#everything on this blog is always okay to rb if you feel the urge

[coldtomyflash]

100% not trying to be rude or anything but as my mother is an abusive alcoholic, I found your post about alcoholism and family members super insensitive. There is a rather disturbing trend on tumblr to glorify addicts in many respects (both by finding it cool/funny as portrayed and by getting mad at anyone who dares point out it's problematic behavior, often using the same terms my mom did to justify why I wasn't allowed to ever get upset over her addiction). You really made light of alcoholism.

I hate to do this, but I have to respectfully disagree with you that I was making light of it. 

I’m sorry that that is something that you experience and it’s a terrible thing to experience. I’m also sorry if I ended up using language about the topic that’s been used to silence you; it was definitely not my intent to bring up any trauma or triggering material in that way, and I don’t routinely chat with other people online about this to see what language they use to couch these issues in.

However, my post wasn’t about glorifying addicts in any way, nor was it making light of it. I would literally never do either of those things. I won’t pretend I always word things in the best way, and I’m just as fallible as the rest of us, but if that was what you took from that then please know: that wasn’t the intent or the message I was working to convey. 

The most I was doing was pointing out that it’s impossible to physically change someone or to force them to change their behavior, and that forcing an alcoholic to go cold turkey can be physically dangerous depending on their level of dependency (untreated DTs have a mortality rate of up to 35%).

I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage addicts to get help and to change. We should. We should always work toward a healthier society. I’m saying the team can’t force Mick to. The most they can do is either support him or else, truly, they could give him an ultimatum and say that he has to change or else he can’t be around. Which is well within their right if he mistreats them, and especially if he mistreats them while drinking. 

And ultimatums that arise like that, where we choose not to be around people unless they change, are completely justified. These things occur frequently when people we know are addicts because we’re powerless to force their hand. And it’s an ugly situation every time it happens. So of course each and every person is allowed to be upset over addiction - upset and heartbroken and frustrated and angry. It is a terrible thing, I won’t ever pretend otherwise.

But this all touches a bit on something else, which is mistreatment. And I want to note that abuse is also different from addiction. Addicts can be abusive, and some people are a lot more abusive when they drink, and I’m not ever going to excuse that and I absolutely think there should be consequences for it. 

But in the case of Mick, I wasn’t talking about the way he treats others, I was talking specifically about the volume of alcohol he takes in, and how it’s not really Leo’s place to dictate that for him (nor is Leo really physically capable of it, just as in the real world most of us can’t physically dictate what the people around us consume, even if we sometimes wish we could).

So… that’s what I was saying. And I want to add: I say all of this as someone who’s seen it. You and I might have different perspectives and experiences with alcoholism, but I’d never make light of it because I have spent my entire life knowing addicts. 

I don’t honestly believe I should have to justify my answer with my personal experience, but to give you some background: I have lived with addicts (roommates / family), I have addicts as family members (though not abusive ones), my parents were both raised by addicts and my mother in particular was raised by two incredibly dysfunctional and, in many ways abusive, addicts. She’s told me a story of witnessing her own mother in the throes of DTs and almost dying because of it; she literally put her own head through a wall. This is a woman who was 5 feet tall and a hundred pounds soaking wet. I lost both of these grandparents to young deaths because of health problems caused by their alcoholism. I spent my childhood knowing addicts and watched substance abuse completely destroy my best friend’s family (a family that was honestly like family to me) and saw the incredibly harsh realities of that… just too often, too much. All the time. And I still know several addicts today with varying degrees of how “functional” their addiction is. 

Ultimately, I choose to love and support these people when they’re ready to change, but I know I can’t “fix” their addiction or make the underlying problems go away. I can only help them when and where I’m able, and when they’re not well and not safe or healthy to be around, or if they become abusive, or else when my own behavior is only going to enable theirs, then I check myself out of the situation. But that’s a choice I’ve had to make and been able to make, and I would never fault another person for how they make their own choices in this regard.

So… this is the reality I’ve learned about addition based on my experiences and the experiences of all the people I personally know who have coped with addiction. Yours might be different, and that doesn’t make them (or mine) any less valid. It is what it is. But that’s why I can’t apologize for saying what I said. Because I stand by it and I believe it. 

The team can encourage and support Mick through recovery, they can ensure there are consequences for his abusive or damaging behavior so they don’t enable him, but they can’t fix his addiction or force him to change. And with respect to Leo and Mick, I still maintain that you can’t have a stranger come in and start making choices dictating an addict’s behavior (when that addict doesn’t want to change and isn’t ready to) and expect it to work out in a way that’s healthy or productive for anyone in the situation. I hope it helped serve as a wake-up call for Mick, but it’s still not Leo’s place to do that.

#and on that anxiety-inducing note i should probably stop talking about this for a while #my heart is pounding uncomfortably whoops #it's not something i like to talk about on this blog or publicly and expose myself about #but it's also something i do know something about #the most i can do is talk about my experience and also what i know through my education #and this is... that #i am genuinely sorry if i upset you #and you deserve better than to be abused and to experience that #i'm not sure what else i can tell you here #other than that i hope you're well and stay healthy and take care #alcohol tw #alcoholism tw #abuse tw #addiction tw #ask to tag #Anonymous #replies #also in case it's not clear because i got personal at this end: #everything on this blog is always okay to rb if you feel the urge

[babyurthendofjune]

washed away in you

I don’t have much to say except I appreciate your patience with me as I worked on this piece! I apologize again for all the confusion with posting and deleting and now reposting. This is the third part to my Dad!Harry series. Once again you don’t have to read those to understand this one, but I’ve linked them below in case you would like to revisit them. :)

Thank you to @taintedwonder for reading over part of this for me!

word count: 4.2k

needles tw // (small mention towards the end)

I Want Your Belly (part one) | Wonderful and Warm (part two) | writing tag | masterlist

y’all have already been so good to me but as always likes, rbs, and comments are welcome!!

