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windvexer · 5 months

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hi, im really new to witchcraft and I've been interested in delving into planetary Intelligences and ig basically the idea of calling spirits (if that's the right word) to help me out. but honestly everytime i think about actually doing it i feel really really afraid. do you have any advice on how to stop feeling so uncomfortable? i just kinda feel afraid that I'm gonna piss something off and everything is gonna go to shit

Hi anon! Welcome to the wonderful world of witchcraft and spirit work ^-^

I think this is one of those things that doesn't go away with an easy answer.

Depending on where you're from, many of us were raised with deep fear of spirits and witchcraft, or even just the occult in general.

It's not wrong to be afraid, and fear itself can have a complex and powerful role in witchcraft; but I believe that's aside the point of someone trying to get into witchcraft and going "oh no! What if these forces are actually malevolent assholes who can't wait to tear me to shreds the very second I flub a line?"

But fear is information, right? One solution is to start learning and internalizing new, more balanced information, to help temper this response.

Gaining information can include things like:

Reading books from authors who work with planetary intelligences, who are able to speak on the personalities and behaviors of these intelligences

Linking up with other practitioners in a group setting and learning about their experiences

And eventually:

Performing rituals you're comfortable with and gaining information through experience

As far as I'm concerned, planetary magic is pretty decent to start out with. The planets are good guys, they're forgiving, not really all that uptight, and the magic is effective and powerful.

Some people might say, just jump right in! Start with a developed system and use the rituals of people who have done this thing a lot and have specially prepared rituals for beginners to try out what they want to try. Get over your fear by plunging in.

Which, sure, definitely do so if you'd like to.

But on the other hand, if you'd prefer to explore your fear a little more and gain balancing information first, why not do that?

Ultimately, I really don't think anyone out here should be working with beings they think are going to cause major shit if they get a little bit pissed off.

Recently I was speaking to a friend who voiced some concerns about spirit work, especially the possibility of making spirits angry and therefore aggressive. My response was, yeah, that's fine if they do that; accidentally pissing someone off is a normal part of interpersonal connection.

For example, imagine you run into a mother and her baby at the grocery store. You strike up a brief conversation, and overtaken by how cute that little baby is, you say, "what a cute baby!" and you grab and wiggle it's little foot.

The mother, reasonably, says, "no. Stop touching my baby. You shouldn't touch my baby."

And based on her expression, she means it.

So you say, "oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. You're right, that was inappropriate."

And she chills out and then the two of you follow each other on TikTok and trade information on farmer's markets.

So it's kind of like this in spirit relationships, too. Anger and aggression aren't bad. When you go over the line, a shift in tone that encourages you to get back into your lane isn't bad.

It's information; it's telling you that you shouldn't be doing that. It's information that you choose how to act on.

The problem is if you choose to work with spirits who then decide to put you through shit if you do anything to ever dare piss them off, no matter how innocent or accidental your mistake was.

Which... don't work with spirits like that. And the planets aren't like that.

I dunno, I piss my spirits off. Not on purpose, but it happens. I pissed off my Initiator just last week and got lectured for a half-hour. I pissed off Mercury (planet) real bad once too. And he was just like, "ok, well... don't you do that again >:|"

If you're afraid of working with a category of spirits (like, planetary intelligences), ask yourself if there is any category of spirits you would feel comfortable with.

If your conclusion is that any spirit might start big shit with you if you make a mistake, then that information I suspect would reveal more about you than the spirit world.

Yeah. Work with the planets if you like; they're good guys. Take a step back and immerse yourself in things a little more if you feel the need to. Work with different spirits instead if you like. But I suspect that there is no single key that is going to resolve this for you. Big Fear Of Spirits is a big fear to transform.

#answered

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miss-smutty · 3 years

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The Destructive Secret

Chapter 3

A/N- The secrets out! Well to you guys anyway 🤫

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Word count- 3,258

Warnings- Swearing, lies, deceit, cheating

Pairing- Chris Hemsworth X you / Liam Hemsworth X you

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 25th May 2021

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings

Chapter 1 + 2

"Morning babe, I tried to let you have a sleep in. I didn't wake you did I?" He asks, preoccupied with the washing up.

"No, I actually had a good sleep for once." You say nonchalantly while searching through the kitchen cupboards for a mug in a half asleep haze. "That's not going to last long when I have to spend the weekend in a hotel bed though."

