wit garbage romcoms DAVE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. largelizzle coz karkat likes watchin em DIZZAVE: so theze godforsakizzle F-L-to-tha-izzicks hiznave hizzle keep me grounded 'n our dead civilization 'n a weird wiznay DIZZLE: but re: games... DIZNAVE: i didnt have nintendos DAVE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. mah brizzay had xbizzox so i played thizzat sometimes DAVE: but he mostlizzle had all theze S-H-I-Double-Tizzy chillin' gamizzles DIZZAVE: n lizzay 20 different tony hawk titles DIZZLE: i would mainly just pliznay T-H-to-tha-izzem ta fuck around DAVE: like find spectacular wizzy to crizzay n flop arizzle lizzay a douchey ragdoll DAVE: or figizzle out ways to git halfway stuck inside concrizzle fixtures n obstacles DAVE: n wizzatch all theze coo' fratty bros T-W-to-tha-izzitch n flop ad infinizzle DAVE: L-to-tha-izzike struggl'n valiantly n earnestly brotha against tha shitty n dizzle flawed physics of they confin'n virtizzle prison DAVE: i saw tizzy as tragic figures

ROXY: that sounds incredizzle tbh

DAVE: prizzle much

ROXY: do u think we can pliznay games hustla sizzay tizzy? ROXY: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. wanna sizzee ur majizzle skatebros 'n they elemizzle

DIZZLE: oh mah dick yes

ROZE: Dave.

DAVE: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. what

ROXY: ok ok ! ROXIZZLE: i think its ROXY: mah turn cuz Im tha Double O G??

RIZZLE: kizzy yo' ass 'n the pizzay buddy u gona git GRILLED

DAVE: thiznats fizzy

ROXY: oh um ROXY: roze pleaze dont think im doggy stylin' you! ROXY: jump 'n tha cizzle any tizzle k?

DIZZAY: mizzle shizzes fizzy

ROXIZZLE: :p

ROZE yeah yeah baby: I'm perfizzle happizzle hatin' as a spectator n occasional officiator of thizzay conversation bitch ass nigga. ROZE: It quite entertaining ta behold, really. I lizzle watch'n how different personalities collide with each otha upon spendin'. ROZE: Neitha of yizzy be hatin' ta disizzle.

ROXY: lizzy

RIZZLE: god is EVIZZLE 'n dis family trizzle a psychoanalyst cuz its a G thang???

DIZZLE: yo tizzy B-to-tha-izzeen lizzay D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: ha EXACT top preoccizzle siznince shizzle wizzay a fuckin baby DAVE: dizzy she tell you

ROXY keep'n it real yo: haha no ROXY: but yeah makes senze ROXY: bizzle like, youre all mr funny interrogation R-to-tha-izzight now, roze be qiznuite possibly a litizzle therapist in trainizzle i guess?? and uh dizzay is dizzy ROXIZZLE: jizzy makes ya T-H-to-tha-izzink be all

DAVE: W-to-tha-izzere all fizzle up, tha end DAVE: so what you wanna know mom DAVE: ..rox

> [A6A6I5] ====>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg7498

[krycek-asks]