//

Of all the weeks to be put on bed rest, it had to be the week that Harry started filming for his new movie role.

Technically you were on modified bed rest, which meant resting as much as possible but still moving around as necessary, but the phrase terrified Harry enough that he was doing whatever he could to keep you still. It hadn’t been an easy task, you were in your 8th month of pregnancy, quickly approaching your due date, and there still seemed to be a mountain of important things to get done before your son’s arrival.

It had only been two days since you’d started having what you thought were contractions. It had forced you and Harry to realize just how unprepared the two of you were when you had to rush out of the house at 2 a.m. with nothing packed for what could possibly be the night of your child’s appearance into the world. Just the two of you with disheveled hair and rumpled pajamas under the harsh lighting of the ER exam room. 8 hours of tests and scans and a visit from your doctor later, you returned home to fall back in bed and catch up on the sleep you had missed.

“Listen you’re both new to all this..I get it. But you’re putting too much stress on your body and that’s what caused this tonight. I know it’s hard but, take a week, relax, bed rest as much as possible. I’ll see you in my office again in a few days just to make sure everything is progressing along like we want. If there’s still too much stress on the baby, we may have to push your due date up a little earlier. But we don’t want to do that if we can avoid it.”

Currently you were in the nursery, where most of the last minute things to do remained. You were standing at the changing table, folding a set of onesies to be put away. Harry had been urging you for the past 10 minutes to sit down.

“Harry, I have been in bed all night, or as much of it as your son allowed me to be without kicking me in the ribs or pressing on my bladder. I just wanna get these folded and put away and I’ll be done.”

“Well you can at least sit while y’doing them. Or, let me finish ‘em.” His hands fall on your shoulders, gently guiding you towards the rocking chair in the corner. You gesture for him to bring the basket closer, “And why is he only my son when he’s causing you trouble?”

“Maybe cause it was your birthday treat that got us into this mess. Or because he already likes to tease us so much. Besides, you can’t do them, I have a system.”

“Yeah, a birthday treat planned by you. And I know the system, you showed me two days ago.”

“You knew the system, we changed it.”

“We? I’ve barely been home how’ve we..”

“I may have called your Mum again.” You shrug, propping your feet up on the small ottoman positioned in front of the chair, “She and I agreed it’s better this way.”

“You didn’t think it was important to notify me of this system you and y’new bestie have thought up?” He’s turned to lean his back against the changing table, arms folded across his chest. As much as he wants to be upset, he’s over the moon that you and Anne have become so much closer over the past few months. Between his mom and yours, plus your sister and his, he was thrilled to see you had so much support for days when he couldn’t be there. Anne had offered to fly out to spend the week with you, as did your mom, but you put them both off, promising you would need them more the few weeks after the birth.

“Been a little busy growing a human here, Harry. May have slipped my mind. I would’ve gotten around to it eventually.”

“Right, you can just tell me where everything goes then.” He’s already worked his way through folding the last of the pile, smiling proudly at you as you lean your head back and close your eyes, sinking further into the chair.

“Socks in the second drawer to the left, hats in the middle. If the onesies are newborn sized, they go to the right. Anything bigger than that gets tucked in the baskets by size there in the middle shelf of the closet, if you can find room.”

Between the two of your families and your group of mutual friends, you’d been given 4 baby showers over the past few months, combining with the items you and Harry had supplied for yourselves. People had been more than generous in helping stock the nursery for your little one.

“All done. How ‘bout some breakfast now?”

“You don’t have time. You have to be on set in less than an hour. I’ll make myself something in a bit. I may go back to sleep for a while, just got up to see you off and wanted to put those things away.”

“Always have time for you, angel,” He offers his hand to help you lift yourself up, “Maybe a smoothie?”

“Alright, if I let you make me a smoothie, will you take yours to go? Don’t want you to be late because of me.”

“Deal. But only if you let me tuck you back into bed before I go.”

“Deal.” You lean up slightly to accept the sweet kiss he offers before shuffling off to the kitchen together.

//

“Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve decided. You’re not allowed to look.”

You knew he wasn’t listening, trying to maybe, but not really. He sits across the room at the desk in the corner of your bedroom, glasses perched on the end of his nose, guitar in his lap, journal open in front of him. He’s in writing mode, something that usually takes you at least 30 minutes to coax him from and convince him to come to bed. Not that you ever wanted to interrupt his process, but tonight you’re feeling anxious about your impending delivery, dread slowing working its way through your body. 

It had been only a few days since your follow up appointment with your doctor. She had deemed you fit to come off bed rest, but urged you to continue to try to keep your stress level to a minimum as much as possible. Easier said than done, but you were finding small ways to relax yourself when you could; meditation, music, reading. But tonight you just wanted Harry for reassurance.

In your nightly scroll through one of your recent favorite mom-to-be blogs, you had come across an article on the difficulty of delivery. You appreciated moms who were brave enough to share their stories online and this person in particular had included a video. Despite your anxiety, you clicked to watch, curiosity overriding any fear rising in your chest. 

When he finally puts away the guitar and the journal and sheds his soft purple robe to swim up the bed to settle next to you, he asks, “Were y’sayin’ something earlier, m’love? Got lost there for a bit, m’sorry.”

His writing sessions were normally done in his office or the studio, but the past few weeks he’d preferred to do them here. Liked the idea of you trying to softly hum along to a new tune he was working through, occasionally offering your opinions about what you liked or didn’t. It was rare that you disliked anything, but he liked that you didn’t shy away from being honest with him. His favorite though? The sight of you, an open book, hand always resting on the side of your belly while you read. It was just as much a comfort for him to be near you these days as it was for you.

“Yeah. I’ve decided. You’re not allowed to look when I deliver this baby.”

His head rests on your thigh, only the side of his face visible as he looks up at you, but it’s enough to see the disappointment flash before he composes himself, not wanting to upset you.