Finally finding your favourite mug right at the back of the cupboard, you slam it on the counter a little more aggressively than you expected, startling you out of your daziness. Your boyfriend raises his eyebrow at you questioningly and you just shrug your shoulders back at him. It was definitely going to be one of them days, those days where nothing goes right. You would question what you'd done to deserve it but you already know the answer to that. You were just going to have to put up with karma kicking your ass at any given moment for the rest of your life.

"Aww I know babe, at least it's only two night's though." He comes up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. "You've just reminded me -" He presses carefully, the way he shifts his composure telling you he's uncomfortable with what he's about to say and your heart begins to beat a little faster. " - I know you're going away tomorrow and I really wanted to have the night alone..." He pauses again.

"Just tell me, what is it?" You ask, trying to keep the annoyance from your voice.

"My brother called this morning, he sounds in a bad way so I said he can come over and hang out tonight. You don't mind do you?" Now your heart stops beating completely, what the hell is he playing at?

"I'm worried about him, he's not been right lately and he's going away for work tomorrow night too so it's the only time I can see him really." You're angry with him for saying he's going away too, how more fucking obvious can he make it? You're just both suspiciously going to be away with work at the same time. You can't protest about it now, you don't want to raise any more questions.

"No of course not, babe." You agree reluctantly, still seething with anger on the inside. "Right, I'm going for a shower and then I better start packing." You sulk.

"Do you want some help?" He ask as you kiss him on his cheek while you're passing.

"It's ok babe, you know how meticulous I am with my packing." You say smiling softly at him.

"Gotcha, I am not getting involved with that. Give me a shout if you want a coffee."

"You're the best."

****************

Using the tap to muffle the sound of your voice while you make a call. This was starting to become a habit now, the sound of running water in the background whenever you speak to him, a memory that you will never forget. Whenever you run your bath or fill the sink you're going to be reminded of your lying and cheating. Great! Just another thing to add to the list of things to look forward to in the future.

You never thought you'd be a cheater, especially to someone you loved and cared for so deeply. You'd always despised people who cheated, could never understand how people could have multiple lives and cheat multiple times. Naively thinking that if they weren't happy they should just tell the person they are with and stop all the hurt but it doesn't always work that way. You didn't suddenly think 'hey I'm not happy, I'm going to go fuck someone else'. You certainly wouldn't have chosen his brother if that was the case. Over the years it just happened and you hated yourself for it. You weren't even unhappy in your relationship, so that throws all your theories of 'cheaters' completely out of the window. The sound of the dial tone snaps you from your thoughts.

"Hi babe." He answers almost immediately, leaving you with no time to regain your composure. "Hello?"

"Oh erm.... Don't 'hi babe' me." Not a great start, you have to admit.

"What's wrong?" You can tell that Chris is amused with your tone of voice and it makes that anger resurface.

"You know exactly what's wrong, why the fuck are you coming over here tonight?"

"Erm to s-" you don't even give him time to speak before you interrupt him. You don't believe that he's just coming to see Liam, you know he's coming to see you no matter what he says.

"As if it's not awkward enough without having you both in the same house together... You have to cancel." The thought of them both being together with you filled you with fear. How were you supposed to act around them both? The idea of it fills you with chills.

"I'm not cancelling. I haven't seen him in a while and he invited me. It'll be fine, I'll be on my best behaviour, I promise. I get you all to myself tomorrow anyway."

"Exactly so why do you need to come over here and make everything all awkward?"

"Babe I'm coming to see my brother, you get me to yourself tomorrow. Don't be selfish" you could hear the amusement in his voice, you're sure he enjoys this.

"Pfft." A huff is about the only thing you could manage right now.

"You get to have both your favourite people in the same room, at the same time... Hey maybe we can have a threesome?"

"Fuck off." You murmur, although you have to admit the thought of it does turn you on slightly. In a perfect world that would be the best possible outcome but it's not a perfect world and that most definitely would never happen.

"I'll see you tonight, wear something sexy." He laughs.

"This isn't funny." You reply before hanging up the phone and you're left alone with the tormenting sound of flowing water.

This is going to be a disaster, you can't help but think that tonight is the night it all comes out. Surely this isn't what he has planned, he wouldn't want to hurt his brother in such a viscous way. To announce at dinner that he's fucking his girlfriend and that they've been going behind his back and fucking for years. Surely not? You're pretty sure you're being paranoid but know you're going to be on the edge of your seat all night, frightened everytime he opens his mouth to speak.