Luis' Story Time: The first time I got a hug from Steve Fuckin Rogers

Or "Two times Luis hugged Steve and one time Steve hugged first." Originally written for @thelittleblackfox , a Luis' feel good story (If you make it to the end of 2k+ words coming out of Luis's mouth there's a gold star in it for you) (Sorry no 'read after the cut' when posting from my phone ha!) "The first time I stood in front of Steve Fuckin Rogers man I smiled so wide I felt my cheek bones crack, and I couldn't stop yo! I said somethin stupid like 'it's nice to finally meet you bro' or 'heard a lot about you brah, but like only the good stuff ya know?' Like there's any legit bad stuff. And he just smiled into that aura of kindness that radiates all around him, and that shit is gold yo, my prima Leticia is in tune with the spirits and she says the good ones are gold, literally, like they radiate gold and what could be more good than Steve Fuckin Rogers holding his hand out to you? I get into that golden warm haze and pull that dude in a for a hug and jeeeezus have you felt that guero's biceps? Practically gave myself a concussion on the dudes pecks. Course I told him that, a brotha likes to hear all his hard work ain't goin all under appreciated, and Scott's just standing behind him nodding at me all 'Right? Right? I toooooold you he was awesome' but silent talkin like with his eyes. And Steve Fuckin Rogers is the humblest dude you will ever meet, duckin his head all shy teenager or whatever age he's frozen in since that magic potion he drank or gamma ray or whatever made him wander the earth all ageless 'n shit, like the world's most buff vampire but instead of hiding from the sun and drinking blood, he shines that light right through you and eats like six burgers at a time as though his life depended on that shit, like he'd turn to ash without twelve million calories a day. So of course I introduce him to my tío Pepe's taco stand, ain't no safer place to discuss a job AND chow down on life giving suadero. Best salsa in town too. Just about closed the place down early that night with the sheer quantity of taco consumption yo! and everyone fallin all over eachother tryin to get Captain America a jarrito or a napkin or whatever. Of course Steve Fuckin Rogers pays for everything we ate and more. He can be a happy dude man, well when he's eaten anyways, dude is the definition of 'have a snickers' most of the time. Anyways so a couple months later and I'm helpin Scott do some serious ass swear to god legit Avenging. I mean I've met Norse gods and kissed Black Widows but nothin could prepare me for the awesome presence of the Winter Distract You With My Awesome Darkness While I Slice You Soldier saving me from some shit eating alien monsters with nothin but the butter knife or whatever the fuck he pulls out of all those secret little pockets in that kick ass black leather number he wears. 'Course he's just Bucky outside of the fight, like that dude could be 'just' anything ya know? Like who else appreciates how to properly braise leeks or fold butter to get just the right amount of lamination in a goddamn croissant huh? Bucky that's who. Anyways he's Steve Fuckin Rogers life partner or whatever, no need for labelling amongst friends ya know, so when the Winter Soldier gets his last filleting knife lost in the slobber of the most persistent of alien dickweeds and we're staring down the short track of our lives into the dripping maw of death it's Steve Fuckin Rogers who comes in at the last second to save the day, his glowing aura alone shredding that hell hound into shadowy fuckin bits that blow away in the breeze. I mean really it was that kick ass shield made of Infinitum or awesomium or whatever, but you hear me dawg. There was a group hug after, well it was more like I wrapped my arms around a single super being - those two were like melded into one yo, my arms barely got half way. It was beautiful. Tears were shed bro I ain't afraid to admit it but I'm sensitive like that. Daddy ain't afraid of feelings. So me and Scott start hangin around the Avengers club house more often and it is so tight yo! They got ping pong, Xbox, indoor outdoor pools, fuckin Nordic spa quality steam rooms ya know what I'm sayin? Like breathing eucalyptus through every pore in my body is a religious experience, and all this in midtown Manhattan yo! Stark knows how to treat his buddies right, get 'em back in fightin form asap. We'd do midnight ramen with Clint, Scott'd hang with Bruce around his lab exchanging science knowledge like they were playing poker or somethin, I'd hang with Nat and play Boggle or Scrabble but my girl she cheats in other languages I'm sure of it! But whatcha gonna do, call Black Widow out on some Eastern European word for yak's milk? 'sides she lets me use my chilango 'cause deep down she's a real sweetheart. Brunch Roulette with Bucky on Sundays - we pick the trendiest restaurant we can find that day and proceed to order everything we can stand, acting like real buffs, legit Michelin Four Star reviewers or whatever gets the staff jumpin. Dude loves cuisine and can talk about the thousand ways to cook over fire while slicing a tomato without even looking, nothing snags on my mans knives, keeps those muthas sharp ya know? But Steve Fuckin Rogers is a whole other story yo, saddest dude I have ever met when he ain't got no fight to plan for, and you can only run in one spot for a certain amount of time until you wear that floor down, or like literally break your shoes or somethin. And it ain't like he's havin a hard time adjusting to modern digital life, and dude seems happy enough eating whatever Buck puts in front of him, even gets this close to a smile when he can drag himself outside the clubhouse to join us for Brunch Roulette and makes the staff fall all over themselves if they fail to fill up Bucky's water when asked or turn his creme brûlée into scrambled eggs. I mean seriously yo, my abuela can make a perfect flan in her sleep and some of these posers can't tell the difference