“Alright. What d’you mean by that? Like..you don’t want me in the room or..”

“No, no, I want you in the room, that was never a question. You’re just not allowed to look when I’m pushing. I watched a video and I’m traumatized and I just..”

He sits up quickly, “You watched a birthing video? Without me?”

“Yeah, earlier when you were zoned out. You’ve never seen one?”

“Never been curious enough to watch one ‘til now. Not ‘til I thought of you having our babe. Show me the one you watched?”

You’re hesitant. Truly you’re touched he’s so curious and wants to share this experience with you, but right now the thought of him seeing your body change like that is scary. He senses your unease, almost reads your mind; he knows you so well.

“Babe, s’your body. If you really don’t want me t’look, then I won’t. Just..at least show me what you watched so I can see for myself what it’s like, what you’ll go through. S’all m’askin’ for now.”

“Okay, fine,” You pat the bed next to you and he scurries up to sit, his head on your shoulder while you navigate through your browser history to find the video. You start it, but your eyes stay focused on his face.

“Y’not gonna watch it again with me?”

“No,” You drape your arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer so you can rest your head on top of his, “I’d rather watch your reactions this time around.”

You’re curious to see how he reacts to certain parts; his little gasps and winces as the video progresses. When it ends, you’re not surprised to see tears have fallen down his face and made a small wet spot on the front of his t-shirt.

“Harry, you’re not upset with me, are you?”

“‘Course not, meant what I said earlier. If you really don’t want me t’look, then I won’t..but I don’t want you to think I’ll look at you any differently after. You’re givin’ me one of the greatest gifts anyone ever has, if anything I love you more than I ever thought I could. And that’s only gonna grow once our boy’s here.”

You run your hands through his hair, not sure what to say. You’ve never had a love this big, one that envelops you so fully. The past few months have shown you just how deeply he cares for you, and just how much your own heart could stretch to fill with your overwhelming love for Harry and now the baby growing inside you.      

He doesn’t take offense to your silence, just stills your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each of your fingertips. He slumps further down the bed, head level with your stomach. He pokes it softly through your shirt. He doesn’t even have to ask anymore, you know what he wants and you’re glad to give in to him. You scoot down to rest your head on your pillow, pulling your shirt up and tucking the fabric under your breasts.

Instantly his head rests on your tummy, a hand reaching around to lay there on the other side of it, wrapping himself around you. You reach over and turn the lamp on your bedside table off, sleep drifting it’s way through your body and mind. You let one hand fall to his back, the other one joining his arm to wrap protectively around your belly.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” 

“You can look. If you want.”

“Y’don’t have to decide tonight. We still have a little time to plan.”

“No. I don’t want to take any of this experience from you. The whole thing’s just a bit scary though.”

“I know it is, m’terrified too. But everything’s gonna be alright. I’m gonna be there for every second of it.” 

“I know you are. You’re the only thing that’s kept me sane through all this. You’ve been so good to me, H. Putting up with all my mood swings and late night cravings and whatever I needed.” 

“I haven’t had to ‘put up’ with anything. Just want to make you and bub as happy as y’both already make me.” He turns to kiss the side of your stomach before looking up at you, “Comfy? Am I squishin’ you?”

“No, it’s nice. Don’t see how you can be comfy though.” 

“I’ll move to my pillow in a bit. Just like being close to you and bub,” He yawns, “Goodnight, babe. Love you both so much.”

“We love you too, Harry. More than you’ll ever know.”

//  

Sleep had been pretty much non-existent in your third trimester. You were lucky if you got a few hours each night and cat naps throughout the day were rare. 

Tonight is no different. It’s 3 a.m and once you get up for your fifth trip to the bathroom, you know there’s no point in trying to get comfortable again. Harry will be up soon, and as much as he tries to stay quiet during his morning routine, he always found some way to unintentionally wake you. You couldn’t even sleep through his soft kisses to your forehead to say goodbye anymore.

Normally you take yourself down to the living room to find a mindless tv show or movie to carry you through your insomnia, but Harry also seemed to be infected with your curse of being a light sleeper these days. Most nights he would attempt to join you, sweet enough to not want you to be alone, stubborn enough to not listen each time you urged him to go back to bed. He always paid for it the day after though, dark circles under his eyes and nodding off to sleep throughout whatever he had scheduled. 

So in hopes that you wouldn’t wake him by leaving tonight, you reach for the remote to the bedroom tv, muting it so the noise won’t disturb him. You would almost be content enough to stare at him for the rest of the night. The sharp outline of his jaw, freckles scattered across his face that would rival the constellations in the sky, all softened by the moonlight illuminating his face perfectly. As much as you don’t want to wake him, you can’t help but reach out to run the back of your hand over the smooth skin of the man you admire so much. You adore the way even in his sleep he molds to your touch, soft snores and deep, even breaths never stopping as you move up to brush his curls away from his face. 

You almost make it through 20 minutes of a movie before his eyes flutter open. You know how much your false contractions from before weighed on him, alarm is quick to flood his face before he has a chance to take in his surroundings. 

You answer before he has a chance to let worry take over, “It’s alright. We’re okay. Just the usual..couldn’t sleep.”

He rubs his eyes to clear them, “What time s’it?”

“4:30.”

He squints slightly at the movie playing before chuckling, “How many times y’think you’ve watched this one? Know it’s been at least a dozen or so in the last month.”

“It’s my favorite. One of them, anyway. It’s always been soothing to me.”

“Bet you could quote the whole thing by now, even with it muted.”

You glance up at the tv and it only takes a second for you to pinpoint the exact part. You take his comment as a challenge, pushing yourself up out of your nest of pillows to rest your back against the headboard before quoting, “Faith is a bluebird you see from afar. It’s for real, and as sure as the first evening star. You can’t touch it, or buy it, or wrap it up tight. But it’s there just the same, making things turn out right.”