**************

You're sure you've downed almost a full bottle of wine before he's even arrived, you try to remember how many glasses you've had when you finally hear the dreaded chime of the doorbell. Your head is dizzy with bubbles already, your stomach churning at the thought. It wasn't the cleverest of ideas to drink so much already, not when you need to be sharp and aware of what you're doing and saying. Fuck.

The way Chris' eyes light up when he sees you reminds you exactly why this is all worth it. You feel your nerves settle slightly now the first step was over and it wasn't so bad was it? You don't know what you were actually expecting, him to walk through the door and kiss you passionately sounds about right though.

"Chris! Hi, how you doing?" You act, standing on your tiptoes to hug him. It's so hard acting like he's your brother in law and not your... Boyfriend? Lover? You don't even know what to call him.

"Hi, beautiful." He whispers into your ear, making your stomach flip when you feel his lips graze against your neck. "I'm good thank you, how are you guys?" He says louder, moving away from your arms reluctantly and standing against the counter. The glint in his eyes and the smirk on his lips make him look sexy as hell, you bite onto your lip as hard as you can. Hoping to draw blood so you can concentrate on the pain and not the fact you want to rip your boyfriend's brothers clothes off.

"We're great" Liam replies.

"I'm sure you are." Chris says sarcastically under his breath, luckily Liam didn't hear him. You give Chris the glare, reminding him to be on his best behaviour.

"But how are you? You didn't sound too good the other day." Liam asks, opening a bottle of wine.

"I was probably just tired bro, you know how it is. I don't get much sleep nowadays."

"Oh yeah, is a woman involved by any chance?" Liam asks, laughing to himself.

"Yeah, something like that." Chris subtly grazes your hand as you walk into the kitchen to help Liam. You freeze on the spot, looking into his eyes you see a desperately pleading look. You know this is torture for him, that he just wants to grab you and hold onto you. Even though he tries his best not to, he hates his brother for it, he hates that he gets to have you.

"Anyway, it smells great in here. What you making?" Chris says locked in eye contact with you.

"I've just thrown together some dinner." You say casually, although deep down your heart is tugging and your hands are shaking.

"Her food is fucking amazing, I probably should have made sure you hadn't eaten first though?" Liam puts his arms around you and kisses your cheek as you carry on stirring the food on the stove. You're glad you have your back to Chris because you dread to think of his reaction. How you have to pretend you don't know each other on that deep level. You had tried to warn him that this was a bad idea.

"Yeah, no that would be awesome. Thanks" You can tell by the way his voice broke that this is causing him pain and there's nothing you can do about it.

**************

"Do you want a beer or are you ok with wine?" Liam asks Chris as you sit down at the table ready to eat.

"I'd love a beer bro" Chris replies. You watch from the corner of your eye as Liam heads to the fridge, your heart beating a little faster now he's out of sight. Looking to Chris nervously.

Chris takes the opportunity while Liams back is turned and grabs your hand under the table. Stroking your palm with his thumb he mouths the words 'love you'. You can't help but feel sorry for him, this horrible situation you're all in. You mouth the words back to him before he lets your hand go when Liam comes back into sight.

All the way through the meal Chris can't take his eyes off of you, you're worried Liam will notice but he's paying no attention. Obviously he has no reason to doubt his loyal girlfriend and protective big brother, why would he? Which makes your betrayal even more unbearable.

"This is great Y/N." Chris says after tasting your food and moving your dress a little higher so he can place his hand on the top of your bare thigh under the table. The shock makes you jump and you hit your knee on the top of the table.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks looking slightly confused.

"Sorry, yeah. I just burnt my mouth." There's a slight hint of amusement in your words, you're a bad person but the situation is just too much not to find it slightly funny. The feel of Chris' hand on your thigh makes you feel butterflies in your stomach at the same time as the deep sick feeling of dread, your mind in a giant conflicted turmoil of feelings.

You can see Chris is also trying to hide his laugh as he takes a sip from his beer, one hand still on your thigh. Why the fuck am I sat in the middle? You hadn't thought about it when you'd sat down but now realise it was a massive mistake and also subconsciously the perfect place for you. The playing piece in a match against brothers, only one player is unaware there is any contest at all.