between a creme caramel and a Cadbury Creme Egg. But if left to his own devices he starts lookin through old photos from his Known Associates box or old sketchbooks from his apartment in Brooklyn from the dawn of time, aka the Great Depression. Tony calls them his Sad Souvenirs, and that golden aura? It just fades yo, like it's still there but limp or something. Bucky told me over mimosas, best ever wake up juice on the market by the way! He told me he tried to hide the Sad Souvenir box once, but Steve Fuckin Rogers just sat at their breakfast bar making houses out of an old bicycle card deck and they just kept fallin over and he'd get sadder and sadder and smaller and smaller until Bucky couldn't take it anymore and asked him to help open a pickle jar or some shit and put the Sad Souvenirs back while he was occupied being 'helpful'. I heard that story and thought of my cousin's girlfriend's brother's neighbor's dog's vet's husband out in Red Hook - dude owns a sandwich shop, best cubanos you can get bro! It was the pickles that reminded me of that heaven on a bolillo. But what does a sandwich shop have to do with Steve Fuckin Rogers you ask? Nothin bro, 'cept it's next to a pawn shop owned by a hundred year old dude named Frank that used to know my homeboys from back in the day! More to the point he knew Sarah Rogers, the living saint herself who used to walk the halls of the TB wards like the superhero she was, took care of her little slip of a boy and smacked down anyone who dared breathe wrong in his direction. Scott said he overheard Nat tellin Clint that she'd overheard Tony talkin on the phone to some Commando named Morita's kid about stories his dad told him about Steve Fuckin Rogers back in the day. Seems like the poor kid lost his mom to the very disease she'd been savin people from all those years ago, and he used to sing her favourite songs in this strange language but would shut up when caught out by his soldier buddies. Kept lookin in all the churches they crashed in while marching through the mud of war for rosaries too, but not just any rosary though he'd pray pretty hard regardless but he was lookin for something all specific like. Seems Tony's dad Howard sent some dudes out to try and track down Sarah's shit that was left behind at the sanitorium where people go to get better but mostly just pass on, but never found nothin. Scott said Nat said she asked Bucky about the singing but he wouldn't say a word about it, just laughing it off as though the Cap couldn't sing. But it got me thinking - so what if Howard Starks minions couldn't find anything? They weren't from the 'hood ya know? You gotta know people, trust 'em, if they gonna give up somethin precious. So I put the word out at Franks pawn shop, you know if they come across anything, or know who to ask. Well, a few weeks later I got a call from old Frank himself. Seems he remembered a neighbour of Sarah and her son who'd been in the same TB ward as Nurse Rogers but had survived! Attributes it to Sarah giving her something before she passed on, and she kept that stuff for her son Little Stevie, and don't you know Nat won't let go of that nickname even under threat of death, But Little Stevie turned into Captain America and drove a plane into the ice and never came back to Brooklyn so she passed Sarah's stuff down to her daughter then to her son to his daughter until Franks great granddaughter puts the word out and that's all she wrote man! Except it ain't cause the Cap came outta the ice and now I had to convince him to come out with me to Red Hook yo! And the quickest way to get Steve Fuckin Rogers to follow you is with the promise of the best cubano sandwich he's ever had in his life. Don't forget he's a food vampire bro! And dudes most relaxed after he's eaten his four sandwiches and a box of Girl Guide cookies from these niñas who set up shop outside - little hustlers know a target when they see one! Between the two of us we bought three cases to bring back to the clubhouse. But there's one more mission we gotta complete, so I say I wanna say hello to an old friend and we go into Franks place and don't you know Steve Fuckin Rogers recognizes Frank right away 'Hey Frankie!' he says like it's been a week or something, well I guess it hasn't really been that long for him being frozen most of the century and all. Frank gives some Brooklyn salute or somethin then gets right down to business sayin 'I guess you're here for your mothers things' The confusion on my poor mans face! Lookin from me to Frank back and forth until Frank takes mercy on him and pulls out what is now and forever known as the Happy Crying Souvenir box. It's got Sarah's rosary, a song book in Latin and one in Irish or something and a letter, a letter for Little Stevie and you know I teared up at that point yo, I said I was sensitive! But I was smilin' and Frank was chattering away about how he'd found this stuff and the golden aura starts to fill the place and I'm suddenly swallowed up by it, biceps crushing my neck but all gentle like, like being embraced by a huge warm teddy bear made of concrete, that's what it's like to be hugged by Steve Fuckin Rogers, and he just says to me in this super legit old school gangsta voice I have only ever heard in The Godfather, 'Thank you, Luis. An stop callin me Steve Fuckin Rogers' And when I get released and can finally take a breath I take his massive hand, look him in his eyes and say, 'Anytime Little Stevie' and dude just shoves me like a Saint Bernard pushing over his little chihuahua buddy, and it goes on like that and when we get back to the clubhouse brandishing cookies and happy stories from the hood we turn that shit into a party. Bucky was so happy he made me chilaquiles from my ma's secret recipe, as though you can keep a secret from Slice 'n Dice Barnes. I even got a kiss from Nat and one from Barton too, though dude was on a pretty crazy sugar high from all those cookies so he totally denies it. And that's the story of the first time I got a hug from Steve." ⭐️