Your voice breaks as you say the last few words. Maybe it’s the combination of exhaustion and all the new fears and hormones running through your mind and body. Nostalgia of watching this when you were younger and now sharing it with your child when they are old enough touches your heart and you can’t stop the tears continuously streaming down your face.

“Baby,” He pushes himself up to rest next to you, tugging you until you're pressed close to his side, “Please don’t cry.”

“M’miserable, Harry. I’m as big as the moon and I can’t breathe and my feet always hurt and I’m just..ready for him to be here. Ready for him to be out so I can hold him and kiss him and put him in his own bed so I can rest in mine again.” 

You know you sound childish and whiny and somewhat ridiculous, but being so sleep deprived means all sense has left and so the words come spilling out, a jumbled mess you doubt he even understood.

“I know you are, love. Hate to see you so upset,” He kisses the top of your head, “Certainly as bright as the moon, but not as big. Your body’s as exactly as it should be. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but that’s only cause you’re tired. He’ll be here soon and we’ll have so many people here to help, yeah?”

All you can do is nod, you know he’s right and you know once you have a nap things won’t feel so overwhelming. You pull yourself away from him to wipe your face on your t-shirt. A smile stretches across your lips as the thought enters your mind, “If I’m as bright as the moon, you’re as golden as the sun.”

“Yeah?” He’s blushing now, looking down at his hands before his eyes dart up to meet yours, “Guess that makes bub our little star, huh?”

You giggle before shrugging, “Guess so.”

“By the way,” His hand rests on your thigh, “We gonna keep calling him bub or we gonna pick a name?” 

“Bub’s cute. Bub Styles.” You wrinkle your nose at the thought, “I just want it to be perfect for him, you know? I feel like I need to see his face before I just blindly pick a name. We could definitely narrow down some options though and see which one suits him best.”

“We’ll think of something special, eh? Somethin’ just f’him.”

“Yeah, we will,” You suck in a sharp intake of breath at a particularly hard kick from within your stomach. Harry’s head snaps to look over your face before looking down to where your hand lays on your belly.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes are wide, on edge as he waits for your answer.

“It’s fine he’s just..ah, being a little rowdy this morning.” You take his hand from your thigh and press it to where the kicks were landing, “Right here. Think that’s his butt, his head’s down here, and..ah, his feet are right about here. Can you feel him?”

His palm lays flat across the front of your belly, “S’amazing, never gets old. Bet it feels so..weird to you though.”

“At first, yeah, but got used to it pretty quickly. It’s comforting now, like he’s saying hello or contributing to our conversations when we talk.”

He puts his mouth almost right against your tummy, so close his breath tickles and you feel the vibrations when he speaks, “Take it easy on mumma, little one. Just a bit longer, yeah? Can’t wait to see ya face. Bet y’so handsome like daddy, just gotta be a lil’ more patient like mummy, alright?” 

“Think maybe he’s ready for his pre-breakfast snack?”

“Dunno..I’ll ask him though,” He bends again, “That why y’bein’ such a brat to mum, huh? Woke her up early cause you were hungry? Alright, daddy’ll make your usual.”

He kisses your stomach, before straightening to where he’s level with your face, “That sound good?”

Your “usual” was a bowl of what had been your biggest craving throughout your pregnancy; fruit. On nights like this when sleeplessness couldn’t be defeated, the two of you normally gave in pretty quickly and had breakfast together. On days when you were able to sleep through Harry’s departure, you would always wake to the bowl already prepared and ready for you. Oftentimes there would be a quickly scribbled note with the words “Love, H” stuck to the top or the side of the bowl, like you didn’t already know who had left it for you.

“You’re spoiling him already, Harry.”

He smacks a quick kiss to your cheek, pulling back just a second before diving back in to peck another one on your other cheek, “Tryin’ to spoil you too, angel.”

//

Contractions, real ones you were sure this time, had started 30 minutes ago. As much as Harry wanted to rush you out of the house in your pajamas, you had insisted on at least 5 minutes to change and pull your hair into a quick ponytail before gathering your bag and dashing down the stairs.

Just as Harry’s hand lands on the doorknob, you tug on the sleeve of his jacket, “Harry, stop for a second.”

“Why? Are you having one now?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“This is one of our last moments before we become parents. I want you to slow down, take a deep breath, and kiss me.”

“You’re impossible, you know that? Active labor and you stop me for a kiss.” He rolls his eyes but you can see his shoulders drop, relaxing just enough to press his lips firmly against yours. You reach your hand up and around to the back of his neck, deepening it for a moment before drawing back to scan his face.

“Better?” Your hand continues to work through his hair, happy to watch his face relax slightly at your touch.

“Much. How are you so calm?”

“I don’t know, really. I thought I would be scared, and I am but..I’m ready. So ready to meet him.”

“Me too. Let’s go.” His hand falls to the small of you back, leading you out the door and to the car.

Once you arrive at the hospital, he doesn’t leave your side, not even when the nurse suggests he do so while you get your epidural. She agrees to let him stay, but makes him sit in a chair in front of you and sternly tells him not to look.

He holds both of your hands, squeezing them tightly as an attempt to distract you. He knows how much you hate needles, how the thought of this procedure alone had scared you almost as much as the idea of labor. You release a deep sigh of relief when they announce it’s done, and he helps you settle back into bed, tucking the blanket around you.

“So proud of you, baby. You’re already doing amazing.” 

Things progress much faster than you ever thought they would, and it’s only three hours before you’re ready to push. Harry’s there for every second of it, hand behind your back and small encouragements in your ear when you think you can’t go any further. 

“M’tired, H.” The room is full of people, your doctor and a set of nurses, but his focus stays on you; simply existing together in that moment. Small pieces of hair have come loose from your ponytail, clinging to the sweat now covering your forehead. He sweeps them away before resting his hand on your shoulder.