Chris finishes his beer and puts it down on the table loudly, filling the awkward silence between you all. You can understand the awkwardness between you and Chris but why is Liam not speaking? He wanted to see Chris to figure out what was wrong with him but he's not asking any questions. Has he figured it out? Did he see Chris touch your hand earlier? Had he seen you both whispering? You wriggle in your chair, feeling deadly uncomfortable and hoping Chris would move his hand. He didn't take the hint.

"Do you want another?" Liam asks Chris, already getting up from his chair and not waiting for an answer. Something is definitely wrong. Chris's hand moves further up your thigh, grazing the lace of your panties with the tip of his long finger. He's also completely oblivious to your awkwardness, drinking too much is numbing his senses and becoming dangerous. He's playing with fire.

You fling your chair back from the table, standing abruptly, your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and nervousness.

"I'm just gunna get some more beers from the basement." Liam announces, Chris sat cooly in his chair with not an ounce of nervousness.

"It's ok I'll go, you guys have a chat." You say, desperately needing to escape for a minute to catch your breath.

"Don't be silly, it'll only take me a minute." Liam says, already walking towards the door.

Chris takes his cue again, standing from his chair and moving over to you. Standing closely so he can whisper in your ear, his arm pressed to the small of your back while he holds you against him.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed again tomorrow Y/N. I've waited too long."

"Chris, shh."

"No, you shh. I wish I had you now, right here. I could just sit you up on this counter and fuck you right here -" He moves his hand up your skirt, gripping your ass in his big hands. "- You want that don't you? Tell me." His teeth graze the skin on your neck, making your head hang back loosely. You want it so bad, all your tension melts away as your muscles relax in his arms.

"We've got all weekend Chris, we can't do this here. It's too risky." You sigh, carefully wrapping your arms around his neck and listening for any sign of Liam.

"Fuck I know but it's so hard being here with you and not being able to fucking touch you." He moves away from you, running his hand though his hair in frustration.

"I told you how hard it'd be." You say.

"How hard what would be?" Liam asks breathlessly. Fuck. You hadn't heard him coming back, how much more had he heard?

You're lost for words, completely frozen in shock. If he hadn't heard or seen anything it was still way too close for your liking.

"To shoot this ball of foil into that bin from all the way over here." Chris replies hastily, you're incredibly impressed with his quick thinking.

"Let me have a go then." Liam says, taking the foil from Chris. Typical competive brothers. Chris turns to you and winks devilishly, you're perfectly aware of how desirable he looks but you try to push that thought aside. You can't be thinking about that, the things he had just been saying and the thrill of almost being caught, all at once.

"My turn." You say raising your eyebrows at them both as you swing your hips, confidently over to the fridge. Chris bites his lip as he watches you walk over. "Watch and learn boys." This is quite possibly the strangest situation you've ever been in but you might as well make the most of it.

You shoot your shot and land the foil ball straight into the bin. Turning around and bowing, you're wide eyed when you straighten back up. They both moved towards you as if they were going to kiss you, luckily Chris stopped himself in time.

"Only you could've landed that shot." Liam says, picking you up in his arms, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him while he kisses your lips deeply.

You risk a glance at Chris over Liam's shoulder and he's seething with anger, you can see it written all over his face.

"I'm gunna go outside for some air." Chris announces blankly while Liam sets you back on the ground, a look of concern on his face.

"You alright bro?" Liam asks with no reply from Chris as he walks out of the door.

You get on with the cleaning up, distracting yourself and hoping Liam hadn't noticed Chris' reaction. You can sense Liam behind you, stood on the spot thinking. He's working it out, he's putting together all the pieces and finally working it out.

"I've worked out what's wrong with Chris." He comes up behind you, emptying the plates into the trash. Fuck, here we go.

"What do you mean?" You ask gently, not really wanting to hear his conclusion.

"You know, the reason why he's been moping about all the time." You don't turn around, you just listen, hiding your face and any reaction you're showing. "Well he's quite obviously jealous of us." He adds. There we go, he's worked it out or he's definitely worked out Chris' part in it all.

You felt your stomach drop, Chris was so obvious it wouldn't take a genius to see something was wrong.

"What makes you say that?" You press, carefully. Your back still turned to Liam while you clean the surfaces.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice how he just acted when I kissed you." Of course you noticed, you just hoped Liam hadn't. It won't be long until he puts all the pieces together and figures this all out, if he hasn't already. You pour the last of the bottle of wine into your glass, gulping it greedily. Lord knows you're going to need it.