#Luis and his stories

[militiapax]

I Was There(Great)...Again

Trumpur(i)nations to us All! We’re all bout to get pissed on!

Washington DC resembled that of a (I’m told) harry potter fog/ whitey? people game of thrones dystopian nightmare. But mostly Dark Knight. I don’t know if it was Trump jacking Bane’s speech with grim, hitler-esque tones of totalitarian madness or the bird flocks looming feverishly around the white house like a wild pack of bats, but it was a spot on parallel to everyone’s worst knightmares rolled into a huge piece of frightful blockbuster entertainment. And the reality show rolls on.

The sky looked like dark knighttime and blinding day white at the same time (and not just the fact that trump’s fan club was almost exclusively white).

Insane amount of security, took 45 minutes to walk through a checkpoint. These did not exist at Obama’s inauguration, where there was WAY MORE PEOPLE, who was gloriously happy, singing Bob Dylan, and being vaguely observed by like 14 snipers. That brilliant day eight years ago, people flooded the mall, search-free, and though it was far colder, everyone was warm. It was a great day. This, this was something entirely different. Took almost an hour to get through the ridiculous line, but not after security dramatically broke the stick that was supporting my NODAPL sign, with white priv trump bros taunting me with “just like your broken dreams”. Once inside, it was clear no one was there, just a hitler-esque speech about carnage and a war on muslimism. It was bleak to say the last. This is what the end of America sounds like.

Had to get away from the terrible sounds of hatred and racism and found far more people protesting nearby. Saw a busted up limo, though no evidence of who did it, and it was claimed later the vehicle was set on fire. So the chants got louder and then the masses came out, still peaceful, but heated. They used the limo thing to justify pepper spraying everyone ever, including elder women who were just singing. Then they  started dropping bombs like WW7 and people were running down the streets for their lives. The blockbuster movie again. Retreating in the park nearby, hearing the bombs dropping, there was talk of a soldier who was experiencing PTSD by being there; chaos was everywhere. I heard everyone smoked at 4:20 into trump’s speech, which I distantly smelled, but mine was a smoke cloud of terror. When it was all said and not done, peoples’ eyes were burning, horrid smells of berning encompassed city blocks, chemicals were taste-able in the air, 200 arrests of people rounded up in the area that did nothing now facing insane felony charges; the city was on fire….not a strong start.

The Awokening

The following day was like a waking of a dead collective unconscious. There were so many people flooding the streets. Just maybe there are some good people left. It was reassuring, yet heartbreaking to think what they and their children will have to endure. On the way out, saw a Muslim man being arrested outside an apartment building in VA. Probable coincidence but weird sight nonetheless, chilling past future reminders of the madness ahead and behind.