“I know y’are, lovie, but you’re so so close. Doin’ so incredible,” His smile is so wide, beaming at you when he leans closer, “Y’look gorgeous too, never seen you look more stunning than now.”

That has a laugh bursting from you, still breathless when you reply,  “You’re such a bad liar.”

“M’serious! Know better than to lie to you.” He winks just before working his arm around behind your back again, giving you the motivation you needed to keep going.

It’s not long before you hear what you’re certain is one of the best sounds you’ll ever hear, the sweet sound of your baby boy’s cry as he enters the world.

//

An hour later, both of you are still in awe of your little one, sleeping peaceful now in their dad’s strong arms. Harry’s wedged himself next to you in the hospital bed, long legs stretched in front of him. He keeps looking between where your head is propped on his shoulder and the baby.

He breaks the silence first, “Definitely think he has your hair. S’nice and soft.”

“Think it’ll be darker like yours though. Maybe he’ll have your eyes.” You reach over to run your finger along your baby’s nose.

He looks between you and the baby again, a prideful smile brightening his face. He smushes his lips against your temple, and you close your eyes as the feeling of adoration combined with the  exhaustion of the day washes over you. 

You hear him whisper just as you’re drifting to sleep, “My moon and star, together at last.”

#harry styles imagine #harry x reader #my writing #dad!harry #still not perfect but I like it so much more #hope you all enjoy it!

[honeypressed]

SKZ Superhero AU based on @vampire-channie‘s au that you guys should check out!!! it’s amazing and i needed to write this so this is for you bub!! i hope you like it sakdjd also if you wanna rb please rb with the cut~ i dont wanna spam your blogs with a long post <3

No matter how many times they see Woojin shapeshift, it still feels weird and oddly intimate, like they’re watching Woojin bare his soul to everyone. A wolf, silver fur the exact shade of moonlight halts in front of them and curls in on itself, eyes glow a vivid purple, the light emanating until it glares too bright for one moment and then Woojin’s standing in front of them in human form, looking slightly weary and sporting several cuts and bruises. Hyunjin advances towards him, hands already glowing a pulsing shade of pink as he makes Woojin sit down and moves his palms over the wounds.

“They’re already at the edge,” Chan says before Woojin can even start talking. He looks tense, his eyes ringed in light blue as he surveys the patch of dark forest where they’re located.

“Read my mind,” Woojin says, with a little laughter, though his throat sounds extremely dry, “Yes, they’re at the edge of the district. The barriers around us is keeping them out for now since Jisung slammed a fuckton of electricity in there… But I don’t think it’ll keep them out for long.”

“So we fight now,” Changbin says calmly, standing up straighter, “We fight to protect what’s ours, what we love, don’t we?” He surveys the rest of them with a fierce gaze, “We protect our district.”

There’s one moment of silence then - all hell breaks loose.

A loud screech rings through their ears and the earth beneath their feet runs jagged cracks of dark blue as the electricity Jisung deployed before returns to him in a rush, and Jisung glows dark blue for a few moments, battling to control his powers. Around them, the earth starts to shake and dark clouds draw close above them, and Minho does not take well to this. At all. 

“No fucking elementist is controlling our district,” Minho snarls, starting to emit a green glow as he throws his hands up into the sky and pulls them apart, letting the clouds disperse and the rough onyx sky emerges again, too fast, too sudden. Abandoning the sky for a moment, Minho slams his palm down on the earth and at once, the earth stabilises and in several lines, shoots begin to grow out, extending from his palm, and they continue to grow, now moving in erratic lines out of the forest they’re in.

“Leads to our enemies,” Chan forestalls Minho, eyes still shining bright blue, “And only we know what they are… If we’re lost, they’ll lead us back to each other.” He takes a hard look at all of them, the eight people that now mean so much to him, shrouded in darkness, and tries not to think that this could be the last time he sees all of them. “Fight well,” He says quietly, “Stay safe.” 

Changbin is off before Chan even finishes his words, tracing one of the lines blooming with tiger lilies, figure sprinting alongside the rapidly glowing blossoms.

 Felix takes Jeongin’s hand and they melt into the background, Jeongin’s invisibility powerful enough to shroud both himself and Felix. They follow a trail of sunflowers, bright yellow to cover Felix’s yellow trail as he speeds them ahead. The colour seems like hope in the dark, a flicker of something better in the grim today.

“I’ll take the south side,” Seungmin says, then he makes his way alongside blood-red poppies that dot  the floor, like blood scattered in his wake, and a loud crash tells the rest of them Seungmin’s just toppled a tree and caught someone in it. 

They barely have time to breathe before a strand of blue geraniums curl around Jisung protectively and the shoots harden, steel-like as a huge rock drops down on him. The shoots break off, but Jisung is unharmed  - and furious. 

“Come fight me properly, you scumbag,” Jisung hisses, hands crackling with electricity and eyes flashing a light blue akin to the most dangerous summer storms. 

“Get out,” Minho says, edging him away, “I’ll deal with this person. You need to help Chan-hyung.” Another huge rock materialises and drops out of nowhere and Minho barely brings his hands up in time for a tree to block the blow. “Jisung, please, go!”

“I’ll stay with him,” Hyunjin adds, moving in with Minho and taking his back, “Jisung, go!” He swipes his hand at a wall of incoming spears and they fall to the ground harmlessly, faint pink smoke rising from them.

“Hyung,” Jisung says, running beside Chan, following the zig-zag trail of white tulips that are already stained with dirt and what looks like blood, “Hyung, do you know where everyone is?”

“Just about,” Chan replies, sounding like he’s a thousand miles away, and Jisung knows he’s keeping tabs on where everyone is. The line they’re taking splits away, and dark purple orchids sprout thickly, leading deeper into the forest, and Woojin stops, looking at them.

“I’m going here,” Woojin says, and before either of them can stop him, he’s shifted into a wolf, taking the path of the dark orchids, fur changing to blend in with the dark forest, and all they can do is trust that he’ll come back.