"He needs a girlfriend, can't you fix him up with one of your friends?" You can't describe the relief you feel right now and a small twang of jealousy at the thought of Chris with one of your friends.

"I'm sure your brother isn't short of admirers Liam, he doesn't need me to fix him up" Your tone of voice was a little too short. Pull it together.

"I suppose you're right but he doesn't have the best taste in women does he?" You can feel your cheeks burning, you're fighting the urge to defend yourself. Telling Liam his brother had the same taste in women when it came to you, wouldn't go down quite so well would it?

"I'm seeing someone actually Liam." Chris says, overhearing your conversation as he came back in after finally composing himself.

"Oh really? You never said." Liam asks curiously.

"Yeah, we're keeping it to ourselves for now... Until she tells her boyfriend." What the actual fuck? You can't believe he's just said that, he looks at you defiantly, completely over this whole thing.

Liam nearly spat his drink out and you're sure your cheeks are beetroot red, you don't have a clue what to do in this situation.

"Is she married? Do I know her?" Liam questions further. You're hoping and praying he stops with the questions, Chris is ready and willing to come clean, you can tell by his expression.

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #smut #angst #liam hemsworth #read this #thor #thor series #thor smut #fanfic #chris fanfiction #fanfiction

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radiorenjun · 4 years

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I Don't Need It.

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapter: ii, iii

18 years old.

Senior year, the year everyone in school has been looking forward to. It's been two years since you decided to dedicate yourself to convince Jaemin to just accept your love for him. And to this day, he hasn't shown even the slightest bit of giving in.

"Finally, senior year! Our last year in this miserable place!" your friend groaned dramatically as you walked side by side into the school doors. "You know it's not really our last year of school, we still have college." you snickered.

Your friend gave you her signature eyeroll, "way to ruin my fantasies, y/n." she groaned. "Hey, maybe you'll find your soulmate there. If anything, I'm encouraging you." you defended with a laugh. "Way to rub in the fact that you have a soulmate," she mumbled.

"Speaking of that, have you seen Jaemin anywhere?" you smiled, looking around the halls to spot for the boy in question. "What? You need your daily dose of confessing your undying love for him?" she jokes, this time, you rolled your eyes.

Since your birthday, you have been convincing Jaemin nonstop. Giving him lunches, getting his attention, trying your best to get partnered up or sit beside him. Each and everytime he would just shake his head at you with his charming smile or just chuckle at you. He would turn you down gently if he was having a rough day, which just left you more determined.

"Don't you see Jaemin like, everyday during the summer? I mean, you two literally live next to each other" she asked. "Don't be kidding. Y/N's still keen on convincing Jaemin to accept the fact that he's her soulmate." Renjun suddenly popped up out of nowhere, walking beside you.

"Renjun! Where did you come from?" you exclaimed at the boy who just grins on response. "You startled me, you bastard!" your friend whined, punching his shoulder lightly, causing Renjun to giggle.

"I just heard the sound of unrequited love and just had to come over." he joked. You pouted, "it's been two years, I'm surprised you're still so determined." he added, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. You shrugged, looking down at your feet as you gripped the saddles of your bag.

"Y/N, real talk." you're friend said seriously making you look up at her as she slung an arm around your shoulder. "I admire you determination but doesn't it hurt to get rejected 24/7 by your own soulmate?" she whispered with Renjun nodding in agreement beside you.

You sighed. "It hurts. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm still this determined. But I really really like Jaemin, and this mark just gives me more strength to go on," you bit your lip, looking at the mark on your left wrist peaking through your baggy sleeve.

"Sometimes I just want to give up. But then a thought comes into mind, 'he is my soulmate after all, I'm sure he's going to give in soon'. But- I don't know. I'm trying my best but I don't want to keep getting rejected." you sighed, recalling the sad memories of Jaemin giving you a sympathetic or exhausted look, the annoyance lingering in his eyes whenever you come into sight.

Renjun wrapped an arm around your shoulder, his arm laying ontop of your friend as they both have you a silent sympathetic side hug. "Don't be sad, y/n." Renjun smiled sadly at your exhausted expression. "We need to get to class soon. In a mean time, no more sad stuff okay?"

You look up at your friends who gave you a reassuring smile. You nod, giving your best fake smile as you got to your own class, going your seperate ways.

"Nana!" Jaemin heard a familiar voice call out. He sighed internally, looking up from his switch as he saw you enter the class with a bright smile on your face, running up to quickly occupy the seat next to him. "Good morning!" you chirped.