Walking with all the people, the women, the children, so many clever signs, it was a breathtaking image. The celebrity scene was tight too. Lil’ bigg Mikey Moore was there again, inspiring us to action through his humor, his confessed crippling social anxiety, and the beginning of an anti-trump satire movement. Scarlett Johansen seemed to get it, and Ashley Judd’s words chilled to the very core. Madonna was a little questionable, particularly her performance, but the indigo girls soothed with a once popular uplifting 90s vibe, we have to bring that sound with us into this uncertain future. There’s something about the wonder of the unknown that seemed exciting, not frightening, on the capitol that day. That if there are enough good people still left in this country, we really might use this horror show to create something amazing. The revolutionary shift is truly upon us now, people are getting woke AF, etc. Uplifting, inspiring, and lots of chanting. “Show me what democracy looks like “ “This is what Democracy looks like. “ “Whose streets?” “our streets!” (not wall street), we even threw a couple “Bernie would have wons” into the mix; it was not difficult to get that one going quick et loud. Flooding through the streets with the largest crowd I’ve ever marched with, full of so many passionate, compassionate women and human beings, was truly glorious expression of an engaged political process that works of the people, for the people, and by the people.

Non-Alternative Facts

To be clear, There were WAY MORE PEOPLE at the womens’ march than the Inauguration

The women’s march was a reassuring, hopeful bucket of sunshine compared to the apocolypto ****show I had witnessed the day before. And there were a ton more people there. I repeat : There were way, way MORE PEOPLE AT THE MARCH ON SATURDAY, no matter how much the fake media actual photos tries to lie to us with facts. And for the record, way more of those who actually showed up Friday were there to protest Donny, and everyone there Saturday was protesting him except twelve embarrassed/angry trumpets, so the numbers are not in his favor. FAUX FACTcheck

There was a point with an engaged discussion between trumpets and non-trumpets that was uplifting, hopeful, and something different to see. Most of the exchanges between us were heckles.

One month Down…so far Down to go

My journey was wrapping up in DC, but only beginning to unwrap for life after Donny. As long as maniacs roam free in that tainted house I kept staring at in wonder and disgust, the fight will continue. As long as injustice and inhumanity occurs, WE the people will be here.

I walk past the massive sign displays lining a fence, greatly resembling a certain future Mexican wall, only these were expressing messages of hope and peace, not division and hatred. I left a couple of the signs I had been carrying around all day against the fence. I hope this incredible art piece stays here until Trump is impeached, but I am told they were all burned later that night by Trump’s thug brigade fan boys. Ew L Though this week has been a shakey start (understatement of the century), the marches and protests come to confirm what we knew all along: this country is great because of those who stay involved, not those who stay in charge.

 REVELATION NATION

It’s more than kinda crazy we rejected a qualified woman running for prez for the most sexist, sexual assaulting, and least qualified man to ever run for prez. Double Slap in the face for women, and now trumps tryin to close planned parenthood and ban abortion so it as a reaction to all those things and much more. nobody there cared that hill dawg didnt get a divorce. i know i dont.

This man can shove his way into our heads and twitterings and blood and infect us with the new old fascists amerika that was always there but you tried not to talk about til that black dude left the room.

What has happened here today leaves many stunned, punched, and wanting to move to Europe. But there’s no escape from tyranny, there’s no escape from dictatorship or racism or the few with so much wanting to keep it at the expense of their fellow people. (well maybe Sweden?) When there is enough for us all but some want more and that’s ok because “I worked for it” but don’t see how it’s the rich we should blame. The working poor felt the sadness, the women felt it--

Do you believe us now, do you feel how fragile your life really was and the floor slipping out from under the poor. “I wont be affected” you will, plus that kinda makes you sound like a dick bag, big time.

We are each other, one people. If there is injustice , it must be made right, and especially by those more so in the position to do and not suffering the same as those oppressed most, our Fellow Humans.

And we’ve lost Ourselves, only to find Ourselves

We have much to fight for now, don’t you see?  

This is the point in the world… this is it.

No exaggerating, no whammy—just WHAM

 I saw it but I still don’t believe it.