“We’re heading for the heart,” Chan says quietly, then switches to telepathy. We take down the heart, and we greatly reduce the power they have, and it’ll be easier for the rest to take them down.

We need to distract the heart, Jisung thinks, narrowly avoiding a stray arrow from the depths of the forest, aim for the weak spot and we can destroy them from within.

I’ll distract, Chan replies immediately, you stay hidden and attack when you spot a chance, okay?

Jisung doesn’t feel comfortable about Chan being bait, but Chan outright refuses for him to be bait, so he goes along with Chan’s plan, albeit somewhat unwillingly. The fear for the rest of his team increases tenfold when he spots Changbin facing up against a team of Ghuis, but Changbin decimates two of them in one blow, gaze burning ember-orange, and turns for his next target, a walking body of destruction.

He’ll be okay, Jisung thinks, holding on to that thought with all his heart, he’ll be okay.

I’m going now, Chan says suddenly, and Jisung has to restrain himself from standing up, trying not to give his position away. From his perch in a tree, he watches as Chan approaches the unmoving group of troops in the middle of their district, their land.

“I’m here to offer you an exchange,” Chan says, loud and clear, his voice ringing through the unnatural silence even as battle roars outside their little circle of terrifying tranquility.

“Speak,” A voice sounds, disembodied and from what Jisung can see, nestled in the centre of a circle of Milesminia. He resists the urge to swear. Milesminia, hyung! He says, somewhat panicked, the dishonoured soldiers! I need Seungmin with me to face them off, I can’t take them all out with my electricity alone.

You can, is the last thing Chan says to him before he feels Chan cut off telepathy with him.

“I offer you me, in return for you leaving my district forever,” Chan says calmly, walking towards the immobile troops, but as he inches closer, the outside flanks point their swords, dripping with fire and blood at him. Chan stops, smiles slowly at the heart of them, head high and proud, “Come, make a deal with the devil, why don’t you? We’re already in hell, you can sink no further.”

Chan stares straight ahead, eyes blown with blue, the colour threatening to take over his whole eye, and he’s pushing himself to find a mind, find a conscious that’s the only living one in the mess of these unliving troops.

The silence stretches long, too long, too long, and Chan is in danger but then -

Go back, he shouts, screams, finding the conscious he’s been searching for, this is not your district, leave us alone! For one moment, the troops all falter, and the Milesminia around the heart falter, revealing an orb projecting a spectre so gruesome, unlike anything Chan has ever seen - faded and patched, a Gyeolguk, something Chan never thought would be real - and everything dies away from one second then before it ends Jisung leaps in.

“Eat shit,” Jisung snarls, flying in from the air and punching straight through the orb, whole body crackling with electricity, eyes ringed with blue so dark the ocean could be in his eyes, and the same screech resounds through the air, hanging for seconds, minutes, decades, a forever and the orb pulses once, twice -

Explodes.

A dark light ripples from the center, obliterating everything inside their small circle of quiet, and everywhere, inside their district, the creatures falter, their source of magic destroyed. Between the rest of the team, the sense that Chan’s telepathy is always there, that they can feel it under their skin, is gone, and it’s terribly unsettling.

Felix stops, his sunshine-yellow trail lighting up the darkness and making him particularly visible in the night, and he squints up at the sky, wondering if it’s become darker. “Jeongin, let’s go,” He says after Jeongin manages to trick one of the Ghouls into slamming into a tree and destroying itself. Taking Jeongin’s hand once again, they speed through the forest, following the sunflowers that are starting to wilt, a mark of Minho’s strength wavering, and Felix’s heartbeat notches up as he catches sight of Hyunjin’s pink glow in the dark fog.

“Hyunjinnie?” Felix asks, and the pink glow falters for a moment.

“Lixie?” Hyunjin asks, “Oh - thank Kore - you guys aren’t too badly hurt… Minho-hyung really spent himself out, used all his elements in one attack and his magic drained everywhere, plus he’s sustaining these lines and trying to protect all the animals by cornering them together -”

“Stop healing me,” Minho says through gritted teeth, even though he looks like he’s in a lot of pain, “We need to find the others, quick. I’m going to lose my shoots if we lie here anymore so -”

“Guys!” A voice bursts out, and just as the last tiger lily dies and rots away, Changbin emerges, eyes still smoking orange faintly, and he looks shaky. “You guys are okay - I - we need to go find the rest and find Chan-hyung and Jisung, please, I was around that area when the blast happened and -”

“What blast,” Woojin demands, emerging from the northern forests, a mess of orchid petals stuck in his hair, “I made sure all the animals are fine, Minho, you can let go of them. What blast? I heard the screaming, but a blast?”

“Everyone!” Seungmin cries, bursting in, sounding distressed, “Please - come, quick - it’s Chan-hyung and Jisung - I managed to lift it off them but -” He cuts himself off, rambling now, and they get up, Hyunjin and Woojin helping Minho to stand as the elementist was on the verge of passing out.

They follow Seungmin through the forest, the last of the red poppies dotting the way to the rest of them. There’s an air of finality as they make their way through the forest and into the open of the centre, bathed in moonlight, and they see what Seungmin had meant.

Chan’s body, strewn in the middle, no visible wound but unmoving, and beside him, Jisung, cold and motionless, a sword bleeding gold lying to his left.

“I found the sword about to stab - stab him,” Seungmin says, breaking the horrified silence first, “When I was following the poppies. And - And I forced the sword off him, but it took so long, like it was sentient, and then the sword fell to the ground and started - leaking gold.”

Hyunjin’s already taken steps towards them, sliding towards them and his knees are grazed but he doesn’t care - his hands are glowing pink over Chan’s chest and shaking with a kind of deadly desperation, doesn’t really know what he’s healing, just hopes that Chan will wake up, and his mind is a steady stream of please please please Chan-hyung come back, please, we need you, please -

What?