Jaemin gave you a small smile, "morning." he replied shortly before going back into his game, ignoring your presence as best as he could. You had been pestering him non stop during the summer and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

Well, you were beginning to be a nuisance since you started this journey of convincing him. But you were his best friend, he couldn't just throw you out of his life once you found out that you were both soulmates.

You awkwardly sat next to him, pondering what to say as you play mindlessly with your phone. Suddenly Jaemin spoke to broke the tension, "Y/n?" he called out making you hum eagerly in response, turning to look at him with a bright smile.

"Can you not sit here? I was saving this seat for Jeno." he asked politely. Your small faultered by a tiny bit as you felt your heart sank, you nodded with an "oh!" coming out of your mouth. "Sorry, yeah, okay." you grabbed your belongings and moved to the free seat away from him.

Jaemin sighed exhaustedly at you, shaking his head as he saw Jeno plopped down to the seat next to him. "Hey lover boy!" he exclaimed, giving a smack on Jaemin's back. Jaemin rolled his eyes in response, hating the nickname he had always given him.

"Why didn't you let your soulmate sit next to you?" he asked, glancing at the girl who was typing aggressively on her phone. "Shut up, just because we have the same tattoo doesn't mean I want to be her soulmate." he muttered.

"Why not? Y/n's basically the whole package! You're lucky to get a soulmate like her." Jeno exclaimed. "Why are you acting as if you just met me yesterday, Jeno?" Jaemin chuckled, not looking up from his game of Animal Crossing.

"I just don't get why you always reject her when you're both soulmates. She's also really nice, I wish I met mine." Jeno reasoned, pulling out his phone with a pout. "That's why you always say. And I don't want to be her soulmate." Jaemin replied shortly.

"Geez. That bad?" Jeno winced at the lack of emotion in Jaemin's words. "What's that suppose to mean?" Jaemin asked, looking at his friend with a raise of his brow. "You're saying it as if you don't like her. At all." Jeno crossed his arms, poking his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

"That's not what I meant." Jaemin rolled his eyes in annoyance, he was already in a sour mood because of his stupid hormones, he didn't need another nagging from one of his friends bout the stupid theory of soulmates.

"Yeah, but can't you just say that you don't like her boldly instead of giving her hope and accepting her gifts and letting her down easy?" Jeno asked with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't think she'll listen, you know how stubborn she is." he chuckled.

"Yeah, but its just painful to see her so hopeful when you accept her gifts out of sympathy. It's physically hurting me." Jeno whined making Jaemin let out a chuckle. "Why? You like her, too?" he chuckled making Jeno make a dramatic face.

"I'm not those douchebags who has a crush on someone who already found their soulmate! How could you, Nana!" Jeno teased, using the nickname you created for the boy which made Jaemin tense up. Jeno frowned at his friend, sighing in defeat.

"It's just, what's going to happen if she really does give up on nagging you? What are you gonna do? Live your life single and die sad and alone?" Jeno tsked as Jaemin gave him an emotionless look. "Man, I'm already in a sour mood. Don't make it even worse. I already have to go to her house later to have dinner with her family."

#nct x reader #na jaemin #nct angst #nct wayv #nct #na jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #nct jaemin #jaemin x reader #nct au #nct fluff #nct jaemin x reader

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har-rison-s · 5 years

Text

death on two legs

Reader x Queen

A/N: Hi. I love this idea! Very smart, very thought-through. I tried my best to write this correctly. Happy reading!

@inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs : Can I request something where reader is a member of Queen and she is so pissed off with the management so she wrote the lyrics to Death on Two Legs and when the boys read it, they started asking questions which led to reader storming off because of annoyance. Roger followed her outside, comforts her and led her back to the studio. When she gets back they apologized and said that it's great especially Freddie so they recorded it.

warnings: stress, sexism ig

main masterlist

borhap masterlist

roger masterlist

Being the woman in Queen doesn't have a day where it's easy. If it's not her drowning in sexist comments, rumors and allegations, it's certainly the management's discrimination against her. Always at the back of the album cover or a poster, sexualised in some way in a photo-shoot, forced to wear revealing costumes. Y/N would say that also having the smallest cut of the earned money is the worst, when really the pressure and sexism gets her down the most.

You suck my blood like a leech,

You break the law and you breach,

You screw my brain till it hurts,

You've taken all my money - and you still want more.