The sinking feeling that swept the crowd under a fog that was darkness but blinding white

Is it snowing

Are there bombs going off

YES, and you will have nightmares for weeks, but that’s nothing compared to four years, four more minutes

and the city burns, and not in the good berning way, the way that makes you see that the inherent flaws within capitalism and this great experiment of democracy that has truly succumbed to the inescapable corruptions of man. THAT kinda way

 8 years ago it was all different. Funny to think. Makes you laugh that painful cringe that turns a stomach

In the way that Ashley judd could catapult southern words into our shivering goosebumped souls-

It wasn’t even cold, not raining like the yesterdays of inaugurations-

How long ago that must have been

 We are Fighting for what we are Living for

Why bother? Everyone has their reasons—the families gathered here are fueled by love

Why did people vote for trump? Everyone has their reasons

Mostly action comes from places pushed to walls, bumps of dissatisfaction

we’ve grown too irritated to keep scratching, maybe we’re just tired

Meryl Lynch Streep

And even when the most beloved women who the public idolized like a star in the sky, defended the cripples and those who were different, and even those who weren’t. she herself was not defended, instead the public began to question even her trusted voice of wisdom, they questioned very facts as presented by a corporate fueled source-well I guess that part did make a little more sense-but they weren’t asking the right questions

Who made the choice---when we think we’re doing something on own , hand tied to its pupeteer.

“You’re a puppet. “no YOU’RE the puppet”

We’re ALL PUPPETS, getting played by the puppeteer, and now it’s gotten worse,

How do we get out of this nowwwww ---sinkink sinking sink holes earthquakes?

You did technically want it this way. depravity enforced, we can all speak our filthy little minds now

But it pushes you somewhere when things got lost so lost

We can cry and be babies and we are but we need to get out there now

Put bodies in ideas, action in passive, standing but sitting (in)

Just to clarify in a time where Nothing is Clear:

man-hating feminists? they been calling women who stand up for womens' rights that forever-don’t let it get to us now !! and not on our big day !

the trumpers sc(r)ewed perspective is less credible than Trump thinks CNN is. yeah no, i was there, the women were standing up for themselves, with a bunch of men with them in solidarity. if anything they might have been angry at specific white dudes taking away their rights...makes sense. This blind love of trump twists reality, and reasoning has mostly gone out of open close-minded windows.  1) they weren't specifically anti-pro life, whatever that is, they spoke to maintaining planned parenthood and affordable womens' healthcare. 2) there were tons and tons of organizers who've worked on a variety of campaigns, so it's possible one has questionable ties. this should in no sense discredit the event. 3) i saw no volugarity, just an inspirational crowd of men and women who care about the future for them and their children. im sure some would be offended by some things throughout the march, but that will happen in a ginormous crowd of passionate people, made up of families, women, and men all coming together peacefully. thought it was super non-vulgar

Inspiration Nation

honestly, there is something very wrong and darkly twisted within this current ray of disarray, trump, all his cabinet picks, all of it. Examine the true direction of this country, the true nature of the people living here. Stop allowing misinformed, destruction to keep circulating as news. This will not stand but know there are many to resist on all sides, that’s why we need to all join the same team. There are 99% of us getting wrecked and everything else is a distraction, keep us fighting, keep it us vs. us, when everyone knows it has and will always be (until we unite) US vs THEM. In the past, people waking up to it, those who are hip to it and get others on board, well we know what happens to them. That’s why this many of us getting pissed off, standing up to corrupt leaders across the world, we will finally reach the ultimate level of our strength in numbers (plus there’s more people on the planet now than there’s ever been, and that’s a hard fact to be faux).

Is it possible we can actually win now, again, yet for the first time? We have no other choice. The tipping point is upon us, environmentally, there is no choice. Socially, religiously, economically, there is no choice. Make or break, do or die, stay WOKE but get WOKER, and much, much quicker. People have been fighting for this for years , they’ve laid the groundwork, now for the berners and youthers and lovers and thinkers and dreamers-- to bring it home. You’ve been informed (shout out to Bernard on this one),  you can no longer keep your heads sandy and your hearts wavering. Join us, the militia pax, the war of peace, THE fight-it must be fought, has been fought, will be fought. No choice left but to WIN.  

            ���o�Z���

#stillsanders womens'march