The first wisps of consciousness comes back to Chan, and the familiar feeling of his telepathy washes under their skin, and everyone releases half a breath. Chan stirs slightly, opening his eyes, tinged with blue, and he stares straight up at Hyunjin.

“Hyun… Jin? I - oh - we were fighting, and I told the Gyeolguk to fuck off and - and Jisung!” Chan says, sitting up so fast he nearly knocks into Hyunjin, “Jisung punched the Gyeolguk’s energy source, he might be infected, I -”

“Don’t worry,” Minho says, panting slightly and on the brink of exhaustion, “I saw his hand start to bleed gold as well so I earthed him and he’s okay, he’s not infected. I think - Hyunjin just needs to see him.” He sways alarmingly and his knees buckle, though he waves away help and says he’s just tired, withdrawing all his shoots back.

“Jisung,” Hyunjin murmurs, now pressing his glowing hands into Jisung’s chest, exhaustion prickling at his skin and making his head swoon, “Jisung, come back, please.” He hardly knows what he’s doing, just knows he needs to expel the gold out of Jisung, make him come back to them, make him wake up, make him realise he’s protected their district and it won’t be their district without him.

It’s slow. Slow like how the night has elapsed and the sun is rising with slow determination. The light breaks over them slowly, gradually, and as it does, Jisung starts to stir, eyelids fluttering and and waking up. Hyunjin pushes on, pink light glowing even more ferociously as he works to clean Jisung, because though Minho earthed him and the gold won’t come in anymore, there’s still traces left in him that could mean Jisung never wakes up again.

But Jisung does. He opens his eyes as the first rays of proper sunshine dawns over them, casting a fiery red glow over the darkness and chasing the remains of the battle away, his eyes dazzling with the force of a thousand stars.

“What - What happened?”

They have a thousand days and more to tell him what happened. For now, they’re safe, and so is their district. Sadness and pain can wait for another day.

#stray kids fanfiction #writing #stray kids drabbles #drabbles #skz superhero au #for: vampire-channie #a h i crammed this in like 4 hours i hope its okay sdkojalsjaf #sorry i couldnt quite expand on everyones power but id love to in the future omg #i hope you like this!!!!!!!! #also i apologise for any typos #its nearly 11pm and i need to shower lmao #sorry its 2.5 hours i counted lmao #its a new record im shattering myself

[luckykhuxguide]

Have you found a lot of resistance or ire pointed at you for encouraging people to play JP? I find that there's a good amount of people who insist JPUX is "easy mode" and I've even been called a shill for pointing out how different the two servers are in an effort to teach others how the NA playerbase isn't treated fairly. It's made me want to leave the NA experience entirely...

(*´◒`*) Hi Anon!

This really depends on the people you’re around. I’m going to put our replies under a read more (so click on the question) since I’ve a lot (I wrote way too much so I apologize for the wall) to say regarding this, and Lucky probably has some things to add as well.

I’ve been met with healthy skepticism, which is perfectly fine. After all, I AM biased. You shouldn’t just believe everything everyone says, and always think for yourself. 

I did try to convince my friend (IRL) to play JP KHUX, because she loved playing NA KHUX. At first she said no because she didn’t want to fall into KHUX hell like me, but after I told her how different JP KHUX and NA KHUX was treated, she did join! :> She said she enjoys JP KHUX a whole lot more than NA KHUX and stopped playing NA KHUX.

~ Lucky ★彡

We try to state hard facts in addition to our own experiences and there’s plenty of those. We’ve listed differences in play, treatment, jewels, bonuses, events and handling before. The reasons we list as PSA or when people ask for differences/reasons to migrate are to make people aware. After that, it’s up to them what they want to do with the information.

I’m guilting of urging NA KHUX players to play JP KHUX though. =w=;; When they come and rant to me on this blog, there is nothing I can do but tell them to play JP KHUX if they enjoy the game play but couldn’t handle the way NA KHUX were being treated. Honestly, I wouldn’t have much of a problem with playing NA KHUX if NA KHUX were treated the same way as JP KHUX. But all I can do is to advice them to change. Whether they take action or not is ultimately up to them. I’ve done all I can do urge them, but the choice is their’s to make.

~ Lucky ★彡

While it’s sweet of you to make them aware of the differences (and suggest they try JP KHUX), a lot of people have trouble with language barriers or straightup abandoning their account. Personal reasons also apply. This is completely understandable, and we do encourage to read up on the plot of KHUX through either the global version or youtube videos/translations if they try JP KHUX.

I’ve always found it a bit difficult to recommend KHUX JP, especially at first. I got better at reading Japanese through it, but I’m definitely among the select few of intl players who can read Japanese. The more feedback I got from happy migrated players, the more confident I got with recommending the JP server to others (using quotes and numbers to back my claims more in addition to the facts and my own experiences). Obviously I still put a disclaimer; part of my experience differs, since I don’t need to look things up. This makes me a faster player and enables me to enjoy the story. Heck, my own party members read either no Japanese at all, or picked up some keywords for when I’m not around.  And even they enjoy the game a ton. In both versions, being part of a good party can make such a difference…I’m trailing off.

Okay on my part, I’ve never understood the plot for KH games. I just know that my goal is to kill whatever I see really. There is too much in-between cut scenes that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place. So, the same happened for me with KHUX. I just kill whatever I see and complete missions. I didn’t REALLY care for the story because I’m so lost with the KH plot already and I couldn’t figure out why KHUX is so important to the KH plot aside from the keyblade war. (We’re going to be dead kids.)

~ Lucky ★彡

NA KHUX is the way it is, and probably won’t change much due to the amount of players still dishing hefty sums of money out. The resistance you’ve been seeing is part of that problem. Calling JP KHUX ‘easy mode’ is a new one to me, and makes me think that’s what they call it to make themselves feel better about it. So long they’re enjoying the game, that’s fine with me, though.