The management gets on her nerves everyday, and finally, Y/N has had enough. If before she thought that their behavior and 'requirements' is acceptable and normal, she has now realised that no part of how they treat her every day is normal nor acceptable. And Y/N wants no bit of this abuse, which is practically hiding in plain sight. She wrote a song, putting in words the way she feels.

Freddie, Brian and John are very supportive of Y/N, what about Roger... she isn't sure. She isn't sure what he thinks about her, cause frankly he has always—since the beginning of the band—given off the feeling that he hates Y/N. He barely talks to her, and if he does - his words are very conservative and the amount of them he speaks to her is much less than to the others. Some days it was so bad that Y/N wanted to cry, always inwardly begging the answer to “Why do you hate me so much?”.

Roger's and the managements's behavior is stealing all the good energy from Y/N, and even her inspiration and creativity. So, writing a song, for which she hasn't yet created a title for, is all she could get out of herself.

Misguided old mule,

With your pigheaded rules,

With your narrow-minded cronies who are fools of the first division.

The management says everytime that everything's taken care of and 'there's nothing to be worried about'. That statements make Y/N sigh and roll her eyes. “Of course,” she says to herself quietly. They were being ridiculous. Someone has to know. Y/N's complaints needed to be heard, by someone, one person, at least, and that's what her new song is for.

She closes the door of the studio behind her and hangs her jacket on the knob on the wall. There's chatter in the room she walks towards, and she greets the smoking Freddie, Brian, who's standing next to him, and John and Roger who are both sitting down on the sofa.

“Hey, boys.” She speaks to them plainly. Y/N notices Roger's eyes lingering on her longer than the others', after they've greeted her, as well. “Is there a bug on my face or something?” She asks, really not having the energy to deal with his nonsense today, or any of the following days.

Roger shakes his head to that and shrugs. Y/N looks back at Freddie with raised eyebrows. “Yes, my dear?” He asks, looking at her carefully.

“I have a song in mind.” She says and takes a few pages of folded paper out of her jean pocket, handing it over to him. Y/N folds her arms over her chest. Freddie unfolds the papers and gestures for John and Roger to get up and read this as well, Brian moves closer to Fred so he can read as well.

Death on two legs,

You're tearing me apart... (..)

“Right, who did you dirty this time?” John asks with a raised eyebrow. Y/N shrugs and a faint chuckle pushes its way past her lips, and they continue reading.

But now you can kiss my ass goodbye!

“Wait, you're leaving the band?!” Brian exclaims. She sighs and shakes your head.

“No, Bri—“

Do you feel like suicide (I think you should)?

“What is so wrong that you'd wish someone suicide?” Freddie asks. “You know, I'm all for jokes and fun, but did something happen?”

“Seems like an awfully aggressive song.” John adds.

Although there aren't many questions or comments from the boys and Roger is quiet, it pisses Y/N off greatly and she scoffs before heading right back out of the studio. They don't want to record it, and won't take it seriously, so what's the point?

She doesn't care if any of them will misuderstand her outburst or if they would come after her, everything's bubbled up and she can't take your anger out on other people. She needs to get outside to calm herself.

The air of London spring is crispy and a bit cold, but the sun makes it all better. Y/N crosses her arms back over her chest from the slight cold and sighs out, her breath faltering from the anger she's holding in. Y/N takes a few deep breaths, fearing that tears will come soon enough.

Roger's footsteps are drowned out by the grass of the studio's lawn, and he notices Y/N by the fence. His feet start moving faster towards her, although he's kind of scared to approach. “Y/N,” he says quietly, but she doesn't seem to hear him. “Love, are you alright?” Roger asks louder and Y/N turns around to him.

Her undoubtedly pretty face is warped by stress and anger and she wipes the escaped tears out of her eyes. “I'm—I'm fine, uh...” she trails off and looks away. “Go back inside, I'll be there in a minute.”

“No, no, I'm here, you can, uh, tell me what happened.” Roger tells her. Y/N gives him a side eye. “If anything happened, I'm not saying—“

“Roger, I know you don't actually care, so go back inside. It's not obligatory.” Y/N tells him and turns away from Roger. He furrows his eyebrows and steps closer to her.

“I do care. And you can tell me whatever you're not comfortable with telling the boys.” Roger says to Y/N and she hears that his tone is honest and sincere. Maybe he does care after all, he certainly says so. Y/N opens her mouth to ask about he always seems to ignore her presence and act coldly towards her, but decides against it, now is not the time.