I can understand why NA KHUX players call JP KHUX easy mode, and they’re not wrong to call JP KHUX “easy mode”. Especially going from JP KHUX to NA KHUX, my JP KHUX account is GODLY compared to NA KHUX. The enemies I fight in JP KHUX die easily with a single guilted premium, yet I’m suffering in NA KHUX even using an entire deck. You do have to strategize differently in NA KHUX than you do in JP KHUX, such as giving good skills (i.e. SP+&Atk boost 3, or Lux+&Atk Boost 2) to guilted non-premiums, because chances for f2p to guilt premiums is rather impossible. 

And, TBH, because JP KHUX are so strong now, we can easily solo Raid Bosses even at level 99 (no joke guys, we can bring in like 5 million lux in one fight against a lvl 99 RB). It used to be more fun when the entire party coordinated together to kill a raid boss because we really needed to work together to defeat the raid boss and bring the raid boss to level 99. Someone needed to be a summoner and everyone else participated in killing the raid boss. Now, it is just us soloing the raid bosses. Yes, we need to work together as a party to rank well party wise, but it’s not the same... There is something fun and satisfying knowing your party members rely on each other to help each other out, and being too strong with the RBs took that aspect away.

Square KINDA brought back the “work together as a party” aspect by giving up 101 Dalmatian hell in JP KHUX, but it is only temporary. I do hope multi-player will allow us to work together again in a party. 

~ Lucky ★彡

I do not advertise JP KHUX actively. I recommend it casually when I see players struggling on global, or when they approach me about it.

I’ve seen JP KHUX players obnoxiously advertise (under SENA KHUX tweets, for example) that NA players should just join JP, that JP is better, that NA is being ridiculous. 

IDK, I DO THINK NA KHUX IS RIDICULOUS THOUGH. I mean the requirement to get a commemorative medal requires NA KHUX players to have them guilted?! LIKE SERIOUSLY? If the new premiums are guaranteed to come with 3 dots. FINE. So we need to make at most 10 draws to be qualified to get the premium and NA KHUX f2p players can do that. But asking us to get SEVEN COPIES of a premium so we can have it GUILTED by a CLOSE DEADLINE TO THE RELEASE DATE is ridiculous!!  No way can ANY f2p or c2p players can obtain these commemorative medals. Or if Square keeps the requirement in order to obtain the commemorative medals you need so and so premiums guilted, but no deadline, is okay too because f2p players can EVENTUALLY get the commemorative medal. But Square is expecting NA KHUX to have premiums guilted by such a close deadline to the release date is similar, if not the same, as the JP KHUX standard. While it is difficult for f2p JP KHUX players to obtain a commemorative medal, it is not impossible. Honestly though, they should’ve kept the requirement to obtain the commemorative medal as obtaining the premium by a deadline.

And don’t get me started on the lack of special VIP missions available every week and lack of guilt bonus events. IT WOULDN’T HURT TO GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS. JUST SAYIN’ SQUARE. GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS.

~ Lucky ★彡

To me, that’s JUST as annoying as NA players calling JP easy mode or calling players who migrate “traitors” or “weak”.

OH SNAP. I DIDN’T KNOW NA KHUX PLAYERS CALLED THOSE WHO SWITCH TO JP KHUX PLAYERS NAMES. I mean yeah, NA KHUX players would feel like they’re being betrayed, but it’s not like everyone is willing to have their wallets go on a diet for NA KHUX, or have access to the google survey to get free money and offer that as sacrifice to NA KHUX. 

~ Lucky ★彡

Nobody has the right to ruin another player’s experience. You do whatever leyts you have most fun. It’s fine to call SENA out for being unfair, but be specific, be factual, and be articulate. 

There’s NA players who will call you a shill for advertising JP KHUX. There’s NA players who will stick with NA regardless of what anyone says. There’s also JP players who feel overly sorry for NA players or will think highly of themselves for having made the switch to JP. There’s annoying/obnoxious players in both versions of the game, because we’re all just players looking for a fun experience. And players are humans, so there’s always going to be ones you don’t get along with. But there’s also those you’ll be able to befriend.

In the end though, it’s not your responsibility. If they’re having fun as is, or don’t feel like giving JP KHUX a shot, that’s their own decision. If it really starts causing you grief, remember it’s not your responsibility to persuade them or make them aware. In fact, if you’re actively persuading, I recommend you to not do so. It’s a lot of wasted energy, and if they resist, it’ll make their game experience less fun to be (constantly) reminded of the differences, too.

If they’re having fun, and you’re having fun on your own, then that’s perfectly fine the way it is. 

If they don’t want to try/play JP KHUX even after knowing the differences, there’s little anyone can do about it, and it’s their choice.

There’s a whole lot more I could say about this, but I’ll stop here. 

I don’t know if you just point it out, or if you’re actively persuading, or if you’re part of the group who’s actively advertising.

I don’t mind what you choose to do, that’s your responsibility too. 

But you did hint that the feedback you got impacted you negatively, which means you’ll want to rethink your actions– not because you have been wrong (or depending on how you went about it, maybe you approach was, I cannot say) but because your advice has been ignored or you’ve been called out for advertising.

( I’m aware that my phrasing may give you the wrong idea, so I’ll repeat: I’m not making assumptions about you. This is why I include multiple scenarios. I don’t know what type of person you are or how you tried to approach those players. You know who you are and how you approached them, so you know exactly how it went. You don’t owe me that explanation and I don’t need you do go into detail– you can figure out where to go from here. But again, my advice in a tldr: if it causes you so much grief and frustration, maybe it’s better to focus on having fun and being a bit more picky with who you try to help out. )

–Salt

#anonymous #opinion #salt takeover #khux #na khux #jp khux #Anonymous #Question #Lucky ★彡 #Salt did a good job writing this! :>