She gives Roger one last look of doubt, and thinks “to hell with it”. Y/N sighs. “It's, uh... it's our management that gives me problems, they always have.” She admits and Roger becomes confused. “You probably wonder why I never told you boys about it, but it's not that I don't trust you. I do trust you, I just didn't want to have any complications, and I want perfect relationships with you all, but I can't, and it's hard, and...” Y/N looks down at her feet, breathing out deeply.

Roger puts his hand on her shoulder and the gesture makes Y/N calm down a bit. “What are they... Are they doing something to you?”

“Well, yeah.” She nods, responding in a snappy tone. “I'm always either at the very front with the most horrible outfit, or at the back, looking like yous' shadow. And—believe it or not—I'm getting the smallest cut of our cash out of all five of us.” Y/N tells Roger, and he can't help but gasp. “It's all because I'm a woman.” She says quietly.

“What? That's outrageous!” Roger exclaims, but it's no breaking news to Y/N.

“They never deny the rumors about me sleeping with any four of you, and in fact, they wanted to use that for business—to gain more recognition!” She throws her hands in the air, moving away from Roger.

“What the fuck?” Roger whispers to himself. “You—We should fire them!” He

“Roger, they're most likely to fire us, and not vice versa.” Y/N states. “I'm quite used to it by now, but this song's about them, dedicated to them, our management.”

Roger sighs. “Alright, the words completely make sense now.” He puts his hands on his hips and looks at Y/N. “Look, let's go inside and tell the rest, alright?” Roger suggests. She contemplates, but agrees to Roger's suggestion, nodding. “Come 'ere.” He says, stretching his arms out to Y/N, offering a simple hug.

Y/N is hesitant, but steps closer to Roger. She immediately finds comfort in the warmth of him and hearing his calm heartbeat, and rests her cheek against his chest. Roger's arms lock around her, and they stay like that for a while. “I think it's a great song.” He admits truthfully and Y/N chuckles, a few tears again slipping past her eyes. “Really, I think it's very powerful and sort of a way to get your feelings out.” Roger says.

“Thanks, Rog.” Y/N responds. She never thought that Roger would be the one talking to her and calming her down, out of the four of them, if she ever expected pity. John's the one who she talks to the most. But she doesn't mind, although it's weird, after how Roger acts through every day.

“It's going to be alright, you will be fine.” He sooths her, and then looks down at Y/N. “Let's go inside?” He asks and Y/N nods at his question. They pull apart and make their way back into the studio building, Y/N sniffing a couple of times and getting her face proper again.

“Darling!” Freddie greets her with open arms once she comes into the recording room. She smiles at him weakly, Freddie pats her back. “Listen, I think this one is great. I already have a sound in mind for it, no offense. Let's record it!” Freddie's ecstatic about it, she can see and it makes her very glad.

“Don't I need to tell you all what it's about?” Y/N asks, looking also at Brian and Deaky. They're silent, and Y/N sighs. “It's about our management. Because they're pissing me off.” She explains and the three raise their eyebrows in shock. “I'd love to go into detail, but—“

“We're so sorry, Y/N.” Brian interrupts her in a caring voice. She throws her hand at Brian, as if to say that there's no need. “No, no, come on, we are.” He tries to convince her, his arms spread out so that the four of them can hug the poor girl. She chuckles as they all come around her.

“You're sweet, boys. Thank you.” Y/N says, looking all of them in the eyes, one by one. “You're all probably wondering how they're pissing me off, but really, I don't want to talk about it now, I just want to record my song if you do.”

Deaky smiles at her and gives Y/N's shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Tell us when you're ready, there's no rush.” He says and Y/N smiles at him in response.

“I want to record it, as well.” Brian chirps. “Shall we start?” He suggests with a little doubt, looking at all his bandmates. Everyone nods, their thoughts unified. “Let's start, then!”

Everyone breaks apart their group hug and Brian and John walk into the other room, headed for their untuned instruments. Freddie leaves to go to the bathroom and Roger looks at Y/N, who's reading her written words again.

“You alright?” Roger asks and Y/N looks at him.

“I will be, won't I?” She fires back with a question, and winks at Roger. He laughs, realising she's repeating his own words. Roger gives her another pat on the shoulder and leaves her alone to her thoughts, joining Brian and John tuning their instruments.

Then make yourself null - and - void, Make me feel good, I feel good.

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